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February 24, 2020, 07:22:59 am

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pm_me_ur_eggs

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« on: January 25, 2020, 12:46:14 am »
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« Last Edit: February 08, 2020, 03:26:04 pm by pm_me_ur_eggs »

DrDusk

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Re: Feeling suicidal and hopeless due to unfair English circumstances
« Reply #1 on: January 25, 2020, 01:19:31 am »
+4
    I've been stressing about this for almost the entirety of the break period and it's chipping away at my soul every time I think about it. Why in the absolute f*** do they have to make English compulsory to graduate? Every time I think about this statement, the reality of it, the
absurdity of it, and how it's going to affect me makes me either want to jump in front of a truck or slaughter whoever made this rule. It is absolutely retarded. I hear the same excuses every time. "It's essential", "It's beneficial", "It's going to teach you important skills", "What's the point of getting a job if you can't properly express yourself" yadda yadda bullsh**.

I've tried numerous times to try and understand it, but then I think of the first SAC that we have to do this year, which is to write a TIMED creative piece about some random book. What is the f****** point of making it timed? A creative response is meant to be assessed on it's quality, rather than how fast you can sh*t out one, and setting a timer on it completely ignores the objective. And even if you say, "it's to see how fast you can sh*t out a GOOD one", why would that still f****** matter in the first place?

The point of whether or not doing English would be "beneficial" in the future is completely subjective. Apart from oral presentations (which is a whole other problem), throughout Year 7 to Year 11, I've managed to get average 80s on SACs, with a couple of 90s on exams. I'd say I can handle myself when it comes to writing. However, the sheer act of it is akin to ramming my f****** head into a wall repeatedly until I find the correct words to start a bloody "topic sentence" or "linking sentence". This is mainly due to the fact that I despise the topics that I have to write about (The Great Gatsby can go f*** itself). One of the things that my teachers liked to question was "how was I going to get a job". I am not going to have a hard time communicating about things I am interested in, and in this case, I want to pursue audio engineering. And bizarrely, in the same breath they praise me about my writing skills. Obviously this is going to be different for everyone. If someone is failing SACs left and right, then obviously they need to get their sh** together.

Most, if not all university courses will have a Year 12 certificate as one of it's prerequisites. But guess what, bad at English? You can say goodbye to your future. It is absolutely ludicrous and asinine that one's future DEPENDS on whether or not they pass this stupid subject in high school. I seriously want to die every night thinking about this, I'm f****** done with life. Oh but "the world won't end if you don't graduate", "your life isn't ruined", "there's more options". Well no one wants to be that guy that didn't pass Year 12. Sure you have your tradies, but that's because some of them don't WANT to pass Year 12, and are completely comfortable with their position. Some pressure comes from my family. They won't be that mad if I fail, however they are definitely going to be disappointed. But most of the pressure comes from me. I want to be the first person to complete high school. I want to go "hey, I'm not completely incompetent" (not that you're incompetent if you don't graduate, but more to please myself and general people). I don't want to be that guy that didn't graduate but has to make up the excuse every time that "I couldn't be f***** with English". Yes, I know that is completely the wrong mentality, however I don't see any other choice.

Audio engineering is considered a TAFE related area of study, so which is also associated with some negative stigma. "Oh you don't actually go to university?" (although you may entirely disagree, this is a factor that seriously affects me).
Luckily, RMIT has some dedicated AE pathways that do not require a Year 12 certificate, so saying "I got to RMIT" is better than "I'm taking a TAFE course".

I have considered several options:

  • suck it up, suffer, have extremely bad attitudes towards school, treat myself like sh**, develop sh**** mental health, and complete Year 12 with English.
  • Drop out, continue pursuing my career, realize I'm a complete mess, suffer, treat myself like sh**, develop sh**** mental health, and kill myself.
  • Kill myself and be forever free from the stress.


English Language is not an option, as although it teaches different skills. I took a look at an exam and I cbf with it either

This post has been completely useless and nothing can be done to solve this situation (other than somehow bypassing doing English). I just wanted to rant since this has been killing me for 6 months.[/list]
Hi there!

I know what you mean and I completely agree with you. This was pretty much me, except I didn't allow it to take over my life. I hated English a LOT but is it worth it being suicidal over something that will finish literally at the end of year 12? You have a LOOOONG life ahead of you, don't let one small thing influence you that much to the point where you are suicidal. If you think it will 'ruin' your atar just remember there are SOO many ways into university. My friend dropped out of high school in year 11, didn't even get a HSC and guess what now he's studying Cyber-security at UTS which is pretty much the EXACT same thing as me.

Also remember your life is NOT to prove yourself to others or even society in general. Do not care what your friends or people you know think about you not completing the HSC for example or getting a 'lower' atar than them. It's YOUR life NOT theirs. You don't have to make any excuse, you don't even have to explain yourself to anyone, there is no such obligation. If your friends of people you meet make fun of you because you go to TAFE they're the wrong people to be around. Care less about what society thinks of you and care more about what you think of yourself because that's what matters. =) If you think your in a bad spot, work really hard and try, if you don't do as well as you hoped? at least you improved!

As for your family being disappointed, look my family was disappointed with my 95+ atar, does it really matter? I couldn't care in the least what anyone thinks of my Atar or marks.

Lastly I FAILED an English task in the HSC for English and ended up with a final mark of 85. Never lose hope, if I would've just given up then and not prepared hard for the HSC then I would've gotten a band 4 for English and this is English standard by the way.

Remember don't let such a small part of your life upset you this much. You have many years ahead of you. A year from now when your in my position no one will ever even ask you about the HSC because truly no one cares after highschool.

All the best of luck!
« Last Edit: January 25, 2020, 03:55:43 pm by DrDusk »
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Re: Feeling suicidal and hopeless due to unfair English circumstances
« Reply #2 on: January 25, 2020, 08:27:00 am »
+6
Hey,

First of all I'm sorry you're going through this. It sounds like English is a very significant stressor for you and that your anxieties around it are really hard to cope with.  My advice here is going to be two-fold: Firstly - and most importantly - it's best if you can work on things to improve your wellbeing, secondly  I'll talk about VCE English and the role that has.

I'm not going to tell you should have a positive attitude towards English or that you shouldn't care about failing year 12 - it makes sense for those things to matter to you and for you to have strong feelings about them. However, in your current mental state you have amplified these concerns to be equivalent to your life when your life is so much more valuable than this. Having a mental state like that is hard & draining & I wouldn't wish it on anyone so I hope that you please seek help. You can do things to promote protective factors for wellbeing like getting enough sleep & having a healthy diet but as I'm sure you known it's not exactly *eats 1 carrot* "wow thanks I'm cured". That's why I hope you reach out to other people who can help support you through this. Ideally, that would include a professional (which you may or may not be already seeing). It's also important to maintain other social connections and supports. I'm hardly a professional but feel free to pm me anytime & I'll listen and answer as best as I can.

Now, onto English. To pass English you don't need to do well you just need to show evidence to your teacher of meeting the learning outcomes. This is the case whether or not you're doing unscored. What you can do to provide evidence of meting the outcomes should be a discussion you have with your teacher if you are concerned this won't be evident in your SACs. Getting less than 25 isn't ideal but it doesn't mean you've failed.  I have a friend who wrote 1 sentence on their English exam & got a study score of 3 in English. Good study score? No. Did they pass? Yes.  Did they get an ATAR? Yes (this was a few years ago so I can't remember exactly but I'm pretty sure it was >50). Point is,  you don't have to do well to pass. If English is going to be that distressing for you maybe focusing on passing rather than getting a good score will take some of the pressure off.


Best of luck & I hope the difficulties you're facing ease up soon.

J_Rho

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Re: Feeling suicidal and hopeless due to unfair English circumstances
« Reply #3 on: January 25, 2020, 12:40:25 pm »
+5
Hey,

I can really relate to the stressors of school and we are all here for you - if it all gets a little too much remember you can contact eHeadspace where you can talk with a clinician over the internet, they also have some awesome little blog posts as well like this one
ReachOut is another fantastic site with a whole section related to school which can be found here

In regards to Audio Engineering, Collarts has a "Bachelor of Audio Engineering' but after 2 trimesters you get a diploma. Many students actually drop out (so they got a 'tafe' certificate from a uni) after they have the diploma as the particular field doesn't need a specific certificate as its more about the experience so that's definitely something you could consider!

I wish you all the best and feel free to message me if you need to talk
Class of 2020
2019: Biology 3/4 [27]
2020:  English 3/4, Further Maths 3/4, Legal Studies 3/4, Psychology 3/4
Aspirations: Paramedicine

Tips and Resources for VCE Students              J_Rho's Year 11/12 Journey

PhoenixxFire

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Re: Feeling suicidal and hopeless due to unfair English circumstances
« Reply #4 on: January 28, 2020, 06:07:14 am »
+5
Hey,
I didnít do any of my holiday homework for English and just about didnít do any work outside of class for it the entire year because even thinking about English made me so anxious I just avoided thinking about it at all and I still got over 25. I failed some of my sacs and my average for them was somewhere around 50%. You donít actually need to pass sacs to pass the units, you can demonstrate understanding in other ways (although I was never asked to do anything else when I failed my sacs).

Just do as much as you can for it, your teacher will talk to you if youíre at risk of failing and if that happens then you can deal with it then, at least if you try and stick with it youíll have a chance of passing.
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J_Rho

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Re: Feeling suicidal and hopeless due to unfair English circumstances
« Reply #5 on: January 28, 2020, 07:34:30 am »
0
I don't have any more strength to go through one more year of English. No motivation, just pure hatred. Book I was supposed to read during holidays? Haven't touched it. Questions I was supposed to answer? Haven't done them. Creative response draft I was supposed to write? Haven't even started. I seriously do not want to do English anymore. 1 week from now I'll walk into the school and fail the first SAC, then it'll be all over. (IIRC, they kick you out if you fail one outcome or unit or something.)

At this point all you can say to me is, "Well just drop out then if it bothers you so much". What makes this even more frustrating is that I still want to graduate and experience this final year with all my peers (I don't have any friends outside of school, but I'm well acquainted with my year level). This is the main reason I'm not dropping out now, even though I could. I've been thinking for the past couple days, and I've decided to either: (a) drop out naturally (failing SACs) or (b) somehow push through with minimum 25 study score.

Jesus f****** Christ VCE is so retarded
Hey,

I know plenty of students who didn't read the English books AT ALL and still did ok, while it isn't recommended its doable. If you're struggling to pick up the book set yourself mini goals (like read 10 pages a night) where you reward yourself every time you reach a mini-goal - I attempted to do this with the reward being fantales... I ate them all before I read half the book, BUT if you have self-control it might help you! You definitely shouldn't stress yourself over English (although easier said than done) and do what you can, and don't compare yourself to others, but most importantly enjoy your final year
Class of 2020
2019: Biology 3/4 [27]
2020:  English 3/4, Further Maths 3/4, Legal Studies 3/4, Psychology 3/4
Aspirations: Paramedicine

Tips and Resources for VCE Students              J_Rho's Year 11/12 Journey