Login | Register

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

July 12, 2020, 09:55:21 pm

Author Topic: Advanced English (Linking back to question)  (Read 309 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Matth3wliu

  • Adventurer
  • *
  • Posts: 12
  • Respect: 0
Advanced English (Linking back to question)
« on: May 25, 2020, 10:18:14 pm »
0
Hey all,

I have noticed I'm not doing a great job of linking back to the question, could some please give me some feed back on how I could improved

"All human beings have an innate need to hear and tell stories to have a story to live by"
Evaluate the statement in relation to your prescribed text

Storytelling extend beyond its purpose of entertainment, offering the audience an opportunity to discover the world around them. During Jackie and Tony's heated conversation, Billy plays his mother's theme song on the piano. The aural motif is symbolic of Billy's fixation to his passed mother. His reluctance to move on from the past evokes a frustrated response from Jackie, as he slams the piano. This suggests that Jackie's have been largely consumed by the grief of his wife's passing and inability to provide nurturance for his children. After realizing Billy's potential of escaping the deprived and confined world of Durham through Ballet, Jackie undergoes a transition. Inspired by the supportive nature of Billy's mom, Jackie surrenders his 'bad faith' of succumbing to the toxic masculine views inherent in mining communities during the 1980s and begins to support Billy's passion. The extreme close-up shot highlights the sentimental value of Jenny's jewellery for Jackie, as it symbolised the strong relationship that the family once had. Jackie ultimately sacrifices the last remaining memories of his wife by pawning the jewellery in order to raise money for Billy. This plays an significant role in Jackie's development as he accepts Jenny's demise and begins to provide the support that Billy missed as a teenager, as a true father. By doing so, Jackie is able to understand and reconnect with his sons. This is evident through the medium shot of Billy and Jackie sitting next to each other on the wooden fencing. Daldry has consciously chosen to shoot the scene at the grass field adjacent to Jenny's grave, incorporating diegetic sounds of bird chirping that suggests a harmonious mood to emphasis the restored relationship within the Elliot family. In Billy Elliot, Daldry portrays the collective experience of loss through the story of the Elliot family. Through which, we see positive outlooks from a negative experience where the Elliot's are relinquished from the torment of loss and develop a stronger bond.

angewina_naguen

  • HSC Lecturer
  • Moderator
  • Part of the furniture
  • *****
  • Posts: 1048
  • Musical Theatre Tragic And Ultimate Pun Generator
  • Respect: +823
Re: Advanced English (Linking back to question)
« Reply #1 on: May 26, 2020, 09:32:08 am »
+5
Hey, Matt3wliu!

To link back to the question you need to do two things. Firstly, you should use the key words of the question. These should be integrated throughout the response to make sure you're addressing the demands of the question, and the module more broadly, but they're particularly crucial to demonstrating to your marker that you are consciously engaging with the ideas being proposed in the essay, rather than writing up a pre-prepared response. In this case, your question is referring to the "storytelling illuminates particular lives and cultures" statement in the rubric so you'll need to use words like "narrative", "stories", "lives", "cultures" and "experiences" to effectively link back.

The other aspect of linking requires you to make suggestions at what the text's impact is on our own understanding of the human experience. Having "we" or "the audience" can signpost for your marker that you're aiming to highlight the importance of the text when studied through the lens of the module. Here's an example below of how you could link back with another sentence at the end of this paragraph you've written here: Therefore, Billy Elliot grants the audience access to its poignant and yet compelling representations of loss, those of which employ storytelling to illuminate its narrative on the human experience. As you can see, I incorporated the key words of the question and proposed the effect the text has on the audience. Hope this helps and let me know if you have any further questions!

Angelina  ;D

-HSC 2018-

-ATAR-
97.50

-UNI 2019-2022-
Bachelor of Music (Music Education) at the Sydney Conservatorium of Music

Matth3wliu

  • Adventurer
  • *
  • Posts: 12
  • Respect: 0
Re: Advanced English (Linking back to question)
« Reply #2 on: May 28, 2020, 08:49:39 pm »
0
Hey angewina_naguen

Thank you for the feedback, that was really helpful. Just one small thing. Could you give an example of how I can effectively make the link like you have done, throughout the body paragraph?

angewina_naguen

  • HSC Lecturer
  • Moderator
  • Part of the furniture
  • *****
  • Posts: 1048
  • Musical Theatre Tragic And Ultimate Pun Generator
  • Respect: +823
Re: Advanced English (Linking back to question)
« Reply #3 on: May 29, 2020, 12:50:10 pm »
+2
Hey angewina_naguen

Thank you for the feedback, that was really helpful. Just one small thing. Could you give an example of how I can effectively make the link like you have done, throughout the body paragraph?

Hey, Matth3wliu!

Not a problem at all! If this helps, think of your analysis with a TEAA plan. You have your technique, explanation, analysis and audience link. If we were to take an example from your body paragraph, you could have the following:

Technique, Explanation-The aural motif is symbolic of Billy's fixation to his passed mother. His reluctance to move on from the past evokes a frustrated response from Jackie, as he slams the piano.
Analysis-This suggests that Jackie's have been largely consumed by the grief of his wife's passing and inability to provide nurturance for his children,
Audience- immersing the audience in the underlying tragedy in Daldry's cinematic storytelling.

You could have this as a separate sentence but I think it works perfectly fine as a transition from your analysis. As you can see, it incorporates the key words of the question and effectively links back to the "storytelling" idea of the rubric. Hope that helps and let me know if you have any further questions!

Angelina  ;D

-HSC 2018-

-ATAR-
97.50

-UNI 2019-2022-
Bachelor of Music (Music Education) at the Sydney Conservatorium of Music

Matth3wliu

  • Adventurer
  • *
  • Posts: 12
  • Respect: 0
Re: Advanced English (Linking back to question)
« Reply #4 on: May 30, 2020, 11:56:41 am »
+1
Thank you so much again, this was really helpful!