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Author Topic: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)  (Read 603783 times)

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melprocrastinator

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #585 on: September 18, 2016, 08:06:09 pm »
I think it's a great sentence! As long as you go on to clarify what it actually means (ie. what were the values of the time? Where does that present itself in the novel?) throughout the paragraph/body paragraphs/essay, I think it is a perfect summation :)

yeah, thats the plan. This was literally the first sentence of my essay and the teacher was confused... maybe because i didnt add the comma  :P

conic curve

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #586 on: September 18, 2016, 10:19:14 pm »
Hey,
I am trying to write an integrated essay for Module A. My texts are Nineteen Eighty-Four and Metropolis.
I started but have no idea whether I am going in the right direction or not.

So far I have written a plan to answer the Question:
Evaluate how comparative study of the intertextual perspectives, values and attitudes evident in Nineteen Eighty-Four and Metropolis display the link between despotic power and rebellion.

My Plan:
Para 1: Absolute control eventuating in the suppression of individuals and them living in fear
Para 2: The necessity of rebellion to break free from the destructive cycle of oppression- rebellion that actually occurs in each text
Para 3: The outcome of rebellion in each text- the efficiency of rebellion?

I was wondering if someone could give me feedback on my Intro and Body para 1 and also advice on whether I should add or eliminate anything.

Systematic oppression achieved through the exploitation of power and control try to explain what sort of power and control eventuates is integral in ensuring citizens are consumed with the structure structure of what of their day to day lives. However, the ability of individuals to revolt against totalitarian regimes arises from their internal frustration and external forces try to be more specific when you mention 'internal frustration and external forces'. Fritz Lang’s dystopic film, Metropolis (1927) exposes the methods employed to achieve absolutism in a dictatorial civilisation try to explain a bit more of this sort of this dictorial civilastion, e.g. dictorial civilisation where ________ and the possibility of an uprising and eventual unity Uprising and eventual unity of what? between the two classes two classes of what? . A comparative study with a similar prose novel, Nineteen Eighty-Four (1949), by George Orwell manifests a totalitarian civilisation, in which rebellion although present, is portrayed as futile why is it portrayed as futile?. In both texts, individuals are reduced to mere vessels of obedience by enforcing slavery in various methods such as?. However, each text places different focus on the attitude of citizens towards their low status in society due to the differing aims of each leadership.try to explain more about their low status in society due to the differing aims of each leadership

Absolute control of what?eventuates in a self-defeated population who have no control over their freedom why don't they have control over their freedom?. This is clearly portrayed in Lang’s Metropolis, through the costuming and Lang’s choreography of the proletariats in the dystopic world of Metropolis. The uniform and robotic-like movement of the workers, who are all dressed in numbered uniforms, alludes to their lack of individuality try to explain more about their lack of individuality, e.g. you could say "alludes to their lack of individuality where _______ and reveals their despondent state despondent state of what?, as a result of Joh Frederson’s exploitation of authority you are too brief when referring to the exploitation of authority successfully instilling fear in the workers try to explain the consequence of this. Moreover, the lack of identity of the labourers is demonstrated in the larger 10-hour working clock which overshadows the smaller 24-hour clock. This symbolises the strict schedules what type of schedules? and systematic oppression of what? the workers endure and the insignificance of their life in comparison to their duties in the workers’ city. This mirrors recurrences during Weimar Germany such as when inflation increased, objections against the 8-hour work day also increased. Hugo Stinnes, declared the necessity to have two hours’ additional work a day if Germany was to recover. Likewise, the suppression of individuals due to the fear of being persecuted is evident in Nineteen Eighty-Four, through the comparison of citizens of Oceania to a bird, “They simply swallowed everything… [they] left no residue behind, just as a grain of corn will pass undigested through the body of a bird,” metaphorically revealing the extent to which the party’s control leads to the populace being incapable of understanding the lies of the government. Everything that is presented to them, despite it being the most blatant violations of reality, is accepted as they are oblivious of what the government’s true intentions try to explain more about the government's true intentions. As in Metropolis, Orwell’s novel portrays the extreme regulations in place such as? and emphasises the anxiety and fear endured by those who choose to defy Big Brother. The personification of the Big Brother poster, “It was one of the pictures… [Where]… the eyes follow you about when you move,” reveals how individuals are monitored to ensure that all rebellion is averted. try to explain the consequence of not following the rules This claustrophobic atmosphere reflects Stalin’s incitement of fear in those opposed to him through public executions try to explain what these public exceutions are about and the Moscow “show trials.” Hence, both Lang and Orwell’s compositions reflect their contexts you're too brief when you refer to contexts. You need to explain what the context was and relate it back to the time frame in order to depict the systematic oppression achieved through oligarchic regimes. oligarchic regimes of what?

Thank You!

Overall I liked this essay and thought this was very good. You however need to expand on some points and be more clearer throughout the essay

Well done  :)

elysepopplewell

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #587 on: September 19, 2016, 06:09:25 pm »
Hey,
I am trying to write an integrated essay for Module A. My texts are Nineteen Eighty-Four and Metropolis.
I started but have no idea whether I am going in the right direction or not.


Hey there! I'll give you some feedback in the spoiler here :)

Spoiler
So far I have written a plan to answer the Question:
Evaluate how comparative study of the intertextual perspectives, values and attitudes evident in Nineteen Eighty-Four and Metropolis display the link between despotic power and rebellion.

My Plan:
Para 1: Absolute control eventuating in the suppression of individuals and them living in fear
Para 2: The necessity of rebellion to break free from the destructive cycle of oppression- rebellion that actually occurs in each text
Para 3: The outcome of rebellion in each text- the efficiency of rebellion?  I like this plan. It's like you've set the seen with the effects of power and oppression, then you've explained how this becomes rebellion, and then what rebellion can lead to. Wonderful! As long as you are looking at the appropriate context and values for each, this is a winner.

I was wondering if someone could give me feedback on my Intro and Body para 1 and also advice on whether I should add or eliminate anything.

Systematic oppression achieved through the exploitation of power and control eventuates is integral in ensuring citizens are consumed with the structure of their day to day lives. Systematic oppression achieved through the exploitation of power and control eventuates in the victims of the suppression becoming consumed by their daily structure. << I've just fixed up the little grammatical splat with "eventuates is integral in" and have suggested a new ending. Currently, your sentence doesn't make a big person/little person comparison, or a power/victim comparison. By identifying a victim, you do just that. However, the ability of individuals to revolt against totalitarian regimes arises from their internal frustration and as well as external forces. Fritz Lang’s dystopic film, Metropolis (1927) exposes the methods employed to achieve absolutism in a dictatorial civilisation and the possibility of an uprising and eventual unity between the two classes. A comparative study with a similar prose novel, Nineteen Eighty-Four (1949), by George Orwell manifests a totalitarian civilisation, in which rebellion although present, is portrayed as futile. In both texts, individuals are reduced to mere vessels of obedience by enforcing slavery in various methods. However, each text places different focus on the attitude of citizens towards their low status in society due to the differing aims of each leadership. You've ended this introduction exactly how I hoped you would - by portraying the similarities and then the differences. You've outlined what is yet to come in your essay well, I think!

Absolute control eventuates in a self-defeated population who have no control over their freedom. This is clearly portrayed in Lang’s Metropolis, through the costuming and Lang’s choreography of the proletariats in the dystopic world of Metropolis. The uniform and robotic-like movement of the workers, who are all dressed in numbered uniforms, alludes to their lack of individuality and reveals their despondent state, as a result of Joh Frederson’s exploitation of authority successfully instilling fear in the workers. Moreover, the lack of identity of the labourers is demonstrated in the larger 10-hour working clock which overshadows the smaller 24-hour clock. This symbolises the strict schedules and systematic oppression the workers endure and the insignificance of their life in comparison to their duties in the workers’ city. This mirrors recurrences during Weimar Germany such as when inflation increased, objections against the 8-hour work day also increased. As I've highlighted with the italics, your last two sentences are just extensions of the one original idea, and don't offer anything new. Try to vary your language rather than "this *verb*" just to show your clarify of expression.Hugo Stinnes, declared the necessity to have two hours’ additional work a day if Germany was to recover. Now we are at the end of the Metropolis analysis and there is only a small section of this paragraph dedicated to textual analysis rather than explanation. I'd make it an aim to add an extra textual reference in there, flesh out the attitudes more, take away the obvious explanation of plot (about Germany), and just heighten your analysis that tiny bit more. Make it really neat and tidy. So in the two sentences that I commented on as being extensions of each other, try cut that down or combine the two into one. Likewise, the suppression of individuals due to the fear of being persecuted is evident in Nineteen Eighty-Four, through the comparison of citizens of Oceania to a bird, “They simply swallowed everything… [they] left no residue behind, just as a grain of corn will pass undigested through the body of a bird,” metaphorically revealing the extent to which the party’s control leads to the populace being incapable of understanding the lies of the government. Everything that is presented to them, despite it being the most blatant violations of reality, is accepted as they are oblivious of what the government’s true intentions. As in Metropolis, Orwell’s novel portrays the extreme regulations in place and emphasises the anxiety and fear endured by those who choose to defy Big Brother. The personification of the Big Brother poster, “It was one of the pictures… [Where]… the eyes follow you about when you move,” reveals how individuals are monitored to ensure that all rebellion is averted. This claustrophobic atmosphere reflects Stalin’s incitement of fear in those opposed to him through public executions and the Moscow “show trials.” Hence, both Lang and Orwell’s compositions reflect their contexts in order to depict the systematic oppression achieved through oligarchic regimes.  I think your analysis for 1984 is better than your Metropolis analysis. Are you more confident with the 1984 text? Or is it just that you naturally felt like filling in more detail of the plot and context for Metropolis?

Thank You!

So, the bulk of the feedback is throughout. I will make some suggestions outside though. Identify what the values, attitudes and perspectives are in these texts. The essay questions asks it of you, so make sure you give it the due time. Similarly with the idea of "despotic power." You deal with oppression and power, but not explicitly despotic power. So give that a shot too!

In terms of your integration...seamless! You've done an excellent job here, and your ideas are linking perfectly. You're definitely on track there, it's just about connecting to the question a little more now to secure the best marks! You should be really pleased with this, you've got the beginnings of a marvellous essay!
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Sahar8642

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #588 on: September 19, 2016, 07:10:31 pm »
Hey there! I'll give you some feedback in the spoiler here :)

Spoiler
So far I have written a plan to answer the Question:
Evaluate how comparative study of the intertextual perspectives, values and attitudes evident in Nineteen Eighty-Four and Metropolis display the link between despotic power and rebellion.

My Plan:
Para 1: Absolute control eventuating in the suppression of individuals and them living in fear
Para 2: The necessity of rebellion to break free from the destructive cycle of oppression- rebellion that actually occurs in each text
Para 3: The outcome of rebellion in each text- the efficiency of rebellion?  I like this plan. It's like you've set the seen with the effects of power and oppression, then you've explained how this becomes rebellion, and then what rebellion can lead to. Wonderful! As long as you are looking at the appropriate context and values for each, this is a winner.

I was wondering if someone could give me feedback on my Intro and Body para 1 and also advice on whether I should add or eliminate anything.

Systematic oppression achieved through the exploitation of power and control eventuates is integral in ensuring citizens are consumed with the structure of their day to day lives. Systematic oppression achieved through the exploitation of power and control eventuates in the victims of the suppression becoming consumed by their daily structure. << I've just fixed up the little grammatical splat with "eventuates is integral in" and have suggested a new ending. Currently, your sentence doesn't make a big person/little person comparison, or a power/victim comparison. By identifying a victim, you do just that. However, the ability of individuals to revolt against totalitarian regimes arises from their internal frustration and as well as external forces. Fritz Lang’s dystopic film, Metropolis (1927) exposes the methods employed to achieve absolutism in a dictatorial civilisation and the possibility of an uprising and eventual unity between the two classes. A comparative study with a similar prose novel, Nineteen Eighty-Four (1949), by George Orwell manifests a totalitarian civilisation, in which rebellion although present, is portrayed as futile. In both texts, individuals are reduced to mere vessels of obedience by enforcing slavery in various methods. However, each text places different focus on the attitude of citizens towards their low status in society due to the differing aims of each leadership. You've ended this introduction exactly how I hoped you would - by portraying the similarities and then the differences. You've outlined what is yet to come in your essay well, I think!

Absolute control eventuates in a self-defeated population who have no control over their freedom. This is clearly portrayed in Lang’s Metropolis, through the costuming and Lang’s choreography of the proletariats in the dystopic world of Metropolis. The uniform and robotic-like movement of the workers, who are all dressed in numbered uniforms, alludes to their lack of individuality and reveals their despondent state, as a result of Joh Frederson’s exploitation of authority successfully instilling fear in the workers. Moreover, the lack of identity of the labourers is demonstrated in the larger 10-hour working clock which overshadows the smaller 24-hour clock. This symbolises the strict schedules and systematic oppression the workers endure and the insignificance of their life in comparison to their duties in the workers’ city. This mirrors recurrences during Weimar Germany such as when inflation increased, objections against the 8-hour work day also increased. As I've highlighted with the italics, your last two sentences are just extensions of the one original idea, and don't offer anything new. Try to vary your language rather than "this *verb*" just to show your clarify of expression.Hugo Stinnes, declared the necessity to have two hours’ additional work a day if Germany was to recover. Now we are at the end of the Metropolis analysis and there is only a small section of this paragraph dedicated to textual analysis rather than explanation. I'd make it an aim to add an extra textual reference in there, flesh out the attitudes more, take away the obvious explanation of plot (about Germany), and just heighten your analysis that tiny bit more. Make it really neat and tidy. So in the two sentences that I commented on as being extensions of each other, try cut that down or combine the two into one. Likewise, the suppression of individuals due to the fear of being persecuted is evident in Nineteen Eighty-Four, through the comparison of citizens of Oceania to a bird, “They simply swallowed everything… [they] left no residue behind, just as a grain of corn will pass undigested through the body of a bird,” metaphorically revealing the extent to which the party’s control leads to the populace being incapable of understanding the lies of the government. Everything that is presented to them, despite it being the most blatant violations of reality, is accepted as they are oblivious of what the government’s true intentions. As in Metropolis, Orwell’s novel portrays the extreme regulations in place and emphasises the anxiety and fear endured by those who choose to defy Big Brother. The personification of the Big Brother poster, “It was one of the pictures… [Where]… the eyes follow you about when you move,” reveals how individuals are monitored to ensure that all rebellion is averted. This claustrophobic atmosphere reflects Stalin’s incitement of fear in those opposed to him through public executions and the Moscow “show trials.” Hence, both Lang and Orwell’s compositions reflect their contexts in order to depict the systematic oppression achieved through oligarchic regimes.  I think your analysis for 1984 is better than your Metropolis analysis. Are you more confident with the 1984 text? Or is it just that you naturally felt like filling in more detail of the plot and context for Metropolis?

Thank You!

So, the bulk of the feedback is throughout. I will make some suggestions outside though. Identify what the values, attitudes and perspectives are in these texts. The essay questions asks it of you, so make sure you give it the due time. Similarly with the idea of "despotic power." You deal with oppression and power, but not explicitly despotic power. So give that a shot too!

In terms of your integration...seamless! You've done an excellent job here, and your ideas are linking perfectly. You're definitely on track there, it's just about connecting to the question a little more now to secure the best marks! You should be really pleased with this, you've got the beginnings of a marvellous essay!

Thank You for all the feedback! :)
Fixing it up now
I was really worried about the integration as I've never done it before. Feeling much more confident now!
In regards to the analysis:
For Para 2 I was planning to do 2 techniques for metropolis and one for 1984 with in depth analysis
and for Para 3 1 technique for metropolis with in depth analysis and 2 for 1984
So they are balanced out throughout the essay. I would've done 2 for each text in each para but then the essay will become too long.
Is that ok?
Thanks again :)


Sahar8642

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #589 on: September 19, 2016, 07:16:37 pm »
Overall I liked this essay and thought this was very good. You however need to expand on some points and be more clearer throughout the essay

Well done  :)

Thank you!  :D

conic curve

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #590 on: September 19, 2016, 07:37:36 pm »

jamonwindeyer

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #591 on: September 19, 2016, 08:06:46 pm »
Thank You for all the feedback! :)
Fixing it up now
I was really worried about the integration as I've never done it before. Feeling much more confident now!
In regards to the analysis:
For Para 2 I was planning to do 2 techniques for metropolis and one for 1984 with in depth analysis
and for Para 3 1 technique for metropolis with in depth analysis and 2 for 1984
So they are balanced out throughout the essay. I would've done 2 for each text in each para but then the essay will become too long.
Is that ok?
Thanks again :)

That sounds pretty good to me balance wise!! Perhaps a goal for you over the next month or so might be to trim your essay, really make your expression concise, and get 2 of each in both paragraphs? :)

elysepopplewell

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #592 on: September 20, 2016, 12:58:22 pm »
Thank You for all the feedback! :)
Fixing it up now
I was really worried about the integration as I've never done it before. Feeling much more confident now!
In regards to the analysis:
For Para 2 I was planning to do 2 techniques for metropolis and one for 1984 with in depth analysis
and for Para 3 1 technique for metropolis with in depth analysis and 2 for 1984
So they are balanced out throughout the essay. I would've done 2 for each text in each para but then the essay will become too long.
Is that ok?
Thanks again :)

That makes more sense!!! I did this almost exact same structure for my Extension 1 essay. That'll work wonderfully I think!
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Sahar8642

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #593 on: September 20, 2016, 01:50:08 pm »
That sounds pretty good to me balance wise!! Perhaps a goal for you over the next month or so might be to trim your essay, really make your expression concise, and get 2 of each in both paragraphs? :)

Yep, for sure going to try to improve the essay.
Thanks!

wesadora

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #594 on: September 23, 2016, 04:37:57 pm »
Here is my Module B essay - T.S. Eliot poetry.

Spoiler
Question: Explore how the enduring nature of Eliot’s poetry can be attributed to Eliot’s poetic treatment of uncertainty and personal turmoil.
In your response, make detailed reference to at least TWO prescribed poems.

In a time shaped by post-war disillusionment and despondency with modern society, T.S. Eliot’s timeless poetry transcends the boundaries of his own era through the exploration of universal concepts. His poetic representation of a deteriorating modern society and the consequent ontological crisis faced by individuals of his time is represented in his poems ‘The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock’ (henceforth, ‘Love Song’) and ‘Preludes’. These works are injected with poetic expression of pessimistic attitudes, inadequacy of the individual and tedium of everyday life, in which individuals’ uncertainty and a resulting personal turmoil are communicated.

Eliot conveys a pessimistic attitude towards modern society due to its ever-changing nature and it is this reflection on change that has contributed to the enduring value of his works. Written in the form of a dramatic monologue, Prufrock’s stream of fragmented thoughts creates a sense of uncertainty towards the future. The poem opens with a pleasant image of how “the evening is spread across the sky”, strikingly juxtaposed with a cruel image of a “patient etherized”. Eliot’s use of bathos creates a sense of unfulfillment and uncertainty, further developed to be a strong despondency towards post-industrial society. This despondency is evident in his use of colourful sensory imagery, such as “the yellow fog that rubs its back” where yellow stands symbolic for being tainted with sickness and decay. Prufrock’s expression of “combing the white hair of the waves blown back” serves to mirror Prufrock’s old and weary growth, losing hope and confidence in the world through a personification of his decaying environment to be ageing along with him. In Preludes, Eliot critiques the development of urban living to be bleak and sordid. Sensory imagery of the “withered leaves about your feet” is coupled with assonance to create a sense of hollowness. Eliot approaches this wasteland of urban life with a negative attitude and lack of certainty in hope through expressing the “smell of steaks” and “burnt out smoky days”, in which urban deterioration is emphasised through the unpleasant tone and use of sibilance. Society’s failure to fulfil high expectations to thrive in the post-war industrial era has thus led Eliot to poetically express the urban deterioration that has also endured to develop today.

With the rise of psychology as a school of thought in the 20th century, personal turmoils that stem from emotional conflict is a recurring subject in Eliot’s poetry as he notices the internalised struggle of each individual. In Love Song, Prufrock suffers from an inferiority complex. His feelings of self-inadequacy is expressed in the refrain “in the room women come and go / talking about Michelangelo”. This is repeated throughout the poem to reflect the ongoing cyclical nature of his ambitions – where Michelangelo is used symbolically as a figure of great stature and intellect that Prufrock aspires to be in order to be noticed by these “women”. This personal turmoil of recognising his own self-value is magnified with the caesura of “No!” to express his deep sentiment of admitting “I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be”. Eliot alludes to Shakespeare’s ‘Hamlet’ to juxtapose the Prince’s grand significance with Prufrock’s self-inadequacy, further expressed through metatheatrical language by being a mere “attendant lord” instead. In Preludes, the persona faces the psychological uncertainty of their own identity as Eliot communicates the loss of individuality. The pretence of living luxuriously “with the other masquerades that time resumes” is highlighted against the personification of “time” being in control. The irony of luxury amidst a squalid context portrays the emptiness of modern existence and is continued with the synecdoche of “hands” to depersonalise individuals.  A sombre tone and image of “dingy shades” is also coupled with a hyperbolic representation of losing one’s identity and individuality amidst the huge community of “a thousand furnished rooms”. Eliot recognizes the depreciation and uncertainty of individual worth in a modern but decaying society as a universal human experience in the past, as well as in the present. 

Eliot chooses to exhibit aspects of life’s seemingly perpetual monotony made clear through the enduring questioning of the value of life through his works. Eliot’s Prufrock is shown to be aware of life’s triviality and exposes life’s cyclical, damaging flaws. He describes the “sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets”, threading together a sense of aimless continuity in the environment around him. The expression of having “measured” his life through “coffee spoons” is used as a metonymy for his inclination to focus on the minutiae of everyday life and represents one of many elements that cause his internal dreariness and uncertainty of life’s meaning. Furthermore, the parallelistic isocolon of “time for you and time for me” amplifies an agitation and pursuit for action in taking refuge in the certainty of time – away from the uncertainty of what the future holds. In Preludes, Eliot continues to critique the same sordid tedium of urban life. Amidst the longing to escape monotony, the persona looks to “some infinitely gentle, infinitely suffering thing”. Here, Eliot’s use of bicolon forms a pleasant image of hope in an effort of finding hope even through experiencing personal turmoil. However, the pleasant sense of hope is quickly subverted with the lifelessness in how “the worlds revolve like ancient women gathering fuel in vacant lots”. The grand image of the revolving earth is juxtaposed with futile actions of women and echoes the narrator’s personal turmoils regarding his ennui towards everyday dealings. Eliot’s consideration upon the uncertainty and failure of finding genuine meaning towards life has contributed to the enduring relevance of his poetry today.

The enduring universal concepts explored in Eliot’s poetry is reflected in his poems The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock and Preludes through critiquing the bleak deterioration of urban life. The resulting uncertainty and emotional turmoil of individuals in his era are a reflection of human experiences in coping with a dynamically developing world.  Thus, questioning the purpose of life through critical and pessimistic lens as well as delving into the psychological struggle of modern life become justifiable and are key attributes in Eliot’s poetry.


Thanks!
Subjects: 3U Maths, Adv. English, Chemistry, Geography, PDHPE

lha

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #595 on: September 25, 2016, 04:05:44 pm »
Hey so my teachers are scolding me because they dont think this essay is a top mark essay because of one of the ideas which is "identity is irrelevant after death". They think that it is stupid to talk about due to it being such an obvious thing. I dont think they are correct. I think that if I adapt the essay to the question, i will do fine but I need another opinion. Could you please mark my essay and let me know if it is in the band 5 or 6 range? Or if it belongs in band 4 or less.

Also as it is 1200 words right now, I need to cut atleast 100 words. If you have any ideas of what I can cut that would be great!

Thank you!
« Last Edit: September 28, 2016, 12:09:51 pm by lha »

Jakeybaby

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #596 on: September 25, 2016, 09:40:00 pm »
Hi,

 Here's my individual study regarding Wilde's Dorian Gray and Stevenson's Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, the question is:
How do the authors Wilde and Stevenson explore the nature of moral corruption?
Spoiler
Robert Louis Stevenson’s Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde and Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray both explore an inner evil which is inherent to humans. A focus on human morality was a typical theme for the socially aware audiences of Nineteenth Century England, and throughout this time, the intended audience were completely aware of the importance of their image and social status. Both authors challenge their audiences to consider the significance of appearance in their judgments of an individual’s worth and raise questions about whether evil or moral corruption can assume a beguiling appearance. Both Stevenson and Wilde implement structural features and techniques which are pivotal to this exploration. Stevenson’s use of alternate perspectives, epistolary sections and symbolic representations allows the audience to understand and acknowledge that corruption can be hidden in society through the significant discrepancy between Jekyll’s social appearance and his true motives. Contrastingly, Wilde portrays the physical representation of the difference between one’s exterior appearance compared to their interior through his use of minor characters and symbolism.

Both Wilde and Stevenson explore their differing opinions on the state of the moral corruption through the implementation of minor characters and description of setting. Wilde’s explicit contrast between Dorian Gray and Lord Henry Wotton allows the audience to understand the temptation which the inherent evil within us causes. Whereas, Stevenson compares the moral state of humans to the environment in which they live, hence “the provinces of good and ill which divide and compound man’s dual nature” . Dorian is profoundly influenced by Lord Wotton, as he believe that Henry has revealed him to “One of the great secrets of life” , hence both Dorian and Wotton share similar moral perceptions and thoughts regarding scenarios where the personal opinions of individuals are required. Dorian understands that these moral values are “wrong [and] poisoness”  ] yet simultaneously describes them as “fascinating [and] delightful” . As Dorian continues to become further influenced by Wotton’s philosophy, it appears and occurs to Henry that there is something “terribly enthralling in the exercise of influence” , however, Dorian is completely oblivious to the fact that Lord Wotton is not living the life that he projects. The feeling of enthrallment which Wilde exhibits through Lord Wotton results in Dorian continuing this abnormal lifestyle as Henry cannot disregard of his desire to be influential in the life of a fellow human. This authoritative personality towards Dorian contributes to his downfall, as Dorian is now obsessed with this presented philosophy and acquired egotistical demeanour. The contrasting characters of Dorian and Wotton highlight Wilde’s view that moral corruption and evil are the product of conscious decisions to fulfil one’s sybaritic desires. Contrastingly, Stevenson’s understanding of moral corruption lies in his belief of an inherent evil which exists at the core of a man’s soul as a unquestionable aspect of duality. This is most clearly expressed in the revelation that Mr. Hyde is in fact Dr. Jekyll, only transformed into a personification of Jekyll's evil characteristics. Stevenson’s use of minor characters enables him to express the common opinion on moral corruption held at the time. The repeated opinion regarding Hyde from Jekyll’s butler, Mr Poole, Mr Enfield and Utterson, who all express an “…unknown disgust, loathing and fear”  towards this figure of Mr Hyde, of whom is seen as “…hardly human [and] something troglodytic…” . These observers look upon Jekyll with the “…visible misgiving of the flesh…” , and Jekyll attempts to explain the reason as to why they observe his corrupted nature. He states in this statement of his case that “…because all human beings, as we meet them, are commingled out of good and evil; and Edward Hyde, alone, in the ranks of mankind, was pure evil” . The opinion of an outsider, Dr Lanyon, who leaves a letter, addressed to Utterson before his death, reveals the moral destruction which he faced when Hyde, produced in him “…some deep-seated terror of the mind” . This epistolary section allows Stevenson to truly reveal the impact that Hyde had on Lanyon’s physical and mental wellbeing, as Lanyon wrote “…my soul sickened… my life is shaken to its roots… I feel that my days are numbered, and that I must die; and yet I must die incredulous” . Wilde’s implementation of minor characters allows him to convey the shared opinion regarding the common perception of their Nineteenth Century audiences, that the moral corruption inherent within humans significantly affects their physicality and social view. In Wilde’s text, this role is played by the minor character, Basil Hallward. Basil is central to the text, due to the fact that Basil represents the voice of society and Wilde’s audience at the time of publication, the views of which he expressed, echoed that of the audience. Basil explains that “…Sin is a thing that writes itself across a man’s face. It cannot be concealed”  which is further emphasised  later with comment, “it shows itself in the lines of the mouth, the droop of his eyelids, the moulding of his hands even” . Upon hearing the suggested rumours of Dorian’s moral corruption, he was in disbelief, as he was uncertain as to why Dorian’s physical appearance did not reflect his corrupted soul. Throughout both The Picture of Dorian Gray and Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, Wilde and Stevenson both employed minor characters to convey their shared opinion regarding the physical and mental state of those who encounter the moral corruption and the commonly held societal view of the time. 

Both Wilde and Stevenson explore their personal beliefs that evil is inherent in humanity; however, they accentuate this moral dilapidation in different ways. Stevenson uses alternate perspective to convey Jekyll’s attempts to supress the evil aspect of his nature, expressed through Mr Edward Hyde, whereas Wilde elucidates Dorian’s egotistical narcissism which is apparent due to his exquisite beauty, through the utilisation of symbolism. The portrait of Dorian, which is illustrated by his friend, Basil  Hayward, encapsulated Dorian’s “unstained purity of his boyhood” , however, his apparent beauty would evidently become “… a visible symbol of the degradation of sin” . Dorian’s malevolent state of his soul is symbolised through the hideous transformation which the portrait was “…wrinkling”  and exhibited “[a] heavy sensual mouth…” . Wilde also uses the “large, purple satin coverlet heavily embroidered with gold”  to cover the portrait drawn by Basil, reflecting that the sins he commits will blemish its beauty just as worms blemish the body of a corpse. The cover, which is referred to as a “pall” , acknowledges the fact that this satin coverlet is the boundary between the view of society and Dorian’s moral death and “It was to hide something that had a corruption of its own, worse than the corruption of death itself” . Similarly, Jekyll’s hapless attempt to supress Hyde, results in this evil embodiment becoming festered, developing into an embodiment that is uncontrollable and overpowering, which causes greater damage to his soul and it’s “balancing instincts” . Although Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde is primarily narrated from the perspective of Jekyll’s close friend and lawyer, Mr. Gabriel John Utterson, Stevenson utilises the perspective of Jekyll throughout the final chapter, “Henry Jekyll’s Full Statement of the Case” , where the association between Jekyll and Hyde is pronounced and revealed by Jekyll. Through the use of this change of perspective, Stevenson is able to accentuate his worries towards Jekyll’s character flaws, as Jekyll comments on the murder of Sir Danvers Carew by Hyde, “My devil had been long caged, he came out roaring.”  Jekyll also explains that “when the attempt is made to cast [evil] off, it but returns upon us with more unfamiliar and more awful pressure”  Through the use of alternate perspective and symbolism, Stevenson and Wilde are able to convey their similar thoughts regarding the potential for individual attributes and qualities to exaggerate one’s immortality.

When both Wilde and Stevenson’s use of textual references are contrasted against one another, it is evident that both Wilde and Stevenson have alternating views on the nature of moral corruption and the impact on which it has on one’s appearance and the perception that they hold in the public eye. Wilde’s use of contrasting characters, between Dorian Gray and Lord Henry Wotton highlights the fact that he believes that evil is apparent due to one’s immoral values whereas Stevenson makes it clear that the evil inherent within each individual is waiting to be released through the same technique. Their mutual concern for the moral corruption which this evil causes and that all humans are cabaple of coming heinous acts is shown through Wilde’s use of the central minor character, Basil Hallward and Stevenson’s application of outsider perspective. Both Stevenson and Wilde convey the similar opinion that the fatal personal characteristics stem from the desire of approval throughout society, however, the both also refute the belief the Victorian belief that moral corruption would be publicly visible through the use of stylistic features.. Through Wilde and Stevenson’s exploration of the inescapable evil inside all, The Picture of Dorian Gray and Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde both challenge the audience to question this apparent evil, the consequences and its impact on human life.



Thankyou!
« Last Edit: September 26, 2016, 03:42:03 pm by Jakeybaby »
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jamonwindeyer

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #597 on: September 25, 2016, 10:40:03 pm »
Hey all! Lectures this weekend caused a bit of a backlog, I'm doing a mark run tomorrow so we'll be caught up then! Thanks for your patience ;D

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #598 on: September 26, 2016, 01:51:52 pm »
Just wanted to say... Wow you guys are awesome. Went to your lecture yesterday to see Adv. English and Ancient and it was epic. You guys really know your stuff. Elyse cheers, learnt so much which my teacher hasn't taught us.
So this is my essay, I wanted to know what I could fix up, could you also please incorporate a mark out of 20 you would give me. Thanks.
I also incorporated some of Elyses tips from the lecture.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Spoiler
The process of discovery involves uncovering what is hidden and reconsidering what is known.

Discovery is a process which everyone goes through, to uncover hidden abilities and differences which are experienced in various ways. ‘Life of Pi’, dramatic film captures the idea of discovering hidden abilities whilst also drawing focus to the will to live and symbols commonly used. Poem ‘Cut’, focusing on the same ideas, produces ambiguous variations and meanings towards the process of discovery. Both texts personas feature transformations where they uncover hidden agendas and reconsider what was lost and know found.

‘Life of Pi’ is a film directed by Ang Lee in 2012 focusing on the needs and passion towards survival. As Pi undergoes perilous journeys, he makes spiritual, physical and emotional discoveries. Throughout the move it is known that Pi’s religious beliefs draw on his need for survival. Whilst attempting to train Richard Parker on the life raft, to claim dominance, a long shot is used to feature both primitive characters circling while there is a contrast between the sea. This focus point of the sea elaborates on how loneliness and desperation had deprived and forces Pi’s transformation from a young anxious boy to a intrepid man. Ang Lee uses the characters stance to show how dominance plays a key role in transformation and discovering hidden abilities.

Sylvia Plaths ‘Cut’ written in 1962, targets the ambiguous audience during the 60’s who wanted to break from the women socialistic ideals. Featuring first person narration which incorporates ten stanzas, this poem elaborates on how Plaths suicidal agendas derive from constricted feelings of being an educated women in a restricted society where women were subjugated towards being housewife’s. The quote “Out of a gap, a million soldiers run” is reinforced with imagery to connect to Plaths context of her husband’s use of adultery as she felt the urge of suicide Plath constantly reconsiders what is known as she always ventured to the real of suicide. From this quote, the hyperbole elaborates on the fickleness this urge brings once it feels alright the in suddenly disperses into depression. ‘Cut’ is a mysterious poem which powerfully incorporates the will to live as well as discovering hidden potential competence.

Ang Lee addresses symbols frequently in ‘Life of Pi’ which represent various meanings that help Pi in his transformation. As Pi has a strong spiritual connection, he is able to adapt to his new environments with the help of Richard Parker. It is clearly evident that the water represents loneliness, while the life raft provides hope albeit religious faith is the main focus. The mysterious island represents the Christian Garden of Eden and Orange, a frequent colour possesses survival qualities. There is a sense of spiritual discovery from the symbolic metaphor of the tooth featured at the mysterious island. This scene incorporates Christian spiritual connections to the garden of Eden providing a heaven and hell contrast against the day and night of the island, which is alluded through the switching between long and extreme close shots. As Ang Lee highlights Pi’s adaption to discovery, he rediscovers his spiritual beliefs.

Various types of Symbols are incorporated in Plaths works which feature issues towards her troubled marriage, unresolved conflicts with parents and her personal vision of herself. The poem being an extended metaphor, entices the audience drawing ambiguous conclusions to Plaths exploration of self. Phallic Symbol is used in line two of the poem when the speaker says “My thumb instead of an onion” assassinating with male dominance which was being exhibited. The symbolic metaphor incorporated in “saboteur, Kamikaze man” uses censura to insure the power of depression and self destruction is highlighted through the kamikaze suicidal nature which was always apparent to her.

The transformation which is evident in everybody’s process of discovery, involved uncovering hidden and known desires. Through symbolism and the will to live, both texts ‘Life of Pi’ and ‘Cut’ features personas who struggle against this process, though achieve self discovery and transform to higher perspectives.

Mod Edit: Added spoiler ;D
« Last Edit: September 26, 2016, 04:09:42 pm by jamonwindeyer »
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jamonwindeyer

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #599 on: September 26, 2016, 04:11:41 pm »
Just wanted to say... Wow you guys are awesome. Went to your lecture yesterday to see Adv. English and Ancient and it was epic. You guys really know your stuff. Elyse cheers, learnt so much which my teacher hasn't taught us.
So this is my essay, I wanted to know what I could fix up, could you also please incorporate a mark out of 20 you would give me. Thanks.
I also incorporated some of Elyses tips from the lecture.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Spoiler
The process of discovery involves uncovering what is hidden and reconsidering what is known.

Discovery is a process which everyone goes through, to uncover hidden abilities and differences which are experienced in various ways. ‘Life of Pi’, dramatic film captures the idea of discovering hidden abilities whilst also drawing focus to the will to live and symbols commonly used. Poem ‘Cut’, focusing on the same ideas, produces ambiguous variations and meanings towards the process of discovery. Both texts personas feature transformations where they uncover hidden agendas and reconsider what was lost and know found.

‘Life of Pi’ is a film directed by Ang Lee in 2012 focusing on the needs and passion towards survival. As Pi undergoes perilous journeys, he makes spiritual, physical and emotional discoveries. Throughout the move it is known that Pi’s religious beliefs draw on his need for survival. Whilst attempting to train Richard Parker on the life raft, to claim dominance, a long shot is used to feature both primitive characters circling while there is a contrast between the sea. This focus point of the sea elaborates on how loneliness and desperation had deprived and forces Pi’s transformation from a young anxious boy to a intrepid man. Ang Lee uses the characters stance to show how dominance plays a key role in transformation and discovering hidden abilities.

Sylvia Plaths ‘Cut’ written in 1962, targets the ambiguous audience during the 60’s who wanted to break from the women socialistic ideals. Featuring first person narration which incorporates ten stanzas, this poem elaborates on how Plaths suicidal agendas derive from constricted feelings of being an educated women in a restricted society where women were subjugated towards being housewife’s. The quote “Out of a gap, a million soldiers run” is reinforced with imagery to connect to Plaths context of her husband’s use of adultery as she felt the urge of suicide Plath constantly reconsiders what is known as she always ventured to the real of suicide. From this quote, the hyperbole elaborates on the fickleness this urge brings once it feels alright the in suddenly disperses into depression. ‘Cut’ is a mysterious poem which powerfully incorporates the will to live as well as discovering hidden potential competence.

Ang Lee addresses symbols frequently in ‘Life of Pi’ which represent various meanings that help Pi in his transformation. As Pi has a strong spiritual connection, he is able to adapt to his new environments with the help of Richard Parker. It is clearly evident that the water represents loneliness, while the life raft provides hope albeit religious faith is the main focus. The mysterious island represents the Christian Garden of Eden and Orange, a frequent colour possesses survival qualities. There is a sense of spiritual discovery from the symbolic metaphor of the tooth featured at the mysterious island. This scene incorporates Christian spiritual connections to the garden of Eden providing a heaven and hell contrast against the day and night of the island, which is alluded through the switching between long and extreme close shots. As Ang Lee highlights Pi’s adaption to discovery, he rediscovers his spiritual beliefs.

Various types of Symbols are incorporated in Plaths works which feature issues towards her troubled marriage, unresolved conflicts with parents and her personal vision of herself. The poem being an extended metaphor, entices the audience drawing ambiguous conclusions to Plaths exploration of self. Phallic Symbol is used in line two of the poem when the speaker says “My thumb instead of an onion” assassinating with male dominance which was being exhibited. The symbolic metaphor incorporated in “saboteur, Kamikaze man” uses censura to insure the power of depression and self destruction is highlighted through the kamikaze suicidal nature which was always apparent to her.

The transformation which is evident in everybody’s process of discovery, involved uncovering hidden and known desires. Through symbolism and the will to live, both texts ‘Life of Pi’ and ‘Cut’ features personas who struggle against this process, though achieve self discovery and transform to higher perspectives.

Mod Edit: Added spoiler ;D

Hey hey!! Awesome to hear that you enjoyed the lectures, I'll make sure Elyse sees this, are you coming to any of the HSC Revision lectures next weekend? ;D

As I mentioned in the AoS Thread, you do need 15 posts per essay to get feedback. This is just to ensure that the markers don't get swamped, otherwise we'd be giving one line feedback (which isn't helpful to anyone) ;)

Hang around the site a bit, I bet you'll get 15 in no time! You'll also just have to let us know which of the two essays you've posted you want us to start with ;D