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January 29, 2022, 07:16:39 am

Author Topic: [English] Text response essay - Stasiland  (Read 2123 times)  Share 

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m_chellen

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[English] Text response essay - Stasiland
« on: October 05, 2013, 11:09:29 pm »
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Topic: Julia says to Anna "You have to look at how normal people manage with such things in their pasts". Stasiland explores how ordinary individuals cope with past trauma.
Hi everyone, i've just written an essay and would love some feedback on what i've done good/bad/can improve on. It was timed so i may have made some silly mistakes in the process of it all. The essays are attached, thanks so much :)
2012: Psychology
2013: English | Chemistry | Methods | Philosophy | Food tech
2014: Monash Uni BA
2015: Monash Uni LLB(Hons)/BA

saba.ay

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Re: [English] Text response essay - Stasiland
« Reply #1 on: October 05, 2013, 11:42:31 pm »
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Hey, just some comments:
-I don't know if I remember correctly or not, but Julia wanted to be an interpreter- not a teacher.
- Be wary of modal language - 'only a product of the horrors in her life'. We aren't Julia and so we can't assume this to be true. So 'to an extent, perhaps, etc' would be relevant words/phrases to include in here. :)
- With Koch, I think you could have gone further and looked at how he's 'dealing with his past'/ is he really dealing with his past? We see that he still longs her for him former life and he is still, to an extent, trying to recreate his past life through his 'Wall archive'.
-There's very little analysis of metalanguage and how Funder created the text, positioned readers, etc. Our teacher has said that each paragraph should have at least 2 references to metalanguage or text construction in some way, shape or form. So try including that.

Also try and mention the form of the text- easy marks, I guess? :)

Other than that, nice essay. :D I don't know how to comment on expression, etc so I just looked at the ideas mainly. :P
& good luck :D

m_chellen

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Re: [English] Text response essay - Stasiland
« Reply #2 on: October 05, 2013, 11:59:51 pm »
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Wow thanks  :) This was really helpful. I totally missed the whole metalanguage thing in the essay but i'll take mental note of it from here on in, thank you again!! :)
2012: Psychology
2013: English | Chemistry | Methods | Philosophy | Food tech
2014: Monash Uni BA
2015: Monash Uni LLB(Hons)/BA