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December 05, 2021, 01:55:24 pm

Author Topic: 50 in English, available for queries :)  (Read 273096 times)  Share 

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mikehepro

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #240 on: May 02, 2014, 09:50:49 pm »
0
Hey Lauren:

I have a question on a language analysis SAC coming up next week. If i got into a case where i have to analysis 3 articles and an embedded image,how should i approach it?  For example i have 3 texts for the following issue: AFL placed a ban on competition and awards that had been limited to under 8-9 games have now been extended to older age group of under 10. This bans the keeping of scores and best and fairest awards.
The three texts are in the format of:
1st text: An article that disagree with this decision and argues that kids need to learn the process of winning and losing, and this decision is ridiculous. It also have an embedded image that shows a bunch of boys playing footy which supports the argument.
2nd text: An article which have the same point of view as the first article;however in addition to the learning process mentioned in the first article,this text discussed about "competitive parent"as well.
3rd text: This is a opinion piece in a blog where it's a direction comment on the first text, it entirely disagree with the first text and introduce a lot of anecdotes and arguments to rebut the first article.

How should i structure this analysis????
I'm thinking like this atm.
1. Introduction
2. Analysis of first text
3. Analysis of second text
4. Analysis of third text
5. Compare them
6. Conclusion
But i don't think this will fit the criteria set by my teacher. I'm in ESL, so he only want me to "Write a piece of prose that explains how language and visual features have been used in the articles to attempt to persuade the audience about three of the main points"
He even made "three" bold, does this mean i just pick out three central arguments that best fit the three articles??? God i'm really confused.
I really appreciate your response.
Thanks
2015: UoM BSci

literally lauren

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #241 on: May 03, 2014, 01:04:22 am »
+7
Sorry about the delay everyone, uni assessment always gets heavy when you're sick, that's just a fact of life  :-[
Responses below, hope they're not too late:
(collapsible tabs so as not to clog the thread) :) yay for learning about new buttons

scandin9: (essay)
Spoiler
Your analysis is excellent, and your vocab is extremely impressive. At times, some word choices seem a bit clunky (eg. "the melancholy state of the previous government") Forgive me for not doing a whole quote-correction post, but there's really not much I can say. The only way I can see an assessor giving this any less than a 10/10 is if you get one of those horrible ones that resent students using words they don't know (they're out there, trust me.) Personally, I'm a big advocate for sophisticated vocab when it's used appropriately and effectively, and it worked out okay for me in the end, but it is a risky move from an ATAR point of view. Ultimately the advantage you'll get from an expansive vocabulary is more than worth it, but just be aware that this sort of language has to be used properly, lest you get a petty assessor taking out their insecurities on you. I'm probably overplaying it, they're one in a hundred, just keep in mind when writing that your language choices at this level are going to be noticed by assessors for better or for worse.
If this is indicative of the quality of all your analysis, you can afford to kick back for awhile on that front. This is an excellent, comprehensive and fluent response :)

tiff_tiff: (connotation analysis)
Spoiler
I can't comment without knowing the context of the quote. But look at the connotations of a word like 'cruel.' It implies malevolence, heartlessness, brutality, neglect... do any of these apply? Do the same with 'failure'. What words come to mind? More importantly, and at the risk of sounding like a psych major, how does it make you (or other readers) feel? I've posted quite a few times on how to conduct this word-level analysis, so have a browse if you're still stuck.

yang_dong: (connotation analysis)
Spoiler
Same advice as above regarding word-level analysis. In this case, what does inflamed mean? Don't be afraid to look it up if you need a specific definition. 'Give cause to' is very pedestrian, and could be used for any number of things (my hunger gives cause to me eating) but inflamed is like throwing petrol on an already burning fire. It suggests something is exacerbating the issue, as opposed to bringing it about.
Hope that helps.

Chang Feng: (Context criteria and advice)
Spoiler
There are three main criteria (these are basically the same for Text Responses too) but, *DISCLAIMER* these are NOT the OFFICIAL VCAA CRITERIA, that can be found here: http://www.vcaa.vic.edu.au/Documents/exams/english/2009Eng-crit-descriptors-V2.pdf
These are simple the categories I use to explain the task in a way that makes more sense than spectacularly banal criteria like "conducting an effective discussion in response to the task". If you're fulfiling the below then you're checking all the VCAA boxes too.
  • Relevance: this seems like the easiest one; your essay must be relevant to the prompt, the text, and the context. Here it's quite easy to score in the medium to high band without even realising. However, this can be the criterion that separates an 8 or 9 from a 10. Suppose you were dealing with the prompt: 'Memories are the source of our illusions' (Whose Reality) and you wrote an excellent essay about how memory and illusion both obscure reality. If your essay doesn't deal with the relationship between memory and illusion (ie. one being the source of another) then you haven't unpacked the prompt as much as you could. The more complex the prompt, the harder this will be. But say you got a monster like last year's conflict one: 'Conflict of conscience can be just as difficult as conflict between people.' No assessor sits there with a checklist of things you must discuss, just be aware that there's a lot to discuss in those few words, and you're competing against a whole state of people. No pressure :)
  • Ideas (quality and sophistication): This tends to flow on from the first one; the arguments or at least discussion in your essay must be exemplary in both quality and quantity. I don't mean write a long, dense piece, but context essays are often asking you to comment on general human truths; you can't really do this well by only using one example per paragraph and not developing it adequately. My advice for improving here is to keep asking yourself questions. Every time you make a point that feels under-developed, ask how do I know this? Why is this the case? Is this the case for everyone? What does this tell us about the Context/text? Are there any examples that refute this? etc. etc. until your brain hurts
  • Writing (grammar, control, flow, language): See earlier posts if this is an issue. How you practice and improve upon this will depend on your current ability. If you have a lot of trouble with run-on or fragmented sentences, then you'll have to address that before attempting the next steps. Varied sentence length is always a strong tactic with context essays, especially creative pieces or hybrids. The flow of language is closely linked with the flow of ideas, does your essay make sense logically? Read it aloud if you have to. Then comes the vocab; don't rush this as it's a very gradual process, and it's better that you use the language at your disposal than try to cram in big words where they don't belong. But context is, if nothing else, a chance to show off and write how you want to, so find something interesting, and develop as much language as you can to deal with these topics, be they political, historical, literary, theoretical, philosophical, or anecdotal.
    The worst thing you can do is be boring.
"how do you write one" is an incredibly hard question to answer. Could you tell me what exactly you're struggling with. What styles/forms you're considering writing in? If there's any advice your teacher has given you about common mistakes (general or individual) then I'd start there.

mikehepro: (L.A. structure)
Spoiler
First of all, don't structure article-by-article if you can avoid it. It's an incredibly simplistic way of doing things, and often isn't reflective of the balance of material (if you've got an article that's two pages long, and another that's two sentences, you can't devote one paragraph to each, right?)
I don't know what your teacher means by 'main points.' Are these things you've discussed in class/ can ask him about? I'll assume they're your school's version of key players/ stakeholders. (I've got an L.A. structural guide in the first post on this thread, check that out if you need it.) The 'points' are the people/things/ideas involved in the issue. In this case, without having read the articles, I'll assume the points are -children, -parents, -AFL, -winning. Your mission, should you chose to accept it, is to: work out how each author wants us to feel about these 'points' and why? For instance: it sounds like the 1st author is pro-competition, so he would want to portray children as sporty, able youths that need to learn winning and losing in order to appreciate the game. Whereas, the 3rd article might suggest children are so precious and sensitive that losing would hurt their feelings, so we (readers) must protect them by removing the competition from sport.
See how each author wants us to think differently about the same thing? You can do this with each of the 'points'. So you can have one paragraph on children/young players, one on parents/coaches/society, one on the AFL/Little League or whatever/sporting culture, and one on the idea of winning/losing/competition.

This is the structure I usually recommend, but if your teacher intended something different, let me know and I might be able to help clarify

*exhales*

hyunah

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #242 on: May 03, 2014, 05:10:42 pm »
0
I hope you're feeling better :)

'the fact that we know the name of the unfortunate victim of the Manus riot is testament to the success of the Abbott Governmentís policies in stopping the boats. How many of the bleeding hearts at candlelight vigils around the country last weekend could name any of the more than 1200 asylum seekers who drowned trying to reach Australia under Laborís watch?

Where were the vigils for the tiny victims who boarded a leaky boat with their parents and who died a horrible death at sea?'

i;m not sure what the contention is?

smile+energy

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #243 on: May 06, 2014, 10:53:09 am »
0
Hi, Lauren

Could please give me some ideas of how to write a good body and a good conclusion for a text response essay? (if the question is character/theme question). Thanks in advance.

2014: English(EAL)   Methods   Biology   Health and human development   Accounting

literally lauren

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #244 on: May 06, 2014, 09:22:35 pm »
+5
hyunah:

If you're struggling to find the contention, imagine you were reading the article without any prior knowledge or bias; what do you think/feel after reading it? If you can answer this question and support it rationally and plausibly, then you'll get the marks. Try to locate any possible bias in their language (something like "bleeding hearts" is a dead give away.) If all else fails, imagine you are the author. Why have you written the article in this way? Who are you sympathising with/criticising? Start simple, then build up from there. If this is the entire text/comment then you won't have much to work with, but it's good practice nonetheless.

smile+energy:

What exactly are you struggling with? If you haven't written any essays yet, don't think about body paragraphs/conclusions yet. Focus on the content, then when you're ready, apply the content in practice essays. Your teacher will be able to provide commentary on your structure (or there's always AN :P)
If you want to post or PM a sample I'd be happy to give you more specific advice, but for now, just concentrate on learning the material. Asking how to write a good essay now is like asking how to do the physics exam without having learnt the formulae and theories and whatever else science consists of...
Basically, there are many different kinds of "good" paragraphs and I don't want to confuse you by giving you a list of do's and don't's. The best way to improve is to know what you're doing wrong, and the only way to work that out is by writing an essay and utilising the feedback.
If you're having trouble with the actual writing process, then narrow it down for me:
Is it that you don't know what to write (if so, then go back to the text/context/articles/your notes/the criteria/sample essays/teacher's comments etc.)
Or is it that you don't know how to write it? This might indicate trouble with your expression.
See if you can identify the problem (if there is one) then come back to me :)

smile+energy

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #245 on: May 07, 2014, 03:43:56 pm »
0
Hi, Lauren

Thanks heaps.
Yes, your guess about my situation is right.  :)
I know what to write but i don't know how to write it. Could you give some advice for that?
And could I ask you why your essay writing is so formal?
My teacher commented on my essay: can you be more formal?   :(
 

« Last Edit: May 07, 2014, 03:49:57 pm by smile+energy »
2014: English(EAL)   Methods   Biology   Health and human development   Accounting

zeiinaaa

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #246 on: May 07, 2014, 03:45:22 pm »
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Hey Lauren, just a quick question! How did you expand your vocabulary?
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Summers

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #247 on: May 07, 2014, 07:03:27 pm »
0
Hi Lauren,

This must get tiring answering so many questions in such great depth! But (:D), I have a language analysis SAC on Monday and I really don't understand how to do it. We've been told to pick out strategies from the 3 pieces which I don't understand nor know able to fake it, and what, how and why or something.

Do you have a language analysis tutorial or formula that I could possibly follow? It should be really easy but my teacher is a complete dud and everyone has been failing or just passing lang anal practices. Thanks!

literally lauren

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #248 on: May 08, 2014, 08:45:44 pm »
+5
smile+energy
Work out what you want to say in simple english before you try to write it. Rather than beginning a sentence and then make up the ideas as you go, work out (in your head or on paper) what your main contention is, then what each argument is going to be, as well as a few examples you're going to use.
Another good tip is to make sure you know what each sentence is trying to communicate. If you don't know what you're trying to say, then neither will your assessor. Stick to a TEEL structure or something similar (Topic sentence, Example, Explain/Elaborate, Link and repeat)
Re: formality, my essays are "formal" because that's how they're meant to be, I guess. It's how I learned to write; I've never really noticed. This kind of links in with the discussion about vocab below, but I think it's better to be communicating a simple point with basic language than to try and get across a really good, complex idea with convoluted, messy language. Work to your own ability level, but remember your essay shouldn't sound like an informal conversation. Maybe read through some practices (from your school would be best for SACs, VCAA's website is good for exam prep, and this forum is good for general stuff) just to get a feel for the formality required.

zeiinaaa:
I read dictionaries. Don't judge me :-[
Reading widely helps A LOT! I've preached about this heaps, but finding your 'niche' (sci-fi, satire, adventure, classics) will make the process more enjoyable, and may even fuel your context essays if you're lucky enough to find relevant stuff. Acquire words whenever you can; maybe your teacher uses them in class, maybe you've got a weird friend who reads dictionaries too, or maybe you're just stumbling across new words throughout the day. The important thing is to keep a tally of the words you learn. The back of your english workbook is always good, or a stickynote on your computer desktop; something for you to refer back to, scroll through and add to as the year goes by. I've put some helpful pages at the start of this thread, and there's a great thread: New words - feel free to add :) that you can browse through/contribute to :)

Summers:
There's an L.A. guide attached to the first post in this thread, as well as some sample essays. Read those first and let me know if you have any concerns after.
The 'what how and why' you're referring to is a good place to start. To elaborate: WHAT is the technique/device (quote here). HOW could it be used to persuade certain readers, or given a certain context. WHY has the author chosen this technique/device/word/phrase/appeal etc. (link this to the overall contention).
Hope that makes more sense :)

zeiinaaa

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #249 on: May 08, 2014, 11:49:14 pm »
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Haha wow that's so smart! Thanks Lauren
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smile+energy

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #250 on: May 09, 2014, 12:51:31 pm »
0
THANKS SO MUCH, Lauren :).
I saw you have the rules for elaborating in LA. I have another question: are there any rules for text response in regards to elaborating? (for theme/character-based topic)
« Last Edit: May 09, 2014, 03:35:29 pm by smile+energy »
2014: English(EAL)   Methods   Biology   Health and human development   Accounting

literally lauren

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #251 on: May 09, 2014, 09:37:42 pm »
+4
The "rules" can be found here.
http://www.vcaa.vic.edu.au/Documents/exams/english/2009Eng-crit-descriptors-V2.pdf

Beyond that, this whole thread is just general tips that you can follow or ignore. Most of the answers I give here are tailored to certain people based on either their estimation of their own strengths or weaknesses, or by actually reading their work.

There are no "rules" for any of the tasks; even the 'what, how, why' for Language Analysis can fall apart sometimes. And obviously it's insufficient to just reuse that formula 20 times in an essay. I'd recommend going back and looking at what the task is asking you to do. If you understand that, you won't need guidelines.

Plus, the way you approach your essay kind of depends on the text. When I was doing Henry IV (Shakespeare) I knew there was a lot of historical weight and context to consider. Even something like 12 Angry Men is steeped in the attitudes (ie. racism, prejudice, 'red fever' etc.) of 1960's America. Most texts on the list have some sort of background info you can incorporate, but for some it's more important than others.

AND it'll depend on the prompt itself. Rarely do you get a clean-cut 'theme/character-based topic.' On the surface that might be what it's asking, but you usually need to consider the author's values or the reader's interpretations  as part of your discussion.

I suppose as an absolute last resort you could go for the TEEL structure (Topic sentence, Evidence, Explain/Elaborate, Link) but this is a pretty simplistic one and won't earn you a very high mark. It's good to keep in the back of your mind so that you know which direction you're heading, but it's hardly a rule. Most schools/teachers have their own variations on this anyway.

smile+energy

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #252 on: May 10, 2014, 03:32:20 pm »
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Thanks heaps, Lauren :D
2014: English(EAL)   Methods   Biology   Health and human development   Accounting

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #253 on: May 10, 2014, 03:52:05 pm »
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Hey Lauren, just wondering how much planning you did for essays under timed conditions? Every time I try to plan out my points briefly, I end up spending like 10 minutes on it, which is quite a bit in my opinion...did you outline your points for each paragraph in detail (e.g.: with the examples and stuff) or did you just write a point or 2 to plan each paragraph? Thanks so much!

Also, how do you manage to write so much in about an hour? I'm really having trouble with time management! :)

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Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
« Reply #254 on: May 10, 2014, 03:59:14 pm »
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Hi Lauren,

I downloaded the Language Analysis thing and it was good, but just a little confusing for me :(

The introduction is the easy part which is where you start off with COAST - pretty easy.

When the body paragraphs come in, I get really confused. My teacher says you choose a strategy such as appealing to unity or patriotism then move onto a how then why and I'm not sure I could talk about it much. For example, the author appeals to patriotism by saying ''...'' with the intended purpose to have its audience link arms and face the issue together, or something. Then after that I have no idea what to write, I usually just write a bunch of crap to fill in lines to not be embarrassed that I wrote 1 page in an hour.

Are you supposed to link a strategy such as Patriotism to a technique, then talk about how that technique has an impact about the audience (in a hypothetical, personal, subjective sense) and then talk about why they used it which I thought would be pretty closely related to the impact .. UHHHH. I'm sorry. I have a SAC at 7AM on Monday and I am so bad at Language Analysis and my teacher was useless! :( Not to mention I have no idea how you are meant to link a minimum of three pieces into one essay? :(((((