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September 20, 2019, 04:48:39 am

Author Topic: FAILURE OH MY GOD  (Read 1581 times)

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coldairballoon

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Re: FAILURE OH MY GOD
« Reply #15 on: April 21, 2019, 01:27:26 pm »
+4
OKAY. AFTER MORE THAN 3 WEEKS OF GRIEF, AND TWO HOURS AT THIS DESK, I HAVE FINALLY SMASHED OUT MY INTRODUCTION. TIS BUT A MEASLY HUMBLE PARAGRAPH OF TEXT, BUT TWILL DO FOR THE TIME BEING. THE BALL HAS STARTED TO ROLL. TIME TO KEEP PUSHING.

YEEEEEEEE
Be the wise Englishman who sat on the bread and was on a roll.

Evolio

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Re: FAILURE OH MY GOD
« Reply #16 on: April 21, 2019, 01:30:14 pm »
+2
You got this Ashley!
You can do it!
I believe in you!
Punch out the rest of the essay!
2019: Biology, Mathematical Methods
2020: Literature, Psychology, Specialist Mathematics, Chemistry

Bri MT

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Re: FAILURE OH MY GOD
« Reply #17 on: April 24, 2019, 02:44:54 pm »
+1
Just looking around at everyone else's journals...they're all so neat and set up so well. I need to do some editing  ;D

I love that different journals have their own unique style & layout; it helps me see the personalities of the writers. Did any in particular stand out to you? 
2018-2021: Science Advanced - Global Challenges (Honours) @ Monash

Leadership  ; Scientific Methodology ; Wanting to stay productive?

coldairballoon

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Re: FAILURE OH MY GOD
« Reply #18 on: April 27, 2019, 08:13:08 pm »
+2
Long post ahead:

It's been a while since an actual update - I tried to start term 2 nicely. But instead of hitting the ground running, it was more like being Hulk-smashed or body-slammed onto the pavement and dragged along the footpath...the moment I got back I realised just how busy this term would be - there's only 5 weeks to learn everything, a week of revision, then exams and the GAT (?!?!?!?!?! I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD BE DOING PREPARATION FOR THIS BUT AT THE SAME TIME I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT IS???). Not to mention a bunch of SACs. Fun. Nevertheless I'm forcing myself to be optimistic and aim for my best - I promised myself that I'm not going to muck around and flop things like I did in term 1, and damn right I'm going to do my best to keep that promise.

... but next week is ABSOLUTELY HECTIC and it is making me TENSE. I have a Latin test, a specialist maths test, and I'm missing the first part of my bio sac because I'm spending a day at Melbourne High School for Model United Nations (which I still need to prepare for). I also need to go to Swinburne Uni to interview a student for the Early Leader's Program but before that I need to START doing all the reading (a whole something-teen page academic journal article with obscure and overly-formal jargon that I absolutely do not understand, as well as some other reading) and actually write the questions that I want to ask my interviewee about. After I get home from that I need to revise like mad to actually finish off my BIO SAC THAT I'M VERY CONCERNED ABOUT (don't wanna flop like last time) the next day. Also next week I start the first component of my first Methods sac (it's a take-home one). Which makes me ANXIOUSTM, because firstly it's the biggest sac out of the three that we have this year (who decided to make the first one the most important one?? whack) and because Methods is the 3/4 that I actually have some faith in, so it'd be really crushing if I did badly in it.

So far I've spent the day trying to be productive but instead just sitting on my bed and scrolling on my phone. I feel guilty and annoyed about it, because I had a really good day yesterday and I wanted to keep that rhythm, but noooooooooooo. Thanks brain. I have to leave the house tomorrow though, so I'll be forced to actually get up, get changed and use my brain to understand whatever my tutor's saying, so hopefully that will help. I'm going to do some exercise too, because science tells me that it'll improve emotional well-being, increase alertness during the day, and stimulate cell growth in the learning-part-of-the-brain (Unknown Author, 2019). Unsure about that last one but the first two are definitely true. Here's to hoping for a good Sunday.

Hey CAB! Bit late joining this bandwagon. Been reading a few of your posts...so year 10? I meet a fellow buddy! Me too!
cant find motivation and stresses way too much....ME TOO!

Can't wait to read more of your posts and updates.. I am relatively new and still getting my bearings as well if that  makes you feel better!

Tootles! - Lex

I AM SO SORRY THAT THIS REPLY IS SO LATE. I don't know how but my stupid eyes and brain somehow missed it. I've read your journal too! I'm actually in year 11, but we can still be stress buddies together  ;D keep up the good work!

You got this Ashley!
You can do it!
I believe in you!
Punch out the rest of the essay!


Thank you so much!! Your reply really boosted my energy (even though I forget to get back to it asap, haha). I finally submitted it, by the way - could've proofread it a bit more, but I just wanted it to get it done with. And I feel so LIBERATED now. Chemistry can't ruin me yet.

I love that different journals have their own unique style & layout; it helps me see the personalities of the writers. Did any in particular stand out to you? 

I wouldn't say I had a favourite style, but I definitely enjoy the ones that have a little more humour in them, and also the ones that put in that little extra bit of effort and do a bit of editing/formatting! Compared to the mess that is mine, theirs are quite nice to read. Still trying to figure out how to make those spoiler bar things, so my posts can look a bit more funky and a lot less clunky (unintentional rhyming, hehe).
« Last Edit: April 28, 2019, 09:51:42 pm by coldairballoon »
Be the wise Englishman who sat on the bread and was on a roll.

coldairballoon

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Re: FAILURE OH MY GOD
« Reply #19 on: April 28, 2019, 10:13:25 pm »
+2
A moment of silence please, so we can all appreciate the absolutely legendary art that is beautifully packaged in a little bundle called Latin.
Have I said before that I love Latin??? Because I do. Everything just slots together perfectly and UGH every time I learn new stuff about it...bruhs the amount of joy that I feel is enough to leave me giddy for a long time after. And as always, I'm obligated to mention my favourite Latin word, vendidi.

~ v e n d i d i ~

JUST LOOK HOW PERFECT IT IS. vendidi. (pronounced 'when diddy'). ven. didi. v e n d i d i. V. E. N. D. I. D. I. What a beaut. (It means 'I sold', btw. But that's irrelevant, just look at how lovely the physical appearance and esence of the verbum is). Even though I can only stick to Duolingo language learning for less than a week at a time (unfortunately, Japanese, Russian, French, Korean, Spanish and German aren't my thing), Latin never lets me down. If I manage to get into Melbourne Uni I feel like I would definitely continue Latin as an elective (breadth?) subject there. I just...wow. Latin.

At this point you've probably figured out that yes, I am (meant to be) doing Latin homework. The voice in the back of my head is telling me there's so much more important stuff that I should be focusing on, but how dare anybody tell me to depart with my one and only joy?? (Just kidding, but let me tell you, there is NOTHING more satisfying than writing down a bunch of noun paradigms and word tables and just sitting back and looking at the ELEGANCE of the language. NOTHING.). Some other things on my list to do before I sleep are:
- Spec maths exercises (it's fairly easy, and I'm only doing a few questions from one chapter)
- Methods hw. Just 2 pages of a booklet. Shouldn't be too hard.
- Reading for the Swinburne Early Leaders' thing. (I've finally started it!! The fancy academic language is hella intimidating, but I'm bulldozing through it and so far it's been okay; hopefully I can finish it before the interview on Thursday)
- Some bio until I get tired enough to fall asleep.

I'm starting to get productive!! I'm not too concerned about going to bed late tonight, because I'm trying to exhaust myself so I can fall asleep easier tomorrow so that I can get enough sleep for Tuesday's Latin test. Not the greatest thing to do, but eh.

Something that made me happy today: I won a Kahoot. Bow down to me.
Be the wise Englishman who sat on the bread and was on a roll.

coldairballoon

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Re: FAILURE OH MY GOD
« Reply #20 on: April 29, 2019, 09:30:05 am »
+1
I wrote/ranted this last night (or this morning?) but it didn't post for some reason. Congratulations, me! This is your second major meltdown in Year 11 (my future self probably won't even remember what happened):



Ok so bit of a change of plans and mood, in comparison to my previous post.

I've been a bit mentally on-edge for the past few days so I knew it wouldn't be long till something burst my little happy bubble. Won't say what, just to save the unnecessary details, but it is sufficient to say that someone barged into my room, messed it up, and caused my mood to take a dive deeper than the Mariana Trench. It was only a small thing but it set loose this pile of emotions I had been holding back for a while now. And so now I feel like an annoying angsty teen. I am an annoying angsty teen. Pretty pathetic huh.

I can't bring myself to finish the work I wanted to do tonight. Right now the only thing that's really going through my head is just a mixture of irritation, emptiness and wow this is really not helping anything at all and I just wanted to tuck myself into bed and sleep, but I need to finish at least some of this work that's already been piling up and procrastinated about for weeks. I'm so exhausted, and there's too much going on outside of my mental health for this right now - I just wish this little meltdown could've happened at a better time. I have assessments in almost all of my subjects this week, I'm missing half of a sac to do two other huge events that I haven't prepared for either, and I've got too much going on. And just when I'm getting my motivation and momentum back, this crisis just makes everything worse. Took half a step forward, and was dragged a few hundred meters back. And know I don't know what I'm supposed to do??

Just realised it's Monday now. What a good way to start this week.
Be the wise Englishman who sat on the bread and was on a roll.

coldairballoon

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Re: FAILURE OH MY GOD
« Reply #21 on: May 09, 2019, 11:58:26 pm »
+2
It's been a while!

So,,,needless to say my mood is definitely a lot better than whatever shitstorm that last update was. I'm feeling better, but just so FRUSTRATED. I did my Latin test. Did my spec test. Went to MHS for MUN. Went to Swinburne. Realised that actually, my methods sac wasn't actually last week, but the VCE office just didn't bother telling anyone about the change of dates ( ::)) So I stressed about that for nothing. Then I spent the whole weekend preparing for my bio sac, which I was SO DAMN DETERMINED not to stuff up this time.

.....................and yeah I stuffed it up. What makes me so angry at myself about it is that I know I could've done so much better as well - during reading time I knew there wasn't a single question that I would have trouble with, but somehow during the actual write up I lost track of time and spent too long on trivial things such as plotting a stupid GRAPH and I couldn't finish it. I missed a substantial amount of questions, and my score is definitely going to be worse than last time. I've been trying to be a bit optimistic about it (it's only a small chunk of my SS overall), but yeaaaaaaaaaaa no. I don't even know how I'm going to face my bio tutor tomorrow, when we were both pretty confident that I'd do better this time round. I'm just so hhhhhhhhhhhhh???? And we went to GTAC today as well, and my oh-so-wonderful teacher tells us that the work we do there is also part of our next sac (FOR WHAT REASON?!?! LET AN EXCURSION BE AN EXCURSION).

Not to mention I'm agonising over my lack of prioritisation still. I got my Latin and Spec tests back a few days ago and boom. 97.5% and 93.75% respectively. I'm proud, but that same pride also makes me a bit frustrated and bitter. Top of the cohort in both, yet I probably can't even get a 70% in a subject that actually matters to me this year??? I can't deal.

I get the first component of my first methods sac tomorrow. I've got 5 days to do it, then immediately after I hand it in I get the second component, which I have a week to do, and right after that there's the actual 'test' component of it. It's going to be so exhausting and stressful, not to mention my next bio sac is on the same day as that methods test as well. And then semester 1 exams for my 1/2 subjects.

I genuinely admire some people so much. How do people who do even more extracurriculars than me even manage to cope with all this stuff, as well as regularly exercise, have a social life, turn up to class on time, and look alive??? Mad respect.

Will try to update in the next few weeks, but no guarantees (my future self is going to be like 'this timeline is full of holes and patchy af'). I'm just going to try and stumble/bash my way through and hope I make it to the other side with a nice A+. For now though, I gotta get enough sleep so I can actually drag myself to aths tomorrow (haven't gone in almost 2 weeks, yikes).
« Last Edit: May 10, 2019, 12:00:05 am by coldairballoon »
Be the wise Englishman who sat on the bread and was on a roll.

Macrophagee

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Re: FAILURE OH MY GOD
« Reply #22 on: May 10, 2019, 06:19:47 pm »
0
I genuinely admire some people so much. How do people who do even more extracurriculars than me even manage to cope with all this stuff, as well as regularly exercise, have a social life, turn up to class on time, and look alive??? Mad respect.

OMG that's so true! They are probably not human  ;D
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Year 12: English, Chemistry, Methods,  Spesh, Health and Human Development

coldairballoon

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Re: FAILURE OH MY GOD
« Reply #23 on: May 12, 2019, 09:22:55 pm »
+1
I'm writing this in an attempt to force myself to actually start studying. I figured that as soon as I verbally express how much I have to do, I'll feel more panicked and more likely to actually do it.

I got the first part of my first methods sac! The context of it's quite amusing because they all involve our maths teachers trying to build something. For some reason, though, it's suspiciously easy?? Of course that made me paranoid and so I decided that I'm going to redo the questions on another sheet of paper without looking at what I've already done to make sure I get the same thing.

Also: do you think I should rewrite it in pen? That what's 'recommended', but I'm scared I'll make a mistake (and it's only 'recommended'). And what about comparing my answers with other people in the class? I want to make sure I'm getting the same answers as them, but at the same time I don't want to help them out too much if we get different answers (that already happened twice when I did that on Friday, so-).

Things I'm trying to get done by tonight/tomorrow night:
- Finish Methods sac
- Prepare for pt.2 of the methods sac
- Translate set lines from Metamorpheses
- First set of exercises for Spec
- Start bio practice questions/tests
And maybe some chem if I can fit it in. My teacher's threatening to call my parents if I don't turn in my booklets, but I'll try to duck under the radar for as long as I can.

OMG that's so true! They are probably not human  ;D

Definitely  ;D we plebs can only hope to compete with them.

Well, off I go to do some work, then.

(Also I made a really good boiled egg today. As in, like, really good. I've never tasted a boiled egg that scrumptious in my entire life. My mum hated it, but 'twas splendid.)
« Last Edit: May 12, 2019, 09:27:28 pm by coldairballoon »
Be the wise Englishman who sat on the bread and was on a roll.

Joseph41

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Re: FAILURE OH MY GOD
« Reply #24 on: May 13, 2019, 04:37:04 pm »
0
Re: pencil/pen, why not ask your teacher if it's required? I always preferred pencil for maths work, but don't see the harm in asking. :)
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coldairballoon

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Re: FAILURE OH MY GOD
« Reply #25 on: May 18, 2019, 06:16:54 pm »
+1
WAIT IT FINALLY JUST HIT ME THAT MY BIO SAC AND METHODS SAC ARE ON THE SAME DAY HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHH WHAT.

(Also I got my previous bio sac back yesterday as well...77%. Bruh I can smell that sweet, sweet, raw 20 SS already.)

BUT THEY'RE ON THE SAME DAY?? AND NOW I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MANAGE MY TIME. And my English test is also the day before and I don't know any of the content and wow. Just no. Did I mention both my Latin AND chem teacher are threatening to call my parents because I'm only doing the classwork and not the homework?? And that for some reason my inner circle seems to be insistent on dragging me out to have fun when I can't? feeling a bit overwhelmed but. Life goes on.

Oh, and by the way - have I mentioned that MY BIO AND METHODS SAC ARE ON THE SAME DAY AND I AM WHOLLY UNPREPARED FOR BOTH OF THEM.
« Last Edit: May 19, 2019, 10:39:44 pm by coldairballoon »
Be the wise Englishman who sat on the bread and was on a roll.

Ionic Doc

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Re: FAILURE OH MY GOD
« Reply #26 on: May 18, 2019, 06:26:40 pm »
0
BUT THEY'RE ON THE SAME DAY?? AND NOW I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MANAGE MY TIME. And my English test is also the day before and I don't know any of the content and wow. Just no.

I LIKE TYPING IN CAPS  8)

Prioritise METHODS and BIOLOGY, English can wait . . . you're still in year 11 so won't really go towards anything

and surely you know the content . . . or maybe u don't (lol)
my suggestion: LEARN IT

GOOD LUCK
class of 2020
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NomotivationF

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Re: FAILURE OH MY GOD
« Reply #27 on: May 18, 2019, 06:54:58 pm »
+1
I LIKE TYPING IN CAPS  8)

Prioritise METHODS and BIOLOGY, English can wait . . . you're still in year 11 so won't really go towards anything

and surely you know the content . . . or maybe u don't (lol)
my suggestion: LEARN IT

GOOD LUCK


I mean english caaaan wait, but you should still try to put effort into it. But for sure prioritise 3/4s
My journey through VCE

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coldairballoon

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Re: FAILURE OH MY GOD
« Reply #28 on: May 19, 2019, 10:49:37 pm »
0
I got the first part of my first methods sac! The context of it's quite amusing because they all involve our maths teachers trying to build something. For some reason, though, it's suspiciously easy??

Wise words, past me. You were right after all. I've gotten the 2nd part of the sac now, and let me tell you it is STUPID. RIDICULOUSLY HARD. And it's even harder to write down my explanations to the answers (imagine if you could just write 'BECAUSE I KNOW IT WORKS OK I KNOW I'M RIGHT' as an answer. My life would be so much easier). But I'm almost done so as long as I barrel through it and check my answers with someone else I should be okay. I guess?? I don't want to fail this sac and fail all of methods and fail the end of year exam and get a shitty SS and disappoint both myself and my parents and become an outcast to the family and not end up going to uni and getting a good job and becoming even more of an outcast and-
HUUUH LET ME STOP THERE. I can't be having negative thoughts now.

Also I did a practice test for bio. And, well. Just....well. Well, well, well. (It was not well.) And the little voice in the back of my head is nagging me to reply to a Very ImportantTM email that I've been ignoring for almost two weeks at this point. And I still need to make my quote sheet for the Lang test on Tuesday. And translate 20 more lines of Metamorpheses, and finish another translation exercise for Latin. And I need to update my question bank for Methods because the test component of the sac is on Wednesday. And I need to start actually doing some damn work.
Be the wise Englishman who sat on the bread and was on a roll.