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October 30, 2020, 06:08:15 pm

Author Topic: help meee  (Read 170 times)

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help meee
« on: February 15, 2020, 12:53:06 pm »
i have this assessment
Using your knowledge of textual adaptation, you are to compose an imaginative piece of writing using ‘Voices in the Park’ by Anthony Browne as your stimulus.
Read and view the illustrated novel ‘Voices in the Park’ to explore ideas in your imaginative text of 800 – 1200 words. (15%)
A link to ‘Voices in the Park’
Compose an evaluative commentary reflecting on the decisions you have made in creating this adaptation, including the form, style and literary techniques you have used to develop your ideas and fulfil your purpose. This evaluation should be between 400-450 words. (5%)

this is my quick write up of part one.. very basic sorry
I had a new car, a Mercedes, a beautiful machine. I would sink with pleasurable ease into the soft leather seat, my fingers rested immaculately on the steering wheel and the best bit, oh, the best bit was the accelerator. The slightest touch of this beautiful pedal and the whole car would omit a powerful roar and fly forward as if shot from a canon. The sense of euphoria I felt every time I put my foot down was second to none. That car was my pride and joy.

It was on the way to pick up Charles from school that it happened. I got dressed in my very best, stiffly pressed dress and strode into the garage, where I was blinded by my shining Mercedes. I slid into the car, the garage door opened as always and at my command the car crept confidently out of the garage and down the long driveway. I glanced in the rear vision mirror at my magestic home and despite myself could not help smile, perhaps a little conceitedly.

 I was cruising through the country hills with profound ease, when I rounded a bend and stopped. What lay before me was a very long straight of road, a most brilliant and daring thought had entered my head; let’s see how fast this beautiful machine can go. I backed up to the very end of the corner that I had just come around, I took a couple of deep breaths and pushed my polished shoe flat to the floor. The Mercedes echoed out a perfectly dangerous roar and shot forward as if it had been stung.
The rate at which it reached 100km/h was astounding. The speed continued to rise, 110, 120, the surrounding countryside became a blur. 130, 140, my hand gripped the steering wheel tightly as a bead of sweat made its way down my forehead. 150, what was that, some sort of creature, probably a kangaroo, had moved out onto the middle of the road in the fast approaching distance. I slammed on my brakes and my fingers dug deeply into the steering wheel. The tires squealed out in protest as it slid closer and closer to the creature. I shut my eyes waiting for the collision. But it never came. The Mercedes came to a stop. I sat, stunned and completely out of breath, my heart was thumping loudly against my chest. The smoke and smell of burnt tires caused me to cough and splutter. I climbed out onto the road and inspected the car for any damage, there was none, save the tires were a tad bald. I walked over to the side of the road to see if there was any sign of the creature, it had disappeared. Shaking I clambered back into the car and started off again, my eyes glued to the road ahead for anymore kangaroos.

‘Ow are ya missus’ I jumped in shock and spun round to see who had spoken. In the passenger seat, right beside me sat the creature. His face was hidden behind a forest of facial hair, any skin that was visible was dark and grimy. His large overcoat was dirty and the smell of burning tires was soon replaced with an equally unpleasant smell. The one thing that stood out differently to the rest of his dirty body was his eyes, they were bright blue, large, innocent eyes, that had a magical glow about them. I don’t know whether it was his eyes, or my mother’s values that had been drilled into me, that stopped me from stopping the car and throwing him out. 
‘thanks for stopping for me mate,’ he continued
I was still stunned at his sudden frightening appearance,e ‘well I, I, I didn’t, I mean I … well,’ I stuttered.
‘twas very kindly of ya,’ he grunted.
‘No problem,’ I sighed.
He smiled, showing the few teeth that he had left, “never been in a machine like this before” he stated. Then he reached out his grimy hand and ran his finger over the dash in front of him in fascination.
I threw out my hand, ‘don’t touch anything’ I yelled
He withdrew his hand, ‘ok mate; ok!’
We sat in silence for a while. I was watching him out of the corner of my eye I could see his eyes growing as he looked around the car.
 ‘What’s that?’ he suddenly said, pointing to a light on the dashboard.
‘That tells me that the car is in sport’s mode,’ I replied.
‘intrestin, intrestin,’ he said.
We sat in silence again for a couple of minutes, then he spoke again, slowly and thoughtfully.
‘What is sport’s mode?’
I sighed, ‘sports mode makes the car faster,’ I snapped, ‘it increases the torque and makes the acceleration faster.’
‘Interestin, interestin,’ he replied while looking at me in absolute amazement and wonder.
We were still cruising through the countryside, and as I glanced at my unlikely companion he was stroking his beard and staring thoughtfully at the GPS on the screen.
‘What’s that?’ he asked again, pointing at the screen.
‘that,’ I said ’is the satellite navigation’
‘Intrestin, intrestin,’ he replied again.
There was silence as he continued to stare at the screen deep in thought.
‘What does the..’ he started
‘It shows us where we are,’ I interrupted impatiently.
He looked at me again, his big eyes lost in fascination and then he sat silently staring at the road in front of the car. He sat like this for several minutes.
‘What’s that?’ he suddenly said again, this time pointing out the front to the Mercedes badge sticking up on the bonnet of the car.
I was beginning to get a bit fed up of his stupid questions, ‘That’ replied, ‘is for aiming up so I can hit dumb hitchhikers.’
‘Oh’ he replied, doubtfully.
We sat in silence again, flying along the road, then he suddenly cried out, ‘there missus, over there!’
He was pointing excitedly into the distance on side of the road. I looked over where he was pointing. A large kangaroo was sitting on the side of the road.
‘Go on missus,’ he yelled, his voice full of ecstasy ‘go get him!’
I thought it was no harm in getting him a bit excited, so I pretended to line him up in the badge and started toward him. The man beside me started giggling, his eyes had really lit up now as we got closer and closer to the animal.
He was shouting with pure elation, ‘Get him woman, go, go, go!’ then just as we were about to hit the kangaroo I swerved to miss it.
There was a loud bang. The car spun out of control and flew off the road and through a fence and into a paddock.
 We came to a stop in the paddock, a few goats stared as if in a daze. Smoke poured from beneath the bonnet and there was an unhealthy whirring sound. I sat there is absolute shock, then he spoke, with an air of satisfaction,
‘You missed him missus, so I got him with the door.’

Who is the idiot?

NOW this is the part I was seeeking help for
this is the main section from my reflection:
In my short story I have written from the perspective of Charles’ wealthy mother. The vagrant fellow’s low level of knowledge of the ostentatious nature of the Mercedes causes the arrogant woman to complete a foolish act, resulting in a humiliating experience. From this story the reader can gain that regardless of your socio-economic status your intellect is not contingent on whether you are a Mercedes drive. I have utilized my plot structure to develop the characters and their differences. I have introduced the story with the visual imagery of the luxurious Mercedes, ‘I would sink with pleasurable ease into the soft leather seat’, this emphasizes Charles’ Mother’s wealth and amplifies her self-satisfaction. Throughout the rising action I have utilized sensory imagery to build tension, ‘the tires squealed out in protest’ the personification of the squealing tires sparks the readers imagination to convey an image of the car coming to a dramatic stop. Charles’ mother is then sprung upon by the poor fellow, this is the climax. I have utilized dialogue to surprise the reader, ‘Ow are ya missus’ this not only shocks the Mercedes driver but also leaves the reader in wonder as to who had spoken. Through the use of imagery, I have illustrated his appearance to the reader, ‘a forest of facial hair’, the alliteration demonstrates how the wealthy woman immediately conceives him as a wild and undomesticated man. I have then developed another rising action in which I have repeatedly utilized questioning dialogue to demonstrate the innocent curiosity of the vagrant, ‘‘What’s that?’ he asked again’ This creates a deceptive undercurrent that hints to the reader of his innocence because of his lack of experience of the luxuries in the Mercedes. I then finish the story with an abrupt climax which leaves the reader pondering over the rhetorical question, ‘who is the idiot?’ This encourages the reader realise that because of the women’s arrogance she has caused a situation where she has crashed the Mercedes and has therefore entitled herself to a humiliating experience. Through the use of the plot structure the reader is encouraged to see the impact of the vagrant man’s innocent curiosity which causes the growth of character in Charles’ mother from arrogance to humility.