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June 26, 2019, 11:41:23 am

Author Topic: I don't even know what I want.. is that bad???  (Read 294 times)

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miss_ash_mash

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I don't even know what I want.. is that bad???
« on: April 15, 2019, 05:41:42 pm »
+3
okaY sO longish post ahead ma bad
My whole life I've just assumed I wanted to do something medically related. I veered into wanting to specialise in cardiology and then veterinary sciences and then dentistry but I always came back to the concept of medicine. And I guess it was probably because my family is literally made up of (successful) people in the medical field. Grandparents are specialised doctors (my grandfather owns a private hospital you guys I'm shook ???) .. my aunts are vets.. my uncle is a medical researcher.. my mom's a nurse. And we're Indian on top of all that family history so like culturally I'm EXPECTED to be a doctor of sorts (its that or get married off to a guy as soon as I hit 22 and that's NOT happening).

But I never really had a problem with that... I've been studying to ace science and maths basically my whole school life... I've got tutors and I'm going to all these lectures (last Saturday I was at RMIT for 8 hourse.. EIGHT) I just don't know anymore though.. because I've been so focused on reading and studying I've sort of worked myself into a corner. People know me, but my friendship circle isn't that extensive. I don't have that many hobbies outside of school.. my mom doesn't let me go out anyways. I don't even know if I want to do medicine anymore but even if I decided I don't, I don't KNOW what I want to do?? I've never tried out anything else.. no sports or clubs or anything un-science related tbh..

I've decided to just go on doing what I'm doing now.. aiming to get into Monash Med but I'm so scared and stressed. What if I end up failing and then I just get stuck because yeah there are other ways of getting thru med but how long will I want to spend my life going for something I'm unsure about?? Or worse what if I get in and thru and then I hate myself for the rest of my life bc I'm in a profession I hate? Even worse what if my family disowns me if I don't even try for medicine?? It's seeming like a LOSE-LOSE-LOSE situation to me rn

I'm not sure exactly what help I'm asking for but uh...

HELP :'(

avocadinq

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Re: I don't even know what I want.. is that bad???
« Reply #1 on: April 15, 2019, 07:28:03 pm »
+5
okaY sO longish post ahead ma bad
My whole life I've just assumed I wanted to do something medically related. I veered into wanting to specialise in cardiology and then veterinary sciences and then dentistry but I always came back to the concept of medicine. And I guess it was probably because my family is literally made up of (successful) people in the medical field. Grandparents are specialised doctors (my grandfather owns a private hospital you guys I'm shook ???) .. my aunts are vets.. my uncle is a medical researcher.. my mom's a nurse. And we're Indian on top of all that family history so like culturally I'm EXPECTED to be a doctor of sorts (its that or get married off to a guy as soon as I hit 22 and that's NOT happening).

But I never really had a problem with that... I've been studying to ace science and maths basically my whole school life... I've got tutors and I'm going to all these lectures (last Saturday I was at RMIT for 8 hourse.. EIGHT) I just don't know anymore though.. because I've been so focused on reading and studying I've sort of worked myself into a corner. People know me, but my friendship circle isn't that extensive. I don't have that many hobbies outside of school.. my mom doesn't let me go out anyways. I don't even know if I want to do medicine anymore but even if I decided I don't, I don't KNOW what I want to do?? I've never tried out anything else.. no sports or clubs or anything un-science related tbh..

I've decided to just go on doing what I'm doing now.. aiming to get into Monash Med but I'm so scared and stressed. What if I end up failing and then I just get stuck because yeah there are other ways of getting thru med but how long will I want to spend my life going for something I'm unsure about?? Or worse what if I get in and thru and then I hate myself for the rest of my life bc I'm in a profession I hate? Even worse what if my family disowns me if I don't even try for medicine?? It's seeming like a LOSE-LOSE-LOSE situation to me rn

I'm not sure exactly what help I'm asking for but uh...

HELP :'(

Hey there,

It is completely fine if you don't know what you want to do in the future because at some point, you will figure it out. Go to different universities and their respective open days/uni experience days, and feel it out. Find out what you do and don't like about each university/course, because it will help you narrow down your choices and most importantly, what you want to do in the future. Or maybe talk to people who are currently studying medicine (or your desired course) and ask them as many questions as you like, whether it is through open days or careers expos. There is plenty of time to try out some new sports, find some new hobbies, make some new friends because besides studying, it is also important to have fun and maybe find your passions which is easier said than done. While your course choices are important, remember that your course is not permanent and often, it is quite easy to transfer between courses (unless if it's medicine - but even then you can do medicine as a postgraduate degree). I understand the cultural expectations of doing medicine at Monash or at any university in general, but please do not let it determine your course choices. Even though I am an advocate for trying new things, medicine is difficult and if you are not 100% sure whether you want to do medicine, why choose it in the first place? Do not choose medicine to please your family or out of the fear of being disowned because it is far better to be studying a course that you are passionate in as opposed to studying a course that you aren't as passionate in. Rather, take the time to figure out what course you truly want to study or choose other alternatives in case if you do not get into monash med the first time round.

Good luck!
- avocadinq

« Last Edit: April 15, 2019, 07:30:56 pm by avocadinq »
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Ionic Doc

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Re: I don't even know what I want.. is that bad???
« Reply #2 on: April 15, 2019, 07:43:45 pm »
+1
okaY sO longish post ahead ma bad
My whole life I've just assumed I wanted to do something medically related. I veered into wanting to specialise in cardiology and then veterinary sciences and then dentistry but I always came back to the concept of medicine. And I guess it was probably because my family is literally made up of (successful) people in the medical field. Grandparents are specialised doctors (my grandfather owns a private hospital you guys I'm shook ???) .. my aunts are vets.. my uncle is a medical researcher.. my mom's a nurse. And we're Indian on top of all that family history so like culturally I'm EXPECTED to be a doctor of sorts (its that or get married off to a guy as soon as I hit 22 and that's NOT happening).

But I never really had a problem with that... I've been studying to ace science and maths basically my whole school life... I've got tutors and I'm going to all these lectures (last Saturday I was at RMIT for 8 hourse.. EIGHT) I just don't know anymore though.. because I've been so focused on reading and studying I've sort of worked myself into a corner. People know me, but my friendship circle isn't that extensive. I don't have that many hobbies outside of school.. my mom doesn't let me go out anyways. I don't even know if I want to do medicine anymore but even if I decided I don't, I don't KNOW what I want to do?? I've never tried out anything else.. no sports or clubs or anything un-science related tbh..

I've decided to just go on doing what I'm doing now.. aiming to get into Monash Med but I'm so scared and stressed. What if I end up failing and then I just get stuck because yeah there are other ways of getting thru med but how long will I want to spend my life going for something I'm unsure about?? Or worse what if I get in and thru and then I hate myself for the rest of my life bc I'm in a profession I hate? Even worse what if my family disowns me if I don't even try for medicine?? It's seeming like a LOSE-LOSE-LOSE situation to me rn

I'm not sure exactly what help I'm asking for but uh...

HELP :'(

damn I feel for you
your nearly near the finish line though so don't stop!
and stressing is normal during  the VCE, it actually pushes you to perform your best (psych related content) but don't let it get to you! I'm sure you've heard countless times that VCE is not the end ( well for people like u and me it might be #indian/asian families) but it really isn't . . . just try your BesST.
I feel like having a course that you want to get into is like setting a goal, but if you don't know what u wanna do than just go for that HIGH ATAR. Than you have access to infinite opportunities ( assuming you satisfy prerequisites)
besides that I envy your medical family   ;)
that's ultimately my goal 
Besides that GOOD LUCK   ;D
« Last Edit: April 15, 2019, 07:47:54 pm by Ionic Doc »
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cooldude123

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Re: I don't even know what I want.. is that bad???
« Reply #3 on: April 15, 2019, 08:00:04 pm »
+4
hey I know it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders Ė from your familyís and your own expectations and that youíre basically expecting to make decisions seemingly for the rest of your life, and that it feels like itís monash med or nothing

But remember that no-one and nothing can really guarantee you happiness or success, whether itís through doing med or otherwise. Med itself is a damn tough and long and stressful career that deals with some really heavy stuff. If you feel like youíre not in the right headspace to make that decision Ė it might be worth taking the time to explore some other interests (like seriously trying out some hobbies or a sport can help a lot), or even consider therapy/counselling.

Logistically speaking, choosing to study something else and coming back to do postgrad med is pretty common nowadays, so donít ever feel like youíre locking yourself out for the rest of your life if you donít feel like doing med for now
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AngelWings

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Re: I don't even know what I want.. is that bad???
« Reply #4 on: April 15, 2019, 10:19:41 pm »
+6
Hey miss_ash_mash!

Bit of a dilemma you have there, but youíre not alone. I was pretty unsure of what I wanted to study after high school and my preferences ranged from science to architecture to arts (humanities). Itís absolutely OK to not know what you want, especially if youíre young. Heck, loads of people still donít know what they want and theyíll be finished high school or uni! Itís a lot harder when expectations and familial pressure, however unintentional or intentional, get mixed in, but youíll be the one doing your future degree and you might as well be satisfied with it.

My suggestion is to try some different activities in your spare time. They donít have to be time-consuming or consistent. Trying small things (e.g. drawing) and researching something of interest online doesnít take much time and can be a good way to start skimming to see if anything is to your liking beyond what you already know.

Another suggestion is if youíre in Year 10 or younger, try to take classes or perhaps join clubs/ extracurricular activities that are a little out of your comfort zone. If youíre in Year 11/12, you can try to read about something else that piques your interest or watch YouTube videos about an area besides those you're used to. Watching Netflix shows also might help. My point is: try to take little steps and try a little of everything until you hit some gold, using your spare time. I think experiencing something for yourself will help you convince yourself of what you'd rather be doing, whether that be med or not. Initially, medicine will feel like the only comfortable option for the future, but the more you venture out into the unknown, the more youíll be able to make a more informed decision.

Moreover, ask if youíre able to shadow one of your relatives at work or do some work experience in a medicine-oriented area (especially since itís the holidays right now). Doing so might help you realise if youíre cut out for a medicine career or if itís not for you. It might also help refine which discipline you'd be most interested in or aspects you like/ dislike.

I also agree with the responses above: checking out other courses, going to events and talking to other people in various courses might help to expand your options for future courses. You can also PM anyone you find interesting here on AN (ATARNotes) and ask them about their own courses and check out our uni journals, if you like. :) Postgrad med (i.e. studying med after another degree) and studying med interstate (whether it be undergrad or postgrad) might also be possible options, letting you have that extra bit of freedom and/or independence, if that's what you're after.
« Last Edit: April 15, 2019, 10:35:20 pm by AngelWings »
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Quantum44

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Re: I don't even know what I want.. is that bad???
« Reply #5 on: April 15, 2019, 10:50:47 pm »
+6
okaY sO longish post ahead ma bad
My whole life I've just assumed I wanted to do something medically related. I veered into wanting to specialise in cardiology and then veterinary sciences and then dentistry but I always came back to the concept of medicine. And I guess it was probably because my family is literally made up of (successful) people in the medical field. Grandparents are specialised doctors (my grandfather owns a private hospital you guys I'm shook ???) .. my aunts are vets.. my uncle is a medical researcher.. my mom's a nurse. And we're Indian on top of all that family history so like culturally I'm EXPECTED to be a doctor of sorts (its that or get married off to a guy as soon as I hit 22 and that's NOT happening).

But I never really had a problem with that... I've been studying to ace science and maths basically my whole school life... I've got tutors and I'm going to all these lectures (last Saturday I was at RMIT for 8 hourse.. EIGHT) I just don't know anymore though.. because I've been so focused on reading and studying I've sort of worked myself into a corner. People know me, but my friendship circle isn't that extensive. I don't have that many hobbies outside of school.. my mom doesn't let me go out anyways. I don't even know if I want to do medicine anymore but even if I decided I don't, I don't KNOW what I want to do?? I've never tried out anything else.. no sports or clubs or anything un-science related tbh..

I've decided to just go on doing what I'm doing now.. aiming to get into Monash Med but I'm so scared and stressed. What if I end up failing and then I just get stuck because yeah there are other ways of getting thru med but how long will I want to spend my life going for something I'm unsure about?? Or worse what if I get in and thru and then I hate myself for the rest of my life bc I'm in a profession I hate? Even worse what if my family disowns me if I don't even try for medicine?? It's seeming like a LOSE-LOSE-LOSE situation to me rn

I'm not sure exactly what help I'm asking for but uh...

HELP :'(

I understand that you are very stressed right now, and those feelings are completely valid. Doing VCE isnít easy, particularly with all the expectations your family has of you to succeed and become a doctor. With that being said, you have to recognise that you are young, and so much is going to change as you discover yourself and what the world has to offer.

If you get into Monash med straight out of high school, then thatís awesome. Youíll graduate with a great degree and more flexibility in career paths than you might imagine. You can go into a multitude of training programs, research, consulting, entrepreneurship or even something completely different. You also shouldnít discount the opportunities for personal growth in university. Medical degrees these days are not just about endless study, and you will find plenty of social/extracurricular activities to enjoy and use to develop yourself.

Itís also important to recognise that medicine is not the only path you can take. You donít want to aim to get into a degree because you were pressured to do it, particularly since it can create a very strong fear of failure. Monash med should be something you aspire towards because it aligns with your interests, but you should also discover the other career paths that can satisfy you, and understand that if medicine is your goal, there are plenty of ways to get there without Monash med.

I guess what Iím trying to say is that life is more flexible than you think, and donít believe that one decision is going to define you forever. Talk with your family, have a think about what you want in life, but donít stress about it. It may seem like everyone is in a race to get a degree and become employed, but sometimes you are better off taking the scenic route.
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