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January 29, 2020, 02:59:09 am

Author Topic: 50 in English, available for queries :)  (Read 213102 times)  Share 

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Rishi97

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #60 on: March 01, 2014, 04:17:09 pm »
0
Thanks heaps Lauren
Wow.. and people say english is easy. :P
2014: VCE completed
2015-2017: BSc at Melb Uni

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RazzMeTazz

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #61 on: March 03, 2014, 07:18:36 pm »
0
Hi, I am in year11 and I feel like up till now I have not put in  much effort for English and now I realise how much it matters, except my essay writing skills are kind of just all over the place

I was wondering if you knew the different types of film response essay questions you may encounter ( Discuss, to what extent do you agree? etc.) and how to form a contention for these different types of essays!

I especially don't know how to write a "Discuss" type of essay

Thanks! :)

literally lauren

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #62 on: March 03, 2014, 08:39:09 pm »
+4
Hi, I am in year11 and I feel like up till now I have not put in  much effort for English and now I realise how much it matters, except my essay writing skills are kind of just all over the place

I was wondering if you knew the different types of film response essay questions you may encounter ( Discuss, to what extent do you agree? etc.) and how to form a contention for these different types of essays!

I especially don't know how to write a "Discuss" type of essay

Thanks! :)
Don't worry, you'll have heaps of time to learn the right techniques and approaches. I was screwing things up at this stage in Year 12, and it took me till second term to learn how to properly write a Language Analysis :p

The type of essay questions will tend to be either character/theme based, or based on an author's views and values. Occasionally you'l get one on the audience's interpretation, of on the structure of the text, but other than that, there isn't much variation. You may get quotes in the prompt too, in which case you'll have to determine its significance in relation to the question. The actual phrasing of the prompt (Discuss. Do you agree? etc.) is fairly unimportant, and they're all interchangeable.
There's little difference between: 'Stasiland is about good triumphing over evil. Discuss.' and 'Stasiland is about good triumphing over evil. To what extend do you agree?' In either case, you'll be discussing the key concepts and coming to some conclusion about your own opinions (ie. the extent to which you agree.)
In short, there is no "discuss" type of essay. Every essay you write should be a discussion!
You may have learnt something different throughout years 7-10, and by all means clarify with your teacher since a lot of schools have their own unique approaches, but from a VCE standpoint, don't get too hung up on whether the question is asking you to discuss or agree.
If you need help with a specific one, feel free to post it here and I can break down a sample plan for you :)

lucipho

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #63 on: March 04, 2014, 05:39:47 pm »
0
Congrats on the score, it is truly amazing!  ;D Anyways, I was wondering if you have any tips for context pieces? I'm struggling to write them atm! WOuld it be possible if you posted some of your past works, so that we can see what a 50/50 English essay score looks like! If not, never mind (:

RazzMeTazz

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #64 on: March 04, 2014, 07:54:28 pm »
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Don't worry, you'll have heaps of time to learn the right techniques and approaches. I was screwing things up at this stage in Year 12, and it took me till second term to learn how to properly write a Language Analysis :p

The type of essay questions will tend to be either character/theme based, or based on an author's views and values. Occasionally you'l get one on the audience's interpretation, of on the structure of the text, but other than that, there isn't much variation. You may get quotes in the prompt too, in which case you'll have to determine its significance in relation to the question. The actual phrasing of the prompt (Discuss. Do you agree? etc.) is fairly unimportant, and they're all interchangeable.
There's little difference between: 'Stasiland is about good triumphing over evil. Discuss.' and 'Stasiland is about good triumphing over evil. To what extend do you agree?' In either case, you'll be discussing the key concepts and coming to some conclusion about your own opinions (ie. the extent to which you agree.)
In short, there is no "discuss" type of essay. Every essay you write should be a discussion!
You may have learnt something different throughout years 7-10, and by all means clarify with your teacher since a lot of schools have their own unique approaches, but from a VCE standpoint, don't get too hung up on whether the question is asking you to discuss or agree.
If you need help with a specific one, feel free to post it here and I can break down a sample plan for you :)


aww thankyou so much!! :) That helped me alot and gives me hope!! hahaha thankyou!!!
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR AMAZING SCORE!!! I can only hope to achieve a tiny bit of what you did :)

literally lauren

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #65 on: March 04, 2014, 08:03:03 pm »
+13
TEXT RESPONSE AND CONTEXT PRAC. ESSAYS HERE  :)
I've already put two of my Language Analysis up on this thread, and I've made another for Henry IV, but it's pretty quiet so I'll put one of my Text Responses here too.
Re: context, I've put a lot of hints in earlier posts so read through those, or let me know what style/form you're writing in or what texts/context you're studying if you need specific help.
I'll put one of my conflict essays here that was about an 18/20 I think ??? can't remember. All I know is I never wrote a 10/10 context piece until the exam. I had L.A. and T.R. under control, but Context was a much more gradual process for me. Sometimes it's just the luck of the draw with the prompts too; since the exam is worth 50% of the overall mark, a lot of students either get higher or lower study scores than what they deserve. If you cover enough ground with your practice essays, you should get to a stage where very little will surprise you.
Also, keep in mind there is no 50/50 essay. Not only are the SAC/exam marks standardised and moderated into oblivion, sometimes a 10/10 to one assesor will only be an 8/10 to another.
At the end of the year, each exam is marked by six different people, two per essay, plus another if the scores they give you are too far apart. In the end it's unlikely assessor-bias will be a big factor, but it can happen. I've been told for any top scorer, you'll find there's very little to separate the 45s from the 50s. Some just got luckier than others on the day  :-\

smile+energy

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #66 on: March 06, 2014, 06:58:47 am »
0
Hi, Lauren
I’ve downloaded your LA attachment “structure a language analysis response”, that’s REALLY good. Thanks for that. And there are some points I don’t understand (I’m sorry, English is my second language, could you explain further for me?)
“Rather than having imbalanced paragraph lengths, body paragraphs can be structure by:
Different appeals and techniques
Positioning of different players
Chronological shifts in arguments”

 Is each of the body paragraph talk about all the three comparative articles or just one paragraph talk about one article?
Could you explain further regards to the three dot points you made? How can I group the techniques used in each articles?

If I get a single article to analyse, do I need to use the same approach as in “structuring a LA response” or a different structure for a single article analysis? If it’s different, can you show me in what ways?

What does the word 'player' means in LA?

If there is a visual, how can I analyse it in my LA piece? My teacher asked me to write in 7 steps: discuss the background info; object/subject; expressions; surroundings; dialogue; colour and response-the intended effect on readers. I did try it and I ended up having a long paragraph just for the visual. I really confused about it.

Oh, I’m really sorry for asking you lots of questions. I will strongly appreciate your help. Thanks in advance.  :)
« Last Edit: March 06, 2014, 07:18:42 am by +Energy »
2014: English(EAL)   Methods   Biology   Health and human development   Accounting

literally lauren

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #67 on: March 06, 2014, 05:10:59 pm »
+8
Quote
“Rather than having imbalanced paragraph lengths, body paragraphs can be structure by:
Different appeals and techniques
Positioning of different players
Chronological shifts in arguments”

 Is each of the body paragraph talk about all the three comparative articles or just one paragraph talk about one article?
Could you explain further regards to the three dot points you made?
Basically you shouldn't have one paragraph per article. Because at the end of the year you won't get three news articles with visuals, you'll get something like a transcript of a speech with 'embedded visuals' (like a power point slide) or maybe a blog post with a few comments. There will always be some visual element you have to analyse, but don't rely on there being three/four separate texts.
Secondly, your paragraph lengths will be 'imbalanced.' Take the 2011 Exam for example: one blog post, three (I think :-\) comments from the public, and two photos. You can't just write one paragraph on the blog, one on each comment, then one on each picture. The blog post made up at least 75% of the information, so it should be about 75% of your focus in the essay. You can't have one super long paragraph on the blog, then some three or four liners on the brief comments.
Thirdly, it limits your analysis. Part of the task is to compare and contrast persuasive devices and appeals, which you can't do if you're dealing with each separately. You don't have to talk about all three in every paragraph, just make sure you have a point of comparison for each text somewhere in your essay.
Quote
How can I group the techniques used in each articles?
What does the word 'player' means in LA?
There is no official requirement, from VCAA or teachers, though some advocate their own personal preference. My recommendation is that you structure by 'key players'. (Some schools call these 'stakeholders' or 'involved parties,' whatever.) These are the main people/groups/things/ideas that are involved in the issue. For example, pretend you're analysing a news story about the government making mathematics mandatory for Year 12. The players would be: the government, the schools/teachers/community, the students, and mathematics itself. Remember- the 'players' don't have to be people. They can be objects, places, ideas, proposals, roads, countries, the media... pretty much anything.
Once you've identified the main players and grouped them into 3 or 4 categories, then you have to work out what each author is trying to say about these players, or what they want us to think about them. For example, we might have one article with the contention: 'Maths is a waste of time for students who know they don't need it, the government shouldn't be intervening.' This author therefore wants us to view the government as meddlesome, annoying, and a hindrance to education. Whereas the children are intelligent people who are capable of making their own decisions. And maths is an unnecessary 'waste of time.'
Then there's a second article that contends: 'Maths is vital for children to open their minds, and can further their careers. The government is doing the right thing by giving children the best possible education.' In this case, the government are a force for good, the children are too young and naive to know better, and maths is a very important part of our mental development.
So your first paragraph might deal with how the two authors deal with school children, and why one might chose to portray them as impressionable innocents and the other might suggest they are mature young adults. Then you might talk about mathematics in the next paragraph, and how the authors position it. Then the government, etc. etc.
Quote
If there is a visual, how can I analyse it in my LA piece? My teacher asked me to write in 7 steps: discuss the background info; object/subject; expressions; surroundings; dialogue; colour and response-the intended effect on readers. I did try it and I ended up having a long paragraph just for the visual.
It depends on the visual, but this seems like a pretty safe formula. Sometimes the colour won't be important, or the surroundings won't need discussing, so you don't have to go into detail about all 7. As a general rule, try to work out the contention of the image, and what players are involved, then you should be able to incorporate it in with your other paragraphs, rather than dealing with it separately.

Maybe check with your teacher and see if you can get some practice essays, and note their different structures.
Also: DISCLAIMER, like I said earlier, this isn't foolproof, it's not a perfect approach that will work every time. You should have some other options, even if it is just 'chronological shifts in argument' or going through each piece in order, since you might get something tricky with only one player, or with 20 different ones :P
Hope that helps :)

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #68 on: March 06, 2014, 08:13:47 pm »
0
Thank you very much :D
That's VERY HELPFUL.
2014: English(EAL)   Methods   Biology   Health and human development   Accounting

M_BONG

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #69 on: March 07, 2014, 09:44:51 pm »
+2
Hey!

Can you please read through my practice lang. analysis piece?
I know I have asked for help from you a lot in the past; you've been a great help and so I don't expect you to spend too much time on this ( you don't even need to edit it or anything - just general feedback/score would help!)

http://www.theage.com.au/comment/how-to-fix-our-problem-with-indonesia-20140303-33z49.html
“How to fix our problems with Indonesia” Hugh White, The Age 3 Mar 2013

       Australia’s worsening relationships with Indonesia has generated widespread concerns that instability in bilateral relationships could lead to larger repercussions if the conflict is not resolved. By appearing didactic, measured and assuring, Hugh White’s opinion article “How to fix our problems with Indonesia” published in The Age on the 3rd of March 2013 outlines in an enumerated, logical format ways to rectify the conflict. White contends that a proactive approach entailing modesty, maturity and sincerity is required by the Australian government, to solve the issue.
   The Australian government is positioned by White as stubborn, immature and unreasonable in its approach towards the Indonesian conflict. Its apathy and lack of vision for solving the issue is highlighted when White asserts that the government acts with “unshakable faith”, words which connote a sense of stubbornness, naivety and an acute sense of the government deliberately ignoring the well-intentioned opinions of individuals like himself. This is compounded with predictions that the current approach would only “deepen” the “rift”, directly attributing the blame on the government, White suggests that there is a reason and cause for Indonesia’s reaction. It is suggested that it is Australia’s insistent denial that a “problem exists” and “avoiding serious” discussions which has provoked such an inflamed reaction from Indonesia. When compounded with evocative idioms such as the government insisting on “stick[ing] to their guns” White engenders a serious lack of plan by the government. Through “avoiding” the real issue, the government is also relegated as a timid, passive and immature group. Berating and belittling the government’s efforts, the government’s failure to address the issue in a serious, practical and conciliatory manner is augmented. The reader is consequently reminded of its right to feel angered, embarrassed and puzzled at the government’s current course of action and be more easily convinced that Australia needs to take the first step to "solve the problem" with Indonesia.
   Having cemented the problems of the government, White implores the readership to accept his proposition that serious, mature and proactive policies need to be adopted. The proliferation of action verbs such as “need to show that”, “treat”, “step back” and “acknowledge” collectively, enables White to encourage the government to be proactive in its approach. It also indirectly serves as a bitter disapproval or criticism of the current government’s passive inactions. By suggesting that the “simple truth” is to treat Indonesia with “respect” White rebukes the government for not acting in a way that it deems to be unequivocally straightforward, decent or reasonable. Engendering a cause-and-effect, White implies that it is completely justified for Indonesia to be “offended” and have its “[feathers… ruffled]”. White suggests that Indonesia is not overreacting and Australia deserves an inflammatory and hostile reaction from Indonesia since the Australian government has been insincere, "dismissive" or unconvincing in solving the problems. In doing so, White placates any blame or hostility by its readership on Indonesia and suggests that the real blame or problem lies in Australia’s government. By severely reducing the credibility of the Australian government, the reader is more susceptible to White’s contention that the first step in repairing this bilateral relationship needs to start with Australia. Moreover, by suggesting that the Australian government is paying “political dividends” if it acts graciously, White overtly suggests that Australia stands to gain from solving the conflict. “Dividend” which clearly means an investment suggests to the reader that the government needs to act with the long-term in mind. It also incentivises the reader - that an urgent need to solve the problem exists since an "important relationship" exists with Indonesia.
   By engaging in a didactic approach, where White first contextualises and identifies the problem in the government’s current approach, the reader is more susceptible to White’s viewpoints that a change in government attitude is required. By establishing an inadequacy exists, White is ultimately more able to propose to his reader that  a mature, proactive and conciliatory approach is required by the government to solve the Indonesian conflict.

6/3/2014



literally lauren

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #70 on: March 08, 2014, 09:12:00 am »
+7
       Australia’s worsening relationships with Indonesia has generated widespread concerns that instability in bilateral relationships could lead to larger repercussions if the conflict is not resolved. By appearing didactic, measured and assuring, Hugh White’s opinion article “How to fix our problems with Indonesia” published in The Age on the 3rd of March 2013 outlines in an enumerated, logical format ways to rectify the conflict. White contends that a proactive approach entailing modesty, maturity and sincerity is required by the Australian government, to solve the issue.
   The Australian government is positioned by White as stubborn, immature and unreasonable in its approach towards the Indonesian conflict. Its apathy and lack of vision for solving the issue is highlighted when White asserts that the government acts with “unshakable faith”, words which connote a sense of stubbornness, naivety and an acute sense of the government deliberately ignoring the well-intentioned opinions of individuals like himself. This is compounded with predictions that the current approach would only “deepen” the “rift”, directly attributing the blame on the government, White suggests that there is a reason and cause for Indonesia’s reaction. It is suggested that it is Australia’s insistent denial that a “problem exists” and “avoiding serious” discussions which has provoked such an inflamed reaction from Indonesia. When compounded with evocative idioms such as the government insisting on “stick[ing] to their guns” White engenders a serious lack of plan bit clunky, 'engenders' is usually for reader's emotions of reactions eg. 'engenders a sense of disappointment in the government's incompetence...' by the government. Through “avoiding” the real issue, the government is also relegated as to a timid, passive and immature group. Berating and belittling the government’s efforts, and? the government’s failure to address the issue in a serious, practical and conciliatory manner is augmented. The reader is consequently reminded of its their right to feel angered, embarrassed and puzzled at the government’s current course of action and be more easily convinced that Australia needs to take the first step to "solve the problem" with Indonesia. Excellent paragraph
   Having cemented the problems of the government, White implores the readership to accept his proposition that serious, mature and proactive policies need to be adopted. The proliferation of action verbs such as “need to show that”, “treat”, “step back” and “acknowledge” collectively enables White to encourage the government to be proactive in its approach. It also indirectly serves as a bitter disapproval or criticism of the current government’s passive inactions. By suggesting that the “simple truth” is to treat Indonesia with “respect” White rebukes the government for not acting in a way that it deems to be unequivocally straightforward, decent or reasonable. Engendering a cause-and-effect relationship, White implies that it is completely justified for Indonesia to be “offended” and have its “[feathers… ruffled]”. White suggests that Indonesia is not overreacting and Australia deserves an inflammatory and hostile reaction from Indonesia since the Australian government has been insincere, "dismissive" or unconvincing in solving the problems. In doing so, White placates any blame or hostility by its readership on Indonesia and suggests that the real blame or problem lies in Australia’s government. By severely reducing the credibility of the Australian government, the reader is more susceptible to White’s contention that the first step in repairing this bilateral relationship needs to start with Australia. Moreover, by suggesting that the Australian government is paying “political dividends” if it acts graciously, White overtly suggests that Australia stands to gain from solving the conflict. “Dividend” which clearly means an investment suggests to the reader that the government needs to act with the long-term in mind. It also incentivises the reader - that an urgent need to solve the problem exists since an "important relationship" exists with Indonesia. ditto^
   By engaging in a didactic approach, where White first contextualises and identifies the problem in the government’s current approach, the reader is more susceptible to White’s viewpoints that a change in government attitude is required. By emphasising their inadequacy, establishing an inadequacy exists, White is ultimately more able to propose to his reader that  a mature, proactive and conciliatory approach is required by the government to solve the Indonesian conflict.

Very Good overall, I can't see any assessor giving this any less than full marks. Your analysis is focused and flows logically, you're adept at dealing with connotations, tone, and effects on the reader. You could do more with persuasive devices though. I've gone back and searched and I can't find more than two examples of actual devices you've mentioned. I know it can feel redundant to simply state: 'The use of rhetorical question makes the readers...' so you can work it in more subtly eg. 'The author rhetorically questions the government's actions...'
It's worth a really small percentage of the marks, but you might get a marker who insists upon an overt mention of some persuasive techniques. A lot of yours are indirect or implied, and that's fine; you're clearly beyond the basic TEEL format anyway, so there's no need to state the device every time. Just make sure you mention it every so often to do justice to the rest of your analysis.
It's also a little on the short side. (I'd estimate under 700 words) I know it's only one article, so maybe try and find another to link in (an image maybe) to practice comparative analysis. In the exam you should be aiming for 800+ words with emphasis on the + if you're looking at top marks. Obviously this isn't something you need to be too concerned about now, it's better to get your structural strategies sorted first anyway. But try to stretch yourself to three paragraphs if you can.
Hope that helps,
If you can get your Context and T.R. essays up to this standard you'll be cruising for a very high score at the end of the year :)

Yacoubb

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #71 on: March 08, 2014, 09:47:24 am »
+2
Hey lauren9460,

Could you check if my introduction is good for this T.R. essay?

Despite his mean and miserable ways, we never completely dislike Scrooge. Discuss.
Set in Charles Dickens' bleak microcosm of Victorian England, A Christmas Carol presents the reader with a "covetous" Scrooge, who is "hard and sharp as flint". Throughout his journey to redemption, Dickens demonstrates that his protagonist is not innately evil, soothing the reader's distaste for Scrooge. Furthermore, an insight into the bitter old man's past enables the reader to sympathise with him. Yet initially, the reader is presented with no reasons to fancy his character.
« Last Edit: March 08, 2014, 09:50:48 am by Yacoubb »

literally lauren

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #72 on: March 08, 2014, 10:17:41 am »
+4
Quote
Set in Charles Dickens' bleak microcosm of Victorian England, A Christmas Carol presents the reader with a "covetous" Scrooge, who is "hard and sharp as flint". Throughout his journey to redemption, Dickens demonstrates that his protagonist is not innately evil, soothing the reader's distaste for Scrooge perhaps a few words here about how this is achieved, to signpost later arguments ie. 'soothing the reader's distaste for Scrooge through Dickens' portrayal of his {characteristic} and/or {action}.'. Furthermore, an insight into the bitter old man's past enables the reader to sympathise with him. Yet initially, the reader is presented with no reasons to fancy his character.
Perfectly functional intro, you've set up your arguments well. It's hard to comment beyond that without reading the whole essay, but I'd say this is an excellent start :)

Yacoubb

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #73 on: March 08, 2014, 10:26:26 am »
0
Perfectly functional intro, you've set up your arguments well. It's hard to comment beyond that without reading the whole essay, but I'd say this is an excellent start :)

Thanks :)

Paulrus

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #74 on: March 08, 2014, 06:08:01 pm »
0
hey, i was wondering, would it be inappropriate to reference philosophy in a text response essay to support your argument? for example, on last year's exam there was a prompt for war poems about how his poems cause the audience to focus more on the living than the dead. if you were to include a paragraph towards the end along the lines of:

'Owen's poetry can also be considered to blur the lines between the living and the dead by entertaining the notion that the two do not necessarily inhabit different worlds, implying that they are not mutually exclusive. His poetry reflects the Cartesian dualistic view that the mind and body exist as separate entities, illustrating the way in which the fundamental essence of who the soldier once was can die, though they remain physically unscathed. The soldiers in 'Mental Cases' have been reduced to 'purgatorial shadows' who 'sit here in twilight'; unrecognisable shells of their former selves who exist in a void between life and death. Their teeth 'leer like skull's teeth wicked', with this simile representing how they have been stripped down to the most basic form of being human, leaving behind 'set-smiling corpses' whose past selves have effectively died. Owen's considered word choice in the phrase 'Esprit de corps' compounds this imagery of emptiness, with its aesthetic similarity to the English 'spirit' and 'corpse' symbolising the death of the soldiers' identities.'

and so on using other evidence/poems. is it acceptable to refer to that kind of outside source, as long as it doesn't form the basis of an argument and you have the evidence to back it up? i haven't really seen it in text response so i'm not sure whether examiners would have a problem with it.
 thank you very much for your help! :)
« Last Edit: March 08, 2014, 06:54:08 pm by Paulrus »
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