One cannot experience a discovery without being transformed by its ramifications. The impact of discoveries, whatever aspect or shape they make take, will undoubtedly transform the discoverer and consequently the wider society around them.
This is a great Thesis! Excited to see what you do with it. Australian playwright Michael Gow’s “Away Written” and Joshua Weigel’s short film “The Butterfly Circus” explore the transformative and revelatory nature of discovery.
I love that you've introduced the concept first and then the text second; really sets up the conceptual drive well. The following texts explore the impact of discoveries through the anagnorisis of its protagonists.
Be careful with language there; you've already introduced the texts. Just say "These texts explore..." The underlying nature of self-discovery, as presented by both texts, is that it has a transformative effect on individuals, ultimately leading to their greater depth of self-awareness and empathy towards members of the wider society.
I think you can tidy the expression of that last sentence a tad, remove unnecessary words and just be succinct: "The texts explore the underlying transformative effect of discoveries, which ultimately leads... etc etc." That said, this is a great introduction! Just a few little expression qualms, and I'd also like to see a list of what ideas will be covered in the following paragraphs, but on the whole not much to fault!!The transformative nature of discovery is demonstrated through relationships, which can be mended through reconciliation and communication.
This concept is great, but I think the wording focuses on relationships more than Discovery, might be worth shifting the focus a little. In Michael Gow’s play Gwen’s language reflects her growth in understanding of herself and others, whilst being shaped by the great depression.
Example? Jims anaphoric and truncated statement to Meg ‘it was money, it was bread, work’ emphasizes the harsh reality of their past.
Great use of technique, but remember, you don't need to tell me things like who the statement was said to, I only really want the technique and what it shows me about discovery! Gwen has plans that were ‘for all of us, the personal pronoun of ‘us’ reaffirms her spiritual connection with her family.
Make sure you use quotation marks correctly for all your quotes, double quotes for textual references. Jim admired the way she clung to those values but she has become an angry women. This is explicit at the school concert when she complained about the ‘musical’, her confronting attitude to the missing keys is shown in her colloquial language and capitalism of “No’ in “no I gave them to you’, exemplifying her arrogance and a reaffirmation of her provocative characteristic directed to Jim through the second person ‘you’.
You are shifting into what is called "textual retell": You are telling me what happened in the text, and although you are explaining along the way, you don't need these plot details. Give me the quote and how it relates to Discovery, then move on. The dramatic irony of ‘snide’ and ‘rude’ directed at Meg, becomes a depiction towards herself, as tangible nature of misconception is reflective of her own self assumptions. Gwen undergoes a change due to several catalysts during the process of the play.
Are we going away from the main point of the paragraph? If so, have you considered splitting this section? Her exaggeration in the negative word ‘burst’ in ‘my heads about to burst’ is her curiosity at deflecting megs personal challenge, whilst she is going through heartfelt emotions and being physically disturbed by confronting news of Tom.
Again, unnecessary plot detail, but also, keep in mind you don't need to give me the whole quote if you don't need to: The word itself is enough. This affirms her widely held assumptions and beliefs about the aspects of human experiences and the world. Towards the end of the play she affirms the importance of transformation and self-discovery. This is depicted through the alliteration of soft ‘w’ in ‘come on down to the water, the waters so warm’ conveys her nurturing attitude towards her relationships, the symbolism of the ‘water’ connects the motif of water towards her self-discovery, cleansing and healing the soul and the rebirth of her relationships.
Be sure to properly conclude each paragraph. This could be something simple like: "Thus, it is clear how...Similar to the chaos of life, many discoveries made by individuals are sudden and unexpected. This instigates the process of self-reflection and awareness.
Very cool! However, be sure to make the link to the text(s) before you begin the analysis. I'm unsure which text you are referring to in the next sentence. The ‘play within the play’ creates a metaphor for intellectual self-discoveries, seen through Tom who is able to reveal to his family and community that he is aware of and has accepted imminent death. Contrasted with colloquial language and duologue ‘ they don’t know that I know’ exemplifies tom’s awareness of his cancer.
Thus showing the audience _______ about the nature of unexpected discoveries? These sorts of links to discovery are important, and this is the missing link for you right now. The allusion of tom playing the Shakespearean character of ‘puck’ is significant as it highlights his mischievousness and not disposing of the truth.
Ensure character names are capitalised. However Toms symbolic metaphorical and repetitive dialogue with the ghostly sailor ‘I’m drowning, I’m drowning’ highlights the pressure tom is under in learning to cope and deal with his terminal illness while keep the pretense of everything is ‘ok’ for his parents.
Fantastic textual reference, but again, how does this link to Discovery? Similarly, ‘The Butterfly Circus’ references Wills transformation through the frequent use of butterfly imagery emphasizing the positive and spiritual change that renews his perception of life. Juxtaposed with the driven symbolism of the dimming light reflected at a mid shot of Will compels his inability to make physical change.
Great references here, but again, what does this show us about discovery? The frequent change in diegetic music becomes confronting when the community ‘mocks’ Will for his disability. The close up shot of Mendez’s face is provocative as he is disgusted by the reaction of the community juxtaposed with the close up of Wills face evaluates the tangible nature of his heartfelt emotions.
I like these references to the audience reaction, more of this! Mendez becomes a character that helps Will overcome his fears and to ‘follow his dreams’, the long shot of the road gives a clear indication of Wills self-discovery leading to new worlds and values.
You explained the importance of techniques really well for this text, if you related it to Discovery more explicitly it would work so well!One’s discovery can vary according to the different personal and social contexts in which the individual is able to experience them.
What about the discovery can vary? How it is catalysed? The effects it has? Demonstrated in Gow’s play through the wilderness of the storm, symbolizing the negative attitudes and possessions being washed away, their isolation on the beach prompts introspection and questioning of their previous understandings. This leads as new understandings is reaches, their physical isolation in the storm becomes symbolic of their personal isolation.
That sentence doesn't quite read correctly, could be worth revisiting? Contrasted with the three families coming together after the storm to a campfire, the fire symbolizes a new start as there past is being washed away.
What does the audience learn from this? The symbolism of ‘burnt’ acknowledges their renewal of perceptions of themselves and others. Similarly in ‘the butterfly circus’ the use of flashbacks establishes each characters personal discovery and their inability of transforming being washed away.
Ensure text names are capitalised. In the wilderness river scene, Will is left alone with his own sense of help, Mendez shows his capabilities through letting him ‘drown’ in the river.
Technique? Remember, without a technique, you are retelling and not analysing, which is nowhere near as powerful. The symbolism of the water is reminiscent of his ability to swim without any limbs, representing of cleansing of his past to reaffirm his self-discovery. A close up shot of Will configures the relief and emotions through his face as he acknowledges his self-discovery and rediscovering his lost priorities. In the very last scene we see a close up of wills face, filled with excitement and proudness as he is being approached with the community who is impressed with his transformation.
Discovery can encompass the experience of discovering something for the first time or rediscovering something that has been lost, forgotten or concealed. Through the authentic techniques used by both director and playwright highlight the human nature of reality and the ramifications, which differ from different perspectives. They underline the notion of discovery to stimulate a profound response upon the audience whilst portraying the notion of ramifications.
A nice conclusion, however, it doesn't re-enforce your Thesis!! Remember, the conclusion must tie everything together, it should tie back to the start of your essay very explicitly 
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