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December 15, 2019, 09:34:00 pm

Author Topic: Pressure to drink in uni  (Read 781 times)  Share 

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stressedyeareight

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Pressure to drink in uni
« on: July 10, 2019, 01:59:37 pm »
0
Hi everyone!
Iím still in high school but I am worried about pressure to drink in uni.
Both my parents donít drink for religious reasons. Once I am 18 both my parents will expect me not to drink.
I am a very social and outgoing person. I am afraid that I will miss out and struggle to fit in during uni if I do not drink.
To what extent is this true? If I do not drink, will I still be invited to parties and social events.
Iím the type of person who would enjoy clubbing but how likely is it that my friends will accept me if I donít drink?
Also how common is it for uni students to avoid drinking? Is it very uncommon?
Also are non alcoholics judged and made fun of or does it not matter?
How much does uni social life revolve around drinking? Will I be missing out on a lot?
If I choose to drink, how can I hide this from my parents. (If Iím living with them)

Joseph41

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Re: Pressure to drink in uni
« Reply #1 on: July 10, 2019, 02:16:22 pm »
+11
Howdy! :)

Context: I don't drink, just out of personal choice.

I am a very social and outgoing person. I am afraid that I will miss out and struggle to fit in during uni if I do not drink. To what extent is this true?
Lots of people at uni drink. But lots of people at uni also don't drink. I guess it depends on the social group specifically.

If I do not drink, will I still be invited to parties and social events.
Yes.

Iím the type of person who would enjoy clubbing but how likely is it that my friends will accept me if I donít drink?
If they're your friends, they will absolutely accept you.

Also how common is it for uni students to avoid drinking? Is it very uncommon?
Probably more common than you'd think. I'm sure there's a sliding scale of how much people drink, though.

Also are non alcoholics judged and made fun of or does it not matter?
If people want to judge you for not drinking, that's their prerogative. Honestly, I've felt on the outer in social situations by virtue of not drinking, but that's fine - I don't want to be pressured into something that I don't want to do. I've found over the years that the people who judge you for things like this probably aren't worth investing heaps of time into.

How much does uni social life revolve around drinking? Will I be missing out on a lot?
Probably not hugely qualified to answer as I'm not that social haha. I'm sure others can answer this better than I could! But there will always be social events where drinking is involved, and also social events where drinking is irrelevant.

You don't have to drink if you don't want to. In general, I'd encourage you to just take things as they come if you can. Who knows? Things might change entirely by the time this type of situation greets you. :)
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beatroot

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Re: Pressure to drink in uni
« Reply #2 on: July 10, 2019, 04:00:53 pm »
+7
Hello! Just adding more to what J41 said above.

To add context: I'm in second year of uni. I only drink in social situations where I feel like there's something to celebrate ie; I would say 1-2 a month at uni events.

I am a very social and outgoing person. I am afraid that I will miss out and struggle to fit in during uni if I do not drink.
- Depends on the situation; not all uni events have drinks. Some people to choose to drink for socialisation sake, others do not out because of personal reasons.

To what extent is this true? If I do not drink, will I still be invited to parties and social events.
- Yes you will still be invited to uni parties and social events. In fact, my closest friends from uni don't even drink at all. They still get invited to parties and all.

Iím the type of person who would enjoy clubbing but how likely is it that my friends will accept me if I donít drink?
- They will accept you no matter what !!

Also how common is it for uni students to avoid drinking? Is it very uncommon?
- A lot more than you think. Some students don't drink because of personal reasons, health reasons, designated driver, etc. Completely normal for uni students not to drink. I choose not to drink at most events because I want to be the sober friend and make sure people are safe.

Also are non alcoholics judged and made fun of or does it not matter?
- They don't get judged! In films, they make seem it like you'll get pressured into drinking. But it's the complete opposite in real life. I've had people offer me drinks at uni parties and I say no (either because I don't want to drink or don't want to push my limits) and the usual response from the other person is 'more for me' or 'that's fine'

How much does uni social life revolve around drinking? Will I be missing out on a lot?
- To an extent, uni social life revolve around drinking. But you have to remember that not all uni events will provide alcohol. Uni social life can be other things such as board game night or a trip to the ice skating rink or a bushhike. And even if there are uni events that occur at night, you don't have to drink if you don't want to.

- ***Only drink if you do want to. Don't feel pressured at all to drink. What you see in the media about uni students drinking is just the tip of the iceberg. Uni social life is so much more than that- in fact the ones that don't involve alcohol are usually the best ones.
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brynstar

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Re: Pressure to drink in uni
« Reply #3 on: July 10, 2019, 04:17:22 pm »
+4
Hi everyone!
Iím still in high school but I am worried about pressure to drink in uni.
Both my parents donít drink for religious reasons. Once I am 18 both my parents will expect me not to drink.
I am a very social and outgoing person. I am afraid that I will miss out and struggle to fit in during uni if I do not drink.
To what extent is this true? If I do not drink, will I still be invited to parties and social events.
Iím the type of person who would enjoy clubbing but how likely is it that my friends will accept me if I donít drink?
Also how common is it for uni students to avoid drinking? Is it very uncommon?
Also are non alcoholics judged and made fun of or does it not matter?
How much does uni social life revolve around drinking? Will I be missing out on a lot?
If I choose to drink, how can I hide this from my parents. (If Iím living with them)


Completely agree with previous posters! There's definitely an alcohol culture around uni but I've never been "pressured" into drinking. There are a very small number of situations (e.g. orientation camps) that I avoided because of the reputation of alcoholism surrounding them, but that was also kinda to do with safety concerns as I heard some not so great things about camps.
I've met a few people who don't drink because of either religious reasons or personal choice and everyone seems to be fine with it. If your friends make you feel bad about not drinking, they're not real friends. If you're with a group of people you don't know that well, you can always say you have to get up early for something the next day/are on antibiotics/any other excuse and people will almost certainly leave you alone.
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Divayth Fyr

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Re: Pressure to drink in uni
« Reply #4 on: July 14, 2019, 11:20:23 pm »
+7
Just going to throw in here that if you decide not to drink then you'll be everyone's favourite person when they need a way home.

subjrevs11

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Re: Pressure to drink in uni
« Reply #5 on: July 26, 2019, 12:51:16 pm »
+2
It seems obvious to me that you're overthinking things. There's no feasible reason that people would negatively judge you for not drinking alcohol. Even in situations where everybody around you is drinking (i.e. end of semester parties), nobody is going to care whether you're drinking or not. This is coming from somebody who doesn't drink (due to general disinterest and health reasons), who attends uni events often.

DrDusk

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Re: Pressure to drink in uni
« Reply #6 on: July 31, 2019, 11:49:18 pm »
+3
I don't drink but all my friends do...

I have never felt left out or anything you know. While others are drinking alcohol we just drink our soft drinks, and I mean soft drinks are so much better.
I have been pressured before to drink by some loose friends(not my actual close friends), but you do have to stand your ground, and I only had to say no like 2 or 3 times before they got the message.

Even if you ARE pressured, don't let others control how you choose to live your life. That also certainly applies to any beliefs. My parents are religious but I made it quite clear that I'm definitely not religious, and even though I do get looked down for it, it's your choice how you choose to live your life . P.S. The only reason I'm saying this is because you mentioned hiding drinking from your parents.
« Last Edit: July 31, 2019, 11:53:44 pm by DrDusk »
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yourfriendlyneighbourhoodghost

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Re: Pressure to drink in uni
« Reply #7 on: August 01, 2019, 11:35:48 am »
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This is so good to know, I was really scared there would be a massive push on drinking and parties. As a peeps my who finds it difficult to make new friends, like how do you start that conversation between someine at uni without it seeming werid.
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DrDusk

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Re: Pressure to drink in uni
« Reply #8 on: August 01, 2019, 03:34:21 pm »
+1
This is so good to know, I was really scared there would be a massive push on drinking and parties. As a peeps my who finds it difficult to make new friends, like how do you start that conversation between someine at uni without it seeming werid.

It's much easier than you think. For your courses you'll have something called tutorials which are small classes of 30. This is where you hit it off with others.

Literally on my first one I just sat next to this guy and now like 8 months later were still friends(we both study Physics). It's very easy to make friends with someone in your degree because you have the same interests.

A good way to start a convo is by asking an interesting question about a topic or something. It's what I did and it's a great way to break the awkwardness.
« Last Edit: August 01, 2019, 04:48:46 pm by DrDusk »
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K888

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Re: Pressure to drink in uni
« Reply #9 on: August 01, 2019, 04:46:50 pm »
+3
This is so good to know, I was really scared there would be a massive push on drinking and parties. As a peeps my who finds it difficult to make new friends, like how do you start that conversation between someine at uni without it seeming werid.
Honestly, I 100% faced more pressure to drink in high school than I have in uni. In high school everyone was like "oh it's such a cool badass thing to do" because of the whole underage drinking thing. When you're an adult and it's legal people just don't really care - especially at uni, which I've found to be a pretty non-judgmental place. There's not so much of that pressure to fit in like there is in high school, so the subsequent peer pressure is significantly reduced.


Re: making friends at uni, it's a process. You just have to start talking to people (most people are pretty friendly). Smaller classes like tutes and pracs are a good starting point. It takes a while to build relationships - it's not like you're 12 anymore and can decide you want to be best mates with someone after spending one day with them haha. You have to get to know the person :) Took me probably most of first year to get a proper friendship going with my current uni friends, but everyone is different.
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Joseph41

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Re: Pressure to drink in uni
« Reply #10 on: August 01, 2019, 04:50:19 pm »
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Honestly, I 100% faced more pressure to drink in high school than I have in uni.

Yeah, same experience for me.
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Re: Pressure to drink in uni
« Reply #11 on: August 03, 2019, 06:39:04 pm »
+1
Context: I now complete non-drinker for two years, I used to drink 'socially' at weddings.

I am a very social and outgoing person. I am afraid that I will miss out and struggle to fit in during uni if I do not drink. To what extent is this true?
It depends on friends, events you like to go to but also yourself. If your friends get offended you don't drink then they will leave you out, but thats on them and not you. But generally it isn't a lot to worry about

If I do not drink, will I still be invited to parties and social events.
Yes you will. If you aren't getting invited, don't stress, it may not have to do with drinking and if it does you wouldn't want to go to those events in general.

Iím the type of person who would enjoy clubbing but how likely is it that my friends will accept me if I donít drink?
As others have said if they're your friends, they'll accept it. My club meetings are at the local pub and all of them have accepted I don't drink, no matter how much they insist on it (Which can be annoying sometimes, but thats another topic in general).

Also how common is it for uni students to avoid drinking? Is it very uncommon?
Its quite common, but its not noticed due to the events you may go to, the environment around you and who you hang out with. I tend to have a lot more mature aged uni student friend who rarely drink at all, so whenever I attend events with them, its more likely to have less uni student drinking. Now if your friends with like people who enjoy going to parties, raves, etc then maybe you'll feel that drinking is common. It really comes down to exposure and keeping an open mind.

Also are non alcoholics judged and made fun of or does it not matter?
Yes! They do. Its not your fault! Never ever feel you should drink because of this. The people who judge you aren't worth your time and are doing it because they feel insecure about themselves (in my experience anyway). I would say know your boundaries. I'm find with my friends shit talking me about it, but if a stranger did that to me I would feel uncomfortable. Know yourself and the person doing it. My friends all accept I don't drink and if they make fun of me for it, its purely for banter and lighthearted fun. But know the difference between them bantering with you and mocking you.

How much does uni social life revolve around drinking? Will I be missing out on a lot?
It revolves a lot around drinking. I won't lie about that. You could miss out a lot, but in my experience not going to another pub crawl, party, rave, festival, drinking tour, etc isn't going to kill your social life. Take in moderation and balance. My friends still invite me to pub crawls because they like having me around and also they know I'll keep them in check from doing something stupid when they get drunk - as you do.

If I choose to drink, how can I hide this from my parents. (If Iím living with them)
I don't recommend hiding it but if you must know your limits. If you can only handle one shot of vodka for a night, then stick to it. You want to drink where your still relatively sober. But its hard to stick to that limit and I wouldn't advise hiding it at all nor drinking if your parents are against you doing it. But you can always have a discussion on you drinking if you feel your parents will change their stance for you.

My advice to you is to think by yourself and write down why you drink or not drink. Print it and put it somewhere where you can refer to it. I understand going against the norm is hard, whenever everyone else is doing it, but you are not everyone else. You are you. Do what you want and feel safe in your values of drinking or not drinking.
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