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October 22, 2019, 12:16:30 am

Author Topic: Dragging myself towards my goals  (Read 2945 times)

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pepper77

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Re: Dragging myself towards my goals
« Reply #15 on: January 14, 2019, 07:03:10 pm »
+3
Warning: this topic has not been posted in for at least 30 days. Unless you're sure you want to reply, please consider starting a new topic.

Stop making me feel bad about myself! ;D

Yeah, so, I wrote a post telling everyone what I got in Bio but accidentally closed the tab. And then I forgot to come back here for a month. I changed my mind and have decided to keep my study score a secret for now (hint: it made me happy and my Asian mum angry), but I thought I should set out some goals for the year while it's still January. It is still January, right? (Also, I got my GAT results and they're telling me I should dump science/maths and go do art. Thanks ever so, VCAA.)

Short term goals
Spoiler
  • Start my English Language essay and get started on reading Living Lingo
  • Work with my EngLang teacher to find out why analysing conversations and understanding relationships between interlocutors is so difficult for me, and fix that ish before exam time
  • Watch the Khan Academy videos about motion, which I still don't understand  :( it's fine when I have the worked answers, but I need to practise getting there without them. I'm hoping I can get a tutor

Long term goals
Spoiler
  • Continue thinking about what I want to study at university
  • Build my confidence by doing more homework. No more hearing someone else whisper the wrong answer to a problem and changing my (obviously correct) answer to match theirs. :P :-[
  • Gradually cut back on studying a LOTE (I started up during the summer holidays because I was bored, and I've fallen into the habit of working a little bit each day). I'm concerned it's going to cut into my study time this year
  • Read at least 3 new books this year. Last year I gave up on reading for pleasure because I was so focused on school and only read one (very long) web serial. I'd like my 2019 to be more balanced

God, it's hot. I haven't gone outside or turned my little fan off in days but I'm still melting. I am going away to Sorrento for a week tomorrow, and I'm really looking forward to relaxing. Hope it cools down a bit before then. I honestly don't think I've been able to rest properly since
Spoiler
I had to keep changing that year because I kept remembering awful things that happened lmao I miss being a seven year old with a library card
2008. Can't wait to lie on the beach and let the sand flies reduce me to debris. Catch me floating away from VCE hell via the Bass Strait 8)

If anyone reading this is still in high school, do your homework try writing a few goals just so that you can reflect on them at the end of the year. Highly recommend it. And please get plenty of rest during January and February, because the heat combined with the increased workload can really mess with your health.

Macrophagee

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Re: Dragging myself towards my goals
« Reply #16 on: January 14, 2019, 07:25:41 pm »
+1
Hey
Congrats on completing bio 3/4!! I was also disappointed with my scores so it's perfectly ok for you to feel whatever you have to feel.
Looking forward to reading about your year 12 :)
Year 11:Biology, Further
Year 12: English, Chemistry, Methods,  Spesh, Health and Human Development

pepper77

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Re: Dragging myself towards my goals
« Reply #17 on: January 29, 2019, 06:26:19 pm »
+7
First day of school tomorrow. I wasn't sure if I should post this or not, since it isn't totally relevant to VCE, but I figure some of you might be able to relate to this: I've got the pre-pre-pre-pre-exam jitters. I've had nightmares for the past few nights and I found myself lying awake at 5am today, without having fallen asleep at all. Hopefully it'll go away after tomorrow. I'm just worried about the future, since I really don't know what I'll do after I graduate. (Feels bad but at the same time I find it hilarious that as soon as I thought "I'm so excited to start studying and seeing my friends again" I got hit with this ;D)

I actually have one last bit of homework left. :-[ It's a partially-done English Language essay. I always struggle to start essays, so I wasn't too worried about leaving it for last, but now I'm all shaky I seriously think I might not get it done for Thursday. Well, whatever. I'm eating some chocolate to give myself some energy, and then I'm going to shower and do something completely unrelated to school until I go to bed. Might listen to music. I'm going to come back to my essay tomorrow. To be honest, I think it's great that I'm getting stressed out before I have SACs to worry about. Will work out how best to calm down now and write it down for future reference.


Hey
Congrats on completing bio 3/4!! I was also disappointed with my scores so it's perfectly ok for you to feel whatever you have to feel.
Looking forward to reading about your year 12 :)


Thanks! I'm honestly happy with my average score (if it was higher, I'd be beating myself up like "why didn't I get a 35 or a 40"). I'm sorry to hear that you were disappointed, though. Good luck this year!  :)

PhoenixxFire

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Re: Dragging myself towards my goals
« Reply #18 on: February 02, 2019, 05:18:10 pm »
+1
First day of school tomorrow. I wasn't sure if I should post this or not, since it isn't totally relevant to VCE, but I figure some of you might be able to relate to this: I've got the pre-pre-pre-pre-exam jitters. I've had nightmares for the past few nights and I found myself lying awake at 5am today, without having fallen asleep at all. Hopefully it'll go away after tomorrow. I'm just worried about the future, since I really don't know what I'll do after I graduate. (Feels bad but at the same time I find it hilarious that as soon as I thought "I'm so excited to start studying and seeing my friends again" I got hit with this ;D)
I actually found the prospect of year 12 more daunting than year 12 actually was. I remember towards the start of the year I'd freak out a bit because it was year 12, I was worrying about it because I felt like I was supposed to be worrying about it if that makes sense, but after a month or so you'll get into a bit of a routine and it's not so bad :)
2019: B Environment and Sustainability/B Science @ ANU

Macrophagee

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Re: Dragging myself towards my goals
« Reply #19 on: February 02, 2019, 07:45:39 pm »
+1
Hey thanks for your message 😊nice to see it when i log in lol

Yeah i only had 2 days of year 12 so far and its going pretty good so far.....wait till i have 5 SACS in the one week and ask me again how i feel looool 😂😂
Year 11:Biology, Further
Year 12: English, Chemistry, Methods,  Spesh, Health and Human Development

pepper77

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Re: Dragging myself towards my goals
« Reply #20 on: February 04, 2019, 08:34:53 pm »
+5
I like this thread's title. Really feels relevant today.

I got lost trying to find my way to my first class, and then I found out that I have a Methods SAC tomorrow. I missed the first lesson since I was sick (nerves??), and since I have homework for Physics I won't be able to study much. C'est la vie, and vie is probably tired of all those people throwing lemons back in its face. I know it's just my mind playing tricks on me, but I feel really down.

It's too soon for me to pass judgment on my other subjects, but I like English Language 3/4 a lot. Learning about informal and formal texts interests me. Oh, also, I like the teacher because she didn't really single me out or call me out for bringing a book to class (I was so engrossed in it during lunch that I didn't hear the bell ring so I just took it with me.) My heart was beating really fast and I was struggling to breathe during that class (still am oops), so I really am glad she didn't force me to speak. I think I need more time to get used to being back at school.

I wish I could post something more positive, but apart from the blissful hour of reading I got today's been bad. I'll do my homework, though. If anyone reading this is putting off homework, do it with me! If someone as messy as me can work, so can you :P

pepper77

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Re: Dragging myself towards my goals
« Reply #21 on: February 07, 2019, 12:43:46 am »
+4
I woke up feeling like I'd been run over by a bus, but today was actually quite nice. I only had one class, which was good, and it was physics, which was even better, and I understood what was going on, which was best of all. I miss being the one to finish all her homework in class, with it all correct. Yesterday I was trying to do this problem that wanted tension expressed in a weirdly specific way, so today I asked my teacher about it... and as it turned out I had the total mixed up with a component. I wrote down an extra letter ;D The 77 in my name might stand for 77% airhead. Anyway, it was satisfying to finally understand it. I also saw a tutor for that subject yesterday, so I felt more confident in class. I did some questions on my own. :)

The Methods SAC went okay. I feel like I probably made a bunch of stupid mistakes... I'm still seeing the maths tutor from last year. Today we went over simple proof by induction and I finally get it. It's like a light switch has flipped in my head (one of those sticky ones that you need to flick on and off until it gives a proper click). She's been a teacher for a looong time, so she sometimes makes mistakes which I really like. But man, do I ever need to practise induction. I don't know where I'll find time.. How do people find time to have hobbies and sleep and study and work and exercise? I haven't touched my stitching in ages and I haven't opened the books I got for Christmas at all :(

I'm writing the last 200 words of my essay right now. It's not up to my usual standard, but at least it's making me think about in/formality. I'm also thinking my room might be haunted, because I just saw something white fall in my peripheral but there's nothing on the floor. If I don't update this journal again, you'll know what's happened.

pepper77

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Re: Dragging myself towards my goals
« Reply #22 on: February 10, 2019, 12:08:19 am »
+1
I finished a book yesterday! It took me two lunches, two recesses and 15 minutes of homeroom. Since I'm still worried about people irl recognising me, I won't tell you the title, but I will tell you the next one on my list. It's called Prelude to Foundation and all I know about it is that it's sci-fi and written by a popular author. I'm just stealing books from other people's shelves. The dust on them makes me sad. :( We have a whole bookcase full of Greek/Roman stories and a little bit of linguistic stuff and I honestly don't think they've been touched since we moved into this house.

Anyway, this is a VCE journal so I'll stop rambling. I don't know how I went on the Methods SAC but I don't think I did well.. the class as a whole seems to have disappointed the teacher so I'm willing to bet I got below 70%. How embarrassing. Still, the next one is coming up and I know exactly what to study for that. This test had an extra concept that slipped my mind, so I didn't brush up on it beforehand.

I have a Physics SAC coming up Soon™. I know my teacher explained what was going to be on it, but I didn't write it down and now I can't remember what she said! I'm happy I remember that I've forgotten something, but I'm also upset because I can't claw it back to the front of my mind. I'd almost rather not know at all. (Having a mind like a sieve is so frustrating, you guys. Even writing things on my hands, where I'm sure to see it, isn't enough. It's as if the thoughts just float out of the top of my head like bubbles.)

In English Language we learnt about positive and negative face. I learnt a lot. (Positive face is the need to be affirmed and reassured that you are valued and appreciated, whereas negative face is the need for personal freedom and autonomy. So if I say "you, lurker, vote up on all my posts," I'm not taking care of your negative face needs. But if I ask you politely for a vote then that's okay, because I'm not ordering you to do it.) I'm already minding people's positive face needs, but I had no idea about my own negative face needs. It's food for thought. I hope the course has more content like this.

I forgot the specifics of my homework 5 seconds after the teacher told us (I had just put pen to palm when it disappeared ;D) but I've made an educated guess and set myself some textbook questions to do and videos to watch. I wrote my list down in my diary so that I can't lose it. I also downloaded a timetable app to put my homework into and allocate time for studying, so I'll let you all know if it works.

pepper77

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Re: Dragging myself towards my goals
« Reply #23 on: February 16, 2019, 04:54:33 pm »
+3
debating whether I should post on here when I'm in a bad mood but I'm gonna do it anyway lmao ::salt:: every time I've tried to study this year I've been interrupted by noise! There's construction work going on, so there's usually drilling right outside my window. When that stops, my parents start blasting the TV/music and calling me to 'fix' their computers. And whenever they walk past my window they bang on it to say hello! It's infuriating to have to play nice. I never complain to them because that makes it worse, but I really think I might have to. They say they want me to do well, but they act like they want me to stay at home and wait on them forever.

Strangely enough, school doesn't seem much quieter than home? We had a mock SAC during English Language and I swear it got louder. Nobody really took ELA SACs seriously in Year 11 (people would whisper the answers to each other ::)), but you'd think they would settle down in Year 12. Guess not. I sometimes have to cover my ears when it gets to be too painful, but despite that I actually like the background chatter. I'm confident I'll get a good score, so if talking helps my classmates then I'm okay with it. I just want them to like it as much as I do. Kate Burridge please adopt me.

I got a shit score on my methods test (C+, end me) but I didn't study for it, so I suppose I got what I deserve. I did my English homework instead. I don't really have a study routine because of the noise issue, I just prioritise 3/4 subjects and shove time in whenever I can.
edit 18/2: I had a chance to look over my test and I lost marks entirely through silly mistakes. Turns out I have the actual concepts down, thank god

Anyway my parents just left so I'm going to do my homework now and checkpoints later. ATARNotes, I will claw my way to a 95 if it kills me.
« Last Edit: February 18, 2019, 07:55:58 pm by pepper77 »

smamsmo22

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Re: Dragging myself towards my goals
« Reply #24 on: February 16, 2019, 11:50:28 pm »
+2
I don't think posting while in a bad mood is a bad thing.. it'll be more interesting and realistic to look back on later on :P

As for the noise, that really sucks :/ Does your school offer any study spaces/ a library which you can access? I never studied at school before year 12 last year but I ended up using our silent study room pretty much every night and it was really helpful with providing a distraction free, quiet environment... especially compared to my house (3 young siblings :o) Otherwise public libraries can be pretty good!! I also find it kinda strange that students are allowed to talk during SACs? Oh well, more props to you for being able to focus on yourself- well done!! I really like your determination... once again, good on you for aiming high :D The start of this year (especially as you're still year 11) is all about adjusting and finding what works best for you; don't be too discouraged if you haven't got the hang of a study routine yet.

Hoping you can get some peace and quiet soon though :P Good luck!
2018 - VCE - ATAR: 99.75 [English, Chemistry, Methods, French, PE, Bio]
2019 - Monash

pepper77

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Re: Dragging myself towards my goals
« Reply #25 on: February 17, 2019, 12:14:11 pm »
0
-snip-

Hahaha maybe so. I definitely don't want to bore the people reading this. :P

As for the noise.. my school does have a small study room with room for <20 people, but it's too dark to see in there (no lights, just a skylight). The library is usually closed at lunch or unavailable due to younger kids having lessons in there, but when it's free it's nice. So I'm thinking about either asking the librarian when the kids are in there so I can plan around them, or just settling down before a class and seeing whether I get kicked out or not lmao. I'm being treated like a Year 12 (no one knows I'm doing a 3 year VCE thank god) so I do have access to the common room, but it's seriously deafening in there so I think the library is better. Omg, 3 young siblings sounds insane. Are you superhuman??

I don't think we're allowed to talk, it's more that the teachers can't be bothered to tell students to shut up. Public school, what can you do? Thanks for the luck, I'll be needing it ;D

smamsmo22

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Re: Dragging myself towards my goals
« Reply #26 on: February 18, 2019, 12:28:56 am »
+1
Hahaha maybe so. I definitely don't want to bore the people reading this. :P

As for the noise.. my school does have a small study room with room for <20 people, but it's too dark to see in there (no lights, just a skylight). The library is usually closed at lunch or unavailable due to younger kids having lessons in there, but when it's free it's nice. So I'm thinking about either asking the librarian when the kids are in there so I can plan around them, or just settling down before a class and seeing whether I get kicked out or not lmao. I'm being treated like a Year 12 (no one knows I'm doing a 3 year VCE thank god) so I do have access to the common room, but it's seriously deafening in there so I think the library is better. Omg, 3 young siblings sounds insane. Are you superhuman??

I don't think we're allowed to talk, it's more that the teachers can't be bothered to tell students to shut up. Public school, what can you do? Thanks for the luck, I'll be needing it ;D

Oh okay; well, if you can find somewhere quieter to study, I'd definitely recommend it (again - all the public libraries I've been to have offered some half decent study area/quieter desk space). Having younger siblings definitely did contribute to my appreciation for these types of spaces (and I agree that the common room does not fall into this category). Good luck for your upcoming SACs and I hope that you won't have to deal with any background chatter :D
2018 - VCE - ATAR: 99.75 [English, Chemistry, Methods, French, PE, Bio]
2019 - Monash

pepper77

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Re: Dragging myself towards my goals
« Reply #27 on: February 22, 2019, 10:31:12 pm »
+3
i could cry. i spent over an hour typing a moderately long update and atarnotes logs me out when i click preview. if a mod is reading this id like to ban whoever was responsible (if no one is at fault blame vcaa. i blame them whenever anything bad happens)

tldr was: im in the start of a slump ⇒ fingers weigh 1kg each, cant type or eat or sleep or study, prepping for english language sac and physics sac, bombed specialist. making list (according to a recent comment i made) tomorrow. i wish i could roll into a gutter and stay there until i drown or vcaa hauls me out to sit the gat. slump will last at least two weeks will update with capital letters when im not catatonic because this post alone took 40 minutes to type and ive been trying to press post for 10

also methods can die and take its graphs with it

Bri MT

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Re: Dragging myself towards my goals
« Reply #28 on: February 23, 2019, 09:18:48 am »
+2
Hey,  I'm sorry to hear that things aren't going great atm :(. In regards to your post vanishing when you press submit, I've had that happen to me a few times as well so now when I'm making a long post I often write it in word first then copy and paste it over. 

I hope things ease up for you soon; if you have school councillors it might be worth talking to one of them to see if they can help you out. They might be able to help act as an intermediary between you and staff to help you find quiet when you need it. 

Again,  I hope things get better for you swiftly - good luck :)
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pepper77

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Re: Dragging myself towards my goals
« Reply #29 on: February 23, 2019, 10:51:37 am »
+2
Hey,  I'm sorry to hear that things aren't going great atm :(. In regards to your post vanishing when you press submit, I've had that happen to me a few times as well so now when I'm making a long post I often write it in word first then copy and paste it over. 

I hope things ease up for you soon; if you have school councillors it might be worth talking to one of them to see if they can help you out. They might be able to help act as an intermediary between you and staff to help you find quiet when you need it. 

Again,  I hope things get better for you swiftly - good luck :)


thanks :) i should probably start pasting my posts too. i have a few more ideas to try before i see the counsellor, but if all else fails ill definitely go looking for them. heres hoping these next 2 weeks fly past