ENGLISH ADV THESIS PLS HELP

[lulupeace]

Wondering if anyone could give me feedback/advice on essay thesis! its not completely finished (hence the dots) but if I am able to get some general advice that would be AMAZING!

How has Hag-seed, as a reimagining of the tempest, brought new meaning to the tension between imprisonment and freedom?

Separate texts often find themselves connected together, due to similarities found throughout their respective content. Conversations as such are able to be conducted through the revelation of resonances and dissonances, within and between said texts.
New meaning has been brought to the tension between imprisonment and freedom within William Shakespeare’s ‘The Tempest’, through the major contextual shift found in the latter’s reimagined text, ‘Hag-seed’ by Margaret Atwood. A comparative study of the two texts exemplify the reframed interpretations cultivated by Atwood’s post modern era adaptation of the play, which poses as a response to the intertextual          conversation initiated by Shakespeare, 400 years prior. Through modernising the thematic concept of imprisonment within the pastiche novel, Atwood introduces the importance of external elements in assisting ones’ entrapment of another. In transforming this concept of external reliance from the implicit to the explicit, Atwood heightens the tension between imprisonment and freedom. This new, contextualised meaning is seen through protagonist Felix’s dependence on external implements to successfully imprison his enemies, which resonates with Prospero’s similar reliance on the supernatural to conduct an effective entrapment of his usurpers. …………………………..

[mashal hameed]

some these are some modifications I would make if it were my own essay...

I would change the sentence structure so you don't have to mention you are talking about both texts e.g within and between said texts and respective content. I think it's assumed you are talking about both and if you are talking about a one specifically then specify

My english teacher says a thesis should reaffirm the question but also contain some your own opinion/original ideas.

Also don't just put wording from the rubric just to put wording from the rubric in, it should be enhancing the point you are trying to make.

[mashal hameed]

Also could change the first line to individual texts often find themselves intertwined due to the resonances and dissonances that reside between them, leading to textual conversations that ....

Same meaning but just up the vocab a bit.