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December 11, 2019, 04:33:12 pm

Author Topic: Feedback on my Chritsmas Carol paragraph  (Read 166 times)  Share 

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Feedback on my Chritsmas Carol paragraph
« on: July 22, 2019, 11:44:29 am »

Any feedback would be appreciated!

Throughout A Christmas Carol, Dickens exposes the damage that wilful neglect and shirking of responsibilities can cause to society. When the Portly Gentlemen, who are “pleasant to behold” because of their kindness and generosity, ask Scrooge for donations for the poor, he is initially cold and cruel in his refusal. He does not believe that “charity, mercy” and “the common welfare” are his business, and diverts his responsibilities to the “prisons” and “workhouses” of the era. Dickens suggests that Scrooge’s insistence that he does not “interfere with other people’s business” is common behaviour for the wealthy and privileged, who fail to see their obligations to those less fortunate. Scrooge is made to regret his words when he is later confronted with the evidence of his neglect in the form of the “wretched, abject, frightful, hideous” children, “Ignorance and Want”. The Ghost of Christmas Present reveals that these poor children are representations of the disregard and failure of society, and are “Man’s creation” and therefore humanity’s responsibility. The poverty and suffering of these children has gone ignored by the wealthy, and Dickens condemns Scrooge and those like him for their role in their anguish. Dickens highlights through his novella the need for society to understand their obligations in order to prevent pain and suffering amongst the poor.


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Re: Feedback on my Chritsmas Carol paragraph
« Reply #1 on: July 22, 2019, 05:37:24 pm »
Hey! I think this is a great paragraph, but you use a lot of quotes and don't really focus on analysing them. Your last sentence is excellent, but see if you can really draw that out a bit earlier in the paragraph. You may also wish to talk about how what Dicken's writes motivates the reader to change and do good in society and which techniques he uses to do that.
the cage is shattered
the songbird sings
of her freedom once more

soars in blue
basks in the light
leaving nothing
but notes behind

she is never going
back in that cage