"Survivors of conflict are forever shaped by their experience”.
As individual human beings with unique upbringings and perceptions of the world around us. it is inevitable that we hold ideas and values different from those held by others. Therefore, it is no surprise that conflict is everywhere and we will all fall victim to it at some point throughout our ever-changing lives. While small scale conflicts such as disagreements and arguments are usually resolved within a day or two
and the consequences not major without major consequences (this is more expression than grammar), survivors of large scale conflicts often find themselves forever shaped by their experience.
(you have got to the prompt here. But please make sure your prompt is bluntly obvious in your essay) Whether this means a change for the better or for the worse, the powerful nature of conflict often means we will all be affected by it in one way or another.
Get to the prompt quicker. This is really important as examiner want to see the prompt in your essays straight away. Ideally you want to get to the prompt within the first 2 sentences of your essay. The pervasive and relentless essence of conflict can wreak havoc upon lives and cause society as a whole to transform in some way. When such a situation occurs, it is only reasonable that survivors of the conflict will be forever reminded and affected by the situation for as long as they are a part of society.
Perhaps most reflective of this is England’s colonisation of Aboriginal land in the 18th century which, to this day in 2016, still sees Indigenous Australians suffering. The circumstances surrounding this colonisation is explored in Kate Grenville’s novel The Lieutenant, where the conflict between Aboriginals and the English is seen to have stemmed from the lack of communication between the two parties. However, as communication remained unsuccessful and England remained more powerful of the two, eventually the Aboriginals were defeated and stripped of their land which today belongs to ‘Australians’. Still, over 2 centuries later, Indigenous Australians have not forgotten their treatment from England nor have they overcome their sufferings. As such, the consequences of large scale conflict cannot be underestimated, as it may not be something that lasts a while then is forgotten forever. Rather, more often than not, those who survive the conflict have to live the rest of their lives dealing with the trauma of their past and thus are still suffering in the present.
Tip: use the key words of the prompt throughout your essay, in which makes it bluntly obvious that you are adhering to the prompt, as the examiners only look at your essay for ~5 minutes.Additionally, conflict also has the ability to force moral reassessment and hence change or strengthen our views and perceptions of the world we live in. Depending on the severity of the conflict, these new or old ideologies may be something we hold for life, shaping our future perceptions and us as a person.
Whether we strengthen pre-existing beliefs, change them, or create new ones, we will always gain something from conflict that will be carried with us throughout life given the learning factor associated with encountering conflict. As demonstrated in Megan Stack’s memoir Every Man in This Village is a Liar, even the strongest of beliefs may fall victim to change when conflict is experienced. Stack, a young American journalist thrown into the midst of war between America and Afghanistan, is forced to reassess whether her morals lie with staying true to America, her home, or accepting that America has taken war too far. Eventually, after witnessing the cruelty of the country she called home, she chooses to side with Afghanistan despite this meaning she had to turn her back on America. It is through experiencing first hand, and surviving, conflict that one can learn about the truths and distinguish between right and wrong. Consequently, it is through surviving conflict that one’s true morals are revealed and their personalities shaped.
Does this even relate to your prompt?Lastly, survivors may walk out of conflict a completely different person because of the trauma experienced - they may fear certain things, or fear everything. Conversely, conflicts may also broaden our view on life and open us up to new opportunities that may otherwise have been impossible. Regardless of the outcome, it is no doubt that surviving conflict means being affected by it in some way. Currently, a world crisis surrounds the refugee problem; hundreds of asylum seekers are risking their lives on crowded boats only to be turned back once they reach their destination. Naturally, both those who do survive and are granted access into the country and those who aren’t granted access are going to be affected by their experience. For those lucky enough to survive, the weeks, maybe months, spent at sea together with the near misses of death are sure to shape their future and influence the way they live their life from that day forward.
(A specific example of this influence on their lives would make your writing stronger. See Go Back To Where You Came From to find some. ) However, fear may also haunt them for life, as the memories of life on a boat stick with them forever, Though the same conflict may affect different people in different ways, there is no denying its ability to take a toll on human lives. Our experience with conflict has the power to change the way we live, whether this be by inducing fear for the quality and quantity of life remaining or by acting as a constant reminder of the trauma once suffered.
While conflict is often thought of as a repeating cycle that finishes and ends then starts again, the everlasting effects of conflicts are often forgotten. For many, encounters with conflict results in learning, about the world and about ourselves as individuals; and with learning comes change. As a consequence, survivors of conflict are usually subjected to a change in morals or in personality that will be maintained for some time throughout the rest of life.
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Telling by how you introduce yourself, you are worried about your grammar and spelling. From what I can see, your grammar and spelling is actually quite strong considering that you are an EAL student. Not too many grammatical error here.
The main issue with your essay is you trying to adhere to the prompt. You have clearly talked about how people change after conflict, but do not touch on "forever" which is the essence of the prompt. This word implies that the change is permanent and although you have talked about it, you have not fully explored this concept. Remember that for the exam, you have to adhere to the whole prompt, not just a part of it.
Although you have managed to not turn this context essay into a text response, which is very good considering the text-heavy nature of your essay, I would still like to see more external examples in your essay, for that is one of the criteria for context. You have touched on a few examples, but please be specific in how this examples relates to your context.
This is a minor issue compared to first two mentioned, but still quite useful to consider. With signposting, you should signpost using conjunctions, but never using words such as "firstly," "secondly," "lastly," "thirdly." Use "additionally," "furthermore," "on the contrary," "on the other hand."
Other than that, this is a strong essay (stronger than some English as First Language I've seen).
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