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October 27, 2020, 07:34:54 pm

Author Topic: Year 11 Legal Studies- Argumentative Essay  (Read 393 times)

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3eiffeltower

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Year 11 Legal Studies- Argumentative Essay
« on: September 02, 2020, 11:25:06 am »
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Was wondering if anyone could provide some draft feedback for my legal studies essay. An argumentative essay discussing the duty of care journalism employers have for their employees, regarding the traumatic events that journalists witness in the workplace. If you need any other information about the task let me know and I will happily upload the task sheet ect. Thanks!!!!! 

JerryMouse2019

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Re: Year 11 Legal Studies- Argumentative Essay
« Reply #1 on: September 04, 2020, 07:58:28 pm »
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Was wondering if anyone could provide some draft feedback for my legal studies essay. An argumentative essay discussing the duty of care journalism employers have for their employees, regarding the traumatic events that journalists witness in the workplace. If you need any other information about the task let me know and I will happily upload the task sheet ect. Thanks!!!!!

I'm doing an argumentative essay as well for legal studies but I've been told that I don't need a title page, title, headings and subheadings as this is an essay not an investigative research report (however, I think you should check this with your teacher as you may have different requirements for your assignment). Your analysis of the CLA 2003 (Qld) is in-depth enough which is good. You've explained your legal principles/concepts/processes well. Your paragraph structure is also good. I can't seem to think of anything that you would need to fix other than maybe trying to shorten your word length (I'm assuming your word limit is 1500-2000 words).
« Last Edit: September 04, 2020, 08:05:40 pm by JerryMouse2019 »
QCE Class of 2021: English | General Maths | Business | Economics | Legal Studies | Digital Solutions

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literally lauren

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Re: Year 11 Legal Studies- Argumentative Essay
« Reply #2 on: September 05, 2020, 08:42:05 am »
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^^Thank you JerryMouse for the subject-specific advice! I don't know what the requirements of the task are, so it's very useful to hear from someone else studying Year 11 Legal!

I've left some comments throughout your essay, but overall this is a fantastic report. You have a very clear and logical writing style that enables you to communicate ideas efficiently and effectively. In particular, as JerryMouse said, your paragraph structure is excellent as you introduce concepts, explain them, and then discuss their significance before linking to the next idea. This might sound super obvious to you, but trust me when I say it's a rare skill! (Most people struggle with this well into university, so the fact that you can write this well in Year 11 is extremely impressive! :D)

Most of these comments are just small sentence structure/phrasing things, and there are a few places where I've recommended adding a bit more detail, but if you're already at the word count, don't worry about it, as I can't see anything glaring that you've missed. This is a really well-written and well-argued analysis that was interesting to read. Hope you're enjoying Legal Studies as it certainly seems like a strong subject for you! :)

3eiffeltower

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Re: Year 11 Legal Studies- Argumentative Essay
« Reply #3 on: September 06, 2020, 05:02:59 pm »
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Thanks so much for your feedback everyone! I really appreciate it. I still have to remove headings ect for the final upload but thought I should keep them until I upload it to avoid confusion of my different sections. I will be sure to take everyone's advice, thanks so much.