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August 15, 2020, 06:00:54 pm

Author Topic: journey to self discovery  (Read 6201 times)

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angrybiscuit

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Re: journey to self discovery
« Reply #45 on: March 10, 2020, 05:42:29 pm »
+8
I just want to chip in and say do what you want to do! Don't let someone else make your decision for you. It's your life, your marathon, your journey, don't let anyone take that unique quality off you.

I have a similar problem with my parents too as they think I 'can't handle it' but I'm sure they will change their minds later down the track when they see you are happy. Your life is meant to be full of challenges, and if you are on a smooth road, you are definitely doing it wrong. We are meant to live a life where we are constantly challenged, pushed to the limit and that's part of learning and living.
Don't worry right now if you are not sure what you want to do! There is plenty of time to decide and in the end, everything is on you. Keep up the way you are doing this right now. Look after yourself and make sure to not give up. ;D
Thank you! This made me look at things more positively :) When you do think about, if life doesn't have 'downs' or challenges then there's pretty much no point to it.

Don't let the difficulty of medicine dissuade you from applying, or the opinions of others for that matter. Yes, it's hard to cope, but a myriad of other jobs are similarly arduous. Medicine is a multi-faceted option that provides so many differing pathways to suit all aspiring doctors, and I encourage you to reconsider. If you enjoy the course, then difficulty just becomes a hurdle you'll find yourself jumping over - this is true for any pathway you are passionate about. If you love it enough, then the cons of the career will be but a small part of your entire experience.
If it was another person saying it I wouldn't be so easily deterred, but my parents know me better than anyone else and they know that I'm prone to bouts of burnout and depression. I've researched it intensely and while I do love what is to be studied, I'm scared for my mental health too. But I haven't ruled it out as an option. I've always known how important health is, especially since my family has been unfortunately struck by illnesses. Pretty early on I've desperately wanted to be the one to return people to their health. I feel like the feeling of helping someone get back on their feet will trump the difficult years to get there.

I also can't overlook the possibility that I won't be able to fulfil my promise to my parents and help them out after high school. It might be years before I'll have an income that I can give them and I have yet to hear about someone who is able to juggle med school and a part-time job.


Computer science and medicine are two completely different things, and I hope you can find your dream career soon! Don't fret though, many of us don't know what we want out of life and push that insecurity to the back of our heads, so it's commendable that you're acknowledging that and I hope you can find the answer soon.
People always look at me strangely at my very very different career options. I've done some coding during my free time and did attempt (or rather failed) at app development. I thoroughly enjoyed it, hence why computer science quickly became my second option.

Thanks whys, as always, for your wisdom! You definitely helped ease my worries. Hopefully, your english situation gets better... wishing you all the best :)
somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
carl sagan

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Re: journey to self discovery
« Reply #46 on: March 10, 2020, 07:27:50 pm »
+5
I've researched it intensely and while I do love what is to be studied, I'm scared for my mental health too. But I haven't ruled it out as an option. I've always known how important health is, especially since my family has been unfortunately struck by illnesses. Pretty early on I've desperately wanted to be the one to return people to their health. I feel like the feeling of helping someone get back on their feet will trump the difficult years to get there.
Have you considered other health professions that may be able to have the same sorts of interactions, but not necessarily involve studying medicine itself? There are opportunities working in the health industry that might be less taxing on your mental and physical health, if that is your main concern, as well as jobs that are more direct/ indirect to the patientís recovery, that donít necessarily need a degree in medicine itself.

If you find the right place, theyíll also cater towards your mental and physical health, as well as adjust things to ensure you are safe and well while you work.
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angrybiscuit

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Re: journey to self discovery
« Reply #47 on: March 15, 2020, 02:40:55 pm »
+6
Have you considered other health professions that may be able to have the same sorts of interactions, but not necessarily involve studying medicine itself? There are opportunities working in the health industry that might be less taxing on your mental and physical health, if that is your main concern, as well as jobs that are more direct/ indirect to the patientís recovery, that donít necessarily need a degree in medicine itself.

If you find the right place, theyíll also cater towards your mental and physical health, as well as adjust things to ensure you are safe and well while you work.
Yes I have! These include dietician or a nutritionist and even a pharmacist. But I need to do some more research as a lot of them just point to ones requiring med school. It would be amazing to find a place that will care for medical students' mental and physical health. The majority of the experiences I come across (mostly in America) are not too positive. The burdens and the toxic culture especially after medical school lead to an alarmingly high rate of physician depression and suicide, it's something that makes me reconsider.

Thanks for the advice!
somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
carl sagan

angrybiscuit

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Re: journey to self discovery
« Reply #48 on: April 03, 2020, 10:05:28 pm »
+9
April 3rd 2020
Wow everythingís gone crazy so fast.

Tbh the longer holiday did benefit me heaps. I was able to get back to my regular routine of workouts (whoops I neglected this during the term) and heaps of reading. Plus Iím able to work heaps. Speaking of work, Iím really lucky that I still have a job (I work at a supermarket) and I walk past the Centrelink in my area heaps of times and the lines are soo long itís so disheartening.

Iím able to get ahead of my classes and start doing exam questions here and there which is great! Iíve even started writing text responsesÖ can you believe it. Makes me realise that if we have to resort to online classes next term (looking at the numbers that seems very likely) Iíll be alright.

Anyways all this is low-key driving me nuts. Our formal (which is not until early july) was cancelled which sucks. We wonít have our last athletics or swimming carnival which sucks. Weíre not sure weíre going back in term 2 which sucks. I want to see my friends, I want to see my teachers. I know there are more important things to worry about during this time but damn I hate not being able to fully live out my last year in high school. This year was going to be the year I join all the sports and all the extracurriculars. I'm supposed to look back on this year and think wow that was a great year. Now I'll look back at this year as the crappiest year of my life.

Been dealing with some personal things lately and this plus the isolation and uncertainty just drives me mental. Hopefully, I can unwind a little before online school starts.
somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
carl sagan

angrybiscuit

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Re: journey to self discovery
« Reply #49 on: April 15, 2020, 07:19:06 pm »
+7
April 15th 2020
I mean this quarantine thing sucks and all but honestly Iím really benefitting from it. I get more sleep, we donít have zoom classes so I work at my own pace (good and bad thing depending on how you look at it) and I get more time to do other things beyond school. I can now help more with chores and cooking, I have time to exercise daily. Work-study balance is great at the moment.

I am worried that since all the sacs are postponed until further notice that I will suddenly be bombarded with sacs next term but weíll worry about that later.

As with online school, we donít have live classes (as said above). Teachers have this document on what is due week per week and we go by that. Itís unbelievably flexible. Most of my friends donít do shit until like 5 pm but hey whatever floats their boat.

Last term I desperately did not want my english sac back and guess what... Iím not getting it back. Not as long as we have this quarantine as we usually get sacs back including the paper and not just the grade. My prayers have been answered with a world wide quarantine, I donít know whether to laugh or cry about that.
somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
carl sagan

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Re: journey to self discovery
« Reply #50 on: April 15, 2020, 07:55:34 pm »
+4
There are definitely many upsides to online learning. As you said more sleep, rests, free time etc. It's nice to see that you are feeling pretty positive about it all. I hope that they don't bombard you with SACs when you get but it looks to be what most schools end up doing.
Good luck for term two, and I hope that it continues to be great!
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ArtyDreams

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Re: journey to self discovery
« Reply #51 on: April 15, 2020, 08:40:47 pm »
+4
April 15th 2020
I mean this quarantine thing sucks and all but honestly Iím really benefitting from it. I get more sleep, we donít have zoom classes so I work at my own pace (good and bad thing depending on how you look at it) and I get more time to do other things beyond school. I can now help more with chores and cooking, I have time to exercise daily. Work-study balance is great at the moment.

I am worried that since all the sacs are postponed until further notice that I will suddenly be bombarded with sacs next term but weíll worry about that later.

As with online school, we donít have live classes (as said above). Teachers have this document on what is due week per week and we go by that. Itís unbelievably flexible. Most of my friends donít do shit until like 5 pm but hey whatever floats their boat.

Last term I desperately did not want my english sac back and guess what... Iím not getting it back. Not as long as we have this quarantine as we usually get sacs back including the paper and not just the grade. My prayers have been answered with a world wide quarantine, I donít know whether to laugh or cry about that.

Tbh I'm 100% with you on the benefits of online learning!! I do like it since we get so much more relaxing time.
Literally just having no travel time to school makes all the difference.

Interesting about the SACs - in a slight way I wish my school would do that too but I think my school is heading towards online SACs, not sure how well that'll go in terms of authentication but we'll see.

Hope you have a great term!!
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angrybiscuit

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Re: journey to self discovery
« Reply #52 on: April 16, 2020, 04:51:08 pm »
+4
There are definitely many upsides to online learning. As you said more sleep, rests, free time etc. It's nice to see that you are feeling pretty positive about it all. I hope that they don't bombard you with SACs when you get but it looks to be what most schools end up doing.
Good luck for term two, and I hope that it continues to be great!
Being positive is the best we can do during these times... all the best for you as well :D

Tbh I'm 100% with you on the benefits of online learning!! I do like it since we get so much more relaxing time.
Literally just having no travel time to school makes all the difference.

Interesting about the SACs - in a slight way I wish my school would do that too but I think my school is heading towards online SACs, not sure how well that'll go in terms of authentication but we'll see.

Hope you have a great term!!
I used to wake up at 6 to get ready, now I wake up at 8.50 just to be in time for the 'roll' call. No travel time is incredible.

Yeah, online SACs would be very dodgy. Rankings would be all off and I am almost certain that everyone will cheat.. let's be honest who wouldn't

All the best for you as well, hope everything goes smoothly on your end   ;D
somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
carl sagan

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Re: journey to self discovery
« Reply #53 on: April 16, 2020, 04:55:01 pm »
+3
Wow your lucky SACs are called off. Originally our school was doing that when this was all still hypothetical but now SACs are gonna be over a zoom :( idk how thatíll work cause thereís 200 kids in chem. Iím scared that Iíll lose my ranking to people who cheat because Iím confident I canít get higher than them.
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whys

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Re: journey to self discovery
« Reply #54 on: April 16, 2020, 05:04:06 pm »
+5
Wow your lucky SACs are called off. Originally our school was doing that when this was all still hypothetical but now SACs are gonna be over a zoom :( idk how thatíll work cause thereís 200 kids in chem. Iím scared that Iíll lose my ranking to people who cheat because Iím confident I canít get higher than them.

Would like to chime in to say that the people who cheat will probably end up doing worse than you anyways. It's the exam that counts the most, and those who cheat will not learn anything from their SACs. You will, and will likely outperform them in the exam - also I doubt the virus will impact school for the entire year, so when we go back to school and SACs are normal again, their ranking will drop if they have been cheating instead of efficiently studying. I too had the same worries regarding online SACs, but it is in your power to complete the SAC honestly. You can't stop others from cheating, but they will not be in a better boat than you when it comes to the end of year exam.

I agree with everyone above - I can safely wake up much later - with time left over to watch TV - which is great because I can watch the tv shows I want to! I have so much more time for non-study things which I am grateful for, but I miss the impromptu meetings when walking to class, the hellos and the laughs, and the fun we had at lunch and recess. There are some things that can never be replicated in online conditions. I wish you the best of luck for your VCE journey angrybiscuit!

angrybiscuit

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Re: journey to self discovery
« Reply #55 on: April 16, 2020, 08:22:03 pm »
+4
Wow your lucky SACs are called off. Originally our school was doing that when this was all still hypothetical but now SACs are gonna be over a zoom :( idk how thatíll work cause thereís 200 kids in chem. Iím scared that Iíll lose my ranking to people who cheat because Iím confident I canít get higher than them.
As whys said above the best you can do is to do your best :) Those who cheat are indeed sabotaging themselves, so do your sacs like you would on normal circumstances. You wouldn't want to do practice exams open book with notes so just apply the same thing in online sacs. Good luck for this term, hope everything goes well!

I agree with everyone above - I can safely wake up much later - with time left over to watch TV - which is great because I can watch the tv shows I want to! I have so much more time for non-study things which I am grateful for, but I miss the impromptu meetings when walking to class, the hellos and the laughs, and the fun we had at lunch and recess. There are some things that can never be replicated in online conditions. I wish you the best of luck for your VCE journey angrybiscuit!
As great as online schooling is, it can never beat actual school for me for the same reasons you have outlined above. The very social environment of school is why my parents never allowed me to be home-schooled. This is nothing more than wishful thinking but I hope that everything goes back to normal in term 3 (or hopefully earlier). Hope everything goes well for you whys!
somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
carl sagan

angrybiscuit

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Re: journey to self discovery
« Reply #56 on: May 29, 2020, 09:07:20 pm »
+7
29th of May
Oops it's been a while, have been meaning to update but didn't have the motivation too.

Anyways there is a big storm coming for me and I'm currently trying to brace myself. I have two weeks to prepare until the dreaded SAC week where I will have SACs for almost all my subjects because I literally did not have any SACs during the online school period. I should have met this with anticipation but for the SACs to be all in one week... just yikes  :-\

Another wave of SACs is coming next term specifically the first couple of weeks and the last couple of weeks of term 3. Unfortunately, this means it will coincide with my UCAT but there is nothing I can do but just prepare the best I can.

All my subjects have begun Unit 4 which is mildly annoying because I still have U3 SACs. Truth is I am petrified. Term 2 began with so much time on my hands and I wished I spent it more wisely instead of attempting to relax a little. And let's not even begin with English  :-X :-X

Speaking of UCAT I have never been so petrified in my life about a test, not so much the prospect of it being worth as much as my ATAR, but the fact that I paid $300 for me to fail. The variability in my performance is frightening. My mocks range from 650 to 850 and it varies day to day. The only one I am consistently performing well in is Situational Judgement which doesn't even contribute to my overall score. I hope to at least be more consistent and pray that I do somewhat well on the actual thing.

Sorry for all the doom and gloom, hopefully, my next couple will be more positive ... hope everyone's week went smoothly!
somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
carl sagan

angrybiscuit

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Re: journey to self discovery
« Reply #57 on: June 17, 2020, 03:12:44 pm »
+8
June 17th 2020
Hello itís time for a proper update because Iíll disappear pretty soonÖ these sac weeks remind me so much of year 11 exams which sucks ;(

English
Just did a text response and oh my what a d i s a s t e r. So bad that it was actually worse than my creative which is saying something. Luckily, weíre headed to language analysis is something that I can somewhat do. The English gods better grant me some magical english powers so that I can obtain that raw 35  :'(

Specialist
Where do I even begin.
Sometimes I get it, sometimes I donít. Learning a vast majority of U3 content independently was a nightmare and itís left a lot of holes in my knowledge that is so time consuming to fill. There will be concepts where ďoh yeah I get itĒ, but then theyíll give me a question that has a different angle for tackling it and Iímó lost??? Hopefully I get better at knowing the right method to tackle questions. DEís are the bane of my existence at the moment so hopefully I can up my game.

Methods
Thereís some hope for me in maths.
Iím slowly (but surely) getting better at application questions. I enjoy methods much more than I do spec and I find it miles easier because most of the topics I do on methods I cover on spec first.

I got to do VCAA exams which I find are doable. But then Iíll do sacs from other top-performing schools and Ió wow I struggle so much itís actually disheartening and makes me lose confidence in my abilities. Am I good at methods or is my school just dumbing it down so as not to discourage us? Probably the latter.

Psychology
Uh, not really much to say really. Just finished learning and memory. Weíre on to U4. Psych is pretty easy to grasp but thereís just so much content I find it very time-consuming. A SAC coming up soon and I'm slightly worried because the teachers have been warning us that it'll be difficult one.

Biology
Iím not excited to learn about evolution AT ALL. Just not my cup of tea. I absolutely loved the previous AOS which was immunity and evolution is just a massive downgrade for me. SACs have been okay though so thereís that.

UCAT: Have been doing 1 hour of UCAT per day. Have done a couple of mocks. Not too hopeful given that these mocks indicate nothing but Iím hoping to get around 10k questions before my actual test date. Iíve only done around 7k at the moment. Starting to feel the pressure because Iíve got less than a month to go. My expectations for my UCAT is even lower than my expectations for english so that says something.

General
Wow. Wow I think I got too cozy during the lockdown period because now I am feeling the full force of year 12. I have so many sacs to study for itís insane and they're all within next week. This coupled with the fact that I havenít had the time to exercise and some body image issues and you got s t r e s s. Iíve been managing things well but I feel so underprepared whenever I donít spend as much time studying for SACs as I did for them last year (which I know is impossible given my workload nowadays). I wonít leave this on a negative note (I know you guys are probably realising that I'm a pretty pessimistic person lol) Got back my English SAC (the dreaded creative, 3 months late) and it wasn't a failure but there's heaps of room for improvement but at least I know where I lost the marks in :)
somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
carl sagan

angrybiscuit

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Re: journey to self discovery
« Reply #58 on: July 03, 2020, 08:53:47 pm »
+8
July 3rd 2020

ENGLISH
Iím convinced I am absolutely cursed at this subject. Half my year level showed an astronomical flex by not reading the book but still get a higher score than me in the analytical response what witchcraft are they using??? Can I use them too???

PSYCH
All is well. Weíre travelling nicely, though kinda worried because weíre covering things rather slow. Although my teachers are confident weíll finish the content in time so Iíll take their word for it. The new unit is more interesting than U3 imo

BIOL
The speed at which weíre covering the topics is insane. We have Unit 4 AOS 2 left to do which is literally the smallest AOS in the entire 3/4 course so Iím pretty happy with bio. Still have a shit tonne of SACs (3) to squeeze into Term 3 but it wonít be the equivalent of WWIII unlike Term 2. Very confident that Iíll have plenty of time for exam revision

SPEC
Iíve officially hit rock bottomÖ in spec. I have now accepted that it will be bottom two and that I will probably get at most raw 20. I have never in my life struggled so much in maths as I do now in spec. Everything in integral calculus and differential equations is just lost on me when is put into application questions. Oh well it was fun while it lasted. We've just started on kinematics and mechanics which is something that I thoroughly enjoy.

METHODS
Methods, my actual love. What an absolute contrast lmao. I have forced myself to enjoy application questions and I have found myself actually enjoying them throughly (lmfao.. is this Stockholm syndrome?). If there is one thing that spec has done it has fuelled my love for methods because it actually makes sense. 

UCAT
So Iím using Medify to prepare but Iím not too confident given that the practice tests that the official UCAT website gives are far, far more difficult (RIP). Ultimately, itís a hit or miss for me especially with VR.

Verbal Reasoning is by far my absolute worst section. Iíve improved in all except this one. I cannot read nor comprehend within the 40 second time frame provided and I always end up getting 600-700. My performance in VR parallels my performance in English, how tragic.

Future pathways
1.Bachelor of Medical Science @ Monash

Itís a dream, itís probably beyond reach but I can just try.

2.Bachelor of Science @ Melbourne
ó> Neuroscience / Physiology
Honestly I will major in any life sciences as theyíre all so intriguing. For as long as I can remember I have always wanted to do science instead of biomed, mainly because of the wide variety of majors but I guess weíll see.

Through this pathway I can hopefully get into postgraduate medicine or (if I am steered to another path) another pathway completely.

3.Bachelor of Science
ó> Data Science / Computing systems major
I highkey also want to work as a data analyst for a company or something or just work in the industry. This one is a vague but achievable goal for me.

Ultimately, even if I donít get my preferences, I have a crap tonne of other interests. But I have a bad habit of not researching enough so Iím scared of not knowing what Iím getting into.

General
I thought maybe I should reflect back given how bloody cheesy and cringe my journal title is but you know what Iíll just own it. When I started this journal I was in a really bad place. My familyís home situation was very bad, to the point where university was not an option for me because I really believed that I needed to step up as a provider for my family. Hence, my initial desire to chase money. Things have changed however, and my home situation has gotten better, to the point where I am most likely going to university and pursue whatever my heartís desire. But Iím not going to ignore the fact that things can get worse, and that Iíll need a backup if that happens. No matter what happens my family always always comes first and I'm willing to put aside everything for them.
somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
carl sagan

angrybiscuit

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Re: journey to self discovery
« Reply #59 on: July 14, 2020, 03:56:32 pm »
+4
July 14th 2020
To be honest, Iím really unhappy with how I travelled these holidays. I had plans to get ahead in most subjects and complete exams but I forgot that UCAT was a thing and it drains the crap out of you (:

I honestly cannot wait until UCAT is over, but I have like a love/hate relationship so I feel like Iíll have withdrawals after doing 30 mins of UCAT every day since March. Iíll miss it, but Iíll be very glad to have it gone. I have been having daily panics about what happens if I donít hit the desired UCAT score (a probable outcome). My momís helping me keep things in perspective that Iím not going to lose anything by performing badly, and that if I donít get into my desired course, I still have a roof over my head. Honestly, super grateful to have such parents. I know I donít talk about them much here, but the fact that they donít pressure me and they support whatever endeavour I take means so much.

Iím trying not to be so harsh on myself so Iím trying not to berate myself from not achieving as much as I have hoped to have. At least Iíve committed to working out twice a day. Honestly exercise helps SO much from technology derived headaches itís insane.

So Iíll congratulate myself from the stuff Iíve done:
> (3) Unit 3 Biology exams
> Psychology extended investigation
> (3) language analysis pieces
> Read news articles for language analysis
> Revision for methods SAC
> Ö A shit tonne of UCAT

Last week I got my methods sac back and I have mixed feelings. On one hand Iím pretty happy because all my mistakes were just silly errors and not because I donít understand the question. On another hand, I feel so disappointed because it could have easily been a perfect score if I didnít make those silly mistakes.

My mood has been at an all time low which is expected as I hit the halfway point of this year. I just hope my energy and motivation goes up from hereÖ

Thatís all for this short update. Hope you guys stay well :)

SEAS questions
I've been thinking about applying for SEAS in terms of Category 4 (difficult circumstances). I've got a couple of questions and I'm not sure where I should be asking this.

1) Is it worth applying for category 4 when Iím already eligible for category one because I go to an under-represented school?
2) How do I know my circumstances are eligible? It is not listed in the VTAC website and Iím scared that itís not going to be considered as ďdifficult circumstances"
somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
carl sagan