Essay question: How do the texts explore individual’s transitions into a
new phase of life and social context?Among many texts, the transitions of individuals into new phases of life and social context are conveyed through the development of characterisation and their interactions within their worlds. Willy Russel’s play “Educating Rita” unmasks Rita and Frank’s transitions by portraying their interactions as a challenge that causes a change in relationships,
in which
it leads to their new social context of freedom and choice.
Just took two tiny words out of this to make it flow smoother 
The slam poetry “Capital Letters” articulated by Omar Musa
Unique text choice! further explores the complexity of transitions into
a new phase of life through presenting its existence only by spontaneity discovery, leading to a new social context that influences him to catalyse change within his society. Hence, the transition into a new phase of life and social context is unveiled through the respective character’s development and interactions within their society.
I like this, you've got a lot of ideas happening here and I've got little criticism to offer!Russell’s “Educating Rita” unravels the concept of transitioning into a new phase of life through Rita and Frank’s interaction within worlds as an impact to their existing relationships.
Just a small wording issue at the end of this sentence that lets down your argument by clouding it. Perhaps try, "through Rita and Frank's interaction with a world that impacts their existing relationships." Admittedly, I still don't think this is entirely clear, I'm a little hazy on the idea you're putting forward. Rita initialises this as she unintentionally alludes to the historical event of the Holocaust in which the Nazis, “burnt all the books” Pg. 32.
Unless your teacher has advised you to do this, page numbers wouldn't be necessary. They aren't necessary in the HSC exam, so unless your teacher requires it for internal tasks, I'd drop it. Depending on which version of the book you have, the page numbers will be different, so the purpose is defeated. This denotes her dialogue to Denny’s reluctance to embrace Rita’s relationships with the academia and working class worlds simultaneously.
Nice sentence. Hence, demonstrating the notion of women’s inferiority in the 1980s as a dominating factor in its social context acting as a barrier into her new phase of life that negatively impacts the harmonies in her relationships. Furthermore, Rita rebuts to Frank’s response to, “be yourself” Pg. 44 and uses an asyndeton,
I think "uses an asyndeton" decreases the sophistication of your sentence. I'd try to shorten the quote if you can, or find a way to embed it with the last quote "be yourself" without saying the words "quote" or "excerpt" or identify the technique. The next sentence flows on perfectly without you identifying asyndeton earlier. “some stupid woman who gives us all a laugh because she thinks she can learn, because one day she’ll be like the rest of them, talking seriously” Pg. 45. The asyndeton heightens the tempo of the moment in order to demonstrate her stress in her emotional insecurity,
YASSS, great analysis. illustrating the hardships of acceptance and conformity when phasing into a new lifestyle. Thus, reveals her change in relationships within herself from acceptance to unpleasant and pretentious.
This sentence is flawless: You identify the technique, identify the effect, and link it to the question. Super smooth, super effective. The stage direction, “They go towards the door” Pg. 38
Perhaps instead of a page number, you'd benefit from identifying the scene. Again, it's not a requirement, but when I used such tiny little passages I tried to identify the placement. Perhaps, "The stage direction in the kissing scene" (I made that scene up) will be what you need to ground that quote. ,
utilises is expressed in the third person pronoun
in which I think you have a habit of saying "in which"...be conscious about using it. It doesn't add to your sophistication and adds a little hiccup to what could otherwise be a smooth sentence. Usually, "which" will be fine where you have written "in which" it places the responders to perceive unity between the two characters. Through the conjunction of the responder’s perspective and the character's
possessive apostrophe required in character's...approach to the door on stage, it becomes a symbol for their initial step to greater impact towards their change in their individual relationships. That is, Rita to resolve relationship in her social relationships and Frank to embark on his change with literature. This also establishes Frank’s office as a world in which Rita begins to transition and hence, the stage directions simultaneously emulates a metaphor for Rita emphatic catalyst to her transition. Therefore, the exploration of transitions through the character’s interactions in “Educating Rita” enable the portrayal of the phasing into a new life as impactful to their relationships.
Strong argument! Everything is well supported. Similarly, the characters interactions in “Educating Rita” are a way to unveil the consequence of the transition into new social contexts for their ability to embrace freedom and choice. Rita’s dialogue presents an asyndeton as she describes that she, “had a great time, [staying] up all night, talking, [going] all around London, [getting] drunk, [going] to the theatres”, Pg. 49. This in effect increases the tempo in her dialogue in which it creates tension between the responders and within the play. This enables the showcase of her ability to practice free will and choice due to her transition that deepen her understanding of literature, thereby expanding her world in which she takes on to outlive the traditional values of the 1980s society. The subjective line spoken by Rita that “[she] felt young” Pg. 51 establishes the metaphor of being “young”. Thus, it simplifies the nature of her new social context that brings about youthfulness with endless opportunities that allow the experience for choice and freedom.
We've talked about a metaphor being established, but that reads a bit weakly to me. Is it an ongoing metaphor that holds great significance? Because currently, it doesn't even look like a metaphor to me, it just looks like she's literally saying she felt young. Perhaps, you could talk about the connotations of young, I think that suits better. But I'm happy to have the metaphor explained more if that is the most suitable technique. During the closing of the play, Frank gifts Rita “a dress” in turn Rita insists to “take ten years off” Pg. 73, Frank. These two gifts and exchanges both symbolise what they have given each other – that is, Frank has given Rita education and the authentic experience of change whilst Rita offers Frank the foundation for his transition.
Great analysis. Both thereby, coming in terms to result in harmonisation between freedom and choice in their social contexts. Thus, the interactions of Frank and Rita demonstrate transitions into a new social context as a venture to embrace freedom and choice in order to excel in their society as individuals.
Omar Musa’s slam poetry “Capital Letters” shifts ways in which it conveys the individual’s transitions into a new phase, hence expressing it through the portrayal of its existence only by spontaneity discovery. Musa utilises repetition in conjunction with a crescendo as he articulates; “yet somehow, somehow, I found something”. This in effect creates tension between responders and Musa himself, in order to emulate the moment of spontaneity discovery and the progressive unravelling of the ambiguous “something” that suggests the phenomenon of phasing into a new life. Further to this, Musa reveals the result of his discovery in which he ventures into a world of “underground kings & queens who taught us the power of our voices, of nonconformity”. Musa’s intentional first person pronoun and intense word choice of “power” and “nonconformity” heightens the existence of discovery that allowed Musa to be in a phase of leadership and change. Thus, upbringing the notion for the responders’ “nonconformity” to bring their “power” into their life in order to subvert government’s beliefs towards people as “statistics”, only then they are able to experience the transition into new phase in life.
Nice embedding of little quotes, it flows well. Moreover, Musa’s approach to utilise the two and three syllable words and asyndeton creates a smooth, pleasing rhythm as he speaks, “syphoning El Haji Malik El Shabazz., Jimblahs, Deltas & Brad Struts, Ozi Batlas,, Hilltops & Horrorshows, Def Wish Casts & Koolisms”. Musa deliberately engages this as its cohesive use allows the responders to easily formulate a vivid image of the numberless artists and culture in which it emulates the endless discovery of music and culture. This implies the forces within the discovery of music and culture as the catalyst to Musa’s individual transition into the new phase of life. Thus, in Omar’s Musa slam poetry “Capital Letters” he conveys the transitions into a new phase of life through expressing its existence only by spontaneity discovery that ventures into different pathways of opportunity and choice.
Likewise, “Capital Letters” exhibits Musa’s progression into his new social context in which he manifests this through his desire to catalyse a form of transition within the responders. Musa’s line, “So… linger now, linger with me” initially pauses on “so”. This acts as an auditory rest for the responders, which in effect enables a moment of intimacy with Musa. Hence, Musa accomplishes a sense of leadership shown through his decrescendo in his speech suggesting control and adherence that further demonstrates Musa’s intention and desire to present the journey of the transition into social context that consist of freedom and acceptance. In addition, Musa’s metaphor, “weave your stories into nets, drag them behind zig sagging decks” is spoken with a similar syllable count (?) in which it creates a flowing and smooth rhythm, replicating the metaphor’s visual imagery that denotes to the easiness for the responders to eliminate their previous mindsets and beliefs suggesting that they are not necessary for transitions. Hence, through the auditory imagery that triggers the responder’s visual sensory it entices their desire to advance into a new social context. Musa’s confident(?) tone as he addresses that “we are more than ‘your dreams are unrealistic’… this is the new scripture of our lives”. First person pronoun accentuates the inclusiveness between Musa and the responders in order to form a relationship, suggesting commonality. This strengthens the superlative comparison (?) that displays the ability for the responder’s to transform their bleak perspective of life to view it as dynamical and exhilarating. Hence, accompanied by the high modality language evident in present tense of “this is” exhibits urgency for change,
Good piggybacking of techniques! emphasising the need for the responder’s role to change their social contexts to successively subvert conformists’ approach to life. Therefore, through Musa’s craftsmanship he is able to express his desire to catalyse change in which it has become his approach to illustrate the complexity of transitioning into a new social context.
In summary,
I know some people say it's fine, but I personally try to avoid phrases like "to summarise," "In summary," "In conclusion..." Because I think that usually whatever comes next, can stand on its own. And in this situation, your sentence could definitely stand alone without it it is concluded that the characterisation’s development and interactions within their world has evidently contributed to the depiction of the transitions into a new phase of life and social contexts. Willy Russell’s play “Educating Rita” manifests Frank and Rita to engage on ideas that transitions into a new phase of life can impact relationships in which their new social contexts allow them embrace freedom and choice. On the other hand, Omar Musa’s slam poetry “Capital Letters” encapsulates the progression into a new phase to be present only by discovery conjunctionally with a new social context that leads to a desire for change. Overall, it is satisfied that among texts exploring transitions establishes new beliefs and values.
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Topic: English Standard Essay Marking (Read 129379 times)