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September 16, 2019, 10:33:51 am

Author Topic: legal studies  (Read 125 times)

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Amaniajaje03

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legal studies
« on: August 19, 2019, 10:10:15 pm »
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Can I get some feedback on this essay plssssssssss

Jfernando312

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Re: legal studies
« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2019, 05:41:46 pm »
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Can I get some feedback on this essay plssssssssss

Hi , I read your essay and I think that it is really good as youíve addressed mainly why you think itís slightly ineffective really well and focused on the criteria for each paragraph and provided statistics and evidence to support you arguments. However, I do think you could cut back on the intro as the first sentence was to the point and argumentative but you do not need to describe what a whistleblower is and you can just go straight your last sentence of your intro where you said the responses are slightly effective or provide context quickly in one line if need be. The point is to argue straight away and focus on evaluating, but overall itís good you have a lot of knowledge and understand why the responses are not effective or is effective in achieving justice. Good luck!!!