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December 15, 2018, 03:50:27 am

Author Topic: English Standard - DV - Essay - URGENT!!!  (Read 360 times)

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headsup

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English Standard - DV - Essay - URGENT!!!
« on: March 14, 2018, 12:02:30 am »
0
Sorry for the late eleventh hour!!!!

Would really appreciate it if someone can look over this.... it is due tomorrow... eeek...

Spoiler
Composers create distinctively visual moments to reveal how an individual’s perception are shaped through the environment in which they live. An individual’s response to significant aspects, such as death and relationships, in their lives are negatively influenced through their environment. This idea is explored in both Henry Lawson’s short stories The Drover’s Wife and The Bush Undertaker, and Tim Winton’s Dirt Music. Distinctively visual techniques are used to challenge the preconceptions of the audience. Both composers create distinctively visual moments through techniques such as black comedy, strong imagery, detached objective tone, and colloquial language to describe the environments in which the individuals are living and how these environments have an impact upon the responses of the personas. The environments in these narratives influence important events in their lives, such as the struggles the characters go through and how they respond to these struggles.
The Drover’s Wife by Henry Lawson explores the perception of the world through the persona as influenced by the personas environment and how these perceptions influence significant aspects in the personas lives. To explore this perception distinctively visual  techniques are utilised to express these perceptions. The use of understatement throughout the story creates distinctively visual moments, to portray this influence of the environment on significant aspects, such as death. “One of the children died while she was alone. She rode nineteen miles for assistance, carrying the dead child”, is an understatement that portrays the death of the woman’s child and her lack of emotion, response and bravery as a result of the rough landscape she was exposed to. Her adverse surroundings cause her to respond to the death extensively different compared to a women in a normal society. This adaption to the landscape through the perceptions of the world, is further explored throughout the story. “Mother! Listen to them (adjective) little possums. I’d like to screw their blanky necks.”. The vernacular colloquialism portrays to the reader how even a young boy has been significantly influenced by the bush and those around him. His causes him to adapt to these surrounding and revert to the language spoken in the environment in which the lives. Through these distinctively visual moments, Lawson displays to us how an individual’s perceptions of significant aspects in their lives, such as the death of a child and communication with family has been shaped by their environment, and the personas have become a part of the environment in which they live.
Similarly, in the excerpt from Dirt Music, Winton explores perceptions of individuals through the employment of distinctively visual techniques. As in The Drover’s Wife, the role of the environment in an individuals experience is crucial to the story. The detached objective tone in ‘decent enough to spend three years with, and for Georgie Jutland that was a record’ employs a distinctively visual technique, as in The Drovers Wife and the use of hyperbole, to portray to the reader how the adverse environment of Western Australia combined with the harsh life and environment of a past life in Saudi Arabia has lead to her inability to maintain a relationship, confronting the audience as to the significant influence the landscape has had on the persona. As with The Drovers Wife, these adverse surroundings have caused her to act different in the face of significant aspects in life, which is portrayed through the unusualness of not being able to maintain a relationship, and lack of resilience through trials which is important in a relationship.. As with The Drover’s Wife, adaptation to the landscape is portrayed through vernacular colloquialism, a distinctively visual technique. “Bugger it, she thought, why not.” uses high modality language, as well vernacular colloquialism to express the identity of the persona. ‘Bugger’ is a typical Australian swear word showing been roughened by her surrounding and adapted to the rough fishing town, as with The Drovers Wife and the ‘blanks’. Therefore, we can see how both Lawson and Winton use distinctively visual techniques to express how the environment a persona encounters influences the perceptions of the world, revealed through the employment of significant aspects of life such as death and relationships. Distinctively visual techniques portray how the environment causes them to feel differently and express themselves differently to those in a similar social standing in a different environment.
Throughout The Bush Undertaker, Lawson depicts the significant influence of the environment on our lives in our reactions to significant aspects of life. “It was the death of yer when yer was alive, an’ now yer dead, it preserves yer like—like a mummy” employs black comedy to portray a vivid image of the ‘mummified’ man. The black comedy, a distinctively visual technique, creates this image for the audience by humouring the seriousness of death. Lawson uses humour to confront the audience with reality that death is really something of a relief. This becomes apparent that differing perspectives due to the harshness of the environment. “It’s time yer turned in, Brum’.” Portrays the detached objective tone of the piece, furthering the disconnection and light regard of death in the bush. This shocks the reader with the unemotional attitude of the persona in regards to the passing away of a friend, and they become sceptical and disconnected from those living in the bush. Colloquial language, “by the ‘oly frost I’ll kick yer to jim-rags, so I will”, emphasises the influence of the environment on a individuals response to significant events in this case death of a friend. Through the distinctively visual  techniques, black comedy, detached objective tone and colloquial language, Lawson expresses to the audience how the personas reaction to significant aspects in their lives, like loss, is significantly influenced by the environment.

Likewise the influence of the environment on our lives is seen in Dirt Music. The persona in Dirt Music, like the persona in The Bush Undertaker is significantly influence by the surroundings. The seriousness of a significant situation, like the death in The Bush Undertaker, being ridiculed is present in Dirt Music, “click on some dopey icon and proceed safely”, similarly employs black humour to underexaggerate the seriousness of situation as in Dirt Music, with the plan of escape from a dangerous situation being expressed in a humorous way. Similarly, Dirt Music shocks the audience with the disconnect of the persona from the situation, “Jim would be in the bathroom now,… scratching his chin,… feeling his age”, where like in The Bush Undertaker, detached objective tone is used to show how the landscape in which the persona is exposed has caused a disconnect with human emotions. Both Lawson and Winton use distinctively visual  techniques, such as black comedy and detached objective tone, to convey how the environment influences significant aspects, such as death and escape, in our lives.
It can be understood that Henry Lawson and Tim Winton effectively use distinctively visual techniques to reveal how an individual’s perceptions are shaped through the environment in which they live. This is explored through the personas perceptions and their reactions to significant aspects differing due to the landscapes to which they are exposed. The audience is able gain a more in-depth understanding into how the landscape influences an individual’s response to significant aspects, such as death, due to their experiences as Australians.


thanks heaps!
So close to the end!!!!
MY SCHEDULE
18th - English P1
19th - English P2
25th - Mathematics
29th - Modern History
30th - Mathematics extension one
2nd - Business Studies
7th - Economics
9th - D&T
10th - DONE!!!
14th - Turn 18!!
15th - green P's!

LaraC

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Re: English Standard - DV - Essay - URGENT!!!
« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2018, 01:02:39 am »
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Hey headsup

Do you have the question available? Just a little hard to know if you're answering it or not when we don't know what it is!

headsup

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Re: English Standard - DV - Essay - URGENT!!!
« Reply #2 on: March 14, 2018, 06:27:19 am »
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Hey headsup

Do you have the question available? Just a little hard to know if you're answering it or not when we don't know what it is!
yep.
How does the use of the distinctively visual explore the the ways that landscapes influence an individual’s response to significant aspects of their life?
Thanks!
So close to the end!!!!
MY SCHEDULE
18th - English P1
19th - English P2
25th - Mathematics
29th - Modern History
30th - Mathematics extension one
2nd - Business Studies
7th - Economics
9th - D&T
10th - DONE!!!
14th - Turn 18!!
15th - green P's!

LaraC

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Re: English Standard - DV - Essay - URGENT!!!
« Reply #3 on: March 14, 2018, 07:16:37 am »
+4
Ok, I've only looked at this very quickly, but if its due today I need to leave you time to edit. Personally, I think it is overall a great response. I did a different module to this when at school, so I don't have much context etc but heres just a few small pointers:

Sorry for the late eleventh hour!!!!

Would really appreciate it if someone can look over this.... it is due tomorrow... eeek...

Spoiler
Composers create distinctively visual moments to reveal how an individual’s perception are shaped through the environment in which they live. An individual’s response to significant aspects, such as death and relationships, in their lives are negatively influenced small thing, but i think this would read better if you said "...to significant aspects of their lives, such as death and relationships, are negatively influenced.....etc through their environment. This idea is explored in both Henry Lawson’s short stories The Drover’s Wife and The Bush Undertaker, and Tim Winton’s Dirt Music. Distinctively visual techniques are used to challenge the preconceptions of the audience. this little sentence sort of just sounds like a repeat of your thesis to me. Ask yourself "is it actually ADDING to what i was saying before"??Both composers create distinctively visual moments through techniques such as black comedy, strong imagery, detached objective tone, and colloquial language to describe the environments in which the individuals are living and how these environments have an impact upon the responses of the personas. The environments in these narratives influence important events in their lives, such as the struggles the characters go through and how they respond to these strugglesstruggles the characters go through - mmmm its good....but you could probably word it more eloquently...eg. obstacles they must overcome or something along those lines. Especially because you have used the word struggle twice in that short sentence..
The Drover’s Wife by Henry Lawson explores the perception of the world through the persona as influenced by the personas environment and how these perceptions influence significant aspects in the personas lives. To explore this perception distinctively visual  techniques are utilised to express these perceptions. You have your idea twice in this sentence - explore this perception, and then express these perceptions. You could potentially say Distinctively visual techniques are utilised to explore this perception, through the use of understatement.... etc. Not sure, it just may flow better. The use of understatement throughout the story creates distinctively visual moments, to portray this influence of the environment on significant aspects, such as death. “One of the children died while she was alone. She rode nineteen miles for assistance, carrying the dead child”, is an understatement you have already said that understatement is your technique.....that portrays the death of the woman’s child and her lack of emotion, response and bravery as a result of the rough landscape she was exposed to. Her adverse surroundings cause her to respond to the death extensively different compared to a women in a normal society. This adaption to the landscape through the perceptions of the world, is further explored throughout the story. “Mother! Listen to them (adjective) little possums. I’d like to screw their blanky necks.”. The vernacular colloquialism portrays to the reader instead of 'portrays to the reader how, you could say, positions the audience to realise, or something similar. What you've got is fine, I'm only looking at flow/language sophisticatedness (i Know thats not a word! lol) how even a young boy has been significantly influenced by the bush and those around him. His causes him to adapt to these surrounding and revert to the language spoken in the environment in which the lives. Through these distinctively visual moments, Lawson displays to us how an individual’s perceptions of significant aspects in their lives, such as the death of a child and communication with family has been shaped by their environment, and the personas have become a part of the environment in which they live.
Similarly, in the excerpt from Dirt Music, Winton explores perceptions of individuals through the employment of distinctively visual techniques. As in The Drover’s Wife, the role of the environment in an individuals experience is crucial to the story. The detached objective tone in ‘decent enough to spend three years with, and for Georgie Jutland that was a record’ employs a distinctively visual technique, as in The Drovers Wife and the use of hyperbole, to portray to the reader how the adverse environment of Western Australia combined with the harsh life and environment of a past life in Saudi Arabia has lead to her inability to maintain a relationship, confronting the audience as to the significant influence the landscape has had on the persona. As with The Drovers Wife, these adverse surroundings have caused her to act different in the face of significant aspects in life, which is portrayed through the unusualness of not being able to maintain a relationship, and lack of resilience through trials which is important in a relationship.. As with The Drover’s Wife, adaptation to the landscape is portrayed through vernacular colloquialism, a distinctively visual technique. “Bugger it, she thought, why not.” uses high modality language, as well vernacular colloquialism to express the identity of the persona. ‘Bugger’ is a typical Australian swear word showing been roughened by her surrounding and adapted to the rough fishing town, as with The Drovers Wife and the ‘blanks’. Therefore, we can see how both Lawson and Winton use distinctively visual techniques to express how the environment a persona encounters influences the perceptions of the world, revealed through the employment of significant aspects of life such as death and relationships. Distinctively visual techniques portray how the environment causes them to feel differently and express themselves differently to those in a similar social standing in a different environment.
Throughout The Bush Undertaker, Lawson depicts the significant influence of the environment on our lives in our reactions to significant aspects of life. “It was the death of yer when yer was alive, an’ now yer dead, it preserves yer like—like a mummy” employs black comedy to portray a vivid image of the ‘mummified’ man. The black comedy, a distinctively visual technique, creates this image for the audience by humouring the seriousness of death. Lawson uses humour to confront the audience with reality that death is really something of a relief. This becomes apparent that differing perspectives due to the harshness of the environment. “It’s time yer turned in, Brum’.” Portrays the detached objective tone of the piece, furthering the disconnection and light regard of death in the bush. This shocks the reader with the unemotional attitude of the persona in regards to the passing away of a friend, and they become sceptical and disconnected from those living in the bush. Colloquial language, “by the ‘oly frost I’ll kick yer to jim-rags, so I will”, emphasises the influence of the environment on a individuals response to significant events in this case death of a friend. Through the distinctively visual  techniques, black comedy, detached objective tone and colloquial language, Lawson expresses to the audience how the personas reaction to significant aspects in their lives, like loss, is significantly influenced by the environment.

Likewise the influence of the environment on our lives is seen in Dirt Music. The persona in Dirt Music, like the persona in The Bush Undertaker is significantly influence by the surroundings. The seriousness of a significant situation, like the death in The Bush Undertaker, being ridiculed is present in Dirt Music, “click on some dopey icon and proceed safely”, similarly employs black humour to underexaggerate the seriousness of situation as in Dirt Music, with the plan of escape from a dangerous situation being expressed in a humorous way. Similarly, Dirt Music shocks the audience with the disconnect of the persona from the situation, “Jim would be in the bathroom now,… scratching his chin,… feeling his age”, where like in The Bush Undertaker, detached objective tone is used to show how the landscape in which the persona is exposed has caused a disconnect with human emotions. Both Lawson and Winton use distinctively visual  techniques, such as black comedy and detached objective tone, to convey how the environment influences significant aspects, such as death and escape, in our lives.
It can be understood that Henry Lawson and Tim Winton effectively use distinctively visual techniques to reveal how an individual’s perceptions are shaped through the environment in which they live. This is explored through the personas perceptions and their reactions to significant aspects differing due to the landscapes to which they are exposed. The audience is able gain a more in-depth understanding into how the landscape influences an individual’s response to significant aspects, such as death, due to their experiences as Australians.


thanks heaps!

I don't have time to look at it all and still give you time to edit unfortunately. However, if you implement those sort of ideas further down I think it would flow better. Up to you though - it depends on your writing style and how you want it to read. I just say that from an outsiders perspective. Overall though, theres many more positive than negative aspects of this response and I think you should be really encouraged with it!! Well done & good luck!! :D 

LaraC

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Re: English Standard - DV - Essay - URGENT!!!
« Reply #4 on: March 14, 2018, 07:21:24 am »
+1
The other thing I noticed was just to make sure you aren't repeating your ideas! The teacher will pick it up the second they look at your paper! ;)

headsup

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Re: English Standard - DV - Essay - URGENT!!!
« Reply #5 on: March 14, 2018, 07:26:03 am »
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The other thing I noticed was just to make sure you aren't repeating your ideas! The teacher will pick it up the second they look at your paper! ;)
Thanks so much!!!
What exactly are you referring to???
So close to the end!!!!
MY SCHEDULE
18th - English P1
19th - English P2
25th - Mathematics
29th - Modern History
30th - Mathematics extension one
2nd - Business Studies
7th - Economics
9th - D&T
10th - DONE!!!
14th - Turn 18!!
15th - green P's!

LaraC

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  • Posts: 80
  • Respect: +3
Re: English Standard - DV - Essay - URGENT!!!
« Reply #6 on: March 14, 2018, 07:59:34 am »
+1
Nothing specific. I just noticed it seemed to say the same sort of thing in different words sometimes. As i said, I didn't read it completely though so it's probably fine! Just check each sentence and consider whether it helps your point or is just useless words, if that makes sense!