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August 24, 2019, 11:37:37 pm

Author Topic: 2019 AA Club - Week 6  (Read 522 times)

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MissSmiley

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2019 AA Club - Week 6
« on: February 11, 2019, 10:22:39 pm »
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Hi everyone!

Hope people get involved in practicing AA here, even if you decide to pop in fortnightly and smash out a small piece of analysis or even a paragraph!
This is a great way to stay ahead of school and consolidate your AA skills if you're already studying AA at school! Set a small goal every time you decide to practice on AN! Whether it be writing a few lines about how the author opens or closes or maybe you'd like to pick the best pieces of evidence and write one sentence about reader effect! Writing a small para each week or fortnightly is just as great as a full analysis! (And splendid if you have time to do a full one!!  ;))

This week the issue isn't recent, but ongoing! However, there are two images with the main opinion piece! Because you never know, VCAA could give multiple images, infographics or cartoons!


Quote
Background: Throughout 2017 and 2018, there has been increasing pressure both in Australian and overseas for retailers and consumers to reduce their reliance on single-use plastics like straws.
Australia’s reliance on single-use plastic products is touched upon an opinion piece written by Sue Bailey and published on the Sydney Morning Herald website on 7 December, 2017. The comment, written by Eden Smith, was published online on 25 Apr 2018 on abc.net.au. The image, produced by the British organisation ‘Less Plastic’, continues to be circulated around the world on social media, such as Instagram, Pinterest and Twitter.

Don't treat Australia like a rubbish tip
By Sue Bailey


Twenty years ago we brought our family to this beautiful country to live - we came here to provide our children with a safe and beautiful place in which they could grow up. When we were granted citizenship two years later we were so very proud to be called Australian - anyone who migrates here will know how hard it is to get a visa to live in this country. In those days we regarded it as an honour to be accepted here - and a privilege to live here. We loved the pride Australians had for their country as well.

On our arrival we were amazed at how little litter there was on the streets, in the parks and on the beaches. Sadly now this is not the case - people drop their litter anywhere and everywhere.  I couldn’t help but shed a tear the last time I was at Bondi – I remember the first time we went there and it was so beautiful and 100% rubbish free. These days, plastic bottles and other rubbish litter the beaches, parks and streets of Sydney and every other Australian city I have visited. Time and time again, I have seen rubbish pushed into hedges, left at bus stops and dropped next to council bins. Most people do the right thing - but so many people don't. It breaks my heart to see this lovely country going down the toilet because it is being treated like a toilet. 
Litterbugs do their dirty deeds on our most famous bit of sand, Bondi Beach.

But I believe we can reverse this terrible trend. How? Well, there’s a lot that the state and federal government should do, especially in relation to plastic products. Disposable plastic straws, cups, straws, knives, forks and spoons should all be banned: it should be an offence to supply or use them. Also, plastic bottles should have a deposit to encourage recycling in every state and territory and there should be recycling depots in every suburb. There also needs to be a lot more recycling bins and a lot more education about recycling and reusing products.

So much of the rubbish littering our cities and in landfill is stuff that could be recycled or single-use plastics. We could so easily improve things by getting better at recycling or cutting down on our use of single-use plastic items. Plastic straws in particular are so unnecessary: there are biodegradable AND reusable plastic straws available. They are the more expensive option, but they won’t be for long if we don’t change our habits.

Australia - and Australians new and old - have some respect for your country. Love and care for the planet and the city you live in. For your fellow Australians. And think of the next generation as well - we all want our children to have a better place to live in than the world we know today. Start now or your children will inherit a planet that is totally destroyed and a city that resembles a rubbish tip! I am scared to think what Bondi Beach will look like in another ten years, let alone twenty.

Sue Bailey is a Sydney resident.


Images:

https://imgur.com/a/eYkAE1K
https://imgur.com/a/W8iPdEG

EDIT: Sorry guys, I can't get the images working here (will work on it and ask someone) so instead I've given here the links just for some time until I get it sorted! :)

« Last Edit: February 12, 2019, 01:51:16 pm by MissSmiley »

2017 : Further Maths [38]
2018 : English [45] ;English Language [43] ; Food Studies [47] ;French [33] ;Legal Studies [39]
VCE ATAR : 98.10
2019 - 2023 : Bachelor of Laws (Honours) and Bachelor of Arts at Monash University

I'm selling a huge electronic copy of  VCE English essays and resources document (with essays that have teacher feedback and marks) for $10. Feel free to PM me for details!

Ali_kfp

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Re: 2019 AA Club - Week 6
« Reply #1 on: February 12, 2019, 08:04:05 pm »
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Cannot say how excited I feel to know that such spaces exist!
Well, at least I can confidently guarantee that I will actively supply the discussion with "how not to write"  analyses.
here is a very weak English student, whom awkwardly has fallen in love with language and semantics in year 12!



As the impacts of single-use plastic products have grown more and more palpable around the
world, a number of endeavours to minimize reliance on these products have taken
place throughout Australia. Regarding this issue, an opinion piece by Sue Bailey appeared on 7th of December on the “Sydney Herald Morning” website. Lamenting in tone, with a romanticised nostalgic register, Bailey’s
piece aims to target Australians, contending that any use of single-used
plastic products "must be banned", in order to ultimately to “reverse” the current trend.



here is my introduction paragraph for today.
Thanks:)

Anonymous

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Re: 2019 AA Club - Week 6
« Reply #2 on: February 12, 2019, 08:26:31 pm »
0
Year 10 Student here
Just wanted to try? But i'm probably going to fail because of my lack of understanding with AA

As the issue of single-use plastic straws shifts to a more contentious and heated area, Sydney Resident, Sue Bailey sparks into anger as she watches the "beautiful country" she used to live in turn in to a "rubbish tip." Bailey's opinion piece was published on Sydney Morning Herald on the 7th of December 2017 by Eden Smith, highlighting the major flaws in Australian governments and companies to prevent littering of disposable plastics.

Bailey begins her opinion, describing the unique and delightful country that she used to live in, and how it was a "privilege to live [there]." She then lists out the dreadful flaws of the state and federal government, pinpointing how Australia is "going down the toilet" from the uncontrollable litter.

Please some advice to improve, as I said I'm a Year 10 but I hope to achieve a good English score in VCE.

MissSmiley

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Re: 2019 AA Club - Week 6
« Reply #3 on: February 12, 2019, 10:51:31 pm »
+1
Cannot say how excited I feel to know that such spaces exist!
Well, at least I can confidently guarantee that I will actively supply the discussion with "how not to write"  analyses.
here is a very weak English student, whom awkwardly has fallen in love with language and semantics in year 12!



As the impacts of single-use plastic products have grown more and more palpable around the
world, a number of endeavours to minimize reliance on these products have taken
place throughout Australia. Yeah this sentence sounds really great and formal, but your intro should be really succinct and straight to the point, so let's try keeping your first sentence shorter! So why not this as your first sentence: Sue Bailey's opinion piece 'Don't treat Australia like a rubbish tip' forms one of the many endeavours to minimise reliance on the use of single-use plastic products.
Regarding this issue, an opinion piece by Sue Bailey appeared on 7th of December on the “Sydney Herald Morning” website. Lamenting in tone Using a lamented tone, with a romanticised nostalgic register, No these adjectives don't describe register. Register is something on the continuum of formal to informal. So best to talk about how she begins by portraying Australia in a romanticised version. And nostalgic is a great tone word suitable for this! So you could say how she starts off with a nostalgic tone and then shifts her tone to disappointed or disgusted even. But all this, write it in your first para! No need in the intro! Bailey’s
piece aims to target A
ustralians, a piece can't contend, so how about this: Seeking to convey her stance to the general Australian public, especially those who rely heavily on convenient plastic use, Bailey contends that the use of plastic products should be immensely minimised and sustainable, environment-friendly material should be used instead.  contending that any use of single-used
plastic products "must be banned", in order to ultimately to “reverse” the current trend. paraphrase the contention in your own words! avoid using quotes from the text in your intro!



here is my introduction paragraph for today.
Thanks:)
Hi Ali_kfp,

Great start! No matter where you're at, practicing is the only way to improve!  :)
Be confident and please don't underestimate your abilities!
We're all learning here and that's the beauty of this!  :)

I really like how you're trying to vary your sentence structure right from the intro, which is great because assessors love variety!!
But I do think you could try making your intros a bit shorter and succinct!
Literally a small checklist you have to follow and then done!
A sentence about the issue (smarter if you could combine the author's name as well into this first sentence!  ;)), then tone word, (possibly style as well if you want), then contention, then audience, that's it!
Of course change the order of these if you want!
And don't try to put everything in the intro! Leave some of your great adjectives for style and tone for the paras where you can talk about argument construction and tone development!

Great start! :)

Looking forward to reading your practices on AN!

Hope this helps! :)

2017 : Further Maths [38]
2018 : English [45] ;English Language [43] ; Food Studies [47] ;French [33] ;Legal Studies [39]
VCE ATAR : 98.10
2019 - 2023 : Bachelor of Laws (Honours) and Bachelor of Arts at Monash University

I'm selling a huge electronic copy of  VCE English essays and resources document (with essays that have teacher feedback and marks) for $10. Feel free to PM me for details!

absCgail

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Re: 2019 AA Club - Week 6
« Reply #4 on: February 13, 2019, 12:50:53 pm »
+1
Is the last paragraph the comment from Eden Smith?

Anonymous

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Re: 2019 AA Club - Week 6
« Reply #5 on: February 13, 2019, 10:16:06 pm »
0
Hi Ali_kfp,

Great start! No matter where you're at, practicing is the only way to improve!  :)
Be confident and please don't underestimate your abilities!
We're all learning here and that's the beauty of this!  :)

I really like how you're trying to vary your sentence structure right from the intro, which is great because assessors love variety!!
But I do think you could try making your intros a bit shorter and succinct!
Literally a small checklist you have to follow and then done!
A sentence about the issue (smarter if you could combine the author's name as well into this first sentence!  ;)), then tone word, (possibly style as well if you want), then contention, then audience, that's it!
Of course change the order of these if you want!
And don't try to put everything in the intro! Leave some of your great adjectives for style and tone for the paras where you can talk about argument construction and tone development!

Great start! :)

Looking forward to reading your practices on AN!

Hope this helps! :)


Thank you so much for your detailed review and kind encouragement:)
I will definitely try to improve these in my upcoming analyses.

Anonymous

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Re: 2019 AA Club - Week 6
« Reply #6 on: February 14, 2019, 07:14:20 pm »
0
So instead of writing an essay, I'll just analyse sentences:

Bailey contextualises the issue by drawing on the "privilege" associated with "grow[ing]" up in a "safe and beautiful place" such as Australia. With the intention of appealing to nationalistic tendencies," the author attempts to shepherd "fellow Australians" into accepting living in Australia to be an "honour." Thereby, patriotic residents may be encouraged into believing that the only discourse to maintain Australia's reputation is to not treat it "like a rubbish tip."

The author passionately asserts the need to "reverse this terrible trend" of littering through her call to action. Specifically, Bailey enumerates the need for "more recycling bins" and "a lot more education" and, by doing this, the author cajoles environmentalists into potentially adopting such measures as a way to achieve social restoration in Australia's sustainability sector. Building on this notion, the author couples the

Building on this notion, the author scathingly disparages the inaction towards achieving a "100% rubbish free" Australia and couples this criticism with the potential desire of apprehensive parents for "children to have a better place to live." With the intention of appealing to the fundamental values of concern for youth, Bailey invites the readership to contemplate the impact of their absence towards the state of their "country" and thereby, may be encouraged to act "now" towards a "rubbish free" society.

Conversely, the author intends to propagate a surge of apprehension in readers in her description that "your children will inherit a planet that is totally destroyed." By conjuring up an image in budding parents of a desolate landscape in which humanity is redundant, Bailey endeavours to bolster a defamatory attack towards these "litterbugs" who are "destroy[ing]" what makes Australia so "beautiful." In this way, concerned parents may be encouraged to repudiate the "rubbish tip" that few Australians have created in order to elevate a higher sense of responsibility for their "children." 

Visual Analysis
The photograph accompanying Bailey's piece coincides with her notion of "litter" clogging up the beauty Australia once has. By drawing the readership towards the large amounts of "rubbish," the author attempts to galvanise them out of their complacency due to the increasing piles of "plastic" that cover Australia's beaches. In this way, local residents may be coaxed into raising awareness for rubbish not being properly disposed in an effort to ensure the sustainability of Australia's environment is maintained. Those who litter are potentially encouraged to reduce their littering or face scrutiny from the general public.

How would I analyse the following:
So much of the rubbish littering our cities and in landfill is stuff that could be recycled or single-use plastics.

- I was thinking use of phrase "so much" carries connotations associated with overly excessive and potentially destructive in connection to the "landfill" being created

Disposable plastic straws, cups, straws, knives, forks and spoons should all be banned

- not sure how to analyse this one. any thoughts?

peachxmh

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Re: 2019 AA Club - Week 6
« Reply #7 on: February 15, 2019, 10:20:37 pm »
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The ongoing issue of Australia's reliance on single-use plastics and its littering practices is addressed in an opinion piece by Sue Bailey titled "Don't treat Australia like a rubbish tip" (Sydney Morning Herald, 7/12/17). Bailey contends that Australians should endeavour to be more responsible about their disposal of rubbish, to show pride for their country and on behalf of the next generation - in the hope that they will rethink their habits and change them. Initially, a nostalgic and concerned tone is used, but this later shifts to a hopeful tone as the piece concludes. The article is aimed at all Australians, as well as the Australian state and federal governments.

Bailey establishes Australia as having been pristine in the past, with minimal littering. Her anecdotal evidence of her initial arrival to Australia causes readers to infer that she has both an outsider and an insider's perspective of Australia as a country. Combined with her later statement that "in those days", she thought it was a privilege to live in Australia, readers are caused to feel as though Australia has lost its appeal to outsiders, and this is corroborated by her previous establishment of herself as part of that demographic. Therefore, readers are led to believe that something must be done to change this to preserve Australia's pride as a country due to Bailey's appeal to their sense of patriotism. Her inclusion of an image depicting litter on a beach whilst people walk past nonchalantly is an attempt to cause readers to realise how desensitised Australians have become towards the issue of littering. Hence, she aims to make readers feel the need to take more action and to be more aware about their own habits. Furthermore, through her utilisation of the adjective "dirty" to describe the action of littering, she creates a sense of shame and immorality in readers who have littered, and thus portrays littering as a moral violation. This invokes guilt in her readership and a desire to better themselves by reducing the amount of litter they create. As a result, Bailey sets up a solution that reduces litter as the logical step towards restoring Australia's image to its former glory.

Proposing a series of viable solutions to the issue, Bailey argues that the issue can be reduced by banning single-use plastics and implementing better methods of recycling. Specifically mentioning "state and federal governments", Bailey pinpoints them as the group in her readership with the ability to resolve the issue, holding them accountable. Listing "disposable plastic straws, cups, straws, knives, forks and spoons" as the plastic products in circulation in our society, she places an emphasis on the extensive presence of plastic in our lives. Consequently, she causes readers to feel as though the issue is grave, and to understand the implications of irresponsible handling of such large amounts of plastic. Her suggestion of how governments could cause positive change to occur is paired with an infographic about these solutions, which depicts the information in an easily accessible and simplified manner. This translates onto readers' perception of the solutions, making them view them as also simple, which encourages them to be more active and involved in the resolution process. In a tonal shift to a hopeful tone, Bailey appeals to readers' sense of responsibility for the more vulnerable in society, by urging them to help address the issue on behalf of the "children". Her changed tone and appeal causes readers to infer that she, as well as others, are depending on them to be more responsible about their polluting habits. Bailey presents the issue as easily dealt with by both the Australian public and Australian governments, and stresses the importance of solving it for a brighter future.

Ultimately, Bailey asserts in her opinion piece "Don't treat Australia like a rubbish tip" that the issue of littering is detrimental to Australia's national identity and the future of later generations. As a result, she contends that Australians should be more responsible about their practices with regards to rubbish disposal, and urges readers to think about more sustainable replacements for single-use plastics.
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