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November 21, 2019, 07:42:41 am

Author Topic: The Yr12 journey- a diary I "hope" to update...  (Read 5199 times)

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r1ckworthy

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The Yr12 journey- a diary I "hope" to update...
« on: February 14, 2019, 10:44:06 pm »
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Hello all,

I have been thinking about whether to actually a journal ever since I've discovered ATAR notes (earlier this year during the January lectures), and after reading so many, I think I am going to give it a try.

My aim for this year is to try and get into medicine in New South Wales. Why? Well, here's the explanation below (bout to get deep, skip if you like):

Spoiler
In terms of my life, I haven't really done anything memorable or life impacting. The way I've see it, I have been an average guy for my whole life. So, if I do become a doctor, I would actually help someone. I would ACTUALLY help someone. Like, for real. I basically relieve someone of pain they have been experiencing. And while that seems insufficient, I guess I can be proud that I have been the one to let them live a bit more happy and give them hope for a long life. And, for an average guy, that's seems fantastic. The idea of relieving someone of the suffering they've been going through makes me a bit more content, and a bit more satisfied. A bit more satisfied of the fact that I have actually helped someone.

Sorry if that did not make sense. I guess as I keep journaling, I'll get more comfortable being myself. Anyways, back to reality, the main purpose of this journal is to update it with events of the week and how I've been feeling. I also hope you all who are reading this will remind me to journal as well ;D ;D ;D.

Right now, my assessment marks are really good. I've only gotten two back, and so far, they're pretty alright:
Physics: 27.9/30
Ancient History: 18.8/20

I also have been studying relatively hard for the past few days. But I also have a tendency to procrastinate a lot. And I mean a lot. Take today. Ever since I got home, I haven't touched anything, except watch a few study questions and read through NESA's sample papers. So I hope by updating this journal and seeing how much progress I've made, I would be motivated to start work back up again.

I guess that's all for now. There's one more thing I've been meaning to get off my chest though. I've put it in the spoiler. It's something that's been going on in my mind for the whole day.
Spoiler
I'm not sure if I like my class. My school is really small, and so there are only 25 people in my class (you think that's bad, well last year there were only 8 people in year 12 ;D[) What I mean't to say is that I'm just not sure if I like it. I feel as if I have to keep an act together in order to fit in and avoid looking bad. The friends I have are great, but they are just not like me. I guess they're more social and more extroverted, while I'm more of an introvert. I tend to be alone for most of the time, sitting at the back of the classroom and watching on. One or two of them do ask me if I am depressed when I am in this mood, which is super nice of them, but I can't seem to tell them what is bothering me, even when I know what is going on. I guess I dislike the culture surrounding my school. I'm not too sure what to say. Today, for instance, I was silent for the whole morning. I was thinking too much about life in general, and I would not like to reveal my view until much later into the year when I'm much more comfortable. Also, there was this girl whom I kind of wanted to talk to but couldn't really gather up the strength to chat with her. I guess that's also weighing me down as well. I would say I'm an emotional thinker, where I become too entangled in my thoughts. I guess what I truly desire is to make newer, more diverse friends. Like, meet people who are so different yet so relatable to me. I love my current friends, don't get me wrong, but I think I would like to make newer ones. This desire, I guess, started when I went to a leadership camp for three days (known as the Mitchell Youth leadership forum), and I quickly recognised how there was a world outside of my school, and that I am missing out on a lot of fun. Now, this might not be true, but I feel like it is. And the truth is, I do not agree with my school's personal beliefs
(which I won't mention here) and I feel different to others. Now, don't get me wrong. The people here are great. The teachers can be super nice most of the time and super inspiring ( and some classmates as well) but I am kind of awkward in their company most of the time. I don't really know how to express it. So that's my dilemma right now. Super long, I now, and i commend you for reading it ;D ;D ;D. Maybe you guys can help me out??? And please, give me some tough love and tell me what you think, even if you think it would hurt my feelings. I am open to anything to improve.


So yeah, this is my journal for the rest of the year. I hope to do this at least once every week, and update you all with what's going on. If you didn't notice, I'm not too clear in the way I talk, so if any of this doesn't make sense, I don't blame you ;D ;D ;D. I'll update this tomorrow (I hope) and tell you guys more tomorrow.

And please, just reply with any advice you have got for me. As I mentioned before, give me some touch love (sorry if that sounds cheesy), even though you think it might hurt my feelings. I intend to use this thread to grow as a person, and I hope you all will help me do exactly that :).

And finally, to end a really long post, I would like to apologise if any of this sounds irrelevant or cringe. Really really sorry about that. Whatever it is, I congratulate all of you who have read through this, and I wish you best of luck for the upcoming year.

BTW it's already the end of week three of school!!! Time is moving by so fast!!!

HSC 2019: English Advanced || Mathematics || Mathematics Extension 1 || Physics || Chemistry || Science Extension || Ancient History ||

The Yr12 journey- a diary I "hope" to update... || Halfway through Year 12... lessons I've learned so far. || Check out my youtube channel!

Bri MT

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Re: The Yr12 journey- a diary I "hope" to update...
« Reply #1 on: February 15, 2019, 10:27:45 am »
+2
Hey!

Thanks for starting up a journal - it's been a good read so far :)
Hearing about your career aspirations was nice - it's always great to see people finding motivation in helping others.  I would say though,  that medicine is one way to be altruistic and help people but definitely not the only one!  Consider your options and try not to feel 'trapped in' :)
My course is all about using science to make an impact & before interviews I like to remind applicants that if you're driven to make an impact you will - even without the backing of a particular course. 

Sounds like the social environment at uni might be a good place for you though,  with the diversity of people brought together by shared interest/drive.

It's kind of hard for me to hurt your feelings by giving you critical feedback because from reading (including spoilers) I didn't see anything that should be critiqued.

Best of luck to you too!
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Joseph41

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Re: The Yr12 journey- a diary I "hope" to update...
« Reply #2 on: February 15, 2019, 10:32:10 am »
0
I'm really glad you've started this. :) Looking forward to reading today's update as promised. ;)

r1ckworthy

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Re: The Yr12 journey- a diary I "hope" to update...
« Reply #3 on: February 15, 2019, 04:49:39 pm »
+7
Hey all,

Just want to say a big thanks to those who have read the post. I would especially like to thank miniturtle and Angelwings for the great advice they've given. You guys rock!!!

Today was some day. Till the afternoon, I was really frustrated with a concept in physics. We had just finished the chapter, and while reviewing it, I couldn't fully understand it, which is incredibly frustrating. I hope to use tonight to try and fully understand the concept. In case you want to know, it was electromagnetism and the first chapter (a HSC question was stuffing me up, so I really became frustrated). This went on until maths, where we were doing parametrics. It took a while to grasp, but I finally got it, and my god it was such a good feeling.

In the afternoon I had a double study period, but I didn't really feel like doing much. I was listening to a classmate who was talking with my friend about his personal belief and trying to convince him that he should as well. I listened to him at first, but then argued strongly for the whole time, and it got pretty deep. I won't mention it here, but it was pretty weird at the end, where everything became kind of awkward. It did feel good though, because I had been thinking of this topic for a very long time, and it was necessary that we argue it out.
After school, though, we both came together and, while we did not apologise, we both hoped we didn't offend each other. That was pretty good as well.

I didn't really say much about myself in yesterday's post. I'm from Kerala, India and as you can guess, I am an introvert. I also love watching and making films as well. Before deciding to become a doctor, I had wanted to become a filmmaker really badly. But I soon realised that it was more of a hobby than a passion. I will try to make films after year 12, and my dream is to at least make 10 feature films during my lifetime. Watching films is a lot of fun, but I tend to analyse it too much and not 'experience' it. So that is a habit I need to stop. My favourite filmmakers are below:
Spoiler
(1) Alphonso Cuaron
(2) Alejandro Inarittu
(3) Stanely Kubrick
(4) Anurag Kashyap
and some more... ;D ;D ;D

I also like to watch a lot of TV shows, particularly the really deep ones. Here are some below:
Spoiler
(1) Rick and Morty (love this so much)
(2) Bojack Horseman
(3) Big Mouth
and then some ;D ;D ;D

So yeah, I better get to some studying. This weekend, I hope to finish reviewing module 5 for chemistry, master the concept in physics, write three practice essays for English and finish parametrics for 3 unit. I accelerated the 2U maths course last year and got 82. My assessment marks were really good, but I gave up two weeks before the actual HSC, which was terrible of me. It's an alright mark, and just finishing the course gave me a lot of confidence in maths, as I always thought I was going to drop it.

As always, thank you all for reading this, and I hope you have a great weekend ahead of you.

HSC 2019: English Advanced || Mathematics || Mathematics Extension 1 || Physics || Chemistry || Science Extension || Ancient History ||

The Yr12 journey- a diary I "hope" to update... || Halfway through Year 12... lessons I've learned so far. || Check out my youtube channel!

smamsmo22

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Re: The Yr12 journey- a diary I "hope" to update...
« Reply #4 on: February 16, 2019, 12:34:55 am »
+3
Hey,

I've enjoyed reading your journal so far and it's clear to see you're aiming high (and getting some great results!).
I'm very introverted too, and it's ok to be that way (: I know it's not revolutionary but if I could give you any advice in regards to dealing with your small cohort, I'd just say to make the most of the situation. There are obviously some downsides, but small cohorts can become really tight-knit which can be a great source of support for the year. The other students may not share a lot of beliefs with you but they are going through the same VCE journey and will understand your struggles better than anyone else :) And, as insanipi mentioned, it's likely you'll have a much larger cohort at uni and plenty of opportunities to meet with a massive variety of people with various personalities/beliefs/backgrounds. It's not far away now (:
I'm glad you had that discussion with the other student; talking to people with differing opinions and experiences is a great way to learn. It's good to hear you're engaging more with your classmates like you wanted to!!

Hopefully that advice (??) is somewhat helpful; I'm excited to hear more about your achievements and experiences! Good luck :D
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r1ckworthy

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Re: The Yr12 journey- a diary I "hope" to update...
« Reply #5 on: February 18, 2019, 09:42:19 pm »
+4
Hey smamsmo22 (love that name : ;D),
Thanks very much for the advice. It was certainly very helpful. I'll try to keep close to my cohort, but I'm not sure now. I don't really relate to any of them but I'll certainly try. I just can't wait for university, and I really hope to meet new people and meet friends with my kind of thinking and hobbies. Thanks again for the advice  :D :D :D.

In terms of the weekend, I didn't do as much work as I wanted to. However, I did spend some time with my family, which was great. The procrastination problem is really bugging me though. I spent most of the weekend trying to figure out how to study for different subjects, but was wasted. I nailed it down to what I will have to do in the HSC exam for those subjects. So for chemistry, I am just going to try and answer as many questions as I can, so as to apply my knowledge.

I really have a problem with procrastination. Maybe I'm being sort of hard on myself, but I don't think it is so. Today morning I woke up at 5:30ish and did some chemistry questions, which was great. But the evening when I got back from school, I only did some stuff, and had to go out with family again. When I got back from dinner, I couldn't really bring myself to study. I've read the procrastination guide by Joseph41, and I did feel motivated at the time, but it quickly wore out. I think I am going back to my days at yr11, where I wasted most of my days and got an average mark. I'm really worried, and I hope you guys can provide some advice to cope with this. I don't want to waste these days anymore, and I feel like if I continue I'll go down really bad.

Other than that, school is alright in general. The guy who I talked about in my last post is kind of bugging me with his beliefs, and is constantly trying to 'convert' me to his belief, if you get what I mean. I've known him for the past few years, so I know he is wanting the best for me, but sometimes it is really annoying. It was times like this when I wish the world and life was just so much simpler. I was bugged out about my beliefs as well, and in the middle of my work I went and researched the topic we were arguing about. It's a very touchy one, so I won't mention it here.

Other than that, school was alright. I'm really enjoying physics right now, and I'm understanding everything. It's so interesting, electromagnetism. I feel like it's the only subject where I get truly in "the zone" and stop worrying about people. I've had ideas of pursuing a physics degree then doing medicine postgrad in the holidays, so that's an idea. However, that's far away so I guess we'll see what happens.

So yeah, that's my week so far. I desperately need help with my procrastination problem, so please any advice will be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!!!

« Last Edit: February 18, 2019, 09:51:38 pm by r1ckworthy »
HSC 2019: English Advanced || Mathematics || Mathematics Extension 1 || Physics || Chemistry || Science Extension || Ancient History ||

The Yr12 journey- a diary I "hope" to update... || Halfway through Year 12... lessons I've learned so far. || Check out my youtube channel!

r1ckworthy

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Re: The Yr12 journey- a diary I "hope" to update...
« Reply #6 on: February 22, 2019, 05:59:31 pm »
+7
Hey all,

hope everyone had a great week. Like I mentioned earlier, I still have the procrastination problem. However, I've been reading some articles and am going to try out a new tactic.

At the start of everyday, I am going to write down a plan for the whole day. As the day goes on, I will constantly be adjusting the times if something comes up. This way, I know what I need to do for the rest of the day and will constantly keep me on my toes. So I am going to try it today, and see if it works. Here is the plan for today:

6-7: Resting a bit, maybe taking a nap.
7-8: Complete one section of my chemistry research task
8-8.30: Eat dinner (my family eats really late)
8.30-9.30: Complete and send my teacher my physics assignment
9.30-10.10: Complete an english essay under 40 mins ( an essay now takes me about 1 hr, so I am trying to cut down)
10.20-11.00: Complete some english hwk.

I plan to update you guys tomorrow, and write down the timetable. I'll also tell you what is happening so far on sunday, or earlier if possible

Thanks for reading, and please leave some advice for procrastination ;D ;D
HSC 2019: English Advanced || Mathematics || Mathematics Extension 1 || Physics || Chemistry || Science Extension || Ancient History ||

The Yr12 journey- a diary I "hope" to update... || Halfway through Year 12... lessons I've learned so far. || Check out my youtube channel!

Bri MT

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Re: The Yr12 journey- a diary I "hope" to update...
« Reply #7 on: February 22, 2019, 08:43:57 pm »
+6
Hey,  I wrote a post about staying productive (link in sig) which contains some of my thoughts on procrastination - hopefully it's useful :) 

Looking at your planned schedule it's a bit full on - try to make sure you're getting enough sleep and taking care of your mental and physical health.

I'm not sure what you want for med but I got a 98 ATAR and certainly didn't do that much studying on a normal weekday. Just something to think about.
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r1ckworthy

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Re: The Yr12 journey- a diary I "hope" to update...
« Reply #8 on: February 24, 2019, 09:44:02 pm »
+9
Hey Miniturtle,

Read your productivity post, and it definitely motivated me. Yeah I know, my schedule is a bit full on, but I just don't want to regret not studying much, as that was one of my major regrets last year. However, I will try to balance it out, and I think I did kind of burn myself out this weekend.

So this week was pretty uneventful. As I mentioned in my last few posts, I procrastinated a lot. This weekend, I procrastinated a lot as well. Yesterday, I went to the PLC science summit with my science extension class. It was pretty alright. In my first workshop, I got paired up with my teacher and, forgetting my laptop, used his laptop to code and make cool faces on a tamagotchi. It was pretty fun. After that, the 2nd workshop looked at how animals distributed themselves between food sources. It is kind of hard to explain, but essentially I got to play around with fruit fly larvae, and place them in an agar plate and observe which food source they go to. It was cool as well. Overall, the summit was pretty alright, and we got some free food as well ;D ;D ;D.

After that, I came home, took a walk with my family, played with my dog and little sister, then came home and slept for two hours. I woke up and tried to do some work, but I failed miserably.

Today, I hoped to get a lot of work done. Didn't really. I had maths and english tuition today, which could have gone better. I did some work on my chemistry assessment (which is due this friday) and worked on a bit of physics. I have a school test tomorrow for the first two topics of electromagnetism. I spent some time trying to understand a concept, and that shouldn't have taken that long. I again went out and played with my dog and sister in the park, which was a lot of fun. I came back, ate some dinner, scrolled through reddit (gotta love that dank meme subreddit) and took a shower. I tried to do questions for the test tomorrow, and after 30 minutes couldn't really bring myself to do it. For the past few days, I have tried to push myself, and that certainly worked. Like yesterday night, I wrote a full essay (even though it took 1 hr instead of 40) and I was pretty happy with that. But today I can't bring myself to keep pushing one. I guess I have to just sit down and keep doing the questions. However, I feel as if there is a easier way to bring myself to do it.  I do enjoy physics, and I have done questions for a long time, but right now I feel tired and am not enjoying it.

Maybe I am pushing myself a bit too much, but the way I see it, I am behind. I hope to achieve the following this week:

(1) Finish 1-3 essays for english
(2) Complete practice and get really good at 3U parametrics
(3) Finish chemistry assessment task before wednesday.
(4) Finish physics revision by doing tonnes of questions.
(5) Update my scientific journal for science extension.

There are tonnes more, but that's it for now. I am going to try and push myself the following week, and see how much I could get done. I'll update throughout the week if anything cool or special pops up.
That's all for now. Thanks for reading!!!
HSC 2019: English Advanced || Mathematics || Mathematics Extension 1 || Physics || Chemistry || Science Extension || Ancient History ||

The Yr12 journey- a diary I "hope" to update... || Halfway through Year 12... lessons I've learned so far. || Check out my youtube channel!

Bri MT

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Re: The Yr12 journey- a diary I "hope" to update...
« Reply #9 on: February 25, 2019, 09:33:24 am »
+3
Hey r1ckworthy,

Glad to hear you found to useful :)  Fair enough - as long as you're willing to adjust aspects if needed to make it sustainable there's nothing wrong with having ambitious goals. I'd definitely say that you're pushing yourself to do a lot of work, and that even though you feel behind I doubt many others would see it that way.

I'm glad you had such a positive experience with the science summit and going outside :)

good luck for your tests!
« Last Edit: February 25, 2019, 09:38:58 am by miniturtle »
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r1ckworthy

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Re: The Yr12 journey- a diary I "hope" to update...
« Reply #10 on: March 02, 2019, 09:08:04 pm »
+6
Thanks miniturtle again. I know, I think I should wind back a little and even if I did plan to do it, I would usually not do it ::) ::) ::), as seen below.

This week was pretty depressing, straight up. Got all the assessments dumped on me, almost all of them due two weeks from now. I have a chemistry assessment I need to work on that's due this friday, so I've definitely worked on that this weekend. Anyways, it was pretty good but otherwise frustrating that I can't get enough work done. I seem to do the bare minimum, then do what I feel like. I've discovered, like the previous post, that I really need a plan on how to do things. Like for today, I procrastinated on my chemistry assessment until I wrote a plan on what to do. After that, I felt the motivation to work and I plan to do so after this post.

I'm gonna be honest. The planning I talked about in my last post I totally neglected this whole week. I don't even know why, I just did. I plan to get back on track though. The procrastination drug has hit hard yet again, but I think if I push through the first 10-15 minutes, than I can work effectively. So I am going to remind myself to push through. So the goal of this week is to push through and just try the activity I'm procrastinating on immediatly for atleast 10-15 minutes. If I still feel like shit, I'm going to take a walk around or just chill for a couple of minutes. I've also realised how lucky I am to have great parents as well. I've told this problem to my dad, and he said I just need to change my attitude and stop feeling like study is like work. I enjoy studying, but sometimes I just get so sick and tired of it, my attitude gets completely stuffed up. So another goal for this week is to just take a deep breath whenever I've procrastinating, and then try to change my thinking and push through. I think if I achieve these goals, I will feel much happier.

Other than that, school was alright. All of my classes are okay except maths x1. I'm alright with the content, but the class itself is so depressing, and most of my friends are in 2U, so it does get a bit lonely. I like maths a lot, but the class is kind of boring and my other classmates are bunched up together in their own friend circle, so it is just me at the side. However, I have to mention, this is the only class that I feel depressed, and most of my other classes I enjoy a lot with friends. My study periods weren't productive at all, but I did get to discuss a lot of topics with one of my teachers, particularly AI and how it works, microsoft hololens, that kind of stuff. It is a lot of fun, and he is extremely smart at what he does. That was one of the highlights this week, and I hope to have more discussions with him in the future.

Anyways, that's all for this week, I'll probably update during the week or next weekend. Thanks for reading!! ;D ;D ;D

HSC 2019: English Advanced || Mathematics || Mathematics Extension 1 || Physics || Chemistry || Science Extension || Ancient History ||

The Yr12 journey- a diary I "hope" to update... || Halfway through Year 12... lessons I've learned so far. || Check out my youtube channel!

PhoenixxFire

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Re: The Yr12 journey- a diary I "hope" to update...
« Reply #11 on: March 05, 2019, 09:23:47 pm »
+2
The procrastination drug has hit hard yet again, but I think if I push through the first 10-15 minutes, than I can work effectively. So I am going to remind myself to push through. So the goal of this week is to push through and just try the activity I'm procrastinating on immediately for at least 10-15 minutes. If I still feel like shit, I'm going to take a walk around or just chill for a couple of minutes.
Love this strategy!

I find that starting something when I'm in the habit of procrastinating is super hard. I definitely think it's becomes easier to keep going once you've focused and started it . Good luck!
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r1ckworthy

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Re: The Yr12 journey- a diary I "hope" to update...
« Reply #12 on: April 11, 2019, 05:23:04 pm »
+4
Hey all,

Haven't posted in a very long time (almost a month!), so I hope to start posting frequently now.

Well, first of all, term 1 has been a huge lesson by itself. Firstly, I got some fairly good assessment marks by the end of this term:
Maths 2U: 19.2/20
Chemistry (20%): 19.5/20
Advanced English: 26.7/30
Maths 3U: Don't know, but pretty sure I barely passed.


I am happy with my 2U maths and chemistry marks, but it was english and maths that really disappointed me. Especially, English advanced, which I worked really hard on. It's kind of a huge disappointment, but also kind of a lesson. I think from now on I am going to write stories that I particularly enjoy. Last year, I wrote a narrative three days before the due date, and I got in the nineties. I just wrote with inspiration and thought for myself, like, what I would like in a story. This one, I've worked on from December onto February, not really feeling anything. I edited it vigorously; you might have seen in the HSC marking and feedback (for which I'm so thankful for), and took the advice of nearly everyone. I think what I should do first is to write something which I enjoy and to write without thinking about what others would think about it. That's one lesson, and I was disappointedly for the afternoon today, especially after hearing three people got 99%. But I guess I just need to work harder, and I am kind of thankful. Even the maths extension 1 test was pretty bad. The questions were doable, but there was not really any time; I think I rushed it and made some silly mistakes/ calculation errors. I am also kind of disappointed by that.

It does suck to have those kind of marks, especially since my ambition is so high, but I guess I need to keep working consistently everyday. The biggest lesson I've learnt is to not procrastinate on an assessment. This term, I procrastinated / didn't really do anything for one of my assessments, which lead to me working my ass off for three whole nights. This lead me to not doing enough work for my next assessment, because of the amount of time I gave to the one I procrastinated on, leading me to work my ass off again. I don't think I did particularly well for the two assessments this term because it was so crammed, but yeah. I did about two all-nighters this term, with a tonne of coffee. I hope it doesn't come to this next term.

But I'm kind of glad I went through the experience. I remember, it was 3:00 at night and I haven't even started my ancient history presentation which was right in the afternoon. I stayed positive and pushed through the whole night, and gave a good presentation.

That's it for this term. In my opinion, it was one of the most stressful times in my school life, but I guess it was worth it? Yeah, I don't think I'll be able to really see it's effect until later on.

This holidays, my plan is to do as many questions as possible. Unlike other schools, my exams are in the 3rd week of term 2, so I need to start studying for it. Here is what I hope to do for each of my subjects:
Spoiler
Advanced English: Write a shit tonne of essays for module A, make some study notes as well, watch Looking for Richard again.
Maths 2U: HSC papers. I've already done the course last year (was accelerated), but I hope to practice past papers a lot.
Maths 3U: Past papers as well. In the first week, I am going to revise everything I've learned so far, and then proceed in the 2nd week to doing past papers.
Physics: Make some study notes in content heavy areas in the first half of the week, do a tonne of questions (Hopefully will do Blasonduo's paper in the 2nd week), also do substantial work on my assessment task as well.
Chemistry: Make summaries as well, and do a shit tonne of questions.
Ancient History: just write essay plans in the first week, and then proceed to just writing essays soon after.
Science Extension: Analyse the sample paper, do my research proposal (which I am presenting on the first day of school), revise some concepts, and update my logbook.

Wow, it's such a long post!! But that is what happens when you don't post for days. I hope to post more soon about my progress. Thanks for reading! ;D
HSC 2019: English Advanced || Mathematics || Mathematics Extension 1 || Physics || Chemistry || Science Extension || Ancient History ||

The Yr12 journey- a diary I "hope" to update... || Halfway through Year 12... lessons I've learned so far. || Check out my youtube channel!

r1ckworthy

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Re: The Yr12 journey- a diary I "hope" to update...
« Reply #13 on: April 30, 2019, 09:14:38 pm »
+4
Hey all, hope everyone is going alright!!!

First off, I think I need to make a system for posting on ATARnotes regularly. Reviewing what I have written in this journal so far, I feel as I have written some good advice, to be honest, and I think I need to keep reminding myself of these things so I can stay on track. The past few days, I have been panicking so much, and I feel the stress getting to me. So, after each entry, I am going to write myself advice, tips and messages, just to keep myself going. I feel like by writing this, it will not only provide benefit to me but to everyone else reading this journal as well.

We started this term with some marks!! Here it is:
Physics: 100%
Maths X1: 71%


Relatively happy with the physics mark, I feel the teacher marked too easily but still am happy. I am relieved with my maths X1 mark, I thought I would get 40%, so this is kind of good? I am relieved, nonetheless, and want to persevere and try and get a solid mark in my half-yearlies.

I had my research proposal today for science extension, definitely did not go great. I think I will at-least get a 70, and since there are only two people in my class (friendly reminder: my cohort is just 21 people!) I am not worried at all about rankings. I just need to do the best I can in exams and future assessment tasks.

That's about it. I feel like just wanting to unleash myself, so be warned for a whole bunch of text in the spoiler.
some heavy feelings this week...
Man. I am wasting time. Every-time I sit down and something does not go to plan, I immediately panic and do nothing. I think my anxiety is getting the better of me, and I clearly need to do something in order to destress. Like in the evening, I wanted to write an English essay, but I didn't know what to write, so I tried to make some notes, which did not work. I had no idea what to do, and I wasted one hour. I know I shouldn't be hard on myself, but considering how busy I am going to be this term, I am panicking that I am not getting enough done. Alarm bells are still ringing inside, and I am a bit anxious about how the term will go. If y'all don't mind, could you list some ways to calm this anxiety of mine? I feel very panicky when I shouldn't, and so I just don't do anything/ waste time.
Man, every-time I sit down at my desk, I just start to worry and worry and worry, and I am not doing anything to clear it away. I think the problem is I feel overwhelmed with the work, so I just need to split everything up into smaller tasks and just keep grinding. I guess I just need to calm myself, although I am not exactly sure how :( :( :(

So yeah, that was today. I hope to be posting frequently, so expect some more posts!!!
Advice of the day
When you are 80 years old, you won't remember these panic attacks, these moments of worrying so much. Instead, you will experience memories of experiencing absolute joy in understanding something, pure joy in just seeing what the author intended for you in their book, joy in persevering through that essay. All these subjects, advanced English, ancient history... is something you will probably never experience again, and so you should lift yourself backup, remind yourself of this, and keep moving on. Take a moment to enjoy these subjects, this is the last year you'll probably do them ;D

PS: Thank you for the MOTM!!! Made my night, and encouraged me to keep posting on the forums!!!
HSC 2019: English Advanced || Mathematics || Mathematics Extension 1 || Physics || Chemistry || Science Extension || Ancient History ||

The Yr12 journey- a diary I "hope" to update... || Halfway through Year 12... lessons I've learned so far. || Check out my youtube channel!

Pearlmilktea

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Re: The Yr12 journey- a diary I "hope" to update...
« Reply #14 on: April 30, 2019, 10:15:42 pm »
+4

Physics: 100%
Maths X1: 71%


Relatively happy with the physics mark, I feel the teacher marked too easily but still am happy. I am relieved with my maths X1 mark, I thought I would get 40%, so this is kind of good? I am relieved, nonetheless, and want to persevere and try and get a solid mark in my half-yearlies.

Wow that's amazing! Seriously don't discount yourself, I'm sure you totally deserved that 100% - good job for crushing the exam!
Also congrats on maths X1! Legit have so much admiration for you judging numbers and random triangles stress me out haha. I still have fond memories of my teacher saying my circles looked more like ovals and taking off marks (even though I needed every mark I could get) XD.

I really felt your heavy thoughts section. Since I'm also in Year 12 doing the HSC, I totally relate to having stress come over me sometimes and having this exacerbated by the subsequent lack of work due to stress (funfun). Technically I actually should be doing a bio depth study now haha exhibit A of my lack of productivity and super procrastination skills (thankyouthankyou i try  :) ).

I find that it's good to write to do lists. Sometimes I use Microsoft To Do so I can add and remove tasks easily. Feeling stressed? Maybe do an essay plan, another subject or take some time out today to reframe your mind. Feeling like you can slay the syllabus? Essay if you want or difficult homework but still pace yourself. Talk to your teachers! I legit love hitting up my teachers to destress and reframe my mind.

Sorry for keeping it brief (well for me as I write wayyyy to much alllll the time XD) because I have bio to do. Feeling inspired to set up a year 12 journal now because of you. Thanks mate - you rock!

Good luck with this week and I'll be back soon!
Feel free to check out my study instagram @gracie_studies for some study inspo or just to chat :)

HSC 2018: French Continuers (92)

HSC 2019: Biology, English Adv, French Extension, Legal Studies and Italian Beginners.