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August 05, 2021, 03:52:21 am

Author Topic: I'll Figure it Out  (Read 13668 times)

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catpacksnapback

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Re: I'll Figure it Out
« Reply #75 on: March 24, 2020, 02:16:37 pm »
+9
Hey hey! Thanks so much!

March 24, Who Even Knows, 2020
The first thing I want to do is to share a resource - MyNoise - that I feel isn't very well-known, or at least not as well-known as it should be. If anything has helped me keep my sanity, it's the sound of rain, thunder, and just about everything else that has been mysteriously absent from our weather forecast. I listen to it while I study and I hope you find it useful too.


It's week 8. Or 7. I'm admittedly not entirely sure! 'Unusual times' echoes constantly now and here I am, echoing it yet again. I hope that you are staying safe, forum reader. It's times like these that make me glad that I have become accustomed to independent learning, but in the interest of helping out where I can, if there's any support I can offer as a student of online schooling, feel free to message me.

My only Year 12 SAC so far has been Literature. I performed alright in the practice, but I have surely dented my study score in my dismal final performance. I'm not sure when feedback will be coming through but I have been trying to distract myself, which resulted in a stint of 2 novels completed in 2 days.

Upcoming are the first biology and chemistry SACs for this year. They're daunting and their due date has been, fortunately, pushed back. Although I intended on studying in advance of these today, a migraine is turning everything I read inside out, so once I have posted this, I might try to sleep it off. Right now, things are pretty standard; it's just hard to feel motivated when you feel as if nothing you read will stay in your head for longer than a few minutes.

That being said, the moment I can, I intend on reading about fuel cells, significant figures, and respiration. These three topics have been weighing on me since last year and understanding them happens to be pivotal to succeeding in the upcoming SACs. To those of you who have SACs too - I'm wishing you the best of luck! And, of course, to be safe and mindful of yourself and others around you.
Panicking.

2018: Media 1/2
2019: Psychology 1/2, Biology 1/2, Literature 1/2, Chemistry 1/2
2020: Biology 3/4, Literature 3/4, Chemistry 3/4, Math Methods 1/2
The Future
2021: ???
Goal: ?
Class of 2021

J_Rho

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Re: I'll Figure it Out
« Reply #76 on: March 24, 2020, 02:30:36 pm »
+5
YAYYY an update!
The first thing I want to do is to share a resource - MyNoise - that I feel isn't very well-known, or at least not as well-known as it should be.
YES! I love this! It should be so much more well known!

It's week 8. Or 7. I'm admittedly not entirely sure! 'Unusual times' echoes constantly now and here I am, echoing it yet again. I hope that you are staying safe, forum reader. It's times like these that make me glad that I have become accustomed to independent learning, but in the interest of helping out where I can, if there's any support I can offer as a student of online schooling, feel free to message me.
And the same goes for you! Make sure you reach out when you need it whether that be academically or mentally/emotionally :)


VCE
English 29, Further Maths 32, Biology 31, Legal Studies 26, Psychology 32

University
Bachelor of Nursing @ Monash

brothanathan

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Re: I'll Figure it Out
« Reply #77 on: April 02, 2020, 12:20:36 am »
+2
Love things that help keep one's sanity, thanks for the recommendation  :)

catpacksnapback

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Re: I'll Figure it Out
« Reply #78 on: July 21, 2020, 10:46:32 am »
+8
June 21, Semester 2 Week 2, 2020
The best thing about online schooling is that you tend to live in this weird otherworldly pocket of existence that is relatively untouched by the goings-on of The Real World; but that doesn't mean this year hasn't been batshit crazy.

Hey guys! I'm sorry for neglecting this journal so much. There's just not much to say (or at least nothing that isn't a little depressing, and we've all got enough depressing right now I'm sure!) - but I figured I should update that I am unfortunately still kicking, and the state of my subjects, for what resonance it could be worth.

Unfortunately, apathy seems to be one of the more unmentioned symptoms of worsening chronic illness and, although I haven't been failing my subjects (surprisingly!), I haven't enjoyed working on them in quite some time. I'm glad that I'm still.. enrolled? I'm really dreading the exams and GAT and what-have-you but hey, what can you do. I've been in a strange state of trying to balance "how can I drop out if I'm not in a healthy enough state to work/but then how can I go to uni if I'm like This," but as of present I've just been trudging through it; I don't really have any other options. The pandemic has practically effected me in no way whatsoever, but indirectly, any investigation towards my health has ceased completely and I've been quietly sort of.. festering away since last year. That's fine, though!

Unrelated to study, which is miserable, I built a computer (it's rainbow and fantastic) some time recently and my setup is doused in pink. Literally doused. It's cute. I got four teeth taken out last week and haven't really eaten since then but I think that's my fault for having a really sensitive face. Getting braces this afternoon. Fantastic.

Um.. so yeah! I'm alive. I'm glad you guys are alive too. I'm going to go and try and do some Methods (I really, really don't know or remember why I'm doing this subject. I don't like or plan on reading my own writing, but my reason for taking the subject is probably concealed in one of my earlier entries here) - Chemistry has been something of a nightmare, additionally; electrochemistry is the bane of my existence and I got my worst grade in school so far on one of those SACs last semester. I don't remember what it was and that's probably for the best.

The more that I think about it, the more I realise the true purpose of this journal might ultimately be a cautionary story for fellow students - a manual as to what not to do, you know? I don't think this is going to end well. But I hope my short-comings could serve some benefit to anyone else in the future. That would be a good silver lining, I think. : )
Panicking.

2018: Media 1/2
2019: Psychology 1/2, Biology 1/2, Literature 1/2, Chemistry 1/2
2020: Biology 3/4, Literature 3/4, Chemistry 3/4, Math Methods 1/2
The Future
2021: ???
Goal: ?
Class of 2021

Bri MT

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Re: I'll Figure it Out
« Reply #79 on: July 21, 2020, 11:50:08 am »
+7
Hey,

Thanks for updating!


I think it's hard with the pandemic to really assess the impact that it has since there's a lot of background stress and changes in support availability that aren't always obvious; it's easy for things to compound on top of each other.

is this the first time you've built a computer? how did you find the process?

I'm glad you're still trudging through & you're alive - I hope you don't need to deal with this apathy for too much longer.


Even when you're struggling you're looking for benefits for others and I think that's something you should actively remember about yourself :)

Poet

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Re: I'll Figure it Out
« Reply #80 on: July 21, 2020, 12:34:26 pm »
+7
Hey! So glad you're still with us, friend.

Mood about the chronic sickness and I feel you on the whole 'braces a week after surgery' thing. I barely ate after my surgery and vomited up what I did try to ingest a few times - surgery really just puts your whole body out of wack, and it'll be a couple more weeks before you're back to (almost) normal.

Echoing Bri, you may not feel as if the pandemic has affected you, but even the little things can build up and really play a role in bringing your mood and general well-being even further down.

It's awesome to hear about your computer - could we get a pic of the setup if you're comfortable?

Sending love and support your way. The apathy is hard to deal with but it's not forever.
Thoughts are only thoughts.
They are not you. You do belong to yourself,
even when your thoughts don't.

Dealing with Year 12 - Put Your Mental Health at the Forefront
A Little Guide to Healthy Eating

catpacksnapback

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Re: I'll Figure it Out
« Reply #81 on: October 02, 2020, 10:59:29 am »
+8
Hey folks! I'm just stopping by to stick a quick post here. Apologies for being uncommunicative.

If I'm being honest, things aren't good. I'm starting to fail my SACs and might not pass Methods 1 & 2, but that's okay, because I don't think I'm going to pass my 3 & 4 subjects either. I've failed every practice exam I've tried with worsening scores and my health is getting worse faster than I've ever seen. My doctor's final suggestion is that I should try hypnosis.

I don't want to get into medicine. I don't see anything in it anymore; for every life it saves or improves, it seems like there's a league of thousands left confused, lost, disappointed, depressed, or dead. I never wanted the confidence that authority gives people, I don't want a fancy car, and I know that - if I were in the practice - I would be able to help people as much as medicine has helped me. Very little, or not at all.
Sometimes we have to recognise when something is beyond our capacity and we don't like how disillusionment feels. It's disappointing when you're used to succeeding or performing above average, but it would be totally irresponsible to force vulnerable people to receive inadequate care just because I wanted to 'prove' something to myself. I don't think it's sensible to pursue this pathway anymore; nor do I think it's justified.

But what a year it's been, hey? You stars keep on shining. Take care of yourselves out there. x
Panicking.

2018: Media 1/2
2019: Psychology 1/2, Biology 1/2, Literature 1/2, Chemistry 1/2
2020: Biology 3/4, Literature 3/4, Chemistry 3/4, Math Methods 1/2
The Future
2021: ???
Goal: ?
Class of 2021

catpacksnapback

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Re: I'll Figure it Out
« Reply #82 on: January 01, 2021, 05:25:59 pm »
+6
Happy new year! I think I should post here too.
I'm honestly too ashamed of my results to share them. When you get the worst possible outcome you had set yourself up for, it kind of leaves you feeling lost as to where to go. My second year of VCE begins today and I don't know what to do; I hardly broke 30 in any of my subjects and my best score was well under 40.

Being sick fucking sucks. Nothing I can do this year will fix these results and that's just something I get to live with. Based on ATAR predictions (and obviously study-score specific prerequisites), not one of the courses I was interested in - from my dream course to the fallback-fallback-fallback course - would accept me.

I hope you folks had a lovely holidays (despite the stress anticipation causes!). I just wish I could go back in time, I'd rather not know!
« Last Edit: January 01, 2021, 05:32:48 pm by catpacksnapback »
Panicking.

2018: Media 1/2
2019: Psychology 1/2, Biology 1/2, Literature 1/2, Chemistry 1/2
2020: Biology 3/4, Literature 3/4, Chemistry 3/4, Math Methods 1/2
The Future
2021: ???
Goal: ?
Class of 2021

Evolio

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Re: I'll Figure it Out
« Reply #83 on: January 08, 2021, 05:06:37 pm »
+4
Hey catpacksnapback.

I just wanted to say congrats on completing those subjects and for getting through this year. Although you are disappointed with your results, know that you tried your absolute best and that's what matters. This year is another opportunity and if it's not yours, you'll have next year.

I hope you have a great holidays too!
« Last Edit: January 08, 2021, 05:58:18 pm by Evolio »

catpacksnapback

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Re: I'll Figure it Out
« Reply #84 on: March 03, 2021, 08:21:41 am »
+6
Thanks so much for your kind words, Evolio :) I hope you've been well.

----

I didn't realize it had been quite a while since I sent anything here until now, so I thought to update...

As expected, things have been kind of nightmarish. My workload is a lot lower, but the state of my health is much worse, so it tracks that it feels just as difficult, if not moreso, to get by. Our first SAC was on Week 3 (my earliest SAC ever!) for HHD - it lasted thirty minutes (my.. shortest SAC ever!) and I didn't feel ready or awake as I took it. Our next SAC is next week - psych.
A mantra to get me by.
My eighteenth birthday is in a couple of weeks. I have another SAC that week and honestly I'm not looking forward to any part of it. These days are more like milestones by which my only celebration is that it's been another year of deteriorating, and that I have more years to look forward to of the same bullshit - but that's just me being cynical. If anything, I've started getting over my results: if I continue getting worse, it doesn't matter what my results are; I should not set the bar higher than what I am, or ever will be, capable of.




Everything aside, I have been trying to organise a more cohesive system of communication for students at VSV. It might be clear from how I talk, but as of right now, I don't personally know a single one of my classmates, nor have I ever spoken to them. The LMS is great for reading the course material, but you are barred from contacting other students of the school (I can understand why, to be fair) with the exception of online classes or the archaic forum through which teachers post updates (the latter being reserved only for this function). The classes, additionally, may have the chat disabled - if not, almost universally, students are prohibited from talking amongst themselves. None of this is particularly strange - you're not supposed to talk in class, after all; but there's no recess or lunch at VSV.

The only time I've known my classmates was under the rare and fortunate circumstance where I managed to get into contact with a few of them through a seminar held at the campus (and if you happen to see this, you know who you are - I would not have survived chemistry without your advice and comraderie). Obviously, these events have been cancelled until the forseeable future, and this time last year, I recall, we had the last.

That being said: I am not a social person. I do not like talking to people. I'm sick, irritable, socially inept, and deeply introverted by inclination. However, I think these are overshadowed by the need for student communication (for those who wish for it) in Virtual School Victoria. If I can't offer intellect or kindness to my cohort, the very least I can do is bring those who can and need these together. That's why I've been trying to arrange a student-led community this past couple of months, and I think I might try and post something about that in one of the other sub-forums here; see if I can get some students who are interested. Unfortunately, the best I could do is a strictly moderated Discord instance, but I think even that could be worthwhile. We'll see.


Stay safe (and warm! I've been wrestling with the fireplace lately, trying to remember how.. fire works). Thanks for tuning in :)
Panicking.

2018: Media 1/2
2019: Psychology 1/2, Biology 1/2, Literature 1/2, Chemistry 1/2
2020: Biology 3/4, Literature 3/4, Chemistry 3/4, Math Methods 1/2
The Future
2021: ???
Goal: ?
Class of 2021