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August 18, 2019, 12:34:41 pm

Author Topic: (URGENT) Rear Window creative help, my sac is in less than a week.  (Read 754 times)  Share 

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 I have always seen the war from a great distance, being a photojournalist was not enough. L.B Jefferies being a man of action had to experience it close up. I sometimes wonder why I re-enlisted for the military, especially after marrying Lisa. I try to ignore it and focus on the task ahead of me. I lay here camouflaged amongst the bamboo of Vietnam. I look around me, nothing, and nobody. I’m the last of them left, 16 of my men have been killed. The silence was deafening. Yet, somehow, I could still hear the gunshots, the explosions, the frantic cries for helps. It was all still ringing in my ears.  I breathe in, I breathe out; everything is going to be okay. All of this left me disorientated. No words escaped my mouth. For a moment, my grip on my weapon loosened, before quickly tightening. I have experienced almost everything, but nothing as adventurous as this. Our squad has been commanded to take out General Dao Nguyen, however the explosions and gunshots. Have taken out the rest of my team. I’m bloodthirsty, a man of action would never retreat from any command. I grasp my sniper rifle tight and firm, pointed yet close to my heart, ready to attack at any time.

I look down the lens and focus on the village housing General Dao Nguyen roughly fifteen hundred feet from my discrete position. My main priority is to find General Dao Nguyen but I can’t help but observe the other aspects of the village. I reposition my lens thirty degrees true and observe a man and what it looks like to be his partner. I see the woman in great stress and fear. Her knees lay in dirty mud while she is curled up like a ball. The man towers over her, his broad shoulders leave the woman in his shadows. He is wailing at her like she committed something despicable. I focus my attention to the tears running down her face, so vulnerable she has totally given up. Her frantic pleads are cut short when the strike of a club is used to leave the girl unconscious. I close my eyes and try to forget it like it was a bad photo. My eyes just can’t look away any longer. They must be fixated to something so atrocious yet intriguing. I open my eyes and the man is nowhere in sight. My eyes focus onto the lady in a fatal position, her arms contracted and pressed up against her chest. I watch as the blood gushes from her forehead to the soil of Vietnam. I continue to gaze alongside her traumatized children, feeling no emotion. For how horrific it is, the tears on the distraught children is not satisfying enough. I’m still addicted and need to explore the lives of others within this village. I continue to pan the village and through the window of a Vietnamese stilt house, I see a woman with cooking spoons in each hand. She is stirring two cooking pots simultaneously. A good wife she’d make, I say to myself. Time has passed and I have completely forgotten the reason why I am here. I’ve been so caught up in the lives of others I have lost track of time.

 My long presence makes me feel anxious and I am worried if my target feels as if they are being watched. A thin layer of sweat coats my pale skin/Tiny droplets bead my forehead, and almost suddenly, my chest feels as if it has been crushed by an elephant, the weight making me unable to breathe, I feel as if being watched. The intensity of my beating heart and the sweat on my fingers make me think of Lisa, my only love. I find it troubling writing to her, crossing out times in which it sounds like I am in any stress. I avoid using words like scared and lonely, even though that is how I’m feeling that is not ones perception of a man of action. I finally come to conclusion on what I’m happy with and on it I read; ‘My dear wife Lisa. The rest of my squad have been killed and I’m this hill looking down on the village where my target is settled. I’m not sure if I’m going to make it home. I am sorry that I left so soon after our marriage, we have shared so many good memories as a married couple I regret not marrying sooner. I was too hesitant. I was afraid I was going to end up like the others. I didn’t want to end up like Thorwald and come home to a nagging wife each day. I didn’t want to end up in an endless spiral of arguing and fights. I came to see you as how others saw you; Lisa Freemont, the superficial lady that was too smart, too beautiful, and too successful. I felt as if our values were incongruous and I didn’t think you could change to suit my needs. I just didn’t want marriage to confine me from being myself. Hopefully I make home to you, your love, L.B Jefferies.

 I close my journal and once again look down the lens of my sniper rifle. I align my crosshairs to the door of General Dao Nguyen’s stilt house. It is so humid and the temperature is making me feel uneasy. I am constantly sweating and feel as if something bad is about to happen. I begin to grab a cloth to wipe my face but I am interrupted by the opening of the door, it’s him. He stands still and I align my cross-hairs with his forehead. Strangely he is looking directly down my scope. His eyes match up with mine. It is like he knows where I am and he is watching me. He begins to smile at me and before questioning it I take the shot. I watch his body ragdoll to the ground. The gunshot sends the village into panic and I run for my life into the opposite direction.

Statement of Intention
 Alfred Hitchcock’s film Rear Window, explores the influences for, and consequences of, ‘peeping’ on others whilst failing to reflect on our own lives. This is strongly illustrated from the protagonist, Jeff. The text ultimately insinuates that Jeff’s personal fears and worries regarding his relationship with Lisa, notably marriage and being together, leads him to fixate on his neighbours’ lives instead – failing to associate with reality. Although Jeff finds his hobby as quite harmless, the protagonist is quickly lectured by his nurse, (Stella) that “we’ve become a nation of peeping Toms”. Not only does this point to us that Jeff’s voyeurism is not all that uncommon, but it alludes to us viewers that some of America’s society (in the film’s context) is unacceptably prying. In the initial viewing of ‘rear window’ I was drawn to protagonist L.B Jefferies, and the apartment he is confined to for the entirety of the film. His arrogant approach towards being a ‘man of action’ sparked my interest, so I was compelled to explore his views of gender roles, marriage, and voyeurism in action packed world such as the Vietnam War. With this as my cornerstone I have decided to write my creative piece in the form of a short story. By writing in the form of a short story it has allowed me to place Jeff in an environment where he is totally isolated. This isolation is what allows the reader to view Jeff’s true character and understand his perception on ideas such as voyeurism, gender roles, and marriage. I attempt to emulate Jeff’s courtyard via the use of the Vietnamese village and use the scope of the rifle to resemble the ‘rear window’. Like the courtyard, the village highlights ideas such as gender roles and voyeurism. Through the sight of a man viciously executing his wife, it highlights the oppression women face in 1950’s America. That scene also resembles the morality of voyeurism.  By making Jeff a sniper in the Vietnam War I am able to convey a connection between Jeff’s rifle and his camera, further enforcing his past life of a photojournalist can be compared to that of a soldier on the front line. Instead of using military terminology such as “look down the scope” and “scout the village” I specifically include photographic phrases such as “look down the lens” and “pan the village” to illuminate Jeff’s past of being a photojournalist. I also include sexist phrases such as “nagging wife” to reflect on Jeff’s opinion on gender roles and how he believes women constantly complain/nag. The target audience of the creative essay is for people who seek to understand a brief cross section of 1950’s America as it explores common societal values; sexism, marriage, and toxic masculinity, which were apparent at that time. Through my creative it exposes ones inherent desire to watch and can’t look away. Even though Jeff witnessed the killing of a lady he was still intrigued to dive deep into the lives of other in this village. It also sheds light to the idea that you only see a man’s true character in a private moment. Through this Hitchcock is subverting gender roles.


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Re: (URGENT) Rear Window creative help, my sac is in less than a week.
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2019, 08:25:08 pm »
I hope my comments are not too late to be useful.  I think your opening has a few problems - Jeff was in the air force with Doyle so there's no reason for him to be in the army.  Also I think it's a bit excessive to just dispose of 16 guys - if Jeff is a sniper the others don't have to be dead. He will already be apart from them, getting the best position for his target.  You could also improve on the setting - not just "bamboo" but what other plants? How does the light in the forest differ from the open vegetable plots of the village? What does it smell like, feel like to be there? "Bloodthirsty"? are you sure? How does this side of Jeff fit with his character in Hitchcock's film? Your description of the frightened woman is quite vivid and focus on the body language can convey this tension through Jeff as an observer. The journal entry is a little stilted - think of the way Jeff describes to Lisa the difficulties of his life as a photojournalist with the discomfort and exotic foods.
Your Statement of Intention also has a bit too much story-telling rather than focusing on the idea of Jeff's hostile observation contrasting with his disengaged observation in the film. Connections with the characters in the film should be stronger.