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July 13, 2020, 02:37:31 am

Author Topic: journey to self discovery  (Read 5342 times)

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angrybiscuit

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journey to self discovery
« on: November 20, 2019, 12:00:27 pm »
+13
Hey guys thought Iíd start up a journal now that I am technically a year 12!!

So a little bit about me: Iíve just finished Year 11 and the subjects that I did were Chem 3/4, Spesh 1/2, Methods 1/2, Biology 1/2, Psychology 1/2, English and Text & Traditions (compulsory). Next year Iíll be doing Spesh, Methods, Biology, Psych and English! Will definitely be a challenging year but Iím weirdly looking forward to it.

I've finished chemistry this year as an early 3/4 subject. Even though I'm disappointed with how I performed this year, I absolutely loved it. The concepts and topics were great (equilibrium and food chemistry are my favs) and it challenged me to apply the knowledge that I've learnt, not simply just regurgitating facts.

Outside of school I love to play the keyboard (am hoping to self teach myself how to read notes), swim recreationally, go to the gym, and learn French (this was out of the blue!) Above all I have a great passion for astronomy. I LOVE astronomy. Everything above space and aerospace attracts me like a massive magnet. I could literally just sit with someone and speak about it for hours on end.

What are my year 12 goals? Honestly, I just want to be content with whatever ATAR I get. I have a thing of being unforgiving towards myself. I always kick myself for not doing the best and then kick myself for kicking myself. For once I want to learn to be content with whatever Iíve accomplished.

What are my future aspirations? Money. I know that sounds shallow and all but my dream is to really help out my parents. I feel sorry for them as theyíre both tired from working a lot and I feel that itís my responsibility to alleviate financial stresses. Itís terrible to see them sick due to fatigue and stress and honestly it takes a toll on me too. This is my ultimate goal and I will not care how I achieve it.

What are my career aspirations? Honestly, I donít know. I donít really have a clue. I know this sucks but Iím choosing a career that not only pays well but ensures job security in the near future. Iíve established very quickly that though I love science I HATE HATE the research component of it. Therefore, the prospects of being a scientist or a researcher is quickly eliminated. I would love to be able to do something in aerospace but again, there is little guarantee of job security within Australia.

Iím leaning towards IT with business as I would really love to start up a business but Iím a science gal and Iíve never done anything business-related (any thoughts on this?) I still donít know what area of IT I want to do (data science and software engineering are tempting but I need to know more about them). Medicine is another tempting career but I fear that 6 years before being able to help my parents is far too long. As well, Iím scared for my mental wellbeing but Iím honestly up for it!

I would love to be able to first relieve my parents of financial stress so that they no longer have to work full time. Then after that, I plan to pursue my dream in aerospace, even going to America if thatís what it takes! The literal thought of working for SpaceX or NASA makes me want to cry.

Hopefully, through this journal I can make more sense of myself and find out what I really want to do in life  ;D
somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
carl sagan

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Re: journey to self discovery
« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2019, 12:34:53 pm »
+4
Awesome to see another year 12 journal, and great subject choices!

I must ask, since you love astronomy (so do I), how come you haven't taken physics? I know that there isn't alot of astronomy in there, but I am kind of curious.
Teaching yourself a language is so awesome, I think it is so beneficial to have another language under you belt, I do the same with Chinese. What made you chose french though?
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angrybiscuit

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Re: journey to self discovery
« Reply #2 on: November 20, 2019, 01:04:55 pm »
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I must ask, since you love astronomy (so do I), how come you haven't taken physics? I know that there isn't alot of astronomy in there, but I am kind of curious.

I get asked that question a lot and honestly, I ask myself that as well! In Year 10 there was a physics equivalent elective in which I didn't do (due to timetabling reasons). For some reason, during subject selection, I (dumbly) decided to do subjects that I had backgrounds in, so I decided not to do physics. This was a really bad mistake looking back at it!

Then this year I decided to pick up physics, unfortunately, my timetabling clashed. As well, at that point I was drowning in work and I thought that if I picked up physics I'll have to do even more work haha. It was a very lazy excuse but looking back at it I regret not doing physics in the first place because I do really well in the physics component of specialist! It's a shame given that I will be at a disadvantage if I decide to pursue astronomy or aeronautical engineering as I don't have physics

Teaching yourself a language is so awesome, I think it is so beneficial to have another language under you belt, I do the same with Chinese. What made you chose french though?

Funny story! My sister and I watched a french tv show (it's an animated show and it's pretty embarrassing to admit this but it's amusingly good) and fell in love with the language instantly so we decided to try to learn it! How about you? How did you come to learn Chinese?
somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
carl sagan

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Re: journey to self discovery
« Reply #3 on: November 20, 2019, 05:23:41 pm »
0
So great to see another journal, look forward to reading more about your journey! Are you excited about officially being a Year 12 (or feeling nervous)? Does it feel real yet?

Best of luck learning the keyboard! What kinds of things are you trying to play? And when I learnt to read notes on the stave, I did a ton of worksheets. They were super helpful (but I can't remember what they were called or where I got them from). I still can't read bass clef though, I just have to count down from middle C.

 ;D ;D
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angrybiscuit

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Re: journey to self discovery
« Reply #4 on: November 20, 2019, 05:36:22 pm »
+3
So great to see another journal, look forward to reading more about your journey! Are you excited about officially being a Year 12 (or feeling nervous)? Does it feel real yet?
Thank you so much! It really hasn't hit me yet... I'm more sad than nervous about the prospects of leaving school because I love my school  :'(

Best of luck learning the keyboard! What kinds of things are you trying to play? And when I learnt to read notes on the stave, I did a ton of worksheets. They were super helpful (but I can't remember what they were called or where I got them from). I still can't read bass clef though, I just have to count down from middle C.
I'm trying to play classical songs! (I've learnt to play a couple such as Arabesque no 1 and nuvole bianche). Thanks for the tip! Reading notes definitely won't be easy but learning via muscle memory and synthesia takes super long!
On my list of songs to learn are Clair De Lune (Debussy) and Nocturne in C Sharp Minor (Chopin).. both are beauuutiful songs. 
somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
carl sagan

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Re: journey to self discovery
« Reply #5 on: November 20, 2019, 05:42:22 pm »
+1
Great to see your journal!

- Likes science
- Doesn't want to do research
- Interested in starting own business

Have you researched my course (Bachelor of Science Advanced - Global Challenges (Honours) ) at all?
It's a science course but focused on stepping outside of the academia bubble and linking with industry etc. In 2nd year we all start our own businesses. Seriously you should look it up and if you have any questions ask :)


It's absolutely reasonable to want money and to want your family to be financially secure; please don't think that this makes you a shallow person. I hope you're able to both do this and follow your passions - best of luck!

angrybiscuit

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Re: journey to self discovery
« Reply #6 on: November 20, 2019, 07:38:09 pm »
+3
Have you researched my course (Bachelor of Science Advanced - Global Challenges (Honours) ) at all?
It's a science course but focused on stepping outside of the academia bubble and linking with industry etc. In 2nd year we all start our own businesses. Seriously you should look it up and if you have any questions ask :)
I have heard of it but made the mistake of not looking further into it! I researched it just recently and the entrepreneurship and leadership aspects definitely drew me in! I'll definitely look more into it and keep it in mind as one of my preferences.. thanks!  ;D

It's absolutely reasonable to want money and to want your family to be financially secure; please don't think that this makes you a shallow person. I hope you're able to both do this and follow your passions - best of luck!
Was hesitant in starting up a journal but I'm absolutely touched at the wonderful responses I got  :) Thank you!
somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
carl sagan

angrybiscuit

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Re: journey to self discovery
« Reply #7 on: November 29, 2019, 09:05:32 pm »
+5
November 29th 2019
(I donít know if you can really call this an update):

Last year I befriended a teacher who would become one of my greatest sources of inspiration and motivation. I came to him for book recommendations and now we constantly exchange our thoughts and feelings about the books we read. Itís like our little book club.

Those books absolutely changed my life. I sobbed as I read ĎFlowers for Algernon.í I laughed my ass off as I read ĎHitchhikerís Guide to the Galaxy.' I sobbed again through Norwegian Wood. I was lowkey confused by Catcher in the Rye but it was still an adventure nonetheless.

After such a hellish october and november (due to nonstop assessments and exams) I am finally able to read books! I whizzed through ĎBecomingí (as it was an amazing book) which I got as a present to help motivate and inspire me and I must say it did itís job! I can definitely related to Michelle Obama's past on so many levels. She wrote about hating how her previous boyfriend 'swerved' in terms of his career. Instead of going straight to med school he instead became a mascot first, which personally bewildered her. She didn't get (and rather despised) the fact that other people don't take a linear path to their goals and instead take this zig zag path which takes time and money. I can totally relate. As well, another painful parallel of our past is losing a close relation from cancer at the young age of 27.

My next endeavours are the three english books which I hope to conquer before the next week so I can go on to other books.

Does anyone have any book recommendations? Honestly, I read any genre so anything would be appreciated!

ņ bientŰt!
« Last Edit: December 24, 2019, 10:34:12 pm by angrybiscuit »
somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
carl sagan

angrybiscuit

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Re: journey to self discovery
« Reply #8 on: December 07, 2019, 12:38:45 pm »
+7
December 7th 2019
Helloo! Holidays have officially begun and I thought Iíd update my journal. I have a crap tonne (like a lot lot) of hw to do during the holidays but Iím sooo relieved that I get a break! Iíve been reading heaps (mainly next yearís english subjects and Iíve started to compile quotes)

I canít tell you guys how relieved I am to have only 5 subjects (plus RE) to think about. I was juggling 7 subjects this year which was definitely a nightmare.

Last week we had our awards ceremony and snagged up 5 awards. Iím soooper happy as only one out of the whole cohort get one per subject :)

Anyways, my study score for chemistry comes out next week. I donít want to expect or predict anything as I know Iíd simply be disappointed. If it was just me I would not give two shits about if my SS is 31 or 45. But one of the teachers came up at the start of the year telling me that she expects me to get at least a 40. Coming from a school where the highest SS in chemistry is usually 38.. this was a shocker and it scared me throughout the year. Iím absolutely petrified in disappointing her.

You see, I never usually care about whether or not I get a B+ or an A+. But I do care about what other people think. I donít care if my SS is underwhelming, but I do care about what my teachers think and I do care that I disappointed their expectations. Itís a horrible trait of mine to be so conscious and to be so affected by other peopleís judgments. I guess, this is my tragic flaw and I hope to rectify this as I grow up as it does impede my ability and desire to put myself out there and to take risks.

Long Term Goal #1: Let people judge me and not give a single shit.
somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
carl sagan

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Re: journey to self discovery
« Reply #9 on: December 08, 2019, 02:09:02 pm »
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December 7th 2019
Last week we had our awards ceremony and snagged up 5 awards. Iím soooper happy as only one out of the whole cohort get one per subject :)
Congrats, that's a fantastic effort! Which subjects did you get the awards for?
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angrybiscuit

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Re: journey to self discovery
« Reply #10 on: December 08, 2019, 04:47:02 pm »
+2
Congrats, that's a fantastic effort! Which subjects did you get the awards for?

Thank you!! I got them for Chem, Spesh, RE (Texts), Biology and English (surprisingly)!
somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
carl sagan

angrybiscuit

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Re: journey to self discovery
« Reply #11 on: December 12, 2019, 08:22:13 am »
+8
December 12th
I woke up at an unusually early time of 6 am. Already my heart was pounding. I literally rehearsed all the possible scenarios. Worst case: raw 36; it would have scaled to a 40 and I could tell me teachers that I technically got a 40. Ideal case: raw 40; to feed my teachers' expectations. Best case: raw 44; to feed my ego.

With my mom reassuring me as I panicked into oblivion I reluctantly went on the website and...

Spoiler
It's over 44 !
Btw: At certain points of my journal, I may come off vague. I want to write down my feelings and thoughts and stuff but not too much detail of my daily life that someone that I know will identify me. I'm absolutely petrified of someone coming up to me and saying "Hey don't you have that journal..."


Okay so I was absolutely elated. Not sure if I cried. This whole morning I was punching the air. Hopefully, it taught me a lesson
Ultimately I knew that no matter what score I got I would be proud of the effort I put into chem. I absolutely loved chem and weirdly I will never ever forget how much I enjoyed this beautiful subject (all of y'all must be grimacing of how weird I am but I won't blame you). I was only scared of what people thought of me but hopefully, next year that fear of judgement will be gone!

To the class 2019, all the best! I hope you're satisfied with your ATAR and are proud of what you've achieved. For the class of 2020, I hope you're satisfied with your study scores and are proud of what you've achieved. It's rich coming from me but the old saying is true, that they are simply numbers and do not define you :)
somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
carl sagan

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Re: journey to self discovery
« Reply #12 on: December 12, 2019, 08:26:56 am »
+3
Congratulations on such an amazing result!!  :D ;)
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angrybiscuit

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Re: journey to self discovery
« Reply #13 on: December 12, 2019, 08:35:55 am »
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Congratulations on such an amazing result!!  :D ;)

Thank you so much!



On a side note.. does anyone know how much it cost to get the Statement of Study Score and Statement of Marks? I know it's not worth obsessing over but I am genuinely curious. I know there is a fee but there isn't anywhere that specified it?
somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
carl sagan

ArtyDreams

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Re: journey to self discovery
« Reply #14 on: December 12, 2019, 08:38:00 am »
+1
Thank you so much!



On a side note.. does anyone know how much it cost to get the Statement of Study Score and Statement of Marks? I know it's not worth obsessing over but I am genuinely curious. I know there is a fee but there isn't anywhere that specified it?

I'm not confident that this is correct, but one of my teachers once mentioned its like $20 or something close to that.

Also` dont feel bad that you like Chem! There are so many people out there that like it as a subject too! I'm doing 3/4 chem next year, and it is really one of my favourite subjects too - youve defintely inspired me to do well  ;D
« Last Edit: December 12, 2019, 08:42:33 am by rr28 »
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