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May 31, 2020, 01:26:38 pm

Author Topic: PF's uni journal  (Read 6295 times)

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PhoenixxFire

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Re: PF's uni journal
« Reply #45 on: March 06, 2020, 06:21:00 pm »
+9
Hello, I haven't failed out of uni yet which is nice. But this week has been a bit shit.

I skipped a fair few lectures this week and have 5 hours of recording to watch y a y (I should only have 4 but one of my lecturers was sick, so it's not entirely my fault). With any luck it should be fairly easy to watch them all this weekend (unsarcastic yay for 3 day weekends) so hopefully won't be starting next week already behind. Yesterday was shit & so was this morning and I didn't go to my first practical for one of my classes. It's compulsory so oops. But also it was a computer prac not a field trip one and the content for it is online and it's compulsory but not automatic fail if I don't attend sort of compulsory so it could have been worse.

I've been sleeping incredibly badly this week. I go to sleep early enough (mostly) and wake up late enough, but it's either constant nightmares or being wide awake at 3am which is quite unpleasant. Haven't been exercising this week, which tends to help with sleep, but I'm not sure which is cause & which is effect. It's been raining pretty much constantly for the last few days which hasn't helped, although it seems to have finally stopped.

I somehow managed to do both of the scary things that I had to do today - I finally got my student card replaced (after 6 months lmao) so it has my correct name on it ("approx 15 min wait time" turned into 45 min but that's fine), they didn't even make me pay the replacement fee which was nice and somehow actually called back the people that my doctor referred me to which is wild because I really didn't think I'd actually do it given how much I hate phone calls.

Next week would be the first week with all my classes running, but Monday is a public holiday so it isn't. First week with a bio lab, I'm very anxious about that. Labs are a whole lot scary (and the reports I have to write afterwards even more so).

Trying to just go week by week and hoping that so long as I'm all caught up before the next week starts then it'll be okay, but that's easy to say when I haven't gotten any assessments yet.
2019: B Environment and Sustainability/B Science @ ANU
2020: Just Vibing

PhoenixxFire

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Re: PF's uni journal
« Reply #46 on: March 13, 2020, 03:30:38 pm »
+11
I think I got sunburnt today :(
Spent this morning walking (more accurately, climbing, given steepness) around Black mountain using trigonometry to measure the height of trees (turns out you can actually use math in real life). Was super worried about this because I can't identify tree species at all and we had this long list of eucalypts we were meant to be able to identify but turns out only two of those species were actually there lmao.

In my other enviro class we've had three different tutors over three weeks because mine's been sick which is a bit annoying.

It's the end of week 3 which means all my classes suddenly have assignments due - I have a quiz to do this weekend, a 1000 word essay plan to write for my sociology/enviro class due at the end of march, and an introduction (which I hate writing because doing the referencing is awful) for my enviro statistics class. So that's gonna be fun. Don't think I know 1000 words and there isn't any topic where I have that much to say (the actual essay is 2000 words, just the plan is 1000) so that's fun.

I went to all my compulsory classes this week but skipped a few lectures - mostly bio ones. Don't think I'm gonna go to bio ones from now on, the lecturer spends ages going over things we learnt last year and then skips through new things too fast for me to make notes so it's easier to just watch the recordings (...if I can manage to actually watch them haha).

This week has been a bit better than last week most days, but yesterday was fkn awful. I don't know why but it seems to be a pattern that Thursdays are bad :(

There's rumours floating around that anu might shut down as we've just had the first case of covid19 confirmed in the ACT. At the moment it's just that one case so hopefully that'll be a while off. I'd expect that all my classes will switch to online only if that happens so at least we'll be able to keep studying but being stuck inside and alone for weeks on end will probably be really shit for my mental health so hopefully it doesn't happen for too long.
2019: B Environment and Sustainability/B Science @ ANU
2020: Just Vibing

PhoenixxFire

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Re: PF's uni journal
« Reply #47 on: March 17, 2020, 07:15:51 pm »
+13
It's not a Friday but a lot's happened over the last few days.

Basically the situation at my uni at the moment is very disjointed between different colleges - CECS and JCOS are so far having the worst response - and all of my courses are JCOS.

We've been told this week that all lectures will be online only from next week.

For ENVS1003 tutorials and practicals are continuing this week, cancelled next week, and then will be online after that. Originally they were going to try and continue them for a bit but with extra measures like holding tutes outside and using multiple computer labs so that we can spread out but students were a bit worried and the convenor is actually decent so it's going fully online.

ENVS1001 tutes are continuing with no change and the convenor is acting like it's still possible that our field trip in a few weeks will still go ahead - I don't see how it possibly could. Super annoying tbh. The tutes could easily be held via zoom like is being done for other courses.

Biol2161 - two of the lectures this week are online only, one isn't. I'm not really sure why (I think probably about what room they're in). Pracs are going ahead for now which I think is very irresponsible especially given this course already has the ability to run without pracs as that's whats being done for students stuck in China (although obviously not as good as being able to do pracs). Any of you who've been in a uni lab will know how crowded they are and how much of a fkn joke it is that we've been told that it's fine to run labs so long as you practice social distancing - which is impossible to actually do in labs.

Next week my only class on campus will be a tute on Wednesday, assuming nothing changes before then.

Other colleges at anu have cancelled this weeks classes immediately and are moving fully online next week, but apparently jcos is a bit slow.


On one hand I'm glad that decisions have finally been mostly made, but I'm very much not going to enjoy being so isolated. If what's happening in Melbourne is anything to go by then libraries here will possibly close as well which will make things even worse. So far we haven't been told that the campus will close so it'll still be possible for me to go somewhere other than home at least, but that could change when we get more cases in Canberra. Fun times. I thought I'd enjoy the apocalypse more given how much I liked the movie Contagion.

Update a few hours later: The tute for envs1001 this week is now the last one before we move that online too. Field trip has been cancelled. The only in person classes that I have left for the semester are a few bio labs, if they don't get cancelled.
« Last Edit: March 17, 2020, 09:42:45 pm by PhoenixxFire »
2019: B Environment and Sustainability/B Science @ ANU
2020: Just Vibing

PhoenixxFire

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Re: PF's uni journal
« Reply #48 on: March 18, 2020, 04:58:32 pm »
+8
Update a day later: all classes next week are cancelled, then one more week of uni, then two weeks of mid sem break as always, then 7 weeks rather than 6 in the second half of semester.

Really unhappy that theyíve told us three different things in less than 24 hours for one of my courses, itís quite ridiculous.

Also why the fuck are there no eggs in the entire shopping centre. How on earth can people still feel justified in panic buying. Makes me want covid to wipe out humanity.
2019: B Environment and Sustainability/B Science @ ANU
2020: Just Vibing

PhoenixxFire

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Re: PF's uni journal
« Reply #49 on: March 27, 2020, 04:39:50 pm »
+7
Given I haven't had any classes this week, you'd think that I'd use the time to start on my assessments that have been delayed until next week but no.

Haven't done much this week. It's been a bit shit, was finally getting a little less depressed but this virus and the isolation it's forcing upon me is certainly trying its hardest to undo that.

I've only got one more week of uni until 2 weeks holiday so I should really just try and focus and get through it but ugh. So many assessments due next week - bio report on Monday which I should have written this week but didn't (oops). It's not worth much but I should submit something at least so I can get some marks rather than just avoiding it and not submitting it at all like last year. Also have to write a 1000 word essay plan due at the end of the week which is big yikes and I'm really not keen on. It isn't worth much either but we get feedback on it to use for the actual essay which is worth a fair bit so should at least try. Also a couple of quizzes but they don't take long.

The two weeks holiday is gonna be shit tbh given I can't go anywhere and won't even have uni work to distract myself with.

Bit miserable atm but I did buy myself an inflatable kayak and maybe going for a paddle might make me slightly happier. All the extra stress and worrying has gotten me really tired again which is annoying because I've just started managing to sleep almost decently (still waking up 300 times during the night but at least I manage to get back to sleep now, my standards are low lmao).
2019: B Environment and Sustainability/B Science @ ANU
2020: Just Vibing

PhoenixxFire

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Re: PF's uni journal
« Reply #50 on: April 21, 2020, 04:39:58 pm »
+13
Heyo,
long time no see, just popping in with a quick update whilst I'm too drugged up to overthink it. Better hope the anxiety doesn't come back again cos I'm running out of PRNs

So when I said life's been a bit shit in my last post I was slightly understating it. The day after that I got myself a little trip to hospital and it was very convincingly suggested that staying for a couple of days so that I could have a break and talk to some doctors would be a good idea. 3 weeks and 3 different mental health wards across 2 hospitals later and here we are. To be fair I am feeling better than I have pretty much all year which is quite nice, as long as it doesn't all go to shit as soon as I get home which it hopefully won't but I'm not a very hopeful person.

Thank fuck for good nurses though. And good doctors. My dr at first hospital was great, not too fond of dr at second hospital but I complained about it to a heap of nurses and now they're being super helpful. And trying to get me to do my uni work :(

Went into hospital just before the week where all the major assignments for this half of semester are due so oops lol. Lots and lots of essays and reports to write. Pretty much caught up on lectures because that was the easy bit so I started there. Current plan is me getting to go home at the end of the week so I'll probably just keep delaying the work I don't want to do for a bit longer haha.

Still haven't gotten to use my kayak :(
2019: B Environment and Sustainability/B Science @ ANU
2020: Just Vibing

J_Rho

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Re: PF's uni journal
« Reply #51 on: April 21, 2020, 04:56:25 pm »
+6
To be fair I am feeling better than I have pretty much all year which is quite nice
Hey PF,

I don't think I've ever commented on your journal but its actually really interesting and its great you are feeling better than you have been, iso is making everything 100x harder :/

Also, think you should 100% show us your new kayak! (and you can get so many good photos too, some of my favourite photos I've taken have been sunsets from a kayak)
Always remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think. Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself

Class of 2020
2020:  English 3/4, Further Maths 3/4, Legal Studies 3/4, Psychology 3/4, Biology 3/4
Aspirations: Paramedicine

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PhoenixxFire

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Re: PF's uni journal
« Reply #52 on: April 21, 2020, 05:07:25 pm »
+7
Also, think you should 100% show us your new kayak! (and you can get so many good photos too, some of my favourite photos I've taken have been sunsets from a kayak)
Oh that is absolutely the plan once I can actually use my kayak. Keen to go paddling around where I normally cycle to to watch the sunrise. Gonna be a bit chilly now that Iíve been stuck in hospital through the last of the warm weather (although we have a little courtyard with fake grass and Iíve been spending too much time lying in the sun haha)
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2020: Just Vibing

PhoenixxFire

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Re: PF's uni journal
« Reply #53 on: May 09, 2020, 11:08:13 am »
+14
Heyo
I'm out of hospital and in a residential mental health program. The plan is to attempt to catch up on uni and my course convenors and tutors have been very helpful so far. Not sure I'm going to actually manage to catch up though - at least not for all 3 subjects.

I'm feeling relatively okay now that I've settled in here a bit but one of the people I was in hospital with got discharged yesterday and then was feeling very hopeless. I have a newly found hatred of the canberra and nsw mental health phone lines - they were worse than useless and we ended up just calling 000 ourselves. It was very strange being on the other side of a mental health crisis for a change. It's kinda destroyed the plans I had to get some study done this weekend though because I spent all of last night calling various crisis lines trying to get someone to actually go help her and then trying to help someone else in the Program who I was in hospital with and who knew this person better than I did. We still have no idea if she's safe or not which is obviously not all that pleasant.

tbf I'm coping with it way better than I would have a month ago and it's really showing me how much the hospital stay helped.

Hopefully I'll get some uni work done this weekend - my plan at the moment is to just focus on bio cos it doesn't make me panic anywhere near as much as my other two subjects which both have essays that need writing.

We went to visit an animal sanctuary yesterday before everything happened with the person we knew from hospital which was great fun. I went right near some kangaroos and one of the came over and looked like it was trying to sniff me and my heart melted. Also I got attacked by a herd of sheep because i was holding bread that they wanted and got to meet the most adorable baby goat named betsy, who wouldn't let me take a good pic with her but one of the older goats was more cooperative.


Also I cut my hair above shoulder length for the first time a few days ago and I loved it but then I got sick of it and cut it all off this morning. I liked how it looked better when I had the just above shoulder length hair but it feels so much more comfortable now and that's more important to me.

Still haven't gotten to use my kayak but I'm thinking I'll have a go at it tomorrow as long as nothing comes up before then.
« Last Edit: May 09, 2020, 11:12:21 am by PhoenixxFire »
2019: B Environment and Sustainability/B Science @ ANU
2020: Just Vibing

PhoenixxFire

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Re: PF's uni journal except PF isn't at uni anymore
« Reply #54 on: May 19, 2020, 07:21:42 pm »
+12
So hi.
I dropped out of uni. Not necessarily permanently, but tbh I doubt I'll go back to this course.

Lots of *fun* things have been happening in the residential program I'm in. And by fun things I mean they fired my key worker. So now I have to talk to yet another new person. I think I'm up to at least 25 now just since I've been admitted to hospital. I wish I was exaggerating. 9 of them were doctors. Now I don't know much about medicine but repeating myself to 9 different doctors within a couple of months seems a tad excessive. I'm so sick of repeating myself - all of these people have a copy of my medical history and the notes that the previous people wrote and yet I keep getting asked the same questions over and over and over again.

IDK what I'm really doing with my life, I mean I have some ideas but none I'm confident enough about to share (haha as if that's ever stopped me before). At the moment I'm just kinda chilling, I have group activities in the morning and then I just end up watching TV or napping in the afternoon - I'm about to run out of Brooklyn 99 episodes to rewatch and then idk what I'm gonna do.

One of the other people in the program with me who I was in hospital with before this - I'm just gonna call her K to save having to write that sentence again - took me to do some geocaching. We found a few of the normal ish ones but we also did this super cool 3 part geocache through stormwater tunnels. It was great fun after I got over my claustrophobia. The first part was relatively simple, but long. The second part had us crawling out through a tunnel half full of mud - K wore jeans, luckily I wore shorts and didn't get quite so muddy. The third part started with a little walk through shin deep water - not even my waterproof hiking boots could save me - but eventually we got to the end and found the cache and wrote our names on a small piece of disintegrating paper. Most fun I've had in months haha.

I had a chat to my new key worker today and they know I want to volunteer somewhere/do anything that involves not being in the house all day and I mentioned that the Vinnies near my house (but very far away from this house) was asking for volunteers so apparently we're going over there tomorrow. Such fun.

My previous key worker who got fired was also the one who knew the person who ran the animal sanctuary so now we don't get to go back there, and she had said that next time we went they were gonna let us hold the baby kangaroos. Now we just have silly social outings like painting by the lake  :'(

I'm doing relatively okay at the moment. Like I'm not exactly happy or looking forward to life but I haven't tried to drown my sadness in alcohol since before hospital. baby steps.
2019: B Environment and Sustainability/B Science @ ANU
2020: Just Vibing