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October 15, 2019, 04:47:24 am

Author Topic: Year of wonders vs The crucible essay  (Read 408 times)  Share 

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BIGI01

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Year of wonders vs The crucible essay
« on: August 18, 2019, 10:48:20 am »
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Hi guys
I was wondering wether someone could give me feedback on my practice essay.
It is a text reposne on Years of wonder and the curcible.
The prompt is "Compare how The Crucible and Years of Wonders demonstrate the dangers of adhering to social conventions"

OZLexico

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Re: Year of wonders vs The crucible essay
« Reply #1 on: August 19, 2019, 12:03:40 pm »
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Hi there, I have attached some comments on your comparison essay. Aside from the specific things I've commented on, you must also make sure you spell characters' names correctly (these might have been typing errors in your writing) and make sure you review your sentence structure. I think you should also work on including more of the relevant quotes and examples that support your main ideas. Personally, I don't think there's enough comparison going on here and while you will have a favourite text you must be able to use both texts with a hopefully equal/or near equal role in the structure of your essay.

BIGI01

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Re: Year of wonders vs The crucible essay
« Reply #2 on: August 20, 2019, 09:37:56 am »
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Thank you for the feedback, i will implement it.
As for the when u said when i was favouring  one text then the other. I was not trying to do that. As my plan was to talk about each point with one character from both text.

OZLexico

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Re: Year of wonders vs The crucible essay
« Reply #3 on: August 20, 2019, 11:58:10 am »
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Hi Again, That's great to hear that you are aware of balancing your essay content equally between the two texts. Maybe this is something you should check regularly as you write - ask yourself if there is enough comment about the second text included in your comparison. Try to keep this consistent in each of the body paragraphs.

BIGI01

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Re: Year of wonders vs The crucible essay
« Reply #4 on: August 22, 2019, 02:47:41 pm »
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I have written a second essay, i will upload it tommrow, will u be able to give me feedback