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September 19, 2020, 09:25:16 pm

Author Topic: Help with an ESL essay introduction - Complexities and subtleties of identity.  (Read 840 times)

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joshzeusdelaysla

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I need help writing an introduction for an ESL essay. (well, for the entire essay)
** I don't really know how to write an essay so any help would be appreciated**

So the question is:
"How does language used in your prescribed text ('Swallow the Air') express the complexities and subtleties of personal, social and cultural identity?"

so far, I only have this:

Language is a concept and the means in which life forces communicate with each other through speech, visual and written system. Language is a bridge that leads a person to learn and understand  a certain cultural group and the individuals within the bracket. Through the study of a particular language and culture, it starts to crystalize the reality that identity is complex and subtle. Identity is a network of interconnected elements which makes a person unique. Identity consists of personal, social and cultural facets which are influenced by the person’s relationship with others and the environment it is in. This is shown through Tara June Winch’s ‘Swallow the Air’ (2006) and Oodgeroo Noonuccal’s ‘We Look After Our Own’ (1990).

Thank you! :)

angewina_naguen

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I need help writing an introduction for an ESL essay. (well, for the entire essay)
** I don't really know how to write an essay so any help would be appreciated**

So the question is:
"How does language used in your prescribed text ('Swallow the Air') express the complexities and subtleties of personal, social and cultural identity?"

so far, I only have this:

Language is a concept and the means in which life forces communicate with each other through speech, visual and written system. Language is a bridge that leads a person to learn and understand  a certain cultural group and the individuals within the bracket. Through the study of a particular language and culture, it starts to crystalize the reality that identity is complex and subtle. Identity is a network of interconnected elements which makes a person unique. Identity consists of personal, social and cultural facets which are influenced by the person’s relationship with others and the environment it is in. This is shown through Tara June Winch’s ‘Swallow the Air’ (2006) and Oodgeroo Noonuccal’s ‘We Look After Our Own’ (1990).

Thank you! :)

Hey, joshzeusdelaysla!

Welcome to the forums! We'll start off with the introduction. It's written really well but as of current, it's defining terms in the question, as opposed to answering it. I saw in your other thread that you were having to trouble understanding the question so I believe that this was your way of breaking everything down simpler. Once again, it's done nicely but there's not much clarity on what exactly the "complexities" and "subtleties" within your text are. Look at the aspects of the text that are unique and convey ideas about the human condition, especially in terms of what contributes to our identity. What you would then do is introduce themes in your text that have complexities and subtleties explored such as belonging, displacement, acceptance and isolation. The two to three themes you choose will be a body paragraph each. The essay structure should look something like this;

- Introduction
- Body 1
- Body 2
- Body 3
- Conclusion

You should also look at how language has the power to change and inspire readers. The text serves as vessel for the author to express how they feel about themselves, their culture and the society in which they live in. What your essay should explore is how language is capable of not only expressing the qualities that make us human, but ways we can better ourselves and grow.

I also just wanted to ask if Noonuccal is your prescribed for ESL too? I thought you only studied one text in Module A and that Noonuccal was for Texts and Human Experiences. I don't know too much about the syllabus so correct me if I'm wrong  :) Hope that helps! Let me know if you have any further questions.

Angelina  ;D

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joshzeusdelaysla

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Hey,

Thank you so much for the help.

I reconstructed my introduction and added in some stuff. Can you please check it:

Language is a concept and the means in which life forces communicate with each other through speech, visual and written system. Language is a fundamental bridge that enables a person to learn and understand a certain cultural group and the individuals within the bracket. Through the study of a particular language, it starts to crystalize the reality that identity is complex and subtle shown through its ever-changing and intricate nature. Identity is a network of interconnected elements which makes a person unique. Identity consists of personal, social and cultural facets which are influenced by the person’s relationship with each other and the environment it is in. Tara Winch’s ‘Swallow the Air’ (2016) demonstrates the complex and subtle nature of multiple identities through the protagonists’ relationships with others and connection with the ‘land.’ In addition, Oodgeroo Noonuccal’s ‘We Look After Our Own’ (1990) further explores the theory shown how convoluted identities are.

Also, I'm having trouble with the first paragraph. I can't expand my first sentence but I have my analysis on it. Do you have any suggestions?

An individual’s personal identity relies on its relationships with others. ---

On the chapter ‘Leaving Paradise’, May stated “… and the more he wasn’t there, the more I realised too, we were all gone.” The phrase explicitly demonstrates the protagonists’ strong connection with his brother shown through the interrelatedness of ‘he’ and ‘we’ as gone. In addition, the clause exhibits a well-built family relationship shown through family inclusion by using words such as “too”, “we” and “all.” However, in respect to a strong links within the family, the exposure to identity loss magnified as a member’s identity becomes part of another. Thus, the sentence displayed a loss of a fragment of May’s identity when Billy abandoned the home. For that reason, personal identity is proved to be complex.

Thank you so much!