Surviving VCE: Friends, Family and RelationshipsBy Elena Talevska in VCE
10th of September 2018
Family, friendship and romantic relationships are so important for you whilst you make your way through the VCE years. A year of realisation and new beginnings can fall into negative relationship experiences also. This is your year to grow and focus on your personal goals as you set out in the world, and the relationships you have in your life are a big factor whilst you continue to set out into the world.
Managing your relationships
Your friends all of a sudden are distancing away from you. Or your parents are mad at you because you haven’t been performing well. The stress is inevitable. However, the relationships you have with the people most significant in your life are up to you to control to create the best possible experience for you all in the midst of the stresses of Year 12.
For me personally, dealing with my friendships, family and romantic relationships during VCE was a time of realisation of the group of people who I want in my life. Following my father’s passing 5 years ago, my subsequent relationship with my older brother and my mum wasn’t always smooth gliding. What felt like the never ending constant arguments with my family, as I was dealing with all the negative experiences of my relationship with my boyfriend at the time had been all building up leading to a poor mental health state. Continuing a romantic relationship which I had during Year 11 had not been the right path for me to continue, along with the negative relationship that we had.
Our final years of school can often come with times of exploration, realising who you feel connected with, and a time where you feel competent with the relationships around you. However, romantic relationships, as much as they can be a negative experience, can also most certainly be a positive one too. Being open to a larger group of people around you and starting to explore and understand who you are with, can be a rewarding experience for you and your partner along with the stress of Year 12. They can be your best study buddy, or your motivational speaker when you’re feeling low.
In my case, my relationship began to slowly distance me away from the people who I have now realised are the most significant people in my life, and I knew that I didn’t want my final terms of school to be dawned over by my unfortunate relationship. The most crucial factor to understand here, is that whether you are in a relationship or not, the key is to acknowledge whether your relationship as a whole and your partner are positively contributing during the final years of school. Having an optimistic relationship is a beneficial aspect that can be a motivating factor in shaping some of the best memories for you, and can ease you into the overwhelming emotions Year 12 has to offer.
The impact of friends and family
My friends have been so important in making my rollercoaster journey of Year 12 so much smoother. Nevertheless, I have overcome my fair share of bumps along the way. The key for realising a positive relationship with my friends was to distance myself from my friends who did not create an environment which I knew I would benefit from, especially in my final years of school. Overcoming this step, in realising who you want to spend your final terms of high school with, is such a key aspect to understand. And trust me: you will be glad of this!
On top of exams and assessment task stress, work, sport and your other relationships, your family connection would have to be the key to your happiness. My mum, as little recognition as I may give her, is supportive of my choices, and of my goals and dreams throughout my Year 12. Developing a strong bond with your parents, siblings, aunts etc. is important to initiate a positive family tie which will help you to fall back on when times get tough.
Mondays, the day where my mum has the day off, are usually spent going shopping (which she absolutely loves), grabbing lunch, or even spending the day having a coffee and relaxing at home. Moments like these often let me unwind, and most times vent to her about my stress from school. Being able to appreciate the love and support that I receive from my family has made me understand and create a positive bond and relationship with them, which is the best thing for me personally to grow as I enter a new chapter in my life following VCE.
Ladies and gentlemen:
One thing that I think you should take from this is, be aware of your relationships around you. If you believe the people around you are not making you grow as a better person, or they radiate negative vibes, move on and surround yourself with the family and friends who are supportive of you, and always want the best for you! Positive vibes always.