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June 06, 2020, 06:05:27 am

Author Topic: I need to eat more.  (Read 11031 times)

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PhoenixxFire

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Re: I need to eat more.
« Reply #60 on: July 02, 2019, 04:28:57 pm »
+6
like a carrot.
Not sure if deliberate but I feel attacked lol. I swear Iím gonna start crying if I forget to buy carrots again tonight.

I also drank enough water to not die this week, so that's a big plus!
A very big plus! 💜💜
2019: B Environment and Sustainability/B Science @ ANU
2020: Just Vibing

laura_

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Re: I need to eat more.
« Reply #61 on: August 06, 2019, 09:39:29 pm »
+4
How have you been Poet?
but thereís only so much shrinking a girl can do before she disappears

Poet

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Re: I need to eat more.
« Reply #62 on: August 11, 2019, 02:34:08 pm »
+8
How have you been Poet?
H3ll0

Ahahaha relapses are fun.

That was sarcasm. Anywho have a bunch of 🐢🐢🐢🐢 and ✨✨✨✨ because I haven't hit anything to celebrate about for more than a month.

I've been almost constantly nauseous and stressed so my tummy has shrunk to about the size of two peas holding hands. I try but give up after two days of immediate failures. I feel like a failure a lot. And it's hard to post this because I'm exposing my shame to the world but I don't know, maybe it'll help.

I'm mad at myself for a lot of things at the moment, so apologies for not replying earlier. I'd stopped trying and I feel like a disappointment for it.
I will take responsibility for what I have done. If I must fall, I will rise each time a better man.
Dealing with Year 12 - Put Your Mental Health at the Forefront
A Little Guide to Healthy Eating

Poet

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Re: I need to eat more.
« Reply #63 on: August 16, 2019, 05:33:49 pm »
+10
Three days this week, I had three meals.

One day this week, I had one meal.

The rest, I had two meals.

I didn't keep track of the precise dates, but it's a dramatic upswing. The encouragement really helps.
I've felt drastically less nauseous than usual, so I think my stomach has grown a little bit. I don't need reminding at lunch time to grab something to eat. Today I had some dumplings! Tonight I'll probably have some sausages or a burrito. I mean, I'm not eating much but it's something.

I've been feeling really negative about my body lately. Maybe eating properly and healthily will help me feel more positive.

That's all.
I will take responsibility for what I have done. If I must fall, I will rise each time a better man.
Dealing with Year 12 - Put Your Mental Health at the Forefront
A Little Guide to Healthy Eating

laura_

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Re: I need to eat more.
« Reply #64 on: August 17, 2019, 06:35:10 pm »
+3
So proud of you Poet! <3
but thereís only so much shrinking a girl can do before she disappears

Poet

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Re: I need to eat more.
« Reply #65 on: September 16, 2019, 03:45:37 pm »
+14
Real live footage of me these last couple of weeks:


(I'm a mess but still keen to raid your pantries)
((It's an opossum because I'm American so I can do that))

MY LOVELY PEOPLE

IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT MY STOMACH IS NO LONGER THE SIZE OF TWO PEAS HOLDING HANDS

My nausea has gone down a lot the past while as per my last post ANDDDDD I've actually wanted to eat!!1!!11
I'll have had three meals after dinner tonight and I don't think I've been down to one meal in a day for two weeks at least. This is very exciting and good and nice and last night I ate so much fish and chips and my final aim is to die of chicken salt poisoning and I cannot wait. This was a joke, however, I do enjoy chicken salt.

Body image still isn't the best and a lot of the time my brain is very keen on calling me fat, which I am most definitely not, or somehow otherwise repulsive, which is more believable. So I'll keep working at that and not associate the various ugly parts of Me with eating healthily and regularly.

We will finish this post with a picture of a duck because I like ducks. Enjoy himb. Eat good please. Thanks.
Spoiler
I will take responsibility for what I have done. If I must fall, I will rise each time a better man.
Dealing with Year 12 - Put Your Mental Health at the Forefront
A Little Guide to Healthy Eating

laura_

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Re: I need to eat more.
« Reply #66 on: September 16, 2019, 04:54:34 pm »
+2
So proud Poet! <3
but thereís only so much shrinking a girl can do before she disappears

Erutepa

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Re: I need to eat more.
« Reply #67 on: September 16, 2019, 09:33:44 pm »
+5
Real live footage of me these last couple of weeks:
(Image removed from quote.)

(I'm a mess but still keen to raid your pantries)
((It's an opossum because I'm American so I can do that))

MY LOVELY PEOPLE

IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT MY STOMACH IS NO LONGER THE SIZE OF TWO PEAS HOLDING HANDS

My nausea has gone down a lot the past while as per my last post ANDDDDD I've actually wanted to eat!!1!!11
I'll have had three meals after dinner tonight and I don't think I've been down to one meal in a day for two weeks at least. This is very exciting and good and nice and last night I ate so much fish and chips and my final aim is to die of chicken salt poisoning and I cannot wait. This was a joke, however, I do enjoy chicken salt.

Body image still isn't the best and a lot of the time my brain is very keen on calling me fat, which I am most definitely not, or somehow otherwise repulsive, which is more believable. So I'll keep working at that and not associate the various ugly parts of Me with eating healthily and regularly.

We will finish this post with a picture of a duck because I like ducks. Enjoy himb. Eat good please. Thanks.
Spoiler
AMAZING!!!!
I laughed aLOT at the live footage of you. You are looking a bit hairier and more opossum-y than I remember tho.
Keep up the great eating!
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Poet

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Re: I need to eat more.
« Reply #68 on: October 02, 2019, 07:40:09 pm »
+12
She's back.
Boy howdy, we've had some wild ups and downs, huh.

I'm currently lying in bed feeling like I'm about to vomit because I tried to eat a few chips; looks like my week or so of glory has ended (although I am still eating at least twice a day!!) I'm trying to take probiotics in the hope that my stomach bacteria will settle (if they're what's causing the problem) but I'm just tired of this and can't afford a goddamn gastroenterologist. I don't think I'm pregnant..? so not sure why my body hates me.

I'll start being a lot more active on AN though, because new computer = ease of access and all that so you'll be getting some shweet weekly updates again.

I need a pay raise. I need a life raise. Pray for me. Send cute duck memes.
I will take responsibility for what I have done. If I must fall, I will rise each time a better man.
Dealing with Year 12 - Put Your Mental Health at the Forefront
A Little Guide to Healthy Eating

Poet

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Re: I need to eat more.
« Reply #69 on: October 04, 2019, 08:27:19 pm »
+10
So it's 2 days after my last update and I have eaten some yoghurt, cheese and a whopping total of 7 chicken crimpy crackers. That's literally it. My head is light and I left work early today because I can't function. Fell over trying to get up from bed to go to the toilet just before and lay there in the dark for a while. Can't remember if I fainted or not. I keep almost throwing up but there's nothing to throw up anymore so...

This is very similar to the crap I went through at the start of the year so if I haven't improved by tomorrow I'm going to the doctors and will probably end up getting tested for everything under the sun again. Stressed because I need to work to live and I don't want to take sick leave but if I can't even get to the bus stop by myself there's no way I can work intensely for 8 hours.

I was going so well. This is probably one of the most maddening things I've ever experienced. This took forever to type. Sorry y'all.
I will take responsibility for what I have done. If I must fall, I will rise each time a better man.
Dealing with Year 12 - Put Your Mental Health at the Forefront
A Little Guide to Healthy Eating

Bri MT

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Re: I need to eat more.
« Reply #70 on: October 04, 2019, 08:45:38 pm »
+13
There's nothing to apologise for; we're here to support you & that means supporting you through the slip-ups too.

That you've had a healthier diet before shows that you can have a healthier one again too. I like to think that getting practice at rebuilding from the falls increases your resilience at the end. I wish you didn't have so much opportunity to practice made available to you, but I'm thinking that once you no longer have these obstacles and weights slowing you down you'll soar. I'm proud of you, for the progress you push for and for being you.

lm21074

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Re: I need to eat more.
« Reply #71 on: January 14, 2020, 10:05:45 pm »
+8
Hey Poet, how's this going? :)

Poet

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Re: I need to eat more.
« Reply #72 on: January 16, 2020, 09:41:48 am »
+12
Hey Poet, how's this going? :)
Hey lm! I'm doing OK.

Actually, in terms of eating, I've been doing the best I've ever done for the past couple of months. Apologies for taking so long to update, a lot happened and I took a bit of a break from a few things, including my own accountability.

I've started eating breakfasts - nothing big, but just doing my best to keep the sickness at bay in the mornings. Ironically, this morning is one of the rare mornings I haven't been able to bring myself to eat. I went on a holiday with Erutepa's family for two weeks and have basically been adopted over the course of the last few months leading up to that. That means that I was force-fed breakfasts if I was over in the mornings and 3 meals a day over the holiday - and that kind of helped desensitise my stomach a bit. I do have days like this one where I feel too sick to eat anything but it tends to fade to a bearable point before the afternoon. Life just goes on.

Thanks for reminding me about my journal, I'll try and update more often :)
I will take responsibility for what I have done. If I must fall, I will rise each time a better man.
Dealing with Year 12 - Put Your Mental Health at the Forefront
A Little Guide to Healthy Eating

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Re: I need to eat more.
« Reply #73 on: January 23, 2020, 12:34:01 pm »
+14
I spoke too soon about the breakfast debacle - you know how some people just aren't, like, breakfast people? I am one of those non-breakfast people. This is a decision that has been made by myself and my body so please don't argue. I do have a small snack around 10.30-11 before lunch but breakfast never really crosses my mind unless someone really pushes me to hop on it. Whoopsies!

AnywaYYYSSS the past few days I've been super sad and whatever so my ability/want to ingest things as a requirement for living is drastically decreased so I have been doing pretty badly. But every day I've had at least 1 and a half meals, which is still an improvement on my previous standards.

That's all. I am getting a phone call so bye hehe
I will take responsibility for what I have done. If I must fall, I will rise each time a better man.
Dealing with Year 12 - Put Your Mental Health at the Forefront
A Little Guide to Healthy Eating