ATAR Notes: Forum

VCE Stuff => VCE English Studies => VCE Subjects + Help => VCE English Language => Topic started by: charmanderp on November 12, 2012, 08:38:26 pm

Title: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: charmanderp on November 12, 2012, 08:38:26 pm
Might collate all of your essays in here, if you want them to get feedback. Just to make things easier and neater.

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Title: Re: English Language submission and marking
Post by: pi on November 12, 2012, 09:12:12 pm
English work submission and marking

This is a place for all English, ESL, English Language and Literature students to post their work for comment and criticism.

:P
Title: Re: English Language submission and marking
Post by: charmanderp on November 12, 2012, 09:26:41 pm
They never get used for Lit or Eng Lang though :P Like I've literally never seen anything in there, possibly because people feel out of place or because they know no one goes there with the intention to look at Lit or Eng Lang pieces.
Title: Re: English Language submission and marking
Post by: pi on November 12, 2012, 11:41:59 pm
That may be true, but I don't think having a single thread is the best way to go about it, it'd be pretty sloppy if it gets popular :P
Title: Re: English Language submission and marking
Post by: VivaTequila on November 22, 2012, 04:26:05 pm
So? Subforums?

Just going to throw in that the Literature subforum hardly gets used, so one could make the argument that a subforum dedicated to Literature marking wouldn't be worth it. But I'm also going to throw in that we can't expect people to engage with forums if the resources necessary to facilitate the discussion aren't provided - set up the subforum, and people might begin to use it if the Literature section takes off.
Title: Eng Lang Essay: "Standard English is an oxymoron". Feedback Please!
Post by: psyxwar on September 04, 2013, 11:16:05 pm
Hey so, I've had very little practice this year writing essays so I'm really rusty haha. Any constructive criticism is appreciated.

Topic: "Standard English" is an oxymoron. Discuss.

Spoiler
The very definition of Standard English is murky. As the author of The Oxford Companion to the English Language Tom McArthur puts it: "this widely used term... resists easy definition, but is used as if most educated people nonetheless know precisely what it refers to". Some see it as referring to 'good' or 'correct' English usage, others see it as the most formal and prestigious dialect of English; there is no real consensus amongst linguists. One would think that "Standard English" would refer to a linguistic standard with respect to elements like vocabulary and grammar. The simple fact that this is not the case suggests the very idea of having a standard English is impossible; after all, how can what which is not static be standardised?

English, like all languages enjoying widespread use today,  is dynamic as a consequence of social and cultural change amongst its speakers. Its lexicon in particular has words added and removed at an astounding rate. Words that historically saw use with only a small group of people may receive recognition by the general public due to societal change. An example would be the influx of words brought into the mainstream lexicon by technological advances in recent years; the word e-mail (short for electronic mail) was once used only by the few with access to the Internet, but as Internet usage became more widespread the term gained traction. This highlights not only the dynamic nature of the English lexicon as a whole, but also the fact that it varies between individuals -- what one individual recognises as part of English may not be recognised by another. The phenomena of loan words further illustrates the dynamic nature of the English lexicon.  As England colonised the new world, they discovered new objects for which there was not an equivalent term in English -- so, for the sake of convenience, they adopted foreign terms (eg. coffee).

The semantic meaning of pre-existing words is also in a constant state of change. Narrowing refers to a reduction in the contexts in which a word can appear; that is, its meaning becomes more specific. This happens commonly when a word has associations with taboo, be it through euphemism or due to an application of its original meaning to a taboo context. For example, 'seduce' once meant to lead astray but has since narrowed to a purely sexual sense. Words may also experience complete changes in meaning (semantic shift) -- as with 'gay', which has changed from meaning joyous to homosexual -- or more subtle changes in connotation. The vocabulary of the English language as a whole is never static and thus any attempt to create a standard in this regard is futile; the very nature of language makes this impossible.

 The idea of a standard English becomes even more ridiculous when we consider its many individual dialects. Although the syntax of written English is relatively homogenous (generally following the subject-verb-object sentence structure), this is not necessarily the case with spoken English. For example, "you what, mate?" -- a colloquialism used by speakers in the United Kingdom that means "what did you say" -- does not conform to written English syntax. The different dialects each have their own unique nuances. The English spoken by 'bogans' -- a term unique to Australian English referring to individuals of an unsophisticated background -- differs markedly from the English that would be used in a formal business setting. They would be an obvious difference in regards to lexicon, pronunciation and perhaps even syntax. Profanity may have very different connotations depending on the speaker - the term 'c*nt' has become one of endearment amongst 'bogans', but in a business context would be seen as offensive and completely inappropriate.

A potential counterargument is that the language spoken in a formal setting should be the default simply because it is more refined than alternatives. The truth is that even if we were to pretend that the dialects of English exist in a dichotomy of "formal" and "informal", the idea of championing one variety over another is an undesirable one. Linguistic prescriptivism stunts creativity and prevents the creative use of language. Furthermore, it is not logical to make a dialect 'standard' simply because it is perceived as being the most formal; that is not the purpose of a standard.

"Standard English" is an oxymoron. Its heterogeneous nature means that no two dialects are the same, and that every dialect has its own distinct nuances and grammatical and lexical patterns. Furthermore, change in English as a collective is inevitable, be it in regards to its lexicon or the meanings of individual words. It is simply not possible to prescribe a standard to a language that is so diverse and dynamic.
Title: Re: Eng Lang Essay: "Standard English is an oxymoron". Feedback Please!
Post by: lzxnl on September 05, 2013, 12:31:59 am
The most blaring thing that sticks out at me is the depth. Each of your paragraphs is tiny, especially the bit on formal language.
I would argue that in a formal environment, a standard of English is necessary to signify the seriousness of the occasion. It would generally be socially inappropriate to use non-Standard English in a formal situation. You're not seeing that aspect of formal language.

With Standard English, NEVER, EVER mention pronunciation. Standard English does not depend on pronunciation; it can be spoken with any accent.

Also, I personally don't like finishing the introduction with a rhetorical question. You are meant to state a contention, not ask the reader to work it out.

Now for the detail. I think your first body paragraph could have went into more detail about "cultural change". You didn't really discuss that in much detail.

As for semantics, sometimes words suddenly gain meanings, like the word "set" with its incredible number of meanings. Consider that too.

Dialects, however, don't address why we can't have a Standard English. Why can they not coexist with Standard English? People often code-switch depending on who they are with. Aborigines who are educated in Standard English may use Standard English when speaking to regular Australians and Aboriginal English when speaking to Aboriginals. It is a form of signalling social identity. Dialects do not necessarily demonstrate why a "Standard English" makes no sense. At least, you haven't convinced me in your paragraph.

And I wouldn't say "dialects of English" existing on a dichotomy. For starters, they're not really "dialects" of English. They're registers. Also, it's not a dichotomy, more of a spectrum. You can have very formal, like a coronation ceremony; moderately formal, like in parliament; casual, like when speaking to a teacher; and intimate, which is a no-brainer.

Just a few of what occurred to me. I hope I'm not sounding overly harsh or something xD

Title: Re: Eng Lang Essay: "Standard English is an oxymoron". Feedback Please!
Post by: psyxwar on September 05, 2013, 09:29:48 am
The most blaring thing that sticks out at me is the depth. Each of your paragraphs is tiny, especially the bit on formal language.
Fair enough, this was an in class essay though and the word limit was something like 700-800 words
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I would argue that in a formal environment, a standard of English is necessary to signify the seriousness of the occasion. It would generally be socially inappropriate to use non-Standard English in a formal situation. You're not seeing that aspect of formal language. With Standard English, NEVER, EVER mention pronunciation. Standard English does not depend on pronunciation; it can be spoken with any accent.
Hmm, don't think my contention was clear enough then. I'm not so much arguing that a standard is nt necessary, rather that it is impossible to really assign a true standard in these regards. I'm arguing that "standard english" as a phrase is oxymoronic because its not possible to assign a standard in all these respects and not so much that the current "Standard English" is not able to serve as a standard with respect to say, pronounciation (I hope this makes sense)

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Also, I personally don't like finishing the introduction with a rhetorical question. You are meant to state a contention, not ask the reader to work it out.
Good point.

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Now for the detail. I think your first body paragraph could have went into more detail about "cultural change". You didn't really discuss that in much detail.

As for semantics, sometimes words suddenly gain meanings, like the word "set" with its incredible number of meanings. Consider that too.
Yeah I actually had a lot more points I wanted to write in but didn't really have the time. Is it fine for paragraphs to just become a huge block consistent of mainly examples? Trying to fit too much in makes it seem really hard to read coherently.

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Dialects, however, don't address why we can't have a Standard English. Why can they not coexist with Standard English? People often code-switch depending on who they are with. Aborigines who are educated in Standard English may use Standard English when speaking to regular Australians and Aboriginal English when speaking to Aboriginals. It is a form of signalling social identity. Dialects do not necessarily demonstrate why a "Standard English" makes no sense. At least, you haven't convinced me in your paragraph.
Perhaps, but on what basis should a language even be assigned the title of a standard? I'm (trying) to contest the notion that the current Standard English is even a standard; I'm not arguing that its bad to have a standard, more so that with so much variation just how is a standard chosen, if not for the sake of its ability to serve as a linguistic standard? We might have a standard english, but its not truly a standard if its assigned this purely due to its formality.

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And I wouldn't say "dialects of English" existing on a dichotomy. For starters, they're not really "dialects" of English. They're registers. Also, it's not a dichotomy, more of a spectrum. You can have very formal, like a coronation ceremony; moderately formal, like in parliament; casual, like when speaking to a teacher; and intimate, which is a no-brainer.
Oh, think you misread it. I'm saying they don't, and even if we were to pretend that this was the case, the idea of championing one idea over another is a bad one.


Quote
Just a few of what occurred to me. I hope I'm not sounding overly harsh or something xD
THANKS! Really appreciate it man. Nah, it's far better for people to actually look at it critically than to simply go "oh GJ man!" like my teacher does...

Also Vish says hi.

(He's the guy next to me in class right now, I don't think you know him... He just wanted to say hi.)

Edit: what's the distinction between dialect and register? Isn't register a measure of formality?
Title: Re: Eng Lang Essay: "Standard English is an oxymoron". Feedback Please!
Post by: lzxnl on September 05, 2013, 06:25:52 pm
Fair enough, this was an in class essay though and the word limit was something like 700-800 wordsHmm, don't think my contention was clear enough then. I'm not so much arguing that a standard is nt necessary, rather that it is impossible to really assign a true standard in these regards. I'm arguing that "standard english" as a phrase is oxymoronic because its not possible to assign a standard in all these respects and not so much that the current "Standard English" is not able to serve as a standard with respect to say, pronounciation (I hope this makes sense)
Good point.
Yeah I actually had a lot more points I wanted to write in but didn't really have the time. Is it fine for paragraphs to just become a huge block consistent of mainly examples? Trying to fit too much in makes it seem really hard to read coherently.
Perhaps, but on what basis should a language even be assigned the title of a standard? I'm (trying) to contest the notion that the current Standard English is even a standard; I'm not arguing that its bad to have a standard, more so that with so much variation just how is a standard chosen, if not for the sake of its ability to serve as a linguistic standard? We might have a standard english, but its not truly a standard if its assigned this purely due to its formality.
Oh, think you misread it. I'm saying they don't, and even if we were to pretend that this was the case, the idea of championing one idea over another is a bad one.

THANKS! Really appreciate it man. Nah, it's far better for people to actually look at it critically than to simply go "oh GJ man!" like my teacher does...

Also Vish says hi.

(He's the guy next to me in class right now, I don't think you know him... He just wanted to say hi.)

Edit: what's the distinction between dialect and register? Isn't register a measure of formality?

By definition, Standard English is not meant to serve as a standard for pronunciation. You have stuff like Received Pronunciation for that.
If you want to argue down the pronunciation path, that's fine.
Paragraphs aren't meant to be a massive block of examples, but they should at least contain lots of relevant examples with commentary.

You are saying that it is ridiculous to have a standard. Directly quoted from your essay. Just because there is variation, doesn't mean we cannot have a standard. Standard English, as it is, confers overt prestige onto its speakers as it demonstrates education. Other forms of English, while not "standard", have an equally important role in society. I still think that's a problem with your essay. In my mind at least, Standard English has a purpose to enable communication between all English speakers, regardless of geographical origin. But in some cases, we don't need to let everyone understand what we're saying. In those cases, the "standard" form of English isn't necessary. It's like saying that Standard English is a rule, and just because people don't follow the rule, it's absurd.

A dialect is characteristic to a particular social group or geographical region, generally used to denote the latter. A register, on the other hand, is a variety of language used to suit a particular social setting. For instance, you can have formal registers, informal registers, technical registers etc.

Yes, I know you weren't trying to classify language as a dichotomy, but analysing that is sort of irrelevant. Language does not exist as a dichotomy, so why assume it does?

And yeah, I don't know this Vish guy :P
Title: Re: Eng Lang Essay: "Standard English is an oxymoron". Feedback Please!
Post by: psyxwar on September 05, 2013, 07:08:47 pm
By definition, Standard English is not meant to serve as a standard for pronunciation. You have stuff like Received Pronunciation for that.
True, but I'm not talking about the definition of Standard English, rather what it *should* refer to if we were to define it based on its constiutents "standard" and "English". I'm not sure if this is a logical thing to do, but given the topic was about the phrase itself being oxymoronic I thought it was appropriate. I didn't really talk about pronounciation anyway, so meh, leaving it out wouldn't have made much difference.

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Paragraphs aren't meant to be a massive block of examples, but they should at least contain lots of relevant examples with commentary.
I see. Fair enough, thanks.

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Just because there is variation, doesn't mean we cannot have a standard.
True. Very true. Yeah that paragraph seems pretty bad in hindsight.

Quote
Standard English, as it is, confers overt prestige onto its speakers as it demonstrates education. Other forms of English, while not "standard", have an equally important role in society. I still think that's a problem with your essay. In my mind at least, Standard English has a purpose to enable communication between all English speakers, regardless of geographical origin. But in some cases, we don't need to let everyone understand what we're saying. In those cases, the "standard" form of English isn't necessary. It's like saying that Standard English is a rule, and just because people don't follow the rule, it's absurd.

But again, on what basis is Standard English conferred the title of standard? I understand that Standard English might be useful, but it seems rather arbitrary to assign it the title of standard simple because it is seen as the most formal. If there are so many different versions of the English language then why is one in particular considered standard? I mean, it's not like it is the only version that would be widely understood. I'd think that many would be mutually intelligible for most part - they are still the same language after all, and a varied lexicon or syntax doesn't change this. Sure, there might be some words that are unintelligible, but the same is true with Standard English (eg. words like "trigonometry" may be completely alien to people who haven't done math). Communication between different groups is really possible with any dialect (register?), though subtle differences in meaning may exist/ overtones may be lost (eg. see: "lad")

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A dialect is characteristic to a particular social group or geographical region, generally used to denote the latter. A register, on the other hand, is a variety of language used to suit a particular social setting. For instance, you can have formal registers, informal registers, technical registers etc.
Thanks.

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Yes, I know you weren't trying to classify language as a dichotomy, but analysing that is sort of irrelevant. Language does not exist as a dichotomy, so why assume it does?
I meant it more in a "the formality of language isn't black and white, so you can't say "oh SE is formal, lets make it the standard!" and even if it was, it's still not desirable due to x,y,z"
Title: Re: Eng Lang Essay: "Standard English is an oxymoron". Feedback Please!
Post by: lzxnl on September 05, 2013, 08:10:45 pm
But again, on what basis is Standard English conferred the title of standard? I understand that Standard English might be useful, but it seems rather arbitrary to assign it the title of standard simple because it is seen as the most formal. If there are so many different versions of the English language then why is one in particular considered standard? I mean, it's not like it is the only version that would be widely understood. I'd think that many would be mutually intelligible for most part - they are still the same language after all, and a varied lexicon or syntax doesn't change this. Sure, there might be some words that are unintelligible, but the same is true with Standard English (eg. words like "trigonometry" may be completely alien to people who haven't done math). Communication between different groups is really possible with any dialect (register?), though subtle differences in meaning may exist/ overtones may be lost (eg. see: "lad")

It's seen as standard because Standard English is the standard of English used in education, government and pretty much all formal settings. Its usage makes the speaker look educated.
It IS the one version that would be most widely understood. Slang is ephemeral and VERY region-specific, while colloquialisms are also rather region-specific. Standard English is the main form of English that is taught to native and non-native speakers of English.
You're speaking of jargon here. The ability of jargon to be alien to some people is one of its purposes in creating group identity.

And I dispute the dialect bit. In Chinese, for instance, a person speaking Cantonese cannot communicate orally with a person who only understands Mandarin. Likewise in English, different regional dialects may contain completely foreign words and pronunciation to hinder communication.

If you meant registers though, yes, communication is generally possible in an informal register; however, society needs formal registers for face needs, to maintain social distance, to maintain an air of credibility and authority as well as to signify the seriousness and formality of the occasion.
Title: Re: Eng Lang Essay: "Standard English is an oxymoron". Feedback Please!
Post by: LazyZombie on September 06, 2013, 09:24:28 pm
It's seen as standard because Standard English is the standard of English used in education, government and pretty much all formal settings. Its usage makes the speaker look educated.

And I dispute the dialect bit. In Chinese, for instance, a person speaking Cantonese cannot communicate orally with a person who only understands Mandarin. Likewise in English, different regional dialects may contain completely foreign words and pronunciation to hinder communication.


I think its debatable as to whether or not cantonese is a whole language itself though.
Title: Re: Eng Lang Essay: "Standard English is an oxymoron". Feedback Please!
Post by: lzxnl on September 06, 2013, 09:35:59 pm
Well, it has the same orthography as Mandarin Chinese (before the movement to simplify characters), while syntactic and lexical variations are not too major. The major difference is the pronunciation, but that does not let it qualify as a separate language in my mind.
Title: Re: Eng Lang Essay: "Standard English is an oxymoron". Feedback Please!
Post by: LazyZombie on September 06, 2013, 10:25:10 pm
Well, it has the same orthography as Mandarin Chinese (before the movement to simplify characters), while syntactic and lexical variations are not too major. The major difference is the pronunciation, but that does not let it qualify as a separate language in my mind.
I'm aware of the differences - It is debatable. My opinion is just that Cantonese being unintelligible to people who speak mandarin exclusively isn't something to undermine psyxwar's argument.
If you applied for a job and could speak them both, you'd list them separately. To me, the fact that people who speak mandarin can't understand it is an argument for it being a separate language. And I did know some people who spoke mandarin only but spent a lot of time at a cantonese church and picked it up fairly quickly.

If cantonese is a dialect, does that mean jamaican patois and singlish are dialects? An actual question, not an argument.
Title: Re: Eng Lang Essay: "Standard English is an oxymoron". Feedback Please!
Post by: lzxnl on September 06, 2013, 11:04:00 pm
I'm aware of the differences - It is debatable. My opinion is just that Cantonese being unintelligible to people who speak mandarin exclusively isn't something to undermine psyxwar's argument.
If you applied for a job and could speak them both, you'd list them separately. To me, the fact that people who speak mandarin can't understand it is an argument for it being a separate language. And I did know some people who spoke mandarin only but spent a lot of time at a cantonese church and picked it up fairly quickly.

If cantonese is a dialect, does that mean jamaican patois and singlish are dialects? An actual question, not an argument.

psyxwar stated earlier that communication should be possible in any dialect and I brought up Cantonese in response to that.
Let's just agree to disagree on this one. Cantonese is still a dialect of Chinese and I don't see that changing too soon.
Title: Re: English Language submission and marking
Post by: charmanderp on October 05, 2013, 05:47:45 pm
Would encourage you guys to post any practice work you might do before the exam here and then take the time to give each other feedback, with hopefully some of the more experienced EL students chipping in as well.
Title: Re: Eng Lang Essay: "Standard English is an oxymoron". Feedback Please!
Post by: barydos on October 06, 2013, 01:30:14 pm
I know this is a bit random but, is this the first Eng Lang piece posted on this forum??!!
Title: Re: Eng Lang Essay: "Standard English is an oxymoron". Feedback Please!
Post by: lzxnl on October 06, 2013, 01:46:55 pm
To be honest, I haven't seen many and it would have been nice to see more activity on this part of the forum.

Perhaps I should post some of my own work.
Title: [Eng Lang] Essay: "Contemporary Australian English is losing its identity."
Post by: barydos on October 08, 2013, 10:49:04 pm
Okay I guess I'll add to the limited Eng Lang posts we have in this forum haha

This is one of the essays I've written earlier this year (and I don't think it was under timed conditions either).
I'd love for some feedback on this, and maybe this will motivate me to write some more pieces.

Thanks
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Topic: “Contemporary Australian English is losing its identity. Discuss.”

Spoiler

Australian English (AE) is a major variety of the English language used in contemporary Australian society, and as a result it has an important role in representing the country on the global stage. Consequently, there has been scrutiny directed toward what AE has become and it has been suggested that AE is losing its identity due to some of the changes it has undergone. On the contrary, AE is merely evolving to fit into a society that is becoming increasingly global, while still retaining Australian values embodied in the language. There has been a distinct shift toward General AE, an increasing influence of American culture, and an influx of first generation Australians along with their respective ethnolects. Despite these changes, the values ingrained in the Australian identity have certainly not been lost.

There is a clear trend where Australians are moving toward a more General AE in an effort to become more intelligible in an increasingly globalised world. Conversely, there has been an decline in the Broad and Cultivated varieties of AE. Speakers of the Broad AE accent are known for a usage of slang such as “strewth”, “crikey”, “stone the crow” and “dinky-di”. These non-standard lexemes are expressions which convey surprise or shock while the latter translates to ‘speaking the truth’. However, to a non-Australian these may sound nonsensical. Because globalisation is becoming more and more significant in contemporary society, the language of choice needs to accommodate a larger audience, and as such, a move away from Broad AE aids this purpose. While non-standard lexis such as this does depict culture well, that does not mean that the decline of this often unintelligible Broad variety indicates a loss of identity. In fact, these vernacular expressions are instead being replaced by alternative, more contemporary phrases such as “no worries”, “take it easy” and “fair enough”, which not only convey Australia’s egalitarian and friendly nature, but is also easier to understand. On the opposite end of the spectrum sits the Cultivated AE, which has slowly diminished as ties with the British Empire waned in the past century. This dissociation portrays a stronger sense of national identity independent of the British influence, and so the overall shift toward the General middle ground variety of AE has refined the identity of Australia.

The influence of American culture is becoming more apparent and it is contended by some that the process of ‘Americanisation’ is diluting the identity of AE. While AE has certainly adopted some American terms and phrases, these are all selectively accepted as more appropriate and effective options to any out-dated phrases of Australian English. This fussy nature of choosing evidences that Australians remain aware and proud of the colourful expressions of Australian English, but are self-conscious about the image they want to convey to the rest of the world. Some lexical items adopted into the AE lexicon include ‘dude’, ‘gotten’ and ‘wicked’, yet these additions do not necessarily indicate a step-down of the Australian identity. In fact, as they become more and more popular in society, these terms often culminate into something with an Australian twist. Australian bodybuilder and Internet celebrity, Aziz “Zyzz” Shavershian, popularised ‘brah’, an Australianised construction of the lexeme, ‘bro’. This diphthong sound, /oʊ/, in the latter is reduced to the weaker monophthong, /a/. This phonological reduction reflects the informal and casual nature of the Australian identity. Its prevalence in the vocabulary of the youth is so great, that it has been seen as a contemporary replacement of the typically Australian lexeme, ‘mate’. Despite having a different appearance, this substitute carries the same underlying semantics as ‘mate’, and that is mateship, a core ingredient in the Australian national identity. New words and phrases will always be implemented to express the views of Australia and so there is no reason to believe that AE of today is losing its identity.

The inflow of ethnolects in contemporary Australian society is another concern for prescriptivists who believe AE is losing its identity. However, the use of non-standard lexemes in these ethnolects actually reflects the cultural diversity that is valued by Australians. As the migrant population has increased substantially in the past decade, it has become more common for first generation Australians to speak in their respective ethno-cultural variety of English. Among many of the youth of Samoan background, there is the popular use of “sole” (“sɒ-lɛ”) which is the Samoan equivalent of ‘mate’. Arab teenagers are often seen using the phrase ‘Wallah’, which translates to ‘swear to God’ or literally “promise by God”. The semantic field of ‘food’ also offers some lexical items such as ‘enchilada’ (Mexican), ‘laksa’ (Malaysian) and ‘ramen’ (Japanese). These borrowings have become a norm in AE today, and one might argue that it is therefore losing its identity due to the influence of foreign lexemes slipping into the lexicon. On the contrary, one of the qualities Australians bear is the willingness to accept other cultures. According to the Department of Immigration, “Australia’s multicultural policy embraces our shared values and cultural traditions.” The song “We are Australian” is a perfect portrayal of this sentiment. The line “We are one, but we are many” refers to Australia being made up of various different cultures united as one. Even with borrowings and influences from other cultures, AE has not lost its identity. This diverse society only highlights Australia’s shift to a more global-centric community.

AE will continually grow and develop in different ways to accommodate for the constantly-changing society. Despite evolving to appear as if old Australian traditions have been lost, the values of the Australian identity including egalitarianism, friendliness, informality, mateship and multiculturalism remain perpetuated through contemporary lexemes, typically Australian phonetic reductions and borrowing. Even by adapting and bending, Susan Butler notes that “the end result is still a unique Australian blend”. In other words, in spite of the changes it has undergone, to assert that AE is currently losing its identity could not be further from the truth.
Title: Re: [Eng Lang] Essay: "Contemporary Australian English is losing its identity."
Post by: teletubbies_95 on October 09, 2013, 06:38:50 pm
Australian English (AE) is a major variety of the English language used in contemporary Australian society, and as a result it has an important role in representing the country on the global stage. The introductory sentence is a bit too long. Consequently, there has been scrutiny directed toward what AE has become and it has been suggested that AE is losing its identity due to some of the changes it has undergone. On the contrary, AE is merely evolving to fit into a society that is becoming increasingly global, while still retaining Australian values embodied in the language. There has been a distinct shift toward General AE, an increasing influence of American culture, and an influx of first generation Australians along with their respective ethnolects. Too much listing here, try to separate them more clearly. Despite these changes, the values ingrained in the Australian identity have certainly not been lost. Good ending sentence. Maybe make your intro more concise and clear.

There is a clear trend where Australians are moving toward a more General AE in an effort to become more intelligible in an increasingly globalised world. Conversely, there has been an decline in the Broad and Cultivated varieties of AE. Speakers of the Broad AE accent are known for a usage of slang such as “strewth”, “crikey”, “stone the crow” and “dinky-di”. These non-standard lexemes are expressions which convey surprise or shock while the latter translates to ‘speaking the truth’. However, to a non-Australian these may sound nonsensical. But why ? Add attitudes here? Because globalisation is becoming more and more significant in contemporary society, the language of choice needs to accommodate a larger audience, and as such, a move away( too informal)  from Broad AE aids this purpose. While non-standard lexis such as this does depict culture well, that does not mean that the decline of this often unintelligible Broad variety indicates a loss of identity. In fact, these vernacular expressions are instead being replaced by alternative, more contemporary phrases such as “no worries”, “take it easy” and “fair enough”, which not only convey Australia’s egalitarian and friendly nature, but is also easier to understand. Really good ideas here. On the opposite end of the spectrum sits the Cultivated AE, which has slowly diminished , as ties with the British Empire waned in the past century. You could discuss this more? This dissociation portrays a stronger sense of national identity independent of the British influence, and so the overall shift toward the General middle ground variety of AE has refined the identity of Australia. Needs a link to paragraph topic and the overall topic.

The influence of American culture is becoming more apparent and it is contended by some that the process of ‘Americanisation’ is diluting the identity of AE. How have they influenced into the Australian society?(ie.film, ,music)   While AE has certainly adopted some American terms and phrases, these are all selectively accepted as more appropriate and effective options to any out-dated phrases of Australian English. This fussy( too informal)  nature of choosing evidences that Australians remain aware and proud of the colourful expressions of Australian English, but are self-conscious about the image they want to convey to the rest of the world. Some lexical items adopted into the AE lexicon include ‘dude’, ‘gotten’ and ‘wicked’, yet these additions do not necessarily indicate a step-down of the Australian identity. In fact, as they become more and more popular in society, these terms often culminate into something with an Australian twist. Australian bodybuilder and Internet celebrity, Aziz “Zyzz” Shavershian, popularised ‘brah’, an Australianised construction of the lexeme, ‘bro’. This diphthong sound, /oʊ/, in the latter is reduced to the weaker monophthong, /a/. This phonological reduction reflects the informal and casual nature of the Australian identity. Its prevalence in the vocabulary of the youth is so great( too informal) , that it has been seen as a contemporary replacement of the typically Australian lexeme, ‘mate’. Despite having a different appearance, this substitute carries the same underlying semantics as ‘mate’, and that is mateship, a core ingredient in the Australian national identity. New words and phrases will always be implemented to express the views of Australia and so there is no reason to believe that AE of today is losing its identity. Maybe use more contemporary examples, ie . “Swagie”= Justin Bieber. Also , in this paragraph, your topic sentences is about Americanization and how it is reducing the influence of typical Australians , but then you talk about they do not affect Aus identity.

The inflow of ethnolects in contemporary Australian society is another concern for prescriptivists who believe AE is losing its identity. However, the use of non-standard lexemes in these ethnolects actually reflects the cultural diversity that is valued by Australians. As the migrant population has increased substantially in the past decade, it has become more common for first generation Australians to speak in their respective ethno-cultural variety of English. Among many of the youth of Samoan background, there is the popular use of “sole” (“sɒ-lɛ”) which is the Samoan equivalent of ‘mate’. Arab teenagers are often seen using the phrase ‘Wallah’, which translates to ‘swear to God’ or literally “promise by God”. The semantic field of ‘food’ also offers some lexical items such as ‘enchilada’ (Mexican), ‘laksa’ (Malaysian) and ‘ramen’ (Japanese). These borrowings have become a norm in AE today, and one might argue that it is therefore losing its identity due to the influence of foreign lexemes slipping into the lexicon. On the contrary, one of the qualities Australians bear is the willingness to accept other cultures. According to the Department of Immigration, “Australia’s multicultural policy embraces our shared values and cultural traditions.” The song “We are Australian” is a perfect portrayal of this sentiment. The line “We are one, but we are many” refers to Australia being made up of various different cultures united as one. Maybe just use one of the examples ( ie. Department of immigration or “We are Australian” , and discuss it in depth) It seems like you are just listing examples ) Even with borrowings and influences from other cultures, AE has not lost its identity. This diverse society only highlights Australia’s shift to a more global-centric community.(No CLEAR link to topic here, ie. Loss of identity)

AE will continually grow and develop in different ways to accommodate for the constantly-changing society. Despite evolving to appear as if old Australian traditions have been lost, the values of the Australian identity including egalitarianism, friendliness, informality, mateship and multiculturalism remain perpetuated through contemporary lexemes, typically Australian phonetic reductions and borrowing.(sentence is too long – might be because of the listing, maybe shorten it a bit) Even by adapting and bending, Susan Butler notes that “the end result is still a unique Australian blend”. In other words, in spite of the changes it has undergone, to assert that AE is currently losing its identity could not be further from the truth.Nice ending sentence


Hey! ☺
Thanks for posting up your essay! ☺ Yay! I have to put one up too!
I must say your essay was really good quality! I wrote things that you should improve on:
-   include more contemporary Aus examples, so more recent examples.
-   Try  not be too wordy
-   Link to topic , so the examiner knows you understand the topic
-  I also feel that you list your examples too much ( ie. enchilada’ (Mexican), ‘laksa’ (Malaysian) and ‘ramen’ (Japanese)). Try to discuss more, so you can show off your eng lang knowledge!) :)

OMG it’s the first time ive actually marked someone else’s essay. Thank you for this opportunity! ☺
Title: Re: [Eng Lang] Essay: "Contemporary Australian English is losing its identity."
Post by: lzxnl on October 10, 2013, 07:07:24 pm
Just a few points of mine as well

Australian English (AE) is a major variety of the English language used in contemporary Australian society, and as a result it has an important role in representing the country on the global stage. I personally don't mind long introductory sentencesConsequently, there has been scrutiny directed toward what AE has become and it has been suggested that AE is losing its identity due to some of the changes it has undergone. Might be better to list the changes here instead of later on; slightly more cohesiveOn the contrary, AE is merely evolving to fit into a society that is becoming increasingly global, while still retaining Australian values embodied in the language. There has been a distinct shift toward General AE, an increasing influence of American culture, and an influx of first generation Australians along with their respective ethnolects. Despite these changes, the values ingrained in the Australian identity have certainly not been lost.

There is a clear trend where Australians are moving toward a more General AE in an effort to become more intelligible in an increasingly globalised world. Conversely, there has been an decline in the Broad and Cultivated varieties of AE. Speakers of the Broad AE accent are known for a usage of slang such as “strewth”, “crikey”, “stone the crow” and “dinky-di”. These non-standard lexemes are expressions which convey surprise or shock while the latter translates to ‘speaking the truth’. However, to a non-Australian these may sound nonsensical. Firstly, they may not sound nonsensical to just non-Australians. Secondly, you're saying such slang isn't used by General speakers? Thirdly...mention how Broad varieties create Australian cultural identity; I feel your point that non-Australians may not understand this language is a bit weak and may not hold water.Because globalisation is becoming more and more significant in contemporary society, the language of choice needs to accommodate a larger audience, and as such, a move away from Broad AE aids this purpose.elaborate perhaps? While non-standard lexis such as this does depict culture well, that does not mean that the decline of this often unintelligible Broad variety indicates a loss of identity. In fact, these vernacular expressions are instead being replaced by alternative, more contemporary phrases such as “no worries”, “take it easy” and “fair enough”, which not only convey Australia’s egalitarian and friendly nature, but is also easier to understand. On the opposite end of the spectrum sits the Cultivated AE, which has slowly diminished as ties with the British Empire waned in the past century. And...clarify the importance of this?This dissociation portrays a stronger sense of national identity independent of the British influence, and so the overall shift toward the General middle ground variety of AE has refined the identity of Australia.You have contradicted yourself here slightly I think; overall shift towards the middle ground also affects the usage of the Broad, which you've hinted at is linked to Australian identity. Has this refined Australian identity? Possibly, but it's a bit unclear

The influence of American culture is becoming more apparent and it is contended by some that the process of ‘Americanisation’ is diluting the identity of AE. While AE has certainly adopted some American terms and phrases, these are all selectively accepted as more appropriate and effective options to any out-dated phrases of Australian English.Be careful about making sweeping generalisations. Are you saying that "g'day" is out-dated? That "mate" is out-dated? Also, some Americanisms don't replace 'Australian' terms, like the stereotypical usage of "totally" This fussy nature of choosing evidences that Australians remain aware and proud of the colourful expressions of Australian English, but are self-conscious about the image they want to convey to the rest of the world.elaborate on image Some lexical items adopted into the AE lexicon include ‘dude’, ‘gotten’ and ‘wicked’, yet these additions do not necessarily indicate a step-down of the Australian identity. In fact, as they become more and more popular in society, these terms often culminate into something with an Australian twist. Australian bodybuilder and Internet celebrity, Aziz “Zyzz” Shavershian, popularised ‘brah’, an Australianised construction of the lexeme, ‘bro’. This diphthong sound, /oʊ/, in the latter is reduced to the weaker monophthong, /a/. This phonological reduction reflects the informal and casual nature of the Australian identity. I don't quite see the point; we already had a shortening, which also reflects the informal and casual nature of Australian identityIts prevalence in the vocabulary of the youth is so great, that it has been seen as a contemporary replacement of the typically Australian lexeme, ‘mate’. However, there has been public opposition to this shift away from 'mate' in AustraliaDespite having a different appearance, this substitute carries the same underlying semantics as ‘mate’, and that is mateship, really? The two words carry different connotations in my mind at leasta core ingredient in the Australian national identity. New words and phrases will always be implemented to express the views of Australia and so there is no reason to believe that AE of today is losing its identity.but borrowing from America is the best way to do this?

The inflow of ethnolects in contemporary Australian society is another concern for prescriptivists who believe AE is losing its identity. However, the use of non-standard lexemes in these ethnolects actually reflects the cultural diversity that is valued by Australians. As the migrant population has increased substantially in the past decade, it has become more common for first generation Australians to speak in their respective ethno-cultural variety of English. Among many of the youth of Samoan background, there is the popular use of “sole” (“sɒ-lɛ”) which is the Samoan equivalent of ‘mate’. Arab teenagers are often seen using the phrase ‘Wallah’, which translates to ‘swear to God’ or literally “promise by God”. The semantic field of ‘food’ also offers some lexical items such as ‘enchilada’ (Mexican), ‘laksa’ (Malaysian) and ‘ramen’ (Japanese). These borrowings have become a norm in AE today, and one might argue that it is therefore losing its identity due to the influence of foreign lexemes slipping into the lexicon. On the contrary, one of the qualities Australians bear is the willingness to accept other cultures. According to the Department of Immigration, “Australia’s multicultural policy embraces our shared values and cultural traditions.” The song “We are Australian” is a perfect portrayal of this sentiment. The line “We are one, but we are many” refers to Australia being made up of various different cultures united as one. Even with borrowings and influences from other cultures, AE has not lost its identity.Interesting point. I think it would be better if you strengthened your point that ethnolect usage reflects aligning oneself with a particular culture This diverse society only highlights Australia’s shift to a more global-centric community.I really fail to see the relevance here. Forgive me

AE will continually grow and develop in different ways to accommodate for the constantly-changing society. Despite evolving to appear as if old Australian traditions have been lost, the values of the Australian identity including egalitarianism, friendliness, informality, mateship and multiculturalism remain perpetuated through contemporary lexemes, typically Australian phonetic reductions and borrowing. Even by adapting and bending, Susan Butler notes that “the end result is still a unique Australian blend”.yay it's a quote (: In other words, in spite of the changes it has undergone, to assert that AE is currently losing its identity could not be further from the truth.

Your essay had a lot of relevant content, which was good. Sometimes, I felt that your commentary got a bit lost. Make it clearer for people like us who unfortunately don't have access to what's going on in your mind (:
I sound really negative, but that's my character; I naturally comment on anything I feel uncomfortable with, and I'm horrible at praising people, so bear with me. Please xD

You certainly know what you're doing, so keep practising, and good luck!
Title: One of my own (admittedly rather poor) essays (English Language)
Post by: lzxnl on October 10, 2013, 07:10:43 pm
I'm really lost on the topic of informal language in general; I have to rote learn all of these concepts like reducing social distance and creating rapport as well as all of these slang expressions because I don't use them much, and then I run into the problem of not having good examples. I'll fail if I have to write on informal language in the exam )':

Spoiler
Informal language has a variety of functions in Australian society. What do you see as some of the crucial roles of informal language in contemporary Australia?
   In Australian society, informal language is a very important language variety that serves a diversity of useful social roles. Colloquial Australian English exhibits various aspects of Australian culture, promoting national identity, while informal language can also promote group identities and enhance expression. Therefore, the variety of functions displayed by informal Australian English makes it an indispensable tool of communication.
   Colloquial Australian English promotes national identity through its close adherence to Australian cultural values. Diminutives, for example, reduce social distance and exhibit the nationally recognised Australian value of being laid-back. This is seen in the difference between “I’m having a barbeque at my house this afternoon” and “I’m havin’ a barbie at my house this arvo” in register and formality; the latter sounds distinctly friendlier and more relaxed, reduces social distance and creates covert prestige amongst the speakers, common features of informal language in general. Likewise, affectionate nicknames like “Richo” for football player Matthew Richardson, “Warnie” for Shane Warne in the media and names like “Jonno”, “Gordo” and “Stevo” between friends also help to reduce social distance and exemplify the laid-back character of Australian culture. Equally, Australian English has various lexical items that reflect Australian identity. Terms like “g’day” and “mate” have been ingrained in Australian as representing mateship, a cornerstone of Australian culture to the point that outrage has erupted over the replacement of these with the American “hey” and “buddy”. This is also reflected by Richard Castle’s comment that “through its culturally ingrained connotations of egalitarianism and mutual respect, ‘mate’ suggests an openness, at least a relationship of equal”, explaining the intrinsic importance of this lexeme. Another feature is swearing. According to Kate Burridge, the “Great Australian adjective” ‘bloody’ has “now become an important indicator of Australianness and of cultural values” like “friendliness, informality, laid-backness and mateship”. Evidently, swearing in Australia is not as strongly taboo as in other countries, reflected by the positive reception of the TAC “bloody idiot” and “don’t be a dickhead” campaigns and the Toyota “bugger” ad campaign. Such positive public reception demonstrates that Australians have accepted swearing as characterising Australian culture, showing how Australian informal English reflects national identity.
   Informal language can also promote group identities. Slang, as an ephemeral, informal variety of language, allows the younger generation to separate themselves from the old by outdating older slang terms like “ace”, “rad” and “blood” with “sick”, “boss” and “bro”, immediately allowing the younger generation to create their own identity. It can also allow individual groups to separate themselves from each other. There are a vast number of slang synonyms for “good”, like “amaze-balls”, “sick”, “rock” and “boss” and numerous ones for “bad”, like “cruddy”, “crap”, “bogus” and “skank”. A group can signal its identity by the common adoption of particular slang expressions for good and bad, which strengthens the cohesive ties within that group. This is also seen on a professional level. In Australian hospitals, hospital staff have been known to speak of “FLK” for “funny looking kid”, “cactus” for “death”, “vegetable” for “comatose patients” and “crumbles” for the frail and elderly. Such irreverence for human life allows the staff to cope with the reality of their jobs, identifies dealing with these patients on a daily basis as routine and identifies shared experiences and jobs, which strengthens group identity, reduces social distance and improves the friendliness of the work environment. Thus, informal language is important for signalling group identity.
   Furthermore, informal language has an additional function in enhancing expression. It allows people to communicate concepts and ideas much more concisely than in Standard English. This is done by the various creative word formation processes available to slang. Blends and compounding allow the resulting concoctions to possess semantic properties of the words used to create them. For instance, “bootylicious”, a combination of “booty” and “delicious” to suggest physical attractiveness; “vomatose” as a blend of comatose” and “vomit” to mean disgusting; “tree hugger” as a compound to describe environmentalists and “couch potato” as a compound to pejoratively describe a physically lazy person, all increase the expressive capability of the English language by creating new phrases with different semantic properties. Also, swearing can provide a large variety of meanings as well. The word “f***” can be used as an expletive of frustration; as a verb describing coitus; to describe ruining like “f up”; to describe indifference like in “f that shit”; in the form “f-ing” as an intensifier like “f-ing awesome” or as a dysphemistic insult like “f-ing idiot”’; the actual meaning of f*** depends on context. Clearly, informal language broadens the available linguistic resources to speakers, allowing more complex situations to be described concisely.
   Informal language has many uses, from creating national identity to acting as the “masonic mortar to stick members together” according to Burridge and broadening the language’s expressive capability. Thus, its varied uses make informal language a ubiquitous and essential tool of communication to maintain social harmony.

Please be as negative as possible when reading this. I would LOVE to see people tear it apart constructively (:
Title: Re: One of my own (admittedly rather poor) essays
Post by: lala1911 on October 10, 2013, 07:30:00 pm
If that's a poor essay my essays must be bankrupt, or in debt.
Title: Re: One of my own (admittedly rather poor) essays
Post by: lzxnl on October 10, 2013, 07:36:45 pm
No I'm serious...I don't have much of a clue when writing stuff about informal language and most of what I write is pretty much rote-learned...it's not like I really understand much of what I write...
Title: Re: One of my own (admittedly rather poor) essays
Post by: lzxnl on October 10, 2013, 07:44:32 pm
While we're on the topic of discussing my rather uncertain essays...would someone look at this one too? I never used much online language so I don't have much knowledge on that.

Spoiler
Should the community be concerned that technology is replacing traditional forms of oral communication, such as face-to-face communication?
   With society’s increasing reliance on newer technologies, people are worried that technological forms of communication such as blogging, social media and instant messaging will replace traditional forms of oral communication. It is true that technological communication is often more convenient than face-to-face communication and promotes linguistic creativity more so than oral communication. However, face-to-face communication is renowned for its emotive quality evident from the inherently personal nature of the spoken mode as well as the array of prosodic features at its disposal. Therefore, while technological communication usage is on the rise, face-to-face communication will not be completely replaced; the two modes of communication can coexist.
   The rise of technological communication is partly due to its advantage in convenience over speech. Face-to-face communication, by its very name, requires the interlocutors to be at a similar physical location at the same time, which in today’s fast-paced and busy society can be quite difficult to organise. Technological communication, however, can mirror speech’s speed and spontaneity through instant messaging like Facebook, Messenger and texting without the restriction that the interlocutors be physically close to each other, allowing people to communicate with each other on the go. This is especially useful with social media such as Twitter in keeping people up-to-date with the latest news about their favourite celebrities. The growing popularity of chat rooms and online dating demonstrates how people have noticed the ability of technology to facilitate real-time communication between people separated physically. Likewise, through emails and similar forms of communication, the interlocutors can respond at leisure, which is ideal for busy people and those living in different time zones to their friends. Thus, technology allows people to “expand the choice about where, when, how and with whom conversations take place”, according to Marie Jasinski’s Conversations – creating a space for learning and innovation. Also, technological communication’s written nature makes it more convenient for communicating large volumes of information than speech. Online, two people can have a conversation in which multiple topics are discussed at once through sending long chat messages to each other, something impossible in speech due to its fleeting nature. Thus, the freedom in being able to control various aspects of the conversation help to explain the popularity of technological communication.
   Another advantage of technological communication is its freedom of expression, which is unparalleled in speech. Freedom of expression arises online due to the ability to create multiple identities to remain anonymous and the general lack of impact to a person’s real-world image. This results in people voicing their opinions more openly and with less embellishment online, leading to online disputes over Youtube videos and religious and political arguments on Facebook photos. As the internet provides a place for people to voice their innermost thoughts and beliefs and to even meet like-minded people on places like forums, the internet is a valuable place for communication. Also, this freedom of expression means technological communication is a chief source of neologisms and creative word formation. Some of these are due to the character limit in texts and tweets, such as morphological concoctions like the rebus “m8”, the acronym “lol” and the abbreviation “tgif”, meaning “Thank God it’s Friday” incydk, or in case you didn’t know. Other morphological shortenings stem from the elision of several unnecessary letters, the absence of which does not impact the comprehensibility of the message. Such examples include “u” for “you”, “thx” for “thanks”, “cld” and “wld” for “could” and “would” and “pls” for “please”. The power of technological communication has even codified some of these neologisms, such as “lol” and “gg” which may be heard in spoken communication amongst friends now. Thus, both aspects of the freedom of expression granted by technological communication exemplify Nathan Rosenberg’s comment in The Age that it allows people to “say things they wouldn’t normally say”.
   Despite all of the advantages of technological communication, speech has unique qualities that enable it to coexist with technological communication as a viable form of communication. Regardless of all of the emoticons and facial expressions that technological communication has at its disposal, technological communication lacks the interpersonal interaction that is so crucial to speech. In speech, the interlocutors are able to more accurately gauge each other’s emotions through paralinguistic features like facial expressions and gestures and prosodic features like stress, pitch and intonation, features which can also communicate various shades of meaning like holding the floor and a participant’s reaction to an utterance and cannot be conveyed as accurately in technological communication. This is reflected in the fact that formal speeches are still given for important occasions to allow the orator to infuse the speech with their own emotions, such as Julia Gillard’s Condolence Speech regarding the Queensland floods in 2010-2011 or Kevin Rudd’s apology to the Aborigines in 2008. As these were presented in spoken form, they were perceived as more sincere, heartfelt and effective, characteristics deriving from the prosodic features of the speech, and demonstrated the emotional power of spoken communication. For this reason, spoken communication is also deemed to be more personal than other forms of communication. Relationship breakups, for instance, are preferably announced in person as it is more interactive and shows more respect than the technological alternatives, while if a family member is injured or killed, the police will generally not send a text message or email, but will instead make a personal visit to the family, which again indicates respect. Therefore, speech’s irreplaceable personal and emotional characteristics mean that it is able to coexist with technological communication.
   As technology becomes an ever-increasing part of people’s lives, the reliance on technological communication will increase due to its convenience and linguistic freedom. However, there are aspects of speech, such as its personal and emotive aspects, which cannot be replaced by technological communication. Thus, the community does not need to fear the replacing of speech by technology because the two modes of communication have separate purposes.
Title: Re: One of my own (admittedly rather poor) essays
Post by: thushan on October 10, 2013, 09:45:24 pm
"Informal language has a variety of functions in Australian society. What do you see as some of the crucial roles of informal language in contemporary Australia?"

   In Australian society, informal language is a very important language variety that serves a diversity of useful diverse and useful social roles. Colloquial Australian English exhibits various aspects of Australian culture, promoting national identity, while informal language can also promote group identities and enhance expression. Therefore, the variety of functions displayed by informal Australian English makes it an indispensable tool of communication.

   Colloquial Australian English promotes national identity through its close adherence to Australian cultural values. Diminutives, for example, reduce social distance and exhibit the nationally recognised Australian value of being laid-back easygoing (use formal register please). This is seen in the difference between “I’m having a barbeque at my house this afternoon” and “I’m havin’ a barbie at my house this arvo” I'd like to see some IPA here to show off to the examinerin register and formality; the latter sounds distinctly friendlier and more relaxed, reduces social distance and creates covert prestige (how so? explain) amongst the speakers, common features of informal language in general. Likewise, affectionate nicknames like “Richo” for football player Matthew Richardson, “Warnie” for Shane Warne in the media and names like “Jonno”, “Gordo” and “Stevo” between friends also help to reduce social distance and exemplify the laid-back easygoing character of Australian culture. (Comment on the morphology here, with the use of -o as a suffix) Equally, Australian English has various lexical items that reflect Australian identity. Terms like “g’day” and “mate” have been ingrained in Australian as representing "mateship", a cornerstone of Australian culture to the point that outrage has erupted over the replacement of these with the American “hey” and “buddy”. This is also reflected by Richard Castle’s comment that “through its culturally ingrained connotations of egalitarianism and mutual respect, ‘mate’ suggests an openness, at least a relationship of equal”, explaining the intrinsic importance of this lexeme. Another feature is swearing. According to Kate Burridge, the “Great Australian adjective” ‘bloody’ has “now become an important indicator of "Australianness" and of cultural values” like “friendliness, informality, laid-backness and mateship”. Evidently, swearing in Australia is not as strongly taboo as in other countries, reflected by the positive reception of the TAC “bloody idiot” and “don’t be a dickhead” campaigns and the Toyota “bugger” ad campaign. Such positive public reception demonstrates that Australians have accepted swearing as characterising Australian culture, showing how Australian informal English reflects national identity.

Pretty solid paragraph.

   Informal language can also promote group identities. Slang, as an ephemeral, informal variety of language, allows the younger generation to separate themselves from the old by outdating older slang terms like “ace”, “rad” and “blood” with “sick”, “boss” and “bro”, immediately allowing the younger generation to create their own identity. It can also allow individual groups to separate themselves from each other one another. There are a vast number of positive slang synonyms for “good”, like “amaze-balls”, “sick”, “rock” and “boss” and numerous negativeones for “bad”, like “cruddy”, “crap”, “bogus” and “skank”. A group can signal its identity by the common adoption of particular slang expressions for good and bad, which strengthens the cohesive ties within that group. This is also seen on a professional level. In Australian hospitals, hospital staff have been known to speak of “FLK” for “funny looking kid” (LOL! Did you get that from my essay?), “cactus” for “death”, “vegetable” for “comatose patients” and “crumbles” for the frail and elderly. Such irreverence for human life allows the staff to cope with the reality of their jobs, identifies dealing with these patients on a daily basis as routine and identifies shared experiences and jobs, which strengthens group identity, reduces social distance and improves the friendliness of the work environment. Very good! Thus, informal language is important for signalling group identity.

   Furthermore, informal language has an additional function in enhancing expression. It allows people to communicate concepts and ideas much more concisely than in Standard English. This is done by the various creative word formation processes available to slang. Blends and compounding allow the resulting concoctions to possess semantic properties of the words used to create them. For instance, “bootylicious”, a combination of “booty” and “delicious” to suggest physical attractiveness; “vomatose” as a blend of comatose” and “vomit” to mean disgusting; “tree hugger” as a compound to describe environmentalists and “couch potato” as a compound to pejoratively describe a physically lazy person, all increase the expressive capability of the English language by creating new phrases with different semantic properties. Also, swearing can provide a large variety of meanings as well. The word “f***” can be used as an expletive of frustration; as a verb describing coitus; to describe ruining like “f up”; to describe indifference like in “f that shit”; in the form “f-ing” as an intensifier like “f-ing awesome” or as a dysphemistic insult like “f-ing idiot”’; the actual meaning of f*** depends on context. Clearly, informal language broadens the available linguistic resources to speakers, allowing more complex situations to be described concisely.

   Informal language has many uses, from creating national identity to acting as the “masonic mortar to stick members together” according to Burridge and broadening the language’s expressive capability. Thus, its varied uses make informal language a ubiquitous and essential tool of communication to maintain social harmony.

Very solid essay. My only issues were that you could have phrased a few things better and that you could have really broken down exactly how informal language conveys identity. The idea that it is distinctive and specific to a particular group, meaning that the language variety is specific to that group, facilitates this in group-solidarity, should be explored too to push this essay to about a 14-15. Also, watch your register - sometimes you can come across as informal (LOL the irony); remember that this is a formal essay, and words like "mateship" should have quotation marks.

Good work. 13/15
Title: Re: One of my own (admittedly rather poor) essays
Post by: lzxnl on October 10, 2013, 09:57:02 pm
LOL nah I didn't copy it from your essay; I haven't even seen any of yours.
I copied those examples from the textbook :D
As I said...I'm pretty hopeless on informal language...can't come up with my own examples, so I have to poach them from somewhere. And now, evidently, I need more. From somewhere.

The main problem is, I really have no clue about how informal language really works to create in-group solidarity. I can only puppet examples I've seen and perhaps analyse them when told they create solidarity. I don't normally use informal language with friends for this purpose; I use informal language primarily because it's convenient, not to create identity.

Thanks for the feedback!
Title: Re: One of my own (admittedly rather poor) essays
Post by: thushan on October 10, 2013, 10:00:32 pm
LOL nah I didn't copy it from your essay; I haven't even seen any of yours.
I copied those examples from the textbook :D
As I said...I'm pretty hopeless on informal language...can't come up with my own examples, so I have to poach them from somewhere. And now, evidently, I need more. From somewhere.

The main problem is, I really have no clue about how informal language really works to create in-group solidarity. I can only puppet examples I've seen and perhaps analyse them when told they create solidarity. I don't normally use informal language with friends for this purpose; I use informal language primarily because it's convenient, not to create identity.

These things aren't so much conscious often. Put it this way...how do you think they would react if you spoke in a highly formal register to them? They'd think you're a pompous prat, because theyd think you're trying to set yourself apart from everyone else, and showing some superiority by using a register that is associated with prestige.
Title: Re: One of my own (admittedly rather poor) essays
Post by: lzxnl on October 10, 2013, 10:02:42 pm
Actually...to me, it is quite conscious. I do pay attention to the register I use with different people, which is a sad reflection of my social life.

And to be honest, if I spoke in a highly formal register, my friends would see it as living up to stereotypes.
Title: Re: One of my own (admittedly rather poor) essays
Post by: thushan on October 10, 2013, 10:08:03 pm
Actually...to me, it is quite conscious. I do pay attention to the register I use with different people, which is a sad reflection of my social life.

And to be honest, if I spoke in a highly formal register, my friends would see it as living up to stereotypes.

Haha. Now, or before you started doing Englang? :P
Title: Re: One of my own (admittedly rather poor) essays
Post by: lzxnl on October 10, 2013, 10:12:53 pm
I'm not sure actually...could have been either.

Look at my second essay as well? I think this essay is worse; online language is something I'm even more unfamiliar with.
Title: Re: One of my own (admittedly rather poor) essays
Post by: teletubbies_95 on October 10, 2013, 10:58:46 pm
Informal language has a variety of functions in Australian society. What do you see as some of the crucial roles of informal language in contemporary Australia?
   In Australian society, informal language is a very important language variety that serves a diversity ( diversity ..just doesnt sound right. of useful social roles. Colloquial Australian English exhibits various aspects of Australian culture, promoting national identity, while informal language can also promote group identities and enhance expression.  Good , clear outlining of arguments Therefore, the variety of functions displayed by informal Australian English makes it an indispensable tool of communication.Good
   
Colloquial Australian English promotes national identity through its close adherence to Australian cultural values. I think you should say something in here , just a general sentence. It seems like your jumping straight into discussing metalang. Diminutives, for example, reduce social distance and exhibit the nationally recognised Australian value of being laid-back. This is seen in the difference between “I’m having a barbeque at my house this afternoon” and “I’m havin’ a barbie at my house this arvo” in register and formality; the latter sounds distinctly friendlier and more relaxed, reduces social distance and creates covert prestige amongst the speakers, common features of informal language in general. Could reduce sentence length here Likewise, affectionate nicknames like “Richo” for football player Matthew Richardson, “Warnie” for Shane Warne in the media and names like “Jonno”, “Gordo” and “Stevo” between friends also help to reduce social distance and exemplify the laid-back character of Australian culture. Equally, Australian English has various lexical items that reflect Australian identity. Terms like “g’day” and “mate” have been ingrained in Australian as representing mateship, a cornerstone of Australian culture to the point that outrage has erupted over the replacement of these with the American “hey” and “buddy”.Good This is also reflected by Richard Castle’s comment that “through its culturally ingrained connotations of egalitarianism and mutual respect, ‘mate’ suggests an openness, at least a relationship of equal”, explaining the intrinsic importance of this lexeme. Another feature is swearing. According to Kate Burridge, the “Great Australian adjective” ‘bloody’ has “now become an important indicator of Australianness and of cultural values” like “friendliness, informality, laid-backness and mateship”. Evidently, swearing in Australia is not as strongly taboo as in other countries, reflected by the positive reception of the TAC “bloody idiot” and “don’t be a dickhead” campaigns and the Toyota “bugger” ad campaign. Such positive public reception demonstrates that Australians have accepted swearing as characterising Australian culture, showing how Australian informal English reflects national identity.
 
 Informal language can also promote group identities. Clear, topic sentence! Slang, as an ephemeral, informal variety of language, allows the younger generation to separate themselves from the old by outdating older slang terms like “ace”, “rad” and “blood” with “sick”, “boss” and “bro”, immediately allowing the younger generation to create their own identity. It can also allow individual groups to separate themselves from each other. Ok , bit confused here. You talk about the young generation, but then you say something about individual groups, you have examples for language for young people. There are a vast number of slang synonyms for “good”, like “amaze-balls”, “sick”, “rock” and “boss” and numerous ones for “bad”, like “cruddy”, “crap”, “bogus” and “skank”. Maybe try to find more contemporary examples! A group can signal its identity by the common adoption of particular slang expressions for good and bad, which strengthens the cohesive ties within that group. This is also seen on a professional level. In Australian hospitals, hospital staff have been known to speak of “FLK” for “funny looking kid”, “cactus” for “death”, “vegetable” for “comatose patients” and “crumbles” for the frail and elderly. Such irreverence for human life allows the staff to cope with the reality of their jobs, identifies dealing with these patients on a daily basis as routine and identifies shared experiences and jobs, which strengthens group identity, reduces social distance and improves the friendliness of the work environment. Sentence is too long. Thus, informal language is important for signalling group identity. Try to use synonyms of “important” .
 
 Furthermore, informal language has an additional function in enhancing expression. It allows people to communicate concepts and ideas much more concisely than in Standard English. This is done by the various creative word formation processes available to slang. Blends and compounding allow the resulting concoctions to possess semantic properties of the words used to create them. For instance, “bootylicious”, a combination of “booty” and “delicious” to suggest physical attractiveness; “vomatose” as a blend of comatose” and “vomit” to mean disgusting; “tree hugger” as a compound to describe environmentalists and “couch potato” as a compound to pejoratively describe a physically lazy person, all increase the expressive capability of the English language by creating new phrases with different semantic properties. I think this sentence is way too long. Also, swearing can provide a large variety of meanings as well. The word “f***” can be used as an expletive of frustration; as a verb describing coitus; to describe ruining like “f up”; to describe indifference like in “f that shit”; in the form “f-ing” as an intensifier like “f-ing awesome” or as a dysphemistic insult like “f-ing idiot”’; the actual meaning of f*** depends on context. This one too. But the ideas are great! Clearly, informal language broadens the available linguistic resources to speakers, allowing more complex situations to be described concisely.
   
Informal language has many uses, from creating national identity to acting as the “masonic mortar to stick members together” according to Burridge and broadening the language’s expressive capability. GoodThus, its varied uses make informal language a ubiquitous and essential tool of communication to maintain social harmony.

Overall.... This essay is really good! :) Well done ! Some really great ideas, and you discussed them really well!
Shall be putting some essays up soon!

Hope this helps!
Title: Can someone have a look at this Eng Lang essay?
Post by: Scooby on October 10, 2013, 11:28:29 pm
Can someone have a look at this one? Thanks :)

Spoiler
How is Australian English changing to reflect the evolving identity of Australians in the twenty-first century? Discuss at least two of the subsystems in your response.

Australian English has undergone a number of changes in recent decades. Globalisation of language, which has resulted from the development of a wide range of technologies, has resulted in the incorporation into Australian English of a number of Americanisms. In addition, the linguistic diversity of Australia has been enhanced by the migration into the country of a large number of individuals, all of whom bring to the country a myriad of values and beliefs that have been instilled in their language. The Australian accent has also evolved dramatically since British colonisation, and this is reflective of the changing values of Australian society.

The globalisation of language has been facilitated by the development of a wide range of technologies within recent decades. This most markedly includes social media websites, such as Facebook and Twitter, which allow exchange of linguistic features to occur between different parts of the world very readily. It is believed by many Australians that, as a consequence of this rapid technological development, Americanisms have infiltrated the nation’s language. Many Australians are apprehensive about a loss of national identity that could result from this invasion of their lexicon. These individuals are perhaps concerned that American English may eventually become the most prevalent English spoken in Australia; concerned that the values instilled in Australian English may eventually be completely subsumed by those associated with American English. Despite these fears, very few Americanisms have integrated into Australian English, and those that have include only a select few lexical items, including “buddy”. The likelihood that a few lexical items from American English could completely destroy the Australian identity is very unlikely. The apprehension of Australian speakers towards Americanisms is unfounded, and even if dramatic changes were to occur in the future, this is not necessarily a bad thing. English, after all, is the result of the mixture of a number of different European languages. Incorporation of additional Americanisms into Australian English, perhaps including some syntactic features, would merely add an additional layer to the Australian identity. After all, these Americanisms were accepted by choice; they were not forced upon Australian speakers against their will. 

According to Hugh Lunn, if you lose your language, “you lose your personality, your character and who you are.” Ethnolects allow those who migrate into Australia from non-English speaking backgrounds to preserve the cultural values of their previous country. This widespread presence of a variety of different ethnolects in Australia is indicative of the nation’s multiculturalism. In addition, migrants from foreign countries may also preserve their cultural heritage through the use of some unique paralinguistic features. Despite this, it often hinders assimilation into the Australian culture. Migrants from Asia tend to make minimal eye contact during conversations, given that in most Asian nations it is considered polite. However, the opposite is true in most Western nations. The use of such a paralinguistic feature by an Asian migrant may be affronting to an Australian, and may result in the perpetuation of unjust prejudices, such as that “Asian people cannot be trusted”. Therefore, while the use of ethnolects and other features derived from a migrant’s original language may allow the preservation of culture, it may also hinder assimilation into Australian society.

The Australian accent has undergone dramatic changes since colonisation of Australia by the British. Initially, Australian English was simply a mongrel of many different British dialects. Soon after, these Australians distinguished their identity from that of the British by constructing their own distinctive language. The cultivated accent was used by the socially elite to demonstrate their power in society and command respect from others. However, in modern Australia, there has been a trend away from the cultivated accent. The current attitudes and beliefs of Australian speakers do not meld with the arrogance exuded by the cultivated accent, and according to linguist Kate Burridge, “one often encounters hostile or amused reactions to the cultivated accent.” As a result, the prevalence of the general accent, which combines the egalitarianism and friendliness instilled in the broad accent with the high levels of education indicated by the cultivated accent, has increased. Nevertheless, Australia’s speakers remain linguistically diverse, with geographical location a main determinant of the accent used. Individuals living in rural areas are far more likely to adopt a broad accent, which is perhaps correlated with the lower levels of education received by most rurally-located individuals. In addition, there is continued borrowing of lexical items from Indigenous languages. “Hard yakka” is a distinctively Australian phrase originally derived in such a manner.

The Australian identity is represented in English used by its citizens. The introduction of Americanisms into Australian English, which has resulted from rapid technological development in recent decades, has elicited great apprehension from many of these citizens. Nevertheless, currently, the Americanisms evident in the language of Australians are purely lexical. The multiculturalism of Australia is enhanced by the presence of a wide range of different ethnolects. These ethnolects, among other linguistic features, allow migrants to maintain the cultural identity of their previous country, but at times may hinder their assimilation into Australian society. In addition, the accent of Australian speakers has undergone a number of changes since colonisation of the country by the British, and this is indicative of the predominating attitudes held by society. The Australian identity is powerfully reinforced by the language spoken by its citizens.

And yeah, be harsh (I feel at times I was just telling a story rather than analysing anything)
Title: Re: English Language submission and marking
Post by: joey7 on October 10, 2013, 11:37:58 pm
Hey guys, very much appreciate any feedback on this essay, be as harsh as you like.

Spoiler
           
"'Your use of language sends out lots of little messages, not just about your level of education and where you come from, but about how you would like to be perceived"

Our language is the means through which we communicate with one another. However, above and beyond this communicational function, language shapes the way we are perceived. Through idiosyncrasies in the way that we use language aspects such as educational level, geographic location, socio-economic status and the groups to which we belong may be inferred. Therefore in order to create particular identities, people vary their language at different times and in different contexts to portray characteristics they see as desirable. This is evidenced through the broad to general continuum of Australian accents correlation with education, status and Australian qualities, the increased use of ethnolect’s in establishing a unique identity and the informal, ephemeral slang and jargon employed by our younger generations.
     One of the most striking features of an individual’s speech is their accent. Many Australians, particularly from regional areas are clearly identifiable by striking phonological features such as drawn out vowels, long single vowels /a:/ and the use of diphthongs in place of monophthongs; resulting in words like “mate” sounding like “mite” . These Broad Australian features associated with low education and socio-economic status are employed as they portray salient Australian values such as informality and anti-intellectualism. No longer is a cultivated accent depicting high education and wealth desirable, with linguists suggesting that people deliberately choose low status accents in order to invoke prestige. This was evidenced in John Howard’s success throughout his terms as Prime Minster in using a Broad Australian accent to portray a down-to-earth identity, but interestingly however not reflected in Julia Gillard’s terms as Prime Minister with her Australian accent harshly criticised, suggesting care-free anti-intellectual qualities are not seen as acceptable coming from a female. As well as this a person will modify the severity of their accent according to the extent to which they wish to assert their identity. For example a person who speaks with a General Australian accent may use some broad features when conversing with Australians with this accent to signpost Australian identity in an attempt to fit in. As seen people are able to portray an identity highlighting low-education, anti-intellectualism and egalitarianism through phonological features of their speech.
      In a similar way, the accent and lexis of multicultural Australia shows how language may be used to convey identity. As immigrants integrate into society and adopt English as a language, most look for ways in which they can accentuate their origins, with many of them doing this through language. One such example is the Italian/Greek/Lebanese communities accent/variety described as “wog-speak”. Characterised by pronunciations resulting in words such as “measure” rhyming with the word “bar” and borrowings from original language for instance “habib” “uleh” and repeated use of lexemes such as “brah”  this variety clearly signposts the geographical origins of the speakers who use it. This ethnolect is seen in TV shows such as “Fat Pizza” and is particularly prevalent among youth, with evidence of spread even beyond people with a European background. Indeed through language variations Identity is demonstrated and maintained.
     One of the most prominent linguistic talking points of contemporary Australia is the slang and jargon characterising the speech of younger generations. Influenced by technology and social media, the lexis of young Australian’s serve to identify its speakers and at the same time exclude speakers who do not use “correct” or “current” terminology. Examples of this jargon and slang is seen in the Australian TV series Summer Heights High where Chris Lilley effectively captures the language of a teenage boy using phrases such as “homo” “ranga” “shit” “motherfucker” and a teenage girl using expressions such as “oh my god” “povo” “random” “like”. The transient nature of this slang however, has even seen some of these terms become obsolete and it is for this very reason that the variety acts as such a successful group marker as older people who try to pick up the lingo are caught using old phrases and come across as daggy or lame. As such through slang and jargon our younger generations have a functioning system through which they are able to portray an identity as a young person.
     The language we use is a main ingredient of the image which we project into the world around us. As seen through phonological and lexical features of our speech we are able to portray, our level of education, geographical origins and qualities we feel are most important and through the slang and jargon we use the generation to which we belong.
 
     
Title: Re: One of my own (admittedly rather poor) essays
Post by: Wu on October 11, 2013, 05:26:11 pm
Just a few quick suggestions:

- You quote people, mention their names but fail to explain why they're important.
"This is also reflected by Richard Castle’s comment that “through its culturally ingrained connotations of egalitarianism and mutual respect, ‘mate’ suggests an openness, at least a relationship of equal”"
"This is also reflected by Bobby McKFCmcdonaldshungryjacks’s comment that “through its culturally ingrained connotations of egalitarianism and mutual respect, ‘mate’ suggests an openness, at least a relationship of equal”"
There's not much point mentioning the name of your source of quote if you don't state whether they are a linguist, someone in the media, an author, a publisher or someone whose perceptions are even important in the literary world.

- Don't use colloquialisms and slang in your essay. Keep it in a highly formal register
- You list many examples yet they aren't effective if you don't explain them more -- try and link them back to attitudes and the functions of their existence
- Try and quickly slip in what word process is used in your examples (such as "the diminutive form of Robert, "Robbo")

[edit]
Righty-o. I have just finished reading your second essay and have a few things to add.

incydk, or in case you didn’t know
You had me stumped for a few good minutes here. Please don't use such jokes in a formal essay-- if the examiner can't understand what you're writing then they'll just skip to the next comprehensible part. If you really want to integrate it in then I suggest you somehow formulate it in brackets or present it so that your joke is clearer. Something along the lines of "meaning “Thank God it’s Friday”, incydk, or "in case you didn’t know"". Eh.
Another thing I must suggest is that you place brackets after each of your examples to translate it. For example, ""u" (you), "thx" (thanks)" is much more clearer than your clunky "“u” for “you”, “thx” for “thanks”" while also saving words. No one wants to read half a paragraph of examples with no substance to back it up.

Sorry if I seem very critical of your work-- what you've done is great but there is never perfection in English. I'll put some of my stuff up after which you can point as many fingers at as you can.
Title: Re: Can someone have a look at this Eng Lang essay?
Post by: lzxnl on October 11, 2013, 05:28:17 pm
How is Australian English changing to reflect the evolving identity of Australians in the twenty-first century? Discuss at least two of the subsystems in your response.

Australian English has undergone a number of changes in recent decades. Globalisation of language, which has resulted from the development of a wide range of technologies, has resulted in the incorporation into Australian English of a number of Americanisms. In addition, the linguistic diversity of Australia has been enhanced by the migration into the country of a large number of individuals Slightly unusual phrasing, all of whom bring to the country a myriad of values and beliefs that have been instilled in their language plural?. The Australian accent has also evolved dramatically since British colonisation that is a LOOOOONG time ago..., and this is reflective of the changing values of Australian society.

The globalisation of language has been facilitated by the development of a wide range of technologies within recent decades. This most markedly includes social media websites, such as Facebook and Twitter, which allow exchange of linguistic features reads weirdly to me for some reason to occur between different parts of the world very readily. It is believed by many Australians that, as a consequence of this rapid technological development, Americanisms have infiltrated the nation’s language. Many Australians are apprehensive about a loss of national identity that could result from this invasion of their lexicon. These individuals are perhaps concerned that American English may eventually become the most prevalent English spoken in Australia; concerned that the values instilled in Australian English may eventually be completely subsumed by those associated with American English. Maybe some concrete examples of what makes them fear this "American invasion"? Despite these fears, very few Americanisms have integrated into Australian English, and those that have include only a select few lexical items, including “buddy”. The likelihood that a few lexical items from American English could completely destroy the Australian identity is very unlikely. The apprehension of Australian speakers towards Americanisms is unfoundedI do feel as if you need a bit more content in this paragraph; one example is really not enough. Try and find a concrete example where people are worried about the replacement of the Australian identity?, and even if dramatic changes were to occur in the future, this is not necessarily a bad thing. English, after all, is the result of the mixture of a number of different European languages. Incorporation of additional Americanisms into Australian English, perhaps including some syntactic features, would merely add an additional layer to the Australian identity. OK, so show this. It seems to me that you've just stated this without proof. I find it entirely possible that incorporation of additional Americanisms, by virtue of America's global dominance, may swallow the Australian identity After all, these Americanisms were accepted by choice; they were not forced upon Australian speakers against their will. Perhaps link to topic?

According to Hugh Lunn, if you lose your language, “you lose your personality, your character and who you are.” Ethnolects allow those who migrate into Australia from non-English speaking backgrounds to preserve the cultural values of their previous country. and thus their identity? This widespread presence of a variety of different ethnolects in Australia is indicative of the nation’s multiculturalism. In addition, migrants from foreign countries may also preserve their cultural heritage through the use of some unique paralinguistic features. Valid point, but it may be stronger if you focused on actual linguistic features Despite this, it often hinders assimilation into the Australian culture. Migrants from Asia tend to make minimal eye contact during conversations, given that in most Asian nations it is considered polite. However, the opposite is true in most Western nations. The use of such a paralinguistic feature by an Asian migrant may be affronting to an Australian, and may result in the perpetuation of unjust prejudices, such as that “Asian people cannot be trusted”. Therefore, while the use of ethnolects I wouldn't consider paralinguistic features as part of an ethnolect...and you really need some more concrete examples now and other features derived from a migrant’s original language may allow the preservation of culture, it may also hinder assimilation into Australian society. I also don't understand the significance of "assimilation into Australian society". Australia is supposedly a multicultural country; does everyone need to be the same?

The Australian accent has undergone dramatic changes since colonisation of Australia by the British. Initially, Australian English was simply a mongrel of many different British dialects. Soon after, these Australians distinguished their identity from that of the British by constructing their own distinctive language. The cultivated accent was used by the socially elite to demonstrate their power in society and command respect from others. This point directly contradicts your previous point; the cultivated accent was created in order to imitate the British accent as closely as possible for prestige; wasn't really distinctive, and if the social elite do this...However, in modern Australia, there has been a trend away from the cultivated accent. The current attitudes and beliefs of Australian speakers do not meld with the arrogance exuded by the cultivated accent, and according to linguist Kate Burridge, “one often encounters hostile or amused reactions to the cultivated accent.” As a result, the prevalence of the general accent, which combines the egalitarianism and friendliness instilled in the broad accent with the high levels of education indicated by the cultivated accent, has increased. Nevertheless, Australia’s speakers remain linguistically diverse, with geographical location a main determinant of the accent used. Individuals living in rural areas are far more likely to adopt a broad accent, not quite true; a study done in rural areas show that even there, the general accent is more common; sure, you may find more broad speakers in rural areas than in urban areas which is perhaps correlated with the lower levels of education received by most rurally-located individuals be VERY careful when making such stereotypes and generalisations. If you meet a marker from a rural area, you will be marked down for this, I guarantee. I've lost debates by making such arguments. Also, the Broad accent is just a cultural way of life; I'd hardly call it a result of poor education. Do you call speakers of Aboriginal English "stupid" because they don't speak Standard English in a general accent?. In addition, there is continued borrowing of lexical items from Indigenous languages. “Hard yakka” is a distinctively Australian phrase originally derived in such a manner. I don't see where this fits in...it seems too artificial. New paragraph for this? Also not particularly good practice to end a paragraph with an example without explaining its significance

The Australian identity is represented in the English used by its citizens. The introduction of Americanisms into Australian English, which has resulted from rapid technological development in recent decades, has elicited great apprehension from many of these citizens. Nevertheless, currently, the Americanisms evident in the language of Australians are purely lexical "bro" could be seen as morphological. The multiculturalism of Australia is enhanced by the presence of a wide range of different ethnolects. These ethnolects you haven't really mentioned ethnolects; rather, you've spoken about paralinguistics, which aren't unique to any given ethnolect, among other linguistic features, allow migrants to maintain the cultural identity of their previous country, but at times may hinder their assimilation into Australian society. again, so what? In addition, the accent of Australian speakers has undergone a number of changes since colonisation of the country by the British ok, so accent change...and?, and this is indicative of the predominating attitudes held by society. The Australian identity is powerfully reinforced by the language spoken by its citizens.




OK...I've been harsh as you've asked me to. I feel that some paragraphs, like your ethnolect paragraph, could be strengthened with more examples. English Language essays, in my mind, are 50% examples and 50% commentary. So far you've done, as you've realised, a lot of story-telling without too much actual informing. With the ethnolects, you really need language examples; paralinguistic features probably aren't the best to talk about, and it doesn't help that you've only mentioned one either. With Americanisation, it would be stronger, I think, if you included more examples of Americanisation that would actually demonstrate the diluting of the Australian identity that some people, you mention, are worried about.
I'm also not too sure about your paragraph on distancing from Britain. That was more stuff in the 20th century; the topic says 21st. It's a bit off-topic.
Also be careful of stereotyping. I'll reiterate, hedge if necessary, but never make assumptions about an entire race or country. I've done that before; it doesn't get you good grades from experience.

Hope my (admittedly) harsh criticism is of some use. Please don't take this personally :D
Title: Re: One of my own (admittedly rather poor) essays
Post by: lzxnl on October 11, 2013, 05:34:04 pm
Just a few quick suggestions:

- You quote people, mention their names but fail to explain why they're important.
"This is also reflected by Richard Castle’s comment that “through its culturally ingrained connotations of egalitarianism and mutual respect, ‘mate’ suggests an openness, at least a relationship of equal”"
"This is also reflected by Bobby McKFCmcdonaldshungryjacks’s comment that “through its culturally ingrained connotations of egalitarianism and mutual respect, ‘mate’ suggests an openness, at least a relationship of equal”"
There's not much point mentioning the name of your source of quote if you don't state whether they are a linguist, someone in the media, an author, a publisher or someone whose perceptions are even important in the literary world.

- Don't use colloquialisms and slang in your essay. Keep it in a highly formal register
- You list many examples yet they aren't effective if you don't explain them more -- try and link them back to attitudes and the functions of their existence
- Try and quickly slip in what word process is used in your examples (such as "the diminutive form of Robert, "Robbo")

I take your first two points; I've gotten a bit of that lately.
As for your third point, I suppose sometimes I do end up being too summative.
But I'm afraid I have to disagree on the example of the diminutive. I mentioned diminutives at the start of the second paragraph and I thought the implication was that I would be discussing diminutives. Of course, if you mean I have to make a stronger link within the paragraph, I'll look into that. It's just that repeating "diminutive" when the term appeared at the start of the paragraph as a general overview seems superfluous to me. Just my opinion.
Although yes, my metalanguage usage in general isn't great; need to work on that area.

[edit]
Righty-o. I have just finished reading your second essay and have a few things to add.
You had me stumped for a few good minutes here. Please don't use such jokes in a formal essay-- if the examiner can't understand what you're writing then they'll just skip to the next comprehensible part. If you really want to integrate it in then I suggest you somehow formulate it in brackets or present it so that your joke is clearer. Something along the lines of "meaning “Thank God it’s Friday”, incydk, or "in case you didn’t know"". Eh.
Another thing I must suggest is that you place brackets after each of your examples to translate it. For example, ""u" (you), "thx" (thanks)" is much more clearer than your clunky "“u” for “you”, “thx” for “thanks”" while also saving words. No one wants to read half a paragraph of examples with no substance to back it up.

Sorry if I seem very critical of your work-- what you've done is great but there is never perfection in English. I'll put some of my stuff up after which you can point as many fingers at as you can.

I'm perfectly fine with criticism; I posted these essays up expecting that, actually, and giving me more is just what I want, so no need to apologise (:

Thanks for the comments everyone!
Title: Re: English Language submission and marking
Post by: Wu on October 11, 2013, 05:50:15 pm
Unit 4 AOS 2 SAC 1
Spoiler
Australian English is made up of many different varieties. Discuss the range of variations within Australian English and the different attitudes people have towards them.

The non-standard varieties as well as Standard Australian English makes up Australian English – the means of communication in Australia. The diversity of these varieties is only natural as it reflects the myriad of ethnicities, cultures and faiths practiced within the country. Attitudes towards these linguistic variations will not detract the validity of the languages themselves.

Although Standard Australian English is regarded as the benchmark of language usage in Australia, it does not mean that it is superior than other non-standard varieties. Standard Australian English (SAE) is the common language, the national variety, of Australia and is used in the government, media, courts and education. Its role is to simply act as the codified norm in dictionaries, grammar books and be the standard for spelling and grammar. SAE follows British English spelling, including ‘o’ after ‘u’ such as in ‘colour’ as Australia was colonised by Britain and indeed, as linguist Bruce Moore states, “language is a bearer of history”. Therefore, Australian English retains influence of British English in its language varieties. Diminutives, the shortening and suffixation of –ie/-y/-o, is a characteristic unique to Australian English with examples being “Aussie”, Australia, and “muso”, musician. This feature reflects affability and friendliness which Australians identify with because the diminutive form of words used in Australian English indicates linguistic creativity and the playful casualness of Australians. Standard Australian English is perceived as the standard of language use due to being enforced in education. The Australian Curriculum, Assessment and Reporting Authority (ACARA) states that participation in Australian life “depends on effective communication in Standard Australian English”. These prescriptivist attitudes will not affect how language is used as language is constantly evolving and adapting to best suit our communicative needs. Kate Burridge, Monash University linguist, acknowledges that the standard variety has overt prestige as “it is associated with power, education and wealth” which is “highly valued by many people” but the other existing varieties of Australian English are just as valuable as long as messages are able to be conveyed and received by interlocutors. Prestige is not the only requirement for a language to be used.

The existence of migrant ethnolects is an indication of how culturally diverse Australia has become but with it comes the problems which may arise. Ethnolects are not considered as prestigious because it is spoken mainly by migrants or their children whose English has been influenced by their native language. Ethnic identities may be expressed with ethnolects – users may exclude those who are not of the same ethnicity while also lowering the social distance between those in the in-group. Borrowing of lexemes is a feature of ethnolects which supports this purpose. For example, the term ‘habiib’ is used in Lebanese Australian English to greet close friends. Its equivalent in Australian English is ‘mate’ but the multi-cultural variety employs ‘habiib’ instead because it retains its Arabic meaning and values of friendship which is stronger than ‘mate’, thus, strengthening the bond of the group’s users through the similar values and cultural tradition shared when using the term. In this way, their ethnic identity is asserted even amongst a country where the dominant culture is Anglo-Australian. Ethnolects are perceived by some as incorrect English or not upholding the standards of Australian English. Italian migrants end every word with a vowel in their mother tongue; their phonological pronunciation of words are often criticised because of this. For example, in Italian Australian English, ‘football’ would be pronounced as ‘footaballa’. This is parodied or mocked in the media with the movie ‘Wog Boy’ and ‘Acropolis Now’ being evident with this. The different in not just phonology, but lexicon and syntax of ethnolects are changes which have developed over time to Australian English, particularly since the Whitlam government abolished the White Australia policy. Although the cultures co-exist, friction may occur between them and the language variety used may be discriminated as a product of the prejudice against its users.

Aboriginal English is a non-standard variety which “differs from Standard Australian English at every level” according to the Department of Education in Western Australia, in order to express its users’ identity as separate from the values of Anglo-Saxon Australians. This variety is embedded with the values which Aboriginals hold. Including the importance of the group relationship as evident with the reliance of context to infer meaning even when ellipsis occurs and timelessness, as explicated with the lack of past tense marking. Examples of this such as “she tell him to stop them” is perceived as grammatically incorrect when compared to the Standard Australian English, “she told him to stop them”. Language is pertinent to the culture of Aboriginal people; Standard Australian English is considered as “flash language” and any Aboriginal using the standard variety would be deemed as “stuck up” (Eagleston) because of the ethnic groups’ attitudes towards the Anglo-Australian users of that variety. Not using Aboriginal Australian English would mean exclusion from the group. It was not until the 1960s that Aboriginal English was officially recognised as a distinct variety, a dialect, of Australian English in levels of government and in education. Nowadays there are publications regarding Aboriginal English and its use in courts and in schools. By doing so, even the variety’s feature of using ‘bin’ as a marker for a completed action would not be perceived as the distortion of the word ‘been’ – attitudes that regard Aboriginal English as inferior to Standard English is misconceived due to lacking the understanding of the pragmatics and importance of context used in this variety.

Just as Australian author Tim Winton embraces the nation as one that “honours its own stories and accents”, the plethora of Australian English varieties should be celebrated as a reflection of Australia’s current identity as a living, growing nation. The perception towards these varieties will not change the way that communication is being held between Australians nor tarnish the validity of how others express themselves in the wider community. 

By taking a range of examples from the different subsystems of language, discuss how at least one particular group of individuals has constructed their identity. Explain the range of attitudes that arise in response to this constructed identity.
Spoiler
There are two purposes of language – it is used as a platform for communication and a way of dividing people into groups which they do and don’t belong to. This has been executed by individuals to negotiate their identity; how they perceive themselves as well as how they want to be perceived as by others is indicated through their language repertoire which is used to best fit their social needs. People who play online games have their own lingo and jargon to allow for efficient communication with like-minded people as themselves. This group’s identity is clearly defined by their interests while other cliques are formed through other similarities such as age or gender. Though these speech communities implement linguistics in ways which help trademark their image, it may also act as a repellent to those who are not a part of their group. 
Gamers – people who play video games– use language to best accommodate to the instantaneous nature of games where conveying messages to teammates or other players is the biggest priority and the key to winning. To successfully communicate with other players while winning the game, specialised lingo is employed and retains features of spoken texts such as language not being planned, its spontaneity and the omission of words or phrases – all of this occurs due to the environment of the gaming world. Non-standard grammar, syntax and spelling are generally disregarded by these people when playing as it would only hinder the flow of the game. Due to the discourse generally being via e-communication, this group’s language includes features such as abbreviations, acronyms, elision and ellipsis to allow for the quickest way of getting across their message while also limiting the need to type less letters on the keyboard. Their vocabulary includes mainly terms which are relevant to games – jargon such as the initialisms “NPC” (Non-player character), shortening of “OP” (overpowered) and the lexeme “Steam” (an online store where players can purchase games) are such examples. People within the group can quickly understand each other, thus, strengthening the bond between members who have the same refined level of knowledge of the activity. Their language also acts as a way of excluding people who are not part of this group. The pejorative term “noob” or its variation “newb” is used in reference to people who are “new or terrible at a videogame” as defined by Urbandictionary. The use of these lexemes positions members of the in-group as a unit that is superior in their knowledge of the activity. At the same time, the refinement of this group’s speech which maximises the efficiency of game-play may be overwhelming indeed to these “noobs” which would therefore conjure up pejorative attitudes towards the seemingly hostile gaming community whose lingo is exclusive of the out-group. Outsiders whose gaming terminology is not as comprehensive as gamers who are more proficient and see the need for such lingo will not see the value of using such developed speech. Of course, gamer-speak is applied while playing or when discussing about games with fellow players – this type of speech is not used in every day conversations but instead is flexibly used when the player is interacting within a game environment.
Language is manipulated by teenagers to indicate what their views and values are as a group. The speech which this community uses, dubbed as “teenspeak”, includes linguistic features such as swearing and taboo language, creative non-standardisms and slang. Although swearing and taboo is considered as rude and inappropriate in formal contexts, adolescents gain covert prestige amongst their peers as social distance is low and interlocutors are accepting of this profanity as a shared norm. Obscenities are also associated with this generation; the group identifies themselves with rebellion and asserts a difference between themselves and older generations through their language. The slang “YOLO”, an acronym for “you only live once”, demonstrates that youths are constructing themselves as being recklessness and risk taking. This behaviour and the lexemes which exhibit these views are ultimately condemned by those who do not agree with what is being expressed. By straying away from standards of other groups, teenspeak serves to strengthen the community’s own presence - this can be done through the use of slang. Slang is generally short-lived with the intention of being secretive with examples of such including: “ily” (I love you) and “OMG”, an abbreviation for oh my God/goodness. As journalist John Humphries articulates, “the whole point” of teenspeak is to in fact act as the group’s “own language” which acts as a means of excluding outsiders and by doing so, those who attempt to assimilate into the group by mimicking their speech would perceive the in-group as unfriendly and intolerant because they were rejected despite using the group’s lingo. Prescriptivists would also devalue teenspeak as the group’s linguistic creativity with their shorthands, initialisms and acronyms can be perceived as defacing English language.
Even youth subcultures such as young females assert their identity through language which is often mocked in the media. These teenagers deliberately set themselves apart from the rest of their peers by using linguistic features differently from others. Their speech is heavily influenced by popular culture and trends. Feminine teen speak can be identified through the group’s use of High Rising Terminal as it suits the social purpose of inviting feedback which lowers the social distance between interlocutors while also adding a flirtatious element to their speech- this is because HRT phonologically sounds as if the speaker is asking a question. The group generally aligns themselves with fashion, make up, partying and boys – the last factor perhaps being the most influential on their speech. In an attempt to appear clumsy or ditsy in order to gain attention from the opposite gender, people within this speech community use variations of words such as “totes” (totally) and “awks” (awkward). These non-standardisms constructs them as being silly with language which can be regarded as being uneducated by those who do not understand that their language was intentionally manipulated. The use of “whatever” explicates the notion that these girls are flimsy and are apathetic towards things which do not interest them. They are straightforward with things that they do not like – the latest trend of ‘vocal fry’, the vibration of low notes being drawn out, is prominent by this group as they are influenced by celebrities such as Britney Spears and Ke$ha who employs such a feature. For example, by drawing out the vowel sound in “interestaaaaaang”, the girls are attempting to be seductive with their voices while using irony to their boredom. This speech and its users are often subjected to ridicule by the general public as the superficial lifestyle and the direct malice which the girls associate themselves with are not values desired by the dominant culture. Journalist John Hajek from The Age newspaper mimics this speech, “and I was like ‘Oh my god,’ and it’s so like, whatever,” with surprising accuracy to satire the indirectness of their speech which requires context to be understood – a factor that can only be obtained if the speaker was part of the same language clique and not as an outsider who he identifies himself and his readers as.
Indeed, as David Crystal mentions in A Glossary of Netspeak and Textspeak, individuals constantly evolve, adjust and adapt their language to best fit their social needs and “act as a badge of identity” for groups which they identify themselves with. Attitudes which stem from the sorts of language which groups use arise in accordance to whether the individual agrees or disagrees with the values being expressed by the speech community – a natural occurrence as a person either belongs to the group because they do share their beliefs or they don’t belong to it because they differ to what the group stands for.
Title: Re: Can someone have a look at this Eng Lang essay?
Post by: Scooby on October 11, 2013, 06:16:19 pm
Thanks a heap nliu1995!
Title: [ENGLANG] Ways in which language can unify , discriminate or empower
Post by: teletubbies_95 on October 11, 2013, 06:29:33 pm
Hey guys! This is an essay that I did a few weeks ago. Took me an hour or so to do. It was the first time I've done an essay on stuff like discrimination, euphemisms,etc. Please mark really harshly! :) Thanks so much , for taking time to read this. And my typing skills arent that great ,so just let me know if ive spelt anything wrong!

Discuss the ways in which can be used to unify , empower or discriminate . Refer to two subsystems.
Through fabricating different language choices , members of a society can use language to their advantage for various purpose in certain contexts. Speakers’ within a group can signify their belonging , as well as manipulate language  in public. Increasingly language is employed to create social boundaries between sub-groups of speakers, based on a factors such as  race and gender.

Features from ethno-cultural varieties and in particular domains in Australia are employed to “unify” speakers’. Covertly prestigious, etnolects, are used to add “flavour “ to the everyday discourse of Australians. However , they have a large impact on speakers’ who regularly converse in the variety; it signifies their membership to their ethnic group[. For instance in Chinese –Australian English ( ChiAE) speakers’ phonemically substitute the voiceless dental /th/ with voiceless fricative /s/, Thus, lexemes like “think” are pronounced as “fink”. Similarly , in Japanese –Australian English , speakers enunciate the /l/ phoneme. Thus , lexemes such as “really are mispronounced as “rearry”. Although prescriptivists might perceive these mispronunciations as showing the speakers’ lack of education, they are pertinent in signifying their roots with their motherland.  On the other hand,  within the ethnic group , these mispronunciations are accepted as they understand that these are occurring because of the absence of some phonemes in their mother tongue. This , in turn , enhances the in-group solidarity within an ethnic group. Just as members of an ethnic community use certain linguistic features to build group solidarity , Australian English assists its’ speakers to do the same. Within the scope of Australian English , linguistic features can be used to establish social rapport within certain domains. Particularly in the domain of sport , there is a certain level of covert prestige associated with the language employed . For instance , in the 2013 Premiership for the Australian Football League(AFL) , certain linguistic features were used to build informality and build rapport . Commentators , as well as players labelled Hawthorn player , Jarrod Roughhead , as “Roughie”. The use of diminutive , with a inflectional bound morpheme “-ie” added . Also, they elongated monophthongs at the end of phonemes , such as “Freo” . These features typically present in the domain of sport in Australia are used to unite speakers ' who are interested in sport, particularly AFL .  Thus, language within subgroups of Australia, with both covertly and overtly prestigious varieties , can “unify” speakers.

On the other hand , language can be used manipulate by certain members of society  to empower themselves by disguising the truth. Politicians particularly use there linguistic devices to enhance how they are perceived in the public eye . Politicians can take advantage of euphemisms to put a positive “spin” on a negative concept. This is used by politicians to conceal deeds that provoke an undesired response from the public. Liberal Minister, Malcomn Turnball , use the lexeme  “anachronistic spatial determinism “ in November 2012 to describe the notion of not planning cities on what the old ideas of what a family is . This is a weasel word, used to obfuscate the Australian public , by using nominalised , formal lexemes. It also makes Turnbull seem more “knowledgeable “  and “empowers” him in the public eye, contributed by the highly dense lexical item he employs. Furthermore, John Howard , substituted “ electrical fences” with “ energised fences” . This is because “electrical” has negative connotations associated with “harm” , whereas “energised “ has more positive connotations associated with being “lively”. Kate Burridge clearly demonstrates this by describing euphemisms as a “linguistic escape hatch” in which politicians can escape “ or “obfuscate “ reality , to empower themselves. Similarly , advertisers use language to maintain power over prospective customers. In cosmetic products , advertisers use  highly dense lexical items in the form of jargon , such as “ comedogenic “ . This lexeme means that the product will  clog up skin pores. From the point of view of a customer, who has minimal knowledge about cosmetics , might perceive the use of this lexeme as positively connotated ,  due to the high lexical density. However  , the company is attempting to mislead the customer , so they can buy their product. Consequently , language can be exploited by politicians and companies at their own advantage to establish power and authority.

Language can be used to “discriminate” against sub-groups in contemporary Australian society . Social differences are purposefully created in society , largely by targeting a part of one’s personal identity, including race and gender. Gender discrimination still prevails in Australian society. For instance , in September 2013, Labour Minister , Phillip Goff mocked a fellow parliament member for being “beaten on three occasions, each time by a women” . In this comment, Hoff discriminates women , and assumes that women , according to societal norms, are to “weak”  to physically hurt men. The comment was bound to much media attention , due to its discriminatory nature. Similarly , Andrew Bolt’s comment about Indigenous Australians sparked much media attention . He stated that “She [a white Indigenous female] choose her Aboriginal identity as it had a political and social clout” . Bolt discriminates the ethnicity of the female , by differentiating between the rights of being Indigenous  and being “ non-Indigenous, and consequently asserting that Indigenous  people have more rights. Racist language is not only prevalent in spoken language, but also written language. For instance , in October 2013, suburbs in Sydney had graffiti painted , saying “ Asians out of here” and “Muslims out”. This labelling of cultural and religious groups in contemporary Australians creates social divisions and lack of unity between what essentially is an multicultural Australian society. Furthermore , discrimination against sexuality is also prevalent. For instance , in which the National Party candidate stated that “ I would not let a gay person teach my child”. The use of the lexeme “gay” , is associated with negative connotations by society, it portrays homosexual population in a negative light, thus is discriminatory. Moreover, with employing linguistic features they create differences to express their negative attitudes towards a sub-group ,by negatively labelling them. Thus, through employing discriminatory language , barriers are created according to one’s gender , sexuality and race.

Thus , language can be used positively and negatively for a variety of purposes. In some cases , it can be used to foster in group solidarity within the ethnic and Australian communities , while in others , it can be used manipulatively to empower public or to offend.
Title: Re: English Language submission and marking
Post by: lzxnl on October 11, 2013, 06:30:18 pm
I'll look at one for now; maybe the second one when I get some time later on.


Australian English is made up of many different varieties. Discuss the range of variations within Australian English and the different attitudes people have towards them.

The non-standard varieties as well as Standard Australian English makes up Australian English – the means of communication in Australia. The diversity of these varieties is only natural as it reflects the myriad of ethnicities, cultures and faiths practiced within the country. Attitudes towards these linguistic variations will not detract the validity of the languages themselves.I get the feeling the intro isn't particularly strong

Although Standard Australian English is regarded as the benchmark of language usage in Australia, it does not mean that it is superior than superior to? other non-standard varieties. Standard Australian English (SAE) is the common language, the national variety, of Australia and is used in the government, media, courts and education. Its role is to simply act is that its only function? as the codified norm in dictionaries, grammar books and be the standard for spelling and grammar. SAE follows British English spelling, including ‘o’ after ‘u’ such as in ‘colour’ as Australia was colonised by Britain and indeed, as linguist Bruce Moore states, “language is a bearer of history”. Therefore, Australian English retains influence of British English in its language varieties. Diminutives, the shortening and suffixation of –ie/-y/-o, is a characteristic unique to Australian English with examples being “Aussie”, Australia, and “muso”, musician. I'm getting lost here...you were talking about Standard English only moments before..perhaps your topic sentence isn't clear? This feature reflects affability and friendliness which Australians identify with because the diminutive form of words used in Australian English indicates linguistic creativity and the playful casualness of Australians. Standard Australian English is perceived as the standard of language use due to being enforced in education. So...why is this bit on non-Standard English sandwiched here? I'm really confused... The Australian Curriculum, Assessment and Reporting Authority (ACARA) states that participation in Australian life “depends on effective communication in Standard Australian English”. These prescriptivist attitudes will not affect how language is used as language is constantly evolving and adapting to best suit our communicative needs. Kate Burridge, Monash University linguist, acknowledges that the standard variety has overt prestige as “it is associated with power, education and wealth” which is “highly valued by many people” but the other existing varieties of Australian English are just as valuable as long as messages are able to be conveyed and received by interlocutors. Prestige is not the only requirement for a language to be used. Ok, now I sort of get the point of your paragraph. I think your point would be better communicated if you split this paragraph into two; one with overt, one with covert prestige. It's a major point

The existence of migrant ethnolects is an indication of how culturally diverse Australia has become but with it comes the problems which may arise. Ethnolects are not considered as prestigious because it is spoken mainly by migrants or their children whose English has been influenced by their native language. And because it's non-Standard, because people think they can't speak English?Ethnic identities may be expressed with ethnolects – users may exclude those who are not of the same ethnicity while also lowering the social distance between those in the in-group. Borrowing of lexemes is a feature of ethnolects which supports this purpose. For example, the term ‘habiib’ is used in Lebanese Australian English to greet close friends. I've heard this example was overused last year Its equivalent in Australian English is ‘mate’ but the multi-cultural variety employs ‘habiib’ instead because it retains its Arabic meaning and values of friendship which is stronger than ‘mate’, thus, strengthening the bond of the group’s users through the similar values and cultural tradition shared when using the term. Perhaps a second example to illustrate your point more thoroughly? In this way, their ethnic identity is asserted even amongst a country where the dominant culture is Anglo-Australian. Ethnolects are perceived by some as incorrect English or not upholding the standards of Australian English. Italian migrants end every word with a vowel in their mother tongue; their phonological pronunciation of words are often criticised because of this. For example, in Italian Australian English, ‘football’ would be pronounced as ‘footaballa’. This is parodied or mocked in the media with the movie ‘Wog Boy’ and ‘Acropolis Now’ being evident with this. The different in not just phonology, but lexicon and syntax of ethnolects are changes which have developed over time to Australian English, particularly since the Whitlam government abolished the White Australia policy. Although the cultures co-exist, friction may occur between them and the language variety used may be discriminated as a product of the prejudice against its users. Link to topic; I'm getting lost again

Aboriginal English is a non-standard variety which “differs from Standard Australian English at every level” according to the Department of Education in Western Australia, in order to express its users’ identity as separate from the values of Anglo-Saxon Australians. Surely not JUST Anglo-Saxon Australians? This variety is embedded with the values which Aboriginals hold. Perhaps explaining why might slightly strengthen your pointIncluding the importance of the group relationship as evident with the reliance of context to infer meaning even when ellipsis occurs and timelessness, as explicated with the lack of past tense marking. Was there a main clause in that sentence? Examples of this such as “she tell him to stop them” is perceived as grammatically incorrect when compared to the Standard Australian English, “she told him to stop them”. Around here I felt the need to re-read your work a few times to see your point; your point is valid, but sometimes I get lost trying to find it. Again, maybe it's just me. Language is pertinent to the culture of Aboriginal people; Standard Australian English is considered as “flash language” and any Aboriginal using the standard variety would be deemed as “stuck up” (Eagleston) because of the ethnic groups’ attitudes towards the Anglo-Australian users of that variety. Not using Aboriginal Australian English would mean exclusion from the group. Evidence? It was not until the 1960s that Aboriginal English was officially recognised as a distinct variety, a dialect, of Australian English in levels of government and in education. Nowadays there are publications regarding Aboriginal English and its use in courts and in schools. By doing so, even the variety’s feature of using ‘bin’ as a marker for a completed action would not be perceived as the distortion of the word ‘been’ – attitudes that regard Aboriginal English as inferior to Standard English is misconceived due to lacking the understanding of the pragmatics and importance of context used in this variety. I think you could have mentioned the changing attitudes towards Aboriginal English due to its growing acceptance now

Just as Australian author Tim Winton embraces the nation as one that “honours its own stories and accents”, the plethora of Australian English varieties should be celebrated as a reflection of Australia’s current identity as a living, growing nation. Multicultural and some word meaning diversity would fit with your paragraph choices here The perception towards these varieties will not change the way that communication is being held between Australians nor tarnish the validity of how others express themselves in the wider community. I don't feel as if you've made this point very clearly throughout the essay



Overall, I like your intention in your commentary. However, sometimes your expression is a little unclear and I personally found it difficult to find your point at times. Also, I felt as if you didn't link to the topic at times. I repeatedly failed to see the point you tried to make at the end of each paragraph. As another tip, I think you've done the opposite of me; you've tried to go for commentary at the expense of examples, while I've done the opposite. Examples represent evidence in this course; they really are necessary, as English Language a study of the language and only actual linguistic evidence will support what you say. It's like science; it doesn't matter how convincing your theory is, if it isn't supported by experimental evidence, it's not going to be as accepted as a theory that makes no sense but explains a lot of experimental evidence.

Just a few of my tips and thoughts here, some of them may well be wrong xP
Title: Re: [ENGLANG] Ways in which language can unify , discriminate or empower
Post by: Wu on October 11, 2013, 06:39:28 pm
Just a tip - don't use quotation marks if you're not quoting anything. You do it especially when you're using colloquial terms in order to try and justify its informal nature.

“unify”
add “flavour “
positive “spin”
Title: Re: English Language submission and marking
Post by: Wu on October 11, 2013, 06:46:01 pm
Overall, I like your intention in your commentary. However, sometimes your expression is a little unclear and I personally found it difficult to find your point at times. Also, I felt as if you didn't link to the topic at times. I repeatedly failed to see the point you tried to make at the end of each paragraph. As another tip, I think you've done the opposite of me; you've tried to go for commentary at the expense of examples, while I've done the opposite. Examples represent evidence in this course; they really are necessary, as English Language a study of the language and only actual linguistic evidence will support what you say. It's like science; it doesn't matter how convincing your theory is, if it isn't supported by experimental evidence, it's not going to be as accepted as a theory that makes no sense but explains a lot of experimental evidence.

Just a few of my tips and thoughts here, some of them may well be wrong xP

The teachers kept on insisting that we had to be contentious and talk about attitudes so I tried shoving as much damn attitudes as I explicitly could, haha. Oh well. I agree that my expression is clunky - it's funny because my lit teacher tells me that I need to improve yet all three of my school's English Language teachers say that my expression is good.
We've both got stuff to work on which is great - here's to hoping for some visible improvement. I'll try and chug out another essay this weekend.
Title: Re: [ENGLANG] Ways in which language can unify , discriminate or empower
Post by: teletubbies_95 on October 11, 2013, 06:46:02 pm
Ahk ! :) I'll keep that in mind next time.

Thanks so much! :)
Title: Re: [ENGLANG] Ways in which language can unify , discriminate or empower
Post by: lzxnl on October 11, 2013, 07:10:09 pm
Discuss the ways in which can be used to unify , empower or discriminate . Refer to two subsystems.
Through fabricating different language choices , members of a society can use language to their advantage for various purpose in certain contexts. Speakers’ within a group can signify their belonging , as well as manipulate language  in public. Increasingly comma needed here language is employed to create social boundaries between sub-groups of speakers, based on a factors such as  race and gender. Contention?

Features from ethno-cultural varieties and in particular domains in Australia are employed to “unify” speakers’. Covertly prestigious, ethnolects, are used to add “flavour “ to the everyday discourse of Australians. However , they have a large impact on speakers’  don't misuse the apostrophe like this again...please... who regularly converse in the variety; it signifies their membership to their ethnic group[. For instance in Chinese –Australian English ( ChiAE) speakers’ phonemically substitute the voiceless dental /th/ with voiceless fricative /s/, Thus, lexemes like “think” are pronounced as “fink” voiceless fricative "s"? I don't see an s there...might be useful to point out the reason for these phonological differences, like how Chinese actually lacks the th sound. Similarly , in Japanese –Australian English , speakers enunciate the /l/ phoneme. Thus , lexemes such as “really are mispronounced mispronounced...is a dangerous word to use... as “rearry”. Although prescriptivists might perceive these mispronunciations as showing the speakers’ lack of education, they are pertinent in signifying their roots with their motherland.  On the other hand,  within the ethnic group , these mispronunciations are accepted as they understand that these are occurring because of the absence of some phonemes in their mother tongue. This , in turn , enhances the in-group solidarity within an ethnic group. Just as members of an ethnic community use certain linguistic features to build group solidarity , Australian English assists its’ APOSTROPHE! speakers to do the same. Expand on ethnolects and make this a new paragraph, perhaps. Within the scope of Australian English , linguistic features can be used to establish social rapport within certain domains. Particularly in the domain of sport , there is a certain level of covert prestige associated with the language employed . For instance , in the 2013 Premiership for the Australian Football League(AFL) , certain linguistic features were used to build informality I prefer "reduce social distance" and build rapport . Commentators , as well as players labelled Hawthorn player , Jarrod Roughhead , as “Roughie”. The use of diminutive , with a inflectional bound morpheme “-ie” added . Also, they elongated monophthongs at the end of phonemes , such as “Freo” . These features typically present in the domain of sport in Australia are used to unite speakers ' who are interested in sport, particularly AFL .Bit bland  Thus, language within subgroups of Australia, with both covertly and overtly prestigious varieties , can “unify” speakers.

On the other hand , language can be used manipulate by certain members of society  to empower themselves by disguising the truth. I think it's more to alter public perceptions of them and to hide wrongdoing Politicians particularly use there please check the spelling linguistic devices to enhance how they are perceived in the public eye .Enhance public perceptions? Politicians can take advantage of euphemisms to put a positive “spin” on a negative concept. Connotations; examiners love metalanguage This is used by politicians to conceal deeds that provoke an undesired response from the public. Liberal Minister, Malcomn Turnball , use the lexeme  “anachronistic spatial determinism “ in November 2012 to describe the notion of not planning cities on what the old ideas of what a family is . This is a weasel word, used to obfuscate the Australian public , by using nominalised , formal lexemes. I personally see it as being a weasel word because it's meaningless in the eyes of the publicIt also makes Turnbull seem more “knowledgeable “  and “empowers” him in the public eye, contributed by the highly dense lexical item he employs. Furthermore, John Howard , substituted “ electrical fences” with “ energised fences” . This is because “electrical” has negative connotations associated with “harm” , whereas “energised “ has more positive connotations associated with being “lively”. Kate Burridge clearly demonstrates this by describing euphemisms as a “linguistic escape hatch” in which politicians can escape “ or “obfuscate “ reality , to empower themselves. Similarly , advertisers use language to maintain power manipulate the message? over prospective customers. In cosmetic products , advertisers use  highly dense lexical items in the form of jargon , such as “ comedogenic “ . This lexeme means that the product will  clog up skin pores. From the point of view of a customer, who has minimal knowledge about cosmetics , might perceive the use of this lexeme as positively connotated ,  due to the high lexical density. However  , the company is attempting to mislead the customer , so they can buy their product. Consequently , language can be exploited by politicians and companies at their own advantage to establish power and authority. Again, I doubt it's to establish authority; they're the ones making the statements, how much more authority can they have? I still think it's about twisting messages

Language can be used to “discriminate” against sub-groups in contemporary Australian society . Social differences are purposefully created in society , largely by targeting a part of one’s personal identity, including race and gender. Gender discrimination still prevails in Australian society. For instance , in September 2013, Labour Minister , Phillip Goff mocked a fellow parliament member for being “beaten on three occasions, each time by a women” . In this comment, Hoff discriminates women , and assumes that women , according to societal norms, are to spelling!!! “weak”  to physically hurt men. The comment was bound to attract? much media attention , due to its discriminatory nature. Weak; explain that the comment attracted negative attention and then why. Similarly , Andrew Bolt’s comment about Indigenous Australians sparked much media attention . He stated that “She [a white Indigenous female] choose her Aboriginal identity as it had a political and social clout” . Bolt discriminates the ethnicity of the female , by differentiating between the rights of being Indigenous  and being “ non-Indigenous, and consequently asserting that Indigenous  people have more rights. Elaborate further Racist language is not only prevalent in spoken language, but also written language. For instance , in October 2013, suburbs in Sydney had graffiti painted , saying “ Asians out of here” and “Muslims out”. This labelling of cultural and religious groups in contemporary Australians creates social divisions and lack of unity between what essentially is an multicultural Australian society. That's not even the point; it's the fact that the graffiti is directly asking them to leave the country and that they're unwelcome here. Furthermore , discrimination against sexuality is also prevalent. For instance , in which the National Party candidate stated that “ I would not let a gay person teach my child”. The use of the lexeme “gay” , is associated with negative connotations by society, it portrays homosexual population in a negative light, thus is discriminatory. Again you fail to see the point; it's the fact that the person dislikes homosexuals based upon their sexuality Moreover, with employing linguistic features they create differences to express their negative attitudes towards a sub-group ,by negatively labelling them. Thus, through employing discriminatory language , barriers are created according to one’s gender , sexuality and race. Too broad; you really needed to pick out one or two types of discrimination and hammer them home

Thus , language can be used positively and negatively for a variety of purposes. In some cases , it can be used to foster in group solidarity within the ethnic and Australian communities , while in others , it can be used manipulatively to empower public or to offend. Conclusion is really weak...make a stronger point


OK, the main issues with this essay, I think, are the following.
Firstly, you miss the main points sometimes in your analysis of euphemism and doublespeak in my opinion. Secondly, I feel as if your introduction and conclusion were too short; do not neglect them! Thirdly, spelling and punctuation...please don't do this in the exam...assume all exam assessors are prescriptivists :D
Fourthly, your paragraph on discriminatory language was too broad; I would probably use the material in that paragraph for at least half an essay, if not more. Pick out some areas of discrimination and go into detail. My teacher has always told me that detail is important; here, you have too many examples.

Don't ask me for a mark; I don't know how to give numbers to these things :P
Title: Re: [ENGLANG] Ways in which language can unify , discriminate or empower
Post by: teletubbies_95 on October 11, 2013, 07:22:45 pm
Hey!
Thanks so much for those really detailed comments!
Yeh...I felt I that last 2 paras , I wasn't confident enough talking about it, because I wasn't sure if I was doing it right. And just listing examples, as you said. It was actually the first time I was doing a paragraph on those topics . So bad :(
AND OMG MY SPELLING. as you can see is atrocious , even worse when I'm typing.

THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH !!!! :))) I really appreciate it!
Title: Re: [ENGLANG] Ways in which language can unify , discriminate or empower
Post by: lzxnl on October 11, 2013, 07:25:23 pm
Don't worry about it; I've had horrible first essays too, and it often takes me several hours to write them, with the net result that I fail to form much of a coherent argument in my essay because I don't know what is going on :P

You have some idea of how this topic works now; sit down, think about it, and I'm sure you'll make sense of it (:
Title: Re: [Eng Lang] Essay: "Contemporary Australian English is losing its identity."
Post by: barydos on October 12, 2013, 10:11:33 am
...
...

Thanks so much for the feedback both of you! I really appreciate it.
I'll try and put these into good use and maybe post up another essay in the near future haha :)
Title: Re: [Eng Lang] Essay: "Contemporary Australian English is losing its identity."
Post by: thushan on October 12, 2013, 11:54:02 am
Australian English (AE) is a major variety of the English language used in contemporary Australian society, and as a result it has an important role in representing the country on the global stage. Consequently, there has been scrutiny directed toward what AE has become and it has been suggested that AE is losing its identity due to some of the changes it has undergone. On the contrary, AE is merely evolving to fit into a society that is becoming increasingly global, while still retaining Australian values embodied in the language. There has been a distinct shift toward General AE, an increasing influence of American culture, and an influx of first generation Australians along with their respective ethnolects. Despite these changes, the values ingrained in the Australian identity have certainly not been lost.

There is a clear trend where Australians are moving toward a more General AE in an effort to become more intelligible in an increasingly globalised world. Is this the purpose of shifting towards GAE? Conversely, there has been an decline in the Broad and Cultivated varieties of AE. Speakers of the Broad AE accent are known for a usage of slang such as “strewth”, “crikey”, “stone the crow” and “dinky-di” You need to make it clear what you are talking about when you refer to Broad; are you talking about it in terms of a language variety, or the accent? This is quite a tenuous issue, and you need to navigate it thoroughly and clearly. These non-standard lexemes are expressions which convey surprise or shock while the latter translates to ‘speaking the truth’ Unclear. Which refers to telling the truth?. However, to a non-Australian these may sound nonsensical. Because globalisation is becoming more and more significant in contemporary society, the language of choice needs to accommodate a larger audience, and as such, a move away from Broad AE aids this purpose Potentially, by effect. But is this really the reason why there's a shift away from BAE?. While non-standard lexis such as this does depict culture well, that does not mean that the decline of this often unintelligible (is it unintelligible? or is it just not so easily understood by individuals who are not familiar with the variety) Broad variety indicates a loss of identity. In fact, these vernacular expressions are instead being replaced by alternative, more contemporary phrases such as “no worries”, “take it easy” and “fair enough”, which not only convey Australia’s egalitarian and friendly nature, but is also easier to understand. On the opposite end of the spectrum sits the Cultivated AE, which has slowly diminished as ties with the British Empire waned in the past century. This dissociation portrays a stronger sense of national identity independent of the British influence, and so the overall shift toward the General middle ground variety of AE has refined the identity of Australia.



The influence of American culture is becoming more apparent and it is contended by some that the process of ‘Americanisation’ is diluting the identity of AE. While AE has certainly adopted some American terms and phrases, these are all selectively accepted as more appropriate and effective options to any out-dated (outdated? sounds a little pejorative) phrases of Australian English. This fussy nature of choosing evidences that Australians remain aware and proud of the colourful expressions of Australian English, but are self-conscious about the image they want to convey to the rest of the world (is this conscious?. Some lexical items adopted into the AE lexicon include ‘dude’, ‘gotten’ and ‘wicked’, yet these additions do not necessarily indicate a step-down of the Australian identity. In fact, as they become more and more popular in society, these terms often culminate into something with an Australian twist (please use formal register). Australian bodybuilder and Internet celebrity, Aziz “Zyzz” Shavershian, popularised ‘brah’, an Australianised construction of the lexeme, ‘bro’. This diphthong sound, /oʊ/, in the latter is reduced to the weaker monophthong, /a/. Good! This phonological reduction reflects the informal and casual nature of the Australian identity. Its prevalence in the vocabulary of the youth is so great, that it has been seen as a contemporary replacement of the typically Australian lexeme, ‘mate’. Despite having a different appearance, this substitute carries the same underlying semantics as ‘mate’, and that is mateship (formal register please), a core ingredient in the Australian national identity. New words and phrases will always be implemented to express the views of Australia and so there is no reason to believe that AE of today is losing its identity.

The inflow of ethnolects in contemporary Australian society is another concern for prescriptivists who believe AE is losing its identity. However, the use of non-standard lexemes in these ethnolects actually reflects the cultural diversity that is valued by Australians. Good. As the migrant population has increased substantially in the past decade, it has become more common for first generation Australians to speak in their respective ethno-cultural variety of English. Among many of the youth of Samoan background, there is the popular use of “sole” (“sɒ-lɛ”) which is the Samoan equivalent of ‘mate’. Arab teenagers are often seen using the phrase ‘Wallah’, which translates to ‘swear to God’ or literally “promise by God”. The semantic field of ‘food’ also offers some lexical items such as ‘enchilada’ (Mexican), ‘laksa’ (Malaysian) and ‘ramen’ (Japanese). These borrowings have become a norm in AE today, and one might argue that it is therefore losing its identity due to the influence of foreign lexemes slipping into the lexicon. On the contrary, one of the qualities Australians bear is the willingness to accept other cultures. According to the Department of Immigration, “Australia’s multicultural policy embraces our shared values and cultural traditions.” The song “We are Australian” is a perfect portrayal of this sentiment. The line “We are one, but we are many” refers to Australia being made up of various different cultures united as one. Even with borrowings and influences from other cultures, AE has not lost its identity. This diverse society only highlights Australia’s shift to a more global-centric community.

AE will continually grow and develop in different ways to accommodate for the constantly-changing society. Despite evolving to appear as if old Australian traditions have been lost, the values of the Australian identity including egalitarianism, friendliness, informality, mateship and multiculturalism remain perpetuated through contemporary lexemes, typically Australian phonetic reductions and borrowing. Even by adapting and bending, Susan Butler notes that “the end result is still a unique Australian blend”. In other words, in spite of the changes it has undergone, to assert that AE is currently losing its identity could not be further from the truth.


Decently solid. However, I feel that your arguments don't seem to be particularly clear in some areas. BP1 needs work; I don't think you have convinced me of your point. You've explained how GAE can be more understandable, but you haven't proven that that is the reason people shifted towards GAE. More likely the reason for this is because of the developing notion of egalitarianism and the Australian tall poppy syndrome, where talking in a Cultivated accent as ones day to day register is not only unnecessary, but can be looked down upon. The trend towards GAE could be attributed to the shift of people towards urban cities, for instance as more kids from rural backgrounds enter university.

BP2 and BP3 are pretty solid, although again you assume that these changes are conscious. People just start to use American expressions because of influence from American television shows, and people subsequently copy their peers in a subconscious effort to belong in their peer group. It's not to do with being self conscious about how they want to appear to the rest of the world.

Good use of IPA, examiners love that.

Overall, quite decent. 11/15.
Title: Re: [Eng Lang] Essay: "Contemporary Australian English is losing its identity."
Post by: barydos on October 15, 2013, 10:53:27 pm
...

Thank you very much for the detailed feedback, thushan.
I'll try to work on these issues! :D
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: lzxnl on October 16, 2013, 04:24:01 pm
       
"'Your use of language sends out lots of little messages, not just about your level of education and where you come from, but about how you would like to be perceived"

(note: I did this essay topic...it was quite a bit of fun :D)

Our language is the means through which we communicate with one another. However, above and beyond this communicational function, language shapes the way we are perceived. Through idiosyncrasies in the way that we use language you really need a comma here aspects such as educational level, geographic location, socio-economic status and the groups to which we belong may be inferred. Therefore in order to create particular identities, people vary their language at different times and in different contexts to portray characteristics they see as desirable or perhaps appropriate for the occasion?. This is evidenced through the broad to general continuum of Australian accents correlation with education, status and Australian qualities this clause doesn't seem to be grammatically correct, the increased use of ethnolect’s examiners HATE incorrect usage of apostrophes; not needed here in establishing a unique identity and the informal, ephemeral slang and jargon employed by our younger generations. OK, so your contention is? Introductions generally need that one sentence at the end saying the point of their essay
     One of the most striking features of an individual’s speech is their accent. Many Australians, particularly from regional areas are clearly identifiable by striking synonym for striking? phonological features such as drawn out vowels, long single vowels /a:/  IPA (: and the use of diphthongs in place of monophthongs; resulting in words like “mate” sounding like “mite” . Perhaps give individual examples of these features These Broad Australian features comma needed here associated with low education and socio-economic status and here are employed as they portray salient Australian values such as informality and anti-intellectualism this seems like an undesirable trait to be perceived as...perhaps equality and fairness? The implication of anti-intellectualism is a disregard for intellect in general, where your discussion of low status accents merely refers to the desire for everyone to be on the same footing; tall poppy syndrome. No longer is a cultivated accent depicting high education and wealth desirable, with linguists suggesting that people deliberately choose low status accents in order to invoke covert prestige. This was evidenced in John Howard’s success throughout his terms as Prime Minster in using a Broad Australian accent was it really broad? Sounded quite general to me to portray a down-to-earth identity, but interestingly however not reflected in Julia Gillard’s terms as Prime Minister with her Australian accent harshly criticised, ironically, I have seen criticisms of Julia Gillard's acent being too broad at times; be careful with the veracity of your examples suggesting care-free anti-intellectual qualities are not seen as acceptable coming from a female. As well as this I don't really like this phrase; use 'also'? a person will modify the severity of their accent according to the extent to which they wish to assert their identity. For example a person who speaks with a General Australian accent may use some broad features when conversing with Australians with this accent to signpost Australian identity in an attempt to fit in. As seen people are able to portray an identity highlighting low-education, anti-intellectualism and egalitarianism through phonological features of their speech. Last sentence sort of weak. Bring in a stronger example as well; you haven't really explained much. Mention an explicit study or something that shows this, instead of just stating it
      In a similar way, the accent and lexis of multicultural Australia shows how language may be used to convey identity. As immigrants integrate into society and adopt English as a language, most look for ways in which they can accentuate their origins, with many of them doing this through language. One such example is the Italian/Greek/Lebanese communities accent/variety described as “wog-speak”. My teacher doesn't particularly like this phrase; just saying Characterised by pronunciations resulting in words such as “measure” rhyming with the word “bar” IPA here would be quite useful and borrowings from original language for instance “habib” “uleh” and repeated use of lexemes such as “brah” comma!  this variety clearly signposts the geographical origins of the speakers who use it creating group identity? Might be useful to mention. This ethnolect is seen in TV shows such as “Fat Pizza” and is particularly prevalent among youth, with evidence of spread even beyond people with a European background. Indeed through language variations Identity is demonstrated and maintained. so...who in Fat Pizza uses this ethnolect? Is it everyone? If so, mention. As for your "evidence of spread", some proof would be helpful
     One of the most prominent linguistic talking points of contemporary Australia is the slang and jargon characterising the speech of younger generations. Influenced by technology and social media, the lexis of young Australian’s serve to identify its speakers and at the same time exclude speakers who do not use “correct” or “current” terminology I think "Standard English" is the term you're looking for here. Examples of this jargon and slang is seen in the Australian TV series Summer Heights High you are making the assumption that this TV series is an accurate representation of reality, when it's meant to just be a satire. Be slightly mindful of this where Chris Lilley effectively captures the language of a teenage boy using phrases such as “homo” “ranga” “shit” “motherfucker” and a teenage girl using expressions such as “oh my god” “povo” “random” “like” be very careful...jargon is NOT slang. Jargon is a technical variety of language that often fulfills an irreplaceable gap in the language, like for instance a lot of scientific jargon which has no ordinary equivalent. It is also generally (and I say generally, not always) formal. Slang is an informal language variety that is often group-specific, like jargon; changes quickly; is non-Standard and often is non-Standard for the sake of being non-Standard. In this way, it creates covert prestige and group identity. The two are not to be confused and I would suggest writing on these separately. The transient nature of this slang however, has even seen some of these terms become obsolete may be stronger to give linguistic examples of old slang, like "ace", "blood" or "rad" that have largely died out and it is for this very reason that the variety acts as such a successful group marker perhaps finish sentence here; sentence is becoming unwieldy and lacks cohesion as older people who try to pick up the lingo are caught using old phrases and come across as daggy this is a formal essay! or lame they are also seen to be trying too hard and the effort appears strained too. As such comma through slang and jargon comma our younger generations have a functioning system through which they are able to portray an identity as a young person.
     The language we use is a main ingredient of the image which we project into the world around us. As seen through phonological and lexical features of our speech we are able to portray, our level of education, geographical origins and qualities we feel are most important and through the slang and jargon we use the generation to which we belong. Your conclusion feels slightly incomplete; add another sentence? Also the last sentence doesn't quite make sense grammatically


Overall, you have some good ideas, but I feel you need more linguistic examples to better support your work. These examples are the basis for your arguments; without them, how do we know that language really works the way you say it does? Also, be careful of the commas. They are necessary at times for the reader to navigate their way through your essay. Your confusion of jargon and slang would really hurt you in the end of year exam, so be careful of that. Just a few of my tips (:
 
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: sasa on October 17, 2013, 04:22:32 pm
I've done this one!! I actually enjoyed it more than what I probably should have  :P
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: eddybaha on October 27, 2013, 02:46:13 pm
He guys, could i get some feedback on this essay. Be as negative as possible, i really want to improve on my writing. Also if any of you have any contemporary examples for this topic, that would be very helpful. Thanks.
Spoiler
Language is a powerful and emotive communicative tool which can be manipulated to benefit the use and deceive its audience.
Language is unarguably the most powerful communicative tool at our disposal. People use language rhetorically and emotively to elicit a response from the audience. Because of this, language can be conducive to its user. It can be manipulated in many ways as seen in doublespeak, euphemisms, political language and PC language in order to deceive the audience. This gives users of language great power with the ability to use language manipulatively to deceive an audience to benefit themselves. This is seen in politics where politicians and public figures will often use doublespeak, euphemisms and political language to obfuscate the truth and make certain things sound better than they are.  Language is obviously a very powerful tool which can be used to benefit the user.
Euphemisms are replete in modern society especially in the semantic field of warfare with the function of obfuscating the truth. The topic of war causes a furor in society and so euphemisms such as “collateral damage” and “friendly fire” are put in place to soften the impact of the true meanings behind these phrases. The designing of the atomic bomb was referred to as “The Manhattan project” and the two atomic bombs used on Japan were named “Big boy” and “Little Boy”. These euphemisms in no way reflect the devastating outcomes of the impact that they had on Japan. Though American citizens after hearing these terms seemed less concerned and more ignorant towards what was going on. This shows how language can be used to obfuscate and make things sound better than they are as supported by George Orwell’s statement “Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable”
Language can also be manipulated to change the views or persuade an audience to benefit the user. The Australian army will often refer to itself as a “defense force” but refer to the Iraqi army as a “military”. Although the two arms are the same in nature, built for the sole purpose of killing, the positive connotations of the lexical item “defense force” give the Australian army the positive qualities of sacrifice, honor, loyalty and protection. While on the other hand, the Iraqi army is seen as being ruthless and merciless. Often language used to influence thought thrives on the presence of connotative meanings of lexemes. Missile strikes may be referred to as “surgical strikes” as surgery has the positive connotations of fixing, repairing and making something better.  Using language emotively is another technique incorporated by speakers for their own benefit. Advertisements will largely use emotive language to convince an audience to buy their product. Online dating sites will often advertise themselves as “the pathway to finding your soul mate”. They will often use phrases such as “find the one for you” to appeal to the emotions of the audience eliciting an emotional response from them, thus persuading them to use their site. Evidently, language can be used to change the perceptions and behavior of an audience and thus benefit the user.
Sophisticated language and formal language such as jargon and complex sentence constructions are also used in the public domain to conceal the truth. Nominalisations and passive sentences are often prevalent in political language. A sentence such as “A pre-emptive strike was designed to ensure the safety of citizens” is passively constructed to purposely conceal the agent (the military). In doing so, users of language have the ability to deflect responsibility for wrong doings. Sophisticated language such as jargon also is used to obfuscate and conceal the truth. Politicians are often masters at using highly elevated language to confuse their audience in the hope to divert attention from anything that may bring harm to themselves or their political party. This can be seen in media conferences with former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd where he bamboozled the audience with uses of long complex sentences with successive subordinating clauses, nominalizations and jargon. A classic example of Kevin Rudd using overly sophisticated language is his infamous “detailed programmatic specificity” when answering a question on climate change. As seen, language has the power to confuse audiences and hence hide the truth and deflect responsibility.
Obviously language is a powerful tool which can be used to influence the way in which people perceive things. It can also be used to conceal the truth and deflect responsibility for a person’s wrong doings. Language can be used emotively to elicit an emotional response from audiences to benefit the user as well as manipulatively, thriving off positive connotations of lexemes. It can be seen that language is unparalleled in its ability to manipulate an audience and hence benefit the user.


Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: lzxnl on October 27, 2013, 03:33:47 pm
Language is a powerful and emotive communicative tool which can be manipulated to benefit the use and deceive its audience.

Language is unarguably the most powerful communicative tool at our disposal erm...it's pretty much the only tool we have...opening sentence a bit bland?. People use language rhetorically and emotively to elicit a response from the audience. Because of this, language can be conducive to its user the phrasing is slightly awkward here. It can be manipulated in many ways as seen in doublespeak, euphemisms, political language and PC language in order to deceive the audience. This gives users of language great power with the ability to use language manipulatively to deceive an audience to benefit themselves you've repeated your previous sentence. This is seen in politics where politicians and public figures will often use doublespeak, euphemisms and political language politicians will use political language...that's a tautology... to obfuscate the truth and make certain things sound better than they are.  Language is obviously a very powerful tool which can be used to benefit the user. there are two parts to the topic: emotive, and manipulate. You haven't addressed the first part yet
Euphemisms are replete in modern society especially in the semantic field of warfare with the function of obfuscating the truth why do they need to obfuscate the truth? Might be better to put it here. The topic of war causes a furor in society and so euphemisms such as “collateral damage” and “friendly fire” are put in place to soften the impact of the true meanings behind these phrases note; these examples are quite old. They should not form your main examples. The designing of the atomic bomb was referred to as “The Manhattan project” and the two atomic bombs used on Japan were named “Big boy” and “Little Boy” these were from how long ago?. These euphemisms in no way reflect the devastating outcomes of the impact that they had on Japan. Though American citizens after hearing these terms seemed less concerned and more ignorant towards what was going on where is the main clause?. This shows how language can be used to obfuscate and make things sound better than they are as supported by George Orwell’s statement “Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable” generally, in a paragraph you'd want to make more than one point. You've made one point only. Be more specific in the effects euphemisms have on the language. Also, you haven't stated the main point of military language. It's so that the military can continue with their current actions while hiding its brutal reality
Language can also be manipulated to change the views or persuade an audience to benefit the user. The Australian army will often refer to itself as a “defense force” but refer to the Iraqi army as a “military”. Although the two arms are the same in nature, built for the sole purpose of killing, the positive connotations of the lexical item “defense force” give the Australian army the positive qualities of sacrifice, honor, loyalty and protection see, being specific is always stronger . While on the other hand, the Iraqi army is seen as being ruthless and merciless ok, so what? What does this dichotomy do?. Often language used to influence thought thrives on the presence of connotative meanings of lexemes. Missile strikes may be referred to as “surgical strikes” as surgery has the positive connotations of fixing, repairing and making something better you've missed the point; surgical actually connotes precision. Also, elaborate on your point.  Using language emotively is another technique incorporated by speakers for their own benefit. Advertisements will largely use emotive language to convince an audience to buy their product. Online dating sites will often advertise themselves as “the pathway to finding your soul mate”. They will often use phrases such as “find the one for you” to appeal to the emotions of the audience eliciting an emotional response from them, thus persuading them to use their site metalanguage! Point out where exactly the emotive qualities lie. For instance, the usage of the definite article "the" in suggesting this is the only pathway. Evidently, language can be used to change the perceptions and behavior of an audience and thus benefit the user. you've repeated your topic sentence effectively; rephrase somewhere?
Sophisticated language and formal language no need to repeat "language"; sophisticated and formal language?such as jargon and complex sentence constructions are also used in the public domain to conceal the truth. Nominalisations and passive sentences are often prevalent in political language. A sentence such as “A pre-emptive strike was designed to ensure the safety of citizens” is passively constructed to purposely conceal the agent (the military). In doing so, users of language have the ability to deflect responsibility for wrong doings. Sophisticated language such as jargon also is used to obfuscate and conceal the truth. Politicians are often masters at using highly elevated language to confuse their audience in the hope to divert attention from anything that may bring harm to themselves or their political party it also makes themselves look more professional. This can be seen in media conferences with former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd where he bamboozled the audience with uses of long complex sentences with successive subordinating clauses, nominalizations and jargon. A classic example of Kevin Rudd using overly sophisticated language is his infamous “detailed programmatic specificity” where are his bamboozling successive subordinating clauses, nominalisations and jargon? when answering a question on climate change what exactly does this language achieve?. As seen, language has the power to confuse audiences and hence hide the truth and deflect responsibility.
Obviously language is a powerful tool which can be used to influence the way in which people perceive things. It can also be used to conceal the truth and deflect responsibility for a person’s wrong doings. Language can be used emotively to elicit an emotional response from audiences to benefit the user as well as manipulatively, thriving off positive connotations of lexemes your examples given did not thrive on positive connotations, only one of them did. It can be seen that language is unparalleled in its ability to manipulate an audience and hence benefit the user. quite repetitive


Overall, you have an idea of what you're doing, but there are a few issues.
1. You need more depth. You often state a point without explaining exactly how the language is persuasive or manipulative. For instance, with "surgical strike" and how it actually has connotations of precision (not surgery or being beneficial to health), you could have said that it implies the bombs and missiles do not kill indiscriminately, and then you could contrast that with the reality. There would be a good place to mention "collateral damage" as your paragraph would flow better
2. Examples, as you've realised. Using an example from before our parents were born is not the best way to impress the examiner with your wider reading
3. Metalanguage. It REALLY helps and impresses, and it makes your point clear. You've learnt about how jargon facilitates communication; well here, metalanguage gets your point across faster and wins kudo points in the examiner's book. What's not to love?
4. Phrasing. You get really repetitive at times.


As for more contemporary examples, look up military euphemisms for killing. There will be heaps online.

If I were to give a mark, I would say around 10/15. Clarity, depth, metalanguage and linguist quotes (relying on Orwell isn't enough; it's necessary but insufficient here) are all important parts of English Language essays
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: eddybaha on October 27, 2013, 07:15:31 pm
Hey thanks for the feedback that helped a lot.  :)Could you have a look at this essay too? Again, criticize freely. 
Spoiler
Should we fear language change or embrace it?
In modern Australia, language change is inevitable. There are many perception and opinions on language change. Prescriptivists often believe that it may lead to a declining of language and even a loss of identity with the recent bombardment of Americanisms. However descriptivists view language change as a necessary means for Australia as a nation to join the rest of the world politically and economically. They believe that a changing of language is not "wrong" and there is not prescribed guideline of what language "should be"
There has been noticeably increasing amounts of Americanisms flowing into the Australian society and vocabulary. This is due to the dominance of American pop culture and media. Many prescriptivists see this influx of Americanisms as a loss of our own national identity. Words straight from the white house eg. "homeland security" are used in the Australian parliament. "Teenspeak" is also evidently becoming more and more American in its linguistic nature as teens are now replacing the Australian "g'day" and "mate" with American "whatsup" and "dude". Although this lexical borrowing does not necessarily represent a loss of identity but rather a changing perception of how we typically see ourselves on the world stage. After all, change is ongoing and is not just occurring in this period of time but since the start of English itself. The English language has ten thousand "borrowed" French words mostly in the semantic field of food. Of course, Australia as a nation has become much less parochial joining the world politically and economically, and so understandably our language has changed to reflect this evolution. We no longer use archaic idioms such as "Drier than a dead dingo's donger" or "face like a half sucked mango"unless we are being deliberately "retro" and incorporate more Americanisms in our speech. Although despite the vast amount of Americanisms entering our borders, Australians still tend to put their own "spin" on these lexemes, be it through accent, pronunciation and even semantics.
The advancement of technological communication has also strongly impacted our language. With this new advancement we are now able to communicate with anyone across the globe quickly and efficiently. Though through this advancement the lines between written and spoken modes have been blurred in the medium of E-communication such as Emails, instant messaging, SMS etc. The major cause of this is the expectations of a quick reply and because of this new expectation, grammar has become less important. Text messages are replete with shortenings "y" and "sup" which are derived from the words "why" and "whatsup" allowing for more efficient communication without hindering the intelligibility of the text. Acronyms are also prevalent in instant messages such as "ROFL" and the most recent "YOLO". This is mainly due to the word limit in text messages as well as making it quicker to communicate. Rebuses such as "m8" and "b4" also play a similar function. In the eyes of a prescriptivist, these are all errors and mistakes and a declining of the English Language. However Linguist David Crystal believes that texting has improved our English contrary to popular belief. This idea is based on the fact that we must understand the rules in order to break them. Everyday when we break the rules in text messaging, we are doing so purposefully and not accidentally and so are in fact reinforcing our knowledge of grammar rather than deteriorating it. He argues that "any reading and writing is good for literacy". Descriptivists also argue that the main function of language is for communication and because these shortcuts in our language do not hinder out ability to communicate and even aid in it, there is no problem with it. As David Crystal states "The vast majority of spelling rules in English are irrelevant. They don't stop you from understanding the word in question". Evidently, language is changing, but also adapting to our social needs and expectations.
The PC language movement has also dramatically affected the way in which people choose to use language in modern society. The values of our society at a particular point in time dictate the way in which our lexicon is chosen. Nowadays political correctness dictates we stray from any discriminatory language, be it racism, sexism, age-ism or discriminating against the disabled. This is seen in our sensitivity of the adjectives "black", "fat",  and "retarded". We now prefer to use the more mild "African American", "voluptuous", "mentally disadvantaged". In a day and age where "blackboard" and "whiteboard" are being replaced with "marker-board" these adjustments in language are necessary to keep up society's values.
Obviously, our society is changing, and so language must change in order to meet our needs. We have new expectations of fast replies which our technological advancements provide to us. The PC language movement has also changed the lexemes we choose. Language changes pertaining to our social needs and values and should not be feared as it is necessary so that our communication can keep up with our fast paced lives. ;
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: teletubbies_95 on October 27, 2013, 07:34:24 pm
Hey thanks for the feedback that helped a lot.  :)Could you have a look at this essay too? Again, criticize freely. 
Spoiler
Should we fear language change or embrace it?
In modern Australia, language change is inevitable. There are many perception and opinions on language change. It sounds like you haven't linked the first sentence (ie. you say language change , then talk about perceptionsPrescriptivists often believe that it may lead to a declining of language and even a loss of identity with the recent bombardment of Americanisms. However descriptivists view language change as a necessary means for Australia as a nation to join the rest of the world politically and economically. They believe that a changing of language is not "wrong" and there is not prescribed guideline of what language "should be"
There has been noticeably increasing amounts of Americanisms flowing into the Australian society and vocabulary. This is due to the dominance of American pop culture and media. Many prescriptivists see this influx of Americanisms as a loss of our own national identity. Words straight from the white house eg. "homeland security" are used in the Australian parliament.I feel you need more discussion here "Teenspeak" is also evidently becoming more and more American in its linguistic nature as teens are now replacing the Australian "g'day" and "mate" with American "whatsup" and "dude". need more contemporary examplesAlthough this lexical borrowing does not necessarily represent a loss of identity but rather a changing perception of how we typically see ourselves on the world stage. After all, change is ongoing and is not just occurring in this period of time but since the start of English itself. The English language has ten thousand "borrowed" French words mostly in the semantic field of food. Of course, Australia as a nation has become much less parochial joining the world politically and economically, and so understandably our language has changed to reflect this evolution. We no longer usesome older Australia's may still use these idioms ? archaic idioms such as "Drier than a dead dingo's donger" or "face like a half sucked mango"unless we are being deliberately "retro" and incorporate more Americanisms in our speech. Although despite the vast amount of Americanisms entering our borders, Australians still tend to put their own "spin" on these lexemes, be it through accent, pronunciation and even semantics.But in the topic sentence and throughout the para you talk about Americanisms engulfing the language of Australians

The advancement of technological communication has also strongly impacted our language. With this new advancement we are now able to communicate with anyone across the globe quickly and efficiently. Though through this advancement the lines between written and spoken modes have been blurred in the medium of E-communication such as Emails, instant messaging, SMS etc.DONT USE ETC! The major cause of this is the expectations of a quick reply and because of this new expectation, grammar has become less important. Text messages are replete with shortenings "y" and "sup" which are derived from the words "why" and "whatsup" allowing for more efficient communication without hindering the intelligibility of the text. Acronyms are also prevalent in instant messages such as "ROFL" and the most recent "". This is mainly due to the word limit in text messages as well as making it quicker to communicate. Rebuses such as "m8" and "b4" also play a similar function. In the eyes of a prescriptivist, these are all errors and mistakes and a declining of the English Language. However Linguist David Crystal believes that texting has improved our English contrary to popular belief. This idea is based on the fact that we must understand the rules in order to break them. Everyday when we break the rules in text messaging, we are doing so purposefully and not accidentally and so are in fact reinforcing our knowledge of grammar rather than deteriorating it. He argues that "any reading and writing is good for literacy". Descriptivists also argue that the main function of language is for communication and because these shortcuts in our language do not hinder out ability to communicate and even aid in it, there is no problem with it. As David Crystal states "The vast majority of spelling rules in English are irrelevant. They don't stop you from understanding the word in question". Evidently, language is changing, but also adapting to our social needs and expectations. Some points are good , but you could improve expression

The PC language movement has also dramatically affected the way in which people choose to use language in modern society. The values of our society at a particular point in time dictate the way in which our lexicon is chosen. Nowadays political correctness dictates we stray from any discriminatory language, be it racism, sexism, age-ism or discriminating against the disabled. This is seen in our sensitivity of the adjectives "black", "fat",  and "retarded". We now prefer to use the more mild "African American", "voluptuous", "mentally disadvantaged". In a day and age where "blackboard" and "whiteboard" are being replaced with "marker-board" these adjustments in language are necessary to keep up society's values. I think this para needs a lot more depth and contemporary Australian examples ( ie. Adam Goodes "ape " scandal)

Obviously, our society is changing, and so language must change in order to meet our needs.Haven't talked about American influence para We have new expectations of fast replies which our technological advancements provide to us. The PC language movement has also changed the lexemes we choose. Language changes pertaining to our social needs and values and should not be feared as it is necessary so that our communication can keep up with our fast paced lives. ;

Overall, you've got good ideas! But you need to expand! :)
Sorry , this was a bit rushed! :) Hope this helps and if you want me to clarify , ill be happy to do so! :)
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: eddybaha on October 27, 2013, 08:08:27 pm
thanks for the feedback, highly appreciated. yeah i think i need to find more contemporary examples? know anywhere where i could find them, or maybe provide some of your own?
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: lzxnl on October 27, 2013, 08:20:02 pm
Should we fear language change or embrace it?
In modern Australia, language change is inevitable. There are many perception and opinions on language change. Prescriptivists often believe that it may lead to a declining of language and even a loss of identity with the recent bombardment of Americanisms. However descriptivists view language change as a necessary means for Australia as a nation to join the rest of the world politically and economically. They believe that a changing of language is not "wrong" and there is not prescribed guideline of what language "should be"  contention is?
There has been noticeably increasing amounts of Americanisms flowing into the Australian society and vocabulary. This is due to the dominance of American pop culture and media. Many prescriptivists not just prescriptivists; bear this in mind see this influx of Americanisms as a loss of our own national identity. Words straight from the white house eg. "homeland security" are used in the Australian parliament explain how this dilutes our identity. "Teenspeak" is also evidently becoming more and more American in its linguistic nature as teens are now replacing the Australian "g'day" and "mate" is this really teenspeak? with American "whatsup" and "dude". Although this lexical borrowing does not necessarily represent a loss of identity but rather a changing perception of how we typically see ourselves on the world stage again, incomplete sentence; you also need to address the Australian connotations of g'day and mate that are not in the replacements. After all, change is ongoing and is not just occurring in this period of time but since the start of English itself. The English language has ten thousand "borrowed" French words mostly in the semantic field of food so what? Explain the significance. Of course, Australia as a nation has become much less parochial joining the world politically and economically, and so understandably our language has changed to reflect this evolution paragraph is getting unclear. We no longer use archaic idioms such as "Drier than a dead dingo's donger" or "face like a half sucked mango"unless we are being deliberately "retro" and incorporate more Americanisms in our speech unclear phrasing. Although despite the vast amount of Americanisms entering our borders, Australians still tend to put their own "spin" on these lexemes, be it through accent, pronunciation and even semantics.  try to retain some formality in your essays. Also, I failed to see the main message of this paragraph. I don't even know if you're addressed the topic
The advancement of technological communication has also strongly impacted our language. With this new advancement we are now able to communicate with anyone across the globe quickly and efficiently. Though through this advancement the lines between written and spoken modes have been blurred in the medium of E-communication such as Emails, instant messaging, SMS etc though and although are subordinating conjunctions; you always seem to forget this. The major cause of this is the expectations expectation? of a quick reply I think it's more to mirror the spontaneity of speech and because of this new expectation, grammar has become less important. Text messages are replete with shortenings "y" and "sup" which are derived from the words "why" and "whatsup" allowing for more efficient communication without hindering the intelligibility of the text. Acronyms are also prevalent in instant messages such as "ROFL" and the most recent "inserts something here". This is mainly due to the word limit in text messages as well as making it quicker to communicate. Rebuses such as "m8" and "b4" also play a similar function. In the eyes of a prescriptivist, these are all errors and mistakes and a declining of the English Language. However Linguist capital not needed David Crystal believes that texting has improved our Englis comma neededh contrary to popular belief. This idea is based on the fact that we must understand the rules in order to break them. Everyday when we break the rules in text messaging, we are doing so purposefully and not accidentally you cannot necessarily be so sure of this; be careful of your phrasing and so are in fact reinforcing our knowledge of grammar rather than deteriorating it. He argues that "any reading and writing is good for literacy". link to topic? Your argument is still quite unclear Descriptivists also argue that the main function of language is for communication and because these shortcuts in our language do not hinder out spelling ability to communicate and even aid in it, there is no problem with it. As David Crystal states "The vast majority of spelling rules in English are irrelevant. They don't stop you from understanding the word in question". Evidently, language is changing, but is also adapting to our social needs and expectations.
The PC language movement has also dramatically affected the way in which people choose to use language in modern society. The values of our society at a particular point in time dictate the way in which our lexicon is chosen. Nowadays political correctness dictates we stray from any discriminatory language, be it racism, sexism, age-ism or discriminating against the disabled. This is seen in our sensitivity of the adjectives "black", "fat",  and "retarded". We now prefer to use the more mild "African American", "voluptuous", "mentally disadvantaged". In a day and age where "blackboard" and "whiteboard" are being replaced with "marker-board" these adjustments in language are necessary to keep up society's values. use metalanguage. Paragraph is a bit short. Explain PC in depth; your paragraph is too shallow
Obviously, our society is changing, and so language must change in order to meet our needs. We have new expectations of fast replies which our technological advancements provide to us. The PC language movement has also changed the lexemes we choose. Language changes pertaining to our social needs and values and should not be feared as it is necessary so that our communication can keep up with our fast paced lives.


I feel you haven't developed much of an argument here. Firstly, your contention isn't clear from the outset. Secondly, you don't seem to phrase things clearly. I often have serious difficulty following your arguments. Remember, your essay is not just written for yourself; others need to understand it too. Thirdly, sometimes you don't go deep enough into your points. That is something you might want to look at.



As for examples, you just have to go online and search for them. They're a real pain to find, I know.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: eddybaha on October 28, 2013, 04:52:30 pm
Thanks again for the extensive feedback. Here's another one i wrote up recently. However i find it hard incorporating contemporary examples in this topic. Any suggestions? feedback would be nice too.
Spoiler
Our language choices have a powerful impact on others. How do we construct our language to promote social harmony and build rapport with others?
Communication through language depends on interaction with one another, be it through the spoken or written modes. In interactions of any sort with another, there will often be politeness conventions being used. Politeness is a language to used to make interactions more smooth and harmonious. Politeness also has much to do with the context of our surroundings. Using the right register in certain contexts allow people do identify with their interlocutors. Speakers will also often vary their language according to social circumstances so that the language being used is the most appropriate. Our language choices include what we choose to say in order to respect the face needs of another and what we choose to omit in our speech. Our choice of phrases and words can often promote social harmony with others.

Appropriate language use can often aid in communicating in a harmonious way with others. This means that we must consider the sociolinguistic variables to assess how we choose to use language. Swearing is becoming less taboo in our society with expletives such as "F***" being blurted out frequently by younger generations. However, young people will still tend to omit these swear words in certain contexts such as when an elderly is within an ear shot, or if there is a teacher nearby, thus avoiding any trouble showing how speakers will vary their language according to audience. Speakers will also vary language depending on context. For example, one may speak one way when at a football match and use a different register when in the office at work. In the office we will tend to use more formal and standard language. Most likely, we will use honorifics such as "sir", "ma'am", "Mr" and "Mrs" when addressing superiors. However in a football match, the language we choose to use will become much less formal with frequent use of slang such as "cairn the pies" helping us identify with our interlocutors and consequently helping us build rapport with them. In tight social groups we are more inclined to use the groups sociolect as well as a more relaxed register to build solidarity within the group. This is highlighted in "teenspeak" where slang and the jargon of a group are used to promote group solidarity. The language we choose to use aids in harmonious communication as well as solidarity building with others.

People will often use positive politeness conventions to build rapport with one another. Positive face needs is the desire of a person's skills, goals, ideas and attributes to be desired upon by another. It is also the need to be liked by others. Typical Australian diminutives such as "Nico", "Johno", "Robbo" help make social interactions more comfortable and intimate as well as addressing the positive face needs of the audience. Using these casual forms of address as well as"mate" and "buddy" are essential to help build rapport. Compliments are also forms of positive politeness which help discourse to run smoothly. Often on greeting, one will compliment another to start a conversation or break the ice. This is highlighted in game shows or talk shows and media interviews where the host will introduce the person coming on stage with a "put your hands together for the lovely (person's name)". This allows the person to feel warmly welcomed while setting a friendly tone for the rest of the discourse. It can be seen that our language choices can have a powerful impact on the way other people feel.

People also use negative politeness conventions to help conversations run smoother. Negative politeness conventions address the negative face needs of a person or the want of a person to not be imposed on. Negative politeness conventions include the use of "please" , "thank you", as well as weak modals "could", "may" which make social interactions run smoother. For example, if you were to use the imperative"pass me the salt" without any politeness markers it would sound very demanding and imposing. By adjusting slightly to "could you pass me the salt please? thank you." the imperative now sounds more like an interrogative thus sounding less imposing to your audience. The use of weak modals in such sentences is a form of hedging and is often used when asking a person to do something for you. The term "saving face" is often associated with negative politeness. Some"saving face" methods include hedging eg. "i would come but like i can't". The use of the discourse particle "like" weakens the force of the sentence and thus shows an attempt at being polite. Hedges are often incorporated into the language of politicians in the form of adverbs "possibly" and "basically" as it allows them to not answer a question directly. Speakers will also use language to show authority and to increase social distance between them and the audience. Negative politeness conventions allow a person to establish social hierarchy. This is seen when a student uses the honorific "Sir", "Mr" or "Mrs" when addressing a teacher. This increases the social distance between them and also allows the student to acknowledge that the teacher is his superior thus showing politeness and respect to the teacher. Evidently, our choices of language in the form of negative politeness conventions can have a powerful impact on others.
Our language choices obviously play a big role promoting social harmony and rapport with others. Our choices of register allow us to avoid trouble as well increase solidarity within groups. Our choice of lexemes to respect the face needs of others also promotes social harmony. Our language choices undoubtedly has a powerful impact on our audience.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Rish_007 on October 29, 2013, 02:43:59 am
Profanity is an emotive communicative tool which plays a variety of roles in contemporary Australian society. Discuss.

Contemporary Australia profanity has quite varied functions, showing that it is quite a dynamic entity. In certain social groups swearing is encouraged, primarily due to its benefactors of building a 'mateship' among interlocutors. However it is still governed by context and taboo as seen in mediums such as the newspaper, television and interviews. Swearing cam also serve to function as defining one's socioeconomic status and place on the social hierarchy in a certain social group



Swearing in Australia, quite recently, has gained some encouragement in certain groups. This is because it creates friendships, reduces social distance, and more commonly gives insight into an individual's identity. Profanity is thrown around often at social locations such as a bar, or a social event like the footy, or more commonly on on technological mediums like Facebook and Twitter. This not because of a exclamatory function but rather it functions to create solidarity between members of the club Essendon, or a bunch of 'blokes' at the bar. For example the profanity "cunt" is being used in a interesting way, among friends, it is being tagged along in sentences "Steve, you cunt" as a rapport building tactic. Furthermore swearing creates this relaxed atmosphere among participants that further encourages rapport to built. Swear words also increase sense of expression, when it is quite difficult to access adjectives, profanities are perfect to describe something or someone. This seen with the former Prime minister Kevin Rudd "shit storm" or even in advertisements of dangerous driving "don't be a dickhead"- VicRoads. The advertisement also reaches out to "young people on their level" - O' Brien's. Many individuals swear in Australia that it is now become part of their national identity, creating sense of values  for the nation. It was seen in the advertisement that was promoting Australian tourism, where Lara Bingle used "where the bloody hell are ya" showing "bloody" has changed its role in Australian society to the point Australian's embrace it, and code profanity to their "DNA"- Kate Burridge


While there may be positive attitudes towards swearing it still has taboo and context which undermine its role in society, by its negative uses and influences. Mediums such as popular newspaper Herald Sun, The Age still censor profanity from their content even if it fits the context. Commonly also seen with the A current Affair on channel 7 with their 'bleep' sound when a profanity is thrown out. This shows bad language is governed by taboo, the newspapers try to keep up with political correctness and taboo's to maintain the reader's positive face. Remember not all readers believe swearing is good, this is mostly seen with upper class citizens who abide with standards of Australian English. It is also a generalised   aspect as surveys show teenagers/ middle- aged individuals are more likely to throw out a profanity on the basis of solidarity than older people. A reason for this could be older generations still believe in their values and attitudes towards swearing, whilst generation X, Y,Z are more open to new values and dogmas. Furthermore it may be also because older generations are restricted to newspapers and are unable to access sites like Twitter which delivers the public domain in a "taboo free fashion ". Profanity is catching on, however, it still somewhat restricted by taboos and popular news outlets and media even if it fits the context.


Swearing can also function to determine one's socioeconomic status, or where they stand on the social hierarchy as an individual. It can be said hard labor workers like construction workers often use profanities in their workplace, this will occur occasionally. Such behaviors induce the idea that profanity is directly proportional to one's job occupation. Furthermore Aborigines often throw out profanities, and people assume it is due to their lack of education. Additionally a way a student talks outside of school can give an insight into the school the student goes to, if the student swears, people will think he or she is from a bad school. If an individual was to swear at a train station people would assume he or she is of low status, this is dependent on the individual itself but generally speaking this is what occurs. While on the other hand being well spoken and staying updated with political correctness and taboo of Australian society can earn an individual a good reputation among the society. This shows profanity can affect both negatively and positively depending on how it is used. This will determine one's place in the society and socioeconomic status.


Swearing is seen as a dynamic state in Australia. Most people believe it functions to increase friendship or even create them by inducing a relaxed atmosphere. Profanity is catching on even if it is still restricted by media and taboo and it has useful purposes. One of Profanity's purpose is to determine one's socioeconomic status and their place in society.       
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: rohanj on October 29, 2013, 04:35:21 pm
Could I get some feedback on this lang analysis essay I wrote in preparation for tomorrow's VCE English exam?
Any help will be appreciated! :)

Biodiversity, a crucial part of our existence in the world today is an ever growing issue that has been up for debate. During the International Biodiversity Conference 2010 in Nagoya Japan on the 25th to the 27th of October, Professor Chris Lee delivered a speech “Taking Stock” regarding the issue of Governmental action regarding the issue of biodiversity loss. The speech was delivered to the public consisting of many scientists, government officials and others witnessing Lee’s presentation as he expressed his view in a distressed, enthusiastic, formal and frank manner. Lee wished to review the progress made towards achieving the target to reduce biodiversity loss and took beyond 2010.
Throughout his speech, Lee makes the use of many rhetorical questions with a goal of creating a worry and to get the public thinking about the issue. He asks the audience “What have WE – what have YOU and YOUR country actually done since 2002?” and this gets the desired response. The use of the inclusive terms such as ‘we’, ‘you’, and ‘your’ make the audience engaged as these terms personalize the issue due to the fact these words refer to us as individuals. The fact that this was an International level conference means that many professionals in the field of biodiversity would have been present and by using inclusive terms in his rhetorical questions, he makes an appeal to the responsibility people of such stature feel. By asking what we have “actually done” he is able to create a sense of guilt that the public feel as by saying “actually” it magnifies the fact that our behaviour was not enough to create any positives. The fact that many professionals in the field of biodiversity and science were present at such a conference, these audience members in particular feel guilty. Lee uses an attack on the opposition in a concerned way via the use of rhetorical questions.
Emotions create the basis of us to respond to a situation, it gives us the motivation to change a situation. In his speech, Lee uses many emotive terms to further enhance the engagement of the audience. He states the situations that the poorer people in the world have to face and the rates of poverty to make the public feel the effects the issue has on the less fortunate people of our world. He says an emotive statement “the poor are particularly vulnerable because they are directly dependent on biodiversity for their survival”. This touches a nerve in the audience as most people like to believe they have a sense of care for others in despair. It makes them feel a touch of sympathy due to their sufferings as well as make the audience of those in power feel guilty about their lack of action regarding biodiversity loss. The use of the word “poor” has a strong sympathetic and negative connation attached as they refer to people who don’t have the honor to live life like the majority of Lee’s speech’s audience do. By using the word “vulnerable”, which has strong helpless and pitiful connotations attached, Lee is able to touch the hearts of people that care about the issues the loss of biodiversity has on the less fortunate people our Governments claim to care for. Finally, by stating they are “dependent of biodiversity” Lee is able to make a strong link back to the major issue as it means biodiversity loss is making the lives of poor people even more complicated than it already is. It makes his audience feel emotionally connected to his concerns and those of the poor.
Lee makes the use of slides with images that go with his speech to add another dimension and an extra effect to further enhance his point of view. The use of the logo of the Conference, Lee is able to make sure everyone knows the main topic of debate. The logo that has “2010” on it, has photos of carefully constructed photos of elements of biodiversity. The involvement of water animals such as fishes, land animals such as birds, humans as well as aspects of nature like the tree, clearly states the harmony that biodiversity brings to the world. It creates an overall balanced feel of the logo which stays relevant to the issue. The contrasting nature of a white background that has colored numbers in the foreground creates a clarity in which the focal point of the image, biodiversity in 2010, remains in the audience’s minds. The creation of the logo has the numbers overlapping and joined together, similar to the way biodiversity joins all aspects of the Earth together. This creates a strong sense of likeness to the issue of biodiversity as well as ensuring the logo is relevant to the main topic of debate.
Hands joining together in unity are an aspect that is required to change an issue such as biodiversity. The image on the closing slide of Lee’s slide shows exactly that as a globe is placed on joining hands to state the fact the unity is required to create a positive effect on biodiversity loss. By placing the globe and hands in the foreground, the emphasis remains on the main issue as the hierarchy of image placement ensure the eyes focus on the focal point first and foremost. The accompanying text that states the words of ecologist “Thomas Eisner” say “Biodiversity is the greatest treasure we have. Its diminishment is to be preserved at all costs”. This remains very much relevant to the issue that Lee is discussing in his speech and the use of an expert opinion make his speech that much stronger. The words “greatest treasure” have connotations that regard to great things in life that are precious to lose as by saying “greatest” the audience think of grand positives. The use of “treasure” states that the gained benefits of biodiversity are precious and something that is priceless.
Biodiversity is the “greatest treasure we have” and this is the concerned emotion that Lee expresses in his speech with a means to review progress and form the building blocks for further improvements. By using rhetorical questions his audience which includes many professionals, they are made to think about the inaction regarding biodiversity. It allows Lee to form the basis for creating a sense of urgency regarding the matter. Together with the use of emotive language and inclusive terms, Lee is successfully able to persuade his intended audience of professionals in the field of science and Government to reduce biodiversity loss. The added use of images on his slides enhances the potential as it ensures visual learners are also persuaded to the full extent.

Thanks!
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: lzxnl on October 29, 2013, 09:37:00 pm
Profanity is an emotive communicative tool which plays a variety of roles in contemporary Australian society. Discuss.

Contemporary Australia profanity has quite varied functions phrasing a bit awkward, showing that it is quite a dynamic entity. In certain social groups swearing is encouraged, primarily due to its benefactors I don't quite like the use of this word of building a 'mateship'  a mateship? something like reducing social distance or create solidarity would be fineamong interlocutors. However it is still governed by context and taboo as seen in mediums such as the newspaper, television and interviews probably better to mention appropriateness. Swearing cam spelling also serve to function as defining one's socioeconomic status and place on the social hierarchy in a certain social group so contention is where?



Swearing in Australia, quite recently, has gained some encouragement in certain groups. This is because it creates friendships, reduces social distance, and more commonly gives insight into an individual's identity it CAN do these; you really need that modal verb, otherwise your argument is actually incorrect. If I said "fuck you all the way to hell" every day of my life to you, would that create friendships and reduce social distance?. Profanity is thrown around often at social locations such as a bar, or a social event like the footy, or more commonly on on technological mediums like Facebook and Twitter. This not because grammar of a exclamatory function but rather it functions to create solidarity between members of the club explain how so, with a concrete example Essendon, or a bunch of 'blokes' at the bar. For example the profanity "cunt" is being used in a interesting way, among friends, it is being tagged along in sentences "Steve, you cunt" as a rapport building tactic see, your argument makes more sense with an example. Furthermore swearing creates this relaxed atmosphere among participants that further encourages rapport to built grammar. Again. Swear words also increase sense of expression phrasing; swearing facilitates communications?, when it is quite difficult to access adjectives, profanities are perfect to describe something or someone. This seen past participle! Needs auxiliary verb with the former Prime minister Kevin Rudd "shit storm" or even in advertisements of dangerous driving "don't be a dickhead"- VicRoads Analyse the point of these!. The advertisement also reaches out to "young people on their level" - O' Brien's. Many individuals swear in Australia that it is now become part of their national identity, creating sense of values  for the nation you're jumping around when you haven't made your point clearly. It was seen in the advertisement that was promoting Australian tourism, where Lara Bingle used "where the bloody hell are ya" showing "bloody" has changed its role in Australian society to the point Australian's embrace it, and code profanity to their "DNA"- Kate Burridge I only know what you're talking about because I've done the course; to an outsider this would be very unclear and you don't want that


While there may be positive attitudes towards swearing it still has taboo and context which undermine its role in society phrasing, by its negative uses and influences. Mediums such as popular newspaper Herald Sun, The Age still censor profanity from their content even if it fits the context. Commonly also seen with the A current Affair on channel 7 with their 'bleep' sound when a profanity is thrown out. This shows bad language is governed by taboo mention appropriateness, the newspapers try to keep up with political correctness and taboo's to maintain the reader's positive face this isn't positive face...positive face is when someone feels accepted and that people are interested in them; this is just appropriateness. Use the term!. Remember too colloquial for the essay not all readers believe swearing is good, this is mostly seen with upper class citizens who abide with standards of Australian English metalanguage? Prescriptivists?. It is also a generalised   aspect as surveys show teenagers/ middle- aged individuals are more likely to throw out a profanity on the basis of solidarity than older people Is this really a strong point?. A reason for this could be older generations still believe in their values and attitudes towards swearing, whilst generation X, Y,Z are more open to new values and dogmas. You're straying from your topic sentence Furthermore it may be also because older generations are restricted to newspapers and are unable to access sites like Twitter are you saying old people can't use Twitter? which delivers the public domain in a "taboo free fashion " more required on online language. Profanity is catching on, however, it still somewhat restricted by taboos and popular news outlets and media even if it fits the context. Here I really became lost


Swearing can also function to determine what, so if I swear more I'm going to become a construction worker? Be careful of wording one's socioeconomic status, or where they stand on the social hierarchy as an individual. It can be said hard labor workers like construction workers often use profanities in their workplace, this will occur occasionally. Such behaviors induce the idea that profanity is directly proportional to one's job occupation I don't like the phrasing. Furthermore Aborigines often throw out profanities, and people assume it is due to their lack of education. Additionally a way a student talks outside of school can give an insight into the school the student goes to, semicolon! if the student swears, people will think he or she is from a bad school people more judge your level of education; and it does not say anything about the school at all. People at my school, supposedly one of the best in Melbourne, still swear a lot; your point is?. If an individual was subjunctive? :P to swear at a train station people would assume he or she is of low status, this is dependent on the individual itself but generally speaking this is what occurs. you haven't said anything to me yet...you're repeating things. Give a concrete example. While on the other hand being well spoken and staying updated with political correctness swearing isn't politically incorrect; it does not discriminate and taboo of Australian society can earn an individual a good reputation among the society. huh? I'm confused This shows profanity can affect both negatively and positively depending on how it is used. This will determine one's place in the society and socioeconomic status.  huh? I'm confused. Again. And you don't want the reader to be confused


Swearing is seen as a dynamic state in Australia. Most people believe it functions to increase friendship or even create them by inducing a relaxed atmosphere. Profanity is catching on even if it is still restricted by media and taboo and it has useful purposes. One of Profanity's purpose is to determine one's socioeconomic status and their place in society.     


I couldn't really see your points in this essay. Clarity of expression is something which would really help your essays. Think about the big ideas of swearing, and then try and explain them clearly to someone. Don't go off on tangents (PC language isn't really relevant here). Also, pay attention to your grammar (examiners will hate non-Standard syntax) and phrasing, as some of your wording is a bit off.
Concrete examples are a must. For something as practical and everyday as swearing, real-life examples from the media are an absolute must.

Could I get some feedback on this lang analysis essay I wrote in preparation for tomorrow's VCE English exam?
Any help will be appreciated! :)

Biodiversity, a crucial part of our existence in the world today is an ever growing issue that has been up for debate. During the International Biodiversity Conference 2010 in Nagoya Japan on the 25th to the 27th of October, Professor Chris Lee delivered a speech “Taking Stock” regarding the issue of Governmental action regarding the issue of biodiversity loss. The speech was delivered to the public consisting of many scientists, government officials and others witnessing Lee’s presentation as he expressed his view in a distressed, enthusiastic, formal and frank manner. Lee wished to review the progress made towards achieving the target to reduce biodiversity loss and took beyond 2010.
Throughout his speech, Lee makes the use of many rhetorical questions with a goal of creating a worry and to get the public thinking about the issue. He asks the audience “What have WE – what have YOU and YOUR country actually done since 2002?” and this gets the desired response. The use of the inclusive terms pronouns? such as ‘we’, ‘you’, and ‘your’ not quite related to rhetorical questions make the audience engaged as these terms personalize the issue due to the fact these words refer to us as individuals. The fact that this was an International level conference means that many professionals in the field of biodiversity would have been present and by using inclusive terms in his rhetorical questions, he makes an appeal to the responsibility people of such stature feel. By asking what we have “actually done” he is able to create a sense of guilt that the public feel as by saying “actually” metalanguage? it magnifies the fact that our behaviour was not enough to create any positives. The fact that many professionals in the field of biodiversity and science were present at such a conference, these audience members in particular feel guilty. Lee uses an attack on the opposition in a concerned way via the use of rhetorical questions. you've looked at ONE rhetorical question...
Emotions create the basis of us to respond to a situation, it gives us the motivation to change a situation. You want a topic sentence directly connected to language In his speech, Lee uses many emotive terms to further enhance the engagement of the audience this is where pronouns would be handy. He states the situations that the poorer people in the world have to face and the rates of poverty to make the public feel the effects the issue has on the less fortunate people of our world. He says an emotive statement “the poor are particularly vulnerable because they are directly dependent on biodiversity for their survival”. This touches a nerve in the audience as most people like to believe they have a sense of care for others in despair "It appeals to their sense of compassion and humanity"? Phrasing could be reworked. It makes them feel a touch of sympathy due to their sufferings as well as make the audience of those in power feel guilty about their lack of action regarding biodiversity loss. The use of the word “poor” has a strong sympathetic and negative connation connotation attached as they refer to people who don’t have the honor to live life like the majority of Lee’s speech’s audience do. By using the word “vulnerable”, which has strong helpless and pitiful connotations attached, Lee is able to touch the hearts of people that care about the issues the loss of biodiversity has on the less fortunate people our Governments claim to care for and perhaps stress the magnitude of the issue at hand?. Finally, by stating they are “dependent of biodiversity” Lee is able to make a strong link back to the major issue as it means biodiversity loss is making the lives of poor people even more complicated than it already is to me it looks like biodiversity is a large part of these people's lives; remove it, and their lives will be in strife. It makes his audience feel emotionally connected to his concerns and those of the poor.
Lee makes the use of slides with images that go with his speech to add another dimension and an extra effect to further enhance his point of view. The use of the logo of the Conference, Lee is able to make sure everyone knows the main topic of debate not a complete sentence. The logo that has “2010” on it, has photos of carefully constructed photos of elements of biodiversity. The involvement of water animals such as fishes, land animals such as birds, humans as well as aspects of nature like the tree, clearly states the harmony that biodiversity brings to the world. It creates an overall balanced feel of the logo which stays relevant to the issue. The contrasting nature of a white background that has colored numbers in the foreground creates a clarity in which the focal point of the image, biodiversity in 2010, remains in the audience’s minds. The creation of the logo has the numbers overlapping and joined together, similar to the way biodiversity joins all aspects of the Earth together. This creates a strong sense of likeness to the issue of biodiversity as well as ensuring the logo is relevant to the main topic of debate.
Hands joining together in unity are an aspect that is required to change an issue such as biodiversity. The image on the closing slide of Lee’s slide shows exactly that as a globe is placed on joining hands to state the fact the unity is required to create a positive effect on biodiversity loss. By placing the globe and hands in the foreground, the emphasis remains on the main issue as the hierarchy of image placement ensure the eyes focus on the focal point first and foremost. The accompanying text that states the words of ecologist “Thomas Eisner” say “Biodiversity is the greatest treasure we have. Its diminishment is to be preserved at all costs”. This remains very much relevant to the issue that Lee is discussing in his speech and the use of an expert opinion make his speech that much stronger add authority to his speech?. The words “greatest treasure” have connotations that regard to great things in life that are precious to lose as by saying “greatest” the audience think of grand positives. The use of “treasure” states that the gained benefits of biodiversity are precious and something that is priceless.
Biodiversity is the “greatest treasure we have” and this is the concerned emotion that Lee expresses in his speech with a means to review progress and form the building blocks for further improvements. By using rhetorical questions his audience which includes many professionals, they are made to think about the inaction regarding biodiversity. It allows Lee to form the basis for creating a sense of urgency regarding the matter. Together with the use of emotive language and inclusive terms, Lee is successfully able to persuade his intended audience of professionals in the field of science and Government to reduce biodiversity loss. The added use of images on his slides enhances the potential as it ensures visual learners are also persuaded to the full extent.

Thanks!

I regret to inform you that your language analysis is sadly in the wrong section. I would like to advise you that this is the English Language forum, in which our exam preparation is solely directed towards an exam in two weeks time.

Although going from what you've written, I wouldn't include "inclusive terms" as part of a rhetorical questions paragraph. The former constitutes lexis; the latter is syntax, or sentence structure, and your topic sentence doesn't seem to cover syntax.
Metalanguage would help at times.
Also, we don't actually have the text, so even if we were to try and help, it's quite difficult. All we can do is point out things you have rephrased better, as opposed to what else there is to say.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Scooby on October 29, 2013, 09:50:00 pm
Can someone have a look at this analytical commentary? It's Text 2 from the 2011 exam :)
http://www.vcaa.vic.edu.au/Documents/exams/englishlanguage/2011englang-cpr-w.pdf


The text is part of a commentary from 774 ABC Radio during the 2011 Australian Open. The commentary is of a tennis match between two women, the Italian Francesca Schiavone and the Danish Caroline Wozniacki. The function of the text is for the commentators to describe the events of the match to listeners of ABC radio, and also for L and D to build rapport using a variety of strategies. This spoken discourse is largely conversational and as a result of its spontaneity the register is highly informal. 

The lexical choices of Q in this conversation allow him to establish himself as an expert commentator. He uses a wide range of jargon, including the nouns “deuce” (54) and “half volley” (5), and the present tense verb “overhits” (53). In doing so, Q demonstrates to listeners of ABC radio that he is well-versed in tennis commentating and is therefore a reliable source of information. In addition to Q, L and D speak predominantly in the present tense, which is appropriate, given that they are describing to listeners an event which is happening right before them. The spontaneity and fast-paced nature of this spoken discourse is indicated in the use of many contracted lexemes, such as “it’s” (eg. 7 and 8), the third person pronoun “she’s” (eg. 45 and 47), and “isn’t” (eg. 83 and 85). The use of such contractions, in addition to a variety of abbreviations, contributes to the informal nature of the text.

The syntax of this commentary is largely non-standard, which contributes to its informality. The coordinating conjunctions “but” and “and” are used to begin a sentence by D on line 19 and Q on lines 57 and 72 respectively, which is a common feature of spontaneous spoken discourse. The dominant sentence type in the text is declarative, which allows the commentators, particularly Q, to convey information about the tennis match to listeners clearly and succinctly. “Here’s the first ball” (60) and “They love a fight” (37) are examples of the many declaratives that pervade the text. In addition, interrogatives are used occasionally, particularly by L and D, whose communication is mostly conversational, rather than descriptive. “Danni, did she do that on purpose?” (13) and “It’s so much, Danni, isn’t it?” (83) are used by L to invite D into the commentary. Q uses interrogatives for a different purpose. “Can she finish it?” (76) is used by Q to genuinely question whether Schiavone can finish off the point, and he follows it up on line 78 with “Yes, she can.” Interrogatives are used by Q to engage listeners rather than support other commentators in the discussion. The sentence structure is predominantly compound, with several independent clauses coordinated by commas, rather than the conjunction “and”, which is another non-standard feature of the text. “Schiavone pumps the forehand… It’s another winner from Francesca Schiavone” (3-8) is such an example of this non-standard sentence structure.

A variety of conversational strategies are used by the participants in this commentary. Communication between L and D is largely conversational. These two participants support each other conversationally using a number of back channeling signals, including “yeah” (eg. 22 and 86) by L. Lexical repetition is also evident in communication between the pair, such as that of the pronoun “they” by D on line 38 after it is used by L on line 37. This allows L to indicate to D that she is listening to her and vice versa, reducing social distance between the pair and allowing each to meet the positive face needs of the other. Q is the dominant speaker in this conversation, but his discussion is limited mainly to describing the events of the match; he converses little with the other interlocutors. Q maintains control of the floor when he has it by using a raised pitch on each of the final utterances from line 27 to line 31. D and L support Q at the beginning of this part of the commentary by using the minimal response “Wow” (9) and by laughing on lines 6 and 10, respectively. However, towards the end of the discourse, L and D respond scarcely to Q’s remarks.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: ECheong on October 30, 2013, 10:45:55 pm
Hey, long time lurker here so take my feedback with a grain of salt but I'll do my best! (and try to follow in line with the formatting etiquette here haha)

Can someone have a look at this analytical commentary? It's Text 2 from the 2011 exam :)
http://www.vcaa.vic.edu.au/Documents/exams/englishlanguage/2011englang-cpr-w.pdf


The text is part of a commentary from 774 ABC Radio during the 2011 Australian Open. The commentary is of a tennis match between two women, the Italian Francesca Schiavone and the Danish Caroline Wozniacki. The function of the text is for the commentators to describe the events of the match to listeners of ABC radio, and also for L and D to build rapport using a variety of strategies. This spoken discourse is largely conversational and as a result of its spontaneity the register is highly informal. 

The lexical choices of Q in this conversation allow him to establish himself as an expert commentator. He uses a wide range of jargon, including the nouns “deuce” (54) and “half volley” (5), and the present tense verb “overhits” (53). In doing so, Q demonstrates to listeners of ABC radio that he is well-versed in tennis commentating and is therefore a reliable source of information. In addition potentially don't need this adverbial to Q, L and D speak predominantly in the present tense, which is appropriate, given that they are describing to listeners an event which is happening right before them. The spontaneity and fast-paced nature of this spoken discourse is indicated in the use of many contracted lexemes, such as “it’s” (eg. 7 and 8), the third person pronoun “she’s” (eg. 45 and 47), and “isn’t” (eg. 83 and 85). The use of such contractions, in addition to a variety of abbreviationsexamples?, contributes to the informal nature of the text. How?Efficiency in speech? relate this to the mode/context

The syntax of this commentary is largely non-standard, which contributes to its informality. The coordinating conjunctions “but” and “and” are used to begin a sentence by D on line 19 and Q on lines 57 and 72 respectively, which is a common feature of spontaneous spoken discourse. The dominant sentence type in the text is declarative, which allows the commentators, particularly Q, to convey information about the tennis match to listeners clearly and succinctly. “Here’s the first ball” (60) and “They love a fight” (37) are examples of the many declaratives that pervade the text. In addition, interrogatives are used occasionally, particularly by L and D, whose communication is mostly conversational, rather than descriptive. “Danni, did she do that on purpose?” (13) and “It’s so much, Danni, isn’t it?” (83) are used by L to invite D into the commentary Is this to keep the exchange entertaining? remember this is a radio broadcast. Q uses interrogatives for a different purpose. “Can she finish it?” (76) is used by Q to genuinely question whether Schiavone can finish off the point, and he follows it up on line 78 with “Yes, she can.” Interrogatives are used by Q to engage listeners rather than support other commentators in the discussion. The sentence structure is predominantly compound, with several independent clauses coordinated by commas, rather than the conjunction “and”, which is another non-standard feature of the text. “Schiavone pumps the forehand… It’s another winner from Francesca Schiavone” (3-8) is such an example of this non-standard sentence structure.This final example/point, relate to 'why'. Is it potentially because in the context they don't have time to be linking clauses together with adverbials, or could it be a technique to drum up tension?

A variety of conversational strategies are used by the participants in this commentary. Communication between L and D is largely conversational. These two participantsMight just be me, but the anaphoric reference with 'these' feels a bit clumsy here support each other conversationally using a number of back channeling signals, including “yeah” (eg. 22 and 86) by L. Lexical repetition is also evident in communication between the pair, such as that of the pronoun “they” by D on line 38 after it is used by L on line 37. This allows L to indicate to D that she is listening to her and vice versa, reducing social distance between the pair and allowing each to meet the positive face needs of the other. Q is the dominant speaker in this conversation, but his discussion is limited mainly to describing the events of the matchA very succinct reference back to your first paragraph points as to why might be nice here. (is Q here to be the expert? what is Q's role in conversation?) ; he converses little with the other interlocutors. Q maintains control of the floor when he has it by using a raised pitch on each of the final utterances from line 27 to line 31. D and L support Q at the beginning of this part of the commentary by using the minimal response “Wow” (9) and by laughing on lines 6 and 10, respectively. However, towards the end of the discourse, L and D respond scarcely to Q’s remarks.


Overall, a very clear and well written analysis. The analysis showed a good breadth of examples as well as depth of analysis. As you can probably tell, I really needed to nitpick to find things to feedback on! Very few momentary lapses in expression or examples and tbh they would've slipped by me if I hadn't expressly looked for them. In general, always think, 'why?'. With respect to this text, relate examples to the interplay between commentator roles (which I admit can be very difficult to infer) and the register (which you did). Lastly, you could also have related arguments and examples to the fact that the text is from a radio show, a speech-only medium. Discussion into lexical choice and its relationship to the need for the commentators to 'paint a word picture' would be interesting. :)

I hope that's somewhat helpful! If anyone else has anything to add though please by all means add. :)

Edit: expression and added point about radio broadcast that I just thought of
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: teletubbies_95 on October 31, 2013, 09:04:08 am
This is a commentary that I wrote in June this year ! :) Feel free to criticise. It doesn't have line numbers and when I was doing it , I had to put in line numbers myself. :P  Thank you!

http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/movies/paying-the-price-for-a-trip-to-the-cinema-20130530-2ne3d.html
"Paying a price for a trip to the cinema"


This text, “ Paying the price for a trip to the cinema” is from a newspaper, which has a function to express the writer’s feelings about her experience at the film, “Hangover Part III” in an entertaining manner. The register of text is relatively informal, as well as showing formal register features reflected by the linguistic features and is directed towards an adult audience who are knowledgeable about films. This text is highly planned and conforms to the features of both the spoken and written mode.

The lexical and morphological features support the function, spoken mode, informal yet formal register and the intended audience of the text. The use film related jargon such as “ comedy”(38) , “credits” (40) and “bonus scene” (42) demonstrate that the article is intended for readers who are knowledgeable about films. Personal pronouns, such as “you”(13,26) and “you’re”(32) is used to engage with the audience and personalizes the text, thus supporting the entertainment function. The author uses adjectives, such as “impeccable” (37) and “malevolent” (34) is used to describe her experience of the film and further contributes to the formal register. The use of superlative adjectives, such as “loudest, longest…” (21) emphasises the authors’ annoyance at the other people playing with food packaging in the cinema. It is further emphasised with the alliterated /l/ phoneme.  On the other hand, dysphemistic expletive “bloody” (28) is used to express the authors’ annoyance at the price of the movie ticket and further contributes to the informal register. Contractions, such as “ everyone’s “(33) and “I’d”(20”) , morphologically contributes to the informal register and the spoken mode. This provides a more casual and conversational tone, thus supporting the entertaining function . The use of shortening, such as “ads” (25) and blended “ seething”(23)  further contributes to the informal register . This feature aids the entertaining function through expressing the authors’ feelings of watching “The Hangover III”.

The syntactic and phonological features support the informal, yet formal register, as well the spoken mode features, consequently reflecting the function of the text. The use of sentence-initial conjunctions, such as “but”(37) and “then”(20) reflects the relatively informal register with the use of typical informal spoken features. The feature creates a casual and conversational tone, which aids to support the expressive function regarding to author’s feelings of the film. Declarative sentences such as “It was $19”(12) and “I was the last one out of the theatres, because I always read the credits” (40) are used to aid the function of the authors’ feelings about her movie experience. Phonological features of elision is present when the author elides /ən/ in “til” (42) , contributing to the informal register creating a conversational tone , thus enhancing the expressive function.

Cohesion and coherence are maintained throughout the text. This is shown through clear formatting through paragraphing to separate the authors’ ideas. This feature is used to so the reader can clearly understand what the author is trying to express and also conforms to the written mode. Furthermore, there is a large bolded heading for the title "  Paying the price for a trip to the cinema” , which signposts and engages the reader , as well as the date , " May 31 2013" and the authors' name " Cal Wilson" . These features which are typical of the conventions followed by newspapers, show where the text was found. The audience is, newspaper readers who are interested in films,  is reflected through the extensive reliance on implication. The reader has to infer what is the author is implying when the author refers to “Torana “ which is a type of vehicle and who” Peter Jackson” (an actor) is , to clearly understand what the author is attempting to express. Cohesion is maintained through anaphoric reference, shown through the use of “it” (11) to noun referent  “The Hangover Part III” . This provides links between the noun referent and reference and avoids repetition. This cohesive tie aids cohesion, as well as the expressive function. The use of hyponymy, with references to “animal” (17)  and co hyponyms “lions”(18) and “zebras”(17) , creates associations between animal and its type, to emphasis the behavior of people at the cinema . This feature provides humour, thus supporting the entertaining function.

Indeed through the use of lexical, phonological , syntactic and morphological features indicate the expressive , yet entertaining function of the text, as well as the informal register . The cohesive ties and coherence features further emphasises both the written and spoken modes and the intended audience as being the people who are knowledgeable about films.

^^ I haven't talked about info flow :(
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: ECheong on October 31, 2013, 12:15:18 pm
Hi, I'll have my best shot at it :)

This is a commentary that I wrote in June this year ! :) Feel free to criticise. It doesn't have line numbers and when I was doing it , I had to put in line numbers myself. :P  Thank you!

http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/movies/paying-the-price-for-a-trip-to-the-cinema-20130530-2ne3d.html
"Paying a price for a trip to the cinema"


This text, “ Paying the price for a trip to the cinema” is from a newspaper, which has a we want a definite article here 'the' function to express the writer’s feelings about her experience at the film, “Hangover Part III” in an entertaining manner Expression slightly awkward here. The 'from a newspaper' talks about medium whereas the rest of your sentence brings up function, if your intention with the 'a' indefinite article was to say that it had more than one function then further elaboration would've been needed. The register of text is relatively informal, as well as 'as well as' makes the reader think that the two concepts are equally prominent and are 'together', perhaps 'however' would be better here (more on this later) showing formal register features reflected by the linguistic features and is directed towards an adult audience who are knowledgeable about films. This text is highly planned and conforms to the features of both the spoken and written mode.

The lexical and morphological features support the function, spoken mode, informal yet formal register and the intended audience of the text.Heavy sentence The use [of?] film related jargon such as “ comedy”(38) , “credits” (40) and “bonus scene” (42) demonstrate that the article is intended for readers who are knowledgeable about films. Personal pronouns, such as “you”(13,26) and “you’re”(32) is verb agreement, 'are' used to engage with the audience and personalizes the text, thus supporting the entertainment function. The author uses adjectives, such as “impeccable” (37) and “malevolent” (34) is used to describe her experience of the film and further contributes to the formal register explore why? Are these adjectives special in any way?. The use of superlative adjectives, such as “loudest, longest…” (21) emphasises the authors’ annoyance at the other people playing with food packaging in the cinema. It is further emphasised with the alliterated /l/ phoneme.  On the other hand this adverbial phrase is typically used to contrast, perhaps something along the lines of 'In addition' instead ., dysphemistic expletive “bloody” (28) is used to express the authors’ annoyance at the price of the movie ticket and further contributes to the informal register. Contractions, such as “ everyone’s “(33) and “I’d”(20”) , morphologically contributes info flow here, it's the lexemes  that are contributing, rather than the morphology. Perhaps reorder. to the informal register and the spoken mode. This provides a more casual and conversational tone, thus supporting the entertaining function . The use of shortening, such as “ads” (25) and blended “ seething”(23)  further contributes to the informal register . This feature aids the entertaining function through expressing the authors’ feelings of watching “The Hangover III”. Does the informal register help the entertainment function?

The syntactic and phonological features support the informal, yet formal register, as well the spoken mode features, consequently reflecting the function of the text. The use of sentence-initial conjunctions, such as “but”(37) and “then”(20) reflects the relatively informal register with the use of typical informal spoken features. The feature creates a casual and conversational tone, which aids to support the expressive function regarding to author’s feelings of the film. Declarative sentences such as “It was $19”(12) and “I was the last one out of the theatres, because I always read the credits” (40) are used to aid the function of the authors’ feelings about her movie experience. Phonological features of elision is present when the author elides /ən/ in “til” (42) , contributing to the informal register creating a conversational tone , thus enhancing the expressive function. referencing back to the 'informal, yet formal' this paragraph presented a missed opportunity to examine why it was still formal (and evidence it). You discussed and supported why it was informal very well, but could possibly have discussed how the medium's demands meant that the author still needed to use formal features

Cohesion and coherence are maintained throughout the text. This is shown through clear formatting through paragraphing to separate the authors’ ideas. This feature is used to so the reader can clearly understand what the author is trying to express and also conforms to the written mode. Furthermore, we need a link here, your first sentence discusses coherence through distinct ideas whereas this, and the following sentence, discusses conforming to newspaper standards (with signposting added in) there is a large bolded heading for the title "  Paying the price for a trip to the cinema” , which signposts and engages the reader , as well as the date , " May 31 2013" and the authors' name " Cal Wilson" . These features which are typical of the conventions followed by newspapers, show where the text was found. The audience is, newspaper readers who are interested in films,  is reflected through the extensive reliance on implication. The reader has to infer what is the author is implying when the author refers to “Torana “ which is a type of vehicle and who” Peter Jackson” (an actor) is , to clearly understand what the author is attempting to express. Cohesion is maintained through anaphoric reference, shown through the use of “it” (11) to noun referent  “The Hangover Part III” . This provides links between the noun referent and reference and avoids repetition. This cohesive tie aids cohesion, as well as the expressive function. The use of hyponymy, with references to “animal” (17)  and co hyponyms “lions”(18) and “zebras”(17) , creates associations between animal and its type, to emphasis the behavior of people at the cinema . This feature provides humour, thus supporting the entertaining function. This paragraph is metalanguage impressive!

Indeed through the use of lexical, phonological , syntactic and morphological features indicate the expressive , yet entertaining function of the text, as well as the informal register . The cohesive ties and coherence features further emphasises both the written and spoken modes and the intended audience as being the people who are knowledgeable about films.

^^ I haven't talked about info flow :(

Overall, decent analysis. Displayed very good understanding and identification of features along with their associated metalanguage. Occasionally further elaboration needed in terms of 'why' the feature is present or what it reflects. Importantly, ideas need to be expressed in a clear and logical order. In some places the ideas seemed to meld together as noted in the last paragraph. Perhaps, (speaking from experience as I do this a lot!) as you're writing you think "omG That is such a good example/point! I'LL ADD IT IN," this tends to break up the coherence of a paragraph as a seemingly tangential idea can appear to be embedded in an already logical paragraph. Finally, some grammatical errors here and there in terms of definite/indefinite articles and verb plural agreements.

Hope that's helpful! :)

edit: grammar LOL
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Scooby on October 31, 2013, 10:32:52 pm
The lexical and morphological features support the function, spoken mode, informal yet formal register and the intended audience of the text.

I probably wouldn't write that. You're contradicting yourself a bit :P
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: emilyhobbes on October 31, 2013, 11:42:53 pm
Hey hey, could anyone maybe check out this essay for me? Thank you!  :)

The question to ask is: Why not use Standard English all the time? Discuss

We, as a society, have attributed the Standard English variety with characteristics of “correctness, precision, purity [and] elegance” (Professor Kate Burridge), a measure of linguistic prestige which is idealised as the zenith of the English language. Yet despite this socially respected position, Standard English is prevalent in only some contexts rather than all, for whilst it does serve to promote socially distant but harmonious relationships, our social purposes are diverse and varied with non-standard language often better equipped to facilitate these. The overt prestige of the standard may not always be valued within a particular social group, in which case non-standard language can often be preferable in establishing and maintaining group identity, and similarly, social discord rather than social harmony may be the intended result of discourse in which case the “elegance” of the Standard is a hindrance rather than an assisting factor. Standard English has also lost some of its influence on those in the younger generations, as attitudes towards its use have relaxed in tandem with our transforming environment and social values.
Non-standard English can be pivotal in establishing an in-group identity, engendering a sense of solidarity within a particular social group. Standard English is the variety of English most widely understood across the globe, hence enabling it to be inclusive to all speakers and the language of diplomacy. This universal inclusivity, however, is redundant in creating linguistic distinctions between in-group and out-group members, and in this way, non-standard language is better able to promote a strong in-group identity and solidarity. As expressed by Sterling, “linguistic variation is a tool for us to construct ourselves as social beings”. The ability of the non-standard to distinguish between in-group and out-group members is amply demonstrated in the realms of gamertalk, in which slang, acronyms and gaming jargon alienates those outside the gaming group whilst strengthening the social bonds within it. Examples of this, within the Pokemon gaming community in particular, include slang and jargon such as “Ubers”, “sweepers”, “walls”, “legendaries” and “counters”, whilst acronyms and initialisms such as “IVs” (individual values), “EVs” (effort values), “OU” (overused) and “OHKO” (one hit knock out) abound. Accompanying this non-standard lexis is a covert prestige, which can be equally or even more powerful than the overt prestige of Standard English within the gaming context, its usage a demonstration of deep, exclusive contextual knowledge and belonging to the gaming group. This covert prestige exists only within the group, however, and therefore the usage of non-standard gaming language is appropriate and comprehendible in only gaming related contexts. In terms of audience, the use of non-standard English is capable of reaching a much more narrow scope than its standardised counterpart, but it is this exclusivity which lends it its power.
The versatility and more emotionally charged language available in the unbounded realm of non-standard language enables it to be a more effective linguistic medium with which to cause offence to others. Whilst Standard English is the language of diplomacy, political correctness and euphemism, integral in a functional society, these qualities also render it ineffective when our purpose is to actively cause offence, to rebel against the rules of politeness and impede upon the positive and negative face needs of others. Dysphemism, euphemism’s unruly younger sibling, is often exploited when linguistic abuse is necessary or desired, magnifying the emotionally associative power of the given sentiment. Rather than being merely inconsiderate, rude, disliked, arrogant or any of the plethora of flawed human characteristics, one is transformed into the dysphemistic and immeasurably more offensive and abusive “motherfucker”, “shithead” or the unequivocally irredeemable “cunt”. Being taboo and outside of what is considered ‘pure’ language, such lexis is attributed the factor of being shocking, a blatant affront to positive face needs, giving non-standard dysphemisms the power to offend in a way that the codified and prestigious Standard English struggles to. Furthermore, given the recent “expansion of moral concern” (Noam Chomsky) in politically correct language in Australian society, non-standard discriminatory language also has a more potent capacity to offend and insult. Indeed, discriminatory language which marginalises minority groups according to variables such as race, gender, age, religion and sexuality is one of the most powerful linguistic weapons we have today, capable of causing public outrage and insult, as demonstrated through the situation earlier this year, during which AFL player Adam Goodes was labelled as an “ape” by a young, female spectator, and “King Kong” merely days later by Eddie McGuire, President of the Collingwood Football Club. The series of social gaffes and racially discriminatory and “disgusting” comments were followed by public calls for Eddie McGuire’s resignation from his position, illustrating the offence which non-standard lexis and discriminatory language is capable of inflicting. Where Standard English mitigates and nullifies, the non-standard wounds and exacerbates. As such, the variety employed by a speaker is dependent on their social intention.
Compounding these propensities of non-Standard English is the phenomenon of Australian society drawing away from the strict and rigid prescriptivist views of language usage. In contrast to the era of our history in which elocution lessons and unyielding style guides were prevalent, deviations from Standard English are no longer the indicators of being ill-educated. They are instead representative of a freedom to investigate and test the boundaries of our language, with less focus being placed in the upholding of artificially inflicted grammatical and syntactical rules. Indeed, those still entrenched in the belief of Standard English’s inherent superiority and dictate its usage in all contexts are perceived by the majority as archaic, pretentious or supercilious. It is people such as Lynne Truss, author of style guide “Eats Shoots and Leaves”, who believes non-standard usage of apostrophes deserving of speakers being “hacked up on the spot and buried in an unmarked grave”, that are labelled the pejorative descriptor of “grammarnazi”. The intensely negative connotations of this reflect the burgeoning intolerance towards rigid prescriptivism and artificial restrictions of language use in modern Australian society. Instead, what seems to be arising is a more accepting, and positive descriptivist view of language change and non-standard usage of language, liberating modern language users from the restraints of the Standard. Without these standardised rules being collectively enforced, we are able to express the linguistic creativity and innovation which is so remarkable in the human condition, but this creativity is not entirely unchained, it is still subject to the propriety of contextual factors. So whilst non-Standard English is no longer so denigrated by the majority of modern Australians, the use of Standard English is still significant in its role of asserting a educated and prestigious identity.
Standard English and non-Standard English are both incredibly powerful, capable of achieving different social purposes at an optimal level. Standard English is a “benchmark of excellence” (Kate Burridge), a prestigious variety useful in binding together people from a diverse background, but non-Standard English is pivotal in achieving in-group solidarity and provoking social discord. As attitudes towards Standard English change, so too will the contexts in which non-Standard English is appropriate.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: eddybaha on October 31, 2013, 11:58:23 pm
I think you have a strong grasp of this topic. I think your 1st and 3rd points are well structured and you provide good examples to back them up. But i do not quite understand your second point, your contention is that non standard varieties allow for use of dysphemism, coarse language and neglecting face needs but you haven't stated why this may be advantageous to the user or why it may be preferred over the standard. I'm not quite sure how the second paragraph relates to the topic, Maybe you should write that emotive langauge -using the examples you have given- is achieved through non standard varieties more effectively than standard English. Then give an example of which context this would be the case.
Overall, great essay, good use of metalanguage and suitable examples!
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: teletubbies_95 on November 01, 2013, 10:35:24 am
Thanks guys! :)
Okay! :) My teacher said we can say "informal features, with formal features as well" , which was true in some cases in the text . But now I understand , it's better not to use it :) Thank you! :)

Thanks ECheong ! Great feedback ! :) Thank you ! :)
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: ECheong on November 01, 2013, 11:02:33 am
Thanks guys! :)
Okay! :) My teacher said we can say "informal features, with formal features as well" , which was true in some cases in the text . But now I understand , it's better not to use it :) Thank you! :)

Thanks ECheong ! Great feedback ! :) Thank you ! :)
I personally wouldn't say it's better not to use it if you're able to evidence both sides, contrast the two, and say why it's mainly informal with formal features thrown in. To make it clearer to understand, I would lean slightly to one side e.g. "it's mostly informal but a couple formal features seep in because...". It shows to the examiner depth of understanding. Of course, it all depends on the text, we could very well just get a crazily informal text in the exam in which case this won't apply. :)
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: maturegambino on November 01, 2013, 11:23:14 am
Attached here is a section C practice essay where feedback would helpful! Always looking for second opinions :)
The topic is Standard English
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: lzxnl on November 01, 2013, 11:28:28 am
I did this once...it was fun :D

Can someone have a look at this analytical commentary? It's Text 2 from the 2011 exam :)
http://www.vcaa.vic.edu.au/Documents/exams/englishlanguage/2011englang-cpr-w.pdf


The text is part of a commentary from 774 ABC Radio during the 2011 Australian Open. The commentary is of a tennis match between two women, the Italian Francesca Schiavone and the Danish Caroline Wozniacki. The function of the text is for the commentators to describe the events of the match to listeners of ABC radio, and also for L and D to build rapport using a variety of strategies is that REALLY a function of the text? That is probably a means to an end, but not the end. The commentary is for an audience. This spoken discourse is largely conversational and as a result of its spontaneity the register is highly informal.  the viewers can't see the tennis match; point this out. Extra detail is needed

The lexical choices of Q in this conversation allow him to establish himself as an expert commentator you've missed the point. He uses a wide range of jargon, including the nouns “deuce” (54) and “half volley” (5), and the present tense verb “overhits” (53). In doing so, Q demonstrates to listeners of ABC radio that he is well-versed in tennis commentating and is therefore a reliable source of information yes, but it also enables clearer communication of the tennis match. In addition to Q, L and D speak predominantly in the present tense, which is appropriate, given that they are describing to listeners an event which is happening right before them examiners like examples. The spontaneity and fast-paced nature of this spoken discourse is indicated in the use of many contracted lexemes, such as “it’s” (eg. 7 and 8), the third person pronoun “she’s” (eg. 45 and 47), and “isn’t” (eg. 83 and 85). The use of such contractions, in addition to a variety of abbreviations, contributes to the informal nature of the text.

The syntax of this commentary is largely non-standard, which contributes to its informality not the point. The coordinating conjunctions “but” and “and” are used to begin a sentence by D on line 19 and Q on lines 57 and 72 respectively, which is a common feature of spontaneous spoken discourse. The dominant sentence type in the text is declarative, which allows the commentators, particularly Q, to convey information about the tennis match to listeners clearly and succinctly. “Here’s the first ball” (60) and “They love a fight” (37) are examples of the many declaratives that pervade the text. In addition, interrogatives are used occasionally, particularly by L and D, whose communication is mostly conversational, rather than descriptive. “Danni, did she do that on purpose?” (13) and “It’s so much, Danni, isn’t it?” (83) are used by L to invite D into the commentary. Q uses interrogatives for a different purpose. “Can she finish it?” (76) is used by Q to genuinely question whether Schiavone can finish off the point, and he follows it up on line 78 with “Yes, she can.” Interrogatives are used by Q to engage listeners rather than support other commentators in the discussion. The sentence structure is predominantly compound, with several independent clauses coordinated by commas, rather than the conjunction “and”, which is another non-standard feature of the text. “Schiavone pumps the forehand… It’s another winner from Francesca Schiavone” (3-8) is such an example of this non-standard sentence structure. you've missed the largest syntactic feature of the discourse: lines 11, 4, 5 for instance all use ellipsis, and this is a feature of the ENTIRE commentary to demonstrate the spontaneity of the commentary and to relay information to the audience as quickly as possible

A variety of conversational strategies are used by the participants in this commentary. Communication between L and D is largely conversational. These two participants support each other conversationally using a number of back channeling signals, including “yeah” (eg. 22 and 86) by L. Lexical repetition is also evident in communication between the pair, such as that of the pronoun “they” by D on line 38 after it is used by L on line 37. This allows L to indicate to D that she is listening to her and vice versa, reducing social distance between the pair and allowing each to meet the positive face needs of the other. Q is the dominant speaker in this conversation, but his discussion is limited mainly to describing the events of the match; he converses little with the other interlocutors. Q maintains control of the floor when he has it by using a raised pitch on each of the final utterances from line 27 to line 31. D and L support Q at the beginning of this part of the commentary by using the minimal response “Wow” (9) and by laughing on lines 6 and 10, respectively. However, towards the end of the discourse, L and D respond scarcely to Q’s remarks. relevance? explain


Overall, I feel as if you've seriously misread the text. The text isn't just a casual conversation between L and D about the tennis match. Sure, it is informal, but there are two sides to this commentary. Explain WHY it is informal, what does it do? In this case, an informal conversation is more engaging for the audience to listen to. Also, explain the significance of the commentators' emotions and their opinions. THAT is one of the main purposes of the text.
You don't go into enough detail here about the commentary on the action of the tennis match.
Also, where are the prosodics? Those play such a key part in this commentary...



I've been a bit picky, but the points about missing the important bits of the conversation still stand.


This is a commentary that I wrote in June this year ! :) Feel free to criticise. It doesn't have line numbers and when I was doing it , I had to put in line numbers myself. :P  Thank you!

http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/movies/paying-the-price-for-a-trip-to-the-cinema-20130530-2ne3d.html
"Paying a price for a trip to the cinema"


This text, “ Paying the price for a trip to the cinema” is from a newspaper, which has a function to express the writer’s feelings about her experience at the film, “Hangover Part III” in an entertaining manner. The register of text is relatively informal, as well as showing formal register features reflected by the linguistic features and is directed towards an adult audience who are knowledgeable about films. This text is highly planned and conforms to the features of both the spoken and written mode.

The lexical and morphological features support the function, spoken mode, informal yet formal register it's not formal; just because it's written doesn't make it formal and the intended audience of the text. The use film related jargon such as “ comedy”(38) , “credits” (40) and “bonus scene” (42) demonstrate that the article is intended for readers who are knowledgeable about films and for speed of communication. Personal pronouns, such as “you”(13,26) and “you’re”(32) is used to engage with the audience and personalizes the text, thus supporting the entertainment function. The author uses adjectives, such as “impeccable” (37) and “malevolent” (34) is used to describe her experience of the film and further contributes to the formal register I think it's just for further elaboration; not sure if it does make it more formal. The use of superlative adjectives, such as “loudest, longest…” (21) emphasises the authors’ annoyance at the other people playing with food packaging in the cinema good point. It is further emphasised with the alliterated /l/ phoneme.  On the other hand, dysphemistic expletive “bloody” (28) is used to express the authors’ annoyance at the price of the movie ticket and further contributes to the informal register Great Australian adjective? Create rapport with Australian audience?. Contractions, such as “ everyone’s “(33) and “I’d”(20”) , morphologically contributes to the informal register and the spoken mode rephrase; is reminiscent of spoken language. Linguistic features can't contribute to an opposite mode. This provides a more casual and conversational tone, thus supporting the entertaining function . The use of shortening, such as “ads” (25) and blended “ seething”(23)  further contributes to the informal register . This feature aids the entertaining function through expressing the authors’ feelings of watching “The Hangover III”. FIRST PERSON PRONOUNS!!! What about the capitals?

The syntactic and phonological features text doesn't have phonological features as such; they're morphological support the informal, yet formal register, as well the spoken mode features, consequently reflecting the function of the text. The use of sentence-initial conjunctions, such as “but”(37) and “then”(20) reflects the relatively informal register with the use of typical informal spoken features. The feature creates a casual and conversational tone, which aids to support the expressive function regarding to author’s feelings of the film. Declarative sentences such as “It was $19”(12) and “I was the last one out of the theatres, because I always read the credits” (40) are used to aid the function of the authors’ feelings about her movie experience. Phonological features of elision is present when the author elides /ən/ in “til” (42) , contributing to the informal register creating a conversational tone , thus enhancing the expressive function.

Cohesion and coherence are maintained throughout the text. This is shown through clear formatting through paragraphing to separate the authors’ ideas. This feature is used to so the reader can clearly understand what the author is trying to express and also conforms to the written mode. Furthermore, there is a large bolded heading for the title "  Paying the price for a trip to the cinema” , which signposts and engages the reader , as well as the date , " May 31 2013" and the authors' name " Cal Wilson" . These features which are typical of the conventions followed by newspapers, show where the text was found. The audience is, newspaper readers who are interested in films,  is reflected through the extensive reliance on implication. The reader has to infer what is the author is implying when the author refers to “Torana “ which is a type of vehicle and who” Peter Jackson” (an actor) is , to clearly understand what the author is attempting to express. Cohesion is maintained through anaphoric reference, shown through the use of “it” (11) to noun referent  “The Hangover Part III” . This provides links between the noun referent and reference and avoids repetition. This cohesive tie aids cohesion, as well as the expressive function. The use of hyponymy, with references to “animal” (17)  and co hyponyms “lions”(18) and “zebras”(17) , creates associations between animal and its type, to emphasis the behavior of people at the cinema . This feature provides humour, thus supporting the entertaining function. You've missed the chronological ordering of the entire text, which is essential because the text is written that way, from the tickets to the film. Also, cohesion is maintained through reference to previous topics, like "The Hangover III is one of those movies where you have to suspend your disbelief, which was fine by me, because I'd used all mine up over the ticket price"; refers back to the initial mentioning of the ticket price

Indeed through the use of lexical, phonological , syntactic and morphological features indicate the expressive , yet entertaining function of the text, as well as the informal register . The cohesive ties and coherence features further emphasises both the written and spoken modes and the intended audience as being the people who are knowledgeable about films.

^^ I haven't talked about info flow :(

You've also missed semantic patterning like the metaphors in "Zebras huddle together, because from a distance their markings make them look like one giant animal to a predator. As far as I could see, the cinema was completely devoid of lions. But apparently, the other viewers needed the security of sitting as close to me as if we shared our major internal organs."

It's a pity; most of your analysis itself is quite sound, but there were other points to focus on that I feel were a bit more important. I would be wary of discussing the spoken mode itself; I would refer to it as 'reminiscent of the spoken mode'.

Also, your paragraph splitting, to me, seems a bit off. The way you've structured it, it's really hard to identify all of the important features in your paragraphs because unfortunately, the text doesn't just have lexical, morphological, syntactic features, cohesion and coherence. It has, as you've mentioned, information flow techniques, which here are more important to discuss than syntax. Your syntax paragraph, arguably, wasn't very informative.
You don't want to just list features; you need to find the most important features and analyse those in depth

Just a few of my suggestions; you can shoot me after you've read this ^_^


Hey hey, could anyone maybe check out this essay for me? Thank you!  :)

The question to ask is: Why not use Standard English all the time? Discuss

We I don't know if examiners like first person pronouns if they can be avoided, as a society, have attributed the Standard English variety with characteristics of “correctness, precision, purity [and] elegance” (Professor Kate Burridge), a measure of linguistic prestige which is idealised as the zenith of the English language. Yet despite this socially respected position, Standard English is prevalent in only some contexts rather than all, for whilst it does serve to promote socially distant but harmonious relationships, our social purposes are diverse and varied with non-standard language often better equipped to facilitate these. The overt prestige of the standard may not always be valued within a particular social group, in which case non-standard language can often be preferable in establishing and maintaining group identity, and similarly, social discord rather than social harmony may be the intended result intended result? of discourse in which case the “elegance” of the Standard is a hindrance rather than an assisting factor. Standard English has also lost some of its influence on those in the younger generations, as attitudes towards its use have relaxed in tandem with our transforming environment and social values. I like your introduction, but in the exam it'll be a bit long. You only have 45 minutes or so for the essay and this intro will take a sizeable chunk of that away
Non-standard English can be pivotal in establishing an in-group identity, engendering a sense of solidarity within a particular social group. Standard English is the variety of English most widely understood across the globe, hence enabling it to be inclusive to all speakers and the language of diplomacy. This universal inclusivity, however, is redundant in creating linguistic distinctions between in-group and out-group members, and in this way, non-standard language is better able to promote a strong in-group identity and solidarity. As expressed by Sterling, “linguistic variation is a tool for us to construct ourselves as social beings”. again, in the exam you won't have time to write all of this, which is good but your space is limited The ability of the non-standard to distinguish between in-group and out-group members is amply demonstrated in the realms of gamertalk, in which slang, acronyms and gaming jargon alienates those outside the gaming group whilst strengthening the social bonds within it just a matter of personal preference perhaps, but I would put the effects after your examples so that it is clearer . Examples of this, within the Pokemon gaming community in particular, include slang and jargon such as “Ubers”, “sweepers”, “walls”, “legendaries” and “counters”, whilst acronyms and initialisms such as “IVs” (individual values), “EVs” (effort values), “OU” (overused) and “OHKO” (one hit knock out) abound. I think it would be better if you separated the initialisms and the acronyms so that the examiners knew that you know the distinction between them. Accompanying this non-standard lexis is a covert prestige, which can be equally or even more powerful than the overt prestige of Standard English within the gaming context, its usage a demonstration of deep, exclusive contextual knowledge and belonging to the gaming group. This covert prestige exists only within the group, however, and therefore the usage of non-standard gaming language is appropriate and comprehendible in only gaming related contexts. In terms of audience, the use of non-standard English is capable of reaching a much more narrow scope than its standardised counterpart, but it is this exclusivity which lends it its power. I like your commentary, but examiners want more than one set of examples from one group. Try a second group as well?
The versatility and more emotionally charged language available in the unbounded realm of non-standard language enables it to be a more effective linguistic medium with which to cause offence to others LOL certainly a unique topic sentence and focus xD. Whilst Standard English is the language of diplomacy, political correctness and euphemism, integral in a functional society, these qualities also render it ineffective when our purpose is to actively cause offence, to rebel against the rules of politeness and impede upon the positive and negative face needs of others. Dysphemism, euphemism’s unruly younger sibling, is often exploited when linguistic abuse is necessary or desired, magnifying the emotionally associative power of the given sentiment. Rather than being merely inconsiderate, rude, disliked, arrogant or any of the plethora of flawed human characteristics, one is transformed into the dysphemistic and immeasurably more offensive and abusive “motherfucker”, “shithead” or the unequivocally irredeemable “cunt” be careful here; these terms can also be used to reduce social distance in a group as well. Being taboo and outside of what is considered ‘pure’ language, such lexis is attributed the factor of being shocking, a blatant affront to positive face needs, giving non-standard dysphemisms the power to offend in a way that the codified and prestigious Standard English struggles to although I must say, a well-crafted and expressive torrent of abuse constructed in Standard English would also be quite powerful; Julia Gillard's misogyny speech? I found that stronger than any combination of "cunt" or "shithead" which, after a while, seems hollow and devoid of substance. Furthermore, given the recent “expansion of moral concern” (Noam Chomsky) in politically correct language in Australian society, non-standard discriminatory language discriminatory doesn't JUST have to be non-standard also has a more potent capacity to offend and insult. Indeed, discriminatory language which marginalises minority groups according to variables such as race, gender, age, religion and sexuality is one of the most powerful linguistic weapons we have today, capable of causing public outrage and insult, as demonstrated through the situation earlier this year, during which AFL player Adam Goodes was labelled as an “ape” by a young, female spectator, and “King Kong” merely days later by Eddie McGuire, President of the Collingwood Football Club. The series of social gaffes and racially discriminatory and “disgusting” comments were followed by public calls for Eddie McGuire’s resignation from his position, illustrating the offence which non-standard lexis and discriminatory language is capable of inflicting. Where Standard English mitigates and nullifies, the non-standard wounds and exacerbates. As such, the variety employed by a speaker is dependent on their social intention. strong end to paragraph, but your paragraph is quite long; I generally find that more than 300 words per paragraph, and I'm running into trouble
Compounding these propensities of non-Standard English is the phenomenon of Australian society drawing away from the strict and rigid prescriptivist views of language usage. In contrast to the era of our history in which elocution lessons and unyielding style guides were prevalent, deviations from Standard English are no longer the indicators of being ill-educated. They are instead representative of a freedom to investigate and test the boundaries of our language, with less focus being placed in the upholding of artificially inflicted grammatical and syntactical rules. Indeed, those still entrenched in the belief of Standard English’s inherent superiority and dictate its usage in all contexts are perceived by the majority as archaic, pretentious or supercilious. It is people such as Lynne Truss, author of style guide “Eats Shoots and Leaves”, who believes non-standard usage of apostrophes deserving of speakers being “hacked up on the spot and buried in an unmarked grave”, that are labelled the pejorative descriptor of “grammarnazi” perhaps another example of being so uptight on grammar? One example, I feel, doesn't make the point clearly; do you label people pejoratively as grammar nazis just because they point out non-standard apostrophe usage?. The intensely negative connotations of this reflect the burgeoning intolerance towards rigid prescriptivism and artificial restrictions of language use in modern Australian society. Instead, what seems to be arising is a more accepting, and positive descriptivist view of language change and non-standard usage of language, liberating modern language users from the restraints of the Standard. Without these standardised rules being collectively enforced, we are able to express the linguistic creativity and innovation which is so remarkable in the human condition, but this creativity is not entirely unchained, internal grammar nazi says semicolon here, not comma xP it is still subject to the propriety of contextual factors. So whilst non-Standard English is no longer so denigrated by the majority of modern Australians, the use of Standard English is still significant in its role of asserting a educated and prestigious identity.
Standard English and non-Standard English are both incredibly powerful, capable of achieving different social purposes at an optimal level. Standard English is a “benchmark of excellence” (Kate Burridge), a prestigious variety useful in binding together people from a diverse background, but non-Standard English is pivotal in achieving in-group solidarity and provoking social discord. As attitudes towards Standard English change, so too will the contexts in which non-Standard English is appropriate.


Overall, your essay is quite strong and your commentary goes into lots of detail, which is good.
However, I feel you need more examples at times; one example for a grammar nazi, or one example for slang doesn't, I feel, prove your point clearly enough. Remember, this is an English Language essay and linguistic examples are the only basis for all of your arguments. It doesn't matter if I come up with a brilliant theory of how the language works; if people don't speak or use language that way, the theory is flawed.
Also, be wary of your word count. In the exam, you may not have the time to write 1000 words in an essay, and this essay borders on 1200. Your intro, while effective, is a bit long, and so is some of your pre-example discussion.
Final point: I think the topic does ask for at least a paragraph on Standard English somewhere. You sometimes mention that Standard English has its uses, but you haven't shown us that, and that is, I think, the largest issue in an otherwise well-constructed essay. As eddybaha said below, dysphemism, while interesting to discuss, is a bit of a grey area, as it depends on the context too; in certain contexts, a Standard English insult would also be very strong. I think a paragraph on Standard English would certainly help this essay in an exam.

But overall, good job! I don't normally say this to people on this thread :P sorry guys
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: lzxnl on November 01, 2013, 11:53:38 am
Section C Essay: Question 2. 30 marks.
Why is Standard English perceived as intrinsically superior to other varieties? Discuss the contexts in which non-standard varieties are more appropriate than Standard English.
“When communicating with friends and family, online or in other informal situations, “vernacular” or “colloquial” language is more appropriate… Not everyone will attain the vocabulary of Sir Humphrey Appleby or the linguistic style of Wordsworth, and while the use of highly vernacular language by others may be frustrating or grating, attempts to force people to speak or write in certain ways are usually met with resistance or resentment.” – Brendan Black, National Times, December 2 2010
“At least 3 major aeroplane crashes have been blamed on poor communication and misunderstanding… Speaking some English is not enough. It has to be the right kind of English, one agreed on by all flying nations.” – Philip Gooden, the Story of English: How the English Language Conquered the World
“All varieties have the same potential for complexity and richness of expression and there are no linguistic grounds for saying one is better than another. A non-standard dialect is as valid a communication system as the Standard. All dialects have rules; they just do things differently. Sentences like ‘I done all the cookin’ meself’ or ‘I don’t want nothin’ to eat’ are not errors of English, but errors of Standard English and labels like ‘sloppy’ and ‘bad’ are not only offensive but scientifically wrong-headed” – Kate Burridge, Proper English: Rhetoric or Reality?, 2003

The Standard English can be perceived, exclusively to prescriptivists, as intrinsically superior to other varieties due to the fact that it serves a vital purpose in many aspects of life; a standard language can be utilized as a vehicle of information delivery or as a common means of education, to name a few instances. While prescriptivists have good reason to place a high value of Standard English, there are also applicable circumstances wherein non-Standard varieties are far more appropriate to use as opposed to Standard English. Particularly in such a multi-cultural and diverse society in Australia, “when communicating with… family, ‘vernacular’ language is more appropriate” (Brendon Black, National Times). Similarly, the disregarded social dialect of Teenspeak is another form of colloquial, non-standard English that is far better suited for those that fit in with this age group. Solid intro, but is SE only valued by prescriptivists?
The Standard English, equipped with grammatically correct rules and usage, is undoubtedly seen as a superior variety. Philip Gooden in ‘the Story of English: How the English Language conquered the World’, attributes the necessity of properly and correctly speaking ‘the right kind of English’ as it could have prevented miscommunication and its subsequent major aeroplane crashes. Through this anecdote, Gooden makes clear the necessity for a uniform language with an established set of rules, ‘one agreed on by all flying nations’. Not only does the Standard English prove itself to be valuable in this sense, but the SE goes on to be incredibly essential in other instances too that justifies its perception as a ‘superior’ language. A standard language is not only ‘superior’ by its very nature, but can effectively elevate the social status of the speech community who utilizes it how?. This is particularly relevant for politicians who constantly speak the Standard Language on a daily basis as the language they use is closely linked to their public personas and is an essential element of their careers. Political speeches, much like the public apology former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd delivered in 2008, are one of the most clear-cut situations wherein the Standard English was not only superior to the other colloquial or foreign varieties he could have used, but also essential for his reputation and to uphold the sense of respect he held for the Indigenous audience he targeted. Give an example? More often than not, any instances where a politician is involved in the public eye are the very same contexts in which non-standard varieties are far from being appropriate be slightly mindful of Kevin Rudd's propensity to use non-Standard English; he called the Chinese people ratfuckers once. Ultimately, the purpose of a standard language serves within society, even one ravaged by colloquialisms and ethnolects, is what makes it to be perceived as intrinsically superior to others. no need to mention colloquialisms or ethnolects
Journalist Brendan Black brings attention to instances wherein people communicate “with friends… online or in other informal situations…” to be the most appropriate circumstances to speak in a non-standard variety. Teenspeak, for one, is perhaps the most viral dialect widely used in both verbal and online mediums among those in the ages of 13 to early 20s. Particularly in an online environment, more often than not where Teenspeak originates from these past two years, the presence of formalized English wouldn’t be welcome if the purpose of online communication was to socialize, chat and interact. In fact, standard or ‘correct’ language would be regarded as somewhat ‘pompous’, ‘snobby’ or ‘pretentious’ in online forums. This attitude is reflected in many popular YouTube channels such as ‘BrockBaker’ and ‘Jacksfilms’ as they regularly mock YouTube comments and when confronted with long-winded, correctly punctuated and elevated language, they address these comments as if they are not completely in touch with the online community and even adopt an exaggerated cultivated accent to emphasize the snobby nature of the comment.  examples? Too theoretical; you need concrete examples here. Also don't use contractions if you can help it. Link paragraphs; "however"?
Instead, the online community is laidback with its language, free to communicate in abbreviations and acronyms without having to capitalize letters and adopt various phrases and words that require a certain level of pop culture references to understand the semantics behind it examples of these abbreviations and acronyms?. All the while, despite abandoning a large majority of Standard English grammatical rules, the online speech community can be guaranteed that their audience will know that ‘Insta’ is short for ‘Instagram’, the popular photo-sharing social networking app and that viral phenomenon such as the dances ‘Harlem Shake’ and ‘Gangnam Style’ originated from online YouTube music videos. I'm not sure about the strength of these last examples; they don't prove much of a point to me
It is within the online community where the speech community witnesses a relaxation of the rules of the English language and adopts its own rules, all the while rejecting the formality of a Standard. only the online community?
In intimate social gatherings, perhaps with family members, with whom one shares the same ethnic background, it seems logical and almost necessary to adopt an ethnolect when speaking. That is, a second language that is highly influenced by their first. this sentence not needed An individual’s ethnolect is a reflection of a person’s value of their background and culture. While they have adopted a second language to speak, English in most cases, the influence of their first language illustrates a lingering connection that is closely tied with how a person perceives their own identity; a member of their cultural group. To share this language with others who feel the same way can go towards strengthening a relationship maybe less commentary? You have limited space in the exam. In the Filipino community within the Western Suburbs of Melbourne, many teenagers of second generation Filipinos often bond over their mutual heritage and nationality. Common topics of conversation among Australian-Filipinos include favourite places to visit within Philippines, referring them by their ‘correct’ Filipino pronunciation- Boracay, a hot spot for tourists, is pronounced in Tagalog as ‘boh-rah-ky’ as compared to the usual mispronunciation, ‘boh-rah-kay’ IPA would be great here if possible.  In addition to this, favourite foods are typically discussed, referring to them by their Tagalog names- ‘Adobo’ is one of the iconic Filipino savoury dishes which is Tagalog for soy chicken stew with vegetables.  explain the significance of this!
Ethnolects aid in developing bonds and is particularly exclusive to specific cultural groups. This non-standard dialect is a reflection of an individual’s background and identity. If replaced with a Standard English, then any trace of that person’s vulture everyone, awaken your internal vulture! would be removed from the way in which they speak and they would be out of place in an ethnic group who proudly uses this ethnolect on a daily basis. is an extra paragraph needed for  this? Also not sure how useful this commentary is
A Standard English proves itself to be valuable and even essential to many aspects of society revolving around international communication and political affairs. Hence, this may lead prescriptivists to perceive the Standard as a superior variety. However Kate Burridge in ‘Proper English: Rhetoric or Reality?’ acknowledges that this attitude is “offensive [and] scientifically wrong-headed”. She also alludes to the fact that a number of varieties, albeit non-standard, “is as valid a communication as the standard.” Teenspeak, online colloquialism and ethnolects have proved to be essential and far more appropriate in phatic communication than a standard ever will be. Their value as a dialect proves itself to be noteworthy and should, by no means, be considered as ‘inferior’.



Yay lots of quotes (:
Sometimes I feel you don't explain your examples, or you don't give enough examples. Your commentary is fine though
One thing to bear in mind; this essay is about 10% too long for the exam. Don't plan on writing 1000 word essays in 45 minutes, as there just isn't enough time. Which is something I'm still working on ):
But overall, good job (:



On the topic of Standard English, could someone look at mine? I've done lots of criticising; now it's your turn to return the favour :D
Yes, it's a bit too long. I'm still working on that bit. And yes I'm aware that I could have put in ethnolects, but I decided not to for this essay, otherwise it would have become even longer :P
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: maturegambino on November 01, 2013, 12:02:38 pm
thanks for the feedback! i'll definitely work on the examples (and the typos)
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: ECheong on November 01, 2013, 05:39:27 pm
On the topic of Standard English, could someone look at mine? I've done lots of criticising; now it's your turn to return the favour :D
Yes, it's a bit too long. I'm still working on that bit. And yes I'm aware that I could have put in ethnolects, but I decided not to for this essay, otherwise it would have become even longer :P

I'll take my best shot at it :D. Though, admittedly, this is a pretty daunting task bearing in mind all the excellent feedback you've given on this thread LOL


The question to ask is: ‘Why not use Standard English all the time?”
   Standard English (SE), as a codified and standardised variant of English, is the language of education and most formal affairs. Its usefulness stems from its clarity and connotations of overt prestige. However, SE’s standardised nature forbids the expression of any form of identity, such as group identities within friends, national identities or even individual identities. Therefore, although SE has its uses and is important to society, its sphere of application is nevertheless limited.
   SE allows messages to be communicated clearly to a wide audience. As it is the language of education, SE is the dialect of English understood by the largest proportion of English speakers, regardless of their country, cultural background or regional dialect. Therefore, SE is very effective in texts with an informative function, such as newspapers, corporate brochures and non-fiction books. Also, due to its widely known status, SE is inclusive, as opposed to regional dialects and slangThis link might have worked better if it was broken into two, see below. This is exemplified in the Immigration Department’s new guide for employers to reduce the amount of Australian slang in the workplace. According to the guide, common Australian expressions like “this machine is cactus”, “just bring a plate” and even the diminutive “arvo” are easily misunderstood by those of ethnic origin, even though they are readily understood by Australians and create rapport amongst Australians that understand these expressions due to their connotations of Australian cultureThis is a fairly heavy sentence. In contrast, SE, as the language of English education, does not present these issues and is a much more viable and inclusive means of communication in the workplace. Similarly, SE was used by Julia Gillard in her Motion of Condolence speech given in 2011. Due to the national audience, SE was necessary to ensure that all English speakers, regardless of their ethnicity and cultural background, would understand the speech. This universal comprehension meant that messages like “we offer those loved ones our deepest sympathies” and “it’s with very great sorrow that I offer words of condolence to Australians” reached the audience exactly as intended, and indicates the importance of SE when communicating to wide audiences.Strongly presented argument, at times a little more of an explicit link between your idea and the example might have served to increase coherence within the paragraph. The link you did provide, "due to its widely known status..." just needed a small phrase linking that to its inclusiveness. Perhaps, separating out the contrasting "regional dialects and slang" will allow you to elaborate further on how it's more inclusive.
   Equally, SE creates overt prestige through the user’s demonstration of education in the English language. As SE represents educationbit of a tenuous link here (as it stands) does education necessarily mean formality and authority?, its usage marks formality and authority, which is another reason why SE is used in government documents, newspapers and court documents as well as in formal settings in general. Therefore, one criterion the BBC mentioned this year to spot a scam is the lack of SE, demonstrating SE’s connotations of professionalism. Another example is Julia Gillard’s misogyny speech, given last year against Tony Abbott. Usage of SE in this instance reflected the formal parliamentary setting and Gillard’s status at the time as Prime Minister. Syntactically, complex sentences like “I was very offended on the behalf of the women in Australia when…the Leader of the Opposition said…” and parallelism evident by the repetition of utterances beginning with “I was offended” reinforce authority and formality, while constant lexical reference to the “Leader of the Opposition” highlights the social status of the man she was attacking, which reflects her own social status. When Gillard attacked Tony Abbott, her SE insults, like referring to Abbott as “hypocritical” and as a person “light on accepting responsibility”, or as a person who “needs a mirror” to “see what misogyny in Australia looks like”expression a bit odd here, typo? Also, perhaps a point to note is that SE is the language of institution, if Julia Gillard had presented her speech with non-standard features everywhere then would it have held as much weight within the 'institution' of government?. Although the dysphemistic connotations of her speech are apparent, the usage of SE nevertheless upholds the formality of the occasion and maintains the speech’s appropriateness. SE’s connotations of formality thus explain Burridge’s comment that “Standard English is perceived to be intrinsically superior to other varieties”.
   However, non-Standard English varieties are much more useful in social situations than SE Might need a bit more specificity here, perhaps bring in social intimacy or identity here?. The other side of Burridge’s comment is that “examples are easy to find where nonstandard dialects appear to do things better”. As mentioned above, SE reinforces authority and social distance, which is undesirable in social contexts. Non-Standard English, therefore, is capable of reducing social distance and creating rapport between interlocutors, something unachievable by SE. Swearing is an example of this. As mentioned by author Kate Holden, using the f-word is “the quickest way to relax an audience”. It creates covert prestige amongst a group by subverting societal norms to not swear, and thus strengthens group identity. Therefore, the f-word has acquired various semantic properties. It can denote indifference (f that), act as an intensifier (f-ing awesome), act as a dysphemistic insult (f-ing stupid or f you) and can even denote coitus, which was its original tabooed meaning, and all of these demonstrate the growing acceptance of this word. This was shown by Kevin Rudd’s leaked online video in 2012 about the “f-ing language”, in reference to learning a difficult Chinese speech, and how it did not alienate him from the public; rather, people praised Rudd for being human and Australian. Similarly, slang can, according to Burridge, “serve the dual purpose of solidarity and secrecy”. As a group-specific informal variety of English, slang can cement group identity and exclude unwanted people. In Australian hospitals, for instance, hospital staff have been known to use the initialism “FLK” (funny looking kid), the adjective “cactus” (dead) and the dysphemistic “crumbles” (old and frail patients on the verge of death). Through such dehumanising language, the hospital staff members allow themselves to better deal with the reality of their job, identify caring for such patients as routine, identify shared interests and thus create group identity, while simultaneously creating a code incomprehensible to others, objectives not achievable through SE. Therefore, the effectiveness of non-Standard English in reducing social distance demonstrates the shortcomings of SE and why it should not be used all the time.
   Furthermore, non-Standard English varieties have greater linguistic freedom to create meaning. SE’s standardised nature means its vocabulary takes a much longer time to expand. In contrast, non-Standard neologisms may be coined at any time to express certain meanings more concisely than would have been possible in SE. This is the basis for many morphological word formation processes. Blends, like “chillax”, a blend of chill and relax meaning to calm down; and “vomatose”, a blend of vomit and comatose to denote something disgusting; and compounds, like “tree hugger” for extreme environmentalists; and “couch potato”, denoting a physically lazy person, combine semantic properties from the words used in their formation to concisely communicate specific meanings that SE lacks words for. These creative word formation processes also reflect the changes made to society and these are often sped up through the speed of online communication. Some neologisms reflect the advent of technology, like “memes”, referring to mimicked themes denoted by humorous pictures and words or the blend “geobragging”, constantly bragging about a person’s geographical location to gain attention. Others reflect important events in society, such as “twerking”, to denote Miley Cyrus’s performance habit of a protruding bottom and the compound “mummy porn”, which came to popularity following the publication of the novel “Fifty Shades of Grey”. Still other neologisms are formed mainly for humorous purposes, like the blend “bozone”, a blend of “bogus” and “ozone” referring to a substance surrounding stupid people that obstructs intelligence and “typochondriac”, a blend of “hypochondriac” and “type” to denote a fear of proofreading. Here, the humour derives from the blending of ozone, which is chemical jargon, and stupidity, which is ostensibly the polar opposite of the connotations of jargon, and from the phonological, semantic and morphological similarities between “hypochondriac” and “typochondriac”, and such humorous language play is not as feasible with SE. Therefore, non-Standard English has a much wider palette of linguistic resources at its disposal and is hence more versatile than SE.
   SE is the main tool of communication in society due to its clarity, formality and overt prestige. It is the language of choice for the government, media and business for these reasons. However, SE’s standardised nature and its formality may be obstacles in effective and enjoyable social communication. Therefore, SE is a useful tool of communication in general, but it is just one linguistic tool out of many.

Overall, VERY well substantiated essay, your examples very strongly supported your arguments and by extension your contention. I would note however, at times the examples lacked a slight link between your 'idea' and your examples. Metalanguage criteria wise, good demonstration of understanding. In terms of ideas and structure, fairly well balanced and tightly structured; each argument was pertinent to your contention and was argued in a logical order. At times though the number of examples might potentially have detracted from the argument of the paragraph (your final paragraph is what brought this point up for me) you did offer analysis but some of the examples there were longing for some even deeper exploration, there were some very interesting examples such as "typochondriac" and "geobragging" where a deeper analysis into why they were humorous as well as why they were non-standard would have strengthened the paragraph even more.

All in all, well argued and evidenced essay. Expression occasionally gets a bit heavy but to be completely honest that's just nitpicking :) 

Edit: added just a comment in the latter half of the essay cause I was very tired the first time I went through it :)


Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: echeongrocks on November 01, 2013, 11:30:49 pm
Hi you guys! ^_^ i'm new here
it would be fantastic if i could grab feedback on this essay :)

Language and identity are inextricably linked. How is this reflected in the current Australian context? Refer to at least two subsystems of language in your response.

There is a distinct marriage between language and identity. Whether it be on an individual, national or even global scale, language has shown to be one significant means of fostering identity, particularly in contemporary Australia. The iconic Australian variety of English (AE) stands confident and strong in reflecting the identity of its speakers. Moreover, the 21st century has seen AE expand to accommodate Australia’s increasingly multicultural nature, while also evolve to successfully distinguish itself from other varieties of English. Finally, while language effectively articulates national identity, Australia’s increasingly prominent position in the global arena is further evidenced in AE.

The Australian national identity is reflected in the iconic variety of Australian English. Despite the expansion of AE, the fundamental values of Australians are still largely pronounced. Examples that demonstrate this idea include the conversion ‘bludger’ (from ‘to bludge’), idiomatic phrases such as ‘fair go’ and non-politically correct language including ‘witch’ (Sydney Morning Herald, 2013, with regard to former prime minister Julia Gillard). More specifically, these language features represent the fundamental Australian values of being carefree, egalitarian, and anti-authoritarian. Additionally, on a phonological level, it is evidenced that AE and our unique identity are inextricably linked. In fact, AE phonology has undergone significant adaptation because a confident language necessitates a confident new national image in the 21st century. Australians no longer perceive their voice as an ‘offense to the mother tongue’ (Churchill), but rather the General Australia accent - spoken by 90% of Australians - is now renowned due to its subtle uniqueness. A prime example of this is the GPS recording of Australian actress/singer Karen Jacobsen whose voiceover was voted most popular among British and American consumers in 2010. Moreover, they described her voice as ‘fresh’ and ‘mellifluous’, which indicates that the national variety is distinguishable, even at times preferred, among others. This is very different from Australia’s insecure past image. This relinquishment of the Broad Australian accent or ‘Strine’ indicates a newfound assertiveness of the national identity and that we no longer have the overt need to distinguish ourselves. In this way, both the attitudes and new national image of Australians are manifested in AE.

Australia’s diverse cultural identity is also reflected in the national language. In particular, the influx of migrants to contemporary Australian society has changed the dynamics of our language. This diversity is represented in lexical additions to our vernacular, including the backronym slang slur ‘wog’ and the acronym ‘FOB’ (‘Fresh Off Boat’). These lexemes reflect, not only a multicultural identity, but also various attitudes that reside within it. In current Australian contexts, this pejorative lexis has undergone a process of reclamation. That is, marginalized locutors have expanded the usage of the terms such that they are not used to discriminate but rather create solidarity. For example, this is relevant to the phrase ‘wog pride’ used by those of Mediterranean descent or the sentence ‘Me and my FOBS will be there’ by first-generation migrants, especially of Asian heritage. Here, language is creating a common identity between individuals. Furthermore, there has been a movement away from using Indigenous Australian words, such as ‘hard yakka’ and ‘bung’. However, there are still regional lexemes such as ‘Wagga Wagga’ and ‘Uluru’. All of these changes are representative of Australians having a multicultural and more “global identity”, rather than just that of the ‘land down under’.

Our language is also an articulation of how globalisation has impacted the country. Notably, aspects of American English infiltrated contemporary Australian English as we begin to succumb to America’s cultural hegemony. Due to America’s political and media influences, common Americanisms in Australian English include lexemes such as ‘hey’ and ‘dude’, as well as syntactic nuances, such as replacing the adverbial ‘well’ with the adjective ‘good’ in ‘you did good [well]’ and ‘I did good on that test’. These differences illustrate Australia’s movement towards the ‘sun that is America’ and as such, the shift away from parochialism. Additionally, technological advancements, in particular the Internet with social media, have accelerated the effects of globalisation and as a result language change is noticeable much more quickly. ‘Netspeak’ as a dialectal manifestation of this language change reflects the identity of individuals, most often young people. This online vernacular includes morphological conventions such as acronyms like ‘STFU’ (‘shut the f*** up’) and contractions such as ‘tomo’ (for tomorrow). This online vernacular is mutually understood among users globally which indicates that we are beginning to relate and identify globally with people of mutual generation
more significantly than on a national level.

Concepts of language and identity are constantly in a state of flux. The Australian variety of English showcases our unique national identity and fundamental values. However, interconnectivity between countries and the move towards a global identity is also evidenced in our language. Moreover, the advent of e-communication and the Internet provoke predictions of the future of language, but also importantly how it will inevitably continue to reflect and facilitate identity. To this end, language and identity are indubitably intertwined. 

T:1h
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: ECheong on November 01, 2013, 11:36:58 pm
jesus christ julie LMFAO
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: HossRyams on November 01, 2013, 11:38:58 pm
jesus christ julie LMFAO

Yeah, "Julie"
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: lzxnl on November 01, 2013, 11:58:39 pm
I'll take my best shot at it :D. Though, admittedly, this is a pretty daunting task bearing in mind all the excellent feedback you've given on this thread LOL


The question to ask is: ‘Why not use Standard English all the time?”
   Standard English (SE), as a codified and standardised variant of English, is the language of education and most formal affairs. Its usefulness stems from its clarity and connotations of overt prestige. However, SE’s standardised nature forbids the expression of any form of identity, such as group identities within friends, national identities or even individual identities. Therefore, although SE has its uses and is important to society, its sphere of application is nevertheless limited.
   SE allows messages to be communicated clearly to a wide audience. As it is the language of education, SE is the dialect of English understood by the largest proportion of English speakers, regardless of their country, cultural background or regional dialect. Therefore, SE is very effective in texts with an informative function, such as newspapers, corporate brochures and non-fiction books. Also, due to its widely known status, SE is inclusive, as opposed to regional dialects and slangThis link might have worked better if it was broken into two, see below. This is exemplified in the Immigration Department’s new guide for employers to reduce the amount of Australian slang in the workplace. According to the guide, common Australian expressions like “this machine is cactus”, “just bring a plate” and even the diminutive “arvo” are easily misunderstood by those of ethnic origin, even though they are readily understood by Australians and create rapport amongst Australians that understand these expressions due to their connotations of Australian cultureThis is a fairly heavy sentence. In contrast, SE, as the language of English education, does not present these issues and is a much more viable and inclusive means of communication in the workplace. Similarly, SE was used by Julia Gillard in her Motion of Condolence speech given in 2011. Due to the national audience, SE was necessary to ensure that all English speakers, regardless of their ethnicity and cultural background, would understand the speech. This universal comprehension meant that messages like “we offer those loved ones our deepest sympathies” and “it’s with very great sorrow that I offer words of condolence to Australians” reached the audience exactly as intended, and indicates the importance of SE when communicating to wide audiences.Strongly presented argument, at times a little more of an explicit link between your idea and the example might have served to increase coherence within the paragraph. The link you did provide, "due to its widely known status..." just needed a small phrase linking that to its inclusiveness. Perhaps, separating out the contrasting "regional dialects and slang" will allow you to elaborate further on how it's more inclusive.
   Equally, SE creates overt prestige through the user’s demonstration of education in the English language. As SE represents educationbit of a tenuous link here (as it stands) does education necessarily mean formality and authority?, its usage marks formality and authority, which is another reason why SE is used in government documents, newspapers and court documents as well as in formal settings in general. Therefore, one criterion the BBC mentioned this year to spot a scam is the lack of SE, demonstrating SE’s connotations of professionalism. Another example is Julia Gillard’s misogyny speech, given last year against Tony Abbott. Usage of SE in this instance reflected the formal parliamentary setting and Gillard’s status at the time as Prime Minister. Syntactically, complex sentences like “I was very offended on the behalf of the women in Australia when…the Leader of the Opposition said…” and parallelism evident by the repetition of utterances beginning with “I was offended” reinforce authority and formality, while constant lexical reference to the “Leader of the Opposition” highlights the social status of the man she was attacking, which reflects her own social status. When Gillard attacked Tony Abbott, her SE insults, like referring to Abbott as “hypocritical” and as a person “light on accepting responsibility”, or as a person who “needs a mirror” to “see what misogyny in Australia looks like”expression a bit odd here, typo? Also, perhaps a point to note is that SE is the language of institution, if Julia Gillard had presented her speech with non-standard features everywhere then would it have held as much weight within the 'institution' of government?. Although the dysphemistic connotations of her speech are apparent, the usage of SE nevertheless upholds the formality of the occasion and maintains the speech’s appropriateness. SE’s connotations of formality thus explain Burridge’s comment that “Standard English is perceived to be intrinsically superior to other varieties”.
   However, non-Standard English varieties are much more useful in social situations than SE Might need a bit more specificity here, perhaps bring in social intimacy or identity here?. The other side of Burridge’s comment is that “examples are easy to find where nonstandard dialects appear to do things better”. As mentioned above, SE reinforces authority and social distance, which is undesirable in social contexts. Non-Standard English, therefore, is capable of reducing social distance and creating rapport between interlocutors, something unachievable by SE. Swearing is an example of this. As mentioned by author Kate Holden, using the f-word is “the quickest way to relax an audience”. It creates covert prestige amongst a group by subverting societal norms to not swear, and thus strengthens group identity. Therefore, the f-word has acquired various semantic properties. It can denote indifference (f that), act as an intensifier (f-ing awesome), act as a dysphemistic insult (f-ing stupid or f you) and can even denote coitus, which was its original tabooed meaning, and all of these demonstrate the growing acceptance of this word. This was shown by Kevin Rudd’s leaked online video in 2012 about the “f-ing language”, in reference to learning a difficult Chinese speech, and how it did not alienate him from the public; rather, people praised Rudd for being human and Australian. Similarly, slang can, according to Burridge, “serve the dual purpose of solidarity and secrecy”. As a group-specific informal variety of English, slang can cement group identity and exclude unwanted people. In Australian hospitals, for instance, hospital staff have been known to use the initialism “FLK” (funny looking kid), the adjective “cactus” (dead) and the dysphemistic “crumbles” (old and frail patients on the verge of death). Through such dehumanising language, the hospital staff members allow themselves to better deal with the reality of their job, identify caring for such patients as routine, identify shared interests and thus create group identity, while simultaneously creating a code incomprehensible to others, objectives not achievable through SE. Therefore, the effectiveness of non-Standard English in reducing social distance demonstrates the shortcomings of SE and why it should not be used all the time.
   Furthermore, non-Standard English varieties have greater linguistic freedom to create meaning. SE’s standardised nature means its vocabulary takes a much longer time to expand. In contrast, non-Standard neologisms may be coined at any time to express certain meanings more concisely than would have been possible in SE. This is the basis for many morphological word formation processes. Blends, like “chillax”, a blend of chill and relax meaning to calm down; and “vomatose”, a blend of vomit and comatose to denote something disgusting; and compounds, like “tree hugger” for extreme environmentalists; and “couch potato”, denoting a physically lazy person, combine semantic properties from the words used in their formation to concisely communicate specific meanings that SE lacks words for. These creative word formation processes also reflect the changes made to society and these are often sped up through the speed of online communication. Some neologisms reflect the advent of technology, like “memes”, referring to mimicked themes denoted by humorous pictures and words or the blend “geobragging”, constantly bragging about a person’s geographical location to gain attention. Others reflect important events in society, such as “twerking”, to denote Miley Cyrus’s performance habit of a protruding bottom and the compound “mummy porn”, which came to popularity following the publication of the novel “Fifty Shades of Grey”. Still other neologisms are formed mainly for humorous purposes, like the blend “bozone”, a blend of “bogus” and “ozone” referring to a substance surrounding stupid people that obstructs intelligence and “typochondriac”, a blend of “hypochondriac” and “type” to denote a fear of proofreading. Here, the humour derives from the blending of ozone, which is chemical jargon, and stupidity, which is ostensibly the polar opposite of the connotations of jargon, and from the phonological, semantic and morphological similarities between “hypochondriac” and “typochondriac”, and such humorous language play is not as feasible with SE. Therefore, non-Standard English has a much wider palette of linguistic resources at its disposal and is hence more versatile than SE.
   SE is the main tool of communication in society due to its clarity, formality and overt prestige. It is the language of choice for the government, media and business for these reasons. However, SE’s standardised nature and its formality may be obstacles in effective and enjoyable social communication. Therefore, SE is a useful tool of communication in general, but it is just one linguistic tool out of many.

Overall, VERY well substantiated essay, your examples very strongly supported your arguments and by extension your contention. I would note however, at times the examples lacked a slight link between your 'idea' and your examples. Metalanguage criteria wise, good demonstration of understanding. In terms of ideas and structure, fairly well balanced and tightly structured; each argument was pertinent to your contention and was argued in a logical order. At times though the number of examples might potentially have detracted from the argument of the paragraph (your final paragraph is what brought this point up for me) you did offer analysis but some of the examples there were longing for some even deeper exploration, there were some very interesting examples such as "typochondriac" and "geobragging" where a deeper analysis into why they were humorous as well as why they were non-standard would have strengthened the paragraph even more.

All in all, well argued and evidenced essay. Expression occasionally gets a bit heavy but to be completely honest that's just nitpicking :) 

Edit: added just a comment in the latter half of the essay cause I was very tired the first time I went through it :)


Thanks, I'll take those on board (: for an actual exam, I'll cut out lots of the examples out anyway as I can't afford such a long essay.
Point about specificity taken; I have a tendency to do that.

Hi you guys! ^_^ i'm new here
it would be fantastic if i could grab feedback on this essay :)

Language and identity are inextricably linked. How is this reflected in the current Australian context? Refer to at least two subsystems of language in your response.

There is a distinct marriage between language and identity. Whether it be on an individual, national or even global scale, language has shown to be one significant means of fostering identity, particularly in contemporary Australia. The iconic Australian variety of English (AE) stands confident and strong in reflecting the identity of its speakers. Moreover, the 21st century only 21st? has seen AE expand to accommodate Australia’s increasingly multicultural nature, while also evolve to successfully distinguish itself from other varieties of English. Finally, while language effectively articulates national identity, Australia’s increasingly prominent position in the global arena is further evidenced in AE. I don't think contentions are best begun with "finally"; makes it sound like part of a list as opposed to an important point in itself. Otherwise, good intro

The Australian national identity is reflected in the iconic variety of Australian English. Despite the expansion of AE, the fundamental values of Australians are still largely pronounced. Examples that demonstrate this idea include the conversion ‘bludger’ (from ‘to bludge’), idiomatic phrases such as ‘fair go’ and non-politically correct language including ‘witch’ (Sydney Morning Herald, 2013, with regard to former prime minister Julia Gillard). More specifically, these language features represent the fundamental Australian values of being carefree, egalitarian, and anti-authoritarian. be specific with each one; don't gloss over all of them like this at once Additionally, on a phonological level, it is evidenced that AE and our unique identity are inextricably linked. In fact, AE phonology has undergone significant adaptation because a confident language necessitates a confident new national image in the 21st century. Australians no longer perceive their voice as an ‘offense to the mother tongue’ (Churchill), but rather the General Australia accent - spoken by 90% of Australians - is now renowned due to its subtle uniqueness. A prime example of this is the GPS recording of Australian actress/singer Karen Jacobsen whose voiceover was voted most popular among British and American consumers in 2010. Moreover, they described her voice as ‘fresh’ and ‘mellifluous’, which indicates that the national variety is distinguishable, even at times preferred, among others. This is very different from Australia’s insecure past image what past image? Mention? . This relinquishment of the Broad Australian accent or ‘Strine’ indicates a newfound assertiveness of the national identity and that we no longer have the overt need to distinguish ourselves. This point needs developing; I'm not quite sure what you're trying to say here. In this way, both the attitudes and new national image of Australians are manifested in AE. Overall sound paragraph, but the last point slightly weakened it

Australia’s diverse cultural identity is also reflected in the national language are these examples part of the national language? wog and fob don't seem like it.... In particular, the influx of migrants to contemporary Australian society has changed the dynamics of our language. This diversity is represented in lexical additions to our vernacular, including the backronym slang slur ‘wog’ and the acronym ‘FOB’ (‘Fresh Off Boat’). These lexemes reflect, not only a multicultural identity, but also various attitudes that reside within it. In current Australian contexts, this pejorative lexis has undergone a process of reclamation. That is, marginalized locutors have expanded the usage of the terms such that they are not used to discriminate but rather create solidarity. For example, this is relevant to the phrase ‘wog pride’ used by those of Mediterranean descent or the sentence ‘Me and my FOBS will be there’ by first-generation migrants, especially of Asian heritage. Here, language is creating a common identity between individuals. Furthermore, there has been a movement away from using Indigenous Australian words, such as ‘hard yakka’ and ‘bung’. what's the point of this? However, there are still regional lexemes such as ‘Wagga Wagga’ and ‘Uluru’. All of these changes are representative of Australians having a multicultural and more “global identity”, rather than just that of the ‘land down under’. I don't quite like your last point; place names are quite hard to change and these were established earlier

Our language is also an articulation of how globalisation has impacted the country. Notably, aspects of American English infiltrated contemporary Australian English as we begin to succumb to America’s cultural hegemony be careful so that you don't contradict your first paragraph. Due to America’s political and media influences, common Americanisms in Australian English include lexemes such as ‘hey’ and ‘dude’, as well as syntactic nuances, such as replacing the adverbial ‘well’ with the adjective ‘good’ in ‘you did good [well]’ and ‘I did good on that test’ is this the best example there is? Media example?. These differences illustrate Australia’s movement towards the ‘sun that is America’ and as such, the shift away from parochialism. Additionally, technological advancements, in particular the Internet with social media, have accelerated the effects of globalisation and as a result language change is noticeable much more quickly. ‘Netspeak’ as a dialectal manifestation of this language change reflects the identity of individuals, most often young people. This online vernacular includes morphological conventions such as acronyms like ‘STFU’ (‘shut the f*** up’) and contractions such as ‘tomo’ (for tomorrow). This online vernacular is mutually understood among users globally which indicates that we are beginning to relate and identify globally with people of mutual generation if you mention online language, best not to just briefly mention it like this as online language is TOO diverse. Plus, I'd hardly say that older generations can't work out what STFU and tomo mean
more significantly than on a national level.

Concepts of language and identity are constantly in a state of flux. The Australian variety of English showcases our unique national identity and fundamental values. However, interconnectivity between countries and the move towards a global identity sort of an oxymoron; a "global identity" as in one shared by the world? Huh!? is also evidenced in our language. Moreover, the advent of e-communication and the Internet provoke predictions of the future of language you didn't mention this in your main body, but also importantly how it will inevitably continue to reflect and facilitate identity. To this end, language and identity are indubitably intertwined. 

T:1h

Overall, your examples are sound and your commentary is generally ok, with good use of metalanguage. However, you tend to tack on undeveloped arguments to the ends of your paragraphs which doesn't help them; it weakens your paragraphs. Either develop them, or omit them.
Sometimes, your points aren't too clear as well, but those are small issues. Occasionally you could do with better and more revealing examples xP
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: echeongrocks on November 02, 2013, 01:04:52 am
Thanks pal! Great advice, i'll definitely take on board :)
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Piglet101 on November 03, 2013, 12:24:54 pm
Any feedback is appreciated :)
Thanks in advance!

Insight 2013 - Question 10
Discuss the role of covert linguistic practices in establishing group solidarity. Refer to two or more subsystem in your response.


Covert linguistic practices serve the purpose of establishing group solidarity and meeting positive face needs. In contemporary Australia, the use of covertly prestigious language shifts according to the context and intentions of the speaker. For instance, during family or ethnic meetings, individuals are more inclined to demonstrate covert language as it meets the culture and tradition of those around them. Likewise, Australian English is covertly prestigious among Australians as it embraces Australian culture and conveys national pride. This is reinforced by the negative attitudes towards the increase in Americanisation of Australian Lingo.  Furthermore, Australian adolescents rely on non-standard Australian English (AE) to obtain covert prestige among their peers and to construct their identity as the “youth of Australia”. This is demonstrated through lexicology, morphology and phonology.

Australians have the tendency to change their language under ethnic and family situations, in order to accommodate to the context and values of others. For example , Lebanese speakers commonly employ vocatives such as “brother” and “sister” to show respect, meet positive face needs and ultimately to reduce the social distance between interlocutors. Code switching is another device employed by Australians in order to enhance effective communication and to signify membership in an ethnic community. The knowledge of sharing a common language and culture not only strengthens the relationship between participants but also reinforces one’s cultural identity. On the other hand, during family contexts, members may use inferences and several lexemes such as “Toby” in reference to the family cat to again aid in effective communication, but also to increase group solidarity between family members. Since such inferences can only be understood by those with the family, the language employed has an inclusionary effect. Therefore, the shift in language to better suit family and cultural events, all so helps to strengthen the relationship and meet positive face needs of the participants.

Australian lingo not only reinforces our Australian identity but also brings the people of Australia closer as nation. The creeping influence of American culture in Australia’s vernacular has been a building issue in today’s society. For example, the cherished Australian vocative “mate” has been observed to be dominated by the American vocative “buddy”. The American influence in this case has be frowned upon by the general public as it is believed to have changed Australia’s image of being relaxed and down to earth. Conversely, when the Australian expressions “no worries” and “fair enough” are employed, it not only conveys Australia’s egalitarian and friendly nature but all so reinforces the membership to the Australian community.  Likewise, the difference between the standard, “I’m having a barbeque at my house this afternoon” compared to the Australian slang version “I’m havin’ a barbie at my house this arvo” is a perfect portrayal of Australia’s warm and welcoming nature. It sounds more inviting and intimate; thereby it closes social distance and creates covert prestige. In addition, the popularised Australianised lexeme “brah” is a construction of the American slang term “bro” where the diphthong /oʊ/ is reduced to the weaker monophthong /a/. This phonological reduction again reflects the informal, casual nature of Australians which is favoured among the public as it is supports national pride and identity. Thus the covert Australian lingo is practiced in today’s society as it establishes group solidarity and reinforces one’s Australian identity.

The identity of Australian teenagers is affiliated with non-standard Australian English, which helps to establish group solidarity between members of the same generation.  Adolescents are renowned for their rebellious and wild personalities. This is reflected through the inclusive and exclusive nature of the language, as supported by Philippa Law’s claim that “Teenagers have a particular desire to keep in with their peers and keep secrets from others that’s why teenage slang changes so quickly and why parents and mainstream media are always one step behind.” This exclusionary effect is further supported by abbreviations such as “POS”, which stands for “Parents Over the Shoulder”. This is employed commonly by teens to create a warning or to secretly signify to others the current situation. Teens all so create non-standard neologisms such as the blended items “Mascary” (someone who wears a scary amount of mascara) and “intexicated” (a state of distraction cause by texting), which reinforces social identity and maintain the spontaneous and ‘fresh’ impression that teenspeak carries.  Covert linguistic practices evident in teenspeak help to identify members who do not belong, and primarily establish in group solidarity between those who do.

During certain contexts, such as with family or cultural communities, language changes from overt AE to a more covertly prestigious form in order to establish group solidarity and reinforce the relationship between interlocutors. Furthermore, the use of Australian lingo in contemporary Australia meets the positive face needs of the public and reflects one’s Australian identity. This helps to close social distance and thereby meet positive needs.  This is all so demonstrated in teenspeak where covert linguistic practices are heavily relied on to maintain the identity as Australian adolescents. It serves the purpose to both include and exclude others in one’s social group and ultimately non-standard AE is employed among teens to develop and build group solidarity.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: lzxnl on November 03, 2013, 05:46:22 pm
Any feedback is appreciated :)
Thanks in advance!

Insight 2013 - Question 10
Discuss the role of covert linguistic practices in establishing group solidarity. Refer to two or more subsystem in your response.


Covert linguistic practices serve the purpose of establishing group solidarity and meeting positive face needs. In contemporary Australia, the use of covertly prestigious language shifts according to the context and intentions of the speaker. For instance, during family or ethnic meetings, individuals are more inclined to demonstrate covert language I don't feel comfortable with this phrasing as it meets the culture and tradition of those around them. Likewise, Australian English is covertly prestigious among Australians as it embraces Australian culture and conveys national pride. This is reinforced by the negative attitudes towards the increase in Americanisation of Australian Lingo.  Furthermore, Australian adolescents rely on non-standard Australian English (AE) to obtain covert prestige among their peers and to construct their identity as the “youth of Australia”. This is demonstrated through lexicology, morphology and phonology. contention?

Australians have the tendency to change their language under ethnic and family situations, in order to accommodate to the context and values of others weak topic sentence; not too linked to topic. For example , Lebanese speakers commonly employ vocatives such as “brother” and “sister” to show respect, meet positive face needs and ultimately to reduce the social distance between interlocutors. one example skimmed over like this isn't particularly strong Code switching is another device employed by Australians in order to enhance effective communication and to signify membership in an ethnic community. The knowledge of sharing a common language and culture not only strengthens the relationship between participants but also reinforces one’s cultural identity need examples here. On the other hand, during family contexts, members may use inferences and several lexemes such as “Toby” in reference to the family cat to again aid in effective communication, but also to increase group solidarity between family members most pertinent example you can come up with?. Since such inferences can only be understood by those with the family, the language employed has an inclusionary inclusive? effect. Therefore, the shift in language to better suit family and cultural events, all so helps to strengthen the relationship and meet positive face needs of the participants. I'm not too sure about the examples of this essay

Australian lingo not only reinforces our Australian identity but also brings the people of Australia closer as nation. The creeping influence of American culture in Australia’s vernacular has been a building issue in today’s society a bit of a large jump from your topic sentence. For example, the cherished Australian vocative “mate” has been observed to be dominated by the American vocative “buddy”. The American influence in this case has be frowned upon by the general public as it is believed to have changed Australia’s image of being relaxed and down to earth diluting the identity?. Conversely, when the Australian expressions “no worries” and “fair enough” are employed, it not only conveys Australia’s egalitarian and friendly nature but all so reinforces the membership to the Australian community.  Likewise, the difference between the standard, “I’m having a barbeque at my house this afternoon” compared to the Australian slang version “I’m havin’ a barbie at my house this arvo” metalanguage! is a perfect portrayal of Australia’s warm and welcoming nature. It sounds more inviting and intimate; thereby it closes social distance and creates covert prestige. In addition, the popularised Australianised lexeme “brah” is a construction of the American slang term “bro” where the diphthong /oʊ/ is reduced to the weaker monophthong /a/. This phonological reduction again reflects the informal, casual nature of Australians which is favoured among the public as it is supports national pride and identity. Thus the covert Australian lingo is practiced in today’s society as it establishes group solidarity and reinforces one’s Australian identity. I think it would have been stronger to focus on one subsystem here

The identity of Australian teenagers is affiliated with non-standard Australian English, which helps to establish group solidarity between members of the same generation.  Adolescents are renowned for their rebellious and wild personalities. This is reflected through the inclusive and exclusive nature of the language, as supported by Philippa Law’s claim that “Teenagers have a particular desire to keep in with their peers and keep secrets from others that’s why teenage slang changes so quickly and why parents and mainstream media are always one step behind.” This exclusionary effect is further supported by abbreviations such as “POS”, which stands for “Parents Over the Shoulder”. This is employed commonly by teens to create a warning or to secretly signify to others the current situation to exclude?. Teens all so create non-standard neologisms such as the blended items “Mascary” (someone who wears a scary amount of mascara) and “intexicated” (a state of distraction cause by texting), which reinforces social identity and maintain the spontaneous and ‘fresh’ please keep this formal impression that teenspeak carries.  Covert linguistic practices evident in teenspeak help to identify members who do not belong, and primarily establish in group solidarity between those who do. topic sentence sounds funny now. Topic sentence too broad; you only seem to cover a small portion of non-Standard English

During certain contexts, such as with family or cultural communities, language changes from overt AE to a more covertly prestigious form in order to establish group solidarity and reinforce the relationship between interlocutors. Furthermore, the use of Australian lingo in contemporary Australia meets the positive face needs of the public and reflects one’s Australian identity. This helps to close social distance and thereby meet positive needs does using Australian language meet positive face needs at all? I don't see how; if it does, at least explain it.  This is all so spelling? demonstrated in teenspeak where covert linguistic practices are heavily relied on to maintain the identity as Australian adolescents. It serves the purpose to both include and exclude others in one’s social group and ultimately non-standard AE is employed among teens to develop and build group solidarity. concluding sentence?

You have some ok ideas here, but I feel you jump around a bit too much. You need depth over breadth; that will get you more marks. Also, some of your examples really aren't the best, nor do they prove your point well. Try and pick some examples from the media.
Also, your essay appears to lack important components, like concluding sentences to the introduction and the conclusion. Be mindful.

Otherwise, a fair effort!
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Piglet101 on November 03, 2013, 05:58:31 pm
Thank you so much for your feedback!
I'll try focus on all those areas for my next essay. Hopefully I improve before the exam!  :)
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: jenny_kim on November 08, 2013, 09:26:21 pm
Hi all,
I'm new here, was just wondering if one of you could give me feedback on my essay?

Be as critical as you want!!!! i need it.
cheers.

Discuss some of the driving forces that lead to language change in the Australian context. Refer to at least two subsystems in your response. (VCAA 2010)

Australian English, like any other variety, has undergone change in the past, and continues to change today. This change is driven by several factors. Evidenced through the past reform of Australian English, as well as the demographic growth and expansion of the nation’s population, the changing nature of language mirrors the internal factors that change within society. Moreover, other external factors continue to develop Australian society, thus coercing the language to reflect its multifaceted and fluxing nature.

The development of an Australian identity, independent of Britain, has altered Australian language, especially in the 20th century. The desire for Australia to create an identity separate from its ‘mother nation,’ Britain, can be exemplified through the changing attitudes towards Received Pronunciation which was once overt prestige, and any stray away from standard English was “not Australian English, it was bad English” (Donald Horne). Newsreaders, as well as elitists throughout the earlier stages of the 20th century within Australia used RP, which manifested itself into the cultivated accent, until approximately the Second World War. Diphthongisation of vowels, characteristic of RP, was perceived to be associated with British Imperialism along with its notions of linguistic correctness and social hierarchy (which was recognised within the UK.) Robert J Menzies (1939), former Prime Minister of Australia’s declaration of World War One was addressed through the cultivated Australian accent. Menzies opened with “Fellow Australians …Great Britain has declared war against her (Germany), and that as a result, Australia is also at war.” Phonetically, Robert Menzies displays a linkage between UK English and Australian English through his cultivated accent but also semantically addresses the national status of Australia – governmentally married to UK and yet to become independently self-governing. Consequently, the linkage can be seen through language. The Broad Australian accent, which was also prevalent at the time, was ridiculed by its nasal twang and deduced by prescriptivists as non-standard. Though, the growing national attitude to become independent of Britain empowered the desire for Australia to also establish an independent language. As a result, RP, diminished rapidly within the later stages of the 20th century, leaving the general accent to prevail. This can be seen through the existing accents of newsreaders such as Jennie Brockie (SBS Insight TV show host) and actress Nicole Kidman who speak with the general accent. Thus, the reform of government demonstrates a past driving force of language change within the Australian context, as seen through the phonetic digression away from RP and the cultivated accent.

Demographic changes in Australian society have changed Australian English, in particular by broadening the lexical scope. The influx of immigrants after the First World War also invited waves of lexical items. These have now become well established within the nation’s rich lexical repertoire, and are recognised by most Australians. The Italian dish, ‘Parmagianna’ has been hypocoristically altered, as seen by slogans such as “Try the best Parmie in Melbourne” (Palmerston Hotel, South Melbourne, 2013) or to the alternative “Parma” to showcase the wide acceptance of foreign nouns which have now been adopted into the vocabulary of many Australians. This can also be seen through the colloquial noun, “spag-bol” shortened from the Italian dish “spaghetti Bolognese,” or the more recently acquired “k-bbq,” acronym standing for “Korean Barbecue.” In spite of this, the cultural exposure that continues to proliferate the Australian lexicon has also fostered negative language change, giving rise to racist slang. Recent encounter of a French tourist racially tyrannised by Sydney locals on a public bus spotlighted new racial slang as exemplified through the acronym “S.O.D” (speak English or die motherfucker). Similarly, such racist slang can also be seen through dismissive labels such as “curry-muncher,” “chink,” ”gook,” “abo,” “wog,” “whites” and “poms,” just to name a few. Indeed, as Australian culture has and continues to be diversified, the language changes relatively, broadening the lexical scope in negative and positive ways. 

External cultural influences have also left their mark on Australian English, notably in the form of Americanisms and ethnolects. With the assistance of technology, the Internet in particular, AE has managed to adopt colloquialism as well as spellings from varieties such as American English. For instance, the Standard American English spelled suffix “-ize” is becoming widely adopted by Australians despite the standard Australian spelling “-ise.” The influence of Americanisms can also be seen through the phonetic pronunciation and spelling of “ass,” contrasting to the Australian pronunciation and spelling  “arse.” It seems that older generations of Australian prefer the pronunciation and spelling ‘arse’ whereas younger generations employ the spelling and pronunciation “ass,” and there are also those who spell the lexeme as ‘ass’ but however pronounce it as ‘arse.’  This disparity between generational pronunciation and spelling displays the different influences that have shaped the language of the generation. The Internet, and technology in general have managed to engage interlocutors who speak varieties that stem from the polycentric core of English, as seen through the influences of Americanisms on AE. Moreover, multicultural status of Australia has created a ‘melting pot’ of ethnicities as well as languages. “Konglish,” a colloquial term coined for Korean-Australian English spoken by first generation immigrants, exemplifies the growth of AE. Konglish was formed much in the same way a pidgin is constructed through the mergence of two creoles – in order to create a linguistic platform for interlocutors to convey information as well as build solidarity. Nouns such as “television” are colloquially palatalised to “tell-li-bi” and “remote control” is substituted by “ri-mo-kon” to mimic the staccato rhythm that is characteristic of Korean. An ethnolect, like jargon, allows for interlocutors to speak more concisely and effectively, as well as building language communities. And Konglish is just one ethnolect that has arisen subsequent to the driving force of multiculturalism within the Australian context, and spotlights AE’s ongoing ability to foster new varieties.

The language used in Australia has changed, and continues to change, due to both external factors, such as cultural influences and internal factors, such as changes in society. Indeed, “time changes all things; there is no reason why language should escape this universal law” (Ferdinand de Saussure). Australian English too, like any other language, changes relative to the “context, conventions and circumstances” (Stephen Fry) that govern it, and although the surface details differ from multiculturalism to governmental reform, it is these underlying forces that lead to language change.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: teletubbies_95 on November 08, 2013, 10:49:46 pm
I know there is a million grammatical errors due to my crappy typing skills. SORRY. Criticise freely! :)

http://www.vcaa.vic.edu.au/Documents/exams/englishlanguage/2005englang.pdf

“Wasted” Analytical Commentary :
This text is an extract from a novel called “Wasted “ in the point of view of protagonist, teenage boy named “Ryan” . The primary function of the text is to express the protagonists feelings about his situation , as well as simultaneously having a phatic function with his mother. The overarching function is to engage the Australian audience through telling them a  story about a teenage boys experience about not being allowed to go meet his friends because of his parents refusal . The register of the text is largely informal and a tense tone is created at many points during the text. Te relationship between the characters of the story can also be seen through the register. Furthermore, the prose is highly planned and conforms to both the written and spoken mode to fulfil the functions of the text.

The lexical and semantic features of the text support the function , audience and register of the text . The author’s use of persona pronoun , such as “I”(1) , “me”(25)  and “my “(49) are employed to signal that the text is in first person , ad the in the point of view of a teenager who is expressing his feelings about not being able to meet his friends because of his mothers’ refusal, thus supporting the expressive function. The Australian audience identity of the speaker is conveyed through lexical features employed. For instance , slang terms such as “ catching up” (26) , “You suck “ (48), “stuff it” (56)  and “I reckon”( 49) , are all typical of the Australian discourse . These lexemes are used to emphasise to the audience about the contextual settings of the text ,as well as to emphasise that the text is aimed at an Australian audience. Present participle verbs , such as “mutter” (48) , “asks”(1) and “trying”(18) are used to create a tense tone in the text , as the reader feels that they are encountering what the protagonist is experiencing at present, further engaging the audience to read the prose. The semantic features of the text assist the author in engaging the reader to read the text and effectively express the protagonists feelings. Figurative language , such as the use of metaphor , “bullterrier “ (14) to describe the author’s mother , as well as noun phrases to extend the metaphor, such as “stands her ground and growls at you “ , with “growl “ being a typical action of dog. This is employed to create imagery , so an image is painted in the readers’ mind about his mother’s strong willed personality. Similarly , figurative language from the semantic field of crime such as “ homicide detective not half as aggressive “ (28) and “She’ll be taking swab tests” (32) are employed to describe the speakers’ feelings about how clever his mother is . Another metaphor “fossils “ (54) is employed by the speaker to show the protagonists negative feelings about “fossils” , which is associated with being “ancient “ , further conveying his troubled relationship with his parents.

The morphological and syntactic features of the text to enable the author to signify many aspects of the text. The author employs contractions , such as “I’ve “ (6) and “I’m “(20) to signal the informal nature of the text , and more importantly the presence of dialogue . This supports the spoken mode of the text and thus the phatic function. Furthermore, the speakers Australian identity , is created with the use of diminutives , such as “oldies “ , in which the typical inflectional morpheme , “-ies” , is employed. This signals the intended audience as being Australian, as it is typically used with Australian –English speaking interlocutors. Declarative sentences are also employed , such as “I can’t wait to get out of this house” (51) predominantly aiding the protagonists expressive function. Compound sentences are predominantly to outline the protagonists feelings , and thus aiding the expressive function. Furthermore, interrogatives are employed by the mother , author character of the text to question her son’s motives , thus aiding the phatic function. Compound sentences are employed to outline the protagonists train of thought , such as “ I’m wearing my jeans and my hooded jacket and you ...” , aiding the expression function. The spontaneity of the text is largely reflected through the use of ellipsis , such as “My mother .” (28) and” Live my only life “(51) . This is because he is expressing his feelings in the present , in his own point of view. Furthermore, through the use of ellipsis , his strained relationship with his mother is reflected. For instance, in line  12 “out” , an answer given by the  protagonist when the mother asks about where he is going. The one word lexeme reply demonstrates that he is not comfortable enough to disclose any information about his motives with his mother. The combination of different syntactic structures helps set the rhythm ,which complements the dialogue and mirrors the narratives emotions , as the author  tells the story.

Since the text is an extract of a novel , it conforms to the conventions of the text type. The dialogue is indented , to signal the belonging of the dialogue , and separate  paragraphs are created to demonstrate the ideas expressed by the protagonist . These features further emphasise the planned nature of the text. It is likely that the text was written with an Australian audience in mind. This is shown through the use of inference to create textual coherence ., as well as drawing on shared understandings of aspects of the “Aussie “ identity. For instance , “ mark”(39) , the reader must know that the lexeme refers to a tactic used in Australian Rules Football , as well as in line 37 “ pay out on them, the reader has to know it is a typical saying in Australian horse –racing.

The author has achieved a high level of cohesion to enable logical, yet  engaging story to occur. Front focus used throughout the dialogue , such as “I’ve finished all my homework “ I tell her “( 6) and “ I forgot what the question was “ I say””( 10 ) . This is typical of a dialogue of narratives  , to help highlight the dialogue , by postponing the verb and so avoiding prominence. Anaphoric references is employed , such as personal pronoun “her “  (6) and “she “(5) to refer to his mother lexemes , to create to links between the noun-referent and the personal pronoun , as well as avoiding repetition to enhance the engaging function of the text.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: charmanderp on November 08, 2013, 11:02:31 pm
How useful has everyone found this thread? Has it been a good way of getting feedback, yourself? Has anyone been able to take the feedback provided to others and then apply that to your their own writing? Have you provided anyone else with feedback? Do you feel you were able to get it across clearly and effectively? Is it confusing/inconvenient at all? Let me know if you have any suggestions as to how we can improve this system! (: I might add a poll later.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: |ll|lll| on November 10, 2013, 12:22:53 am
I know there is a million grammatical errors due to my crappy typing skills. SORRY. Criticise freely! :)

http://www.vcaa.vic.edu.au/Documents/exams/englishlanguage/2005englang.pdf

“Wasted” Analytical Commentary :
This text is an extract from a novel called “Wasted “ in the point of view of protagonist, teenage boy named “Ryan” . The primary function of the text is to express the protagonists feelings about his situation , as well as simultaneously having a phatic function with his mother. The overarching function is to engage the Australian audience through telling them a  story about a teenage boys experience about not being allowed to go meet his friends because of his parents refusal . The register of the text is largely informal and a tense tone is created at many points during the text. Te relationship between the characters of the story can also be seen through the register. Furthermore, the prose is highly planned and conforms to both the written and spoken mode to fulfil the functions of the text.

The lexical and semantic features of the text support the function , audience and register of the text . The author’s use of persona pronoun , such as “I”(1) , “me”(25)  and “my “(49) are employed to signal that the text is in first person , ad the in the point of view of a teenager who is expressing his feelings about not being able to meet his friends because of his mothers’ refusal, thus supporting the expressive function. The Australian audience identity of the speaker is conveyed through lexical features employed. For instance , slang terms such as “ catching up” (26) , “You suck “ (48), “stuff it” (56)  and “I reckon”( 49) , are all typical of the Australian discourse . These lexemes are used to emphasise to the audience about the contextual settings of the text ,as well as to emphasise that the text is aimed at an Australian audience. Present participle verbs , such as “mutter” (48) , “asks”(1) and “trying”(18) are used to create a tense tone in the text , as the reader feels that they are encountering what the protagonist is experiencing at present, further engaging the audience to read the prose. The semantic features of the text assist the author in engaging the reader to read the text and effectively express the protagonists feelings. Figurative language , such as the use of metaphor , “bullterrier “ (14) to describe the author’s mother , as well as noun phrases to extend the metaphor, such as “stands her ground and growls at you “ , with “growl “ being a typical action of dog. This is employed to create imagery , so an image is painted in the readers’ mind about his mother’s strong willed personality. Similarly , figurative language from the semantic field of crime such as “ homicide detective not half as aggressive “ (28) and “She’ll be taking swab tests” (32) are employed to describe the speakers’ feelings about how clever his mother is . Another metaphor “fossils “ (54) is employed by the speaker to show the protagonists negative feelings about “fossils” , which is associated with being “ancient “ , further conveying his troubled relationship with his parents.

The morphological and syntactic features of the text to enable the author to signify many aspects of the text. The author employs contractions , such as “I’ve “ (6) and “I’m “(20) to signal the informal nature of the text , and more importantly the presence of dialogue . This supports the spoken mode of the text and thus the phatic function. Furthermore, the speakers Australian identity , is created with the use of diminutives , such as “oldies “ , in which the typical inflectional morpheme , “-ies” , is employed. This signals the intended audience as being Australian, as it is typically used with Australian –English speaking interlocutors. Declarative sentences are also employed , such as “I can’t wait to get out of this house” (51) predominantly aiding the protagonists expressive function. Compound sentences are predominantly to outline the protagonists feelings , and thus aiding the expressive function. Furthermore, interrogatives are employed by the mother , author character of the text to question her son’s motives , thus aiding the phatic function. Compound sentences are employed to outline the protagonists train of thought , such as “ I’m wearing my jeans and my hooded jacket and you ...” , aiding the expression function. The spontaneity of the text is largely reflected through the use of ellipsis , such as “My mother .” (28) and” Live my only life “(51) . This is because he is expressing his feelings in the present , in his own point of view. Furthermore, through the use of ellipsis , his strained relationship with his mother is reflected. For instance, in line  12 “out” , an answer given by the  protagonist when the mother asks about where he is going. The one word lexeme reply demonstrates that he is not comfortable enough to disclose any information about his motives with his mother. The combination of different syntactic structures helps set the rhythm ,which complements the dialogue and mirrors the narratives emotions , as the author  tells the story.

Since the text is an extract of a novel , it conforms to the conventions of the text type. The dialogue is indented , to signal the belonging of the dialogue , and separate  paragraphs are created to demonstrate the ideas expressed by the protagonist . These features further emphasise the planned nature of the text. It is likely that the text was written with an Australian audience in mind. This is shown through the use of inference to create textual coherence ., as well as drawing on shared understandings of aspects of the “Aussie “ identity. For instance , “ mark”(39) , the reader must know that the lexeme refers to a tactic used in Australian Rules Football , as well as in line 37 “ pay out on them, the reader has to know it is a typical saying in Australian horse –racing.

The author has achieved a high level of cohesion to enable logical, yet  engaging story to occur. Front focus used throughout the dialogue , such as “I’ve finished all my homework “ I tell her “( 6) and “ I forgot what the question was “ I say””( 10 ) . This is typical of a dialogue of narratives  , to help highlight the dialogue , by postponing the verb and so avoiding prominence. Anaphoric references is employed , such as personal pronoun “her “  (6) and “she “(5) to refer to his mother lexemes , to create to links between the noun-referent and the personal pronoun , as well as avoiding repetition to enhance the engaging function of the text.

1. I don't think the text as a phatic function; it is more referential/informative. Note that the audience are readers of the novel, not the mother. It is clear that the author is not trying to socialise with the readers, but convey his perspective of the Australian language and reinforce his Australian identity. Not sure if you had to analyse Deadly Unna during the course of this year -  the concepts regarding audience behind are similar.

2. One feature of the Aus language is swearing - it is very mild here with 'You suck'. You may consider this too.

3. There are good points mentioned, but you should also consider conversational strategies. For example, that sentence constituting only one lexeme is a feature of minimal response. The fact that this is a written dialogue (i.e. spoken mode being transcripted) is also worth commenting and analysing.

4. In terms of contextual factors (one of the criteria in the SD) and social relationship, you should elaborate the use of interrogative and declarative statements used by the mother. She does this because Ryan has provoked her and she's exercising her power over him etc.

5. You wouldn't have to know this but I think Tiffany Dellarossi is an Australian icon.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Professor_Oak on January 06, 2014, 01:05:35 am
Could somebody please give me feedback on this essay? Be as harsh as you like, as long as you have constructive criticism and it isn't just berating me on my writing.

Australian English defines who we are as a nation and a culture. Discuss.

Spoiler
Australian English is possibly one of the most, if not the most distinctive variations of English. However we are a young nation and it is not simply whether Australian English is distinctive, but whether the vernacular reflects our culture as a whole. Through use of slang we express our cultural identity and values, while the rather homogenous nature of Australian English signifies that we are as Bruce Woodley so elegantly put it, ‘one and many’. Nonetheless what that ‘one’ group identity is differs depending on ethnic background, and a very different cultural identity can be shown through the language of those in separate ethnic communities.

The prevalence of slang in Australian English allows us to easily convey cultural attitudes and values in our daily language. Although slang is an integral part of any language, Australian slang can be used regardless of both social distance and status. Where other varieties of English leave slang for only the most informal of registers, Australian slang is even usable in politics. Take for instance John Howard’s use of ‘Howard’s battlers’ as a complimentary term for supporters of his 1996 campaign who were of the working class. From the term ‘battler’ we can see the classically Australian admiration of hard workers, especially those in adverse situations. Conversely through the idiom ‘cutting down tall poppies’, which means essentially putting down those who excel past their peers, it can be said that our language expresses strongly egalitarian ideals. In contrast with this we have developed a plethora of phrases pertaining to relaxation including ‘the land of the long weekend’, ‘don’t bust a gut’ and ‘she’ll be right’. Complaints are also generally frowned upon and thus the derogatory term ‘Whinger’ was created. Furthermore this term had another use in the amalgamation of ‘whingeing pom’ which firmly encapsulates the attitudes towards the British in the modern day. Moreover our cultural obsession with alcohol is demonstrated vividly by our use of colloquial terms including ‘shout’ ‘grog’ and ‘stubbie’. The slang explored here can be likened to a single raindrop in an ocean of terms, nevertheless it can be seen quite clearly how slang defines our cultural values.

As a nation our language is almost uniform signifying how a majority of the population shares a similar, but not necessarily the same, national identity. When juxtaposed with our colonial counterparts in America, we have very little variation in how we speak. If we look the phonetics of our speech it can be seen that there are common nation-wide trends, namely the shift of the /æ/ phoneme in ‘make’ to the /aɪ/ phoneme in ‘Mike’. There are however some considerable lexical differences, take for instance the expression ‘Toorak tractor’ which refers mockingly to a four-wheel drive vehicle which is driven around the city by the rich. ‘Toorak’ in this expression is replaced by other wealthy suburbs such as ‘Mosman’ in Sydney and ‘Dalkeith’ in Perth in order to keep it relevant. Some terms are not as transferrable as this as demonstrated by the Sydney derogatory term ‘westie’ for those who live in the western suburbs. While in Sydney the people in the western suburbs are typically of a lower socio-economic background, this may not apply to somewhere such as Perth and thus it is restricted to its place of origin. Similarly compounds pertaining to ‘stingers’ such as ‘stinger enclosure’ and ‘stinger suit’ are of no interest to say, a Melbournian as they only relate to the precautions those from tropical Queensland must take. It is evident here that although there are modifications due to the circumstances surrounding different areas, people from all ends of Australia tend to share some aspects of national identity through language.

As with any rule there are exceptions, and although mainstream Australians stick by the linguistic trends mentioned earlier, many ethnic groups have created their own vibrant ethnolects. In the 20th century immigrants from Southern Europe and Lebanon were met with rampant xenophobia on their arrival shown by the lexemes ‘wog’ and ‘lebo’. The retaliation for these terms was the establishment of ‘skip’, a derogatory term for Anglo-Celtic Australians. In the modern day however, young people of Southern European descent have used the label ‘wog’ affectionately for themselves, appropriating the stereotypes and connotations surrounding the lexeme. Although these youths come from a variety of backgrounds, they have a sense of group identity through their bi-cultural identity and thus speak in a very similar fashion. For example the /ð/ sound of the lexeme ‘them’ is frequently elided by ‘wogs’, whereas the final sound in the lexeme ‘pleasure is pronounced with an /ah/ phoneme. The inflectional suffix ‘-s’ is typically multiplied in informal conversation, for example ‘hey youse goings to Westfields?’ Furthermore the use of double comparatives is routine among ‘wogs’ with phrases such as ‘more better’ and ‘less stronger’ These distinguishing features have allowed young ‘wogs’ to create their own identity separate to both Anglo-Celtic Australians and their parents whom had experienced cultural cringe due to the initial xenophobia.

Identity is shown through language in countless different ways. It would be a terrible falsehood to say everybody in this country shares the same identity. Though there is a general national identity that may apply to the majority of the country through slang, differences in language both regional and ethnic tell us that this generalisation only goes so far. Ultimately a single Australian English cannot define the culture, nor the national identity, of a multicultural Australia.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: teletubbies_95 on January 06, 2014, 05:39:39 pm
Australian English defines who we are as a nation and a culture. Discuss.
Australian English is possibly one of the most, if not the most distinctive variations of English. However we are a young nation and it is not simply whether Australian English is distinctive, but whether the vernacular reflects our culture as a whole. Through use of slang we express our cultural identity and values, while the rather homogenous nature of Australian English signifies that we are as Bruce Woodley so elegantly put it, ‘one and many’. Nonetheless what that ‘one’ group identity is differs depending on ethnic background, and a very different cultural identity can be shown through the language of those in separate ethnic communities.Add a final sentence. It seems as if you are listing paragraphs. Ie. A general sentence.

The prevalence of slang in Australian English allows us to easily convey cultural attitudes and values in our daily language.  Slang is an integral part of any language. Particularly in  Australia, slang can be used extensively in various contexts to enhance social distance and status. Where other varieties of English leave slang for only the most informal of registers, Australian slang is even usable in formal contexts , such as politics. Take For instance , John Howard’s use of ‘Howard’s battlers’ as a complimentary term for supporters of his 1996 campaign who were of the working class. I think you should use for contemporary examples. And also you should elaborate on how this “conveys cultural attitudes and values”. From the term ‘battler’ we can see the classically Australian admiration of hard workers, especially those in adverse situations. Conversely through the idiom ‘cutting down tall poppies’, which means essentially putting down those who excel past their peers, it can be said that our language expresses strongly egalitarian ideals. In contrast with this we have developed a plethora of phrases pertaining to relaxation including ‘the land of the long weekend’, ‘don’t bust a gut’ and ‘she’ll be right’. Maybe you could find an example in the media with popular Australian’s using it. Complaints are also generally frowned upon and thus the derogatory term ‘Whinger’ was created. Furthermore this term had another use in the amalgamation of ‘whingeing pom’ which firmly encapsulates the attitudes towards the British in the modern day. Moreover our cultural obsession with alcohol is demonstrated vividly by our use of colloquial terms including ‘shout’ ‘grog’ and ‘stubbie’. The slang explored here can be likened to a single raindrop in an ocean of terms, nevertheless it can be seen quite clearly how slang defines our cultural values. Even though it was a bit long, I really liked that final sentence ☺

As a nation our language is almost uniform signifying how a majority of the population shares a similar, but not necessarily the same, national identity. When juxtaposed with our colonial counterparts in America(there is a no need to use this, you never refer back to it in your essay) , we have very little variation in how we speak. If we look the phonetics of our speech it can be seen that there are common nation-wide trends, namely the shift of the /æ/ phoneme in ‘make’ to the /aɪ/ phoneme in ‘Mike’. I would avoid the use of “we” , it is informal.  There are however some considerable lexical differences, take for instance the expression ‘Toorak tractor’ which refers mockingly to a four-wheel drive vehicle which is driven around the city by the rich. ‘Toorak’ in this expression is replaced by other wealthy suburbs such as ‘Mosman’ in Sydney and ‘Dalkeith’ in Perth in order to keep it relevant. Some terms are not as transferrable as this as demonstrated by the Sydney derogatory term ‘westie’ for those who live in the western suburbs. While in Sydney the people in the western suburbs are typically of a lower socio-economic background, this may not apply to somewhere such as Perth and thus it is restricted to its place of origin. Similarly compounds pertaining to ‘stingers’ such as ‘stinger enclosure’ and ‘stinger suit’ are of no interest to say, a Melbournian as they only relate to the precautions those from tropical Queensland must take. It is evident here that although there are modifications due to the circumstances surrounding different areas, people from all ends of Australia tend to share some aspects of national identity through language.

As with any rule there are exceptions, and although mainstream Australians stick by the linguistic trends mentioned earlier, many ethnic groups have created their own vibrant ethnolects. (There is no link to the topic here. Each topic sentence should address the topic) .In the 20th century, immigrants from Southern Europe and Lebanon were met with rampant xenophobia on their arrival shown by the lexemes ‘wog’ and ‘lebo’.Examiners find these sort of examples quite overused , so you shouldn’t use them.  The retaliation for these terms was the establishment of ‘skip’, a derogatory term for Anglo-Celtic Australians. In the modern day however, young people of Southern European descent have used the label ‘wog’ affectionately for themselves, appropriating the stereotypes and connotations surrounding the lexeme. Although these youths come from a variety of backgrounds, they have a sense of group identity through their bi-cultural identity and thus speak in a very similar fashion manner. For example the /ð/ sound of the lexeme ‘them’ is frequently elided by ‘wogs’(bit too informal, use Lebanese Australian speakers) , whereas the final sound in the lexeme ‘pleasure is pronounced with an /ah/ phoneme.It is great that you are using IPA, it shows your deep knowledge and extensive research. Well done ! ☺ The inflectional suffix ‘-s’ is typically multiplied in informal conversation, for example ‘hey youse goings to Westfields?’ Furthermore the use of double comparatives is routine among ‘wogs’ (again informal) with phrases such as ‘more better’ and ‘less stronger’ . These distinguishing features have allowed young ‘wogs’ to create their own identity separate to both Anglo-Celtic Australians and their parents whom had experienced cultural cringe due to the initial xenophobia. (Final sentence is a bit too long, should cut it down a bit and relate to topic sentence)

Identity is shown through language in countless different ways. It would be a terrible falsehood to say everybody in this country shares the same identity. Though there is a general national identity that may apply to the majority of the country through slang, differences in language both regional and ethnic tell us that this generalisation only goes so far. Ultimately a single Australian English cannot define the culture, nor the national identity, of a multicultural Australia.

Just had a quick look 
Some improvements that can be made:
- USE CONTEMPORARY EXAMPLES !
- I would be wary of using “Lebspeak” as a primary example of an ethnolect. In the exam(2013) , I used Chinese, Sri Lankan and Indian English ethnolect varieties, as firstly they were a variety and they reflected the “Asian Age” that we are having in contemporary Australian society.
- Maybe you could have made the paragraph order with “slang” and “ethnolects “, and then “national identity” .
-I think your second argument was a bit weird. It provided a counter argument , but I was confused. It didn’t really address the topic clearly enough. I think you could have discussed colloquial Australian English( ie. Diminutives, swearing,etc)

[/b]

I didn't really go over grammatical/spelling mistakes, so bear with me! :) Hope this helps a bit !
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Professor_Oak on January 06, 2014, 05:53:02 pm
Yeah I wasn't quite sure about the second paragraph. Although I had a lot to talk about under the category of slang, I thought I might be stretching it a bit on the same point. Would I get away with using colloquial English as the focus for one of my paragraphs as well as slang? And were your examples and analysis on Chinese ethnolects etc. something you devised yourself or was it something I could find in a book or online?


Just had a quick look 
Some improvements that can be made:
- USE CONTEMPORARY EXAMPLES !
- I would be wary of using “Lebspeak” as a primary example of an ethnolect. In the exam(2013) , I used Chinese, Sri Lankan and Indian English ethnolect varieties, as firstly they were a variety and they reflected the “Asian Age” that we are having in contemporary Australian society.
- Maybe you could have made the paragraph order with “slang” and “ethnolects “, and then “national identity” .
-I think your second argument was a bit weird. It provided a counter argument , but I was confused. It didn’t really address the topic clearly enough. I think you could have discussed colloquial Australian English( ie. Diminutives, swearing,etc)

[/b]

I didn't really go over grammatical/spelling mistakes, so bear with me! :) Hope this helps a bit !
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: lzxnl on January 06, 2014, 06:11:05 pm
Australian English defines who we are as a nation and a culture. Discuss.

Australian English is possibly one of the most, if not the most distinctive variations of English. However we are a young nation and it is not simply whether Australian English is distinctive, but whether the vernacular reflects our culture as a whole Australian English does not just include the vernacular; there are many different aspects of Australian English. Through use of slang we express our cultural identity and values, while the rather homogenous nature of Australian English signifies that we are as Bruce Woodley so elegantly put it, ‘one and many’. Nonetheless what that ‘one’ group identity is differs depending on ethnic background, and a very different cultural identity can be shown through the language of those in separate ethnic communities. Agreeing with teletubbies here; contention?

The prevalence of slang in Australian English allows us to easily convey cultural attitudes and values in our daily language. Although slang is an integral part of any language why?, Australian slang can be used regardless of both social distance and status be careful; if a lawyer used slang in a court, how would this be received?. Where other varieties of English leave slang for only the most informal of registers, Australian slang is even usable in politics. Take for instance John Howard’s use of ‘Howard’s battlers’ as a complimentary term for supporters of his 1996 campaign who were of the working class. From the term ‘battler’ we can see the classically Australian admiration of hard workers, especially those in adverse situations. Conversely through the idiom ‘cutting down tall poppies’, which means essentially putting down those who excel past their peers, it can be said that our language expresses strongly egalitarian ideals this doesn't quite relate to your earlier comment about slang being used in politics. In contrast how is this a contrast? with this we have developed a plethora of phrases pertaining to relaxation including ‘the land of the long weekend’, ‘don’t bust a gut’ and ‘she’ll be right’. Complaints are also generally frowned upon and thus the derogatory term ‘Whinger’ was created. Furthermore this term had another use in the amalgamation of ‘whingeing pom’ which firmly encapsulates the attitudes towards the British in the modern day. Moreover our cultural obsession with alcohol is demonstrated vividly by our use of colloquial terms including ‘shout’ ‘grog’ and ‘stubbie’ these examples and your reasoning seem...quite weak to be honest. There are many colloquial terms for sexually promiscuous women; does society have a cultural obsession with them? You need to explain in more depth. The slang explored here can be likened to a single raindrop in an ocean of terms, semicolon! nevertheless it can be seen quite clearly how slang defines our cultural values. does slang "define" our cultural values, or do our cultural values define our slang? Something to consider

As a nation our language is almost uniform signifying how a majority of the population shares a similar, but not necessarily the same, national identity. When juxtaposed with our colonial counterparts in America huh?, we have very little variation in how we speak. If we look the phonetics of our speech it can be seen that there are common nation-wide trends, namely the shift of the /æ/ phoneme in ‘make’ to the /aɪ/ phoneme in ‘Mike’. There are however some considerable lexical differences, take for instance the expression ‘Toorak tractor’ which refers mockingly to a four-wheel drive vehicle which is driven around the city by the rich. ‘Toorak’ in this expression is replaced by other wealthy suburbs such as ‘Mosman’ in Sydney and ‘Dalkeith’ in Perth in order to keep it relevant. Some terms are not as transferrable as this as demonstrated by the Sydney derogatory term ‘westie’ for those who live in the western suburbs. While in Sydney the people in the western suburbs are typically of a lower socio-economic background if you came across someone from the western suburbs of Sydney as an examiner, I'm sure they wouldn't like this statement, this may not apply to somewhere such as Perth and thus it is restricted to its place of origin. Similarly compounds pertaining to ‘stingers’ such as ‘stinger enclosure’ and ‘stinger suit’ are of no interest to say, a Melbournian as they only relate to the precautions those from tropical Queensland must take. It is evident here that although there are modifications due to the circumstances surrounding different areas, people from all ends of Australia tend to share some aspects of national identity through language. This paragraph made little sense to me. You first talk about how Australian English is uniform, but half the paragraph talks about differences. "Some" aspects of national identity through language? It seems like you are  trying to say that there are commonalities in the language that link Australians. If so, you should probably split this into two paragraphs. To be honest, I'm not sure how relevant regional differences are to this essay.

As with any rule there are exceptions, and although mainstream Australians stick by the linguistic trends mentioned earlier, many ethnic groups have created their own vibrant ethnolects. In the 20th century immigrants from Southern Europe and Lebanon were met with rampant xenophobia on their arrival shown by the lexemes ‘wog’ and ‘lebo’. The retaliation for these terms was the establishment of ‘skip’, a derogatory term for Anglo-Celtic Australians so what? Explain the point of this. In the modern day however, young people of Southern European descent have used the label ‘wog’ affectionately for themselves, appropriating the stereotypes and connotations surrounding the lexeme. Although these youths come from a variety of backgrounds, they have a sense of group identity through their bi-cultural identity and thus speak in a very similar fashion. For example the /ð/ sound of the lexeme ‘them’ is frequently elided by ‘wogs’, whereas the final sound in the lexeme ‘pleasure is pronounced with an /ah/ phoneme. The inflectional suffix ‘-s’ is typically multiplied in informal conversation, for example ‘hey youse goings to Westfields?’ Furthermore the use of double comparatives is routine among ‘wogs’ with phrases such as ‘more better’ and ‘less stronger’ These distinguishing features have allowed young ‘wogs’ to create their own identity separate to both Anglo-Celtic Australians and their parents whom had experienced cultural cringe due to the initial xenophobia. and how does this define us as a nation and a culture? I fail to see the link with the topic. Also, these examples are highly overused.

Identity is shown through language in countless different ways this is not a generic "identity" topic; I think you may have interpreted it that way. It would be a terrible falsehood to say everybody in this country shares the same identity. Though there is a general national identity that may apply to the majority of the country through slang, differences in language both regional and ethnic tell us that this generalisation only goes so far. Ultimately a single Australian English cannot define the culture, nor the national identity, of a multicultural Australia.


It's good to see that you're well ahead of others at this stage (:
Just a few comments. Sometimes, your writing doesn't seem to flow as well; you're not always building on what you're previously written. Also, Australian English is not simply the vernacular. You could have considered how Australian English consists of the vernacular, Aboriginal English and then ethnic varieties, showing how each of these varieties adds to our national identity. For instance, the vernacular could represent qualities that Australians as a nation wish to be perceived as having, Aboriginal English reflects the cultural beliefs of the original inhabitants of Australia and ethnolects are a result of the amalgamation of ethnic and Australian values, demonstrating Australia's cultural diversity and purported racial tolerance.
Also, I felt slang and colloquial language needed to be explored in much greater depth than this. You tried to group your discussion by qualities, which was good, but sometimes you didn't explain the relevance of examples. With ALL of your examples, make sure you explain the point of them. This holds for essay writing in general. Explain the importance and relevance of what you write.
And finally, examiners do love recent examples.
Keep up the work!

Yeah I wasn't quite sure about the second paragraph. Although I had a lot to talk about under the category of slang, I thought I might be stretching it a bit on the same point. Would I get away with using colloquial English as the focus for one of my paragraphs as well as slang? And were your examples and analysis on Chinese ethnolects etc. something you devised yourself or was it something I could find in a book or online?


Slang and colloquial English are important. As long as it's relevant, you can't really be stretching it. Try something and submit it. We'll tell you if it's ridiculous.

My examples of ethnolects were from personal experience LOL. You can find them online though.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: teletubbies_95 on January 06, 2014, 06:38:45 pm
Yeah I wasn't quite sure about the second paragraph. Although I had a lot to talk about under the category of slang, I thought I might be stretching it a bit on the same point. Would I get away with using colloquial English as the focus for one of my paragraphs as well as slang? And were your examples and analysis on Chinese ethnolects etc. something you devised yourself or was it something I could find in a book or online?


I think you can if you explained it well !
We had a huge discussion at school where we shared ethnolect examples .
As a SAC, we had to do an entire essay on a researched ethnolect , in which I did a Indian English ethnolect speaker .
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Professor_Oak on January 06, 2014, 06:45:08 pm
Any advice for where to collect examples by the way? I've been told we should create a cuttings journal but I'm a bit confused on where I should get these cuttings from. Am I just looking for things that directly relate to the study design? E.g. article on Americanisms in Australian English.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: psyxwar on January 29, 2014, 06:49:24 pm
Can I have some feedback on my essay please? I think I focused too much on Aus Eng

Spoiler
"Language acts as a badge of identity" Discuss.
One of the major roles of language is to act as an indicator of identity. This is evident especially with the unique lexicons of different dialects and registers of a language, but also with their different phonological and morphological features. Different registers and dialects are for most part mutually intelligible, but they each have their own quirks differentiating them and enabling them to be used to signal identity.

Different varieties of English demonstrate differences in their phonetics and phonology. Pronunciation of words differs between different varieties of English, and this can be used to mark the nationality of a speaker. For example, American English is rhotic (meaning that the /r/ phoneme is pronounced in nearly all positions of a word) and its speakers would pronounce "water" [wɔːrtər], whereas Australian English is non-rhotic (meaning the /r/ phoneme is only pronounced only if it is followed by a vowel sound in the same phrase) and its speakers would pronounce "water" [wɔːrtə]. Additionally, Australian English has retained the /j/ phoneme in words such as "new" ([nju:]) which has been lost in American English (where "new" is simply pronounced [nu:]). These phonetic differences enable different dialects of a language to function as markers of identity.

Varieties of language may also show unique prosodic features: many speakers of Australian English use a rising intonation at the end of their non-interrogative utterances (the high rising terminal). The high rising terminal is highly symbolic of Australian identity, reflecting its friendly nature and encouraging inclusiveness. The similarity to a questioning intonation expresses uncertainty and doubt, which enables it to act as a hedging device in case something offensive was said. The interrogative nature of the high-rising terminal may also prompt back-channelling, enabling the speaker to remain aware of the needs of the listener so that conversation can proceed smoothly. Prosodic features also serve to provide information about the speaker. It is quite easy to tell the rough age of a speaker from the way they speak (with softer, less rhythmic speech found at older ages due to less efficient vocal organs) and also their gender (females tend to have higher pitched voices than males).

Language can also indicate identity through its lexicon. Registers are most easily differentiated when their lexicons are compared. For example, the term "oxidative phosphorylation" comes from a biological register and those who are not in the field of biology would likely not be familiar with it. Thus, language is able to serve as a tool for determining who is in the "in-group" and who is not: it is likely that those acquainted with these field-specific jargon are knowledgeable in that field. The same lexeme may be found in different registers with different meanings. In the medical register, the lexeme "stat" means immediately, whereas in the online gaming register the term is an abbreviation of "statistics". The lexis of national varieties of English also differs, and offers insights into aspects of their respective cultural identities. For example, the Australian lexeme "battler" and the American lexeme "try-hard" are equivalent in their denotative meaning, but their associated connotations differ markedly.  "Battler" has positive connotations and reflects the notion of egalitarianism deeply rooted in the Australian identity - trying hard is something to be applauded, no matter what your situation. Conversely, "try-hard" carries negative connotations, reflecting a culture where a huge emphasis is placed on winning and where trying is demeaned. The frequency of profanity in Australian discourse is another example of language acting as an identifier. Profanity has become an "important indicator of Australianness and of cultural values such as friendliness, informality, laidbackness, [and] mateship" (Burridge). In many Australian contexts, lexemes such as "cunt" carry positive connotations and see use as terms of endearment: this would definitely not be the case in countries like Britain, where the lexeme is seen as incredibly offensive and vulgar.

Different varieties of language may have distinct morphological features, which can highlight cultural values and reinforce group solidarity. Australian English is unusually fond of diminutives, a form of derivational morphology including suffixes like -o, -y and -ie as in "smoko" for cigarette break. Many of these hypocoristics are uniquely Australian and would be unintelligible to those speaking other dialects of English. They reflect Australia's informality and promote solidarity amongst Australians. This is highlighted by McDonalds referring to themselves as "Maccas" in Australia in order to appear more Australian and more appealing to the Australian consumer.

Language is able to function effectively as a badge of identity. Unique linguistic features serve to reflect the cultural identity of the speakers of a language and to serve as a means of being able to identify members of a particular group, whether it be a nation, a profession or a social group. 
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: MrsNicoleB on February 06, 2014, 03:36:00 pm
Picky pointers:

-   HRT – can be used to hedge, but this is not relevant to your argument about identity.  You could mention that it is more often used by young females – a marker of their identity. Likewise with backchannelling – not relevant to your argument.  Remember that your essays are to be directed at a knowledgeable audience – you’re not trying to teach us linguistic terms, we already know them. Use every word wisely – you’ll be under time constraints in the exam, you don’t want to waste time.
-   try to work in ‘solidarity’ when you talk about ‘in-group’, or ‘close social distance’.
-   Take care when using expletives as examples – it makes examiners cringe.
-   Good examples, particularly like ‘Maccas’ – just remember that other people (e.g. Brits) use diminutives too, it’s not just Aussies.

I don’t think that you focussed on Australian English too much – the course is focussed on Australian English.  You could definitely have commented more on different types of identities – being Australian is only part of a person’s identity. 

Some teachers will want you to plan your essay around the sub-systems – but I think you are a strong enough student to try it another way.  E.g. you could plan your essay around identities – talk about professionals, teenagers, male / females, Australians vs other.  The examiners will read between the lines and see whether you have covered different sub-systems (although your teacher may have other ideas!)

Overall this is an excellent start considering the course has just begun!
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Reus on February 06, 2014, 05:58:07 pm
We're revising subsystems at our school atm haha :-\. You guys up to essay writing in class/course or, is this your own work ethic?
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: ealam2 on February 06, 2014, 08:36:38 pm
We're revising subsystems at our school atm haha :-\. You guys up to essay writing in class/course or, is this your own work ethic?

We've just started on informal language. We'll be doing/learning about essay writing next week and will probably start writing essays once every 2 weeks. I haven't done any essays as of now, haha.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: aqple on February 06, 2014, 08:44:46 pm
We're revising subsystems at our school atm haha :-\. You guys up to essay writing in class/course or, is this your own work ethic?

Same with our school :/
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: MrsNicoleB on February 06, 2014, 09:38:20 pm
I don't think that revising the sub-systems is such a bad way to go - at this stage, you need to focus on the content rather than jumping straight into essay writing.  Else you'll have nothing interesting to say!  :P 
Doing practice essays is a great idea though - time them, aim to spend 50-60 minutes on them a la the exam. 
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: charmanderp on March 10, 2014, 03:05:56 pm
I would appreciate someone marking my essay for Unit 1 on 'Language Acquisition'. Please be harsh if you want. It's my first EngLang essay and I'd rather set things right at first, instead of botching them later on in the year and then coming to realise it.

Spoiler
Topic: A child’s acquisition of language is a sophisticated process which requires several factors to operate in unison.

Child language acquisition is indeed a complex process, comprising of a multitude of stages – each sacrosanct and related to one another.   For a child to acquire language, there are several factors that must occur simultaneously during the ‘Critical language acquisition period’ to allow the child to progress throughout these stages. Additionally, a child must develop physically, and be influenced culturally, to grasp the language most effectively.

The ‘Babbling stage’ is the first stage of language acquisition. It signifies the child seeing language as a tool, and thus attempting to possess it, first by organising sounds. Physical development is intrinsic in this stage, relying mainly on development of vocal mechanisms, for the child to differentiate labial nasals like ‘m’ from ‘p’ or ‘b’. The ‘Holophrastic stage’ follows; the child now producing single and isolated, but recognizable, words. Social factors, such as exposure to parentese, help the child progress to the ‘Telegraphic stage’ after experiencing the use of more than one word. Yet, on their own, toddlers are cavalier in use of the language; rules are more commonly overgeneralised, and their context of use is disregarded. Such behaviour can be controlled by positive and negative feedback by the parent, in order to encourage sophisticated responses and accelerate language acquisition from the multi-word stage to school going age. 

It is common for a child to face many challenges in learning the meaning of words. Therefore, comprehension of a language must develop before its production and use. In Jones’ Children Growing Up, Catherine is initially unable to describe an object held “upside down”. After comprehending her mother’s use of the word, however, she is able to pronounce and use it. She is then encouraged by positive feedback, and is “pleased with herself…as she used the phrase correctly for the first time”, suggesting that she now, indelibly, knows the essential meaning of the word and to use it when required. Comprehension of a language too relies on both the environment and culture in which the child is immersed in. Children learn to speak by discerning regular patterns in the language they hear, and using these patterns to construct their own original sentences. They compare their structures with those of adults and revise any that reveal themselves to be wrong until their speech matches that of the adults in their particular speech community. Therefore, it is crucial that the environment is interactive to encourage children to use and experiment with the language around them in determining what’s linguistically acceptable.

The ‘critical period’ highlights the sophistication of ‘language acquisition’ and proves it not confoundedly innate and biologically linked. Language acquisition is dependent on appropriate linguistic input – such is demonstrated by children who have experienced extreme social isolation. Language experience, in one’s first language, must be gained before a certain age. After the ‘critical period’, vocal mechanisms are set and, having not experienced language adequately, a child will struggle to grasp the language, in spite of its utmost efforts.
Social, physical and environmental factors are all central to language acquisition. Even so that it is never one of these that allow the language acquisition process to operate in unison. For example, a child equipped solely with the necessary vocal mechanisms for language acquisition will not get past the babbling stage. Likewise, a child placed in a milieu where social interaction is minimal might not speak at all. Rather, it is a combination of all factors that attribute linguistic abilities and fluent use of a language.

The stages of language acquisition are dependent on a multitude of factors. The prerequisites of language acquisition are the same for all but, children face various challenges in acquiring a language. Fluency can be attained through comprehension of language– also relying on an interactive environment where children can learn from their mistakes. A combination of social, physical and environmental factors allows the stages of language acquisition to operate in unison.
For anyone that didn't realise, the essay can be read by hitting the gray 'Spoiler' bar :P
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: alchemy on March 11, 2014, 11:06:50 pm
I would appreciate someone marking my essay for Unit 1 on 'Language Acquisition'. Please be harsh if you want. It's my first EngLang essay and I'd rather set things right at first, instead of botching them later on in the year and then coming to realise it.

Spoiler
Topic: A child’s acquisition of language is a sophisticated process which requires several factors to operate in unison.

Child language acquisition is indeed a complex process, comprising of a multitude of stages – each sacrosanct and related to one another.   For a child to acquire language, there are several factors that must occur simultaneously during the ‘Critical language acquisition period’ to allow the child to progress throughout these stages. Additionally, a child must develop physically, and be influenced culturally, to grasp the language most effectively.

The ‘Babbling stage’ is the first stage of language acquisition. It signifies the child seeing language as a tool, and thus attempting to possess it, first by organising sounds. Physical development is intrinsic in this stage, relying mainly on development of vocal mechanisms, for the child to differentiate labial nasals like ‘m’ from ‘p’ or ‘b’. The ‘Holophrastic stage’ follows; the child now producing single and isolated, but recognizable, words. Social factors, such as exposure to parentese, help the child progress to the ‘Telegraphic stage’ after experiencing the use of more than one word. Yet, on their own, toddlers are cavalier in use of the language; rules are more commonly overgeneralised, and their context of use is disregarded. Such behaviour can be controlled by positive and negative feedback by the parent, in order to encourage sophisticated responses and accelerate language acquisition from the multi-word stage to school going age. 

It is common for a child to face many challenges in learning the meaning of words. Therefore, comprehension of a language must develop before its production and use. In Jones’ Children Growing Up, Catherine is initially unable to describe an object held “upside down”. After comprehending her mother’s use of the word, however, she is able to pronounce and use it. She is then encouraged by positive feedback, and is “pleased with herself…as she used the phrase correctly for the first time”, suggesting that she now, indelibly, knows the essential meaning of the word and to use it when required. Comprehension of a language too relies on both the environment and culture in which the child is immersed in. Children learn to speak by discerning regular patterns in the language they hear, and using these patterns to construct their own original sentences. They compare their structures with those of adults and revise any that reveal themselves to be wrong until their speech matches that of the adults in their particular speech community. Therefore, it is crucial that the environment is interactive to encourage children to use and experiment with the language around them in determining what’s linguistically acceptable.

The ‘critical period’ highlights the sophistication of ‘language acquisition’ and proves it not confoundedly innate and biologically linked. Language acquisition is dependent on appropriate linguistic input – such is demonstrated by children who have experienced extreme social isolation. Language experience, in one’s first language, must be gained before a certain age. After the ‘critical period’, vocal mechanisms are set and, having not experienced language adequately, a child will struggle to grasp the language, in spite of its utmost efforts.
Social, physical and environmental factors are all central to language acquisition. Even so that it is never one of these that allow the language acquisition process to operate in unison. For example, a child equipped solely with the necessary vocal mechanisms for language acquisition will not get past the babbling stage. Likewise, a child placed in a milieu where social interaction is minimal might not speak at all. Rather, it is a combination of all factors that attribute linguistic abilities and fluent use of a language.

The stages of language acquisition are dependent on a multitude of factors. The prerequisites of language acquisition are the same for all but, children face various challenges in acquiring a language. Fluency can be attained through comprehension of language– also relying on an interactive environment where children can learn from their mistakes. A combination of social, physical and environmental factors allows the stages of language acquisition to operate in unison.

Bump! I would really like this marked. It's due tomorrow... Essay can be read by clicking on the 'spoiler' tab above, as charmanderp mentioned as well. Thanks in advance guys.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: alchemy on March 12, 2014, 04:59:42 pm
Bump! I would really like this marked. It's due tomorrow... Essay can be read by clicking on the 'spoiler' tab above, as charmanderp mentioned as well. Thanks in advance guys.

Bump! I got an extension :) It's now due tomorrow. Will someone please be able to mark it before then?  :'(    Thank you!
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: lzxnl on March 15, 2014, 02:03:34 pm
Dunno why I couldn't seem to reply earlier, but oh well.

One reason why people may not have looked at the essay is because Language Acquisition is not part of 3/4, so people have largely forgotten what they DID do on Language Acquisition, myself included.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Robert123 on March 24, 2014, 12:15:24 pm
Practice analysis for the article at http://blogs.abc.net.au/thebuzz/2011/04/d-for-disappointing.html
My analysis skills are greatly lacking so please critique it harshly
Spoiler
D for disappointing.

This informal, written blog post, D for Disappointing, was created as an angry outburst about a disappointing performance by Bob Dylan. It takes place the night after the author went to Bluesfest to watch her idol to perform, Bob Dylan. Since she could not see him perform, she creates the blog as a rant which contains numerous morphological and lexical patterning to aid her in discharging her anger.

Morphological and lexical patterning:
There are multiple morphological and lexical features in the text. The primary function of these elements is to stress the informality of the text through the use of nonstandard English. The use of contractions such as “couldn’t” and “that’d” enhances the informality of the text since they are non-standard features of spoken language. By doing so, it enables her to discharge her anger more effectively by appealing to a more intimate audience. This is complemented by the use of assimilation for the lexical item “nothin’” which further stresses the informality of the discourse.

Syntax:
There are myriad syntactical features within the text. Frequent use of fragments and short, simple sentences in the text enable it to be an easier read for a larger range of audience while allowing the author to emphasis her point. On line five, the author uses the two sequential fragments “Bob Dylan. In the flesh” to highlight the importance of seeing the musician play live. This serves a social function as it contrasts with the annoyance of him in the letter, thus portraying her disappointment in him. Furthermore, the use of the imperative “Get over yourself” is indirectly intended for Bob Dylan which serves in allowing the author personal satisfaction as well as a release of anger and tension

Discourse Structure:
Since the text is an extract from a blog post, it conforms to the convention of the text type. This is achieved through the distinct use of coherence such as the heading, “D for Disappointing”, and short paragraphs. These short paragraphs highlight the informality of the text as they demonstrate a lack of complex sentences. Furthermore, the discourse incorporates a letter to Bob Dylan for the last segment as a contrast from the normal convention of a blog post. By doing so, it further emphasises the social function of the text, expression of the disappointment in Bob Dylan.
As this is an opinionated piece, it includes numerous amounts of hedging expressions such as “about” and “kind of”. These phrases are exploited to avoid a definite commitment for the blogger and to remove social distance between the blogger and the audience. Likewise, the writer utilises the euphemistic metaphor “you’re kind of a tool” to be insulting yet polite. This is done so that the author would remain in a positive viewpoint from her audience thus persuading them to agree with her.





Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Mieow on March 29, 2014, 11:02:13 pm
Feedback on my essay would be greatly appreciated. Please be as critical as possible  :P
Spoiler
Language has the power to shock, offend and incite emotion. How have recent stories shown this to be true?
Language can be manipulated to incite a positive or negative emotion according to audience and context. Language is used to conform to covert and overt norms, in which there is an ‘in-group’ and an ‘out-group’. This causes different audiences to interpret language differently, influenced by human experience and their identity. Recent stories in the media reflect these, where advertisements and statements from public figures have evoked mixed reactions from the audience.

Covert and overt norms cause audiences to respond to language differently. The language will be molded in a way that only the ‘in-group’ can comprehend the intended semantics behind the language used, while often the ‘out-group’ will be shocked or disturbed by it. An example of this can be seen in a banned Call of Duty advertisement that was released in 2012, in which utterances such as “some people have steady aim and other people just spray everywhere” were said. This sparked controversy because the wider audience, who were the ‘out-group’, argued that the commercial was inappropriate because of the sexual connotations in the semantics. Conversely, players of the game - who were the ‘in-group’- considered it to be humorous and consequently it built rapport with them. This reflects how the media can strategically formulate language to incite emotions such as shock or humour from their audiences.

Language that might shock some audiences can also be used for social purposes. As Australia values egalitarianism and anti-authoritarianism, swearing does not offend the large majority of the Australian general public because this is perceived as a method of reducing social distance and building solidarity. In 1960 Helen E. Ross explained that “social swearing was intended to be friendly and a sign of ‘being one of the gang’” which accurately describes the purpose of swearing in an Australian setting. In 2012, a leaked video of the former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd showed him swearing for its expletive functions such as using declarative “this fucking language…” Although some were offended by it, many Australians perceived Rudd to be more relatable and a ‘true Australian bloke’.

However, society does not tolerate language that targets gender, race, religion, sexual orientation etc. Lexemes that discriminate aspects of people that they cannot change, for example being a woman, being of African-American descent, or being homosexual, are less tolerated and are often more loaded. The media will often employ swearing for its stylistic feature although it will cause controversy from some audiences, but offensive language will spark controversy from almost all audiences without the need to swear. For example, current Prime Minister of Australia Tony Abbott said in February 2010 “we just can’t stop people from being homeless if that’s their choice.” The Australian audience perceived this to be incorrect and offensive as they argued that homelessness is never a choice. Swearing was absent in Abbott’s statement, but it was still considered offensive because it targets a certain group for something beyond their control which evoked the audience’s morality.

Stories in the media and public figures prove that language can incite emotions of shock, humour or empathy from the audience. They respond to language differently because of covert and overt norms, where some groups embrace the pragmatics behind the language and others reject it. To Australian audiences, language that is deemed offensive and shocking such as swearing by other countries is often perceived as relatable and ‘Australian’. However there is a distinction between swearing and offensive language, in which the latter is more loaded and touches on society’s values for social justice. Authors Frompkin, Blair and Collins attest to this in stating that “words and language are not intrinsically good or bad but reflect individual or societal values’.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: MrsNicoleB on April 11, 2014, 04:25:07 pm
For Mieow:
Great essay overall. 
Being picky - I would consider revising your topic sentences - some of them are not clear (in meaning), some of them aren't topic sentences.
"Covert and overt norms cause audiences to respond to language differently." - link this to the question - don't make the examiner read between the lines.  Make it clear why this aspect is relevant.
"Language that might shock some audiences can also be used for social purposes." - no kidding, all language has a social purpose.  Re-word so that you're saying something more meaningful.  I would be specific and list the contrasting purpose, rather than just saying 'other purposes'.
"However, society does not tolerate language that targets gender, race, religion, sexual orientation etc. "  Avoid starting a sentence with "however" - grammar nazis will be out to get you, and this sentence is not linked to the question.  Ditto for writing 'etc' in an essay - don't do it.  Ever.  You can be more specific or add 'such as' somewhere into the sentence. 
I recommend using words from the question in your topic sentences, that way it is very clear that you are on topic.

For Robert123:
Topic sentences are very vague.  Skip the vague sentence and discuss the purpose in the topic sentence instead.
contractions are "non-standard features of spoken language." - erm, re-word.  They are not non-standard, nor are they only used in spoken language.
Overall you had many interesting things to say about the text, well done :)
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: psyxwar on May 04, 2014, 09:00:03 pm
Feedback on my commentary please! It's on Obama's speech announcing bin Laden's death. Speech under first spoiler tag, commentary under second.

Obama's Speech
Barack Obama Announces Osama bin Laden’s death
May 2011

Good evening. Tonight, I can report to the American people and to the world that the United States has conducted an operation that killed Osama bin Laden, the leader of al Qaeda, and a terrorist who's responsible for the murder of thousands of innocent men, women, and children.

It was nearly 10 years ago that a bright September day was darkened by the worst attack on the American people in our history. The images of 9/11 are seared into our national memory -- hijacked planes cutting through a cloudless September sky; the Twin Towers collapsing to the ground; black smoke billowing up from the Pentagon; the wreckage of Flight 93 in Shanksville, Pennsylvania, where the actions of heroic citizens saved even more heartbreak and destruction.

And yet we know that the worst images are those that were unseen to the world. The empty seat at the dinner table. Children who were forced to grow up without their mother or their father. Parents who would never know the feeling of their child's embrace. Nearly 3,000 citizens taken from us, leaving a gaping hole in our hearts.

On September 11, 2001, in our time of grief, the American people came together. We offered our neighbours a hand, and we offered the wounded our blood. We reaffirmed our ties to each other, and our love of community and country. On that day, no matter where we came from, what God we prayed to, or what race or ethnicity we were, we were united as one American family.

We were also united in our resolve to protect our nation and to bring those who committed this vicious attack to justice. We quickly learned that the 9/11 attacks were carried out by al Qaeda -- an organization headed by Osama bin Laden, which had openly declared war on the United States and was committed to killing innocents in our country and around the globe. And so we went to war against al Qaeda to protect our citizens, our friends, and our allies.

Over the last 10 years, thanks to the tireless and heroic work of our military and our counterterrorism professionals, we've made great strides in that effort. We've disrupted terrorist attacks and strengthened our homeland defence. In Afghanistan, we removed the Taliban government, which had given bin Laden and al Qaeda safe haven and support. And around the globe, we worked with our friends and allies to capture or kill scores of al Qaeda terrorists, including several who were a part of the 9/11 plot.

Yet Osama bin Laden avoided capture and escaped across the Afghan border into Pakistan. Meanwhile, al Qaeda continued to operate from along that border and operate through its affiliates across the world.

And so shortly after taking office, I directed Leon Panetta, the director of the CIA, to make the killing or capture of bin Laden the top priority of our war against al Qaeda, even as we continued our broader efforts to disrupt, dismantle, and defeat his network.

Then, last August, after years of painstaking work by our intelligence community, I was briefed on a possible lead to bin Laden. It was far from certain, and it took many months to run this thread to ground. I met repeatedly with my national security team as we developed more information about the possibility that we had located bin Laden hiding within a compound deep inside of Pakistan. And finally, last week, I determined that we had enough intelligence to take action, and authorized an operation to get Osama bin Laden and bring him to justice.

Today, at my direction, the United States launched a targeted operation against that compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan. A small team of Americans carried out the operation with extraordinary courage and capability. No Americans were harmed. They took care to avoid civilian casualties. After a firefight, they killed Osama bin Laden and took custody of his body.

For over two decades, bin Laden has been al Qaeda's leader and symbol, and has continued to plot attacks against our country and our friends and allies. The death of bin Laden marks the most significant achievement to date in our nation's effort to defeat al Qaeda.

Yet his death does not mark the end of our effort. There's no doubt that al Qaeda will continue to pursue attacks against us. We must -- and we will -- remain vigilant at home and abroad.

As we do, we must also reaffirm that the United States is not -- and never will be -- at war with Islam. I've made clear, just as President Bush did shortly after 9/11, that our war is not against Islam. Bin Laden was not a Muslim leader; he was a mass murderer of Muslims. Indeed, al Qaeda has slaughtered scores of Muslims in many countries, including our own. So his demise should be welcomed by all who believe in peace and human dignity.

Over the years, I've repeatedly made clear that we would take action within Pakistan if we knew where bin Laden was. That is what we've done. But it's important to note that our counterterrorism cooperation with Pakistan helped lead us to bin Laden and the compound where he was hiding. Indeed, bin Laden had declared war against Pakistan as well, and ordered attacks against the Pakistani people.

Tonight, I called President Zardari, and my team has also spoken with their Pakistani counterparts. They agree that this is a good and historic day for both of our nations. And going forward, it is essential that Pakistan continue to join us in the fight against al Qaeda and its affiliates.

The American people did not choose this fight. It came to our shores, and started with the senseless slaughter of our citizens. After nearly 10 years of service, struggle, and sacrifice, we know well the costs of war. These efforts weigh on me every time I, as Commander-in-Chief, have to sign a letter to a family that has lost a loved one, or look into the eyes of a service member who's been gravely wounded.

So Americans understand the costs of war. Yet as a country, we will never tolerate our security being threatened, nor stand idly by when our people have been killed. We will be relentless in defence of our citizens and our friends and allies. We will be true to the values that make us who we are. And on nights like this one, we can say to those families who have lost loved ones to al Qaeda's terror: Justice has been done.

Tonight, we give thanks to the countless intelligence and counterterrorism professionals who've worked tirelessly to achieve this outcome. The American people do not see their work, nor  know their names. But tonight, they feel the satisfaction of their work and the result of their pursuit of justice.

We give thanks for the men who carried out this operation, for they exemplify the professionalism, patriotism, and unparalleled courage of those who serve our country. And they are part of a generation that has borne the heaviest share of the burden since that September day.

Finally, let me say to the families who lost loved ones on 9/11 that we have never forgotten your loss, nor wavered in our commitment to see that we do whatever it takes to prevent another attack on our shores.

And tonight, let us think back to the sense of unity that prevailed on 9/11. I know that it has, at times, frayed. Yet today's achievement is a testament to the greatness of our country and the determination of the American people.

The cause of securing our country is not complete. But tonight, we are once again reminded that America can do whatever we set our mind to. That is the story of our history, whether it's the pursuit of prosperity for our people, or the struggle for equality for all our citizens; our commitment to stand up for our values abroad, and our sacrifices to make the world a safer place.

Let us remember that we can do these things not just because of wealth or power, but because of who we are: one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Thank you. May God bless you. And may God bless the United States of America.

Commentary
The text is a speech by US President Barrack Obama announcing the death of Osama bin Laden, leader of the terrorist organisation al Qaeda. It's ostensible function is referential; it is informing the American people -- and those of the wider world -- about bin Laden's demise as well as giving information about the 9/11 attacks and the impacts they had on the American community. However, it also serves a secondary function in promoting the Obama administration to the American people, making them more willing to vote for them in the next election.  The text's register is formal and is reflected through the use of formal lexis such as 'billowing' (11), 'conducted' (5) and 'counterterrorism' (31) and the text's general syntactic complexity.

The text's lexis reflects its social purposes. Obama's use of proper nouns 'Osama bin Laden' (5), 'al Qaeda' (5), 'Flight 93' (11) and the 'United States' (4) immediately conveys to the reader the nature of the speech  and sets the tone as a serious one. The noun phrase "9/11" (19) is used throughout the text and is an exophoric reference to the plane hijacking that occurred on September 11, 2001. Obama utilises inference to convey his message in a more concise and effective manner - his audience is familiar with what "9/11" refers to and the term has come to represent the event. Obama uses the active lexical verbs 'collapsing' (10), 'conducted', 'killed' (5) and 'saved' (12) to effectively convey the events that have happened, and the use of the active voice serves to make the events more personal to the audience, as well as placing syntactic front focus on the persons responsible. For example, the clause "that the United States has conducted an operation that killed Osama bin Laden" (5) emphasises that it was the United States that killed Osama bin Laden and the use of the active voice subtly suggests that bin Laden's death was a result of a sustained, active effort on the part of the United States; they did not simply stumble upon him. Obama also is trying to stress the importance of unity amongst the American people, and this is achieved through the repeated use of lexeme 'unity' and near-synonyms such as 'indivisible' (22,24, 105,115) and the prevalent use of inclusive pronouns in the text 'we' (14,24,27,31, etc), 'our' (20,21,30,45,etc), which serves to make American listeners feel as if this is their achievement and helps reinforce Obama's point that together the American people are strong. This also helps fulfil the text's secondary function in making the Obama administration look more appealing to American voters - Americans who are not Democrats are encouraged to put their differences aside and support Obama, whom is portrayed is a very capable leader thanks to the killing of bin Laden. This is further exemplified by Obama's description of bin Laden as al Qaeda's 'leader and symbol' (57) and his killing a 'significant achievement' (59), making the American people feel that America, and thus by extension the current Obama administration, has made great strides forward in the war against terrorism.

Obama uses figurative language to paint a vivid picture in the audience's mind of the devastation caused by al Qaeda on 9/11. The metaphor 'that a bright September day was darkened by the worst attack on the American people in our history' uses the contrast between the denotations of lexemes 'bright' and 'darkened' to convey how devastating the 9/11 attacks were, highlighting the text's referential function.  Similarly, the metaphor 'hijacked planes cutting through a cloudless September sky' (9-10) exemplifies the destruction caused by the hijacked planes by making the audience visualise the planes as sharp knives that are destructive enough to cut even the sky. Obama describes the immediate aftermath of 9/11 in vivid detail through the use of short, active, descriptive sentences strung together in a paratactic style 'hijacked planes cutting through a cloudless September sky; the Twin Towers collapsing to the ground; black smoke billowing up from the Pentagon' (9-11).  This is used to help capture the chaos that surrounded 9/11; the use of discrete sentences strung together captures how quickly the events unfolded - one thing occurred after the other, with there being very little time to react. Obama also employs the rhetorical device of triplets frequently. The triplet 'a terrorist who's responsible for the murder of thousands of innocent men, women and children' (6) is used to highlight the indiscriminate nature of bin Laden's killings and how nobody was spared, even if he or she was a child. The use of near-synonyms 'citizens', 'friends' and 'allies' (28)  in the triplet  'we went to war against al Qaeda to protect our citizens, our friends, and our allies' (28)  that differ slightly in meaning reinforces America's resolve to protect anybody on their side.  His use of triplets also serve a more general function in making the speech more engaging. Obama also employs euphemism and buzzwords that are characteristic of political discourse in his speech. In line 32, he euphemistically refers to how America 'removed' (32) the Taliban government.  The verb 'remove' does not have negative connotations and the audience does not associate it with the bloodshed and horror characteristic of war; it is painted as a quick, clean operation akin to removing a stain from a shirt. The euphemistic 'firefight' (55) is also used to describe the killing of bin Laden rather than the more appropriate 'assassination'. Assassination carries very negative connotations and Obama does not want the audience to view this as a state sanctioned assassination; rather, he is painting it as a two-sided conflict where bin Laden fought back and where the only option the NAVY Seals had was to kill him. The jargonistic buzzword 'targeted operation' (52) is ambiguous and is also used to avoid explicitly stating that it was an assassination.

Syntactically, the speech's structure is predominantly complex and compound-complex, reflecting its formal register. Obama uses relative clauses to provide the audience with additional information such as 'that were unseen to the world' (14) and 'which had openly declared war on the United States and was committed to killing innocents in our country' (27), helping to fulfil the text's referential function. However, short simple sentences such as 'No Americans were harmed' (54) are employed occasionally to break up the rhythm and make the speech sound more interesting, as well as to convey information concisely. In fact, Obama employs a paratactic style by stringing together discrete sentence fragments together in lines 14-16 'The empty seat at the dinner table. Children who were forced to grow up without their mother or their father. Parents who would never know the feeling of their child's embrace'. These sentences fragments are noun phrases and refer to those who were affected most by 9/11 - the families of the victims. The lack of predicates in these sentence fragments places emphasis on these people and gives it a greater impact by forcing the audience to dwell over and think about the consequences 9/11 had on these people without explicitly stating it. The majority of sentences in the text are declarative, fitting in with it referential function and helping to facilitate the effective communication of information. The imperatives 'May God bless you' (117) and 'may God bless the United States of America' are part of the formulaic closing and is characteristic of the text's formal nature and its text type as a presidential speech. He utilises adverbials of time frequently to pre-modify his sentences, allowing him to paint a timeline of events in the reader's mind for the actions leading up to the eventual killing of Osama bin Laden and thus serving to make the speech more coherent by giving it a logical structure. The adverbial "On September 11, 2001" (19)  is used to qualify when the 'American people came together' and when the American 'time of grief' was. The use of the adverbial "so shortly after taking office" (41) to describe Obama's direction to CIA director Leon Panetta to make killing or capturing bin Laden a top priority paints the Obama administration in a positive light; they seem competent and attuned to the interests of the American public because they were able to deal with bin Laden.  The adverbial "For over two decades" (57) is used to premodify a sentence on bin Laden's role in al Qaeda and serves the text's referential function by informing younger readers as to how long Osama bin Laden has been a thorn in the side of the US. It also emphasises how great the achievement of killing bin Laden is, which fulfils the text's secondary function through making Obama more appealing as a President for the American people.  Obama also employs antithesis in line 66-67 'Bin Laden was not a Muslim leader; he was a mass murder of Muslims' in an effort to make Americans more sympathetic to Islam and more aware of the fact that Muslim extremists are not representative of the entire religion. The contrast between 'Muslim leader' and 'mass murderer of Muslims' turns Muslims from perpetrators to victims in the eyes of the American public, and helps the audience understand that Muslims too detest bin Laden.

The speech is a cohesive and coherent one. Anaphoric references are frequently used, such as  'we' in line 19 referring to the 'American people' (19). This reduces clutter in the speech through not repeating lengthy noun phrases such as 'American people' and thus makes the speech more cohesive.  A topic comment structure is also employed in lines 22-24 "On that day, no matter where we came from, what God we prayed to or what ethnicity we were, we were united as one American family. We are also united in our resolve...". This makes the speech more coherent by grouping ideas thematically; Obama brings up the concept of unity, and then elaborates on it.  Sentence initial coordinating conjunctions such as 'yet' (37), 'and' (41) serve to link ideas together and make the speech more cohesive and coherent by giving the speech a logical ordering.

Overall, the speech is a coherent and cohesive one that fulfils both its referential function in informing Americans and people of the world of the killing of bin Laden and its secondary function in promoting the Obama administration.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Robert123 on May 26, 2014, 12:13:28 pm
Practice analysis for the Blurb at [url=http://www.sustainableseafood.org.au/Sustainable-Seafood-Guide-Australia.asp?active_page_id=697]
Please critique harshly
Spoiler
Promotional Blurb Analysis.

Text 5: Promotional Blurb Analysis
This text is a formal promotional blurb for the “AMCS Sustainable Seafood Guide”. The social purpose of the text is to inform potential customers of the damage done by overfishing in Australia to persuade them in buying this guide about buying sustainable seafood.
Lexical choice:
The text incorporate a frequent use of the first person plural pronouns- “we” (6, 7, 11, 12, 42, 44) and “us“(6, 10)-  as well as the first person plural possessive pronoun- “our” (1, 14). By doing so, it demonstrate to potential buyers  that the result of destruction in the ocean due to overfishing is due to them, therefore, making them responsibility for fixing it. This aids the social purpose since it persuade them to buy this guide as it will help solve the “global fishing crisis” (45). Fishing and cooking jargon such as “marine” (26), “panacea” (11), “aquaculture” (32) and “southern bluefin tuna” (37 are also utilise within the text. By using these lexical items, it adds credibility to the statistics that show that “overfishing is the single biggest threat to our oceans” (23), thus persuading the customers that this is a great crisis that need to be dealt with, hence, the need of the seafood guide.
The rhyming phrase “clean and green” (4&5) give a visual memory cue of the high standard of produce we rely on. Adjectives such as “Leading” (26), “dispassionate” (30), “alarming” (23) and “grim” (42) give the audience a vivid image of the situation while adding credibility and formality to the text. This demonstrates to the audience that the threat from overfishing is indisputable and must be dealt with.
Syntax:
Since this text is attempting to persuade future customers by using factual evidence, it primarily uses declarative sentences such as “Leading marine scientists are saying that unless we fast-track massive changes to the way we manage our seas, we face a continued crash in fish stocks” (26-28).  In general, the text utilises an active voice to clearly demonstrate a cause and effect relationship in solving the overfishing crisis as seen in line 44-45, “If we act now, we can avoid the global fishing crisis- if we take action now”. By using the active voice, it obviously demonstrates to the audience that this crisis can be solved by buying this guide.

Cohesion and Coherence
This text is structured by the use of paragraphs to allow a logical progression of ideas throughout the text which aids cohesions. The first 2 paragraphs give an introduction to how fish has become the “centrepiece of Australian cuisine” (6). This is built upon in paragraph four which demonstrate the damage done by overfishing using factual evidence to support it social purpose of persuasion. Finally, the text concludes this progression of ideas in the last two paragraphs by concluding that “we need… a guide without commercial bias” (47-49) which clearly states the overall function of this text.




Thanks
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Marrogi12 on June 01, 2014, 09:25:02 pm
hey guys , feedback on my essay on formal language would be greatly appreciated , English teacher is too lazy to reply to emails -_-   
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Reus on June 01, 2014, 10:42:48 pm
hey guys , feedback on my essay on formal language would be greatly appreciated , English teacher is too lazy to reply to emails -_-

Great essay, however lacks an adequate amount of examples and clarification. Note you are also missing a conclusion, an integral statement which summarises your contention.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: MrsNicoleB on June 27, 2014, 02:02:23 pm
Practice analysis for the Blurb at [url=http://www.sustainableseafood.org.au/Sustainable-Seafood-Guide-Australia.asp?active_page_id=697]
Please critique harshly
Spoiler
Promotional Blurb Analysis.

Text 5: Promotional Blurb Analysis
This text is a formal promotional blurb for the “AMCS Sustainable Seafood Guide”. The social purpose of the text is to inform potential customers of the damage done by overfishing in Australia to persuade them in buying this guide about buying sustainable seafood.
Lexical choice:
The text incorporate a frequent use of the first person plural pronouns- “we” (6, 7, 11, 12, 42, 44) and “us“(6, 10)-  as well as the first person plural possessive pronoun- “our” (1, 14). By doing so, it demonstrate to potential buyers  that the result of destruction in the ocean due to overfishing is due to them, therefore, making them responsibility for fixing it. This aids the social purpose since it persuade them to buy this guide as it will help solve the “global fishing crisis” (45). Fishing and cooking jargon such as “marine” (26), “panacea” (11), “aquaculture” (32) and “southern bluefin tuna” (37 are also utilise within the text. By using these lexical items, it adds credibility to the statistics that show that “overfishing is the single biggest threat to our oceans” (23), thus persuading the customers that this is a great crisis that need to be dealt with, hence, the need of the seafood guide.
The rhyming phrase “clean and green” (4&5) give a visual memory cue of the high standard of produce we rely on. Adjectives such as “Leading” (26), “dispassionate” (30), “alarming” (23) and “grim” (42) give the audience a vivid image of the situation while adding credibility and formality to the text. This demonstrates to the audience that the threat from overfishing is indisputable and must be dealt with.
Syntax:
Since this text is attempting to persuade future customers by using factual evidence, it primarily uses declarative sentences such as “Leading marine scientists are saying that unless we fast-track massive changes to the way we manage our seas, we face a continued crash in fish stocks” (26-28).  In general, the text utilises an active voice to clearly demonstrate a cause and effect relationship in solving the overfishing crisis as seen in line 44-45, “If we act now, we can avoid the global fishing crisis- if we take action now”. By using the active voice, it obviously demonstrates to the audience that this crisis can be solved by buying this guide.

Cohesion and Coherence
This text is structured by the use of paragraphs to allow a logical progression of ideas throughout the text which aids cohesions. The first 2 paragraphs give an introduction to how fish has become the “centrepiece of Australian cuisine” (6). This is built upon in paragraph four which demonstrate the damage done by overfishing using factual evidence to support it social purpose of persuasion. Finally, the text concludes this progression of ideas in the last two paragraphs by concluding that “we need… a guide without commercial bias” (47-49) which clearly states the overall function of this text.




Thanks

o   Make mention of ‘audience’ rather than just ‘potential buyers’ – I think it would make it a stronger point (where you discuss how ‘they’re responsible’). 
o   Cooking jargon – where are the examples?  Do you know what ‘panacea’ means?  Look it up…  It is not related to cooking or fishing.
o   Visual memory cue – rethink.  This is not metalanguage that we use in EL.  Try ‘assonance,’ or ‘collocation’
o   With the ‘alarming’ etc examples, try to discuss one or two in more detail i.e. explain why you think those words in particular have been chosen.  This kind of description is much more valuable than just ‘vivid image’. 
o   You need to discuss all aspects of the context.  Make sure all points are linked back to an aspect of context i.e. function / social purpose, field, mode (and discourse form), setting (public/private), relationship between participants.  Remember, the main question we’re answering with an analysis is ‘how does the context influence the language used?’
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Marrogi12 on July 02, 2014, 08:07:40 pm
hey guys im not sure if this thread is still active ,but feedback on my essay would be great , wrote it in an hour on paper ( sac revision )  then quickly transferred it word for word on my computer  :D ;D
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: psyxwar on July 13, 2014, 06:04:36 pm
Feedback for the below essay is appreciated. Am I using enough contemporary examples?
Topic: How are the linguistic features of public language used to exercise power and authority in contemporary Australian society?
Public language is the language of political and business leaders and civil servants; the language of power and of influence (Don Watson).  Hence, as public language is associated with the upper echelons of society, it follows that it serves a role in highlighting power differentials and asserting authority. In contemporary Australian society, this is achieved through the depersonalisation of texts, the use of jargon in establishing expertise as well as to obfuscate meaning, and the conformance to negative face norms.

Formal syntactic features are frequently employed in public discourse in order to depersonalise and obfuscate. Nominalisation is frequent and involves the conversion in word class from verbs to nouns. Hence, actions become concepts, which are inherently more abstract, and harder to comprehend. For example, the sentence 'I met my friend' becomes 'I was in attendance at a meeting with my friend', which is lengthier, more complex and more difficult to derive meaning from. The nominalised style makes texts more authoritative and distant because it is reminiscent of the erudite style of formal academic texts (Burridge), which is objective and depersonalised. Agentless passives also serve to depersonalise by removing the actor of a sentence altogether, removing the human quality of a sentence and thus making it a more objective, detached recounting of facts. This depersonalisation removes the ability of the text to appeal to human sentiment and thus removes any potential common ground between writer and audience, emphasising the social distance between the two and hence underscoring the authority of the speaker. The fact that the performer of an action is ellipted altogether with the agentless passive also serves to obfuscate; information can deliberately be withheld from the audience. The ostensible function of this may be to omit irrelevant or unnecessary information, but it also means that those in positions of authority can hide information under this pretence of it not being relevant to the public. This cements the power differential between those in positions of power and those not, as it implies that the public is not qualified to or needs to know such information, but those in positions of power do.

Jargon is also a linguistic feature that is frequently used to exercise power and authority in the public domain. It is the technical language of a particular field, and its use makes the speaker seem more knowledgeable and more authoritative on a particular issue. Jargon's ostensible function is to convey meaning precisely and economically to an in-group that is familiar with the field being discussed and thus familiar with its associated jargon. However, its frequent use in a political context - a context where a good portion of the audience is not familiar with the jargon being used - is not done with the interests of clarity or the audience at heart. It is deliberately used to make the speaker sound like he knows what he is talking about whilst being vague, ambiguous and difficult for the audience to understand. In the Australian Government's Budget Speech for the fiscal year beginning July 2014, Treasurer Joe Hockey used complex, jargonistic terms such as 'medical research endowment fund', 'Economic Action Strategy', and  'corporate welfare'. The audience is able to roughly decode the meaning of such terms, but what Treasurer Hockey is actually referring to is unclear. For example, the proper noun phrase 'Economic Action Strategy' likely refers to the government's plan for tackling the budget deficit, but it is not clear to the audience if this refers to the actions outlined in the budget or some devious measure yet to come.  Furthermore, jargon has been applied broadly to many inappropriate contexts, and the consequence of this is that it loses its denotative meaning and becomes a 'weasel word' - a meaningless word whose only function is to sound impressive. For example, Treasurer Hockey describes the budget's tough measures as 'sustainable' - the lexeme 'sustainable' has had its meaning eroded through 'repetitive parrot like use' (Don-Watson) and in this context functions as nothing more than a hollow justification for the government's tough measures. This serves to paint the government in a better light and to make it seem as if they have a good idea of what they are doing, thus asserting power and authority.

Maintaining social distance is a key facet of asserting power and authority, and hence adhering to negative politeness principles is a technique that can be used to underscore power differentials.  Verbs of high modality such as 'will', 'must', 'can', 'may' dictate obligation, permission, ability and desire and hence their use implies that the speaker is in a position of authority. For example, the terms and conditions of the 2014 Australian Open states that 'guests may not bring children under 3 to the AO without a ticket for that child'. In this context, the modal auxiliary 'may' is used to assert what guests are and are not able to do, setting boundaries and asserting the power that the management of the Australian Open has over the guests at the event. Prime Minister Tony Abbott also frequently employs the modal auxiliary 'can', for example 'We are getting spending down, so that we can get taxes down'. Its use implies ability but not obligation; the government is not committed to action, merely stating that doing one thing will give them the ability to do another. In the world of politics, the mastery over the precise denotations of words is a necessity, as it enables politicians to play games with semantics. In the above example, Abbott technically did not promise to lower taxes, and hence if he does not follow through he can argue he has not actually broken any promises. This sort of careful language use enables politicians to manipulate public perceptions towards them and thus allows them to stay in power for longer. Society also dictates that those in positions of power are referred to by honorifics such as 'Prime Minister', 'Sir', 'Madam'.  The non-reciprocal use of address terms highlights the difference in power and position between two individuals - for example, in a classroom environment a teacher would call a student by their given name, but a student would use the address term 'mister' or 'sir'.

As linguist Norman Fairclough put it 'the use of language for control purposes is simultaneously a reflection of existing power relationships and an exercise in extending and entrenching them'. Therefore, power and authority can be entrenched and extended in the public sphere in contemporary Australian society through the use of obfuscation and depersonalisation, the conformance to negative politeness norms, and carefully crafted lexical choice.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: emilyhobbes on July 16, 2014, 04:16:05 pm
Feedback for the below essay is appreciated. Am I using enough contemporary examples?
Topic: How are the linguistic features of public language used to exercise power and authority in contemporary Australian society?
Public language is the language of political and business leaders and civil servants; the language of power and of influence (Don Watson).  Hence, as public language is associated with the upper echelons of society, it follows that it serves a role in highlighting power differentials and asserting authority. In contemporary Australian society, this is achieved through the depersonalisation of texts, the use of jargon in establishing expertise as well as to obfuscate meaning, and the conformance to negative face norms.

Formal syntactic features are frequently employed in public discourse in order to depersonalise and obfuscate. Nominalisation is frequent and involves the conversion in word class from verbs to nouns. Hence, actions become concepts, which are inherently more abstract, and harder to comprehend. For example, the sentence 'I met my friend' becomes 'I was in attendance at a meeting with my friend', which is lengthier, more complex and more difficult to derive meaning from. The nominalised style makes texts more authoritative and distant because it is reminiscent of the erudite style of formal academic texts (Burridge), which is objective and depersonalised. Agentless passives also serve to depersonalise by removing the actor of a sentence altogether, removing the human quality of a sentence and thus making it a more objective, detached recounting of facts. This depersonalisation removes the ability of the text to appeal to human sentiment and thus removes any potential common ground between writer and audience, emphasising the social distance between the two and hence underscoring the authority of the speaker. The fact that the performer of an action is ellipted altogether with the agentless passive also serves to obfuscate; information can deliberately be withheld from the audience. The ostensible function of this may be to omit irrelevant or unnecessary information, but it also means that those in positions of authority can hide information under this pretence of it not being relevant to the public. This cements the power differential between those in positions of power and those not, as it implies that the public is not qualified to or needs to know such information, but those in positions of power do.

Jargon is also a linguistic feature that is frequently used to exercise power and authority in the public domain. It is the technical language of a particular field, and its use makes the speaker seem more knowledgeable and more authoritative on a particular issue. Jargon's ostensible function is to convey meaning precisely and economically to an in-group that is familiar with the field being discussed and thus familiar with its associated jargon. However, its frequent use in a political context - a context where a good portion of the audience is not familiar with the jargon being used - is not done with the interests of clarity or the audience at heart. It is deliberately used to make the speaker sound like he knows what he is talking about whilst being vague, ambiguous and difficult for the audience to understand. In the Australian Government's Budget Speech for the fiscal year beginning July 2014, Treasurer Joe Hockey used complex, jargonistic terms such as 'medical research endowment fund', 'Economic Action Strategy', and  'corporate welfare'. The audience is able to roughly decode the meaning of such terms, but what Treasurer Hockey is actually referring to is unclear. For example, the proper noun phrase 'Economic Action Strategy' likely refers to the government's plan for tackling the budget deficit, but it is not clear to the audience if this refers to the actions outlined in the budget or some devious measure yet to come.  Furthermore, jargon has been applied broadly to many inappropriate contexts, and the consequence of this is that it loses its denotative meaning and becomes a 'weasel word' - a meaningless word whose only function is to sound impressive. For example, Treasurer Hockey describes the budget's tough measures as 'sustainable' - the lexeme 'sustainable' has had its meaning eroded through 'repetitive parrot like use' (Don-Watson) and in this context functions as nothing more than a hollow justification for the government's tough measures. This serves to paint the government in a better light and to make it seem as if they have a good idea of what they are doing, thus asserting power and authority.

Maintaining social distance is a key facet of asserting power and authority, and hence adhering to negative politeness principles is a technique that can be used to underscore power differentials.  Verbs of high modality such as 'will', 'must', 'can', 'may' dictate obligation, permission, ability and desire and hence their use implies that the speaker is in a position of authority. For example, the terms and conditions of the 2014 Australian Open states that 'guests may not bring children under 3 to the AO without a ticket for that child'. In this context, the modal auxiliary 'may' is used to assert what guests are and are not able to do, setting boundaries and asserting the power that the management of the Australian Open has over the guests at the event. Prime Minister Tony Abbott also frequently employs the modal auxiliary 'can', for example 'We are getting spending down, so that we can get taxes down'. Its use implies ability but not obligation; the government is not committed to action, merely stating that doing one thing will give them the ability to do another. In the world of politics, the mastery over the precise denotations of words is a necessity, as it enables politicians to play games with semantics. In the above example, Abbott technically did not promise to lower taxes, and hence if he does not follow through he can argue he has not actually broken any promises. This sort of careful language use enables politicians to manipulate public perceptions towards them and thus allows them to stay in power for longer. Society also dictates that those in positions of power are referred to by honorifics such as 'Prime Minister', 'Sir', 'Madam'.  The non-reciprocal use of address terms highlights the difference in power and position between two individuals - for example, in a classroom environment a teacher would call a student by their given name, but a student would use the address term 'mister' or 'sir'.

As linguist Norman Fairclough put it 'the use of language for control purposes is simultaneously a reflection of existing power relationships and an exercise in extending and entrenching them'. Therefore, power and authority can be entrenched and extended in the public sphere in contemporary Australian society through the use of obfuscation and depersonalisation, the conformance to negative politeness norms, and carefully crafted lexical choice.

Hey, this is a great essay overall, just a few comments:
- good intro, it's to the point and signposts where you're going with the essay
- first paragraph: I know you've used the "I met my friend" example, but it'd be a stronger if you found an example from the media. At the moment, you're discussing agentless passives and nominalisation quite generally, so I think if you could work in an example and kind of work your discussion around it, it'd be a more robust point.
- second paragraph: with this phrase, "speaker sound like he knows what he is talking about", I'd probably try to reword it so it's gender neutral. Great example, it's recent and shows you've been paying attention to language being used in contemporary society
- third paragraph: really good, but maybe find a linguist quote to incorporate in there?

But yeah, well done! as the year goes on, keep looking for a wide range of linguist quotes to use :)



Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: psyxwar on July 17, 2014, 12:40:29 am
Hey, this is a great essay overall, just a few comments:
- good intro, it's to the point and signposts where you're going with the essay
- first paragraph: I know you've used the "I met my friend" example, but it'd be a stronger if you found an example from the media. At the moment, you're discussing agentless passives and nominalisation quite generally, so I think if you could work in an example and kind of work your discussion around it, it'd be a more robust point.
- second paragraph: with this phrase, "speaker sound like he knows what he is talking about", I'd probably try to reword it so it's gender neutral. Great example, it's recent and shows you've been paying attention to language being used in contemporary society
- third paragraph: really good, but maybe find a linguist quote to incorporate in there?

But yeah, well done! as the year goes on, keep looking for a wide range of linguist quotes to use :)
Thanks for the feedback, will definitely keep it in mind :D
Title: Essay help
Post by: dannynips on August 09, 2014, 07:59:49 pm
Hi all, if anyone is looking for essay practise or could share some great ideas I definitely need help for the following essay. Any help would be much appreciated!!

What does Australian English look and sound like today, and how does it reflect our identity as a nation?

Stimulus material is attached as a photo(http://img.tapatalk.com/d/14/08/09/9a4eda4a.jpg)

THANKS!
Title: Re: Essay help
Post by: aqple on August 10, 2014, 01:11:51 pm
This is a very broad essay question so you can write about a range of things. It basically asks about the lexical and phonological aspects of Australian English (look and sound), so you must discuss this in relation to Australian identity. You could talk about:

-what is unique about AE, how this reflects and builds our identity and character (accent, idioms, diminutives)
-multiculturalism and how this has influenced AE (wogspeak, ethnolects)
-globalisation of Australia and how American English has impacted AE

You could even write a paragraph about our history, so how Australia's accent has evolved, where it came from and what aspects have been maintained and how this reflects our identity today.
Title: Re: Essay help
Post by: dannynips on August 10, 2014, 05:57:18 pm
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Title: Re: Essay help
Post by: dannynips on August 10, 2014, 06:01:18 pm
Thanks very much for your feedback! I have gone down that line with the exception of ethonolects.

A few quick qns:

1. Does Aus English refer to standard aboriginal and ethnolects?
2. Does stimulus material B) when talking about accents is that referring to broad general cultivated or is it meaning australian , aboriginal ethonlects ? Or both?

Also I'll attach my unfinished essay below and please critique and be as honest as possible. Any feedback is helpful. I haven't written my last paragraph or conclusion which will be centered around Americas influence.

My essay so far:



Australian English is a major variety of English used across Australia, containing many distinct linguistic features making it look and sound unique and different to other Englishes. It serves as a fundamental token of the Australian national identity and is forever adapting to reflect this ever-changing Australian identity. The Australian accent is arguably our most salient feature which has undergone great change and an important bearer of history in regards to our identity. Australia’s use of slang and taboo language contribute to manifesting the national identity, however in the modern age, America’s dominance in the entertainment industry has had a large influence on Australian English. Language use in Australia has adapted and currently is indubitably an important medium to express the modern Australian identity.
The Australian English is reflective of the history of the nation and the values that are instilled in Australians. The abstract noun ‘mateship’ or the common noun ‘larrikin’ are examples of distinctly Australian lexis which reflect the self-perception of the Australian identity as they value comradery (mateship) and actually endorse boisterousness and cheekiness within a good hearted person (the modern idea of a larrikin). Instead of adopting the rhotic emphasis on /r/ that Americans are characterised by, Australians have continued to pronounce words like butter as /bʌtə/ showing the Australian perception of being laid back and easy going.  The broad Australian accent is internationally recognised as being iconically Australian, despite it only being spoken by the minority today. The accent veered up the continuum towards the more prestigious cultivated accent late 19th century as an inflow of British immigrants arrived and the Received Pronunciation became prominent. Then during the First World War to distinguish Australians from the British the accent moved away from cultivated towards broad again. The general accent is the middle ground and is the most popular accent spoken nowadays in Australia by roughly 80 per cent of the population. This accent is our “bearer of history” and maintains our identity by still sounding distinctly Australian but avoids the negative stigma often associated with the broad accent.

A widely recognised feature of Australian English is its informality and colloquial creativity. Australians take pride and show morphological innovation in their use of diminutives such as ‘servo’ for service station and the more taboo word formations such as ‘shit-faced’ for drunk. Dave Hughes demonstrated this bold sense of humour in last year’s Melbourne Comedy Festival when he employed the innovative expletive ‘whoop-de-fucking-do’. Our fondness for such colloquial usage transcends our counterparts in British and American English, which demonstrates the Australian identity and how easy-going and laid-back they are in the way they see humour from irreverent language.  One only has to look at the plethora of idioms used in Australian English to sense our colloquial and humorous personalities. At a recent funeral I attended, the idiomatic expression “even though he’s carked it, he’s still here with us,” was used, showing that even in the most formal and sincere of contexts this characteristic of Australian English is present and playful colloquial language is therefore  an innate characteristic of our identity.
Title: Re: Essay help
Post by: dannynips on August 10, 2014, 06:03:24 pm
And if you have read it could you also try to predict roughly what score you think it is deserving of out of 15. Thanks!
Title: Re: Essay help
Post by: aqple on August 10, 2014, 09:09:51 pm
Thanks very much for your feedback! I have gone down that line with the exception of ethonolects.

A few quick qns:

1. Does Aus English refer to standard aboriginal and ethnolects?
2. Does stimulus material B) when talking about accents is that referring to broad general cultivated or is it meaning australian , aboriginal ethonlects ? Or both?

Not a problem :)
Australian English includes all varieties of it.
The stimulus material B is referring to all accents of Australia, so broad, cultivated, ethnic accents, etc.

Australian English is a major variety of English used across Australia, containing many distinct linguistic and phonological because you have to make reference to the way AE 'sounds' features making it look and sound unique and different different and unique have the same meaning to other Englishes. It serves as a fundamental token of the Australian national identity and is forever adapting to reflect this ever-changing Australian identity try not to repeat phrases in the same sentence, instead, replace with 'notion'. The Australian accent is arguably our most salient feature which has undergone great change and is an important bearer of history in regards to our identity. Australia’s use of slang and taboo language contribute to manifesting the national identity, however in the modern age, America’s dominance in the entertainment industry has had a large influence on Australian English. Language use in Australia has adapted and currently is indubitably an important medium to express the modern Australian identity. Good intro. You have made clear links to the notion of identity.

The Australian English venacular is reflective of reflects the history of the nation and the values that are instilled in Australians. I would make this topic sentence less broad because this paragraph is not simply about AE but the lexical and phonological aspects of it. The abstract noun ‘mateship’ or the common noun ‘larrikin’ are examples of distinctly Australian lexis which reflect the self-perception of the Australian identity as they value comradery (mateship) and actually endorse boisterousness and cheekiness within a good hearted person (the modern idea of a larrikin). Instead of adopting the rhotic emphasis on /r/ that Americans are characterised by, Australians have continued to pronounce words like butter as /bʌtə/ showing the Australian perception of being laid back and easy going This is known as the phonological process of 'flapping'.  The broad Australian accent is internationally recognised as being iconically Australian, despite it only being spoken by the minority today. The accent veered up the continuum towards the more prestigious cultivated accent late 19th century as an inflow of British immigrants arrived and the Received Pronunciation became prominent. Then During the First World War to , in order to distinguish Australians from the British, the accent moved away from cultivated towards broad again which played a significant part in developing the Australian identity. The general accent is the middle ground and is the most popular accent spoken nowadays in Australia by roughly 80 per cent of the population. This accent is our “bearer of history” you should make reference to who said this and maintains our identity by still sounding distinctly Australian but avoids the negative stigma often associated with the broad accent. There needs to be more link to the essay question here. You could discuss how there has been a shift away from the broad and cultivated accent with the majority of Australians speaking with a general accent, yet the accent is still undeniably Australian. How is this the case and what features gives us our identity?

A widely recognised feature of Australian English is its informality and colloquial creativity topic sentence unclear, you need to refer back to the identity aspect of the essay question. Australians take pride and show morphological innovation in their use of diminutives such as ‘servo’ for service station and the more taboo word formations such as ‘shit-faced’ for drunk. Dave Hughes demonstrated this bold sense of humour in last year’s Melbourne Comedy Festival when he employed the innovative expletive ‘whoop-de-fucking-do’. Our fondness for such colloquial usage transcends our counterparts in British and American English, which demonstrates the Australian identity and how easy-going and laid-back they are in the way they see humour from irreverent language.  One only has to look at the plethora of idioms used in Australian English to sense our colloquial and humorous personalities. At a recent funeral I attended, the idiomatic expression “even though he’s carked it, he’s still here with us,” was used, showing that even in the most formal and sincere of contexts this characteristic of Australian English is present and playful colloquial language is therefore  an innate characteristic of our identity. Good examples here. I'm not sure about giving a personal anecdote though, maybe you could look at the way politicians use colloquial language in speeches.

Hope this is helpful :) you're on the right track. As I stated, there needs to be stronger links to the essay question. So for every point you make, you have to consistently link it back to the how that certain lexical or phonological feature reflects our identity as a nation. From this alone, I'd predict around 10/15 but it's probably safer to ask your teacher because to be honest I don't really know :P
Title: Re: Essay help
Post by: dannynips on August 10, 2014, 09:29:23 pm


. From this alone, I'd predict around 10/15 but it's probably safer to ask your teacher because to be honest I don't really know :P

Thanks I'll go through it all in a minute but I was wondering in your first point about saying linguistic and phonological features.... Does linguistics cover phonology ?
Title: Re: Essay help
Post by: aqple on August 10, 2014, 09:52:46 pm
Thanks I'll go through it all in a minute but I was wondering in your first point about saying linguistic and phonological features.... Does linguistics cover phonology ?

Oops I must have read that wrong. Yes linguistics does cover phonology, my bad!
Title: Re: Essay help
Post by: dannynips on August 10, 2014, 10:05:17 pm

Oops I must have read that wrong. Yes linguistics does cover phonology, my bad!

No worries. Thanks a heap for all your help! I will upload my edited and full essay shortly and if you could go through it again for me I would be so grateful!!

Really appreciate your help and feedback
Title: Re: Essay help
Post by: dannynips on August 11, 2014, 12:15:19 am
okay just finished writing it so any more feedback would be great...

i wondered if it was necessary to talk about ethnolects in this essay - maybe i should have considering it is easy to talk about stimulus b) and also the Australian egalitarian identity.. oh well what do you think?

and in regards to using 'I' and that personal experience i could replace it with an event in parliament such as bill shorten being called 'electricity bill' a pun - but i prefer the funeral one.. maybe its a bit risky but if you look in the English language 2013 english language examiners report on page 9 you will see it was done acceptably i think.

in regards to the phonological flapping vs rhotic /r/ im a little confused becuase wikipedia states that that particular use of the word butter is the non rhotic r (if im on the page discussing the rhotic r) but then if i look at flapping it also states it there. (is it both)
i think ill just leave it how i had it anyway.

in regards to more linking to the orignial question in my first paragraph i wasnt sure exactly what more to say because it is already quite a long paragraph also

im especially keen on feedback for my last paragraph and conclusion now obviously...

below is my full essay:

What does Australian English look and sound like today, and how does it reflect our identity as a nation?

Australian English is a major variety of English used across Australia, containing many distinct linguistic features making it look and sound unique to other Englishes. It serves as a fundamental token of the Australian national identity and is forever adapting to reflect this ever-changing notion. The Australian accent is arguably our most salient feature which has undergone great change and is an important bearer of history in regards to our identity. Australia’s use of slang and taboo language contribute to manifesting the national identity, however in the modern age, America’s dominance in the entertainment industry has had a large influence on Australian English. Language use in Australia has adapted and currently is indubitably an important medium to express the modern Australian identity.

The Australian English vernacular reflects the history of the nation and the values that are instilled in Australians. The abstract noun ‘mateship’ or the common noun ‘larrikin’ are examples of distinctly Australian lexis which reflect the self-perception of the Australian identity as they value comradery (mateship) and actually endorse boisterousness and cheekiness within a good hearted person (the modern idea of a larrikin). Instead of adopting the rhotic emphasis on /r/ that Americans are characterised by, Australians have continued to pronounce words like butter as /bʌtə/ showing the Australian perception of being laid back and easy going and unwilling to conform to American pronunciation.  The broad Australian accent is internationally recognised as being iconically Australian, despite it only being spoken by the minority today. The accent veered up the continuum towards the more prestigious cultivated accent late 19th century as an inflow of British immigrants arrived and the Received Pronunciation became prominent. Then during the First World War, in order to distinguish Australians from the British the accent moved away from cultivated towards broad again which played a significant part in developing the Australian identity. The general accent is the middle ground and is the most popular accent spoken nowadays in Australia by roughly 80 per cent of the population. This accent is as Bruce Moore describes it, our “bearer of history” and maintains our identity by still sounding undeniably Australian but avoids the negative stigma often associated with the broad accent.

An underlying aspect of Australian English is the inventive and spontaneous use of colloquial language particularly in regards to swearing allowing us to invoke humour and reflect our values of informality and mateship. Australians take pride and show morphological innovation in their use of diminutives such as ‘servo’ for service station and the more taboo word formations such as ‘shit-faced’ for drunk. Dave Hughes demonstrated this bold sense of humour in last year’s Melbourne Comedy Festival when he employed the innovative expletive ‘whoop-de-fucking-do’. Our fondness for such colloquial usage transcends our counterparts in British and American English, which demonstrates the Australian identity and how easy-going and laid-back we are in the way we see humour from irreverent language.  One only has to look at the plethora of idioms used in Australian English to sense our colloquial and humorous personalities. At a recent funeral I attended, the idiomatic expression “even though he’s carked it, he’s still here with us,” was used, showing that even in the most formal and sincere of contexts this characteristic of Australian English is present and playful colloquial language is therefore  an innate characteristic of our identity.

International influences such as the juggernaut of American culture are affecting modern Australian English and modifying the national identity, in particular with younger generations. America’s dominance and omnipresence in the entertainment industry has led to various Americanisms entering the Australian vernacular. Morphological changes include the spelling of inflections from –ise to –ize in words such as ‘realise’ and ‘authorise’. A powerful example of the extent of their influence is the spelling of a major Australian political party, the ‘Labor Party’ who opted to change the spelling of their party name from the current and at the time Australian spelling of ‘Labour’ to ‘Labor’. Many prescriptive commentators condemn the use of such Americanisms but Australians have a propensity to using Americanisms where they see fit as stated by Pam Peters, a professor of linguistics at Macquarie University when she said “people see them as invasions but Australians have imported them, adopted them and adapted them. It’s not exactly colonialism.” Lexical borrowings such as the concrete nouns ‘dude’ and ‘buddy’ are now as commonplace in the Australian vernacular as the iconic Australian noun ‘mate’. The American term ‘ketchup’ frequently replaces ‘sauce’ and has contributed to the demise of the Australian rhyming slang term ‘dead horse’. These Americanisms are often adopted by younger generations to distinguish themselves from older generations. They demonstrate the nature of language change in Australia and display that the national identity is constantly evolving and reflecting these changes to become more global now than ever.

Australian English contains its own distinct look and sound. Its unique look regarding lexis, taboo language, idioms and Americanisms reflect the relaxed, humorous and adaptive nature of the Australian identity. The iconic sound of the Australian accent holds the essence of Australian history and is pivotal in reflecting the true Australian national identity.
Title: mark my essay
Post by: dannynips on August 11, 2014, 12:17:44 am
please if you want to read my essay any thoughts on a possible mark out of 15 would be appreciated:

What does Australian English look and sound like today, and how does it reflect our identity as a nation?
(Stimulus should be attached)


Australian English is a major variety of English used across Australia, containing many distinct linguistic features making it look and sound unique to other Englishes. It serves as a fundamental token of the Australian national identity and is forever adapting to reflect this ever-changing notion. The Australian accent is arguably our most salient feature which has undergone great change and is an important bearer of history in regards to our identity. Australia’s use of slang and taboo language contribute to manifesting the national identity, however in the modern age, America’s dominance in the entertainment industry has had a large influence on Australian English. Language use in Australia has adapted and currently is indubitably an important medium to express the modern Australian identity.

The Australian English vernacular reflects the history of the nation and the values that are instilled in Australians. The abstract noun ‘mateship’ or the common noun ‘larrikin’ are examples of distinctly Australian lexis which reflect the self-perception of the Australian identity as they value comradery (mateship) and actually endorse boisterousness and cheekiness within a good hearted person (the modern idea of a larrikin). Instead of adopting the rhotic emphasis on /r/ that Americans are characterised by, Australians have continued to pronounce words like butter as /bʌtə/ showing the Australian perception of being laid back and easy going and unwilling to conform to American pronunciation.  The broad Australian accent is internationally recognised as being iconically Australian, despite it only being spoken by the minority today. The accent veered up the continuum towards the more prestigious cultivated accent late 19th century as an inflow of British immigrants arrived and the Received Pronunciation became prominent. Then during the First World War, in order to distinguish Australians from the British the accent moved away from cultivated towards broad again which played a significant part in developing the Australian identity. The general accent is the middle ground and is the most popular accent spoken nowadays in Australia by roughly 80 per cent of the population. This accent is as Bruce Moore describes it, our “bearer of history” and maintains our identity by still sounding undeniably Australian but avoids the negative stigma often associated with the broad accent.

An underlying aspect of Australian English is the inventive and spontaneous use of colloquial language particularly in regards to swearing allowing us to invoke humour and reflect our values of informality and mateship. Australians take pride and show morphological innovation in their use of diminutives such as ‘servo’ for service station and the more taboo word formations such as ‘shit-faced’ for drunk. Dave Hughes demonstrated this bold sense of humour in last year’s Melbourne Comedy Festival when he employed the innovative expletive ‘whoop-de-fucking-do’. Our fondness for such colloquial usage transcends our counterparts in British and American English, which demonstrates the Australian identity and how easy-going and laid-back we are in the way we see humour from irreverent language.  One only has to look at the plethora of idioms used in Australian English to sense our colloquial and humorous personalities. At a recent funeral I attended, the idiomatic expression “even though he’s carked it, he’s still here with us,” was used, showing that even in the most formal and sincere of contexts this characteristic of Australian English is present and playful colloquial language is therefore  an innate characteristic of our identity.

International influences such as the juggernaut of American culture are affecting modern Australian English and modifying the national identity, in particular with younger generations. America’s dominance and omnipresence in the entertainment industry has led to various Americanisms entering the Australian vernacular. Morphological changes include the spelling of inflections from –ise to –ize in words such as ‘realise’ and ‘authorise’. A powerful example of the extent of their influence is the spelling of a major Australian political party, the ‘Labor Party’ who opted to change the spelling of their party name from the current and at the time Australian spelling of ‘Labour’ to ‘Labor’. Many prescriptive commentators condemn the use of such Americanisms but Australians have a propensity to using Americanisms where they see fit as stated by Pam Peters, a professor of linguistics at Macquarie University when she said “people see them as invasions but Australians have imported them, adopted them and adapted them. It’s not exactly colonialism.” Lexical borrowings such as the concrete nouns ‘dude’ and ‘buddy’ are now as commonplace in the Australian vernacular as the iconic Australian noun ‘mate’. The American term ‘ketchup’ frequently replaces ‘sauce’ and has contributed to the demise of the Australian rhyming slang term ‘dead horse’. These Americanisms are often adopted by younger generations to distinguish themselves from older generations. They demonstrate the nature of language change in Australia and display that the national identity is constantly evolving and reflecting these changes to become more global now than ever.

Australian English contains its own distinct look and sound. Its unique look regarding lexis, taboo language, idioms and Americanisms reflect the relaxed, humorous and adaptive nature of the Australian identity. The iconic sound of the Australian accent holds the essence of Australian history and is pivotal in reflecting the true Australian national identity.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: dannynips on August 11, 2014, 12:23:44 am
Please help critique and mark my essay. any feedback will be appreciated and be as honest and harsh as you want. Please provide what you think it would be marked out of 15 also. Thanks :)

Spoiler

What does Australian English look and sound like today, and how does it reflect our identity as nation?

Australian English is a major variety of English used across Australia, containing many distinct linguistic features making it look and sound unique to other Englishes. It serves as a fundamental token of the Australian national identity and is forever adapting to reflect this ever-changing notion. The Australian accent is arguably our most salient feature which has undergone great change and is an important bearer of history in regards to our identity. Australia’s use of slang and taboo language contribute to manifesting the national identity, however in the modern age, America’s dominance in the entertainment industry has had a large influence on Australian English. Language use in Australia has adapted and currently is indubitably an important medium to express the modern Australian identity.

The Australian English vernacular reflects the history of the nation and the values that are instilled in Australians. The abstract noun ‘mateship’ or the common noun ‘larrikin’ are examples of distinctly Australian lexis which reflect the self-perception of the Australian identity as they value comradery (mateship) and actually endorse boisterousness and cheekiness within a good hearted person (the modern idea of a larrikin). Instead of adopting the rhotic emphasis on /r/ that Americans are characterised by, Australians have continued to pronounce words like butter as /bʌtə/ showing the Australian perception of being laid back and easy going and unwilling to conform to American pronunciation.  The broad Australian accent is internationally recognised as being iconically Australian, despite it only being spoken by the minority today. The accent veered up the continuum towards the more prestigious cultivated accent late 19th century as an inflow of British immigrants arrived and the Received Pronunciation became prominent. Then during the First World War, in order to distinguish Australians from the British the accent moved away from cultivated towards broad again which played a significant part in developing the Australian identity. The general accent is the middle ground and is the most popular accent spoken nowadays in Australia by roughly 80 per cent of the population. This accent is as Bruce Moore describes it, our “bearer of history” and maintains our identity by still sounding undeniably Australian but avoids the negative stigma often associated with the broad accent.

An underlying aspect of Australian English is the inventive and spontaneous use of colloquial language particularly in regards to swearing allowing us to invoke humour and reflect our values of informality and mateship. Australians take pride and show morphological innovation in their use of diminutives such as ‘servo’ for service station and the more taboo word formations such as ‘shit-faced’ for drunk. Dave Hughes demonstrated this bold sense of humour in last year’s Melbourne Comedy Festival when he employed the innovative expletive ‘whoop-de-fucking-do’. Our fondness for such colloquial usage transcends our counterparts in British and American English, which demonstrates the Australian identity and how easy-going and laid-back we are in the way we see humour from irreverent language.  One only has to look at the plethora of idioms used in Australian English to sense our colloquial and humorous personalities. At a recent funeral I attended, the idiomatic expression “even though he’s carked it, he’s still here with us,” was used, showing that even in the most formal and sincere of contexts this characteristic of Australian English is present and playful colloquial language is therefore  an innate characteristic of our identity.

International influences such as the juggernaut of American culture are affecting modern Australian English and modifying the national identity, in particular with younger generations. America’s dominance and omnipresence in the entertainment industry has led to various Americanisms entering the Australian vernacular. Morphological changes include the spelling of inflections from –ise to –ize in words such as ‘realise’ and ‘authorise’. A powerful example of the extent of their influence is the spelling of a major Australian political party, the ‘Labor Party’ who opted to change the spelling of their party name from the current and at the time Australian spelling of ‘Labour’ to ‘Labor’. Many prescriptive commentators condemn the use of such Americanisms but Australians have a propensity to using Americanisms where they see fit as stated by Pam Peters, a professor of linguistics at Macquarie University when she said “people see them as invasions but Australians have imported them, adopted them and adapted them. It’s not exactly colonialism.” Lexical borrowings such as the concrete nouns ‘dude’ and ‘buddy’ are now as commonplace in the Australian vernacular as the iconic Australian noun ‘mate’. The American term ‘ketchup’ frequently replaces ‘sauce’ and has contributed to the demise of the Australian rhyming slang term ‘dead horse’. These Americanisms are often adopted by younger generations to distinguish themselves from older generations. They demonstrate the nature of language change in Australia and display that the national identity is constantly evolving and reflecting these changes to become more global now than ever.

Australian English contains its own distinct look and sound. Its unique look regarding lexis, taboo language, idioms and Americanisms reflect the relaxed, humorous and adaptive nature of the Australian identity. The iconic sound of the Australian accent holds the essence of Australian history and is pivotal in reflecting the true Australian national identity.
Title: Re: Essay help
Post by: dannynips on August 11, 2014, 12:24:57 am
Oops I must have read that wrong. Yes linguistics does cover phonology, my bad!

just quoting you here to make user you get notified :)
Title: Re: mark my essay
Post by: AngelWings on August 11, 2014, 03:02:16 pm
Unfortunately I don't have much time up my sleeve now, but upon first glance, it doesn't look like you used the stimulus material much. I do like some of your examples, though.
Title: Re: mark my essay
Post by: dannynips on August 11, 2014, 03:04:30 pm

Unfortunately I don't have much time up my sleeve now, but upon first glance, it doesn't look like you used the stimulus material much. I do like some of your examples, though.

Thanks for your feedback. I only used "bearer of history" that's all.

I know you must refer to the stimulus but to score highly is it a requirement to really incorporate the stimulus into your essay?
Title: Re: mark my essay
Post by: psyxwar on August 11, 2014, 10:40:25 pm
please if you want to read my essay any thoughts on a possible mark out of 15 would be appreciated:

What does Australian English look and sound like today, and how does it reflect our identity as a nation?
(Stimulus should be attached)


Australian English is a major variety of English used across Australia, containing many distinct linguistic features making it look and sound unique to other Englishes. It serves as a fundamental token of the Australian national identity and is forever adapting to reflect this ever-changing notion. The Australian accent is arguably our most salient feature which has undergone great change and is an important bearer of history in regards to our identity. Australia’s use of slang and taboo language contribute to manifesting the national identity, however in the modern age, America’s dominance in the entertainment industry has had a large influence on Australian English. Language use in Australia has adapted and currently is indubitably an important medium to express the modern Australian identity.

The Australian English vernacular reflects the history of the nation and the values that are instilled in Australians. The abstract noun ‘mateship’ or the common noun ‘larrikin’ are examples of distinctly Australian lexis which reflect the self-perception of the Australian identity as they value comradery (mateship) and actually endorse boisterousness and cheekiness within a good hearted person (the modern idea of a larrikin).You can talk about this a lot more. How is the notion of 'mateship' ingrained in Australian culture? What is the significance of the vocative 'mate' in Aus society? Instead of adopting the rhotic emphasis on /r/ that Americans are characterised by, Australians have continued to pronounce words like butter as /bʌtə/showing the Australian perception of being laid back and easy going and unwilling to conform to American pronunciation.  Okay really not convinced by this 'unwillingness to conform to American pronunciation', you're making non-rhoticity sound like a conscious divergence away from American pronounciation when infact it's just due to British influences The broad Australian accent is internationally recognised as being iconically Australian, despite it only being spoken by the minority today. The accent veered up the continuum towards the more prestigious cultivated accent late 19th century as an inflow of British immigrants arrived and the Received Pronunciation became prominent. Then during the First World War, in order to distinguish Australians from the British the accent moved away from cultivated towards broad again which played a significant part in developing the Australian identity. The general accent is the middle ground and is the most popular accent spoken nowadays in Australia by roughly 80 per cent of the population. This accent is as Bruce Moore describes it, our “bearer of history” and maintains our identity by still sounding undeniably Australian but avoids the negative stigma often associated with the broad accent.

An underlying aspect of Australian English is the inventive and spontaneous use of colloquial language particularly in regards to swearing allowing us to invoke humour and reflect our values of informality and mateship. Australians take pride and show morphological innovation in their use of diminutives such as ‘servo’ for service station and the more taboo word formations such as ‘shit-faced’ for drunk. Dave Hughes demonstrated this bold sense of humour in last year’s Melbourne Comedy Festival when he employed the innovative expletive ‘whoop-de-fucking-do’. Our fondness for such colloquial usage transcends our counterparts in British and American English, which demonstrates the Australian identity and how easy-going and laid-back we are in the way we see humour from irreverent language.  One only has to look at the plethora of idioms used in Australian English to sense our colloquial and humorous personalities. At a recent funeral I attended Not a fan of anecdotes personally, nor do I really endorse the first person in essays, but I'm not sure how VCAA feels about this; I'd steer clear of 'I' though, the idiomatic expression “even though he’s carked it, he’s still here with us,” was used, showing that even in the most formal and sincere of contexts this characteristic of Australian English is present and playful colloquial language is therefore  an innate characteristic of our identity.

International influences such as the juggernaut of American culture are affecting modern Australian English and modifying the national identity, in particular with younger generations. America’s dominance and omnipresence in the entertainment industry has led to various Americanisms entering the Australian vernacular. Morphological changes include the spelling of inflections from –ise to –ize in words such as ‘realise’ and ‘authorise’. A powerful example of the extent of their influence is the spelling of a major Australian political party, the ‘Labor Party’ who opted to change the spelling of their party name from the current and at the time Australian spelling of ‘Labour’ to ‘Labor’. Many prescriptive commentators condemn the use of such Americanisms but Australians have a propensity to using Americanisms where they see fit as stated by Pam Peters, a professor of linguistics at Macquarie University when she said “people see them as invasions but Australians have imported them, adopted them and adapted them. It’s not exactly colonialism.” Lexical borrowings such as the concrete nouns ‘dude’ and ‘buddy’ are now as commonplace in the Australian vernacular as the iconic Australian noun ‘mate’. The American term ‘ketchup’ frequently replaces ‘sauce’ and has contributed to the demise of the Australian rhyming slang term ‘dead horse’. Has it? Seems a bit farfetched but mehThese Americanisms are often adopted by younger generations to distinguish themselves from older generations. They demonstrate the nature of language change in Australia and display that the national identity is constantly evolving and reflecting these changes to become more global now than ever. Probably could've elaborated and talked about globalisation and the sociopolitical hegemony of the US in more detail here

Australian English contains its own distinct look and sound. Its unique look regarding lexis, taboo language, idioms and Americanisms reflect the relaxed, humorous and adaptive nature of the Australian identity. The iconic sound of the Australian accent holds the essence of Australian history and is pivotal in reflecting the true Australian national identity.
Pretty good essay, but I think you might want to use some more contemporary examples.
Title: Re: mark my essay
Post by: dannynips on August 11, 2014, 10:43:20 pm
Thanks for your feedback. I actually got rid of the USA paragraph and used ethnolects instead think it fits better

Thanks so much again for your feedback. I'm just wondering out of 15 what you would rate this?
Title: Re: mark my essay
Post by: dannynips on August 11, 2014, 10:52:59 pm

Pretty good essay, but I think you might want to use some more contemporary examples.

Just quoting you so I get notified.

Roughly what do you think this deserves out of 15?
Title: Re: mark my essay
Post by: psyxwar on August 11, 2014, 11:00:50 pm
Just quoting you so I get notified.

Roughly what do you think this deserves out of 15?
not sure lol, I'm doing EL this year too so yeah
Title: Re: Essay help
Post by: aqple on August 12, 2014, 05:15:10 pm
-Overall, good work. You've addressed both written and spoken texts, which is great.

-Ethnolects would be a good paragraph to include because a main aspect of Australia is its multiculturalism.

-The word ‘butter’ is an example of both non-rhotic speech and flapping, the flapping part is the ‘tt’ and the non-rhotic is the ‘r’ at the end. What you’ve had in your essay is fine.

 -Para 1: When I say there needs to be more linking to the essay question, I mean for the points you make, what does it show about our national identity? For example, you mention that the general accent is the most popular accent, why? You need to say for example that the rise in the middle class and globalisation has influenced a merging of the three distinctive Australian accents, therefore the general accent dominates. This paragraph could be split into two because the first section about our values does not necessarily connect well with the accent section.

-Para 2: Good examples. A more recent example you could use is the PTV on-the-spot fines ad which is relatively formal, but uses the Australian colloquial term 'freeloaders' to appeal to the wider public.

-Para 3: What exactly does our tendency to adopt Americanisms reveal about our identity and attitude? Does this mean we do not appreciate our own culture? You do mention that our national identity is evolving but you do not mention what the identity is in regards to Americanisms.

-Conclusion: Short and sweet and rounds up your essay well.

Hope this was helpful  :)
Title: Re: Essay help
Post by: dannynips on August 13, 2014, 10:24:30 pm

-Overall, good work. You've addressed both written and spoken texts, which is great.

-Ethnolects would be a good paragraph to include because a main aspect of Australia is its multiculturalism.

-The word ‘butter’ is an example of both non-rhotic speech and flapping, the flapping part is the ‘tt’ and the non-rhotic is the ‘r’ at the end. What you’ve had in your essay is fine.

 -Para 1: When I say there needs to be more linking to the essay question, I mean for the points you make, what does it show about our national identity? For example, you mention that the general accent is the most popular accent, why? You need to say for example that the rise in the middle class and globalisation has influenced a merging of the three distinctive Australian accents, therefore the general accent dominates. This paragraph could be split into two because the first section about our values does not necessarily connect well with the accent section.

-Para 2: Good examples. A more recent example you could use is the PTV on-the-spot fines ad which is relatively formal, but uses the Australian colloquial term 'freeloaders' to appeal to the wider public.

-Para 3: What exactly does our tendency to adopt Americanisms reveal about our identity and attitude? Does this mean we do not appreciate our own culture? You do mention that our national identity is evolving but you do not mention what the identity is in regards to Americanisms.

-Conclusion: Short and sweet and rounds up your essay well.

Hope this was helpful  :)


This was VERY HELPFUL. Thanks so much for your feedback. Very very helpful!
Title: Re: Essay help
Post by: dannynips on August 13, 2014, 10:38:32 pm


Also, do you have other examples for essay like you PTV one? If love to hear them like Eddie mguires ape comments etc
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Bluegirl on August 20, 2014, 06:00:31 pm
Would anyone be able to give me feedback on my essay? It's basically my first proper one so any feedback would be  much appreciated.

Here's the essay topic
Quote
‘Your use of language sends out lots of little messages, not just about your level of education and where you come from, but about how youwould like to be perceived.’
Discuss with reference to at least two subsystems of language.
 Use the article “Add an accent and then stir” as well as the video clips from Alibrandi and My Fair Lady to respond to this topic.

Language is an expression of identity. It can reveal aspects of your age, background, socioeconomic status, identity, education and aspects of your personality. It can demonstrate how you want to be perceived by others. Swearing, taboo, racial slurs, discriminatory language, articulate speech, arrogance and different uses of language can prompt people to treat you in a certain way. Thus, intentionally and unintentionally, language use and accents can make people perceive you in a certain way; good and bad. A lot of language use and its perceptions are reliant on the context in which it is used, as well as the interlocutors involved. As Clare Kramsch says, “there is a natural connection between language and identity.”

In terms of lexicology, language choice can reveal a lot about a person’s identity and how they want to be perceived. The use of articulate formal language can convey a high level of education, articulation, knowledge, an upper class and intelligence. An example of this is when Josie Alibrandi from Looking for Alibrandi uses formal speech to express herself at the “Have a Say Day”. Jacob, however, uses humour and slang to engage the audience using informal speech. Despite being powerfully perceived by the audience (and not the judges), it identifies him as a public-school student, lower-class and more inferior than Josie. However, both are powerful in different ways and appeal to different groups in the audiences. In this clip, Josie has overt power and prestige due to using Standard English while Jacob has covert prestige, appealing to the minority group. Brendan Black says “When communicating with friends and family, vernacular language is more appropriate.” This is demonstrated through Jacob’s speech which was aimed at the students and his friends in the audience, thus being more powerful to them than the panel of judges.
Benjamin Lee Whorf said "language shapes the way we think, and determines what we think about". This perfectly demonstrates the way that language use can change what people think about you and how they perceive you. Other lexemes that can make people perceive you as lower class and inferior include using racial slurs, discriminatory language, expletives and politically incorrect language that damages others’ face. If an individual uses expletives, the person may want to be perceived as cool or angry; whether this is intentional or not.

Relating to phonetics and phonology, accents are a major expression of who you are. A broad accent, for example, may demonstrate that a person is from a lower-class, uneducated, ‘bogan-like’ and inferior. Henry Higgins from My Fair Lady says "The moment an Englishman speaks, it absolutely classifies him.” Eliza Doolittle’s accent, for example, gives the perception that she is lower-class, uneducated and shunned by many people who come across her. However, despite the way she is treated and how she speaks, she doesn't want to be treated as inferior as and less important than those of the upper class who have Received Pronunciation varieties. This conveys that an accent can indicate where a person is from due to regional variations in dialects and accents. It also argues with the statement that your language use demonstrates to people the way you want to be perceived. Some people’s language is unintentional and out of habit.

Another example of accent expressing who you are is the high-rising intonation characteristic of Australian speech; it identifies you as Australian. As Bill Hunter said, “Very few women use broad Australian accents, probably because it is associated with Australian masculinity.” This infers that women don’t use a broad accent because they don’t want to be perceived as masculine and unfeminine. Many aspects of gender variation occur due to how they want to be perceived. Women pay more compliments, ask more questions, make more effort to include others in the conversation and are more likely to use formal language. This shows that women tend to want to be perceived as more polite, respectful and generous than men due to stereotypes.

When individuals use certain lexemes, messages are sent out. They can be direct, indirect, using euphemisms and dysphemism, irony, metaphor, simile and other stylistic devices. Connotations are conveyed and they can be positive and negative. Each has different effects. These messages do convey the person you are through your attitudes, morals, beliefs, personality and the way you treat people and the way you want to be perceived. For example, if someone continually uses metaphors or sarcasm, they may want to be perceived as humorous, funny and down to earth.

Language expresses you, identifies you, conveys messages about you and makes you an individual. Depending on the context, these messages can be intentional, such as to build rapport, or accidental such as in a moment of anger and expletives are used. However, despite the various uses of language, it may not deliberately express the way you want to be perceived. Laurie Bauer: says, “What is called beauty in a language is more accurately seen as the prestige of its speakers.” This prestige differs between every individual due to their own language and life.



Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: aqple on August 20, 2014, 06:45:28 pm
Would anyone be able to give me feedback on my essay? It's basically my first proper one so any feedback would be  much appreciated.

Here's the essay topic
Language is an expression of identity. It can reveal aspects of your age, background, socioeconomic status, identity, education and aspects of your personality. It can demonstrate how you want to be perceived by others. Swearing, taboo, racial slurs, discriminatory language, articulate speech, arrogance Too much listing, definitely avoid it. Examiners don't like it, it's lazy and different uses of language can prompt people to treat you Try to use 'speaker', or 'one' instead of a personal pronoun in a certain way. Thus, intentionally and unintentionally, language use and accents can make people perceive you in a certain way; good and bad Incorrect usage of the semi colon. A lot of language use I would argue ALL language use and its perceptions are reliant on the context in which it is used, as well as the interlocutors involved. As Clare Kramsch says, “there is a natural connection between language and identity.” This is not a complete sentence

In terms of lexicology, language Lexical choice can reveal a lot about a person’s identity and how they want to be perceived. The use of articulate formal language can convey a high level of education, articulation You already mention that it is articulate, knowledge, an upper class and intelligence. Again, try to avoid extensive listing in essays An example of this is when Josie Alibrandi from Looking for Alibrandi uses formal speech to express herself Too vague, the assessor would not understand at the “Have a Say Day”. Jacob, however on the other hand, uses humour and slang to engage the audience using informal speech Reword this, you have used 'use' twice. Despite being powerfully perceived ??? by the audience (and not the judges), it identifies him as a public-school student, lower-class and more inferior than Josie. However, both are powerful in different ways and appeal to different groups in the audiences. In this clip, Josie has overt power and prestige due to using Standard English while Jacob has covert prestige, appealing to the minority group. Brendan Black says “When communicating with friends and family, vernacular language is more appropriate.” Not a complete sentence, you have to link the quote with your own commentary This is demonstrated through Jacob’s speech which was aimed at the students and his friends in the audience, thus being more powerful Try 'appealing' or 'relatable' to them than the panel of judges.
Benjamin Lee Whorf said "language shapes the way we think, and determines what we think about" Again, not a complete sentence!!! This perfectly demonstrates the way that language use can change what people think about you and how they perceive you Avoid tautology, think about you and perceive you pretty much mean the same thing. Other lexemes that can make people perceive you as lower class and inferior include using racial slurs, discriminatory language, expletives and politically incorrect language that damages others’ face Ahhhhh! Please avoid listing like this! Haha. If an individual uses expletives, the person may want to be perceived as cool or angry; whether this is intentional or not Don't use the semi colon.

Relating to phonetics and phonology, accents are a major expression of who you are. A broad accent, for example, may demonstrate that a person is from a lower-class, uneducated, ‘bogan-like’ and inferior. Henry Higgins from My Fair Lady says "The moment an Englishman speaks, it absolutely classifies him.” Incomplete sentence Eliza Doolittle’s accent, for example, gives the perception that she is lower-class, uneducated and shunned by many people who come across her. However, despite the way she is treated and how she speaks, she doesn't want to be treated as inferior as and less important than those of the upper class who have Received Pronunciation varieties. This conveys that an accent can indicate where a person is from due to regional variations in dialects and accents. You need to elaborate more here, why do accents mark one's identity? You could talk about the stereotypes that are associated with certain accents and how embedded they are among society It also argues with the statement that your language use demonstrates to people the way you want to be perceived. Some people’s language is unintentional and out of habit. Yes but what point are you trying to make? With every point you make, you must elaborate in order to strengthen your essay

Another example of accent expressing who you are is the high-rising intonation characteristic of Australian speech; it identifies you as Australian. As Bill Hunter said, “Very few women use broad Australian accents, probably because it is associated with Australian masculinity.” Great use of quotes but again, attach the quote with something like 'in other words...' or 'highlighting...' so it doesn't look like you've just shoved a quote in the middle of your essay This infers that women don’t use a broad accent because they don’t want to be perceived as masculine and unfeminine. Many aspects of gender variation occur due to how they want to be perceived. Women pay more compliments, ask more questions, make more effort to include others in the conversation and are more likely to use formal language. This shows that women tend to want to be perceived as more polite, respectful and generous than men due to stereotypes. You should elaborate on self identity, and social expectations

When individuals use certain lexemes, messages are sent out. They can be direct, indirect, using euphemisms and dysphemism, irony, metaphor, simile and other stylistic devices You probably get the point but don't list!!!. Connotations are conveyed and they can be positive and negative. Each has different effects Avoid these incomplete sentences in essays, you need to use Standard English. These messages do convey the person you are through your attitudes, morals, beliefs, personality and the way you treat people and the way you want to be perceived. For example, if someone continually uses metaphors or sarcasm, they may want to be perceived as humorous, funny and down to earth. Too general. Back up the points you make rather than just stating them

Language expresses you, identifies you, conveys messages about you and makes you an individual. Depending on the context, these messages can be intentional, such as to build rapport, or accidental such as in a moment of anger This was not in your essay, your conclusion should only sum up what you've written and expletives are used. However, despite the various uses of language, it may not deliberately express the way you want to be perceived. Laurie Bauer: says, “What is called beauty in a language is more accurately seen as the prestige of its speakers.” This prestige differs between every individual due to their own language and life.

Good start. Try to use contemporary real life examples in Australia. Do not list, it is considered lazy and it gets your essay nowhere. Avoid incomplete sentences - you've used a number of great quotes without elaborating on them, this looks like you've just randomly placed a quote in your essay. Hope this is helpful  :)
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Bluegirl on August 20, 2014, 07:01:07 pm
Good start. Try to use contemporary real life examples in Australia. Do not list, it is considered lazy and it gets your essay nowhere. Avoid incomplete sentences - you've used a number of great quotes without elaborating on them, this looks like you've just randomly placed a quote in your essay. Hope this is helpful  :)

Thankyou for the taking the time out to look at it! Very helpful advice :)

Instead of listing, what would I do instead to get my ideas across?

How do I collect relevant examples?
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: aqple on August 20, 2014, 07:29:58 pm
Thankyou for the taking the time out to look at it! Very helpful advice :)

Instead of listing, what would I do instead to get my ideas across?

How do I collect relevant examples?

Instead of listing, make a point and support it with an example and/or commentary. It's just that you list a range of things without having meaning to them. So, use examples and explain. Have a read of the high-scoring responses on the past examination reports to get a better idea.

Examples can be taken from anywhere! For accents, you could use well-known Australian people, so some footy player who has a Broad accent and Judy Davis or Quentin Bryce who have Cultivated accents and what this reflects about the person's identity (age, background). Have you seen any of Chris Lilley's mockumentaries? For example, Daniel from We Can Be Heroes has a Broad accent which can be attributed to coming from a rural area, Ja'mie King as a teenager uses the High Rising Terminal, Jonah Hill uses covert prestige, etc. So you can use anyone from television, films, media, etc, incorporating them in your essay will strengthen it. Why do politicians choose to use formal or informal language? Find examples, such as Chief of the Defence Force, Air Chief Marshal Binskin, using highly formal language to address a soldier who died last month in Afghanistan, but he used 'mate' to demonstrate his Australian identity. Good luck!
Title: Mark My ESSAY
Post by: joecantwell on August 25, 2014, 06:42:35 pm
Any Type of Feedback would be great

Australian English cannot be described as a truly homogenous language.Discuss in relation to cultural and linguistic diversity in contemporary Australia.

Australian English is not able to be described as one form of language.This is due to cultural and language diversity in contemoratory Australian which leads to language variation in Australian English.Migrant ethnolects allow for diversity and aboriginal English is of common use in the Australian vencular.As well as this American English and other international ethnolects are leading to conformity due to the nature and power they have over Australian English.

Migrant ethnolects are common in Australian English and give it diversity.Migrant ethnolects hold covert prestige due to it reflecting their linguistic and cultural identity as well as showing evidence of assimilation into English speaking society.The covert prestige they hold outlines them as a migrant ethnolect and creates identity that reflects there cultural ties.In the Greek migrant ethnolect there are various distinctive features such as the omissions of the auxiliary verb which separate the vernacular of the greeks language use which sculpts a distinct identity for them.The movie Wog Boy added ‘Ethnic diversity and richness to a society’(Prompt 1) due to the the use of migrant greek ethnolect used in a Australian English context.This increased the popularity of migrant ethnolects such as the greek ethnolect in Australian English which leads to more language variation in modern society.This variation of Australian English leads to it not being able to be described as one whole form of language due to the constant variation.The article by Inga Ting called ‘Talk of the Town’ discuss that in countries that Australia is extremely multicultural.In this article there was talk about the ‘shift to multiculturalism’ (Ting 2014) which was a turning point for the Australian English vernacular and cementing it as a multi culture language and non homogeneous.

Aboriginal Australian English is off common use in the Australian vernacular.The Ethnolect of aboriginal Australian English is used predominantly by the Australian Aboriginal uses is commonly used in a variety of context and creating another form of Australian language.The ‘Quit’ campaign is an example of the Aboriginal English being used in contemporary media.The Quit campaign uses aboriginal English throughout to reduce social distance with the audience which are aboriginal smokers.Examples of how aboriginal English is used to reduce social distance as well as enhancing mutual intelligibility include the slogan they used which is ‘smoking, no good aye’ (Australian Gov, Quit campaign 2013).There are also many borrowed expressions that are relevant in  Australian English which destroys the standard of Australian English which turns it into a multi linguistic language.Borrowed expressions are largely driven by need and include cultural terms, an example of a commonly used borrowed expression is boomerang.Culturally significant expressions such as these identifies individuals as Australian due to Australian being a diverse country and ‘we are the words we use’(Prompt 4).Aboriginal english is used commonly media means which leads it do being a form of Australian English which there are already are various forms.

American English and other international ethnolects are used in Australian language in a common bases and blends in with Australian English features.‘Australian English..Embraces all of these various dictational types’ (Macquarie university 2006) and this leads to conformity.Iggy Azalea was put under security by Ben Tarwick-Smith in a article he wrote about her using ‘linguistic theft’ (Smith 2014) to broaden her audience and grow her popularity to a greater extent.These uses of conformity of the powerful American English are common in modern society to enhance group member ship, such as Iggy Azalea did when using American Language in her music.This incentives to conform to American English means it will be a common feature in Australian English leading it to being non-Homogenous.Teen speck is common in Australian English and adds diversity to the more standard Australian English.Puberty Blues is a popularity Australian T.V show and teen speck is very common among the characters.In puberty blues there are frequent  use of colloquialisms which are common in teen speck such as ‘mole’(puberty blues 2013).The variety of Australian English as well as conforming to international dialects leads to varying forms of Australian English.

Australian English is a non-homogenous language due to the forms of language that exist in the Australian English language.With the cultural diversity that is added by migrant ethnolects as well as aboriginal English there are many forms of the langage.The use of teen speck leads to variety in Australian English as well as conforming to more powerful language such as American English leads to many forms of the language.

Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: joecantwell on August 25, 2014, 06:49:34 pm
Any Type of Feedback would be great And maybe even a mark out of 20 would be awesome

Australian English cannot be described as a truly homogenous language.Discuss in relation to cultural and linguistic diversity in contemporary Australia.

Australian English is not able to be described as one form of language.This is due to cultural and language diversity in contemoratory Australian which leads to language variation in Australian English.Migrant ethnolects allow for diversity and aboriginal English is of common use in the Australian vencular.As well as this American English and other international ethnolects are leading to conformity due to the nature and power they have over Australian English.

Migrant ethnolects are common in Australian English and give it diversity.Migrant ethnolects hold covert prestige due to it reflecting their linguistic and cultural identity as well as showing evidence of assimilation into English speaking society.The covert prestige they hold outlines them as a migrant ethnolect and creates identity that reflects there cultural ties.In the Greek migrant ethnolect there are various distinctive features such as the omissions of the auxiliary verb which separate the vernacular of the greeks language use which sculpts a distinct identity for them.The movie Wog Boy added ‘Ethnic diversity and richness to a society’(Prompt 1) due to the the use of migrant greek ethnolect used in a Australian English context.This increased the popularity of migrant ethnolects such as the greek ethnolect in Australian English which leads to more language variation in modern society.This variation of Australian English leads to it not being able to be described as one whole form of language due to the constant variation.The article by Inga Ting called ‘Talk of the Town’ discuss that in countries that Australia is extremely multicultural.In this article there was talk about the ‘shift to multiculturalism’ (Ting 2014) which was a turning point for the Australian English vernacular and cementing it as a multi culture language and non homogeneous.

Aboriginal Australian English is off common use in the Australian vernacular.The Ethnolect of aboriginal Australian English is used predominantly by the Australian Aboriginal uses is commonly used in a variety of context and creating another form of Australian language.The ‘Quit’ campaign is an example of the Aboriginal English being used in contemporary media.The Quit campaign uses aboriginal English throughout to reduce social distance with the audience which are aboriginal smokers.Examples of how aboriginal English is used to reduce social distance as well as enhancing mutual intelligibility include the slogan they used which is ‘smoking, no good aye’ (Australian Gov, Quit campaign 2013).There are also many borrowed expressions that are relevant in  Australian English which destroys the standard of Australian English which turns it into a multi linguistic language.Borrowed expressions are largely driven by need and include cultural terms, an example of a commonly used borrowed expression is boomerang.Culturally significant expressions such as these identifies individuals as Australian due to Australian being a diverse country and ‘we are the words we use’(Prompt 4).Aboriginal english is used commonly media means which leads it do being a form of Australian English which there are already are various forms.

American English and other international ethnolects are used in Australian language in a common bases and blends in with Australian English features.‘Australian English..Embraces all of these various dictational types’ (Macquarie university 2006) and this leads to conformity.Iggy Azalea was put under security by Ben Tarwick-Smith in a article he wrote about her using ‘linguistic theft’ (Smith 2014) to broaden her audience and grow her popularity to a greater extent.These uses of conformity of the powerful American English are common in modern society to enhance group member ship, such as Iggy Azalea did when using American Language in her music.This incentives to conform to American English means it will be a common feature in Australian English leading it to being non-Homogenous.Teen speck is common in Australian English and adds diversity to the more standard Australian English.Puberty Blues is a popularity Australian T.V show and teen speck is very common among the characters.In puberty blues there are frequent  use of colloquialisms which are common in teen speck such as ‘mole’(puberty blues 2013).The variety of Australian English as well as conforming to international dialects leads to varying forms of Australian English.

Australian English is a non-homogenous language due to the forms of language that exist in the Australian English language.With the cultural diversity that is added by migrant ethnolects as well as aboriginal English there are many forms of the langage.The use of teen speck leads to variety in Australian English as well as conforming to more powerful language such as American English leads to many forms of the language.
Title: Re: Mark My ESSAY
Post by: lolface on August 25, 2014, 08:39:10 pm
What year level are you in?
Title: Re: Mark My ESSAY
Post by: joecantwell on August 25, 2014, 10:28:10 pm
What year level are you in?

Year 12
Title: Re: Mark My ESSAY
Post by: lolface on August 26, 2014, 04:17:28 pm
oh ok then never mind.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: bubblybubbles on September 03, 2014, 06:57:13 pm
Any Type of Feedback would be great And maybe even a mark out of 20 would be awesome

Australian English cannot be described as a truly homogenous language.Discuss in relation to cultural and linguistic diversity in contemporary Australia.

Australian English is not able to be described as one form of language (The terminology here sounds a little bit odd - maybe try and reword this).This is due to cultural and language diversity in contemoratory (Contemporary) Australian (society?) which leads to language variation in Australian English. Migrant ethnolects allow for diversity and aboriginal (Aboriginal) English is of common use in the Australian vencular (vernacular).As well as this American English and other international ethnolects  are leading to conformity due to the nature and power they have over Australian English (What are you trying to say here? The meaning is not clear).

Migrant ethnolects are common in Australian English and give it diversity.Migrant ethnolects hold covert prestige due to it reflecting their linguistic and cultural identity as well as showing evidence of assimilation into English speaking society.The covert prestige they hold outlines them as a migrant ethnolect (Reword - meaning very vague) and creates identity that reflects there cultural ties.In the Greek migrant ethnolect (the correct term should be Greek-Australian Ethnolect, as her language encompasses both features from Greek and Australian English) there are various distinctive features such as the omissions of the auxiliary verb which separate the vernacular of the greeks (Greek's) language use which sculpts a distinct identity for them (Good point, but need to back it up with examples, and say WHY this reflects the Greek identity - is it because there are no auxiliary verbs in Greek?) .The movie Wog Boy added ‘Ethnic diversity and richness to a society’(Prompt 1) due to the the use of migrant greek ethnolect used in a Australian English context (I know you are trying to incorporate the prompts into your essay, but the prompt here doesn't really support your contention)  .This increased the popularity of migrant ethnolects such as the greek ethnolect in Australian English which leads to more language variation in modern society.This variation of Australian English leads to it not being able to be described as one whole form of language due to the constant variation.The article by Inga Ting called ‘Talk of the Town’ discuss that in countries that Australia is extremely multicultural.In this article there was talk about the ‘shift to multiculturalism’ (Ting 2014) which was a turning point for the Australian English vernacular and cementing it as a multi culture language and non homogeneous.

Aboriginal Australian English is off common use in the Australian vernacular.The Ethnolect of aboriginal Australian English is used predominantly by the Australian Aboriginal uses is commonly used in a variety of context and creating another form of Australian language.The ‘Quit’ campaign is an example of the Aboriginal English being used in contemporary media.The Quit campaign uses aboriginal English throughout to reduce social distance with the audience which are aboriginal smokers.Examples of how aboriginal English is used to reduce social distance (why does this campaign need to reduce social distance between it and Indigenous Australians? Is it because that the campaign is directed at them? Are they trying to appeal to Indigenous Australians?) as well as enhancing mutual intelligibility include the slogan they used which is ‘smoking, no good aye’ (Australian Gov, Quit campaign 2013) (Good use of example).There are also many borrowed expressions that are relevant in  Australian English which destroys the standard of Australian English which turns it into a multi linguistic language.Borrowed expressions are largely driven by need and include cultural terms, an example of a commonly used borrowed expression is boomerang.Culturally significant expressions such as these identifies individuals as Australian due to Australian being a diverse country and ‘we are the words we use’(Prompt 4).Aboriginal english is used commonly media means which leads it do being a form of Australian English which there are already are various forms.

American English and other international ethnolects are used in Australian language in a common bases and blends in with Australian English features.‘Australian English..Embraces all of these various dictational types’ (Macquarie university 2006) and this leads to conformity (conformity to what?). Iggy Azalea was put under security by Ben Tarwick-Smith in a article he wrote about her using ‘linguistic theft’ (Smith 2014) to broaden her audience and grow her popularity to a greater extent.These uses of conformity of the powerful American English are common in modern society to enhance group member ship, such as Iggy Azalea did when using American Language in her music.This incentives to conform to American English means it will be a common feature in Australian English leading it to being non-Homogenous.Teen speck (speak) is common in Australian English and adds diversity to the more standard Australian English.Puberty Blues is a popularity Australian T.V show and teen speck is very common among the characters (How does Teenspeak related to Americanism of Australian English? You indicated in your topic sentence that you are talking about American English in Australia, so it should be ONLY about that, unless you can slot Teenspeak under Americanism of Australian English).In puberty blues there are frequent  use of colloquialisms which are common in teen speck such as ‘mole’(puberty blues 2013).The variety of Australian English as well as conforming to international dialects leads to varying forms of Australian English.

Australian English is a non-homogenous language due to the forms of language that exist in the Australian English language.With the cultural diversity that is added by migrant ethnolects as well as aboriginal English there are many forms of the langage.The use of teen speck leads to variety in Australian English as well as conforming to more powerful language such as American English leads to many forms of the language.

I like some of the examples you used, and the directions you are heading with your paragraphs, those things, well done
You need to remember to have examples for EVERY piece of argument you give, even if its just something like 'Greek-Australian English speakers often omit auxiliary verbs', it is important for you to give an example of this like 'I would go tonight' (Standard Australian English), vs 'I go tonight (ethnolect) --> It is important to make that comparison between standard Aus English and the ethnolect and account for their differences

First paragraph, I wasn't really sure what point you were trying to make with the movie as evidence. The easiest way to go about the first paragraph is probably just focussing on the lexical, syntactic or semantic differences between ethnolects and SAE and saying why its different and how ethnolect speakers choose to speak that way (retaining culture, representing cultural identity, strengthening ties with their fellow ethnolect speakers, etc)

An way to link Teenspeak and American English in your third paragraph is to say that American media has infiltrated the entertainment world, and appeals to Australian youth --> this leads to Australian youth borrowing a lot of Americanised lexis and slang and hence Australian Teenspeak is becoming Americanised --> variation in Australian English.

Anyhow I hope my comments make sense :) don't worry you are doing great and there is still a while until the exam - you can do it!
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: psyxwar on October 11, 2014, 05:53:25 pm
Thought I might revive this thread. Below is a commentary, text used is from VCAA 2001 (http://www.vcaa.vic.edu.au/Documents/exams/englishlanguage/englang2001.pdf), I did the Section 2 text.

Feel free to absolutely rip it to shreds, don't worry about my feelings :D I feel like my writing goes out the window when I have to write it timed and it ends up being shallow and repetitive...

On that note 2014 ELers post up your stuff and we can all mark eachother's work so we can all improve :D.

Section B - VCAA 2001 Commentary (Section 2, Text 3)
Wordcount: 703 words Time: 45 min

The text is a transcript of an extract from an ABC radio commentary of the Men's 400 Freestyle Swimming Race at the Sydney Olympics on 16 September 2000. There are three interlocutors: A, B and M. A and B are regular sports commentators on ABC radio, whilst M is an expert guest commentator who is also a swimmer. Being a radio commentary, the text's function is referential in describing the race as it happens and this is exemplified through the predominant use of the present tense throughout.  A is the dominant interlocutor in the text, delivering the bulk of the commentary, while B and M play a more supportive role. The audience is likely to be comprised of Australian swimming fans, and the text's register is relatively informal.

The text's social purpose in describing the race as it happens is reflected by the language used. The present tense permeates the whole transcript, and this coupled with the active voice helps immerse the audience in the race, making them feel as if they are there watching the race themselves. This is exemplified when A says "Rosolino is in second place" (10);  here the use of the present tense verb "is" captures a sense of currency, helping keep the audience on the edge of their seat. Parataxis is also frequently used by A, for example in lines 25-28 "Coman is in third, and..., and there's a terrific battle for the minor placings'. [240 words, end of page 1] This paratactic style both is indicative of its unplanned nature, but also enables A to effectively describe what is happening in the race as it happens with little effort - more information can easily be threaded on simply through adding another coordinating conjunction.

The context of the text is also reflected by the text's stylistic features. The use of the surnames of the athletes to refer to them requires inference to understand, with proper nouns such as "Rosolino" (10), "Hacket" (11), and "Coman" (28) used without elaboration. This is reflective of the target audience of swimming fans, who are expected to know who these athletes are. Furthermore, the use of the hypocorism "Thorpie" (2) by B highlights that the commentators are Australian; "Thorpie" is an Australian nickname for the swimmer, and this illuminates the identity of the commentators. Furthermore, use of swimming jargon such as "sprinting" (3) reflects the expertise of the commentators regarding swimming, and in relation to the audience, is able to convey what is happening concisely and accurately through relying on inference.

The turn taking of the piece reflects its text type as a sports commentary. Speaker A is dominant throughout and this is perhaps indicative of him being the senior sports commentator. [206 words, end of page 2] B plays a supportive role, for example after A says "he goes through in forty five o nine" (21), B adds "two seconds under the world record" (22), providing some additional information to the reader in helping them appreciate just how well Ian Thorpe was swimming. Speaker M, as the expert guest commentator, does not speak often. He does give his opinion on how Ian Thorpe is going in line 5-7 after being prompted by B via a direct interrogative "Is he Mark?". This shows M's expertise in the field of swimming, because B is clarifying his interpretation with M. A employs the rising intonation frequently to hold the floor, for example "but now Ian Thorpe" (16) and this coupled with an extensive use of parataxis signals to the other interlocutors he still intends to speak. There is only one instance of overlap in the whole text in lines 64-65, which is due to a timing error as evidenced by A stopping and letting B finish, This is evidence of a cooperative discourse .

The prosody of the commentators reflects their emotions and excitement. B employs emphatic stress in line 1 "this is inc^redible" which emphasises the adjective "incredible" and hence conveys how amazing Ian Thorpe's performance is. A's increase in volume in lines 32 "<F what a sensational swimmer he is F>" shows his excitement over Thorpe's inevitable victory and his emotional investment into the race [236 words, end of page 3]. This is perhaps done to enthuse listeners and to make them more engaged in the race knowing it is nearing its climax .
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: sparklingwater on October 12, 2014, 11:43:36 pm
Hi, will someone be able to give me feedback on my essay please? Thank you! Be as brutal as possible please.

Discuss the attitudes and opinions associated with ‘politically correct’ language. Is there a role for non-discriminatory language in the 21st century?

A language has many variations with ‘politically correct’ language being one of these multifarious variations. ‘Politically correct’ language is the use of language which aims to remove discrimination against politically, socially or economically disadvantaged groups. Public domains have a very important role in addressing politically correct language in a similar way that our government has. Individuals also have to know when and where to use this variety of language. With more and more social groups emerging in this 21st century, politically correct language is holding more prestige than ever.

Public domains have a very important role in upholding ‘politically correct’ language. Due to the vast amount of social groups present in these domains at a given time, it is important for the language present to remain as non-discriminatory as possible. Toilets for the disabled found at premium train stations have been recently retitled to “ambulant toilets” and similarly at RMIT University, they are now known as “accessibility toilets”. This shift away from the lexeme “disabled” aims to remove the negative connotation of having an impediment associated with the disabled community. In addition, in recent years the adjective “spastic” has become so negatively connotated with offense to disabled people that ‘The Spastic Society of Victoria’ “had to change their name to ‘Scope’” (ABC, ‘Why the words matter’). In order to remove any form of discrimination to any social groups in public domains, ‘politically correct’ language is employed because it strives to be as neutral-based as possible.

Politicians play an integral role to running our nation also play an integral role in creating politically accepted language in our country. Last year, immigration minister Scott Morrison instructed immigration and detention centre staffs to refer to asylum seekers as “illegals” and clients of detention centres as “detainees”, dehumanising their human status and desire to seek refuge, which forces the general public to view these asylum seekers in the same way. This is because “[g]overnment agencies…try to stipulate what languages can be used for what purpose, [and] what forms of the language are acceptable” (Fasold, et al, 2006, stimulus) through presenting to the public what kind of language is “correct” in our society and manipulating the audience to adopt this variety of language. In today’s society, politicians have a very important role to play in enforcing ‘politically correct’ language as they are a huge influence to our nation.

Individuals also play a part in using non-discriminatory language, however not everyone has a universal agreement in regards to the use of this language variety. Herald Sun columnist Andrew Bolt sparked controversy when, during a comment, he mentioned that the subject of concern that “she [a while Indigenous female] chooses her Aboriginal identity”. However, on the contrary, some of the readers were very happy with how direct the mention of “Aboriginal” was, as opposed to covering the use of this lexeme with euphemisms. Furthermore, the use of racist language also receives many opposing views. For example, in an Asian-dense suburb in the outer region of Melbourne, it is acceptable for them to refer to themselves as “yellow” but in the presence of a non-Asian person, it is unacceptable to do so as it is not ‘politically correct’. The language used by a person can either be discriminatory or non-discriminatory depending on the person using it and the context of where it is used.

Non-discriminatory language is used different people in different circumstance. Public places provide a very important platform for the use of non-discriminatory language. Politicians use politically correct language to address different ideas. How and where a person uses language undermines whether it is politically correct or incorrect. As seen, non-discriminatory language does play a very important role in our current 21st century.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: dannynips on October 12, 2014, 11:45:16 pm
Unfortunately I don't have time to go the through this essay or the above but id suggest maybe you should provide feedback for the one before yours, so that your not just all take and no give, and then that person might be so kind to provide feedback
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: psyxwar on October 13, 2014, 08:57:07 am
Hi, will someone be able to give me feedback on my essay please? Thank you! Be as brutal as possible please.

Discuss the attitudes and opinions associated with ‘politically correct’ language. Is there a role for non-discriminatory language in the 21st century?

A language has many variations with ‘politically correct’ language being one of these multifarious variations. ‘Politically correct’ language is the use of language which aims to remove discrimination against politically, socially or economically disadvantaged groups. Public domains have a very important role in addressing politically correct language in a similar way that our government has. Individuals also have to know when and where to use this variety of language. With more and more social groups emerging in this 21st century, politically correct language is holding more prestige than ever.

Public domains have a very important role in upholding ‘politically correct’ language. Due to the vast amount of social groups present in these domains at a given time, it is important for the language present to remain as non-discriminatory as possible. Why is this important? An obvious link, but one I feel should be made regardlessToilets for the disabled found at premium train stations have been recently retitled to “ambulant toilets” and similarly at RMIT University, they are now known as “accessibility toilets”. This shift away from the lexeme “disabled” aims to remove the negative connotation of having an impediment associated with the disabled community. Good, recent example! Your explanation needs to be more detailed though? HOW is this achieved? You could perhaps talk about how "disability" features the prefix "dis-" which is both negative and makes it appear as if the disabled is a special group that needs catering towards; "accessibility" is more positive of a term and instead the focus is on how everyone can utilise such a faciliityIn addition, in recent years the adjective “spastic” has become so negatively connotated with offense to disabled people that ‘The Spastic Society of Victoria’ “had to change their name to ‘Scope’” (ABC, ‘Why the words matter’). In order to remove any form of discrimination to any social groups in public domainsToo strong. It doesn't 'remove any form of discrimination', all it can do is to mitigate this effect, ‘politically correct’ language is employed because it strives to be as neutral-based (?)as possible.

Politicians play an integral role to running our nation also play an integral role in creating politically accepted language in our country. This doesn't read well.Last year, immigration minister Scott Morrison instructed immigration and detention centre staffs to refer to asylum seekers as “illegals” and clients of detention centres as “detainees”, dehumanising their human status and desire to seek refuge, which forces the general public to view these asylum seekers in the same way. This is because “[g]overnment agencies…try to stipulate what languages can be used for what purpose, [and] what forms of the language are acceptable” (Fasold, et al, 2006, stimulus) through presenting to the public what kind of language is “correct” in our society and manipulating the audience to adopt this variety of language. I don't see this as particularly relevant to the essay topic. As you've defined it "Politically correct’ language is the use of language which aims to remove discrimination against politically, socially or economically disadvantaged groups". Politically correctness is not the same as language that is promoted by politicians. You could make this relevant depending on how you frame this example (for example re; the impact of discriminatory language in dehumanising) but ultimately it doesn't address the topicIn today’s society, politicians have a very important role to play in enforcing ‘politically correct’ language as they are a huge influence to our nation.

Individuals also play a part in using non-discriminatory language, however not everyone has a universal agreement in regards to the use of this language variety. Herald Sun columnist Andrew Bolt sparked controversy when, during a comment, he mentioned that the subject of concern that “she [a while Indigenous female] chooses her Aboriginal identity”. Interesting example, though the Bolt case is a bit dated; you're better off looking at 2014 stuff, especially because all the Section 18C stuff this year is relevant to thisHowever, on the contrary, some of the readers were very happy with how direct the mention of “Aboriginal” was, as opposed to covering the use of this lexeme with euphemisms. The issue is a bit hazy to me, but was it really the use of "Aboriginal" that caused the controversy? "Aboriginal" is hardly an offensive term; I thought the issue stemmed from Bolt saying that the person could not be Aboriginal because she was white?Furthermore, the use of racist language also receives many opposing views. For example, in an Asian-dense suburb in the outer region of Melbourne, it is acceptable for them to refer to themselves as “yellow” but in the presence of a non-Asian person, it is unacceptable to do so as it is not ‘politically correct’. The language used by a person can either be discriminatory or non-discriminatory depending on the person using it and the context of where it is used. Sure, but I don't think this is too relevant to the topic

Non-discriminatory language is used different people in different circumstance. Public places provide a very important platform for the use of non-discriminatory language. Politicians use politically correct language to address different ideas. How and where a person uses language undermines whether it is politically correct or incorrect. As seen, non-discriminatory language does play a very important role in our current 21st century. What of the attitudes?
Not a bad essay.

A few quick things:

- It's too short. 600 words is pretty short, especially if it was written un-timed but even if it was written under exam conditions you could probably hit 700-800 at least. Quality>Quantity, true, but I feel like you're limiting yourself in what you can discuss and the complexity of your discussion if it's this short.

- I don't feel like you've addressed the essay topic particularly well. The topic is about attitudes surrounding PC language, as well as its role in contemporary Australian society. You've addressed its role in the first paragraph, and kind of addressed attitudes in your third paragraph by looking at how the one comment can be perceived from different perspectives, but ultimately I feel like there's a lot you more you could've addressed. Attitudes towards political correctness itself for example -- you're basically contending that "political correctness is good" without offering an alternative viewpoint or perspective on the issue. While it is perfectly fine to agree with an essay topic, in a topic that like this that actually wants you to talk about attitudes it is definitely better to look at both sides of the coin.

- Interesting examples, which is good.

But really, just make sure you understand what the topic is arguing and that every single point you bring up is relevant and has a purpose in developing your argumentation.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: lzxnl on October 13, 2014, 05:30:03 pm
Because I'm bored, I'll mark one essay. This isn't going to happen normally so don't hope for it.
Be as brutal as possible? You're going to regret saying that :P

Hi, will someone be able to give me feedback on my essay please? Thank you! Be as brutal as possible please.

Discuss the attitudes and opinions associated with ‘politically correct’ language. Is there a role for non-discriminatory language in the 21st century?

A language has many variations with ‘politically correct’ language being one of these multifarious variations. ‘Politically correct’ language is the use of language which aims to remove discrimination against politically, socially or economically disadvantaged groups. Public domains have a very important role in addressing politically correct language in a similar way that our government has you haven't mentioned what the government does, so what 'similar way' are you talking about?. Individuals also have to know when and where to use this variety of language. With more and more social groups emerging in this 21st century, politically correct language is holding more prestige than ever.  You're being vague. I don't see how you've built your introduction up to your contention

Public domains have a very important role in upholding ‘politically correct’ language. Due to the vast amount of social groups present in these domains at a given time, it is important for the language present to remain as non-discriminatory as possible to avoid offence? To make you appear polite? To make you appear 'with the times'? Why is it important? Be clearer . Toilets for the disabled found at premium train stations have been recently retitled renamed? to “ambulant toilets” and similarly at RMIT University, they are now known as “accessibility toilets”. This shift away from the lexeme “disabled” aims to remove the negative connotation of having an impediment associated with the disabled community how does it do that? It does that by replacing the word with one with neutral connotations, and really what it's doing is shifting attention away from someone's disability . In addition, in recent years the adjective “spastic” has become so negatively connotated with offense to disabled people that ‘The Spastic Society of Victoria’ “had to change their name to ‘Scope’” (ABC, ‘Why the words matter’). In order to remove any form of discrimination to any social groups in public domains, ‘politically correct’ language is employed because it strives to be as neutral-based as possible. so, you haven't really analysed exactly how PC language works. You've touched upon it, but you need to explicitly mention how PC language is better

Politicians that play an integral role to running our nation also play an integral role in creating politically accepted language in our country. Last year, immigration minister Scott Morrison instructed immigration and detention centre staffs to refer to asylum seekers as “illegals” and clients of detention centres as “detainees”, dehumanising their human status and desire to seek refuge, which forces the general public to view these asylum seekers in the same way Really? Because the general public is naive enough to believe everything the media says? It's more it encourages people to share these views . This is because “[g]overnment agencies…try to stipulate what languages can be used for what purpose, [and] what forms of the language are acceptable” (Fasold, et al, 2006, stimulus) through presenting to the public what kind of language is “correct” in our society and manipulating the audience to adopt this variety of language. In today’s society, politicians have a very important role to play in enforcing ‘politically correct’ language as they are a huge influence to our nation. OK, this paragraph really didn't have enough content. You need at least another example or two here. I also don't like your quote. For starters, who is Fasold? I think that quote is better suited to political language, which isn't politically correct language

Individuals also play a part in using non-discriminatory language, however not everyone has a universal agreement in regards to the use of this language variety. Herald Sun columnist Andrew Bolt sparked controversy when, during a comment, he mentioned that the subject of concern that “she [a while Indigenous female] chooses her Aboriginal identity”. You've jumped a bit into examples here However, on the contrary, some of the readers were very happy with how direct the mention of “Aboriginal” was, as opposed to covering the use of this lexeme with euphemisms. Furthermore, the use of racist language also receives many opposing views. For example, in an Asian-dense suburb in the outer region of Melbourne, it is acceptable for them to refer to themselves as “yellow” but in the presence of a non-Asian person, it is unacceptable to do so as it is not ‘politically correct’. The language used by a person can either be discriminatory or non-discriminatory depending on the person using it and the context of where it is used. Again, not enough content here. I'm not sure what point you're trying to make either as I really don't think Asians would find that offensive. I am one.

Non-discriminatory language is used different people in different circumstance. Public places provide a very important platform for the use of non-discriminatory language. Politicians use politically correct language to address different ideas. How and where a person uses language undermines whether it is politically correct or incorrect undermines!? You mean 'determines'? . As seen, non-discriminatory language does play a very important role in our current 21st century.



You've presented an understanding of the subject material in this essay. However, there are (at least) the following flaws:
1. More content would greatly strengthen this response
2. Your phrasing is a little awkward at times
3. I feel you've misinterpreted the question. It's not 'who is using this language and how they are using it'; rather, it's 'what does PC language do, what are its objectives and what's wrong with it?' There are well-publicised instances of 'PC gone mad' when people feel PC language is a ridiculous violation of someone's freedom of speech by being unreasonable, and sometimes PC is offensive
4. You haven't really touched on discriminatory language enough I feel. You only mention racism and you've touched upon discrimination against disabled people, but you don't go deep enough into detail. What is the problem with calling people 'Aboriginal'? Indeed, what's wrong with calling Adam Goodes an 'ape' from last year? You need to analyse exactly why such language is offensive and why people get around it. In other words, you haven't established the need for non-discriminatory language very well here.

I'm no expert on giving marks, but it'd be hard to give a 10/15 for this essay.

Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: psyxwar on October 13, 2014, 05:48:05 pm
Thought I might revive this thread. Below is a commentary, text used is from VCAA 2001 (http://www.vcaa.vic.edu.au/Documents/exams/englishlanguage/englang2001.pdf), I did the Section 2 text.

Feel free to absolutely rip it to shreds, don't worry about my feelings :D I feel like my writing goes out the window when I have to write it timed and it ends up being shallow and repetitive...

On that note 2014 ELers post up your stuff and we can all mark eachother's work so we can all improve :D.

Section B - VCAA 2001 Commentary (Section 2, Text 3)
Wordcount: 703 words Time: 45 min

The text is a transcript of an extract from an ABC radio commentary of the Men's 400 Freestyle Swimming Race at the Sydney Olympics on 16 September 2000. There are three interlocutors: A, B and M. A and B are regular sports commentators on ABC radio, whilst M is an expert guest commentator who is also a swimmer. Being a radio commentary, the text's function is referential in describing the race as it happens and this is exemplified through the predominant use of the present tense throughout.  A is the dominant interlocutor in the text, delivering the bulk of the commentary, while B and M play a more supportive role. The audience is likely to be comprised of Australian swimming fans, and the text's register is relatively informal.

The text's social purpose in describing the race as it happens is reflected by the language used. The present tense permeates the whole transcript, and this coupled with the active voice helps immerse the audience in the race, making them feel as if they are there watching the race themselves. This is exemplified when A says "Rosolino is in second place" (10);  here the use of the present tense verb "is" captures a sense of currency, helping keep the audience on the edge of their seat. Parataxis is also frequently used by A, for example in lines 25-28 "Coman is in third, and..., and there's a terrific battle for the minor placings'. [240 words, end of page 1] This paratactic style both is indicative of its unplanned nature, but also enables A to effectively describe what is happening in the race as it happens with little effort - more information can easily be threaded on simply through adding another coordinating conjunction.

The context of the text is also reflected by the text's stylistic features. The use of the surnames of the athletes to refer to them requires inference to understand, with proper nouns such as "Rosolino" (10), "Hacket" (11), and "Coman" (28) used without elaboration. This is reflective of the target audience of swimming fans, who are expected to know who these athletes are. Furthermore, the use of the hypocorism "Thorpie" (2) by B highlights that the commentators are Australian; "Thorpie" is an Australian nickname for the swimmer, and this illuminates the identity of the commentators. Furthermore, use of swimming jargon such as "sprinting" (3) reflects the expertise of the commentators regarding swimming, and in relation to the audience, is able to convey what is happening concisely and accurately through relying on inference.

The turn taking of the piece reflects its text type as a sports commentary. Speaker A is dominant throughout and this is perhaps indicative of him being the senior sports commentator. [206 words, end of page 2] B plays a supportive role, for example after A says "he goes through in forty five o nine" (21), B adds "two seconds under the world record" (22), providing some additional information to the reader in helping them appreciate just how well Ian Thorpe was swimming. Speaker M, as the expert guest commentator, does not speak often. He does give his opinion on how Ian Thorpe is going in line 5-7 after being prompted by B via a direct interrogative "Is he Mark?". This shows M's expertise in the field of swimming, because B is clarifying his interpretation with M. A employs the rising intonation frequently to hold the floor, for example "but now Ian Thorpe" (16) and this coupled with an extensive use of parataxis signals to the other interlocutors he still intends to speak. There is only one instance of overlap in the whole text in lines 64-65, which is due to a timing error as evidenced by A stopping and letting B finish, This is evidence of a cooperative discourse .

The prosody of the commentators reflects their emotions and excitement. B employs emphatic stress in line 1 "this is inc^redible" which emphasises the adjective "incredible" and hence conveys how amazing Ian Thorpe's performance is. A's increase in volume in lines 32 "<F what a sensational swimmer he is F>" shows his excitement over Thorpe's inevitable victory and his emotional investment into the race [236 words, end of page 3]. This is perhaps done to enthuse listeners and to make them more engaged in the race knowing it is nearing its climax .

Noooo mr lznxl pls mark mine too :'(
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: dannynips on October 13, 2014, 06:02:27 pm

Thought I might revive this thread. Below is a commentary, text used is from VCAA 2001 (http://www.vcaa.vic.edu.au/Documents/exams/englishlanguage/englang2001.pdf), I did the Section 2 text.

Feel free to absolutely rip it to shreds, don't worry about my feelings :D I feel like my writing goes out the window when I have to write it timed and it ends up being shallow and repetitive...

On that note 2014 ELers post up your stuff and we can all mark eachother's work so we can all improve :D.

Section B - VCAA 2001 Commentary (Section 2, Text 3)
Wordcount: 703 words Time: 45 min

The text is a transcript of an extract from an ABC radio commentary of the Men's 400 Freestyle Swimming Race at the Sydney Olympics on 16 September 2000. There are three interlocutors: A, B and M. A and B are regular sports commentators on ABC radio, whilst M is an expert guest commentator who is also a swimmer. Being a radio commentary, the text's function is referential in describing the race as it happens and this is exemplified through the predominant use of the present tense throughout.  A is the dominant interlocutor in the text, delivering the bulk of the commentary, while B and M play a more supportive role. The audience is likely to be comprised of Australian swimming fans, and the text's register is relatively informal.

The text's social purpose in describing the race as it happens is reflected by the language used. The present tense permeates the whole transcript, and this coupled with the active voice helps immerse the audience in the race, making them feel as if they are there watching the race themselves. This is exemplified when A says "Rosolino is in second place" (10);  here the use of the present tense verb "is" captures a sense of currency, helping keep the audience on the edge of their seat. Parataxis is also frequently used by A, for example in lines 25-28 "Coman is in third, and..., and there's a terrific battle for the minor placings'. [240 words, end of page 1] This paratactic style both is indicative of its unplanned nature, but also enables A to effectively describe what is happening in the race as it happens with little effort - more information can easily be threaded on simply through adding another coordinating conjunction.

The context of the text is also reflected by the text's stylistic features. The use of the surnames of the athletes to refer to them requires inference to understand, with proper nouns such as "Rosolino" (10), "Hacket" (11), and "Coman" (28) used without elaboration. This is reflective of the target audience of swimming fans, who are expected to know who these athletes are. Furthermore, the use of the hypocorism "Thorpie" (2) by B highlights that the commentators are Australian; "Thorpie" is an Australian nickname for the swimmer, and this illuminates the identity of the commentators. Furthermore, use of swimming jargon such as "sprinting" (3) reflects the expertise of the commentators regarding swimming, and in relation to the audience, is able to convey what is happening concisely and accurately through relying on inference.

The turn taking of the piece reflects its text type as a sports commentary. Speaker A is dominant throughout and this is perhaps indicative of him being the senior sports commentator. [206 words, end of page 2] B plays a supportive role, for example after A says "he goes through in forty five o nine" (21), B adds "two seconds under the world record" (22), providing some additional information to the reader in helping them appreciate just how well Ian Thorpe was swimming. Speaker M, as the expert guest commentator, does not speak often. He does give his opinion on how Ian Thorpe is going in line 5-7 after being prompted by B via a direct interrogative "Is he Mark?". This shows M's expertise in the field of swimming, because B is clarifying his interpretation with M. A employs the rising intonation frequently to hold the floor, for example "but now Ian Thorpe" (16) and this coupled with an extensive use of parataxis signals to the other interlocutors he still intends to speak. There is only one instance of overlap in the whole text in lines 64-65, which is due to a timing error as evidenced by A stopping and letting B finish, This is evidence of a cooperative discourse .

The prosody of the commentators reflects their emotions and excitement. B employs emphatic stress in line 1 "this is inc^redible" which emphasises the adjective "incredible" and hence conveys how amazing Ian Thorpe's performance is. A's increase in volume in lines 32 "<F what a sensational swimmer he is F>" shows his excitement over Thorpe's inevitable victory and his emotional investment into the race [236 words, end of page 3]. This is perhaps done to enthuse listeners and to make them more engaged in the race knowing it is nearing its climax .




I had a read and I only get about 12 or 11 for my own language analyses but i thought your commentary was good. especially the syntax paragraph (present tense plus parataxis to aid referential function). Good use of meta language throughout. I'm not sure how to provide helpful feedback, but I would have talked about the sarcastic "are you sure it's not a hundred and seventeen thousand" comment referring to the incredible uproar made from the 17000 viewing the spectacle.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: aqple on October 13, 2014, 06:14:31 pm
Section B - VCAA 2001 Commentary (Section 2, Text 3)]
Wordcount: 703 words Time: 45 min

The text is a transcript of an extract from an ABC radio commentary of the Men's 400 Freestyle Swimming Race at the Sydney Olympics on 16 September 2000. There are three interlocutors: A, B and M. A and B are regular sports commentators on ABC radio Include their purpose e.g. to describe the race for listeners, whilst M is an expert guest commentator who is also a swimmer What is his purpose? e.g. to provide for casual insight...to fill in between breaks or silences...etc. Being a radio commentary, the text's function is referential in describing the race as it happens and this is exemplified through the predominant use of the present tense throughout.  A is the dominant interlocutor in the text, delivering the bulk of the commentary, while B and M play a more supportive role B is the secondary commentator whereas M may play the more supportive role. The audience is likely to be comprised of Australian swimming fans, and the text's register is relatively informal.

The text's social purpose in describing the race as it happens is reflected by the language used. Expression here could improve... e.g. The social purpose of the commentary is to describe the live race for listeners and this is reflected through the language use.The present tense permeates the whole transcript, and this coupled with the active voice helps immerse the audience in the race, making them feel as if they are there watching the race themselves. This is exemplified when A says "Rosolino is in second place" (10);  here the use of the present tense verb "is" captures a sense of currency Wrong word, perhaps you could say it reflects the live commentary purpose, helping keep the audience on the edge of their seat This idiom might be too informal...being critical here haha, perhaps say it ensures the audience is engaged which keeps them from changing the radio. Parataxis is also frequently used by A, for example in lines 25-28 "Coman is in third, and..., and there's a terrific battle for the minor placings'. [240 words, end of page 1] This paratactic style both is indicative of its the unplanned nature of the commentary, but and also enables A to effectively describe what is happening in the race as it happens with little effort unfolds- more information can easily/simply be threaded on simply through adding another coordinating conjunction.

The context of the text is also reflected by the text's stylistic features Try not to use 'text' twice in one sentence, especially with 'context'. The use of the surnames of the athletes to refer to them requires inference to understand Improve expression e.g. Referring to the athletes by their surnames..., with proper nouns such as "Rosolino" (10), "Hacket" (11), and "Coman" (28) used without elaboration Perhaps explain this e.g. This inference would be easily identified by listeners who are aware of the commentator's use of vocatives to refer to the swimmers. This is reflective of the target audience of swimming fans, who are expected to know who these athletes are. Furthermore, the use of the hypocorism "Thorpie" (2) by B highlights that the commentators are Australian; "Thorpie" is an Australian nickname for the swimmer, and this illuminates the identity of the commentators It also reflects the name that Australia has admirably given to Ian Thorpe, therefore it is used in place of Thorpe by the commentators because it is more easily identifiable by listeners. Furthermore, use of swimming jargon such as "sprinting" (3) reflects the expertise of the commentators regarding swimming, and in relation to the audience, is able to convey what is happening concisely and accurately through relying on inference.

The turn taking of the piece reflects its text type as a sports commentary. Speaker A is dominant throughout and this is perhaps indicative of him being the senior sports commentator. [206 words, end of page 2] B plays a supportive role, for example after A says "he goes through in forty five o nine" (21), B adds "two seconds under the world record" (22), providing some additional information to the reader listener in helping them appreciate just how well Ian Thorpe was swimming This additional info provides for insight and interesting info so the radio commentary gains credibility. Speaker M, as the expert guest commentator, does not speak often Use linguistic terms, e.g. is not involved in the discourse. He does give his opinion on how Ian Thorpe is going in line 5-7 after being prompted by B via a direct interrogative "Is he Mark?". This shows M's expertise in the field of swimming, because B is clarifying his interpretation with M. A employs the rising intonation frequently to hold the floor, for example "but now Ian Thorpe" (16) and this coupled with an extensive use of parataxis signals to the other interlocutors he still intends to speak. There is only one instance of overlap in the whole text in lines 64-65, which is due to a timing error as evidenced by A stopping and letting B finish, This is evidence of a cooperative discourse .It demonstrates a cooperative discourse that must flow well for the convenience of listeners.

The prosody of the commentators reflects their emotions and excitement Too vague...perhaps talk about how prosodic features are important as it effectively communicates with the listeners. B employs emphatic stress in line 1 "this is inc^redible" which emphasises the adjective "incredible" and hence conveys how amazing This sounds so informal haha, maybe say that it puts emphasis or use the nominalised noun 'amazement' e.g. conveys his amazement of Ian Thorpe's performance Ian Thorpe's performance is. A's increase in volume in lines 32 "<F what a sensational swimmer he is F>" shows his excitement over Thorpe's inevitable victory and his emotional investment into the race [236 words, end of page 3]. This is perhaps done to enthuse listeners and to make them more engaged in the race knowing it is nearing its climax Connect this to the purpose e.g. it allows listeners to visualise what is happening .

Good effort for 45 minutes under timed conditions. There are some aspects to your introduction that you do not discuss in your analysis, for example, how is the text informal? Prosody is very important in this text, so I would have focused more on that, rather than maybe the stylistic features.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: dannynips on October 13, 2014, 06:24:25 pm


Do you think you could assess my essay? i really like the way you give feedback and am learning from your feedback to others so thanks!

here is my essy: - 55 mins 795 words -- also if you could provide a ballpark marking for it thatd be awesome (i know its hard to do and doesnt matter if youre way off or anything but just wanna know)

TOPIC: What does Australian English look and sound like today, and how does it reflect our identity as a nation?
[STIMULUS SHOULD BE ATTACHED]

Australian English is a major variety of English used across Australia, containing many distinct linguistic features making it look and sound unique to other Englishes. It serves as a fundamental token of the Australian national identity and is forever adapting to reflect this ever-changing notion. The Australian accent is arguably our most salient feature which has undergone great change and is an important bearer of history in regards to our identity. Australia’s use of slang and taboo language contribute to manifesting the national identity. The multiculturalism of Australia has bred many ethnolect varieties enriching the perceived Australian identity. Language use in Australia has adapted and currently is indubitably an important medium to express the modern Australian identity.

The Australian English vernacular reflects the history of the nation and the values that are instilled in Australians. The abstract noun ‘mateship’ or the common noun ‘larrikin’ are examples of distinctly Australian lexis which reflect the self-perception of the Australian identity as they value solidarity and comradery (mateship) and actually endorse boisterousness and cheekiness within a good hearted person (the modern idea of a larrikin). Instead of adopting the rhotic emphasis on /r/ that Americans are characterised by, Australians have continued to pronounce words like butter as /bʌtə/ showing the Australian perception of being laid back, easy going and unwilling to conform to American pronunciation.  The broad Australian accent is internationally recognised as being iconically Australian, despite it only being spoken by the minority today. The accent veered up the continuum towards the more prestigious cultivated accent late 19th century as an inflow of British immigrants arrived and the Received Pronunciation became prominent. Then during the First World War, in order to distinguish Australians from the British the accent moved away from cultivated towards broad again which played a significant part in developing the Australian identity. The general accent is the middle ground and is the most popular accent spoken nowadays in Australia by roughly 80 per cent of the population. This accent is as Bruce Moore describes it, our “bearer of history” and maintains our identity by still sounding undeniably Australian but avoids the negative stigma often associated with the broad accent.

An underlying aspect of Australian English is the inventive and spontaneous use of colloquial language particularly in regards to swearing allowing us to invoke humour and reflect our values of informality and mateship. Australians take pride and show morphological innovation in their use of diminutives such as ‘servo’ for service station and the more taboo word formations such as ‘shit-faced’ for drunk. Dave Hughes demonstrated this bold sense of humour in last year’s Melbourne Comedy Festival when he employed the innovative expletive ‘whoop-de-fucking-do’. Our fondness for such colloquial usage transcends our counterparts in British and American English, which demonstrates the Australian identity and how easy-going and laid-back we are in the way we see humour from irreverent language.  One only has to look at the plethora of idioms used in Australian English to sense our colloquial and humorous personalities. At a recent funeral I attended, the idiomatic expression “even though he’s carked it, he’s still here with us,” was used, showing that even in the most formal and sincere of contexts this characteristic of Australian English is present and playful colloquial language is therefore  an innate characteristic of our identity.

Australia has developed becoming increasingly multicultural morphing our national identity to an egalitarian society. Waves of immigration entering Australia late in the 20th century brought many different cultures and ethnolects into Australian English. These ethnolects have entrenched themselves into Australian society deriving many of their linguistic features from the speaker’s first language. One example is the South Asian ethnolect which is characterised by the monophthongisation of the phonemes [oʊ] and [eɪ] to [ɔ:] and [e:] respectively, given that the South Asian languages are devoid of diphthongs. These differences mark group boundaries and symbolise identity by differentiating them from other English varieties. As a nation, the numerous accents and ethnolects present help shape the Australian identity as diverse and welcoming of other cultures. Many film-makers fail to recognise how Australian English looks and sounds today and continue to display Australia with the one iconic Australian accent. However, the modern egalitarian identity has been recognised by the Australian community and pleas for a wider array of accents to be represented have been seen. This strongly demonstrates how the large abundance of varieties in Australian English reflects the diverse and multicultural identity of the nation.

Australian English contains its own distinct look and sound. Its unique look regarding lexis, taboo language and idioms reflect the united, relaxed and humorous nature of the Australian identity. The iconic sound of the Australian accent and the myriad of ethnolects hold the essence of Australian history and construct the egalitarian national identity.


THANK YOU :)
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: aqple on October 13, 2014, 06:28:23 pm

I would be happy to, I'll have a good look tomorrow okay?  :)
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: dannynips on October 13, 2014, 07:49:40 pm

I would be happy to, I'll have a good look tomorrow okay?  :)

Yeah no worries. Thanks
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: psyxwar on October 13, 2014, 08:09:52 pm
Good effort for 45 minutes under timed conditions. There are some aspects to your introduction that you do not discuss in your analysis, for example, how is the text informal? Prosody is very important in this text, so I would have focused more on that, rather than maybe the stylistic features.
Thanks aqple <3 will defs keep the feedback in mind
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: aqple on October 14, 2014, 05:26:46 pm
TOPIC: What does Australian English look and sound like today, and how does it reflect our identity as a nation?
[STIMULUS SHOULD BE ATTACHED]

Australian English is a major variety of English used across Australia, containing many distinct linguistic features making it look and sound unique to other Englishes. It serves as a fundamental token of the Australian national identity and is forever adapting to reflect this ever-changing notion. Great, maybe explain this in terms of how we see ourselves and the identity we desire to promote. The Australian accent is arguably our most salient feature which has undergone great change and is an important bearer of history in regards to our identity. Australia’s use of slang and taboo language contribute to manifesting the national identity Perhaps be more specific, e.g. displays attitudes and character. The multiculturalism of Australia has bred many ethnolect varieties enriching the perceived Australian identity. Language use in Australia has adapted and currently is indubitably an important medium to express the modern Australian identity. Strong introduction.

The Australian English vernacular reflects the history of the nation and the values that are instilled in Australians. The abstract noun ‘mateship’ or the common noun ‘larrikin’ are examples of distinctly Australian lexis which reflect the self-perception of the Australian identity as they value solidarity and comradery (mateship) and actually endorse boisterousness and cheekiness within a good hearted person (the modern idea of a larrikin) How does this reflect our attitudes? E.g. laid-back, friendly. Instead of adopting the rhotic emphasis on /r/ that Americans are characterised by, Australians have continued to pronounce words like butter as /bʌtə/ showing the Australian perception of being laid back, easy going and unwilling to conform to American pronunciation You could discuss how regardless of the increasing influence of Americanisms, e.g. using the words 'dude' and 'buddy' instead of 'mate', we still keep our uniquely Australian accent.  The broad Australian accent is internationally recognised as being iconically Australian, despite it only being spoken by the minority today. The accent veered up the continuum towards the more prestigious cultivated accent late 19th century as an inflow of British immigrants arrived and the Received Pronunciation became prominent. Then during the First World War, in order to distinguish Australians from the British the accent moved away from cultivated towards broad again which played a significant part in developing the Australian identity. The general accent is the middle ground and is the most popular accent spoken nowadays in Australia by roughly 80 per cent of the population. What would strengthen your response here would be to give examples of public figures who have these accents. This accent is as Bruce Moore describes it, our “bearer of history” and maintains our identity by still sounding undeniably Australian but avoids the negative stigma often associated with the broad accent. The general accent is widely accepted as the standard, you could discuss attitudes - such as avoiding the broad accent because it is 'low-class' and the cultivated because it is seen as 'snobby' and what this says about our identity. And perhaps use media examples to back up your claims, e.g. Columnist Gary Nunn declared that the convergence of the accents is due to 'the rise of the Australian middle class', while linguist Rob Pensalfini puts the blame on globalisation.

An underlying aspect of Australian English is the inventive and spontaneous use of colloquial language particularly in regards to swearing, allowing us to invoke humour and reflect our values of informality and mateship. Australians take pride and show morphological innovation in their use of diminutives such as ‘servo’ for service station and the more taboo word formations such as ‘shit-faced’ for drunk. Dave Hughes demonstrated this bold sense of humour in last year’s Melbourne Comedy Festival when he employed the innovative expletive ‘whoop-de-fucking-do’. Our fondness for such colloquial usage transcends our counterparts in British and American English, which demonstrates the Australian identity and how easy-going and laid-back we are in the way we see humour from irreverent language.  One only has to look at the plethora of idioms used in Australian English to sense our colloquial and humorous personalities. At a recent funeral I attended, the idiomatic expression “even though he’s carked it, he’s still here with us,” was used, showing that even in the most formal and sincere of contexts this characteristic of Australian English is present, therefore and playful colloquial language is therefore an innate characteristic of our identity. You're personal anecdote blends in well, it doesn't seem forced. A good academic reference you could use is Professor Roly Sussex who suggested Australia's tendency to use dysphemism is attributed to our general 'laid-back' quality to social behaviour. You could even discuss how despite the rise in political correctness and sensitivity towards offending others, we still continue to swear more so than other nations. Recent media examples such as Eddie McGuire's 'c-bomb' on live television was shrugged off my the public, demonstrating our identity.

Australia has developed becoming become increasingly multicultural, morphing our national identity to an egalitarian society Improve express e.g. ...reinforcing the egalitarian attitude of our national identity. Waves of immigration entering Australia late in the 20th century brought many different cultures and ethnolects into Australian English. These ethnolects have entrenched themselves into Australian society, deriving many of their linguistic features from the speaker’s first language. One example is the South Asian ethnolect which is characterised by the monophthongisation of the phonemes [oʊ] and [eɪ] to [ɔ:] and [e:] respectively, given that the South Asian languages are devoid of diphthongs Can you give an example of anyone who speaks this way?. These differences mark group boundaries and symbolise identity by differentiating them from other English varieties. As a nation, the numerous accents and ethnolects present help shape the Australian identity as diverse and welcoming of other cultures. Many film-makers fail to recognise how Australian English looks and sounds today and continue to display Australia with the one iconic Australian accent. However, the modern egalitarian identity has been recognised by the Australian community and pleas for a wider array of accents to be represented have been seen. This strongly demonstrates how the large abundance of varieties in Australian English reflects the diverse and multicultural identity of the nation.

Australian English contains its own distinct look and sound. Its unique look regarding lexis, taboo language and idioms reflect the united, relaxed and humorous nature of the Australian identity. The iconic sound of the Australian accent and the myriad of ethnolects hold the essence of Australian history and construct the egalitarian national identity.

Nice work. You consistently refer back to national identity. I would give this essay 12-13/15.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: dannynips on October 14, 2014, 05:28:26 pm

Nice work. You consistently refer back to national identity. I would give this essay 12-13/15.

Okay thanks heaps for that
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: dannynips on October 14, 2014, 05:29:23 pm

Nice work. You consistently refer back to national identity. I would give this essay 12-13/15.

Btw  my teacher (who highly dislikes me) gave me a 10 for this essay :(

(It was a SAC)
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: aqple on October 14, 2014, 05:35:04 pm
Btw  my teacher (who highly dislikes me) gave me a 10 for this essay :(

(It was a SAC)

Did you write exactly the above essay in your SAC?
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: dannynips on October 14, 2014, 05:35:45 pm
Word for word. Full stop for full stop
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: dannynips on October 14, 2014, 05:36:04 pm

Did you write exactly the above essay in your SAC?
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: dannynips on October 14, 2014, 05:48:12 pm

Did you write exactly the above essay in your SAC?

Also thanks heaps for your feedback. I particularly like your wider reading examples
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: aqple on October 14, 2014, 05:48:21 pm
Word for word. Full stop for full stop

I would take your teacher's mark and comments, she goes through all the essays in your class and would have a better idea.

I think what would really improve your essay is to use examples. You focus a bit on the past of Australia, and not contemporary Australia, as implied by the 'today' in the essay question. For example, 'larrikin' is somewhat outdated. Some unique expressions that demonstrate mateship today are 'good on you' and 'no worries'. Good luck  :)
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: sparklingwater on October 14, 2014, 06:30:39 pm
Not a bad essay.

A few quick things:

- It's too short. 600 words is pretty short, especially if it was written un-timed but even if it was written under exam conditions you could probably hit 700-800 at least. Quality>Quantity, true, but I feel like you're limiting yourself in what you can discuss and the complexity of your discussion if it's this short.

- I don't feel like you've addressed the essay topic particularly well. The topic is about attitudes surrounding PC language, as well as its role in contemporary Australian society. You've addressed its role in the first paragraph, and kind of addressed attitudes in your third paragraph by looking at how the one comment can be perceived from different perspectives, but ultimately I feel like there's a lot you more you could've addressed. Attitudes towards political correctness itself for example -- you're basically contending that "political correctness is good" without offering an alternative viewpoint or perspective on the issue. While it is perfectly fine to agree with an essay topic, in a topic that like this that actually wants you to talk about attitudes it is definitely better to look at both sides of the coin.

- Interesting examples, which is good.

But really, just make sure you understand what the topic is arguing and that every single point you bring up is relevant and has a purpose in developing your argumentation.

Thanks for the feedback (: lol, obviously I have a lot to work on in terms of essay :/
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: sparklingwater on October 14, 2014, 06:32:40 pm
Because I'm bored, I'll mark one essay. This isn't going to happen normally so don't hope for it.
Be as brutal as possible? You're going to regret saying that :P

Thank you for the feedback. It's much much much better than what my teacher ever gives. I will take that into account for my future essays (:
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: sparklingwater on October 14, 2014, 08:10:34 pm
Hello again. Would somebody be kind enough to mark my analytical commentary please? It will be highly appreciated!

I really want to improve on my English Language skills but it is hard to do so when my teacher takes 10 years to mark my work and when she does get to them, she only gives one to two sentences of feedback.

The text is Emma Watson's HeForShe speech and I've also attached the text for reference.

The text is a formal speech delivered by United Nations Goodwill ambassador and renowned actress Emma Watson in regards to a human equality campaign titled ‘HeForShe’. The speech was delivered at the United Nations Headquarters in New York on the 20th of September 2014 in front of an audience which consisted of United Nations members. In addition, the speech was broadcast across YouTube and other video-streaming sites with people across the world being able to hear the speech. The purpose of the speech is to promote the HeForShe campaign as well as to raise awareness towards gender inequality while the social purpose is to enforce a sense of social closeness with the audience.

The lexis used in this speech highlights the purpose to promote for awareness regarding the issue of gender inequality. This is done through the use of nouns such as “feminism” (line 7), “woman” (line 23) and “daughter” (line 30), which all belong to the same semantic field of the female gender. As such, it not only creates cohesion through their shared idea of female inequality, but the frequent use is also vital to highlighting the stereotypical roles that women are expected to play in society, specifically, a mother and childbearer which is conveyed through the connotations that these lexemes hold. Men inequality is also stressed upon through the use of nouns such as “young men” (line 47) and “sons” (line 61) which belong to the semantic field of the male gender. This specifically targets the male component of the audience to view that gender inequality is, despite stereotypical views, a serious issues that also concerns them. By using lexis from both the semantic fields of the female gender and male gender, it enables both the female and male from the audience to see how gender inequality is a social problem that affects them and their future generations. In addition, it supports the purpose because the use of such lexis continually links back to the theme for the speech.

Furthermore, the use of pronouns plays a very important role in addressing the social purpose. Watson makes repetitive use of the first person singular subject pronoun “I” such as when she says “I am from Britain and think it is right” (line 23) and “I’ve seen my father’s role as a parent” (line 45) which creates for the audience that Watson being is an ordinary global citizen like them. It therefore exemplifies social closeness with the audience as they are able to feel as they know Watson personally through their shared identity as a global citizen.  As such, when she goes on to say “All I know is I care about this problem. And I want to make it better” (line 65), the audience is compelled to view that if she can take a stance against this issue, they can also do the same. While the speech is quite the formal, the use of this pronoun does not decrease the formality because it aids Watson to develop her storytelling of her experience in regards to gender inequality. Watson also makes use of the second personal plural pronoun “you”, such as when she says “If you believe in equality, you might be one of those inadvertent feminists I spoke of earlier” (line 76), allowing her to provoke the audience to see the seriousness about this issue and pass to them the responsibility to make a change to gender inequality.

The syntax used reflects the formal register of this speech. Watson uses the parallelism “When at 14… When at 15… When at 18…” (lines 14-17), which is sophisticated in tone, creating a cohesion of ideas in that regardless of age, gender inequality affects everyone in society. It is also fronted in nature, further highlighting how age is not resistant to gender discrimination. Furthermore, formality can also be seen with the parallel, compound sentences “My life is a sheer privilege because my parents didn’t love me less” (lines 29-30), “My school did not limit me because I was a girl” (lines 30-31) and “My mentors didn’t assume I would go less far because I might give birth to a child one day” (lines 31-22) which shows careful planning and editing. In addition to being parallel and compound, the previously mentioned sentences are also end-weight, with the focus being about how she was not treated less fairly because of her gender as a female. This focus then leads her to say “These influencers were the gender equality ambassadors that made me who I am today” (lines 31-32) which indicates the aforementioned sentences belong together as the pronoun “there” is an anaphoric reference referring to the influencers that she spoke of earlier.

The discourse features play a very important role in addressing the mode and register of the text. Towards the end of the speech, Watson says “If we stop defining each other… and this is what HeForShe is about” (lines 58-59), which pushes forth the plans and changes for the future, which is a typical convention of speeches. Furthermore, through the use of the subordinating conjunction “if”, it binds the entire speech together as it elicits as “maybe” feeling for the future as opposed the certain sense that was previously evoked with the mention of events that had already happen and cannot be changed.
Title: Re: Eng Lang Essay: "Standard English is an oxymoron". Feedback Please!
Post by: Robert123 on October 20, 2014, 07:49:47 pm
Analytical commentary of text 4 from VCAA English Language (Specification and sample) at
http://www.google.com.au/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CCIQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.vcaa.vic.edu.au%2Fdocuments%2Fexams%2Fenglishlanguage%2Feng-lang-samp.pdf&ei=yMtEVMnEGcGD8gXHj4DYCg&usg=AFQjCNEmiwqta6Khk69sZwhjSAjG5zZZ9Q&sig2=6jbm7hfjGBdJf9deF75tcg

Spoiler
This text is a formal speech given by a student in a public speaking competition. Its social purpose is to motivate and encourage the audience at the premier’s building, to buy Australian produce through the use of a myriad of persuasive devices.
To commence his speech, S utilises the interrogative, “Why should we buy Australian?” (1). By using this topic management tool, it complements the texts overall coherence by introducing the audience straight to the issue at hand, buying Australian products. Before answering this question, he continues with a discussion of the current situation our country is in. In doing so, he incorporates the similie “That’s like… more than half the cup” (6-7) to explain the current value of the Australian dollar in laymen’s terms.  This further builds his case of persuading his audience into buying Australian product which is then preceded by his first main argument, “If we buy Australian, our farmers, our land and our economy will be resurrected” (17-19). In doing so, it incorporates some unusual linguistic features that are strategically utilised to aid the social purpose of persuasion. This includes the use of parallelism to link three consecutive issues to one solution; fronting to place emphasis on “our farmers, our land and our economy”; repetition of the first plural possessive pronoun “our” to show that it is an issue for everyone, and the use of the modal verb “will” to indicate intent.
S continues his speech by cohesively linking buying Australian products to providing opportunity to Australian. He does this by discussing several, proud Australian products such as the Hills Hoist, penicillin, the retractable syringe, meat industry, and the wine industry. This evidence he provided further develops his argument thereby aiding the social purpose of persuading the audience to “Buy Australian” (92). This repeated imperative acts as a cohesive tie by linking his arguments together to the social purpose as well as instructing the audience in go buy Australian products.
Given that the speech is trying to persuade its audience into buying Australian products by linking that notion to Australian values, it features many lexemes regarding the current Australian society. This include jargon from the semantic field of economy such as “Australian businesses” (26), “exporting overseas” (28), “The Australian dollar” (4) and “industry” (85). These lexemes adds credibility to his argument by showing that he has thoroughly research the issue which in turns support the social purpose of this text. In contrast, Australian colloquial language such as “hard yakka” (76), “helping hand” (76) and “back on their feet” (10) are utilised to link his argument to values of our nation, once again building upon the social purpose of this speech.  Adjectives such as “remarkable” (35), “huge” (62), “worst” (2) and horrendous (3) are also frequently used throughout the text to allow the audience to create a vivid image of the ideas presented to them. This effect compels them to show their support to S speech thereby aiding the social purpose of persuading them into buying Australian products.
Since this text is obviously well rehearsed and scripted, there is a distinct lack of non-fluency for the entire text. This demonstrates that S was well prepared for his speech which in turn, point towards the context of this text, that is, a public speaking competition. Absence of non-fluency features also aids the social purpose of this text by demonstrating expertise and comfort in this topic which adds credibility and gravitas to the text.
 S also manipulates his prosodic features to add emotion and excitement to the text while allowing clarity in his speech. In line 1 (“Why should we (.) buy (.) Australian(…)), he uses short pauses create a dramatic effect in his interrogative, and a long pause to allow the audience time to contemplate the question. In line 19 (“Will be resurrected”), he emphatically emphasis “will” to stress the intent of the restoration of our society if we buy Australian products. Furthermore, he incorporate stress and prolongated sounds on line 47 and 48 (…mill:::ion… mill::ion) to indicate the huge benefit Australian products have on our society. This once again complements the social purpose of this text by highlighting the necessity of supporting Australian products for our society.


Any critical feedback is welcome
Title: Re: Eng Lang Essay: "Standard English is an oxymoron". Feedback Please!
Post by: psyxwar on October 20, 2014, 10:01:07 pm
This text is a formal speech given by a student in a public speaking competition. Its social purpose is to motivate and encourage the audience at the premier’s building, to buy Australian produce through the use of a myriad of persuasive devices. Sure, but you've missed that it's a public speaking competition. He's speaking to WIN the competition, and thus wants to portray himself as a capable public speaker

To commence his speech, S utilises the interrogative, “Why should we buy Australian?” (1). By using this topic management tool, it complements the texts overall coherence by introducing the audience straight to the issue at hand, buying Australian products. Before answering this question, he continues with a discussion of the current situation our country is in. In doing so, he incorporates the similie “That’s like… more than half the cup” (6-7) to explain the current value of the Australian dollar in laymen’s terms.  This further builds his case of persuading his audience into buying Australian product which is then preceded by his first main argument, “If we buy Australian, our farmers, our land and our economy will be resurrected” (17-19). How does it do this?In doing so, it incorporates some unusual linguistic features that are strategically utilised to aid the social purpose of persuasion. This includes the use of parallelism to link three consecutive issues to one solution; fronting to place emphasis on “our farmers, our land and our economy” cite line numbers; repetition of the first plural possessive pronoun “our” to show that it is an issue for everyone, and the use of the modal verb “will” to indicate intent.Intent for what? Analyse it in context; this sounds like you're just rattling off a definition of what "will" does.

S continues his speech by cohesively linking buying Australian products to providing opportunity to Australian. He does this by discussing several, proud Australian products such as the Hills Hoist, penicillin, the retractable syringe, meat industry, and the wine industry. Where does he say this? What is "Hills Hoist" for example?This evidence he provided further develops his argument thereby aiding the social purpose of persuading the audience to “Buy Australian” (92). This repeated imperative make sure its explicit you're referring to "Buy Australian" here. I'm also not sure why you chose to put this here, try and have a bit more structure in your commentaries. You sort of start of analysing it chronologically but then move onto lexis. You'd be better off just having a single paragraph on say, topic management or discourseacts as a cohesive tie by linking his arguments together to the social purpose as well as instructing the audience in go buy Australian products.

Given that the speech is trying to persuade its audience into buying Australian products by linking that notion to Australian values, it features many lexemes regarding the current Australian society. This include jargon from the semantic field of economy such as “Australian businesses” (26), “exporting overseas” (28), “The Australian dollar” (4) and “industry” (85). These lexemes adds credibility to his argument by showing that he has thoroughly research the issue which in turns support the social purpose of this text Well, not really. It certainly adds an air of credibility but this isn't necessarily because he researched anything. His use of the statistic regarding the Australian dollar however is definitely something you could talk about with respect to researching the issue. In contrast, Australian colloquial language such as “hard yakka” (76), “helping hand” (76) and “back on their feet” (10) are utilised to link his argument to values of our nation what values?, once again building upon the social purpose of this speech.  Adjectives such as “remarkable” (35), “huge” (62), “worst” (2) and horrendous (3) are also frequently used throughout the text to allow the audience to create a vivid image of the ideas presented to them what of the connotations of some of these adjectives? look at them in context; what are they accomplishing? for example, "we are in the middle of Australia's worst drought ever": here the superlative adjective "worst" underscores the severity of the drought that Australia is experiencing, and this helps set the stage for the speech; one where 'buying Australian' is painted as way for Australia to 'get back on our feet' despite these hardships -> this makes his argument more persuasive by providing a 'problem' which 'buying Australian' solves. This effect compels them to show their support to S speech thereby aiding the social purpose of persuading them into buying Australian products.

Since this text is obviously well rehearsed and scripted, there is a distinct lack of non-fluency for the entire text. This demonstrates that S was well prepared for his speech which in turn, point towards the context of this text, that is, a public speaking competition. Absence of non-fluency features also aids the social purpose of this text by demonstrating expertise and comfort in this topic which adds credibility and gravitas to the text. I'm not a huge fan of looking at what isn't there; there are definitely features indicative of the speech's planned nature that are present that you can analyse.

S also manipulates his prosodic features to add emotion and excitement to the text while allowing clarity in his speech. In line 1 (“Why should we (.) buy (.) Australian(…)), he uses short pauses create a dramatic effect in his interrogative slight nitpick, but this isn't prosody, and a long pause to allow the audience time to contemplate the question. In line 19 (“Will be resurrected”), he emphatically emphasis redundant and sounds bad, just go for 'emphasise' “will” to stress the intent of the restoration of our society if we buy Australian products I don't think this has to do with intent, rather 'will' is used to show certainty and confidence that this so called 'restoration of our society' is a consequence of 'buying Australian'. Furthermore, he incorporate stress and prolongated sounds on line 47 and 48 (…mill:::ion… mill::ion) to indicate the huge benefit Australian products have on our society. This once again complements the social purpose of this text by highlighting the necessity of supporting Australian products for our society.

Not a bad analysis, but I feel as if it's too shallow. You are covering a lot of breadth though, which is a plus.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: psyxwar on October 21, 2014, 07:25:06 pm
Hello again. Would somebody be kind enough to mark my analytical commentary please? It will be highly appreciated!

I really want to improve on my English Language skills but it is hard to do so when my teacher takes 10 years to mark my work and when she does get to them, she only gives one to two sentences of feedback.

The text is Emma Watson's HeForShe speech and I've also attached the text for reference.

The text is a formal speech delivered by United Nations Goodwill ambassador and renowned actress Emma Watson in regards to a human equality campaign titled ‘HeForShe’. The speech was delivered at the United Nations Headquarters in New York on the 20th of September 2014 in front of an audience which consisted of United Nations members. In addition, the speech was broadcast across YouTube and other video-streaming sites with people across the world being able to hear the speech. The purpose of the speech is to promote the HeForShe campaign as well as to raise awareness towards gender inequality while the social purpose is to enforce a sense of social closeness with the audience.  not sure if I agree with this social purpose bit. I think the speech does create closeness with the audience, but this is for the sake of achieving her broader purpose of promoting HeForShe/ feminism, rather than the other way around. I also think rather than just say 'promoting the HeForShe movement' you should mention the significance of promoting this -- specifically, in trying to end gender equality and trying to both raise awareness of gender inequality as a pervasive issue in today's society and in trying to mobilise males around the world to join in the feminist movement

The lexis used in this speech highlights the purpose to promote for awareness regarding the issue of gender inequality. This is done through the use of nouns such as “feminism” (line 7), “woman” (line 23) and “daughter” (line 30), which all belong to the same semantic field of the female gender. As such, it not only creates cohesion through their shared idea of female inequality, but the frequent use is also vital to highlighting the stereotypical roles that women are expected to play in society, specifically, a mother and childbearer which is conveyed through the connotations that these lexemes hold what connotations? I'm not sure what you're getting at here; do you mean denotations? either way I don't see the point you're trying to make. Men inequality Male inequality? is also stressed upon through the use of nouns such as “young men” (line 47) and “sons” (line 61) which belong to the semantic field of the male gender. This specifically targets the male component of the audience to view that gender inequality is, despite stereotypical views, a serious issues that also concerns them. By using lexis from both the semantic fields of the female gender and male gender, it enables both the female and male from the audience to see how gender inequality is a social problem that affects them and their future generations. Good.In addition, it supports the purpose because the use of such lexis continually links back to the theme for the speech. I do not think hyponymy of the semantic fields of 'male' and 'female' is that strong of a point in supporting the social purpose. It definitely has a role to play, and you can definitely analyse it, but you want to be analysing it in tandem with other evidence because the hypoynms themselves don't have that much of an impact towards the social purpose.

Furthermore, the use of pronouns plays a very important role in addressing the social purpose. Watson makes repetitive use of the first person singular subject pronoun “I” good MLsuch as when she says “I am from Britain and think it is right” (line 23) and “I’ve seen my father’s role as a parent” (line 45) which creates for the audience the feelingthat Watson being is an ordinary global citizen like them. It therefore exemplifies reinforces, she is creating this closeness, it is not already theresocial closeness with the audience as they are able to feel as they know Watson personally through their shared identity as a global citizen. Explanation is a bit questionable; "through their shared identity as a global citizen"? Everybody is a global citizen after all. Maybe something like it helps to personalise the address -- using a first person pronoun such as "I" inherently makes her argument more real and compelling after all, because they stem from personal experience. This in turn lowers the social distance between Watson and her audience -- particularly to those watching her speech on the internet -- because it characterises her as a fellow human being who has experienced hardships just like the audience, rather than some famous actress who they'll probably never meet. As such, when she goes on to say “All I know is I care about this problem. And I want to make it better” (line 65), the audience is compelled to view that if she can take a stance against this issue, they can also do the same. Yup!While the speech is quite the formal, the use of this pronoun does not decrease the formality because it aids Watson to develop her storytelling of her experience in regards to gender inequality. Watson also makes use of the second personal plural pronoun “you”, such as when she says “If you believe in equality, you might be one of those inadvertent feminists I spoke of earlier” (line 76), allowing her to provoke the audience to see the seriousness about this issue and pass to them the responsibility to make a change to gender inequality. I think 'you' does more than just this. "You" also personalises the speech, making the audience feel like they are being addressed as an individual. For example "men, I extend your invitation" -- male viewers feel as if they are themselves being invited and that their own contribution matter, which in turn encourages them to join in the fight against gender inequality supporting the text's social purpose

The syntax used reflects the formal register of this speech. Watson uses the parallelism “When at 14… When at 15… When at 18…” (lines 14-17), which is sophisticated in tone, creating a cohesion of ideas in that regardless of age, gender inequality affects everyone in society.Good! It is also fronted in nature, further highlighting how age is not resistant to gender discrimination. Furthermore, formality can also be seen with the parallel, compound sentences “My life is a sheer privilege because my parents didn’t love me less” (lines 29-30), “My school did not limit me because I was a girl” (lines 30-31) and “My mentors didn’t assume I would go less far because I might give birth to a child one day” (lines 31-22) Good that you're referencing so many examples from the text, but honestly it's probably a waste of time to cite so many. Remember you only have 45 minutes to write this, and examiners are interested in your analysis. Spending too much time transcribing examples is using up valuable timewhich shows careful planning and editing. In addition to being parallel and compound, the previously mentioned sentences are also end-weight, with the focus being about how she was not treated less fairly because of her gender as a female. Yes, but what is the significance of it being end weight?This focus then leads her to say “These influencers were the gender equality ambassadors that made me who I am today” (lines 31-32) which indicates the aforementioned sentences belong together as the pronoun “there” is an anaphoric reference referring to the influencers that she spoke of earlier.

The discourse features play a very important role in addressing the mode and register of the text. Towards the end of the speech, Watson says “If we stop defining each other… and this is what HeForShe is about” (lines 58-59), which pushes forth the plans and changes for the future, which is a typical convention of speeches. Furthermore, through the use of the subordinating conjunction “if”, it binds the entire speech together as it elicits as “maybe” feeling for the future as opposed the certain sense that was previously evoked with the mention of events that had already happen and cannot be changed. I'm not convinced that it binds the whole speech together
feedback in red!
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: sparklingwater on October 21, 2014, 10:45:20 pm
feedback in red!

Thank you so much for the feedback! (: Good luck for the upcoming exams!
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Reus on October 22, 2014, 12:16:32 am
I did on on Watson about a week ago *shmoney dance LOL
If anyone can give me feedback or tips, please do! Thanks.  :)

UN’s Women Goodwill Ambassador Emma Watson delivered a formal speech at United Nations Headquarters, New York on the 20th of September 2014. Watson’s speech, in a formal tone regarded the launch of the human equality campaign ‘HeForShe’ targeting the audience of UN member state representatives present. Additionally the speech was recorded and broadcasted on video streaming platforms such as YouTube where the audience extends to all people across the globe. The surrounding context, being a UN summit facilitates the formal register expected. The renowned actor’s purpose is the promotion of the HeForShe campaign as well as to raise awareness towards the ethical issue of gender inequality.

Watson’s use of lexis reflects the formality and purpose of the speech. Lexemes pertaining to the lexical field of politics, (being a UN summit) for example “campaign” (line 4), “economic” (line 11) and “feminism” (line 10) allow Watson to express her expertise. This exemplified expertise leads to credibility and formality, thus supporting the function of the text. Furthermore the employment of nouns such as “feminism” (line 7), “woman” (line 23) and “daughter” (line 30), which all are hyponyms of the female sex or even “young men” (line 47) and “sons” (line 61) which belong to the semantic field of the male sex create cohesion for listeners. In doing so, Watson has targeted every age and form of gender specifically implying that they all are affected by gender inequality. The varied use of different nouns – especially ‘son’ and ‘daughter’ to describe the gender inequality add a sense of vulnerability and innocence where, the audience is expected to uphold morals and act upon the issue.

The stylistic feature of morphological patterning is employed throughout the speech. Nominalisation, the process in which the use of a verb, adjective or an adverb is transformed into a noun is apparent in Watson’s speech. For example as seen in line 12 “assumptions – to assume”, “expressions – to express” (line 20), “conversation – to converse” (line 42) and “invitation – to invite” (line 43) all serve to assist Watson in achieving her purpose. These cases of nominalisations elevate the sophistication of Watson’s lexicon, as they are predominant features of legal and authoritative documents. As a result, the emphatic message presented is conducted in a credible and formal manner as expected at the UN headquarters.

Syntactic patterning present throughout the text helps Watson to achieve her purpose. In lines 23 to 25 the actor repeats the phrase “I think it is right” four times in order to get her message through as repetition is a unique tool to get the listeners attention. In the same phrase the personal pronoun “I” or also in “I’ve seen my father’s role as a parent” (line 45) reduces the social distance between participants and demonstrates Watson’s direct view on the issue of gender inequality. This certainty and confidence Watson portrays by using “I” gives her authority, which influences the thoughts of the audience as declaratives exert professionalism. Watson uses the parallelism “When at 14… When at 15… When at 18…” (lines 14-17), which is personal in tone, reducing the social distance and also creating a cohesion of ideas. This example of parallelism emphasizes that at any age, one can experience gender inequality thus raising awareness. Moreover parallelism is evident in lines 67- 68 for example “All that is needed for the forces of evil to triumph is for enough good men and women to do nothing.” This functions as a scheme, which asserts the importance of the issue as it displays the negative consequences, if ignored. By employing these features, Watson not only assures the good will of HeForShe but also raises awareness.

Overall, Watson’s speech reaches a high level of cohesion and coherence. Discourse features such as anaphoric referencing, information flow and hyponyms allow this text to be highly cohesive. For instance the anaphoric referencing of her past experiences mentioned in lines 29 to 31 as “These influencers” (line 32) and the front focus of “When at 14 …” (line 14) or “If you believe in equality,” (line 76) act as cohesive techniques which establish an organised speech and logical ordering. Furthermore Watson’s epigrammatic statement of “You might be thinking who is this Harry Potter girl?” (line 63) adds humour to her speech in which the audience is kept captivated and attentive. Finally the actor’s structured sentence types and laconic greeting and “Thank you.” allow the speech to become coherent.

Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: psyxwar on October 22, 2014, 11:28:48 pm
I did on on Watson about a week ago *shmoney dance LOL
If anyone can give me feedback or tips, please do! Thanks.  :)

UN’s Women Goodwill Ambassador Emma Watson delivered a formal speech at United Nations Headquarters, New York on the 20th of September 2014. Watson’s speech, in a formal tone regardedwas about the launch of the human equality campaign ‘HeForShe’, targeting the audience of UN member state representatives present. Additionally the speech was recorded and broadcasted on video streaming platforms such as YouTube where the audience extends to all people across the globe. The surrounding context, being a UN summit facilitates the formal register expected. The renowned actor’s purpose is the promotion of the HeForShe campaign as well as to raise awareness towards the ethical issue of gender inequality. More than just raising awareness, she is also trying to drive social change. Your sentences don't read very well; commas are placed in the wrong spots. However it is otherwise a pretty solid intro

Watson’s use of lexis reflects the formality and purpose of the speech. Lexemes pertaining to the lexical field of politics, (being a UN summit) for example “campaign” (line 4), “economic” (line 11) and “feminism” (line 10) allow Watson to express her expertiseI don't see how these are really under the semantic field of politics. Supporting her expertise is also a pretty vague and generic thing to say; her expertise regarding what? How? I hardly think using words such as "campaign" and "economic" paints Watson as credible; these are pretty much everyday words. This exemplified expertise leads to credibility and formality, thus supporting the function of the text. Furthermore the employment of nouns such as “feminism” (line 7), “woman” (line 23) and “daughter” (line 30), which all are hyponyms of the female sex or even “young men” (line 47) and “sons” (line 61) which belong to the semantic field of the male sex create cohesion for listeners. In doing so, Watson has targeted every age and form of gender specifically implying that they all are affected by gender inequality. Good pointThe varied use of different nouns – especially ‘son’ and ‘daughter’ to describe the gender inequality add a sense of vulnerability and innocence where, the audience is expected to uphold morals and act upon the issue. Interesting point, but this needs more elaboration. Flesh this out a bit more; how does it add this sense of vulnerability and innocence?

The stylistic feature of morphological patterning is employed throughout the speech. Nominalisation Nominalisation is more of a syntactic feature, the process in which the use of a verb, adjective or an adverb is transformed into a noun you don't need to define it is apparent in Watson’s speech. For example as seen in line 12 “assumptions – to assume”, “expressions – to express” (line 20), “conversation – to converse” (line 42) and “invitation – to invite” (line 43) only quote what is actually from the text; if you want to give the unnominalised form put it in brackets, as in "invitations" (to invite) (line 43). all serve to assist Watson in achieving her purpose. These cases of nominalisations elevate the sophistication of Watson’s lexicon, as they are predominant features of legal and authoritative documents. As a result, the emphatic message presented is conducted in a credible and formal manner as expected at the UN headquarters. this could've just been combined into your syntax paragraph.

Syntactic patterning present throughout the text helps Watson to achieve her purpose again, nominalisation is actually listed under syntactic patterning. In lines 23 to 25 the actor repeats the phrase “I think it is right” four times in order to get her message through as repetition is a unique tool to get the listeners attention. this is actually parallelism In the same phrase the personal pronoun “I” or also in “I’ve seen my father’s role as a parent” (line 45) reduces the social distance between participants and demonstrates Watson’s direct view on the issue of gender inequality. This certainty and confidence Watson portrays by using “I” gives her authority, which influences the thoughts of the audience as declaratives exert professionalism. where did it being a declarative come from? it just seems you tacked this on at the end; it's not really an explanation or relevant to why "I" gives her authorityWatson uses the parallelism “When at 14… When at 15… When at 18…” (lines 14-17), which is personal in tone, reducing the social distance and also creating a cohesion of ideas. This example of parallelism emphasizes that at any age, one can experience gender inequality thus raising awareness. Good.Moreover parallelism is evident in lines 67- 68 for example “All that is needed for the forces of evil to triumph is for enough good men and women to do nothing.” I'm not sure how this is parallelism?This functions as a schemea scheme?, which asserts the importance of the issue as it displays the negative consequences, if ignored. By employing these features, Watson not only assures the good will of HeForShe but also raises awareness. I'd recommend having a read through the VCAA Metalanguage list for a quick refresher as to what falls under what.

Overall, Watson’s speech reaches a high level of cohesion and coherence. Discourse features such as anaphoric referencing, information flow and hyponyms allow this text to be highly cohesive.okay you can't just mention stuff like 'information flow' then never cover it. I wouldn't even have this sentence here; just go straight into talking about anaphora For instance the anaphoric referencing of her past experiences mentioned in lines 29 to 31 as “These influencers” (line 32) and the front focus of “When at 14 …” (line 14) or “If you believe in equality,” (line 76) act as cohesive techniques which establish an organised speech and logical ordering. Furthermore Watson’s epigrammatic statement of “You might be thinking who is this Harry Potter girl?” (line 63) adds humour to her speech in which the audience is kept captivated and attentive. Why is this relevant to coherence and cohesion? Is it relevant to coherence and cohesion? Finally the actor’s structured sentence types and laconic greeting and “Thank you.” allow the speech to become coherent. How?



You're writing a good amount, but some of it seems to be fluff; definitions of metalanguage and things like 'renowned actor' don't really add much to the analysis and just take up time. Discourse paragraph was quite weak, but you do reference discourse throughout the commentary in terms of cohesion so that's a plus.

Keep it up!
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Reus on October 25, 2014, 10:44:26 am
You're writing a good amount, but some of it seems to be fluff; definitions of metalanguage and things like 'renowned actor' don't really add much to the analysis and just take up time. Discourse paragraph was quite weak, but you do reference discourse throughout the commentary in terms of cohesion so that's a plus.

Keep it up!
Thanks so much!  :)
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: apreslapluie on October 28, 2014, 12:38:11 am
Hi everyone, it's a bit late to be new here but if anyone could be kind enough to look over my commentary (and give it some kind of grade), that'd be wonderful!
Edited after writing it under timed conditions. Text attached (it's from Engage, has occasionally painful spelling)

Thanks  :)

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Text 3 is a transcript of a conversation between American teenage producer Porter Robinson and Melburnian television presenter Marty. It is a highly informal interview that primarily serves a referential function to inform Australian teenage music fans about Porter’s career and inspiration. Its secondary purpose is to promote Porter as a musician and enhance his image. Porter is the dominant speaker in the conversation as he is the interviewee.

The prosodic features within the text are typical of a spontaneous television interview. Porter’s speech is replete with non-fluency features, including pause fillers like “umm” (16, 51), false starts, “it was- I’ve never” (50), and repetition, “It’s-it’s” (58). These features indicate the unscripted nature of Porter’s speech and allow him the opportunity to construct his thoughts and self-correct. Nonetheless, his speech has some elements of a scripted response, likely a result of his desire to promote himself as professional musician by delivering confident and fluent pre-prepared responses. This is illustrated in his articulation of his gratefulness towards his fans in “I’ve never been...tastes” (50-53), which lacks the frequency of non-fluency features present in the rest of his speech. Marty’s speech displays features of preparation as well, in alignment with his role as a television presenter expected to open, close, and direct the conversation. His formulaic closing “This has...Channel V/” (105) includes reduced pace when articulating “<L Porter Robinson L>”, in keeping with the convention of dramatic emphasis on the interviewee’s name during the closing sequence of radio or television interviews. Marty also employs numerous utterance-final rising intonations to indicate interrogatives, “Did you...video?” (23-24), as well as High Rising Terminals, as in “...Channel V/” (105), in order to invite Porter to take the floor and respond, fulfilling his role as the host.

The conversational strategies employed in the text are indicative of the roles and relationship in the conversation. As the subject of the interview, Porter is the dominant speaker, and Marty supports this allocation of roles by employing backchannelling minimal responses, such as “[yeah]” (27, 35) and [yep]” (42). This encourages Porter to speak more by enhancing his positive face needs as he is being attentively listened to by Marty. The interviewer-interviewee relationship is also supported by the high consideration conversational style maintained through the text. There are no interruptive or competitive overlaps as Marty waits for Porter to indicate he has ended his response with final intonations such as “...I really liked it.” (43) and “...thrilled by it.” (65). Marty then takes and returns the floor by initiating question-answer adjacency pairs, as in “did you...reception/” (44-49), allowing Porter to continue speaking by completing them. Adjacency pairs allow Marty to steer the conversation too by introducing topic changes in his initiating utterance, such as “Is there...moment?” (67-69), both supporting his role as a host and the referential function of the discourse by providing viewers with more information about Porter.

The social purposes of the text are served by the stylistic features and register of the interview as well. Syntactically, the use of declaratives, like “I did one last March” (15) and “I didn’t expect...it” (65), allows for efficient delivery of information to the audience about Porter’s opinions. The active voice, as in “...my age...gave me...advantages” (70-71) is used consistently to make Porter’s speech more direct and accessible to the viewers, supporting the informative purpose of the text as well. Porter employs the informal discourse particle “like” throughout the text, both as a hedging device, “I did like a small...tour” (12), and as an indicator of reported speech “I...was like” (103). Not only does it maintain the informal register, it also indexes his identity as a teenager, as it is a lexeme used most typically by teenagers in everyday discourse. This serves the secondary function of the text to enhance his image with the teenage audience by emphasising the shared social identity between him and them, making him seem more relatable. Reinforcing this notion is his use of the inclusive third-person personal pronoun “we” (77) to encompass himself within the same group as “high school kids” (76), his intended audience and fanbase. Alongside his reference to popular social networking website "Instagram" (38), Porter’s lexicology increases his social currency with prospective fans. By enhancing his image as such, he can ultimately enlarge his fanbase and thus increase his popularity and income as well.
Title: Re: Eng Lang Essay: "Standard English is an oxymoron". Feedback Please!
Post by: Robert123 on October 29, 2014, 08:33:45 pm
Here is a weak attempt at a section C essay, haha.  Any feedback and ideas for improvement is welcome. Cheers


Language can both establish a sense of solidarity and belonging as well as reinforce social distance and authority. How is this true in the current Australian context?

Spoiler
Language can both establish a sense of solidarity and belonging as well as reinforce social distance and authority. How is this true in the current Australian context?
Language can serve a myriad of indirect functions which are important in our current Australian context. Our identity as individuals, groups and as a nation is publicly expressed by our language choices. In doing so, it also create a sense of solidarity and belonging while also forming a sense of alienation and power to certain groups. This is evidently seen by members of authority who manipulate their language to reinforce social distance, such as in political speak. Furthermore, Australian English allows our country to portray a distinct national identity, creating a national sense of belong. In a similar manner, minority groups, such as ethnic and social groups, can use language to create a unique identity which in turn, reinforces solidarity.
To express their group identity, many social and ethnic groups make deliberate language choices to differentiate themselves from society. By doing so, it allows them to earn covert prestige within the ‘in-group’, resulting in the reinforcement of group solidarity. Users of teenspeak clearly illustrate this notion through their deliberate language choice. This is evident by their use of the elongated vowel sound in the adverb “so” for further emphasis as well as their frequent use of colloquial slang such as “soz” (sorry), “shweet” (intensifier for “sweet”) ,“cool” and a diminutive “selfie”. These language choices also demonstrate the value of being informal and easy going among teenagers which thus create intimacy between the users and thusly, a sense of belonging. Another social group that demonstrate the phenomena of the relationship between language and group identity is the online community known as speed cubers. These ‘cubers’, utilised jargon that is related to twisting puzzles such as the initialisms “OLL” (orientation of last layer) and “PLL” (Permutation of last layer), to show that they have similar knowledge in this unusual field of solving Rubik’s cube which create a strong connection between each of the members, again, demonstrating how language can develop rapport between individuals. Ethnic groups also acquire the use of non-standard language to allow them to integrate into contemporary society while maintaining their ethnical identity. In doing so, they create a new dialect that combines elements of both their native and new language which are referred to as ethnolects.  This is observed by the linguistic innovations of the ethnolect; Greek Australian English which contains a distinct lack of prepositions as evident by the phrase “come my house” (come to my house) as well as the use of epenthesis in their utterance such as the addition of the inflectional plural suffix ‘-s’ to form the non-standard, second person plural pronoun, ‘youse’. These non-standard language choice acts as a distinguishing marker of their social identity while displaying their unique culture and heritage which in turn, earn the user cover prestige among that speech community. All of these conscious, language choices made reiterate the value of language in earning fellowship among minority group.
Australian English has constantly been evolving to “… meet the social and psychological needs of [its] users” (Crystal) and in doing so, reflect our contemporary national identity. This unique dialect of English plays a quintessential role in uniting members of our society together in both troubled and peaceful times. Former Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, utilised the ability language has to bond our nation together by specifically incorporated a broad accent in her press conference that followed the tragic floods in question. Having this more stereotypical, Australian accent, it allow her to create a sense of unity for all Australians who were in distress and thus illustrate the power of Australian English in our society. This is again evident by Australian’s frequent use of the high rising terminal in our speech as well as our use of diminutives such as ‘g’ (Melbourne Cricket Grounds), “shep” (Shepparton), “brissy” (Brisbane), “uni” (university) and “bloody”. These unique features are “important indicator of ‘Australianness’ and of cultural values” (Burridge) such as friendliness, informality, laid-backness and mateship which shows the importance of language in our nation. In doing so, it illustrates how users can earn overt prestige in our society, allowing them to reaffirm their identity of being Australian and thus, develop a sense of belonging within our nation.
Even though language plays a key component in establishing identity as individuals and groups, it can also be manipulated so that it can be used to earn power in our society while alienating others. Both political language and political correct language provides evidence to this as they obfuscated and users can put their own individual desires in their language. The asylum seeker issue in our society has brought to light many examples that illustrate this. Titles such as “illegals” and “queue jumpers” which are frequently used by the press, has demonised these people and thus, separating them from the rest of our society. Furthermore, the politically correct noun, “homosexual”, has alienated that sexual orientation group from society by making their sexuality appear as a disorder, when compare to the more vernacular noun phrase, “gay people”. In doing so, it has resulted in the promotion of social distance between them and the rest of society and has thus, illustrate the subtle power language has in our society.
Language use is a two edged-sword when it comes to building relationship between different members in our society. On one hand, it can be used by minority groups to create a group identity that allows the members the privilege of earning an illusion of solidarity and belonging. This notion is again emphasis by how Australian English can empower our nation in creating proud, national identity that allows it user to connect through its unique features. On the other hand, language can also alienate individuals and groups while establish a hierarchy in relationship in our society. All of these subtle, yet important functions of language demonstrates the power it has.



Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: aqple on October 29, 2014, 11:02:45 pm
Hi everyone, it's a bit late to be new here but if anyone could be kind enough to look over my commentary (and give it some kind of grade), that'd be wonderful!
Edited after writing it under timed conditions. Text attached (it's from Engage, has occasionally painful spelling)

Thanks  :)

---

Text 3 is a transcript of a conversation between American teenage producer Porter Robinson and Melburnian television presenter Marty. It is a highly informal interview that primarily serves a referential function to inform Australian teenage music fans about Porter’s career and inspiration. Its secondary purpose is to promote Porter as a musician and enhance his image. Porter is the dominant speaker in the conversation as he is the interviewee. You should talk more about the context, such as the fact that it's for Channel V and the audience it targets, otherwise, good intro  :)

The prosodic features within the text are typical of a spontaneous television interview. Porter’s speech is replete with non-fluency features, including pause fillers like “umm” (16, 51), false starts, “it was- I’ve never” (50), and repetition, “It’s-it’s” (58). These features indicate the unscripted nature of Porter’s speech and allow him the opportunity to construct his thoughts and self-correct. Nonetheless, his speech has some elements of a scripted response, likely a result of his desire to promote himself as professional musician by delivering confident and fluent pre-prepared responses. This is illustrated in his articulation of his gratefulness towards his fans in “I’ve never been...tastes” (50-53), which lacks the frequency of non-fluency  features Fluency of non-fluency features? Reword this present in the rest of his speech. Marty’s speech displays features of preparation as well, in alignment with his role as a television presenter expected to open, close, and direct the conversation. His formulaic closing “This has...Channel V/” (105) includes reduced pace when articulating “<L Porter Robinson L>”, in keeping with the convention of dramatic emphasis on the interviewee’s name during the closing sequence of radio or television interviews. Why exactly does he do this? Marty also employs numerous utterance-final rising intonations to indicate interrogatives, “Did you...video?” (23-24), as well as High Rising Terminals, as in “...Channel V/” (105), in order to invite Porter to take the floor and respond, Promotes cooperation and friendliness fulfilling his role as the host. You could develop more on why these prosodic features appear, e.g. you could describe how non-fluency features support the informality and thereby appeal to the audience?

The conversational strategies employed in the text are indicative of the roles and relationship in the conversation. As the subject of the interview, Porter is the dominant speaker, and Marty supports this allocation of roles by employing backchannelling minimal responses, such as “[yeah]” (27, 35) and [yep]” (42). This encourages Porter to speak more continue speaking by enhancing his positive face needs as he is being attentively listened to by Marty Try and link this to the social purpose e.g. increases efficiency of the interview, ensures cooperation, etc. .The interviewer-interviewee relationship is also supported by the high consideration considerable? conversational style maintained through the text. There are no interruptive or competitive overlaps as Marty waits for Porter to indicate he has ended his response with final intonations such as “...I really liked it.” (43) and “...thrilled by it.” (65). Marty then takes and returns the floor by initiating question-answer adjacency pairs, as in “did you...reception/” (44-49), allowing Porter to continue speaking by completing them. Again, encouraging cooperation between the interlocutors Adjacency pairs allow Marty to steer the conversation too by introducing topic changes in his initiating utterance, such as “Is there...moment?” (67-69), both supporting his role as a host and the referential function of the discourse by providing viewers with more information about Porter.

The social purposes of the text are served by the stylistic features and register of the interview as well. Syntactically, the use of declaratives,Don't think this is a stylistic feature? like Word choice e.g. such as“I did one last March” (15) and “I didn’t expect...it” (65), allows for efficient delivery of information to the audience about Porter’s opinions. The active voice, as in “...my age...gave me...advantages” (70-71) is used consistently to make Porter’s speech more direct and accessible to the viewers, supporting the informative purpose of the text as well.And allowing him to appear more friendly and inclusive Porter employs the informal discourse particle “like” throughout the text, both as a hedging device, “I did like a small...tour” (12), and as an indicator of reported speech “I...was like” (103). Not only does it maintain the informal register, it also indexes his identity as a teenager, as it is a lexeme used most typically by teenagers in everyday discourse. Good job on picking this up! This serves the secondary function of the text to enhance his image with the teenage audience by emphasising the shared social identity between him and them, making him seem more relatable. Reinforcing this notion is his use of the inclusive third-person personal pronoun “we” (77) to encompass himself within the same group as “high school kids” (76), his intended audience and fanbase. Alongside his reference to popular social networking website "Instagram" (38), This would be a great opportunity to discuss inference Porter’s lexicology increases his social currency with prospective fans. It allows him to promote solidarity By enhancing his image as such, he can ultimately enlarge his fanbase and thus increase his popularity and income as well.

Well written analysis under timed conditions  :) Given that this is an interview being presented to an audience on television, it would have been wise to discuss the purpose in terms of how it engages the audience and stuff. You definitely could have discussed lexical features due to the nature of such text, but it isn't expected that you cover everything so good job overall! Mark: 12/15 maybe?
Title: Re: Eng Lang Essay: "Standard English is an oxymoron". Feedback Please!
Post by: aqple on October 30, 2014, 12:09:43 am
Here is a weak attempt at a section C essay, haha.  Any feedback and ideas for improvement is welcome. Cheers

Language can both establish a sense of solidarity and belonging as well as reinforce social distance and authority. How is this true in the current Australian context?

Language can serve a myriad of indirect functions which are important in our current Australian context. Our identity Be careful, this is not an essay about identity entirely as individuals, groups and as a nation is publicly expressed by our language choices. In doing so, it also creates a sense of solidarity and belonging while also forming a sense of alienation and power to certain groups. This is vague, you are pretty much rewording the essay question. Try to explain This is evidently seen by members of authority who manipulate their language to reinforce social distance Mention who they are establishing social distance with, such as in political speak Instead of tagging this at the end, you should incorporate it into the sentence, also, you might like to mention that political speak is a 'linguistic tool' used by whoever. Furthermore Not really 'furthermore', because you are introduction a new idea, so try 'conversely' or 'on the other hand', Australian English Don't just refer to it as Aust Eng because political speak is also Aust Eng! allows our country to portray a distinct national identity, creating a national sense of belong. In a similar manner, minority groups, such as ethnic and social groups, can use language to create a unique identity which in turn, reinforces solidarity. Intro is a bit unclear and vague, but works nonetheless!

To express their group identity, many social and ethnic groups make deliberate language choices to differentiate themselves from society. By doing so, it allows them to earn covert prestige within the ‘in-group’, resulting in the reinforcement of group solidarity. Users of teenspeak clearly illustrate this notion through their deliberate language choice. This is evident by their use of the elongated vowel sound in the adverb “so” for further emphasis as well as their frequent use of colloquial slang such as “soz” (sorry) A shortening, “shweet” (intensifier for “sweet”) This is also an example of a phonological feature,“cool” and a diminutive “selfie”. These language choices also demonstrate the value of being informal and easy going among teenagers which thus create intimacy between the users and thusly Do you mean 'thus'?, a sense of belonging A shared identity. Another social group that demonstrate the phenomena of the relationship between language and group identity Ohhh be careful not to turn this into an identity essay, stay on track to how language promotes solidarity & belonging is the online community known as speed cubers Use quotations around this or capital letters. These ‘cubers’, utilised jargon that is related to twisting puzzles such as the initialisms “OLL” (orientation of last layer) and “PLL” (Permutation of last layer), to show that they have similar knowledge in this unusual field of solving Rubik’s cube which create a strong connection between each of the members, again, demonstrating how language can develop rapport between individuals Connect this to the essay question. Ethnic groups also acquire the use of non-standard language to allow them to integrate into contemporary society while maintaining their ethnical identity Again, avoid sounding like an identity essay. In doing so, they create a new dialect that combines elements of both their native and new language which are referred to as ethnolects.  This is observed by the linguistic innovations of the ethnolect; Greek Australian English which contains a distinct lack of prepositions as evident by the phrase “come my house” (come to my house) as well as the use of epenthesis in their utterance such as the addition of the inflectional plural suffix ‘-s’ to form the non-standard, second person plural pronoun, ‘youse’. These non-standard language choice acts as a distinguishing marker of their social identity while displaying their unique culture and heritage which in turn, earn the user cover prestige among that speech community. All of these conscious, language choices made reiterate the value of language in earning fellowship among minority group. I feel you need more explicit explanations of HOW and WHY such linguistic choices promote solidarity and belonging, you do this at the beginning of the para but then you start going off track.

Australian English has constantly been evolving to “meet the social and psychological needs of [its] users” (Crystal) and in doing so, reflect our contemporary national identity I don't see the connection between this quote and how it reflects national identity ???. This unique dialect Australian English is not a dialect, as it covers all the dialects, so don't make these assumptions. Instead, just say how Australian English CAN be utilised in a way that appeals to the community and therefore establishes unity or something of English plays a quintessential role in uniting members of our society together in both troubled and peaceful times. Former Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, utilised Wrong word, instead use 'demonstrate' or 'exemplifies' the ability language has to bond our nation together by specifically incorporated incoporating a broad accent Did she really use a broad accent? Her accent is general, although featuring aspects of broad in her press conference that followed the tragic floods in question Be more specific about this event, floods where? and when? . Having this more stereotypical, Australian accent, it allows her to create a sense of unity for all Australians who were in distress and thus illustrate the power of Australian English in our society Okay, Gillard doesn't purposely use a broad accent for the sake of uniting members of the community. In fact, this would be more exclusive, because the majority of Australians do not have a broad accent, also, it would be inappropriate for a politician to adopt a broad accent  :o Her accent is general so be careful. Instead, you could extract an example from the speech, such as her use of the pronouns 'we' to promote solidarity. This is again evident by Australian’s frequent use of the high rising terminal in our speech as well as our use of diminutives such as ‘g’ (Melbourne Cricket Grounds), “shep” (Shepparton), “brissy” (Brisbane), “uni” (university) and “bloody”. These unique features are “important indicator of ‘Australianness’ and of cultural values” (Burridge) such as friendliness, informality, laid-backness and mateship which shows the importance of language in our nation Don't just list, explain how these examples promote solidarity. In doing so, it illustrates how users can earn overt prestige Nah, it's not overt prestige actually, go back to your notes so you don't incorrectly use this term  :Pin our society, allowing them to reaffirm their identity of being Australian and thus, develop a sense of belonging within our nation.

Even though language plays a key component in establishing identity as individuals and groups, it can also be manipulated so that it can be used to earn power in our society while alienating others. Both political language and political correct language Political correct language actually attempts to be inclusive, doesn't it? provides evidence to this as they obfuscated Ensure that tenses remain consistent and users can put their own individual desires Be more specific in their language. The asylum seeker issue in our society has brought to light many examples that illustrate this. Titles such as “illegals” and “queue jumpers” which are frequently used by the press, has demonised these people and thus, separating them from the rest of our society. Furthermore, the politically correct noun, “homosexual”, has alienated that sexual orientation group from society by making their sexuality appear as a disorder, when compare to the more vernacular noun phrase, “gay people” Hmm this assumption is not necessarily accurate, I mean, you could validate this claim with media examples perhaps?. In doing so, it has resulted in the promotion of social distance between them and the rest of society and has thus, illustrate the subtle power language has in our society. It would have been more appropriate to discuss doublespeak and jargon in this para. E.g. Tony Abbott referring to taxes as a 'levy', or the involvement in Iraq as a 'humanitarian mission' - this reinforces authority by using language that influences the public to believe that something negative is more positive. Also, the use of jargon would reinforce social distance because the wide majority of people would not understand, hindering effective communication.

Language use is a two edged-sword Use quotations around idioms when it comes to building relationship between different members in our society. On one hand, it can be used by minority groups to create a group identity that allows the members the privilege of earning an illusion of solidarity and belonging. This notion is again emphasis by how Australian English can empower our nation in creating proud, national identity that allows it user to connect through its unique features. On the other hand, language can also alienate individuals and groups while establish a hierarchy in relationship in our society. All of these subtle, yet important functions of language demonstrates the power it has.

You're on the right track  :) Try to find some concrete examples rather than 'textbook' ones. Stay focused on the topic because at times you discuss stuff that makes your essay seem like one about identity. Always refer back to the essay question, this is very important, but you generally do a good job at this. You can definitely improve by being more specific, by elaborating more on your ideas and claims. Hope this helps!
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: apreslapluie on October 30, 2014, 12:22:59 am
Well written analysis under timed conditions  :) Given that this is an interview being presented to an audience on television, it would have been wise to discuss the purpose in terms of how it engages the audience and stuff. You definitely could have discussed lexical features due to the nature of such text, but it isn't expected that you cover everything so good job overall! Mark: 12/15 maybe?

ahh thank you so much, that really helps :D
yeah I'm struggling to include everything I want to talk about under timed conditions... how do you do it?
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: aqple on October 30, 2014, 09:55:25 pm
ahh thank you so much, that really helps :D
yeah I'm struggling to include everything I want to talk about under timed conditions... how do you do it?

It is a struggle trying to write a comprehensive analysis under timed conditions! I'm still working on it. Just keep writing as many analyses for as many different texts as possible, or if you don't have time, simply annotate different texts from past exams (legal documents, conversations, blogs, speeches) and think about what you would write about. This practice will allow you to develop the skill to quickly identify what to write about, so you're well prepared and you make good use of your time in the exam.  Good luck  :)
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: apreslapluie on October 31, 2014, 12:38:51 am
It is a struggle trying to write a comprehensive analysis under timed conditions! I'm still working on it. Just keep writing as many analyses for as many different texts as possible, or if you don't have time, simply annotate different texts from past exams (legal documents, conversations, blogs, speeches) and think about what you would write about. This practice will allow you to develop the skill to quickly identify what to write about, so you're well prepared and you make good use of your time in the exam.  Good luck  :)

definitely sounds like a plan :D thanks heaps for the tips, especially on the eve of bio! hope English and bio both went well for you, good luck to you too  :)
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: joecantwell on November 09, 2014, 03:01:53 pm
Could i please get some feedback on this it would be much appreciated like what could i do to receive higher marks  :) It was question 8 from VCAA 2012


Language and Identity are inextricably linked.How is this reflected in the current Australian Context?Refer to at least two subsystems of language in your response.

Language and identity are both have a distinct connection to each other which is relevant in Australian society.They both alter one another which makes them inextricably linked.In Australia identity can be identified by the language used in various regions and in various contexts.Aboriginal English is a common Australian Ethnolect which is known by its distinct language and identity.There is slang as well as jargon used in Australian culture which defines it as a nation by constructing a specific identity, supporting the interrelationship between language and identity.

Various regions and communities in Australia have a unique identity due to the way they use there English vernacular.In different regions there is a varying terms for the same meaning such as in Victoria a medium sized beer is known as a ‘pot’ and in New south wales it is known as a ‘middie’.This reflects the link between using language and being reflected in a certain way, such as using a term for a beer and being recognized from a certain region in Australia.They way phonemes are used in Australian society also can determine a identity for  there user.The phoneme /i/ is a ‘important indicator of Australianness’ (Burridge 2012) commonly used in informal Australian contexts.It is used commonly used in nicknames such as ‘bob/i/’ and ‘jake/i/’ which when someone uses them or are called this it generally defines them as being in the worker generation of Australian individuals.Communities who don’t use this generalized term use australian phonemes such as this and tend to use the standard and are ‘almost considered un Australian in doing so’ (Crawford 2004).Different regions and cultures in Australia have the ability to be identified according to the language they use due to the inextricable link.

Aboriginal English identity is commonly constructed through there distinct use of the English language.Aboriginal English holds covert prestige in Australian society and has a distinct identity which is held separate to other Australian English users.The quit campaign is a recent advertisement which was specifically directed at aboriginal smokers.They used common aboriginal lexemes such ‘aye’ which was used in the utterance ‘smoking no good aye’ (Aus government 2014).Uses of the common aboriginal term as well as sighs of aboriginal English distinct morphological uses such as creative word formation is used ‘to stick members of a group together’ (Burridge 2012).These language uses in turn may add negative connotations ot the individual due to the aboriginal culture are seen to have a identity which is high in chain smokers and have a lower socio economic status.The language used by the aboriginal people gives them a distinct identity due to the impossible to disentangle link between the two.

Australian slang as well as Jargon holds overt prestige in Australian society, constructing identity for the Australian people.Australian language users are distinct users of slang as well as using localised jargon such as ‘snot block’ for a lemon slice.Australians can be patriotic about there slang and use it to ‘stick members of s group together’(Burridge 2012) and ‘erect barriers between them and the outside’(Burridge 2012).It is unique in way that it can separate users as being of a Australian identity.Collqiulisms are frequent in Australia such as uses ‘bloody hell’(ABC Grandstand 2014) appearing on the radio frequently as well as on the television were Eddie McGuire used ‘old cunt’(McGuire 2014).These uses would identify the language user as being Australian due to the inextricable link between the two and in some instances create rapport.

Language and identity are intertwined and have the ability to alter one another in the Australian community.The language variation from regions in Australia is shown to have varying identity with there different uses of the Australian vernacular.Aborinal english is a non standard English variety in which the language use sculpts there identity as a whole.Australian users use slang and jargon in a distinct way which pictures them as being of a Australian ethnolect due to the inextricable link between language and identity.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Reus on November 09, 2014, 03:39:41 pm
Could i please get some feedback on this it would be much appreciated like what could i do to receive higher marks  :) It was question 8 from VCAA 2012


Language and Identity are inextricably linked.How is this reflected in the current Australian Context?Refer to at least two subsystems of language in your response.

Language and identity are both have a distinct connection to each other which is relevant in Australian society. They both alter one another which makes them inextricably linked. In Australia identity can be identified by the language used in various regions and in various contexts. Aboriginal English is a common Australian Ethnolect which is known by its distinct language and identity. There is slang as well as jargon used in Australian culture which defines it as a nation by constructing a specific identity, supporting the interrelationship between language and identity. I feel like you should add a sentence to tighten the structure and your contention. Maybe something little like this "The identity particular Australians uphold is reflective in their language choices."

Various regions and communities in Australia have a unique identity due to the way they use their English vernacular I would say that variation is contextual where historic factors also contribute to the unique vernacular certain communities possess. . In different regions there is a are varying terms for the same meaning such asfor example in Victoria a medium sized beer is known as a ‘pot’ and in New south wales it is known as a ‘middie’. This reflects the link between using language and being reflected in a certain way, such as using a term for a beer and being recognized from a certain region in Australia. They way phonemes are used in Australian society also can determine a identity for there user. The phoneme /i/ is an ‘important indicator of Australianness’ (Burridge 2012) commonly used in informal Australian contexts. It is used commonly used in nicknames such as ‘bob/i/’ and ‘jake/i/’ which when someone uses them or are called this it generally defines them as being in the worker generation of Australian individuals. Communities who don’t use this generalized term use australian phonemes such as this and tend to use the standard and are ‘almost considered un Australian in doing so’ (Crawford 2004). Different regions and cultures in Australia have the ability to be identified according to the language they use due to the inextricable link. might want to add that the /i/ phoneme is a feature of diminutives, a distinct feature in non-standard Australian English :)

Aboriginal English identity is commonly constructed through their distinct use of the English language. Aboriginal English holds covert prestige in Australian society and has a distinct identity which is held separate to other Australian English users. The quit campaign is a recent advertisement which was specifically directed at aboriginal smokers. They used common aboriginal lexemes such ‘aye’ which was used in the utterance ‘smoking no good aye’ (Aus government 2014).Uses of the common aboriginal term as well as sighs of aboriginal English distinct morphological uses such as creative word formation is used ‘to stick members of a group together’ (Burridge 2012).These language uses in turn may add negative connotations ot the individual due to the aboriginal culture are seen to have a identity which is high in chain smokers and have a lower socio economic status.The language used by the aboriginal people gives them a distinct identity due to the impossible to disentangle link between the two. amazing example haha. To lengthen the paragraph - dependent on how you're going with time, you might want to add that the possession marked juxtaposition of "that my daddy car" or the irregular single plural marker "2 man in a jeep" are indicative of Aboriginal identity.

Australian slang as well as Jargonwhy the capital J? holds overt prestige in Australian society, constructing identity for the Australian people. Australian language users are distinct users of slang as well as using localised jargon such as ‘snot block’ for a lemon slice. Australians can be patriotic about their slang and use it to ‘stick members of s group together’(Burridge 2012) and ‘erect barriers between them and the outside’(Burridge 2012) you just mentioned that it was overtly employed so maybe stick away from the "erecting barriers" and dichotomy type of thing. It is unique in way that it can separate users as being of a Australian identity. Colloquialisms are frequent in Australia such as uses ‘bloody hell’(ABC Grandstand 2014) appearing on the radio frequently as well as on the television were Eddie McGuire used ‘old cunt’(McGuire 2014).explain these examples more. what do they say about Australian identity?These uses would identify the language user as being Australian due to the inextricable link between the two and in some instances create rapport.

Language and identity are intertwined and have the ability to alter one another in the Australian community. The language variation from regions in Australia is shown to have varying identities with their different uses of the Australian vernacular. Aboriginal english is a non standard English variety in which the language use sculpts their identity as a whole you should withdraw from using pronouns in an essay that much. Try ".. establishing an identity for the Aboriginal population . Australian users what do you mean by Australian users? use slang and jargon in a distinct way which pictures them as being of a Australian ethnolect Australian English is not an ethnolect due to the inextricable link between language and identity.

Corrections in red, had a go. :)
Loved the examples you used
Great quotes - shows depth of reading
A few errors with spelling, the wrong 'theirs' and what not
All in all great, you answered the question correctly and provided contemporary examples. However you didn't explain the examples as much as you should have. Was this timed/done in exam conditions?
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: aqple on November 09, 2014, 04:32:56 pm
Could i please get some feedback on this it would be much appreciated like what could i do to receive higher marks  :) It was question 8 from VCAA 2012


Language and Identity are inextricably linked.How is this reflected in the current Australian Context?Refer to at least two subsystems of language in your response.

Language and identity are both have a distinct connection to with?  each other which is relevant in Australian society.They both alter one another which makes them inextricably linked.In Australian identity can be identified by the language used in various regions and in various contexts. This is extremely vague, be more specific! Aboriginal English is a common Australian Ethnolect Aboriginal English isn't necessarily an ethnolect, it's more an umbrella term which covers the different varieties of English that Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people speak which is known by its distinct language and identity Again, too vague, try to elaborate a bit more .There is slang as well as jargon used in Australian culture which defines it as a nation by constructing a specific identity, supporting the interrelationship between language and identity. Slang and jargon are used by specific groups to establish their personal identity or the identity they wish to promote, or the group they wish to associate with - don't make broad statements that it defines the nation.

Various regions and communities in Australia have a unique identity due to the way they use there their English vernacular. In different regions there is a varying terms for the same meaning such as in Victoria a medium sized beer is known as a ‘pot’ and in New south wales it is known as a ‘middie’.This reflects the link between using language and being reflected in a certain way, such as using a term for a beer and being recognized from a certain region in Australia. Honestly, I would avoid talking about regionalisms because nowadays, we all pretty much speak the same, so it's not a very good argument to use when trying to find a link between language and identity. The way phonemes are used in Australian society also can determine a identity for  theretheir user. Definitely avoid this argument, such subtle differences in pronunciation don't really display the inextricable link of language and identity. The phoneme /i/ is a ‘important indicator of Australianness’ (Burridge 2012) commonly used in informal Australian contexts. You're going off track here, don't forget language and identity is your focus. It is used commonly used in nicknames such as ‘bob/i/’ and ‘jake/i/’ which when someone uses them or are called this it generally defines them as being in the worker generation of Australian individuals You mean diminutives? This is not a phonological feature, it's morphological .Communities who don’t use this generalized term use australian phonemes Not a phoneme such as this and tend to use the standard and are ‘almost considered un Australian in doing so’ (Crawford 2004). Why exactly is this feature Australian? Explain Different regions and cultures You don't talk about culture though in Australia have the ability to be identified according to the language they use due to the inextricable link. You should remove the regionalism argument as you are actually focusing on national identity in this para.

Aboriginal English identity is commonly constructed through there the distinct use of the English language Improve this e.g. Aboriginal English is a variety of English utilised by people to express their indigenous roots, providing for a tool to display their unique identity.Aboriginal English holds covert prestige in Australian society and has a distinct identity which is held separate to other Australian English users.The quit campaign is a recent advertisement which was specifically directed at aboriginal smokers.They used common aboriginal lexemes such ‘aye’ which was used in the utterance ‘smoking no good aye’ (Aus government 2014). Great example Uses of the common aboriginal term as well as sighs of aboriginal English distinct morphological uses such as creative word formation is used ‘to stick members of a group together’ (Burridge 2012). Read this sentence again, doesn't make sense These language uses in turn may add negative connotations ot the individual due to the aboriginal culture are seen to have a identity which is high in chain smokers and have a lower socio economic status. But why would Indigenous people want to promote this identity? And also, be careful, I know if I had indigenous roots, I would be offended by this The language used by the aboriginal people gives them a distinct identity due to the impossible to disentangle link between the two.

Australian slang as well as Jargon holds overt prestige in Australian society Slang and jargon do not hold overt prestige!!! be careful , constructing identity for the Australian people Be more specific, e.g. slang and jargon can be utilised to express the group in which one belongs to, demonstrating an aspect of their social identity, etc. .Australian language users are distinct users of slang as well as using localised jargon such as ‘snot block’ for a lemon slice. How does this demonstrate identity? Need to answer the essay question Australians can be patriotic about there their not there  :P slang and use it to ‘stick members of s group together’(Burridge 2012) and ‘erect barriers between them and the outside’(Burridge 2012). Good use of quotes but you need to elaborate on them to properly answer the essay question, perhaps use an example of the slang from a specific group It is unique in way that it can separate users as being of a Australian identity. Too broad, slang demonstrates specific social characteristics such as gender, age, ethnicity and not simply an Australian identity Collqiulisms are frequent in Australia such as uses ‘bloody hell’ which is a dysphemism (ABC Grandstand 2014) appearing on the radio frequently as well as on the television were Eddie McGuire used ‘old cunt’(McGuire 2014) What does the use of swearing and profanity demonstrate about our identity? .These uses would identify the language user as being Australian due to the inextricable link between the two and in some instances create rapport. It would be wise to talk about uniquely Australian colloquial/idiomatic expressions such as 'no worries', 'shithouse', 'were you born in a tent?' that demonstrate the national Australian character.

Language and identity are intertwined and have the ability to alter one another in the Australian community.The language variation from regions in Australia is shown to have varying identity with there different uses of the Australian vernacular.Aborinal english is a non standard English variety in which the language use sculpts there identity as a whole.Australian users use slang and jargon in a distinct way which pictures them as being of a Australian ethnolect Used out of context, not an ethnolect due to the inextricable link between language and identity.

Think about the essay question as you write your essay. For example, you're lacking insight and direction - how exactly does certain linguistic features demonstrate identity, and what part of one's identity? Quotes and examples are there to complement your essay, not make up your essay, so you need to use them to your advantage and explain HOW such examples/quotes demonstrate that language and identity are inextricably linked. I reckon working on this would be the best way to improve from now until the exam. Hope this helps a bit  :)
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: joecantwell on November 09, 2014, 09:02:57 pm
Thanks Guys for the feedback!! Much appreciated  :) :) I will take it all on board for my exam next week!
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Nguyensanity on November 11, 2014, 09:38:39 pm
Hi everyone,

I know this is very late, 2 days out from the exam, but if I could get any feedback on this essay that would be great! :) Many thanks in advance!

‘Standard Australian English is no longer a relevant or important variety of language in Australia today.’

In contemporary Australian society, Standard Australian English is still a relevant variety of language, even though the common use of non-standard English has surpassed it in importance. Firstly, the exponential growth of globalization and the use of English in the ‘global village’ has resulted in a plethora of non-standard hybrid Australian English varieties. In addition to this, modern advancement in technology and global communication, as well as a shift in national identity has resulted in deviations from Standard Australian English. However, the practical necessity for a Standard Australian English in the context of international relations ensures that it will remain a relevant variety of English in Australia for the foreseeable future.

While Standard Australian English itself is not changing, non-standard varieties of Australian English have become popular through common use and are directly influenced by phenomena such as globalization and Americanisation, especially in terms of lexis and discourse. Non-standard Australian English is becoming an important variety in a tug-of-war fashion: first of all, it is attempting to become a more neutral variety that ‘breaks off the shackles’ of Australia’s colonial past, whilst also maintaining a unique national identity in a global context. For example, non-standard Australian English has experienced lexical borrowing and Americanisation, with classic Australian slang such as ‘mate’, ‘grouse’ and ‘sheila’ neutralised by the addition of their American counterparts ‘dude’, ‘cool’ and ‘babe’ to this non-standard variety. This movement towards a more globally accepted variety of English has resulted in a variety of English that is suited to Australia’s modern multicultural society. Conversely, the maintenance of the Australian identity and its colourful connotations has been noticed by international social commentators. Ian Rose, a British freelance writer, describes ‘breezy’ discourse closings such as ‘no dramas’, ‘too easy’ and ‘good on ya’ as terms that uniquely convey the ‘casual optimism’ that is intrinsically associated with the Australian persona. Most of all, it is the ‘athletic vigour’ that Australian expressions have that maintains our identity and thus highlights the importance such as non-standard varieties of Australian English.

The indubitable increased importance of other non-standard varieties of SAE such as Teenspeak and CMC (computer mediated communication) has rendered SAE a static construct that is unable to keep up with the amorphous linguistic boundaries within generational realms. On a broader scale, the use of technological language encompasses all generations, but teenagers, as the linguistic vanguards of linguistic principles have dominated a modern shift in social paradigms. For example, the morphological creation of rebuses ‘4eva’, remodeling ‘f#!k’ and compounding ‘yoloswag’ on social media platforms such as Facebook display the classical recalcitrance of the teenage generation towards standard linguistic norms. Whilst a secondary purpose of technological teenspeak is to demarcate social groups on a small scale, a primary, more important purpose relates to the recent shift from a national Australian paradigm, to a generational paradigm. The application of neologisms such as ‘faffing’ (playing around) and ‘munt’ (to vomit) is further evidence to explain the fact that there is more generational slang than national slang as part of non-standard English varieties, forming a new ‘us-and-them’ dichotomy between generations. The strong reflection of modern societal values is embedded in the use of non-standard English and its ostensible preference as the more important variety.

Although SAE is putatively less important than non-standard varieties in most societal contexts, it is an undeniable truth that SAE remains as a salient variety of Australian English. This is seen in its necessity for communications in realms relating to international aviation and global affairs. In particular, a miscommunication over the semantics of the initialism ‘OK’ in aviation discourse at Tenerife Airport in the Canary Islands in 1972 led to a major mid-air collision that claimed 573 lives. The principle behind the necessity of Standard English is even more applicable today. With more international air travel than ever before, the importance of an international understood medium of communication is well documented within the aviation industry, and it follows that the Australian variety of Standard English should also be maintained. It is for the sake of clarity that SAE should be well maintained, controlled and most importantly, relevant on ever changing linguistic landscape.

To this end, it is clear that whilst SAE may no longer be the most important variety of Australian English today, it will always be a saliently relevant variety for Australia’s multicultural society.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: NyaTaku on November 12, 2014, 11:51:53 am
Hi everyone,

I know this is very late, 2 days out from the exam, but if I could get any feedback on this essay that would be great! :) Many thanks in advance!

‘Standard Australian English is no longer a relevant or important variety of language in Australia today.’

In contemporary Australian society, Standard Australian English is still a relevant variety of language, even though the common use of non-standard English has surpassed it in importance. Firstly, the exponential growth of globalization and the use of English in the ‘global village’ has resulted in a plethora of non-standard hybrid Australian English varieties. In addition to this, modern advancement in technology and global communication, as well as a shift in national identity has resulted in deviations from Standard Australian English. However, the practical necessity for a Standard Australian English in the context of international relations ensures that it will remain a relevant variety of English in Australia for the foreseeable future.

While Standard Australian English itself is not changing, non-standard varieties of Australian English have become popular through common use and are directly influenced by phenomena such as globalization and Americanisation, especially in terms of lexis and discourse. Non-standard Australian English is becoming an important variety in a tug-of-war fashion: first of all, it is attempting to become a more neutral variety that ‘breaks off the shackles’ of Australia’s colonial past, whilst also maintaining a unique national identity in a global context. For example, non-standard Australian English has experienced lexical borrowing and Americanisation, with classic Australian slang such as ‘mate’, ‘grouse’ and ‘sheila’ neutralised by the addition of their American counterparts ‘dude’, ‘cool’ and ‘babe’ to this non-standard variety. This movement towards a more globally accepted variety of English has resulted in a variety of English that is suited to Australia’s modern multicultural society. Conversely, the maintenance of the Australian identity and its colourful connotations has been noticed by international social commentators. Ian Rose, a British freelance writer, describes ‘breezy’ discourse closings such as ‘no dramas’, ‘too easy’ and ‘good on ya’ as terms that uniquely convey the ‘casual optimism’ that is intrinsically associated with the Australian persona. Most of all, it is the ‘athletic vigour’ that Australian expressions have that maintains our identity and thus highlights the importance such as non-standard varieties of Australian English.

The indubitable increased importance of other non-standard varieties of SAE such as Teenspeak and CMC (computer mediated communication) has rendered SAE a static construct that is unable to keep up with the amorphous linguistic boundaries within generational realms. On a broader scale, the use of technological language encompasses all generations, but teenagers, as the linguistic vanguards of linguistic principles have dominated a modern shift in social paradigms. For example, the morphological creation of rebuses ‘4eva’, remodeling ‘f#!k’ and compounding ‘yoloswag’ on social media platforms such as Facebook display the classical recalcitrance of the teenage generation towards standard linguistic norms. Whilst a secondary purpose of technological teenspeak is to demarcate social groups on a small scale, a primary, more important purpose relates to the recent shift from a national Australian paradigm, to a generational paradigm. The application of neologisms such as ‘faffing’ (playing around) and ‘munt’ (to vomit) is further evidence to explain the fact that there is more generational slang than national slang as part of non-standard English varieties, forming a new ‘us-and-them’ dichotomy between generations. The strong reflection of modern societal values is embedded in the use of non-standard English and its ostensible preference as the more important variety.

Although SAE is putatively less important than non-standard varieties in most societal contexts, it is an undeniable truth that SAE remains as a salient variety of Australian English. This is seen in its necessity for communications in realms relating to international aviation and global affairs. In particular, a miscommunication over the semantics of the initialism ‘OK’ in aviation discourse at Tenerife Airport in the Canary Islands in 1972 led to a major mid-air collision that claimed 573 lives. The principle behind the necessity of Standard English is even more applicable today. With more international air travel than ever before, the importance of an international understood medium of communication is well documented within the aviation industry, and it follows that the Australian variety of Standard English should also be maintained. It is for the sake of clarity that SAE should be well maintained, controlled and most importantly, relevant on ever changing linguistic landscape.

To this end, it is clear that whilst SAE may no longer be the most important variety of Australian English today, it will always be a saliently relevant variety for Australia’s multicultural society.

Hi Nguyensanity,

I know this is repeatedly stressed but you do need to make an effort to include at least a few linguist quotes into your essay. Your examples are good (Ian Rose one was interesting) and your links to the topic are also relevant. However, some pretty substantial points you make 'teenspeak has rendered SAE a static construct that is unable to keep up with the amorphous linguistic boundaries within generational realms...' should definitely be backed up with some sort of evidence other than examples. A relevant quote might be 'language is constantly changing and this is a part of the evolutionary process' (Bruce Moore).

In addition, your first paragraph on Australian identity is a great paragraph overall. You could link Americanisms to shifting cultural attitudes and the media landscape, which then inherently links to the volatile nature of teenspeak. Your second paragraph is also well-written but it can definitely be made stronger through the addition of some linguist quotes. Your examples are recent, relevant, and utilises sophisticated metalanguage. You might want to shift your focus from memorising overly-convoluted words such as 'recalcitrance' and 'demarcate' and instead memorise some relevant teenspeak or language change quotes. Furthermore, your last paragraph is definitely weak. It focuses on only one example from the niche-communication sphere, an example from 1972 as well. VCAA has placed an emphasis on more contemporary examples and whilst I understand it relates directly to your point of 'communication is vital for aviation', you need to remember that the topic asks you to talk about the relevance of SAE in Australia today! You may want to avoid implementing this paragraph into your actual essay tomorrow as it is definitely your weakest one.

All in all a solid essay but the last paragraph didn't really address the question. Your paragraph focused on the function of language rather than specific SAE features and you should take care in planning your essay tomorrow to ensure you actually address the prompt.

12-13/15 (Closer to 13)

Best of luck for tomorrow!
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: dannynips on November 12, 2014, 12:42:59 pm

Hi everyone,

I know this is very late, 2 days out from the exam, but if I could get any feedback on this essay that would be great! :) Many thanks in advance!

‘Standard Australian English is no longer a relevant or important variety of language in Australia today.’

In contemporary Australian society, Standard Australian English is still a relevant variety of language, even though the common use of non-standard English has surpassed it in importance. Firstly, the exponential growth of globalization and the use of English in the ‘global village’ has resulted in a plethora of non-standard hybrid Australian English varieties. In addition to this, modern advancement in technology and global communication, as well as a shift in national identity has resulted in deviations from Standard Australian English. However, the practical necessity for a Standard Australian English in the context of international relations ensures that it will remain a relevant variety of English in Australia for the foreseeable future.

While Standard Australian English itself is not changing, non-standard varieties of Australian English have become popular through common use and are directly influenced by phenomena such as globalization and Americanisation, especially in terms of lexis and discourse. Non-standard Australian English is becoming an important variety in a tug-of-war fashion: first of all, it is attempting to become a more neutral variety that ‘breaks off the shackles’ of Australia’s colonial past, whilst also maintaining a unique national identity in a global context. For example, non-standard Australian English has experienced lexical borrowing and Americanisation, with classic Australian slang such as ‘mate’, ‘grouse’ and ‘sheila’ neutralised by the addition of their American counterparts ‘dude’, ‘cool’ and ‘babe’ to this non-standard variety. This movement towards a more globally accepted variety of English has resulted in a variety of English that is suited to Australia’s modern multicultural society. Conversely, the maintenance of the Australian identity and its colourful connotations has been noticed by international social commentators. Ian Rose, a British freelance writer, describes ‘breezy’ discourse closings such as ‘no dramas’, ‘too easy’ and ‘good on ya’ as terms that uniquely convey the ‘casual optimism’ that is intrinsically associated with the Australian persona. Most of all, it is the ‘athletic vigour’ that Australian expressions have that maintains our identity and thus highlights the importance such as non-standard varieties of Australian English.

The indubitable increased importance of other non-standard varieties of SAE such as Teenspeak and CMC (computer mediated communication) has rendered SAE a static construct that is unable to keep up with the amorphous linguistic boundaries within generational realms. On a broader scale, the use of technological language encompasses all generations, but teenagers, as the linguistic vanguards of linguistic principles have dominated a modern shift in social paradigms. For example, the morphological creation of rebuses ‘4eva’, remodeling ‘f#!k’ and compounding ‘yoloswag’ on social media platforms such as Facebook display the classical recalcitrance of the teenage generation towards standard linguistic norms. Whilst a secondary purpose of technological teenspeak is to demarcate social groups on a small scale, a primary, more important purpose relates to the recent shift from a national Australian paradigm, to a generational paradigm. The application of neologisms such as ‘faffing’ (playing around) and ‘munt’ (to vomit) is further evidence to explain the fact that there is more generational slang than national slang as part of non-standard English varieties, forming a new ‘us-and-them’ dichotomy between generations. The strong reflection of modern societal values is embedded in the use of non-standard English and its ostensible preference as the more important variety.

Although SAE is putatively less important than non-standard varieties in most societal contexts, it is an undeniable truth that SAE remains as a salient variety of Australian English. This is seen in its necessity for communications in realms relating to international aviation and global affairs. In particular, a miscommunication over the semantics of the initialism ‘OK’ in aviation discourse at Tenerife Airport in the Canary Islands in 1972 led to a major mid-air collision that claimed 573 lives. The principle behind the necessity of Standard English is even more applicable today. With more international air travel than ever before, the importance of an international understood medium of communication is well documented within the aviation industry, and it follows that the Australian variety of Standard English should also be maintained. It is for the sake of clarity that SAE should be well maintained, controlled and most importantly, relevant on ever changing linguistic landscape.

To this end, it is clear that whilst SAE may no longer be the most important variety of Australian English today, it will always be a saliently relevant variety for Australia’s multicultural society.

This essay is fucken good
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Nguyensanity on November 12, 2014, 03:34:49 pm
What up! I'm back again. Sorry to be a massive pain, but I've got another essay I've just done after trying the 2013 VCAA paper. Take a look and let me know what you think (if you feel like it) :) Many thanks in advance and good luck to all doing English Language tomorrow!

‘Australian English is inventive and playful, and reflects out national identity.’ To what extent do you agree? (VCAA 2013, Q9)

Australian English is an inventive and playful variety of English that strongly reflects our national identity. Firstly, unique Australian expressions that contain ‘athletic vigour’ pertaining to our well-known national stereotype for being ‘outdoorsy’ (Rose, Age 2013) are commonplace in Australian discourse today. Furthermore, the longevity of historical slang such as Cockney Rhyming Slang (CRS) and swearing has added another dimension to our creativeness and imagination in terms of language expressing national identity. However, there has been a recent shift from the use of Australian English for national identity to generational identity, coinciding with the need to become a more neutral variety of language in English’s ‘global village’ (Crystal).

Australian discourse and lexis have long been regarded as intrinsic features of Australian English that truly reflect out national identity. In particular, it reinforced national stereotypes of relaxed, laidback people. For example, the use of conversational closings such as ‘too easy’, ‘no dramas’ and ‘good on ya’ reflect the casual optimism with which Australians view their lifestyle. In addition to this myriad of unique discourse expressions, Australian English also contains unique functional lexemes and expressions, as seen in the negation displayed in ‘yeah-nah’. This expressions factors into the historical Australian characteristic of mateship, by maintaining social harmony as a hedge for dispreferred responses and by downplaying superiority to a peer, promoting equality and solidarity amongst friends. This mateship identity is once again evidenced in the typical Australian use of diminutives as terms of address, such as ‘Damo’ and ‘Stevo’. The laidback ease with which the /o/ vowel is pronounced increases its common use as a unique Australian term.

In addition to unique discourse and lexis in Australian English, the widespread use of swearing, expletives and Cockney Rhyming Slang have begun to push the modern boundaries of taboo. The relatively high tolerance of swearing in Australian society, whilst certainly creative, inventive and unique, has given the Australian identity negative, unwanted connotations. The creation of expletives such as ‘fuckwit’, ‘arsewipe’ and ‘dickhead’ has slowly become a subject of taboo as Australia looks towards a future with a more neutral, globalised variety of English. This is also evidenced in a recent public example of CRS. Melbourne Demons AFL player Bernie Vince took to Twitter immediately after the 2014 Melbourne Cup to post ‘Admire Rakti’s new nickname…Heinz Tomato Sauce’. While putatively harmless at first, in the context of Admire Rakti having actually died after coming last in the Melbourne Cup, along with the use of CRS ‘Heinz Tomato Sauce’ to reference ‘dead horse’, Vince received heavy backlash on Twitter for his comment. This indicates that Australians have become distanced from the language and CRS that identifies them as being connected to Australia’s colonial past, and are ‘breaking off the shackles’ in search of a globally accepted variety.

Whilst Australian English has always been playful in nature, a recent shift from the presentation of identity on a national paradigm to a generational paradigm has resulted in a more neutral variety of Australian English. The linguistic tug-of-war between becoming a more accepted, understandable variety of English, especially when it comes to CRS, and the maintenance of the Australian flair for language is becoming a more significant quandary. The drivers for language change, widely considered to be teenagers, have resorted to hybrid features of language such as adjective formation seen in the suffixation of nouns using ‘-ey’ and ‘-ish’. The use of these suffixes has made a blur between identifying as an Australian and the ambiguous and colloquial feel these suffixes provide, and the generational tone of modern teens and their pubescent years of angst and uncertainty. In today’s society, even though this is still classified as inventive, playful language formation, it can no longer by indubitably considered uniquely Australian. This can also be proven through the implementation of neologistic acronyms in today’s language, such as ‘FOMO’ (fear of missing out) and ‘YOLO’ (you only live once). These terms promote both identities, in both a national and generational paradigm; acronyms show the laidback natures of Australians and semantically, the ‘us-and-them’ dichotomy that appears when understanding the use of these acronyms in situational contexts.

Australian English is inventive, playful and one of the most unique varieties of English worldwide. However, the continuous shift of linguistic paradigms towards the representation of generational identity has resulted in a more neutral, globalised variety as Australia moves into the future.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Zues on November 27, 2014, 08:19:22 pm
can someone give me some definitions for these, with possibly an example too?

Phrases:
Clauses:
Phrases:
Sentences:
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: AngelWings on January 24, 2015, 02:43:57 pm
can someone give me some definitions for these, with possibly an example too?

Phrases:
Clauses:
Phrases:
Sentences:

Zues, this is the wrong place to put this question. There is another page here: EngLang 3/4 Question Thread. ,which would be much more suited. Just a warning for next time. However, I will answer your query on the other page. I'm sorry if I sound rather serious, but it's a courtesy of being on this forum.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: natalientan on January 26, 2015, 11:36:38 pm
Hey, this is a terrible essay (its my second time writing an Eng Lang essay) but if you could mark it, please be as harsh as you can and I'll try not to cry into my pillow ahaha... thanks heaps!

‘Nothing unites a country more than its common language because from a language comes a history and a culture’ (PM John Howard, 2006) Discuss, referring to at least three subsystems.
Australian English has evolved over many years to become what it is today. It has been through many years of influence from different cultures and traditions to bring about the new lexemes, idioms and phrases as well as the distinctive pronunciation of lexemes that we now use in our everyday lives. The Australian accent is primarily caused by elision in our speech and has roots to its origins - British English. Australians have developed our own lexemes which follow the standard morphological patterns to suit our needs and which reflect our unique culture. Australian historic events have resulted in addition of new lexemes from the languages of cultures and tribes which were involved. In addition, Australian idioms and phrases have their own exclusive semantics that no other country or variation of English subscribes to. Through our common language, Australians have established a foundation in which we are able to communicate effectively and without intermediaries.
   Phonologically, Australian English is one of the world’s most regionally homogenous varieties of English. It is considered a non-rhotic variety of English, which means Australian English speakers do not pronounce the written letter “r” unless it is followed by a vowel. This could be due to the fact that Australia’s white colony was established only after the /r/ loss in Southern British English was fully developed. Elision of consonants like /l/ are common, for example, Australia becomes “Austray’a”. The initial voiced alveolar /l/ requires the tongue to be closed (to the roof of the mouth) and raised however, in the example “Austray’a”, the tongue is lowered whilst still maintaining the rounded lips. Flapping of the /t/ sound is often pronounced as a /d/ such as “water” which is spoken as “wader”. The High Rising Terminal (HRT) is typical as Australian teenagers tend to have a rising intonation, pitch and stress at the end of declarative sentences. Possible explanations for this phenomenon is that this is used to invite audience participation and seek empathy, however, these sentences are commonly mistaken as interrogative sentences. These developments have occurred as a function of time to suit our needs today. In addition, our speech has become more monotonous as Australians have habitualised a ‘lazy’ habit in the way our tongue and mouth move to pronounce lexemes.
   Australians have our own register of lexemes which can be found in traditional songs, on television and conversations on the streets. Many of these lexemes are borrowed from the Aboriginal language of Australia especially content words like “koala”, “boomerang” and “billabong”, however there are also some colloquial terms that have been added into the Australian English lexicon for example, “yakka” (work, for example hard yakka = hard work). Originally, some of these new lexemes were restricted to Australian English, however, they are now being used universally (e.g “kangaroo”). Australians have borrowed these lexemes to facilitate the labelling and naming of new objects and places that they have come across on the new land. Diminutives, which in this case is the back clipping (shortening) and suffixation of –y/-ie/-o, are a unique feature of Australian English. Examples of popular lexemes commonly used in Australia are “bikkie” (biscuits) and “ambo” (ambulance). However, there are a few exceptions to this common rule of thumb like “Maccas” (McDonalds). Using the diminutive forms of lexemes in casual and informal conversations lend it a more jocular tone as well as simplifying the complexity of a lexeme by shortening the phonology which mirrors the laid back culture and friendliness of Australians.
   The semantic features of Australian English are a reflection of the importance we place on our tradition and values. Connotative meanings of these phrases, idioms and metaphors are crucial as they are context dependent. Idioms such as “fair dinkum” (true or genuine) and “fair go” (used for emphasis or to request someone to be reasonable or fair), which are used by politicians as well as everyday Australians, emphasize the pride that Australians take in having a just society. This idiom carries some historic relevance to our country as “dinkum”, which means “work”, is etymologically linked to a British dialect. The “Aussie salute” (brushing away flies with a hand) is a regular occurrence especially in summer due to the abundance of flies. Non-Australians would not understand the reference as they do not share a similar experience. Likewise, the term “banana bender” is an alternate name for a resident of Queensland, Australia. This is a teasing and playful term as bananas are grown in Queensland and the social context of it is that Queenslanders have nothing better to do so they bend bananas.  (the green bit is really awkward but I'm not sure how to improve it...) Semantic shifts can be observed in some individual lexemes for example, “dag” which originally meant “an entertaining eccentric person” has now shifted to become “an unfashionable person” or even “a nerd”.
   Australian English is one of many great examples that a common language is more than just a means of communication – it encapsulates the essence of the Australian spirit and is knee deep in historic evidence through the phonetic variations from Standard English, creation and introduction of new lexemes as well as the distinctive semantic features. Australian English “helped to mark their identity and was a source of pride” after all.

Thanks! :)
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Nguyensanity on February 14, 2015, 11:41:39 pm
Hi Nguyensanity,

I know this is repeatedly stressed but you do need to make an effort to include at least a few linguist quotes into your essay. Your examples are good (Ian Rose one was interesting) and your links to the topic are also relevant. However, some pretty substantial points you make 'teenspeak has rendered SAE a static construct that is unable to keep up with the amorphous linguistic boundaries within generational realms...' should definitely be backed up with some sort of evidence other than examples. A relevant quote might be 'language is constantly changing and this is a part of the evolutionary process' (Bruce Moore).

In addition, your first paragraph on Australian identity is a great paragraph overall. You could link Americanisms to shifting cultural attitudes and the media landscape, which then inherently links to the volatile nature of teenspeak. Your second paragraph is also well-written but it can definitely be made stronger through the addition of some linguist quotes. Your examples are recent, relevant, and utilises sophisticated metalanguage. You might want to shift your focus from memorising overly-convoluted words such as 'recalcitrance' and 'demarcate' and instead memorise some relevant teenspeak or language change quotes. Furthermore, your last paragraph is definitely weak. It focuses on only one example from the niche-communication sphere, an example from 1972 as well. VCAA has placed an emphasis on more contemporary examples and whilst I understand it relates directly to your point of 'communication is vital for aviation', you need to remember that the topic asks you to talk about the relevance of SAE in Australia today! You may want to avoid implementing this paragraph into your actual essay tomorrow as it is definitely your weakest one.

All in all a solid essay but the last paragraph didn't really address the question. Your paragraph focused on the function of language rather than specific SAE features and you should take care in planning your essay tomorrow to ensure you actually address the prompt.

12-13/15 (Closer to 13)

Best of luck for tomorrow!

Ended up getting 13/15 on my exam for the essay :P
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: odeaa on May 04, 2015, 09:33:45 pm
This thread is a bit dead, but I thought I'd chuck an essay in here to get another opinion.
This is my first essay for the year so I'm just trying to find my feet a bit
Thanks in advance, any advice is much appreciated!

‘But perhaps the phrase Paltrow and Martin unleashed this week is simply the latest in the long line of words and phrases we have all used to soften the blow of private, painful events. ''He passed away.' ''It's not you, it's me.'' 'We're having time apart.'  Rejection, loss and unhappiness are hard enough to go through. For many, gentle words can ease the experience.’   (Josephine Tovey, Conscious uncoupling: Gwyneth Paltrow's split from Chris Martin, The Sydney Morning Herald)

As the unpopular shark bait and shoot program continues in Western Australia, fisheries minister Troy Buswell has defended the policy, saying that it isn’t a cull, but a ‘localised shark mitigation strategy’…. Buswell learned the art of political euphemism from the best. (Lochlan Morrissey, Fully (sic))

‘Extra-Visibilty or Emphasis on Difference: in many contexts, it is quite unnecessary to mention a person’s sex, race, ethnic background or other characteristics, yet such characteristics are often mentioned even at the expense of information that would have been more relevant to the context.  This is particularly true for members of minority groups.  Unnecessary references of this nature should be avoided.’  (‘Inclusive Language Policy’, University of Western Sydney.)   

‘Jargon facilitates communication on one hand, but erects quite successful communication barriers on the other.’ (Kate Burridge)

‘Formal language features are always helpful and appropriate. They ensure social harmony and precise, straightforward communication at all times.’  Do you agree?


Formal language choices play an important part in establishing courteous, polite relationships in society. Politically correct language and euphemisms allow users to avoid offense and navigate around taboo topics. Similarly, politeness strategies assist one in maintaining a negative face therefore uphold social harmony. However, it is a vast overstatement to say that these features are always helpful. When used outside its intended domain, jargon is anything but appropriate, as a specific lexicon can ostracise outsiders. Furthermore, when euphemisms are misused to obfuscate the truth through doublespeak, they completely prevent straightforward communication.

While jargon does allow for precision and straightforward communication, it is not always used appropriately, and therefore is not always helpful. Jargon is only effective when used in a relative domain, and in some cases cannot be avoided. For example, Mary O’Callaghan pointed out the need for subject specific lexemes in cricket. Without noun phrases such as “silly mid-on” and “leg byes”, cricketers and fans alike would struggle to effectively and efficiently communicate. Furthermore, medical professionals require jargon, especially in situations where time is valuable. Medical jargon such as the initialism “ECG” (electrocardiogram), specific semantic meaning of “acute” and the shortening ‘prem’ (premature) allows for brevity and accuracy in high pressure scenarios. However, these terms are not always helpful, and can cause confusion when used for the wrong audience and context. Linguist Baden Eunsen stated that “jargon can go over to the dark side when it is so ‘dense’ that outsiders have difficulty understanding it”. Terori Hareko-Samios experienced this ‘dark side’ of jargon after she was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome and struggled to make light of the complex medical jargon used to explain her condition. Even the initialism used to refer to the syndrome, ‘PCOS’, displays the dense nature of in-group jargon to outsiders. Hareko-Samios reflected on her confusion, stating “it was again that frustration of not being able to access information I could relate to”. Her frustration escalated to the extent where she wrote a pamphlet outlining the illness in plain language for other women. Moreover, research by Dr Mark Siddins revealed that less than 20% of patient forms were written in ‘plain English’, a statistic which Siddins believes displays the shortcomings of medical forms in their informative function. He stated that ‘the use of the technical jargon and acronyms on patient forms is unacceptable”, displaying his frustration at the use of such inappropriate uses of formal language. It is therefore clear to see that while jargon can be extremely beneficial to effective and efficient communication, it is not always helpful when used outside its specific domain.

Euphemisms are similar to jargon in that they can provide a means to uphold social harmony. Euphemisms also provide a basis for politically correct language. Positive euphemisms allow the user to navigate through taboo and avoid offense by using vaguer, milder and more indirect terms, and as Josephine Tovey stated, “for many, gentle words can ease the experience’. For example, the taboo topic of bodily functions was avoided by a tampon ad through use of the initialism ‘LBL’ in the place of ‘light bladder leakage’. This term allowed the advertiser to distance themselves from the awkwardness of the topic, while still communicating effectively and clearly. Another example is how channel 7 commentators referred to footballer Mitch Clark’s depression as a ‘long term battle with personal issues’. The use of a metaphorical post modified prepositional phrase allowed the commentators to avoid directly addressing the sensitive issue of depression, and hence prevent any offense to viewers. Furthermore, euphemisms allow users to remain politically correct by staying in line with what is socially viewed to be acceptable, and shows sensitivity and respect to serious topics such as disability, racism and religion while encouraging an attitude of tolerance and acceptance. An example of such language can be found the Diabetes Victoria Guidelines, which suggest that the politically correct "person with diabetes" should be used in the place of "diabetic". Use of the prepositional phrase "with diabetes" distances the person from their illness, rather than referring to them with the noun "diabetic" which shows a lack of respect and labels them as their disease, and not as a person. Furthermore, by using vague noun phrases such as "the festive season" instead of "Christmas Season" and "Citizens Day" instead of "Australia Day", users can avoid offense and uphold social concordance.

However, it would be incorrect to say that all euphemisms and jargon ensure social harmony and clear meaning, as euphemistic, jargon filled corporate speak has no distinct purpose but to make the user seem more intelligent while doublespeak euphemisms serve only to obfuscate and manipulate. Corporate buzz words like ‘blue sky thinking’, ‘synergy’ and ‘corporate values’ are thrown around offices with no true meaning, and do not contribute to effective communication. This language has even made its way into other domains, which results in widespread confusion and frustration. An example of this is evident in a sign used to direct residents to their local “neighbourhood safer place” in the event of a fire. This unnecessary corporate jargon was made all the more confusing as the sign only displayed the initialism “NSP”. The CFA were criticised by the Royal Commission for their language choice on the sign, being told they should have been more “frank and meaningful”. This statement portrays how unclear formal language can be when used incorrectly. On the other hand, double speak is not language used to show off, but is a malicious avoidance of the truth. By using an extremely specific lexis and long winded, euphemistic sentences, users can avoid honesty, at the cost of quality communication. The West Australian Government used doublespeak to minimise backlash over their planned shark cull by referring to the cull with the dense noun phrase “localised shark mitigation strategy”. The use of a noun phrase and avoidance of the negative connotations of ‘cull’ helped distance the Government from their actions in an attempt to manipulate and hide the truth. Another example of deliberate doublespeak through euphemism is ‘revitalise with redundancies’, a term used by Fairfax Media to refer to sackings. This phrase uses the positive connotations of the verb “revitalise” rather than “sack”, which helps to minimise the negative effects associated with the firings.

While formal language features such as jargon and euphemism undoubtedly contribute to social harmony and understanding when used appropriately, it would be incorrect to claim that formal language features are always helpful. When used in the wrong context, jargon and corporate speak provide no benefit for communication. Doublespeak, on the other hand, only serves to obfuscate and manipulate, and is truly detrimental to any meaning of a discourse. It is to be hoped that formal language features can be used correctly, and only to increase clarity and efficiency of communication and to maintain social harmony.


Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: biy on May 16, 2015, 09:52:34 pm
Hey guys which year of the exam would be best to practice before a sac? Got mine in two weeks time :3
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: cbeaumont97 on September 26, 2015, 06:49:21 pm
Hey guise, Im new to this, could someone please mark my essay  ;D ;D ;D ;D

These days, we are far more tolerant of taboo language; It no longer has the power to shock or offend. Discuss.

It is often assumed that taboo topics are no longer relevant to contemporary Australian society, as we have seemingly developed to adapt the liberal views of the 21st century, however this is not the case, as the existence of taboos still heavily dictates our language use. To combat the existence of these taboos and to still address them without impacting on social harmony, we employ politically correct language and use euphemisms; this can be seen in many domains such as the workplace. The intolerance of taboo language in contemporary Australian society is also highlighted by the fact that we strike and berate any group that threatens to use this language to denigrate certain groups. Although we consider taboo language to be distasteful, we still use it tactfully to help combat issues in society.

We are heavily intolerant of taboo language at times and are prepared to strike down on groups that use it to intentionally offend. During the 2010 Tri-Nations rugby game, Australian Swimmer Stephanie Rice used the dysphemistic lexeme “faggots” to refer to the South African Rubgy team during a tweet. This caused an immediate uproar within the Australian community who were appalled by her lack of sensitivity to the LGBTI community, Rice then attempted to redact her statement by claiming that it was a case of playful banter, this claim was quickly quashed by the public who were still outraged. This incident helps to shed light into the mind of contemporary society, who felt that Rice went over line with the taboo language, and is evidence that taboo language is still not accepted in society, as it is seem as a threat to breaking our current state of social harmony. This is not an isolated instance of the community breaking out against the public use of taboo language, as another uproar occurred earlier this year when Australia right wing extremists used racist language to denigrate the Islamic community. In this case, the Australian public escalated the matter to a physical one and caused multiple riots speaking out against the extremist groups. The occurrence of these of these riots acted to show that the Australian public is prepared to fight the use of taboo language to signify Australia’s multicultural heritage and that taboo language isn’t considered prestigious in Australian society. Although taboo language isn’t considered overtly prestigious, we often mask it with euphemisms or politically correct language to make it more prestigious.

Our intolerance of taboo topics and language can be seen through the use of euphemism. Many blue collar occupations in Australia can often involve taboos, such as human faeces, these taboos can often be disguised through the use of euphemisms such as ‘biosolid reclaimation’ to refer to the treatment of human excrement. The use of the euphemism helps to address the requirements of the job without causing offence as the act of handling faecal matter is tended to be looked down upon in contemporary Australian society. Furthermore, the use of euphemism shows that we do not tolerate the use of taboos and often hide it in “diplomatic cologne” (Quentin Crisp). This use of politically correct language in occupations can be further extended to gender. Many occupations such as service ones once used different names to refer to different genders in a certain job such as: waiter and waitress, to reduce any offence caused, the gender neutral suffix –person is used. This can be seen in a recent QANTAS job advertisement, where the position of flight attendant was being advertised. The deliberate use of the gender neutral suffix shows that we are not tolerant of using taboo language that discriminates against genders. Taboo language is often tolerated when used tactfully.

Although taboo language is considered as distasteful by society, it is still used in certain contexts where it is deemed appropriate. Public health campaigns need to reach out to their targeted audience, and in some contexts, this can only be achieved through the use of taboo language. This can be seen in the use of profane lexemes and a broad Australian in the TAC’s road safety messages. The combined use of these features enables the TAC to diminish social distance with the audience. Although it is criticized by many as being taboo and tacky, it is considered on a whole as a tactful use of taboo language as it has worked and saved many lives.

In conclusion, taboo language is not accepted and tolerated in society as it threatens social harmony, but this issue is mainly a context based one, as it is still tolerated in various domains, notably, public health.

NOTE: Aiming to get over 35, will that be possible?
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: odeaa on September 26, 2015, 09:17:09 pm
Hey guise, Im new to this, could someone please mark my essay  ;D ;D ;D ;D

Here you go

NB: It's my first time marking an essay, and I'm not a high authority in englang so dont take my word as gospel. Your teacher should always be your first port of call

Also, did the prompt have any stimuli with it? If so, it's crucial to include them in your essay

Give me some feedback on my feedback if you can! ahah
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: cbeaumont97 on September 26, 2015, 09:33:39 pm
If you were my teacher I'd get a 50 for sure  :D, Thanks for the clear and concise advice, I'll be sure to work on it!
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: kiddoes on October 25, 2015, 10:32:08 pm
Hey all! Could one of you kind souls mark this essay for me, please? Thank you  :)
(There were no prompts, this was a topic sentence written for me by my teacher a while ago.)

Informality, independence, parochialism and profanity are accurate descriptions of Australian English. Discuss.

Any language variety is defined by the culture that uses it. Australian culture does place a heavy emphasis on the egalitarian side of language - it utilizes slang and profanity to attend to positive face and discuss taboo topics whilst retaining cultural independence from Britain. However, Australian English has and continues to shed the mantle of narrow-minded views, as shown by social scandals and campaigns that threaten a particular group being shunned by wider society. Australian English may be informal and independent, but it does not reflect parochial ideologies.

Australian English’s slang lexicon is widely recognized, and for good reason. Australia’s lexis is largely defined by its informality, and by the acceptability of this informality in a variety of contexts, both situational and cultural. These features of Australian English include diminutives, shortenings and profanity. Shortenings and diminutives allow words to “sound familiar, everyday and common” (Anne Wierzbicka), and their use heightens the informality of a concept or context by reducing social distance between the user and whomever is referenced. This can be a fellow interlocutor (e.g. “Johnno”, “Cookie” for last name ‘Cook’), or someone of a higher status in the context (e.g. “pollie” —> politician), in both cases attending to positive face needs by intimating intimacy between users. The familiarization of these words using suffixation displays the informality common to Australian English. In a similar contextual concept, the use of profanity across domains also displays the Australian penchant for informality. Swearing is utilized to lower social distance between interlocutors and defined the presence of intimacy, such as by someone in a friendship circle calling another a “f•cking nerd” (as is the case in my own circle of peers) as an intimate vocative. Swearing is also used to promote relevance of taboo topics to the wider Australian public, such as in the 2015 national domestic violence campaign featuring slogans such as “she pissed me off so I hit her”. This judicious use of profanity made the ad much less formal and so connected the action of the perpetrator to the Australian lexicon and, thus, the ad to the Australian public as a whole. Informality makes up a large part of Australia’s linguistic culture - it promotes egalitarianism, “mateship” and serves many context-specific purposes in Australia. Thus, “informality” and “profanity” can be said to define Australian English.

Australia establishes its cultural identity through many linguistic methods. The current prevalence of the General Australian accent (as defined on the continuum by Mitchell and Delbridge) is one way that Australians demonstrate a conscious separation of their national identity from Britain’s historical grip. The development of an accent alternative to the British-imposed Cultivated accent in the 1800’s led to the Broad accent, characterized by nasal vowels (e.g. /a/ in “bad”, prevalence of schwa /ǝ/) and diphthongization. However, the negative cultural stereotypes affecting Cultivated (e.g. that of affectation, British —> ‘un-Australian’) began to affect the Broad accent in an opposing way due to its similar extremity in sound (also an ‘affectation’). As a result of these separate cultural cringes, the General accent is the majority accent (~80% of population) employed by Australians. Although its use does not carry the distinctive sound system of the Broad accent, its phonology is still distinct from that of Britain, retaining nasal vowels to a lesser extent and the non-rhoticism of Broad. In this way, Australians are “quite happy to express ourselves using the accent we have” (Felicity Cox), having left behind the “need for extreme sounds” (Peter Moore) whilst still retaining a uniquely Australian accent category. The dropping prevalence of Cultivated (only ~5% of Australian English speakers utilize this accent category) alongside the majority stake of the General accent thus prove the “independence” inherent in Australian English’s phonology.

Australian English is quite inherently casual, due to attitudes towards swearing and the necessity of casuality in order to obey social standards of “fitting in”. However, the casual bent to its lexicon does not reflect parochialism in the language - most features displaying exclusionary ideologies have been removed or are swiftly removed when encountered by the wider Australian public. Cultural context inform a user of what is culturally sensitive and appropriate in the given circumstances. When Australian users attempt to utilize Australian English features in a way that violates taboo semantic fields and politeness principles surrounding them, face is threatened and social cohesion is broken. An example of this is prior PM Tony Abbott’s 2015 remark of “sh*t happens” in response to the news of Australian soldiers dying overseas. Tony Abbott’s usage of informal Australian slang phrase “shit happens” gave the death of the soliders no weight and, thus, no respect. This was not a culturally sensitive remark as Australia’s culture and history often glorifies and mythologizes the military, and not to acknowledge this cultural idea was in violation of the majority of the public’s beliefs. Similarly, when Professor Barry Spurr utilized Australian derogatory vocatives “Mussies” and “chinky-poos” in 2014-15 email correspondences, public backlash forced his University to suspend him. The violation of authority position by utilizing a formal, professional channel to employ slurs offended the face needs of a multiculturalism-valuing Australian public. Although nothing is taboo “for all people, under all circumstances, all of the time”  (Kate Burridge), there are semantic fields and cultural contexts that have to be considered by Australian interlocutors to avoid negating social harmony. The presence of these social backlashes to linguistic violations demonstrates Australia’s growth out of “parochialism”.

Australian English, like any language variety, cannot be easily defined in a few simple adjectives. However, it can be stated that Australian English displays features of a hypocoristic, informal language, has unique sound systems, and displays modern views on what is and is not socially acceptable in a given context. Australian English is sometimes informal, sometimes profane, always independent, and only parochial through individual mouths.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: karlarajic on July 24, 2016, 01:51:46 pm
Hi :) Could someone please mark this essay for me?
Thanks in advance!

‘Australians must consistently balance their pride in the distinctiveness of their language with the cultural cringe that accompanies it.’

Australians have always been a proud people and an aspect of their laid-back identity goes hand in hand with the way they use their language. However, accompanying this is the long history of the discrimination of Australian speakers, their accent being marked as undesirable which gave rise to programs such as elocution classes. However, as time moved on, attitudes towards Australian English have change, more and more people becoming proud of their origins. Characteristics of the Australian English dialect are its distinctiveness and individuality in comparison to other dialects of the English language, the pride that the users carry but also the cultural cringe surrounding it.
There has always been a certain distinctiveness that accompanies the Australian English accent and dialect. The features that are to be explored are taken from the Broad and General Australians accents, the Cultivated being much more like the British Received Pronunciation (RP). The Australian accent is considered to be a ‘lazy accent’ and it’s mostly in the pronunciation of vowel phonemes. The assimilation of many vowel sounds into the schwa is evident, (‘good day’ being pronounced as /gƏdæj/) and this is due to the lack of movement of the tongue, being described as ‘lying over an exercise ball’ (Rachel Griffiths) and the lowering and relaxation of the soft palate. The Australian accent is also non-rhotic, the /r/ phoneme only being pronounced if a consonant sound comes after it. This feature of the language landed Australian politician Julia Gillard in hot water after introducing then Prime Minister Tony Abbot as /mIstƏbɅt/. A distinctive feature of Australian English is the formation of diminutives such as ‘truckie’, word of the year 2013 ‘Selfie’ and ‘cuppa’. Once, these features of Australian English were frowned upon in a period in history called the cultural cringe.
‘The commonest general (and rather sweeping) criticisms of Australian speech are: (a) it’s ugly; (b) I’s lazy and slovenly; (c) it’s nasal;…’ This quote from Arthur Mitchell in 1945 sums up the movement called the ‘cultural cringe’. The Cultural Cringe was a time in history were the Australian English dialect and accent were frowned upon by society and lasted until the 1950’s. A program introduced to ‘correct’ this flaw was elocution classes in which students would learn to pronounce words in RP, the accent of Britain. Up until the 1960’s, the radio presenters spoke with a British accent because the Australian accent was considered too harsh and undesirable, Australian icon Banjo Patterson even being turned down from being a radio presenter because of his accent. There was definitely a stigma attached to the Broad Australian accent as it was closely associated with the education of an individual, those who were well educated typically having the cultivated accent that was achieved through strict elocution lessons. The cultural revolution occurred in the 1960’s and 70’s in which the stigma surrounding the Australian accent diminished. Along with this change in ideals came the codification of Australian English with the first Australian governor general appointed in 1965, the introduction of radio presenters with Australian accents appearing in 1980 and the construction of the first Australian English dictionary in 1981. Although this Cultural Revolution did occur, there are still certain stigmas that are attached to the Broad accent. This had given rise to more people using the General Australian accent, an accent that avoids the stigma surrounding the Broad accent but still portrays their Australian identity. A distinctive characteristic of the Australian people is the fact that they are proud of their origins.
After the Cultural Revolution, more and more people began being proud of their origins and further display this through their accent. Shortly after this period in time, there was an exponential increase in the amount of songs and film that celebrated and embraced the Australian identity. Some of these songs include ‘Down Under’ by Men at Work and ‘Still call Australia home’ by Peter Allen both songs were released in the 1980’s. In recent times, there has been a boost in Australian films that have been created such as ‘Australia’ (2008) and ‘Red Dog’ (2011) in which the actors (mostly Australian actors) used their native accent. Although there has been an increase in pride, there has also been a decrease in people using Australian diminutives (according to research conducted by Macquarie University). Not to fear, because this isn’t a sign that the Australian accent and dialect is diminishing due to foreign influences, it is just changing. There are less people using quintessentially Australian lexemes such as ‘strewth’ and ‘flamin’ mongrel’ being used as Tony Thorne, author of the ‘Dictionary of Contemporary Slang’ has said. But this doesn’t mean that the Australian English dialect is dying out, it is simply adopting slang terminology from Britain and the US and evolving. Cate Blanchett is a contemporary example of an actor that speaks in an Australian accent and is proud to use it. In her Oscar’s acceptance speech that took place in 2014, she speaks in her native general Australian accent and also talks about her pride of being an Australian.
Long sought after pride after a period of time when the Australian accent was deemed ‘undesirable’ is something that Australians couple with making an identity for themselves in the distinctiveness of their accent.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: zsteve on July 24, 2016, 05:16:33 pm
Hi karlarajic,
Night before uni starts so I was feeling generous :P. I've marked your essay and given it a mark /15, although I wouldn't take the marking seriously (both because you're only starting, and also because Englang isn't my strong point so I'm probably far from accurate).

Good try! Keep it up and you'll improve very quickly I'm sure.

The main thing that stood out was that you needed to include analysis of your examples and relate them to the prompt.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: karlarajic on July 25, 2016, 05:29:47 pm
Thank you so much for the very quick turn around!
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: karlarajic on July 28, 2016, 09:38:07 pm
Hi, this is my third English Language 3/4 Essay. Could someone please mark this ASAP. My SAC is on MOnday and I'd like to see how i'm fairing :)

Australian English is distinctive from other varieties of English in a couple of ways. Discuss.
Australian English is a distinctive variety of the English language. It has a lot of colourful lexis adopted from other languages, a feature which makes it very distinctive. As well as this, Australian English is very distinctive in the ways of accent and phonology, the pronunciation of certain phonemes creating the very original sounding language. As well as this, certain ethnolects such as Aboriginal English derive from Australian English which makes it very distinctive variety.
The Standard forms of Englishes around the world are very much homogenous. A study conducted by world-renowned linguist David Crystal in which he collected newspapers from English speaking countries and compared them proves that this is true. However, there are lexical differences that are present in the Australian English standard, words that are codified but not used in other English speaking countries. Some examples of these words include ‘footpath’ for the American ‘sidewalk’ and British ‘pavement’, the Australian ‘highway’ for the American ‘interstate’ and ‘capsicum’ for ‘pepper’ or ‘bell pepper’. Another feature that makes the Australian Standard different to its international counterparts is the use of codified Aboriginal lexis. Some instances of the use of this lexis includes ‘billabong’ and collocated phrases such as ‘out in the mulga’. Whereas other national varieties may have adopted phrases and lexis from their aboriginal counterparts, the use of the Australian indigenous lexis makes the Standard Australian lexis especially different. This being said, non-standard features produce much more distinctiveness compared to the Standard.
It is known that the Australian accent differs amongst different social and regional groups within the country itself. The Australian Accent is measured on a continuum which includes (with a famous example) the Cultivated (Malcom Turnbull), General (Hugh Jackman), Broad (Pauline Hanson) and the Ethnic Broad (Bernard Tomic). An example of this is the distinctiveness between the rural and urban speakers, the farther inland you travel, the more non-standard phonological features would be used. An example of this are the phonological characteristics of the Broad Australian accent to be slower, have a farther distance between the start and endpoints of diphthongal sounds and the /t/ phoneme to be pronounced as a /d/ or is ‘flapped’. An example of someone in the public arena to use the Broad Accent proudly is politician Julia Gillard, who is also often criticised for her accent.
There are also dialectal features that are distinctive of the Australian variety. Some include non-standard grammatical features such as the use of exclusively Australian colloquialisms and lexis such as ‘Aussie salute’ for the brushing away of flies with the hand and ‘wet blanket’ for someone who dampens a good time or mood. These lexemes are also reflective of such Australian values as laconicness and anti-authoritarianism. There is also a morphological feature used solely by Australians and that is the use and creation of diminutives. Diminutives typically have an ‘-o’ or ‘-ie’ ending, such as ‘truckie’ or ‘servo’ but some diminutives have ‘-a’ endings such as ‘cuppa’. This shortening of words factors in the anti-intellectualism of the Australian people, as well as their laid-back and laconic nature. Grammatical features distinctive of non-standard Australian dialects include the use of double negatives (‘I never said nothing’), the use of ‘don’t’ in place of ‘doesn’t’ (‘ ‘E don’t run away with it, you see?’) and the sentence-final hedging ‘but’ (‘He’s a bit of a bastard but’).  These features are typically utilised in the non-standard varities of Australian English and make this variety distinctive.
Aboriginal English is a distinctive ethnolect which is a product of the fusion of English and influences from the traditional Aboriginal languages. Aboriginal English began as pidgins which are simple languages made up of the content words of the socially dominant class (English) and the function words of the socially submissive language (the Aboriginal languages). Aboriginal English is spoken by many as an L1 and is used as a lingua franca between speakers of different Aboriginal languages. The Aboriginal English accent can vary from ‘light’ (close to General Australian) to ‘heavy’ (close to the sound of traditional Aboriginal languages) but most Aboriginal English speakers can adjust their speech along the accent continuum to suit their audience and situation.  Some striking non-standard characteristics of the Aboriginal English dialect that make it distinctive include the frequent absence of plural morphemes and sometimes, the double marking of plurals (‘Here come the childrens’). A common syntactic feature is the ellipsis of function words and the use of present tense lexemes where the past tense would usually be used. A phonological feature of Aboriginal English is the tendency to not distinguish between voiced and unvoiced consonants, an example being the pronunciation of ‘pub’ as /pƏp/. Just as with any ethnolect, speakers will often code-switch and use lexemes from their language other than English. Some examples of these words that often find their way into Aboriginal English are ‘yakka’ meaning ‘work’ and ‘gubba’ meaning ‘white man’. These features that are different to the standard form of Australian English make this a variety that is very distinctive.
The Australian English is very distinctive to other international counterparts. The use of original codified lexis, colourful non-standard dialect, a unique and distinctive accent and borrowings from ethnolects including Aboriginal English add to the rich tapestry of the language.

Thanks so much!
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Nandos787 on July 30, 2016, 04:09:47 pm
Hey Guys, this is my first time writing an essay. Can you guys please give me feedback and btw don't hold back as long as its constructive criticism.
Thanks Your help will be appreciated greatly.

Topic: - Nonstandard forms of English have intrinsic social significance, Discuss   

P;s Essay is not finished only half done, just wanted to get an idea on how to write one
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: zsteve on July 30, 2016, 06:37:27 pm
Hi, this is my third English Language 3/4 Essay. Could someone please mark this ASAP. My SAC is on MOnday and I'd like to see how i'm fairing :)

Australian English is distinctive from other varieties of English in a couple of ways. Discuss.
Australian English is a distinctive variety of the English language. It has a lot of colourful lexis adopted from other languages, a feature which makes it very distinctive. As well as this, Australian English is very distinctive in the ways of accent and phonology, the pronunciation of certain phonemes creating the very original sounding language. As well as this, certain ethnolects such as Aboriginal English derive from Australian English which makes it very distinctive variety.
The Standard forms of Englishes around the world are very much homogenous. A study conducted by world-renowned linguist David Crystal in which he collected newspapers from English speaking countries and compared them proves that this is true. However, there are lexical differences that are present in the Australian English standard, words that are codified but not used in other English speaking countries. Some examples of these words include ‘footpath’ for the American ‘sidewalk’ and British ‘pavement’, the Australian ‘highway’ for the American ‘interstate’ and ‘capsicum’ for ‘pepper’ or ‘bell pepper’. Another feature that makes the Australian Standard different to its international counterparts is the use of codified Aboriginal lexis. Some instances of the use of this lexis includes ‘billabong’ and collocated phrases such as ‘out in the mulga’. Whereas other national varieties may have adopted phrases and lexis from their aboriginal counterparts, the use of the Australian indigenous lexis makes the Standard Australian lexis especially different. This being said, non-standard features produce much more distinctiveness compared to the Standard.
It is known that the Australian accent differs amongst different social and regional groups within the country itself. The Australian Accent is measured on a continuum which includes (with a famous example) the Cultivated (Malcom Turnbull), General (Hugh Jackman), Broad (Pauline Hanson) and the Ethnic Broad (Bernard Tomic). An example of this is the distinctiveness between the rural and urban speakers, the farther inland you travel, the more non-standard phonological features would be used. An example of this are the phonological characteristics of the Broad Australian accent to be slower, have a farther distance between the start and endpoints of diphthongal sounds and the /t/ phoneme to be pronounced as a /d/ or is ‘flapped’. An example of someone in the public arena to use the Broad Accent proudly is politician Julia Gillard, who is also often criticised for her accent.
There are also dialectal features that are distinctive of the Australian variety. Some include non-standard grammatical features such as the use of exclusively Australian colloquialisms and lexis such as ‘Aussie salute’ for the brushing away of flies with the hand and ‘wet blanket’ for someone who dampens a good time or mood. These lexemes are also reflective of such Australian values as laconicness and anti-authoritarianism. There is also a morphological feature used solely by Australians and that is the use and creation of diminutives. Diminutives typically have an ‘-o’ or ‘-ie’ ending, such as ‘truckie’ or ‘servo’ but some diminutives have ‘-a’ endings such as ‘cuppa’. This shortening of words factors in the anti-intellectualism of the Australian people, as well as their laid-back and laconic nature. Grammatical features distinctive of non-standard Australian dialects include the use of double negatives (‘I never said nothing’), the use of ‘don’t’ in place of ‘doesn’t’ (‘ ‘E don’t run away with it, you see?’) and the sentence-final hedging ‘but’ (‘He’s a bit of a bastard but’).  These features are typically utilised in the non-standard varities of Australian English and make this variety distinctive.
Aboriginal English is a distinctive ethnolect which is a product of the fusion of English and influences from the traditional Aboriginal languages. Aboriginal English began as pidgins which are simple languages made up of the content words of the socially dominant class (English) and the function words of the socially submissive language (the Aboriginal languages). Aboriginal English is spoken by many as an L1 and is used as a lingua franca between speakers of different Aboriginal languages. The Aboriginal English accent can vary from ‘light’ (close to General Australian) to ‘heavy’ (close to the sound of traditional Aboriginal languages) but most Aboriginal English speakers can adjust their speech along the accent continuum to suit their audience and situation.  Some striking non-standard characteristics of the Aboriginal English dialect that make it distinctive include the frequent absence of plural morphemes and sometimes, the double marking of plurals (‘Here come the childrens’). A common syntactic feature is the ellipsis of function words and the use of present tense lexemes where the past tense would usually be used. A phonological feature of Aboriginal English is the tendency to not distinguish between voiced and unvoiced consonants, an example being the pronunciation of ‘pub’ as /pƏp/. Just as with any ethnolect, speakers will often code-switch and use lexemes from their language other than English. Some examples of these words that often find their way into Aboriginal English are ‘yakka’ meaning ‘work’ and ‘gubba’ meaning ‘white man’. These features that are different to the standard form of Australian English make this a variety that is very distinctive.
The Australian English is very distinctive to other international counterparts. The use of original codified lexis, colourful non-standard dialect, a unique and distinctive accent and borrowings from ethnolects including Aboriginal English add to the rich tapestry of the language.

Thanks so much!

Hi, took a look through your essay and made a few comments. Like your last one, it lacks quite a bit of analysis (although good work on what analysis was included!). A major point you could have included (i.e. half the essay could have been on this) was the implications and relationship of linguistic variation to identity.

All the best with your SAC! :)
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: thaliak on August 15, 2016, 05:32:20 pm
Hi, this is one of my practice essays for the Australian English area of study. My SAC is this week, please let me know what you think, thanks :)

“Language is a road map of a culture. It tells you where its people have come from and where they are going.” How does this apply to Australian English?

Former Prime Minister of Australia, John Howard, once said “nothing unites a country more than its common language because from a language comes a history and a culture.” Australian English has developed into one of the most multiculturally influenced languages in the world. This is as a result of the origins of Australian English and the many paths it has crossed with other nationalities. As well as this, the state of Australian English in the present day can determine what the language is likely to evolve into. The significant impact of the internet as well as the migration of several nationalities is promising a more globalised Australian English. Overall, the cultural identity reflected in Australian English demonstrates the origins of the English variety as well as the likelihood of where it is headed.

The history of Australian English has influenced the way Australian English exists today. The uniqueness of the Australian accent was initially created by the children who arrived on the First Fleet. This was called a ‘Foundation Accent’, which paved the way from the Australian accent to develop. The Australian gold rush that began in 1852 allowed Australian English to interact with several different nationalities in a way it never had before. Within this year, roughly 370,000 immigrants arrived in Australia, mainly from France, Italy, America, Hungary, and most prominently, China. In addition to this, many Australian slang terms were created during the gold rush, such as “drop on it” (meaning to come upon gold) and “new chum” (a novice digger). Furthermore, once Federation began in 1901, the White Australia Policy came into place. This was a policy that stated that non-European immigrants were not allowed to migrate into Australia. Although this excluded several continents, many European migrations still occurred, most prominently from Germany, Greece and Italy. This slowly begun the development of ethnolects in Australia as these non-English speaking cultures segregated themselves from the English speaking individuals to explore their common grounds with one another, in suburbs such as Grovedale, Oakleigh. Moreover, the increasing need for Australians to validate themselves in the global scale created the desire to admire the British culture and thus speak with highly cultivated accents. This is what is known now as the ‘cultural cringe’, which caused the majority of the Australian population, as well as the rest of the world, to perceive their accent as a “lazy accent” and thus adopt the methods of the British accent. This resulted in elocution classes taking place in primary schools, so children could develop cultivated accents rather than general or broad accents. During 1968-1972, the ‘cultural revolution’ begun, which taught Australians to embrace their unique accent and create their own national identity, instead of following in the steps of the British. This may have been heavily influenced by the leader of the Labor Party at the time, Gough Whitlam, who was one of the first Australian members of Parliament, and later Prime Ministers, to promote a general Australian accent. As well as this, Whitlam also transformed the rights of Indigenous Australians, such as allowing them to reclaim their native land. This also developed the Aboriginal English ethnolect that was previously disregarded and mistreated by non-Indigenous Australians. Overall, the events that occurred in Australian history has contributed to the present state of Australian English

The stature of Australian English presently is as a result of its past, and can be used to determine the future of the language. Australia, as explored by Dr Patricia Edgar, is “developing a complex and diverse multicultural society that is a unique social experiment in the world.” This is evident in the several ethnolects and presence of bilingualism in this country. Also reported by Dr Patricia Edgar, “around three million Australians speak a language other than English at home.”, which clearly demonstrates the effect immigration has had on our country. As well as this, a high majority of primary and secondary schools in Australia teach a language other than English as part of their curriculums. This demonstrates a crossing of paths between Australian English and several other languages, showing that the English variety is vulnerable to being influenced by other languages. Moreover, Australian slang has become a prominent part of the daily vocabulary of an Australian. This includes unique lexemes, such as “stoked” (to mean pleased) and “piece of piss” (to mean easy). In addition to this, diminutives are a major element of the Australian identity, as shown in examples such as “arvo” and “brekkie”, which are truncated versions of lexemes used in everyday vocabulary in several cultures around the world. Diminutives are embraced by Australians, as made evident in the Vodaphone television advertisement “know where to go before the cabbie does”. This resembles the laid-back attitude Australians hold, as well as the strong association Australian English has with diminutives. This can be proven through the origin of the globally-used diminutive “selfie” which originated on Australian internet forum post in 2002. This also highlights the influence of technology and the internet on Australian English. Furthermore, Australian English demonstrates the history of the Australian culture as well as the future of it.

With the increasing prevalence of technology, the internet and multiculturalism in Australia, the future of Australian English is likely to be one that is very globalised. This can be seen as a negative transformation, as explored by BBC broadcaster John Humphrys with “texters savage out sentences, pillage our punctuation and rape our vocabulary.” This refers to the non-standard language features of technology, such as acronyms/initialisms “lol” (laugh out loud) and “atm” (at the moment), which are used all around the world, including Australia. These features are viewed as informal and are frequently used in Australian culture. As well as this, technology has resulted in neologisms in Australian culture, as made evident in “taking a selfie” and “do you want to uber there?”. Yet again, these features of language are not unique to Australian English, but still occur within the language, demonstrating the growing globalisation of the English variety. Additionally, the growing multiculturalism in Australia, as well as the continuous demand for English to be spoken, is resulting in many new lexemes being borrowed from other languages and being commonly used in Australian English. A recent example of this is the “halal snack pack”, which is borrowed from Arabic. This exemplifies how Australian English is evolving and growing due to the interactions it has with other languages and cultures. Overall, the influence of modern technology and multiculturalism is shaping Australia to become a globalised society, and thus a globalised variety of English.

Ultimately, Australian English demonstrates the heritage of the nation as well as where it is heading. Through key events in history, Australian English has developed into the English variety it is today. As well as this, the features of Australian English presently can help us to predict the future of the language. Overall, the past and the new realms of the Australian culture is reflected in its language.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: strawberry7898 on September 03, 2016, 07:37:58 pm
Hi, this is one of my practice essays for the Australian English area of study. My SAC is this week, please let me know what you think, thanks :)

“Language is a road map of a culture. It tells you where its people have come from and where they are going.” How does this apply to Australian English?

Former Prime Minister of Australia, John Howard, once said “nothing unites a country more than its common language because from a language comes a history and a culture.” Australian English has developed into one of the most multiculturally influenced languages in the world. This is as a result of the origins of Australian English and the many paths it has crossed with other nationalities. As well as this, the state of Australian English in the present day can determine what the language is likely to evolve into. The significant impact of the internet as well as the migration of several nationalities is promising a more globalised Australian English. Overall, the cultural identity reflected in Australian English demonstrates the origins of the English variety as well as the likelihood of where it is headed.

The history of Australian English has influenced the way Australian English exists today. The uniqueness of the Australian accent was initially created by the children who arrived on the First Fleet. This was called a ‘Foundation Accent’, which paved the way from the Australian accent to develop. The Australian gold rush that began in 1852 allowed Australian English to interact with several different nationalities in a way it never had before. Within this year, roughly 370,000 immigrants arrived in Australia, mainly from France, Italy, America, Hungary, and most prominently, China. In addition to this, many Australian slang terms were created during the gold rush, such as “drop on it” (meaning to come upon gold) and “new chum” (a novice digger). Furthermore, once Federation began in 1901, the White Australia Policy came into place. This was a policy that stated that non-European immigrants were not allowed to migrate into Australia. Although this excluded several continents, many European migrations still occurred, most prominently from Germany, Greece and Italy. This slowly begun the development of ethnolects in Australia as these non-English speaking cultures segregated themselves from the English speaking individuals to explore their common grounds with one another, in suburbs such as Grovedale, Oakleigh. Moreover, the increasing need for Australians to validate themselves in the global scale created the desire to admire the British culture and thus speak with highly cultivated accents. This is what is known now as the ‘cultural cringe’, which caused the majority of the Australian population, as well as the rest of the world, to perceive their accent as a “lazy accent” and thus adopt the methods of the British accent. This resulted in elocution classes taking place in primary schools, so children could develop cultivated accents rather than general or broad accents. During 1968-1972, the ‘cultural revolution’ begun, which taught Australians to embrace their unique accent and create their own national identity, instead of following in the steps of the British. This may have been heavily influenced by the leader of the Labor Party at the time, Gough Whitlam, who was one of the first Australian members of Parliament, and later Prime Ministers, to promote a general Australian accent. As well as this, Whitlam also transformed the rights of Indigenous Australians, such as allowing them to reclaim their native land. This also developed the Aboriginal English ethnolect that was previously disregarded and mistreated by non-Indigenous Australians. Overall, the events that occurred in Australian history has contributed to the present state of Australian English

The stature of Australian English presently is as a result of its past, and can be used to determine the future of the language. Australia, as explored by Dr Patricia Edgar, is “developing a complex and diverse multicultural society that is a unique social experiment in the world.” This is evident in the several ethnolects and presence of bilingualism in this country. Also reported by Dr Patricia Edgar, “around three million Australians speak a language other than English at home.”, which clearly demonstrates the effect immigration has had on our country. As well as this, a high majority of primary and secondary schools in Australia teach a language other than English as part of their curriculums. This demonstrates a crossing of paths between Australian English and several other languages, showing that the English variety is vulnerable to being influenced by other languages. Moreover, Australian slang has become a prominent part of the daily vocabulary of an Australian. This includes unique lexemes, such as “stoked” (to mean pleased) and “piece of piss” (to mean easy). In addition to this, diminutives are a major element of the Australian identity, as shown in examples such as “arvo” and “brekkie”, which are truncated versions of lexemes used in everyday vocabulary in several cultures around the world. Diminutives are embraced by Australians, as made evident in the Vodaphone television advertisement “know where to go before the cabbie does”. This resembles the laid-back attitude Australians hold, as well as the strong association Australian English has with diminutives. This can be proven through the origin of the globally-used diminutive “selfie” which originated on Australian internet forum post in 2002. This also highlights the influence of technology and the internet on Australian English. Furthermore, Australian English demonstrates the history of the Australian culture as well as the future of it.

With the increasing prevalence of technology, the internet and multiculturalism in Australia, the future of Australian English is likely to be one that is very globalised. This can be seen as a negative transformation, as explored by BBC broadcaster John Humphrys with “texters savage out sentences, pillage our punctuation and rape our vocabulary.” This refers to the non-standard language features of technology, such as acronyms/initialisms “lol” (laugh out loud) and “atm” (at the moment), which are used all around the world, including Australia. These features are viewed as informal and are frequently used in Australian culture. As well as this, technology has resulted in neologisms in Australian culture, as made evident in “taking a selfie” and “do you want to uber there?”. Yet again, these features of language are not unique to Australian English, but still occur within the language, demonstrating the growing globalisation of the English variety. Additionally, the growing multiculturalism in Australia, as well as the continuous demand for English to be spoken, is resulting in many new lexemes being borrowed from other languages and being commonly used in Australian English. A recent example of this is the “halal snack pack”, which is borrowed from Arabic. This exemplifies how Australian English is evolving and growing due to the interactions it has with other languages and cultures. Overall, the influence of modern technology and multiculturalism is shaping Australia to become a globalised society, and thus a globalised variety of English.

Ultimately, Australian English demonstrates the heritage of the nation as well as where it is heading. Through key events in history, Australian English has developed into the English variety it is today. As well as this, the features of Australian English presently can help us to predict the future of the language. Overall, the past and the new realms of the Australian culture is reflected in its language.


I know that it's a bit late for feedback now but I thought I'd reply anyway. You have shown knowledge of the history stuff, good use of relevant linguist quotes, but lacking in the contemporary examples area, "selfie" and "lol" are probably far too old and overdone now and as a result lack of focus on the future of Australian English. Maybe you could discuss something about changing language attitudes when you talk about the Halal Snack Pack in more detail to link it back to your John Humphrys quote, explaining that ethnolects are gaining popularity and some of the prescriptivist attitudes are changing. I can see that you are saying that, but make the link clearer by using metalanguage like prescriptivism, descriptivism, etc. As for the halal snack pack, explain some context behind it? In short, you needed to use more recent examples and metalanguage to improve the essay, for example you could talk about code switching and find a relevant example of it from a TV show, media personality, etc to add to your point on growing bilingualism. Hope that helps :)
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: annaleese1 on September 20, 2016, 11:17:17 am
hello i do not know how to use this so i hope im doing it right but anyway, feedback would be appreciated!!

The language we use is the best indicator of who we are, individually, socially and culturally. Discuss.

Intro: As language and identity are inextricably linked, the language we use is a vital marker of who we are individually, socially and culturally. Language reflects the multiple aspects of our identity that are all intertwined, however which face we choose to present is dependent on situational context.

BP 1: A snapshot of our individual identities can be provided at any one time, but does not holistically represent our entire identity. The particular lexis a person uses can reflect personal values, beliefs and attitudes. In the situation context of an interview with Julia Bishop (Foreign Affairs Minister), in 2015, discussing the solemn and serious issue of deaths from the MH17 flight, Eddie Maguire complies with the overt norms of Standard English and uses elevated lexemes. During the interview he says, ‘Julie, once again congratulations to you, your department and the Australian Government on the magnificent way that you’ve worked through these last 12 months’. This formal address and use of standard and polite conventions demonstrates that he is able to adhere to the formal language norms and ensure his language is appropriate for the formal nature of the discourse, and also in terms of his identity, represents his respect for the situation. In contrast to that snapshot of Eddie Maguire’s identity, in early 2016, during a discussion on his radio show he made a controversial comment towards journalist Caroline Wilson in order to establish group membership and something of a larrikin identity. He went on to say that if Caroline Wilson was to participate in the Big Freeze at the G where she would slide into a pool of freezing water, he would donate ’10 grand straight away, make it 20. And if she stays under, 50’. In this context, the discourse took place when Maguire was in the company of his friends, and reflects a less respectful aspect of his identity. Eddie then goes on to propose to his friends ‘Are you in?’. The prepositional phrase encourages responses from other interlocutors, and reflects an aspect of his identity that is not as formal. He also uses semantic patterning in the form of metaphor to describe Caroline Wilson as a ‘black widow’, which shows a lack of thoughtfulness regarding the social context of the situation. Therefore, language and identity are linked, but individual identity is fluid and multifacitated, all dependent on the situational context.

BP 2: Language is a pivotal marker of the Australian cultural identity. Specific lexical choices such as slang and diminutives, as well as Australia’s irreverent sense of humour signal an alliance to the Australian identity. Diminutives are of very common use in Australia, although they are informal, they are so widely used, they have become standard in some circumstances; even formal situations. Julia Bishop, is a big fan of the football and regularly refers to the sport in the diminutive form “footy”. This reflects that she has a laid-back, relaxed nature; much like the Australian identity. Slang language can be reflective of the Australian identity also, and is very much incorporated into a wide proportion of Australian’s lexis’.  It is not unusual to find a group of young Australians playing a game of ‘goon of fortune’, or your average Joe wearing ‘budgie smugglers’ out for their morning swim. By using these slang/colloquial terms, Australians are able to demonstrate their unity and relatable identity by using the playful language choices. According to one Reddit user, ‘if someone [Australians] starts taking the piss, they are being friendly and bringing the bants’; their light-hearted nature could be described as irreverent. Australian language possesses connotations of humour and playfulness, and as said by actress Joanna Lumley in her 2016 Australian premiere of Absolutely Fabulous ‘Australian’s are very hard to offend’.  However, Australians do get offended, generally over things like an ANZAC memorial being vandalised or when your ‘mate’ doesn’t shout you a round at the pub. This could be caused by Australia’s strong belief system in a ‘fair go’ and ‘mateship’.



BP 3: The language we use can assist in reflecting the multiple cultural identities we may have in a specific context, in a variety of situations. 18% of Australians are bilingual, and speak English as their second language. In the context of living in Australia however, being able to speak Standard Australian English is vital for being considered prestigious and taken seriously. Linda Burnley is Australia’s first Aboriginal women to be sworn into parliament. Due to her Indigenous background, she may use Aboriginal lexemes in order to stay true to her cultural roots. During her maiden speech in parliament, a traditional Aboriginal women sung Linda into her seat in the lower house in traditional Indigenous manner, displaying her connection to the Aboriginal culture. However, to be viewed as a powerful woman in parliament, she must comply with overt norms and code-switch to use Standard Australian English; as she is representing Australia in her seat in parliament. By using Standard Australian English, she is able to elevate herself and be powerful in that particular context of parliament.



Conc.: Language and identity are able to reflect the individual, social and cultural affiliations as they are so connected. However, it is context that enables us to present multiple identities.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: strawberry7898 on September 29, 2016, 09:48:10 am
hello i do not know how to use this so i hope im doing it right but anyway, feedback would be appreciated!!

The language we use is the best indicator of who we are, individually, socially and culturally. Discuss.

Intro: As language and identity are inextricably linked, the language we use is a vital marker of who we are individually, socially and culturally. Language reflects the multiple aspects of our identity that are all intertwined, however which face we choose to present is dependent on situational context.

BP 1: A snapshot of our individual identities can be provided at any one time, but does not holistically represent our entire identity. The particular lexis a person uses can reflect personal values, beliefs and attitudes. In the situation context of an interview with Julia Bishop (Foreign Affairs Minister), in 2015, discussing the solemn and serious issue of deaths from the MH17 flight, Eddie Maguire complies with the overt norms of Standard English and uses elevated lexemes. During the interview he says, ‘Julie, once again congratulations to you, your department and the Australian Government on the magnificent way that you’ve worked through these last 12 months’. This formal address and use of standard and polite conventions demonstrates that he is able to adhere to the formal language norms and ensure his language is appropriate for the formal nature of the discourse, and also in terms of his identity, represents his respect for the situation. In contrast to that snapshot of Eddie Maguire’s identity, in early 2016, during a discussion on his radio show he made a controversial comment towards journalist Caroline Wilson in order to establish group membership and something of a larrikin identity. He went on to say that if Caroline Wilson was to participate in the Big Freeze at the G where she would slide into a pool of freezing water, he would donate ’10 grand straight away, make it 20. And if she stays under, 50’. In this context, the discourse took place when Maguire was in the company of his friends, and reflects a less respectful aspect of his identity. Eddie then goes on to propose to his friends ‘Are you in?’. The prepositional phrase encourages responses from other interlocutors, and reflects an aspect of his identity that is not as formal. He also uses semantic patterning in the form of metaphor to describe Caroline Wilson as a ‘black widow’, which shows a lack of thoughtfulness regarding the social context of the situation. Therefore, language and identity are linked, but individual identity is fluid and multifacitated, all dependent on the situational context.

BP 2: Language is a pivotal marker of the Australian cultural identity. Specific lexical choices such as slang and diminutives, as well as Australia’s irreverent sense of humour signal an alliance to the Australian identity. Diminutives are of very common use in Australia, although they are informal, they are so widely used, they have become standard in some circumstances; even formal situations. Julia Bishop, is a big fan of the football and regularly refers to the sport in the diminutive form “footy”. This reflects that she has a laid-back, relaxed nature; much like the Australian identity. Slang language can be reflective of the Australian identity also, and is very much incorporated into a wide proportion of Australian’s lexis’.  It is not unusual to find a group of young Australians playing a game of ‘goon of fortune’, or your average Joe wearing ‘budgie smugglers’ out for their morning swim. By using these slang/colloquial terms, Australians are able to demonstrate their unity and relatable identity by using the playful language choices. According to one Reddit user, ‘if someone [Australians] starts taking the piss, they are being friendly and bringing the bants’; their light-hearted nature could be described as irreverent. Australian language possesses connotations of humour and playfulness, and as said by actress Joanna Lumley in her 2016 Australian premiere of Absolutely Fabulous ‘Australian’s are very hard to offend’.  However, Australians do get offended, generally over things like an ANZAC memorial being vandalised or when your ‘mate’ doesn’t shout you a round at the pub. This could be caused by Australia’s strong belief system in a ‘fair go’ and ‘mateship’.



BP 3: The language we use can assist in reflecting the multiple cultural identities we may have in a specific context, in a variety of situations. 18% of Australians are bilingual, and speak English as their second language. In the context of living in Australia however, being able to speak Standard Australian English is vital for being considered prestigious and taken seriously. Linda Burnley is Australia’s first Aboriginal women to be sworn into parliament. Due to her Indigenous background, she may use Aboriginal lexemes in order to stay true to her cultural roots. During her maiden speech in parliament, a traditional Aboriginal women sung Linda into her seat in the lower house in traditional Indigenous manner, displaying her connection to the Aboriginal culture. However, to be viewed as a powerful woman in parliament, she must comply with overt norms and code-switch to use Standard Australian English; as she is representing Australia in her seat in parliament. By using Standard Australian English, she is able to elevate herself and be powerful in that particular context of parliament.



Conc.: Language and identity are able to reflect the individual, social and cultural affiliations as they are so connected. However, it is context that enables us to present multiple identities.


The introduction sets the scene well for your essay as you place emphasis on changing identity and language depending on context but you could elaborate on this more, it's great that you continually link your discussion back to situational context. This comment is probably not that relevant but you may want to check over your spelling, "multifaceted" not "multifacitated" and incorrect use "women" in place of "woman". You really needed a specific example in your 2nd and 3rd paragraph but the  examples used for the 1st paragraph are good in the sense that they are recent and relevant to individual identity. The metalanguage you used for your second example "prepositional phrase, etc" is also good but there should have been more of this metalanguage throughout the essay. Body paragraph 2 lacked a link to the prompt and body paragraph 3 lacked an actual linguistic example, you needed to quote an example of Linda Burnley's speech in parliament and talk about its formality, as well as how she displays her identity as an Indigenous woman. This last bit isn't particularly necessary but you may find it helpful, there is a plethora of linguist quotes out there which you could use for an identity prompt like this one, you should be able to find plenty just browsing around on atarnotes alone, and a quote might add to the credibility of your essay or help you link or introduce your examples, some students aren't huge fans of using linguist quotes in essays but I feel like this essay is the perfect opportunity to use some. Good luck with Eng Lang, exam's coming up soon!
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: che0155 on September 30, 2016, 05:23:16 pm
Helloo, new to this, but could someone mark my essay?
Thank you :)

In both formal and informal situations, the boundaries between written and spoken language are becoming less distinct. To what extent is there still a place for both modes in Australia today?

The blurring of boundaries between written and spoken language has been occurring in both formal and informal situations. A major cause is the prevalence of e-communication, as discourse that is written now often includes conventions of speech. However, though the electronic medium may affect the boundaries between modes of language, register tends to be fairly rigid, as there are still contexts where e-communication is highly formal, and contexts when it is informal. Furthermore, despite the pervasiveness of e-communication a place for formal written contexts remains.  Furthermore, spoken language also remains of importance and hence, spoken and written language will always have its place in society, despite the increasing use of e-communication.

E-communication can be considered as any form of communication that occurs electronically including things such as texting, social media, emails and online forums. It has lead of the blurring of the boundaries between spoken and written language, and this is indicated when Crystal quotes characters explaining an email as “an electric letter” (written mode) or “a quiet phone call”. Furthermore, even in the context of an email, both informal and formal register may be used. An example is when an individual is emailing a stranger, such as a manager of a company, or a person of higher status such as a teacher or principal, a formal register is likely to be used, as indicated through the use of standard English, meaning complete sentences and standard capitalization, grammar and spelling.  In contrast, when an individual is emailing someone they have a close social relationship with, informal features, mimicking speech, such as onomatopoeia for laughing “hahah”, the use of capital letters “WHAT” to indicate an increase in volume. These features are intended to mimic the conventions of an informal spoken conversation. These features are intended to mimic the conventions of an informal spoken conversation. Technology has taken away some distinctiveness to the modes of language, but the register that is used even in the electronic medium is still easy to distinguish.

However, despite this widespread presence of the electronic medium, a place continues to remain for the written mode. This is because the written mode can bring about a formality that is too high to be done through the electronic medium. Certificates, such as birth certificates and death certificates are examples of written texts that must be printed and written. This is as written texts have the ability to bring about a sense of gravitas and seriousness that the electronic medium cannot recreate. Signage such as stop signs, warning signs, exit signs, signs with rules about going on a rollercoaster, is another example of written texts that had be be written in order for it to fulfil its function of informing people, as it physically needs to be in the location. The written mode also communicates “both care and deliberation” through things such as letters of condolences. It is evident that the written mode still has a place in society due to its ability to bring a greater sense of formality that the electronic medium cannot fully recreate.

The spoken mode of language is immediate, and despite the electronic medium having things such as “instant” messaging, nothing is ever as instant as spoken language. It is for this reason that spoken language remains, as it ensures communication in times of urgency. For example, when a family member has recently passed away, people will generally be called instead of texting, or emailed. When my mother is at the supermarket, and wants to know which cereal I want, she will most likely call me rather than text me, as she wishes for there to be an immediate reply. A spoken conversation is also more difficult to leave that a written conversation, such as texting, which is why telemarketers advertise through phone, as it is easy to avoid an advertisement via email or text, but it difficult to avoid a call, as it brings about a sense of urgency, to be answered. Hence, though electronic mediums such as texting and instant messaging aim to mimic speech, the immediacy of speech still cannot be fully addressed this way and therefore the spoken mode is still required.

Communication through technology has led to the blurring of boundaries between the modes of language. However, there has been a need for both informal and formal language in online contexts. Furthermore, despite the prevalence of e-communication there is still a place for both written and spoken language.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: karlarajic on October 10, 2016, 07:31:25 pm
Can I post my practice commentaries here as well as practice essays?
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: MB_ on October 10, 2016, 09:29:22 pm
Can I post my practice commentaries here as well as practice essays?

I've seen a few here before so I think it's ok
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Nandos787 on October 24, 2016, 10:07:34 pm
Hey Can you guys critique my analytical commentary.  :)
Engage Practice exam B section B

The following two text are transcripts based on the film 127 hours. The first transcript is a movie review which appeared on the TV Show “At the movies” by TV show hosts Margret and David. The main function the text is to provide a film review while the secondary function is to reflect expertise. The overall register of the discourse is formal which is often the case in a television show reviews. The spoken discourse within which the transcript reflects aspects of the speech being pre planned probably due to being on TV. The second transcript is one of two friends having a conversation after seeing the movie. They can be seeing reflecting their close social distance throughout the speech and have a much more informal approach compared to the TV host.

The main function of the show is to review the movie 127 hours but the transcript also reflects the secondary function of establishing their expertise and reflect the professional nature of their review. The two interlocutors Margret and David can be seen to use of variety of lexemes of Latinate origin such as “Culminate” (13) and “existential” (47). Through the use of these elevated lexemes the interlocutors increase the social distance as a more formal tone is created, enabling them to establish as sense of authority and create a more professional nature to the text. In addition David utilises Film Jargon within the spoken discourse such as “Cinematographer” (22) and “leading role” (17). Through the employment of jargon audience members may feel alienated further establishing his expertise. Inference is also use by both interlocutors to reflect their film expertise. This is demonstrated through David’s reference to film “Slum dog millionaire”  and Margret’s reference to the film “Buried”. This assist in the coherence of the speech as audience member gain understanding through their prior knowledge of the text. This also assist David and Margret’s function of establishing expertise as this reflects their prior knowledge and expertise in the film industry.

Being from a tv show the following transcript contains features that reflect that it’s scripted. This is seen through the smooth turn taking reflected in smooth turn taking the interlocutors Margret and David and the lack of non fluency features. This is to assis the coherence of the transcript which is viewed as being highly important aspects to the tv show. In addition both the interlocutor are seen to use formulaic utterances towards the end as they reach towards the end as they each rate the tv show using the formulaic utterances “I’m giving it four stars” The use of formulaic utterances futher reflect the speech is being scripted.

Compared to the initial transcript the second transcript contains a conversation between two friends after they watched the movie 127hours. This conversation contains a much more informal register . This is reflected through the use of shortenings such as “Defs” and the use of the lexeme “Totally” as an intensifier. This language is probably used as it is a casual conversation between peers and it may be used to reduce social distance.

In addition to the use of informal language the spoken discourse with the two friends reflect the spontaneity of their conversation. This is seen through the disorderly turn taking such as over lap “ (81) (82)” and “(97)(98)”. Through this the interlocutors reflect their close social distance.

BTW it was under timed conditions wasn't able to finish
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: babushka818 on October 26, 2016, 08:20:11 pm
this was the first essay I wrote this year, its awful and I'm terrible at this subject but please someone give me advice :(

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Formal language commonly aims to establish expertise and authority in the user. However, this is generally effectively solely in the public and professional sectors. These situational contexts are more attuned to building impersonal associations between individuals of varying status and position, through the use of jargon, elevated lexemes, nominalisations, passive sentence and predominantly imperative and declarative sentence types. In more casual circumstances, the need for maintaining a hierarchy is made redundant, as a relationship between the communicators has already been founded. Thus expertise and authority can still be exhibited in intimate relationships using non-Standard English and informal language mechanisms.

Formal language is undoubtedly highly effective in allowing those in fields of media, research and teaching to present ideas and knowledge in a concise, unambiguous manner. The information distributed is associated with accuracy, reliability and credibility, when given in conjunction with a formal register. Discourse of this type often heavily features elevated lexemes and semantic devices such as jargon and euphemism, and is completely devoid of slangs and colloquial terminology. This promotes the audience’s confidence in the proficiency of the user by indicating awareness and understanding of the technical language used in their profession. In May of 2016, an article was published, taking note of the several ways in which ‘groin injuries’ are euphemised in the media. Sports presenters and medical staff most commonly use indirect descriptions, including “below the belt”, “low blow” or “private area”, while controversially inappropriate terms such as “d**k” or “junk” are adamantly averted. The purpose of the former alternatives is to add seriousness to potential injury and also to establish professionalism, which cements their expertise. Various formal linguistic features are employed in professional contexts, with the intention of portraying expertise successfully.

In politics, formal language is constantly prevalent, though it serves to obfuscate and manipulate in addition to preserving status and adeptness. George Orwell commented that “political [language] is designed to make lies sounds truthful... and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind”. On the one hand, the political sector involves making decisions that don’t fully serve the community at large, while on the other, political leaders must appear to be acting in favour of the public in order to win their support. Australian writer Don Watson stated that “to take power is to win speech” and that is precisely how politicians use formal language to their advantage. They make extensive use of euphemisms and elevated lexemes to obfuscate the true intentions behind their actions, where budget cuts are presented in such a way that implies a benefit to the society when the reality is a detriment to the public. Politicians thrive on the employment of doublespeak. They “speak in buzz words and clichés because there can be no argument with words that have no meaning at their core”. Overused phrases and polysyllabic nominalisations assist governments in appearing knowledgeable, while they numb the public’s ability to comprehend their speech in order to persuade them. In 2003, Franz Luntz advised political representatives of America to switch the term ‘global warming’ to ‘climate change’ to create an impression of it being a controllable issue. In this way, the ubiquitous ‘weasel words’ in politics, described by Don Watson as “sly words that do not mean what they appear to, or have an unseen purpose” have immense influential capacity. Political language is a highly accurate portrayal of the means by which formal language can be used to establish false expertise and manipulate the public.

Authority and instruction are increasingly significant functions of formal language, hence why it is so frequently used in corporate situations and politics. Public language is where this concept comes to the fore, described as “the language of leaders more than the led, the managers rather than the managed... the language of power and influence” in Don Watson’s ‘Death Sentence’. Authoritative figures in the public domain use nominalisations, passive and agentless passive sentences, declarative and imperative sentence types and end focus, which together serve to force a positive perception on an otherwise negative situation, once again to manipulate and mislead the audience. Agricultural Minister Barnaby Joyce has recently been involved in relocating several corporations, causing several workers to lose their jobs. Joyce announced that the “Australian Pests and Veterinary Medicines Authority will be moving from Canberra to Armidale.” The agentless passive, end focus and the use of the modal verb ‘will’ in this sentence contribute to the certainty and finality of this move, without taking any responsibility and creates an effect of what George Orwell described as “anaesthetic writing”’ writing that mitigates the effect of the words. This results in a very impersonal relationship between the individual in authority and the general public, increasing the social distance considerably. This effect can also be observed in signs proclaiming warnings, instructions or potential sanctions. In declaring that “A person under 18 who obtains or consumes liquor on these premises, and the person who supplies liquor to the person under 18, are each guilty of an offence”, the authority employs nominalisations in “offence” and end focus, again to mitigate the severity, or even conscious reality, of the prohibition. These syntactic and lexical devices are extremely effective in the public sector, where no association exists between the influential figure and the community, but formal language does not lend itself to appropriately establishing authority or expertise in intimate relationships.

In contexts outside the professional and public domain, formal language is not as effective in establishing one’s influence and proficiency. This ensues due to the already-established relationship between the interlocutors, where those involved are perceived as of an equal status, and the shifts from increasing social distance to exclusively sharing information or giving instruction. In private relationships, for instance with parents, authority can be enforced through direction and discipline using imperative sentence types, in addition to simple lexemes and intimate references, which maintain the relationship while simultaneously expressing dominance. This helps to preserve negative face, in a way that formal language cannot do as well. In close relationships where teaching takes place, such as tutors, family and friends, a predetermined hierarchy exists; both student and teacher understand their position and expertise can easily be communicated with informal language. This includes the use of active voice, puns, phonological features such as elision and contractions and may exclude jargon for easier comprehension by the student. These features allow for adeptness to be established while not detracting from a social bond, and may arguably be more effective in communication of a hierarchical nature than formal language.

While formal language generally does lend itself appropriately to maintaining authority and showcasing expertise, in the words of Don Watson, “the language is hostile in communication”. In summation, outside of a professional context, or in private circumstances, informal language may be better suited to maintaining a relationship while simultaneously being influential.
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thanks heaps fam <3
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: phoenixpoon on January 19, 2017, 10:05:31 pm
Might collate all of your essays in here, if you want them to get feedback. Just to make things easier and neater.
Can I please get some feedback on this essay about informal language and what a grade for this essay would be like? Any help would be deeply appreciated.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: strawberry7898 on January 19, 2017, 11:29:11 pm
 
Can I please get some feedback on this essay about informal language and what a grade for this essay would be like? Any help would be deeply appreciated.

Hi phoenixpoon, congratulations on being the first one to post an essay in 2017!! You are already ahead of others by doing this because you're showing your commitment for this subject

I think this was a great essay to start the year off with. This essay discussed the functions of informal language, I would advise you to look at the informal language section of the study design if you haven't already done so to give you more ideas. First, please read over your essay again to check for grammatical errors, for example, "Informality has become more prominent and a gradual shift of incorporating more informal language into society" doesn't sound quite right. To me, the sentence "Colloquial language gives context to situational and cultural texts" is also a little vague, what do you mean by "situational and cultural texts"?, you have phrased what you mean a lot more clearly in the first body paragraph. Other than that, you have brought up some good arguments in your introduction.

Your first paragraph talked about the continuum of informality and how register changes depending on context, this isn't really a function of informal language and I would limit this sort of thing to the introduction. Instead, using the same examples, you can keep the focus on the phatic function of informal language , talking about how it allows users to build rapport. This is something that you brought up in the paragraph but it really should have been your topic sentence. I would change "spatial distance" to "social distance". You said that spoken informal language has a "lack of structured turn taking", I would say that it's quite the opposite, I realise you are referring to things like overlapping speech here but in general most conversations follow turn taking quite well, you need to back up claims like these with examples. "This conveys unspontaneity"- I think you meant to say spontaneity. Your point about informal language being expressive and emotive is a good point and could have been a whole other paragraph.

Talking about informal language in connection with in-group boundaries is great (check up with your teacher on this though, for some reason my teacher didn't like me bringing up Identity, a Unit 4 concept, in a Unit 3 SAC). Do use the term "in-group" in your essay as you'll get brownie points for using sociolinguistic metalanguage. My biggest criticism of this paragraph is that your examples are far too overused and dated, "selfie" became commonplace in 2012. English Language is very strict about examples being contemporary, i.e. 2017 words, and if you absolutely must, 2016 words. Trust me, examiners have a pet peeve for "selfie" in particular. Make it your holiday homework to find new examples of internet slang. You started to go a little off topic in "Although many people believe that the advances of technology kills everything" because now you're on the topic of attitudes to language rather than informal language.

"Certain features are distinctive as an indicator as Australian colloquial language"- your topic sentence should be focused on informal language and identity, using the next sentence to talk about how it can indicate cultural/national identity, for example Australian English. Again "bloody" is something that 60% of essays will mention as an example so stand out by using something different. Use of metalanguage such as "diminutives", "morphological features" and "positive politeness" is great because it shows your familiarity with English Language and allows you to establish your expertise, here's another one for your next essay- "hypocorisms". Consider watching Australian TV shows for more Australian English examples.

In short, great essay for a first attempt, I encourage you to read sample essays in the repository on the forum and in VCAA assessor's reports to get an idea of what a high quality essay looks like. Please read the 2017 examples available on the forum too for more ideas. I think you're headed in the right direction with this subject, also do get more feedback on this essay from teachers to see what they have to say, it's a good idea to be clear on your teacher's expectations from day 1 for top SAC marks. You have good knowledge of metalanguage and subject content but you're lacking on the examples front (something I don't expect you to have this early in the year anyway).
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: lilhoo on April 15, 2017, 02:26:43 pm
Might collate all of your essays in here, if you want them to get feedback. Just to make things easier and neater.
Hi charmaderp and everyone, I'm just wondering if you can mark my first Analytical Commentary for English Language (I'm a Unit 1 EL student -> noob). I really don't know which is more convenient as I am new to this forum. I will paste the analysis and as well as attaching it. Thank you so much for reviewing it.
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Analytical Commentary - Converation between Catherine and Anita at Writer's festival                                                                   
The register of this text by Catherine and Anita is informal, as proven by the informal syntactic choices. The text can be interpreted as a transcript of a transactional conversation between a sales assistant and a customer, as such, the two interlocutors are strangers. The conversation is mainly phatic with the two talking about the traffic, weather as well as method of payments at a writer’s festival. There are also a range of factors which affect the formality of this text. The fact that the conversation takes place at a festival means there is no need to use formal expressions as it is only a phatic conversational between a sales assistant and a customer.
The phatic conversation between Catherine and Anita contain a range of features such as interruptions, truncated intonation units as well as sentence fragments which differentiate a spoken text from a written one. Truncated intonations clearly expresses that the text is an informal conversation, whereas, if this was a formal written text, the truncated intonations are seldom used as this would make the text informal. Moreover, the prevalent occurrence of interruptions, examples being line number 2 and 3 in the transcript, further undermines the formality of the text. Furthermore, the prosodic features such as the use of varying tempo, volume, intonation and stress draws the line between this spoken conversation and written text. The use of varying tempo and volume occurs throughout the text, for example, line 15 showed Catherine’s utterances being fast paced to how she is outraged by the traffic as well as lines 97 and 98 showing Catherine speaking in a loud voice to hint the conclusion of the conversation. In addition, the use of varying intonation/pitch is also prevalent within the text, as shown by line number 9, the rising pitch shows that Catherine is surprised. Unlike written text, spoken text utilise the use of stress to express emotion, for example, line 12, where Catherine uttered “… it’s shocking”, showed that she is outraged by the terrible traffic as mentioned previously by Anita. Thus, we can conclude that the difference between spoken and written text is that spoken text adopt the use of prosodic features to express emotion as well as communicating the message more effectively.
There are various syntactic features employed in this text which reflects the overall formality of the text. The sentence types, predominantly declarative and interrogative, are used by the interlocutors to talk about the traffic and weather, in addition, interrogative sentence type is used by Catherine to ask Anita regarding method of payment. For example, a declarative sentence type can be seen on line 10, where Anita states that she has never seen the traffic like this. The interrogative sentence type is also employed by Catherine as part of her customer service, an example of the use of interrogative sentences is on line 1. Furthermore, the use of grammatically correct sentences is rare in the spoken text as Catherine and Anita both express themselves in short utterance which often get truncated by the other. Thus, the due to the informal nature of the conversation, grammatically correct sentences are seldom used as there are no need for them.


Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: cookiedream on April 17, 2017, 12:02:52 pm
Analytical Commentary - Converation between Catherine and Anita at Writer's festival   
...

Hello lilhoo! Welcome to the forums ;D
Here are my corrections (though it's pretty good for a Unit 1 student!)
Sorry if it comes off as harsh!

The register of this text by Catherine and Anita is informal, as proven by the informal syntactic choices. The text can be interpreted as It is a transcript of a transactional conversation between a sales assistant and a customer, as such, the two interlocutors are strangers. The conversation is mainly phatic with the two talking about the traffic, weather as well as method of payments at a writer’s festival. There are also a range of factors which affect the formality of this text. The fact that the conversation takes place at a festival means there is no need to use formal expressions as it is only a phatic conversational between a sales assistant and a customer. (Include social purpose here)

The phatic conversation between Catherine and Anita contain a range of features such as interruptions, truncated intonation units as well as sentence fragments (don't list features in your topic sentence, the max should be two) which differentiate a spoken text from a written one. Truncated intonations clearly express that the text is an informal conversation (by...? give an explanation specific to the text as to how it contributes to informality), whereas, if this was a formal written text, the truncated intonations are seldom used as this would make the text informal. Moreover, the prevalent occurrence of interruptions, examples being line number 2 and 3 in the transcript, further undermines the formality of the text (be specific to the text, this sentence can be applicable to just about any informal text with interruptions). Furthermore, the prosodic features such as the use of varying tempo, volume, intonation and stress draws the line between this spoken conversation and written text. The use of varying tempo and volume occurs throughout the text, for example, line 15 showed Catherine’s utterances being fast paced to how she is outraged by the traffic as well as lines 97 and 98 showing Catherine speaking in a loud voice to hint the conclusion of the conversation (love how specific this is. Include the actual quote in the line you refer to rather than just stating the line number). In addition, the use of varying intonation/pitch is also prevalent within the text, as shown by line number 9, the rising pitch shows that Catherine is surprised. Unlike written text, spoken text utilise the use of stress to express emotion, for example, line 12, where Catherine uttered “… it’s shocking”, showed that she is outraged by the terrible traffic as mentioned previously by Anita. Thus, we can conclude that the difference between spoken and written text is that spoken text adopt the use of prosodic features to express emotion as well as communicating the message more effectively.

There are various syntactic features employed in this text which reflects the overall informality of the text. The sentence types, predominantly declarative and interrogative, are used by the interlocutors to talk about the traffic and weather allowing the conversation to flow (or something like that). In addition, interrogatives are used by Catherine to ask Anita regarding method of payment. For example, a declarative sentence type can be seen on line 10, where Anita states that she has never seen the traffic like this (quote the whole declarative here). The interrogative sentence type is also employed by Catherine as part of her customer service, an example of the use of interrogative sentences is on line 1 (quote the whole interrogative. Be more specific than "as part of her customer service"). Furthermore, the use of grammatically correct sentences is rare in the spoken text as Catherine and Anita both express themselves in short utterance which often get truncated by the other (give an example or two here). Thus, the due to the informal nature of the conversation, grammatically correct sentences are seldom used as there are no need for them.

General feedback
- Keep your explanations specific to the text throughout your analytical commentary. Ask yourself whether the statement you just wrote can be applied to any other text, and if it can then add more detail related to your text.
- A few grammatical errors
- Don't list features
- Try not to just say how something "contributes to informality" and leave it there. Perhaps include why or how it reduces the formality by saying something like "reducing social distance" or "facilitates a casual tone"
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: lilhoo on April 17, 2017, 03:24:24 pm
Hello lilhoo! Welcome to the forums ;D
Here are my corrections (though it's pretty good for a Unit 1 student!)
Sorry if it comes off as harsh!

Thanks for taking the time to read and correct my A.C, I really appreciate the comments.
By stating the 'social purpose', am I just stating the function of the conversation? Is there a difference between the two (social purpose and function)?
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: exit on April 17, 2017, 04:30:29 pm
Thanks for taking the time to read and correct my A.C, I really appreciate the comments.
By stating the 'social purpose', am I just stating the function of the conversation? Is there a difference between the two (social purpose and function)?


Function is the direct purpose: to inform, to persuade etc

Social purposes are the broader non-explicit purposes achieved in the text (usually as a result of the function): present the company in favourable light, build a relationship and decrease social distance with the audience etc.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: lilhoo on April 17, 2017, 04:53:55 pm
Function is the direct purpose: to inform, to persuade etc

Social purposes are the broader non-explicit purposes achieved in the text (usually as a result of the function): present the company in favourable light, build a relationship and decrease with the audience etc.
Thanks!
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: exit on May 22, 2017, 07:06:25 pm
Anyone who knows what they're doing willing to give me feedback for my first essay on identity?
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: lillianmaher on May 29, 2017, 02:45:46 pm
Hello, I'd really appreciate it if someone could please look through my analytical commentary on Metro Trains Customer Service Charter and give me some feedback as to how and where I can improve. Thanks in advance!

Analytical Commentary- Metro Trains
Metro Trains Customer Service Chatter is a written brochure outlining Metro’s services and responsibilities to customers, and also informing customers of their responsibilities whilst travelling on Metro. The brochure maintains a formal register throughout, in order to maintain power and display their authority. The audience is the customers, however, also the employees of Metro, and the wider public. The semantic field of the brochure is travel, in particular train travel, however, it also incorporates lexemes from the corporate field.
The lexical and semantic features in the text play a significant role in the development of the formal register, in particular in eliminating any possible lexical ambiguity, and achieving the overall function which is to inform. The use of subject specific lexis, particularly in the form of adjectives, such as ‘travel experience’ L24, ‘Transport operators’ L54, ‘warning bells’ L69 and ‘platform attendants’ L71, help to clarify the meanings of the following nouns. These adjectives make the nouns used specific to the semantic field of travel, and removes any possible ambiguity of the meanings of the nouns by clarifying the context in which they are being used. This contributes to the formal register by ensuring the text can only be understood in the one way which Metro are trying to communicate. The use of auxiliary modal verbs throughout the text assist in the achievement of the overall function of the text which is to inform of the responsibilities of Metro and travellers. The use of these auxiliary modal verbs, such as, ‘will’ in ‘will do all we can’ L13 and ‘Metro will take its place’ L21, express to the audience what it is that Metro itself will do, showing their responsibilities. However, modal auxiliary verbs are also used to show what Metro expects travellers to do, such as, ‘must’ in ‘entitlement must be carried’ L57 , ‘entitlement must be produced by the customer’ L59-60 and ‘tickets must not be transferred.’
There are also many syntactical features which assist in the achievement of the function, and maintain the formal register including nominalisation, parallelism and the sentence types. The use of nominalisation increases the efficiency of the text, and also increases the formality, as it is not concerned with building rapport with the audience. From the beginning of the text until the end, nominalisation is used as a way of reducing the amount of lexemes required to present the information. On line 7, ‘our commitment’ is used, where it would have otherwise have read, ‘we are committed to,’ meaning that less lexemes are used, to convey the same meaning. Nominalisation is seen throughout the text on lines 13, 22, 55, 67 and 71, and these examples all have the same function; to increase the efficiency of the text. Parallelism is also used throughout the text, most notably in line 27, 31, 33, 35, 36 and 37, where the sentences all begin with, ‘We will…’ This creates a rhythm within the text, allowing the audience to have a clear expectation of the responsibilities of Metro. This parallelism also contributes to the logical ordering within the text, as the responsibilities are listed together, and also contributes to the achievement of the function.
The coherence and cohesion within the text is achieved through a number of features. Coherence is achieved through the logical ordering, of an introduction, followed by a description of the responsibilities of Metro and then the responsibilities of customers which ensures that the text is easily to follow, interpret and to understand. The formatting of the text involves bold sub headings which ensures that the different sections can be easily identified, also contributing to the coherence.  Cohesion is achieved through the lexical choices, of lexemes from the appropriate semantic field of travel, as well as the repetition of key elements, such as Metro’s responsibilities listed individually beginning with ‘We will…’ through the text.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Joseph41 on May 29, 2017, 02:59:11 pm
Hey lillianmaher! :) Feedback (in red) below. :)

Hello, I'd really appreciate it if someone could please look through my analytical commentary on Metro Trains Customer Service Charter and give me some feedback as to how and where I can improve. Thanks in advance! Would you happen to have the text anywhere? That would probably make feedback easier. :)

Analytical Commentary- Metro Trains
Metro Trains Customer Service Chatter is a written brochure outlining Metro’s services and responsibilities to customers, and also informing customers of their responsibilities whilst travelling on Metro. Good context here provided in terms of what the text actually is. My personal preference would be to conclude the first sentence after "customers", and have the next sentence dedicated explicitly to function of the text. At the moment, the function (correct me if I'm mistaken) seems to be alluded to (so, to inform), but not explicitly noted. The brochure maintains a formal register throughout, in order to maintain power and display their authority. Whose authority? I assume Metro, but try to be as specific and clear as possible. The audience is the customers, however, also the employees of Metro, and the wider public. I'd consider re-phrasing this sentence. Perhaps something like: "The primary audience is customers of Metro Trains; however, employees and others may also read the brochure." I'm not sure exactly, but what you have at the moment feels a little clunky to me. The semantic field of the brochure is travel, in particular train travel, however, it also incorporates lexemes from the corporate field. Overall, a nice introduction! :) You've mentioned mode, function (although perhaps not explicitly), register and audience. I don't have any major qualms, here!

The lexical and semantic features in the text play a significant role in the development of the formal register, in particular in eliminating any possible lexical ambiguity, and achieving the overall function which is to inform. Something I've noticed a lot recently (just in general) is a tendency for long sentences. I find shorter sentences much easier to read. As such, I'd split this up - perhaps a sentence break after "register", and then start the new sentence with "In particular..." It's definitely a minor (and stylistic) point, but IMO it has a considerable impact in terms of readability. In terms of what you've actually said, I think this is a good topic sentence - you've very clearly outlined the subsystem(s) you'll be discussing. :) The use of subject-specific lexis, particularly in the form of adjectives, such as ‘travel experience’ L24, ‘Transport operators’ L54, ‘warning bells’ L69 and ‘platform attendants’ L71, I'd probably chuck these examples in brackets. Also, without context, it's a little difficult to know for sure whether or not these are actually adjectives (like, it may be the case that they're just collective noun phrases) - but I'll back you haha help to clarify the meanings of the following nouns. These adjectives make the nouns used specific to the semantic field of travel, and removes ("remove" is more appropriate here, for subject-verb agreement) any possible ambiguity of the meanings of the nouns by clarifying the context in which they are being used. This contributes to the formal register by ensuring the text can only be understood in the one way which Metro are trying to communicate. Yeah, avoiding ambiguity is definitely an important point here. The use of auxiliary modal verbs throughout the text assists in the achievement of the overall function of the text which is to inform of the responsibilities of Metro and travellers. The use of these auxiliary modal verbs, such as, ‘will’ in ‘will do all we can’ L13 and ‘Metro will take its place’ L21, express to the audience what it is that Metro itself will do, showing their responsibilities. Why these modals in particular, though? Why "will" instead of "may", for example? However, modal auxiliary verbs are also used to show what Metro expects travellers to do, such as, ‘must’ in ‘entitlement must be carried’ L57 , ‘entitlement must be produced by the customer’ L59-60 and ‘tickets must not be transferred.’ Similarly, these strong auxiliaries denote some sort of certainty. But yep, good point. :)

There are also many syntactical features which assist in the achievement of the function, and maintain the formal register including nominalisation, parallelism and the sentence types. Nice topic sentence. I also like how you're structuring this (subsystem by subsystem). The use of nominalisation increases the efficiency of the text, and also increases the formality, as it is not concerned with building rapport with the audience. From the beginning of the text until the end, nominalisation is used as a way of reducing the amount ("number" is more accurate, but this is a ridiculously small point lol) of lexemes required to present the information. On line 7, ‘our commitment’ is used, where it would have otherwise have read, ‘we are committed to,’ meaning that less (technically, "fewer" - again, a minor point) lexemes are used, to convey the same meaning. Nominalisation has effects other than efficiency, though - do you think any of these are relevant? Nominalisation is seen throughout the text on lines 13, 22, 55, 67 and 71, and these examples all have the same function: to increase the efficiency of the text. [color=I think the piece would benefit from a couple more examples, further to the relevant line numbers.[/color] Parallelism is also used throughout the text, most notably in line 27, 31, 33, 35, 36 and 37, where the sentences all begin with, ‘We will…’ Nice! This creates a rhythm within the text, allowing the audience to have a clear expectation of the responsibilities of Metro. This parallelism also contributes to the logical ordering within the text, as the responsibilities are listed together, and also contributes to the achievement of the function. How does parallelism contribute to the function?

The coherence and cohesion within the text is achieved through a number of features. Coherence is achieved through the logical ordering, of an introduction, followed by a description of the responsibilities of Metro and then the responsibilities of customers which ensures that the text is easily to follow, interpret and to understand. Yep! :) The formatting of the text involves bold sub headings which ensures that the different sections can be easily identified, also contributing to the coherence.  Cohesion is achieved through the lexical choices, of lexemes from the appropriate semantic field of travel, as well as the repetition of key elements, such as Metro’s responsibilities listed individually beginning with ‘We will…’ through the text.


Overall, really nice work. :)

Anyone who knows what they're doing willing to give me feedback for my first essay on identity?

Hey exit!

Sorry - not sure how I missed this post. :-\ But yep, definitely willing!
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: lillianmaher on May 29, 2017, 04:37:17 pm
Hey lillianmaher! :) Feedback (in red) below. :)

Overall, really nice work. :)

Thank you so much for your feedback! I really appreciate it- thanks again!
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Joseph41 on May 29, 2017, 04:40:47 pm
Thank you so much for your feedback! I really appreciate it- thanks again!

Not a problem at all! :) Let me know if anything didn't make sense, or if I wasn't helpful in a particular area (and I'll try to give better feedback haha). :)
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: cmorri99 on June 05, 2017, 06:27:47 pm
Hey!
Did a practice essay on social harmony and political correctness.
The question was 'Political correctness only affects the language people use; it completely fails to alter the attitudes behind the language'. Discuss.
If someone would like to give feedback that would be great!
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Joseph41 on June 05, 2017, 07:20:22 pm
Hey!
Did a practice essay on social harmony and political correctness.
The question was 'Political correctness only affects the language people use; it completely fails to alter the attitudes behind the language'. Discuss.
If someone would like to give feedback that would be great!

Hey cmorri99! Welcome to ATAR Notes. ;D

Just so you know, I've started marking this essay. I'm about halfway through, so I'll try to finish it off tomorrow! Looking good thus far. :)
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: cmorri99 on June 05, 2017, 07:31:08 pm
Thanks joseph41! Much appreciated!  ;D
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Joseph41 on June 06, 2017, 09:32:45 am
Hey hey. :)

So I've attached some feedback - overall, really great job! ;D An enjoyable essay. I've seen this essay topic before, and I honestly think it's one of the harder ones; differentiating language and attitudes can sometimes be extremely difficult. :-\

Writing style was generally pretty good. On the whole, I'd recommend shortening your sentences. At the moment, it feels a little convoluted - and that makes it more difficult to read. I liked how you brought in external examples to back up what you were saying. To make it even better, you could also bring in some quotes from linguists or public figures. :)

I hope the feedback on the document attached is helpful! Well done! :D
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: cmorri99 on June 07, 2017, 09:06:36 pm
Thanks Joseph41, your'e a legend!!  ;D Appreciate the feedback!
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: exit on June 08, 2017, 03:40:29 pm
Hey, formal analytical commentary tomorrow (friday). Please correct my analytical commentary as soon as possible :)

It is on text 5 of the Kirsten Fox Exam Guide (analytical commentary section) - Metro Trains :DD
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Joseph41 on June 08, 2017, 04:01:39 pm
Hey, formal analytical commentary tomorrow (friday). Please correct my analytical commentary as soon as possible :)

It is on text 5 of the Kirsten Fox Exam Guide (analytical commentary section) - Metro Trains :DD

Hey exit!

Best of luck for your SAC. :) Brief feedback attached (keeping in mind I haven't actually read the text).
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: exit on June 08, 2017, 04:29:12 pm
Hey exit!

Best of luck for your SAC. :) Brief feedback attached (keeping in mind I haven't actually read the text).

Thanks so much for the feedback! :D

Really useful. I guess I need to create a clear wall and distinction between informative and persuasive techniques and ensure I don't rush my sentences too much, especially when I type.

Thanks once again!
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Joseph41 on June 08, 2017, 04:32:42 pm
Thanks so much for the feedback! :D

Really useful. I guess I need to create a clear wall and distinction between informative and persuasive techniques and ensure I don't rush my sentences too much, especially when I type.

Thanks once again!

No problem at all! Let us know how the SAC goes. ;D
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: exit on June 09, 2017, 10:42:48 pm
No problem at all! Let us know how the SAC goes. ;D

The SAC today went well! A novel extract which was unexpected and not many people practiced it but I think I pulled off something decent, although messy due to lots of editing :p
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Joseph41 on June 10, 2017, 01:13:52 pm
The SAC today went well! A novel extract which was unexpected and not many people practiced it but I think I pulled off something decent, although messy due to lots of editing :p

That's awesome! Great work - thanks for the update. :D
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Bri MT on July 16, 2017, 12:12:43 pm
Hey, this is the first essay I will ever receive feedback on for Eng Lang, which is very exciting but also intimidating. That being said, I would much rather you err on the side of being "mean" than not provide criticism. I would love to be able to refine and improve my technique, so the more feedback the better :). Thankyou very much for taking the time to do this, I am very grateful.    (This isn't due on Monday or anything so no rush)

My prompt was: " What does Australian English look and sound like today and how does it reflect our identity as a nation"
A reference to a stimulus quote is present in paragraph 1 (Vic Gorman)

The word count is 819 and I am aiming to cut my essay length to approx. 650 words by the exam

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Language evolves overtime to in response to the ways which people use it to convey information and express their identity, and Australian English is no exception to this rule. Australian English speakers are still identifiable by the sounds of their speech, and continue to use lexemes unique to the land down under, however, the increased exchange between cultures and widespread use of the internet has also left a distinct impact. This has not erased the Australian identity, rather, it allows change and enables speakers to express multiple aspects of their identity through their use of Australian English.

Speakers have become more confident in the acceptance of the Australian accent, which has created an environment where variations on it are not seen as a threat to its integrity. This positive perception Australian speech can be seen in the decrease of the cultivated accent, which was indicative of the British Received Pronunciation being preferred. The broad accent, adopted in opposition to the cultivated accent, has also seen a decline in usage; the vast majority of Australians now use a general Australian accent in some form. As the Australian accent is no longer perceived as being threatened and thus is not rigidly enforced by most Australians, it is amenable to play and variation which expresses other aspects of the speakers’ background. Vic Gorman wrote in a 2006 letter to the Green Guide that “Australia is a country full of different accents”, a statement which remains accurate to this day. The formation of a myriad of ethnolects is no surprise when Australia’s rich cultural diversity Is considered. The 2016 census shows that half of the Australian population has at least one parent who was born overseas, and that over 300 different languages are used within Australia. Linguistic PhD research candidate Josh Clothier believes that these ethnolects are used to both “express identity as Australians of a particular descent” and “to express links with their heritage communities”. This shift from variation in broadness to cultural variation serves our community by retaining Australian identity yet allowing for concurrent expression of additional cultural identities.

The common use of the internet as a medium of expression has changed the way that Australians use phrases and lexemes, so they may be easily understood. Communicating with people from different countries and backgrounds without paralinguistic features provides ample opportunities for accidental miscommunication. In the past, a common aspect of Australian speech was the deliberate use of descriptors which are antithetical to the described content. For example, the use of the nickname “bluey” to describe someone with red hair. However, research by linguist Dr Louisa White indicates that it is rare for a Victorian or Queensland high school student to have a nickname formed in this way. Similarly, the use of expressive idioms such as “flat out like a lizard drinking” is declining, especially among younger generations of Australians. By contrast, slang such as “Maccas” which are distinctly Australian have remained in use, potentially because it is easier to either guess the meaning or use a slang dictionary or website, and the unknown lexeme is clearly identified. In contrast, it may be difficult for international speakers to determine what components of discourse were part of the confusing phrase and thereby search for an explanation. Potentially even more dangerous, someone forced to guess the meaning of a phrase may interpret the meaning in an unintended way which detracts from the speaker’s goals. Eschewing parts of Australian language with clear potential for misinterpretation and instead emphasising Australian lexemes allows for the expression of Australian identity and reduces the likelihood of miscommunication.
The increased cultural exchange both in online and physical communities where Australians are present has also resulted in the transfer of words between cultures. Americanisms such as “Dude” and “y’all” are increasingly finding their way to the lexicon of Australians, and in particular children. Further to this, the use of autocorrect and predictive services which use American English increases the prevalence of American spellings and normalizes their use in communication between and by Australians. However, the transfer of culture and ways of speaking is bi-directional. Internet linguistic Getchen McCulloch believes that Australians are responsible for the initial creation of “DoggoLingo”, a popular way of talking about dogs across the internet. Most of the lexemes in this English variant are diminutives based on suffixation or alternate spelling of pre-existing Standard English words, with the term “Doggo” displaying the Australian trait of adding an “o” as a suffix to form slang. This shares the informal aspect of Australian identity, showing that even as Australian lexicology shifts accepts change from other countries, Australian identity markers are also being used internationally.
Australian language use has changed and will continue to change in modern times to be more compatible with other Englishes. However, rather than erasing Australian identity, new avenues of expression in which multiple identities are performed concurrently are being used in spoken and written discourse.




Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: TheInfamousJimsRightHandMan on July 23, 2017, 05:30:01 pm
Hello miniturtle!!
Not going to critique or anything, sorry, but I was struggling to write an essay on Identity and Australian English and then came across this. Thanks!!!
Here were the references for this question (I found the exact same one question with Viv Gorman being one of the people being quoted).
a) 'Australian English is an important expression of identity in part because of the way it is a bearer of history ... Australian English has continually given voice to the issues, the tensions, and the values that make up the fabric of Australian society ... Of all the markers of identity, language is by far the most significant ... It is ... a multifaceted entity. Australian English is central to the process of giving voice to our Australian identity: in important ways, we are what we speak, and we are how we speak.'
(Bruce Moore, Speaking our Language: The Story of Australian English, Oxford University Press, 2008)
b) 'Australia is a country full of different accents. Yet Australian film and TV seem only to represent the Australian accent. Different accents add dimensions to a film. The filmmakers should open up the population of Australia to the myriad of accents present in this country.'
(Viv Gorman, letter to the 'Green Guide', The Age, 6 August 2009)
c) 'If we look at some of the more marginalised groups in Australia, we can see a wealth of linguistic innovation and new phrases and even dialects of Australian English. Indigenous Australians have created varieties of English for use among their peers which are rich in innovation. These are slow to make their way into mainstream Australian English, but the word deadly meaning "excellent, strong" is now quite widely understood in Australia, and I have observed some more widespread use of yumob as a second person plural pronoun.'
(Rob Pensalfini, 'Aussie slang is as diverse as Australia itself', The Conversation website, 24 June 2014)
d) 'We may no longer be using "cobber" as part of our everyday speech, but we are constantly coining new and distinctively Australian expressions that display an unending verbal inventiveness.'
(Hugh Lunn, quoted in 'If you understand our lingo, you're in', by Tim Barlass, The Age, 8 February 2015)
Got all of these from the insight vce Exam guide, so if anyone wants to attempt this question (so they could give some feedback), feel free.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: ccmorri99 on July 30, 2017, 07:33:26 pm
Hi! I was just wondering if someone could please have a look at this practice essay I wrote. The topic is 'What does Australian English look and sound like today and how does this reflect the Australian identity'?
Thanks!
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: lillianmaher on July 31, 2017, 11:45:28 am
Hi, this is a practice essay for the SAC, which I have on Wednesday. I really struggled to write this, and do not feel confident at all for our sac which is on National Identity. Any feedback will be greatly appreciated, as will any tips in general for the sac! Thank you!!
Australian English is inventive and playful and reflects our national identity. To what extent do you agree?
Australian English (AuE) is a unique dialect of English, which is inventive and playful and reflects the national identity of Australia. Australian English has evolved over the years, beginning at the arrival of the First Fleet, and is continually developing and adapting according to global and national trends. Australian English is a construct that represents national identity both on Australian shores and beyond, as it reflects the many different aspects and influences on Australia, in an inventive and playful manner. The influences on AuE include the arrival of the First Fleet, Aboriginal English and the many ethnolects present in Australia, which have impacted, and continue to play a significant role in the expression of national identity, in addition to the abundance of Australian slang and colloquialisms.
When the First Fleet arrived in 1788, the inventive and playful manner of what is now Australian English was first shown. British soldiers and convicts from Britain, Ireland and Scotland all arrived with the First Fleet, with each having their own accents and dialects of English. However, it was the children from the First Fleet and later arriving ships which were responsible for the creation of the ‘Foundation Accent’ (The Language of Australia). This new accent morphed the accents of the convicts, settlers, squatters and soldiers, as the children would talk more like each other and less like their parents. This new foundation accent gave identity to Australians it was unique, and, being created by the children showed playful and rebellious language. However, at the time of Federation in 1901, the Australian accent was disfavoured, with it being said that Australians that spoke with this accent, ‘don’t know how to speak.’ (The Language of Australia) Elocution classes were introduced to teach children, and adults, the British Received Pronunciation, and the development of the Cultivated Accent occurred. The Australian accent did not appear in Australian film nor television, with the British Broadcasting Company only employing speakers with the British accent. It was not until the 1970’s when speaking with an Australian accent became accepted, as people wanted to be proud of their heritage. Thus being so, the Australian accent today, is as reflection of the history of Australia, and the playful language created by the children of the First Fleet, being a proud marker of national identity.
Aboriginal English (AbE) is another dialect of English which is a major influence on our national identity. Arising from the need to communicate with the English speaking settlers who arrived in Australia in the 18th Century, Aboriginal English was developed, influenced by the 250 Indigenous Languages that were present at the time of colonisation. Currently, Aboriginal English is spoken by more than 80% of Aboriginal Australians as their main English. There are systematic phonological correspondences between the sound system of AbE and the sound system of Standard Australian English. Features of AbE include a more elaborated pronoun system, with ‘you’ referring to one person, and ‘you-mob’ referring to more than one person. There is also an optional inflection number, where s does not have to be added to show a plural, if the sentence already indicates a plural, for example, ‘Three cat.’ There is also an optional copula, where ‘she busy’ would be used as opposed to ‘she is busy.’ There are also many phonological features of AbE, including no ‘h’ sounds, with ‘f’, ‘v,’ and ‘th’ sounds being rare, as ‘f’ and ‘v’ are pronounced as ‘p’ or ‘b’.  There are lexical differences in Aboriginal English, with ‘debil-debil’ meaning evil spirit, ‘grow up’ meaning raise a child and ‘charging on’ referring to drinking. Aboriginal societies are multi-lingual, and will vary the dialect they speak depending the identity they wish to express. Aboriginal English plays an important role in the expression of National identity, and reflects the cultural diversity that exists in the nation.
Ethnolect in Australia also reflects the cultural diversity in Australia, and plays an important role in expressing the multi culturalism present in the nation. Individually, Ethnolects reveal the cultural affiliation of the speaker, however, as a whole expresses our national identity, and express the inventive and playful manner of AuE, in particular through the language of children of immigrant families. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, 26.8% of the Australian population was born outside of Australia, totalling over 6 million people. By 2050, it estimated that one third of the nation’s population will be born overseas. Along with this, comes an increase in cultural diversity and the desire for individuals to freely express their cultural identity within the Australian context. Children of immigrant families are often inventive with their language, embracing their cultural heritage whilst adopting some speech patterns of AuE to conform to their peer group. This results in the development of a playful dialect, such as seen on the Australian television show, Here Come the Habibs, which portrays a Lebanese family. The show features a teenage school girl, who speaks with a Lebanese accent using lexemes associated with Lebanon, such as ‘shoo’ meaning what’s up and ‘yallah’ meaning good bye, but also features of a more modern and informal English, such as ‘I swear to God’, ‘totes’ and ‘dis.’ This combination of Ethnolect and AuE is important in displaying the identity of both immigrants, but of Australia as a wider whole.
A significant feature of Australian English is slang and colloquialisms which historically reflect the laid back, easy going and friendly nature of Australians. Slang and colloquialisms represent the very playful and inventive nature of AuE, with an Australian National University study finding that ‘using slang words … make tou more likeable to you fellow Australians.’ (Georgia Hitch) Australian slang is continually developing to reflect the values of Australians through the times, with ‘more than 16,000 Australianisms’ (Kate Burridge, The Conversation) being added to the Australian National Dictionary recently. Many of Australian slang words arise from Australia’s strong beach culture, such as ‘cossies’, ‘budgie smugglers’, ‘grommets’, and ‘nippers’. This playing and modifying words is a strong representation of playful nature of Australians, whilst further reflecting our values, such as beach culture. Diminutives are a common feature in Australian slang, including ‘ambo’, ‘truckie’, ‘uggies’, ‘barbie’ and ‘cockie,’ each with their own unique connotations which are understood by Australians. The playfulness of Australian slang plays a significant role in portraying the Australian identity.
Australian English is the major channel for the expression of national identity, expressing the values of Australians, and their inventive and playful way of communicating. There has been, and continues to be an abundance of influences on AuE, including colonisation, Aboriginal English and Ethnolect. The use of slang and colloquialisms in AuE are an important way for Australians to express their laid back and friendly nature, and to further develop the national identity.

Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: faith.ands on August 06, 2017, 05:22:19 pm
Hi!!! Could you please read my eng lang essay and let me know how I can improve it? Also, can you give it a mark?

The Prompt: 'Euphemism promotes social harmony and strengthens the social fabric of our society' Discuss


Euphemisms are used ‘a lot more than we think’, they are alternatives to expressions which may be deemed offensive. When used in society, it functions to cover up negative or distressing denotations through the use of more appealing or general lexemes. Euphemisms aid social harmony between interlocutors by disguising taboo topics and avoiding any threats to their positive face needs. In addition to this, it can be seen as a form of politically correct language which promotes ‘the social fabric’ of the community by creating avoiding embarrassing of confronting topics. However, there are times when such language can obfuscate or cause confusion. In the Australian public domain, Kate Burridge describes euphemism as ‘linguistic deodorisers’.

Through the use of more euphemistic expressions, social interactions between interlocutors avoid awkward and potentially face threatening situations. This is seen especially when discussing taboo topics such as periods, death or sex. People tend to become linguistically creative, for example, an international survey conducted by Clue and International Women’s Health Coalition found that 5000 different slang terms and euphemisms exist for the lexeme ‘period’, spanning across 190 different countries. ‘Aunt Flow’, ‘Code red’ and ‘Lady days’ are a few of the most frequently used euphemisms in the English language, whilst those in China say ‘Its little sister has come’. This study can suggest how euphemistic expressions are used to replace the medical jargon of ‘menstruation’ in order to make the topic less confronting, therefore promoting social harmony. In the same way, many funeral companies use lexemes which hold more positive connotations. For example, Tobin Brothers Funerals’ slogan is ‘Celebrating lives’. This may be viewed as an oxymoron, as the denotation of a funeral is to commemorate rather than celebrate. However, it is used to disguise the topic of death whilst avoiding any offense that may be caused to the family or loved ones. Given these points, it is seen that ‘any term denoting an aspect of life that is indelicate, offensive or unsavoury will generally get euphemistic treatment’ in order to promote social harmony amongst participants.
Not only is this language used between different social groups, it is also evident in the public domain such as in politics and the media. It is used create a culturally rich and socially cohesive community by reducing potential offense or embarrassment. For example, a recent episode of The Project explored the political uproar caused by Pauline Hanson’s inquiry about whether or not there was a link between terrorism and refugee. It was then followed by Duncan Lewis, Director General of ASIO (Australian Security Intelligence Organisation) who stated that ‘We’ve had a thousand or so refugees come…and very few of them have become subjects of interest from ASIO and terrorist planning’. Euphemism has been used in ‘subject of interest from ASIO’ which implies that there have been some refugees who have been suspected of being terrorists. However, Lewis refrains from using the pejorative term ‘terrorist’ to avoid generalisations whilst also trying to disguise the fact that there is some connection between refugees and acts of terrorism. In addition to this, euphemisms are put in place depending on the desired effect on its audience. For example, Australian politicians employ the dysphemistic term ‘slaughter of innocent’ when referring to terror attacks on the Australian community. In contrast, terms such as ‘peacekeeping efforts’ and ‘collateral damage’ are used when describing the killings of other nations by our own people. This euphemistic terms attempts to position society into viewing the killings as something that is needed to ensure a ‘peaceful’ outcome, and therefore, help aid the social ties within Australia.

Despite its role in promoting social cohesion in the Australian community, euphemisms can obfuscate and lead to confusion as they are simply ‘unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne’. Earlier this year, Daniel Andrews, MP, declared that he wants to pass the ‘Assisted dying bill’ in Victoria, or in more simple terms, euthanasia. In response to this, the Catholic Education office sent out messages to Catholic schools asking them to vote against the bill. A newsletter sent to the parents of St. Joseph’s School stated that ‘Euphemisms such as ‘assisted dying’ and ‘dying with dignity’ are being hailed as acts of compassion, yet, with the sugar coating removed, euthanasia is about actively killing someone, and assisted suicide is helping someone to suicide.’ This highlights the frustration of the Catholic Church on the way in which politicians attempt to disguise the ‘ugly truth’ by making it sound less confronting and therefore leading to misinformed decision making. Furthermore, euphemistic speech can lead to confusion amongst the youth and may even lead to developing an ‘overly sensitive’ generation. An NHS trust in Scotland has called parents to stop using euphemistic terms for genitals and ‘tell it like it is’. This is because, although they are useful in avoiding embarrassing situations, they can also be problematic. For example, saying ‘Grandad has gone to sleep’ is a sensitive way of discussing the taboo of death, however, the euphemism of ‘sleep’ may cause confusion in other contexts such as telling a child that the couple got divorced because ‘he slept with another woman’. This may cause the child to wonder why such a drastic action is needed ‘because of a sleepover’. Overall, although euphemisms help aid social harmony, they also function to confuse or manipulate the truth.

Euphemistic speech continues to play a role in social interactions between people as well as in public language such as politics. They provide alternative ways to discussing taboo topics or as a way to reduce embarrassment or offence, thus encouraging social harmony between different groups. However, in some cases, its use functions to complicate or disguise the semantic truth.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: mtDNA on August 08, 2017, 02:32:02 pm
Hey Faith.ands! I am by no means an examiner or anything, just a fellow yr 12 Eng-Lang student, so please take my advise with a grain of salt :) . As such, it would be appreciated if another AN user could review my corrections. 

The Prompt: 'Euphemism promotes social harmony and strengthens the social fabric of our society’. Discuss

Euphemisms are used ‘a lot more than we think’, they are alternatives to expressions which may be deemed offensive. When used in society, it functions to cover up negative or distressing denotations through the use of more appealing or general lexemes. Euphemisms aid social harmony between interlocutors by disguising taboo topics and avoiding any threats to their positive face needs. In addition to this, it can be seen as a form of politically correct language which promotes ‘the social fabric’ of the community by creating avoiding embarrassing of confronting topics. However, there are times when such language can obfuscate or cause confusion. In the Australian public domain, Kate Burridge describes euphemism as ‘linguistic deodorisers’.

In the public domain, euphemisms augment and enhance our social harmony by acting as "linguistic deodorisers” (our lord and saviour :) ) for expressions which are deemed offensive or impolite; they function to mask negative connotations associated with certain lexemes by replacing them with more appealing or neutral lexemes, thereby maintaining the positive face needs of interlocutors and mitigating taboo topics (I’ll leave you to cut this sentence down as it is far too lengthy, I just tried to mash up a few of your sentences which seemed somewhat repetitive). Furthermore, euphemisms can enable one to employ politically correct language in order to avoid confronting issues, thereby promoting the 'social fabric’ of our society. On the contrary, there are times when such language can obfuscate ... [this signpost is somewhat weak; maybe be a bit more specific, or mention doublespeak or discuss how euphemisms can make something which is neutral in society seem negative, that being said, I haven’t read your 3rd BP so I’m not sure what ideas you will be discussing]. Clearly, euphemisms have the ability to both support and hinder the social harmony of our society ... [expand on this linking sentence].
Just one point: make sure you don’t repeat yourself (e.g. the second and third sentence pretty much said the same thing). Apart from that, your intro was pretty good.

Through the use of more euphemistic expressions, social interactions between interlocutors avoid awkward and potentially face threatening situations. This is seen especially when discussing taboo topics such as periods, death or sex. People tend to become linguistically creative, for example, an international survey conducted by Clue and International Women’s Health Coalition found that 5000 different slang terms and euphemisms exist for the lexeme ‘period’, spanning across 190 different countries. ‘Aunt Flow’, ‘Code red’ and ‘Lady days’ are a few of the most frequently used euphemisms in the English language, whilst those in China say ‘Its little sister has come’. This study can suggest how euphemistic expressions are used to replace the medical jargon of ‘menstruation’ in order to make the topic less confronting, therefore promoting social harmony. In the same way, many funeral companies use lexemes which hold more positive connotations. For example, Tobin Brothers Funerals’ slogan is ‘Celebrating lives’. This may be viewed as an oxymoron, as the denotation of a funeral is to commemorate rather than celebrate. However, it is used to disguise the topic of death whilst avoiding any offense that may be caused to the family or loved ones. Given these points, it is seen that ‘any term denoting an aspect of life that is indelicate, offensive or unsavoury will generally get euphemistic treatment’ in order to promote social harmony amongst participants.

Through the use of euphemistic expressions, interlocutors can avoid face threatening situations in social interactions, particularly with respect to taboo subject matters such as menstrual bleeding, death, or sex. [It is best that you have an elaboration sentence; the one you had before was insufficient. Also, you don’t mention sex in this paragraph, so don’t include it in your topic sentence]. In an international survey conducted by Clue and the International Women’s Health Coalition, it was found that 5000 different slang terms and euphemisms exist for the lexeme ‘period’, including ‘Aunt Flow’, ‘Code red’ and ‘Lady days’. This study can suggest how euphemistic expressions are used to replace the medical jargon [how is it really medical jargon? I’m sure ‘period’ has a sense of understandability across wider society, so it is by no means jargonistic...] of ‘menstruation’ in order to make the topic less confronting, therefore promoting social harmony (perhaps mention how these euphemisms enable to speakers to mitigate this social taboo of menstruation, thereby protecting the positive face needs of interlocutors given this subject matter arises ... I dunno, just make sure you link back to face needs since this was in your intro and topic sentence). In a similar fashion, many funeral companies use lexemes which hold positive connotations [you need to expand here]. For instance, the slogan of Tobin Brothers Funerals’ is ‘Celebrating lives’; this may be viewed as an oxymoron, as the denotation of a funeral is to commemorate rather than celebrate [I sort of disagree with your point here; who said commemoration and celebration are mutually exclusive?]. As a result, it is used to disguise the topic of death, thereby avoiding any offense that may be caused to the family or loved ones. It is seen that ‘any term denoting an aspect of life that is indelicate, offensive or unsavoury will generally get euphemistic treatment’ [where did this quote come from? You need to state the name of the linguistic, otherwise it’s somewhat redundant] in order to promote social harmony amongst participants.
My advice: At times, your elaboration sentences are far too short in that they are sort of lacking, so you need to expand on these - after all, they are ‘elaboration’ sentences. Furthermore, try embed your examples more seamlessly (try avoid the ‘For example’, or more importantly, the ’this shows that...’). Additionally, you may want to get a linguist quote to back up your assertions. Also, you didn’t really discuss face needs, as mentioned in your intro and topic sentence. As for a positive, the contemporary examples are great; many people use ‘textbook’ examples such as ‘pass away’ versus ‘die’ when talking about death and euphemisms, so good job!

Not only is this language used between different social groups, it is also evident in the public domain such as in politics and the media. It is used create a culturally rich and socially cohesive community by reducing potential offense or embarrassment. For example, a recent episode of The Project explored the political uproar caused by Pauline Hanson’s inquiry about whether or not there was a link between terrorism and refugee. It was then followed by Duncan Lewis, Director General of ASIO (Australian Security Intelligence Organisation) who stated that ‘We’ve had a thousand or so refugees come…and very few of them have become subjects of interest from ASIO and terrorist planning’. Euphemism has been used in ‘subject of interest from ASIO’ which implies that there have been some refugees who have been suspected of being terrorists. However, Lewis refrains from using the pejorative term ‘terrorist’ to avoid generalisations whilst also trying to disguise the fact that there is some connection between refugees and acts of terrorism. In addition to this, euphemisms are put in place depending on the desired effect on its audience. For example, Australian politicians employ the dysphemistic term ‘slaughter of innocent’ when referring to terror attacks on the Australian community. In contrast, terms such as ‘peacekeeping efforts’ and ‘collateral damage’ are used when describing the killings of other nations by our own people. This euphemistic terms attempts to position society into viewing the killings as something that is needed to ensure a ‘peaceful’ outcome, and therefore, help aid the social ties within Australia.

Euphemism are also prevalent in the political hemisphere and the media; particularly in regards to constructing a culturally rich and and socially cohesive community by reducing potential offense or embarrassment. [insert elaboration sentence]. Following Pauline Hanson’s claims inquiry about whether or not there was a link between terrorism and refugee intake, Duncan Lewis, Director General of ASIO, stated that "We’ve had a thousand or so refugees come…and very few of them have become subjects of interest from ASIO and terrorist planning”. Here, ‘subject of interest’ acts as an euphemism, implying that there have been some refugees who have been suspected of being terrorists. However, Lewis refrains from using the pejorative term ‘terrorist’ to avoid generalisations whilst also trying to disguise the fact that there is some connection between refugees and acts of terrorism [tbh I’m not sure if this is relevant as I don’t really see how ’subject of interest’ is euphemistic; perhaps find a better example to use in this paragraph. If you’d like, ‘marriage equality’ in comparison to ’gay marriage' offers an extensive and interesting discussion for Eng land, and given our current political climate, it’s pretty relevant]. Additionally, euphemisms are put in place [find a better phrase] depending on the desired effect on its audience. For example, Australian politicians employ the dysphemistic term ‘slaughter of innocent’ when referring to terror attacks on the Australian community. In contrast, terms such as ‘peacekeeping efforts’ and ‘collateral damage’ are used when describing the killings of other nations by our own people. These euphemistic terms attempts to position society into viewing the killings as something that is needed to ensure a ‘peaceful’ outcome, and therefore, help aid the social ties within Australia [I think you should really expand on this example as it’s really good and fruitful, so maybe take another sentence or two to fully unpack it]. [insert linking sentence].
My advice: pretty good BP; you just need to work on expanding on your ideas and examples. Also, include a quote(s) in this paragraph.

Despite its role in promoting social cohesion in the Australian community, euphemisms can obfuscate and lead to confusion as they are simply ‘unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne’. Earlier this year, Daniel Andrews, MP, declared that he wants to pass the ‘Assisted dying bill’ in Victoria, or in more simple terms, euthanasia. In response to this, the Catholic Education office sent out messages to Catholic schools asking them to vote against the bill. A newsletter sent to the parents of St. Joseph’s School stated that ‘Euphemisms such as ‘assisted dying’ and ‘dying with dignity’ are being hailed as acts of compassion, yet, with the sugar coating removed, euthanasia is about actively killing someone, and assisted suicide is helping someone to suicide.’ This highlights the frustration of the Catholic Church on the way in which politicians attempt to disguise the ‘ugly truth’ by making it sound less confronting and therefore leading to misinformed decision making. Furthermore, euphemistic speech can lead to confusion amongst the youth and may even lead to developing an ‘overly sensitive’ generation. An NHS trust in Scotland has called parents to stop using euphemistic terms for genitals and ‘tell it like it is’. This is because, although they are useful in avoiding embarrassing situations, they can also be problematic. For example, saying ‘Grandad has gone to sleep’ is a sensitive way of discussing the taboo of death, however, the euphemism of ‘sleep’ may cause confusion in other contexts such as telling a child that the couple got divorced because ‘he slept with another woman’. This may cause the child to wonder why such a drastic action is needed ‘because of a sleepover’. Overall, although euphemisms help aid social harmony, they also function to confuse or manipulate the truth.

 Despite their role in promoting social cohesion in the Australian community, euphemisms can obfuscate and lead to confusion as they are ‘unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne’ [where is the linguist’s name?]. Earlier this year, MP Daniel Andrews put forth the ‘Assisted dying bill’ in the Victorian Parliament [correct me if I’m wrong here, I’m not too knowledgeable with this area]. or in more simple terms, euthanasia. In response to this, the Catholic Education office sent out messages to Catholic schools asking them to vote against the bill; for instance, newsletters were sent to the parents of St. Joseph’s School, stating, ‘Euphemisms such as ‘assisted dying’ and ‘dying with dignity’ are being hailed as acts of compassion, yet, with the sugar coating removed, euthanasia is about actively killing someone, and assisted suicide is helping someone to suicide.’ This highlights the frustration of the Catholic Church in the way in which politicians attempt to disguise the ‘ugly truth’ (try be a bit more neutral with your political opinions...) by making it sound less confronting and therefore leading to misinformed decision making. Furthermore, euphemistic speech can lead to confusion amongst the youth and may even lead to developing an ‘overly sensitive’ generation. An NHS trust in Scotland has called parents to stop using euphemistic terms for genitals and ‘tell it like it is’. This is because, although they are useful in avoiding embarrassing situations, they can also be problematic. For example, saying ‘Grandad has gone to sleep’ is a sensitive way of discussing the taboo of death, however, the euphemism of ‘sleep’ may cause confusion in other contexts such as telling a child that the couple got divorced because ‘he slept with another woman’ [What has this got to do with the NHS trust and avoiding euphemisms for genitals?]. This may cause the child to wonder why such a drastic action is needed ‘because of a sleepover’ [this seems a bit like a stretch; if you want to validity your assertions, please use linguist quotes]. Although euphemisms help aid social harmony, they also function to confuse or manipulate the truth.
Advice: you need linguist quotes for strong assertions, and you need to mention the actual linguistic that said the quote.

Euphemistic speech continues to play a pivotal role in social interactions between people as well as in public language; they provide alternative ways to discussing taboo topics or as a way to reduce offence, thus encouraging social harmony between different groups. However, in some cases, its use functions to complicate or disguise the semantic truth.

The essay was pretty good, I think that overall you should link back to the idea of enhancing ’social fabric’ so that you don’t digress from the topic. IMO, I would give the essay a 9-12/15: looking at the VCAA criteria, there wasn’t much metalanguage in your essay, there were some issues with written expression, and most importantly, your analysis of your examples and were lacking at times.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: mtDNA on August 08, 2017, 04:16:55 pm
Hi lillianmaher; as above, I’m just another year 12 Eng-Lang student so please take my advise with a grain of salt. Therefore, it would be appreciated if another AN user could review my corrections. With your SAC, I hope it went well - although I’m correcting it now, it will be useful to keep this essay as it will help for exam revision, given a similar essay question pops up.

Prompt: Australian English is inventive and playful and reflects our national identity. To what extent do you agree?

Australian English (AuE) is a unique dialect of English, which is inventive and playful and reflects the national identity of Australia. Australian English has evolved over the years, beginning at the arrival of the First Fleet, and is continually developing and adapting according to global and national trends. Australian English is a construct that represents national identity both on Australian shores and beyond, as it reflects the many different aspects and influences on Australia, in an inventive and playful manner. The influences on AuE include the arrival of the First Fleet, Aboriginal English and the many ethnolects present in Australia, which have impacted, and continue to play a significant role in the expression of national identity, in addition to the abundance of Australian slang and colloquialisms.

Australian English (AuE) is a unique dialect of English, which is inventive and playful and reflects the national identity of Australia [just personal preference: I wouldn’t copy the prompt word for word in my contention sentence, so try think of synonyms. Apart from that, it's a good topic sentence]. Australian English has evolved over the years, beginning at the arrival of the First Fleet, and is continually developing and adapting according to global and national trends. It is a construct that represents national identity both on Australian shores and beyond, as it reflects the many different aspects and influences on Australia, in an inventive and playful manner [again, find synonyms]. The influences on AuE include the arrival of the First Fleet, Aboriginal English and the many ethnolects present in Australia, which have impacted, and continue to play a significant role in the expression of national identity, in addition to the abundance of Australian slang and colloquialisms.
Advice: apart from synonyms, it’s a pretty solid intro, so good job!

When the First Fleet arrived in 1788, the inventive and playful manner of what is now Australian English was first shown. British soldiers and convicts from Britain, Ireland and Scotland all arrived with the First Fleet, with each having their own accents and dialects of English. However, it was the children from the First Fleet and later arriving ships which were responsible for the creation of the ‘Foundation Accent’ (The Language of Australia). This new accent morphed the accents of the convicts, settlers, squatters and soldiers, as the children would talk more like each other and less like their parents. This new foundation accent gave identity to Australians it was unique, and, being created by the children showed playful and rebellious language. However, at the time of Federation in 1901, the Australian accent was disfavoured, with it being said that Australians that spoke with this accent, ‘don’t know how to speak.’ (The Language of Australia) Elocution classes were introduced to teach children, and adults, the British Received Pronunciation, and the development of the Cultivated Accent occurred. The Australian accent did not appear in Australian film nor television, with the British Broadcasting Company only employing speakers with the British accent. It was not until the 1970’s when speaking with an Australian accent became accepted, as people wanted to be proud of their heritage. Thus being so, the Australian accent today, is as reflection of the history of Australia, and the playful language created by the children of the First Fleet, being a proud marker of national identity.

When the First Fleet arrived in 1788, the inventive and playful manner of what is now Australian English was first exhibited. British soldiers and convicts from Britain [I’m not too sure, but does Britain encompass Scotland?], Ireland and Scotland all arrived with the First Fleet, with each having their own accents and dialects of English. However, it was the children from the First Fleet and later arriving ships which were responsible for the creation of the ‘Foundation Accent’ (The Language of Australia). This new accent morphed the accents of the convicts, settlers, squatters and soldiers, as the children would talk more like each other and less like their parents. This new foundation accent gave identity to Australians since it was unique, and, being created by the children showed playful and rebellious language. However, at the time of Federation in 1901, the Australian accent was disfavoured, with it being said that Australians that spoke with this accent, ‘don’t know how to speak.’ (The Language of Australia) Elocution classes were introduced to teach children and adults the British Received Pronunciation, thereby culminating in the Cultivated Accent. Additionally, the Australian accent did not appear in Australian film nor television, with the British Broadcasting Company only employing speakers with the British accent. It was not until the 1970’s when speaking with an Australian accent became accepted, as people wanted to be proud of their heritage. As such, the Australian accent today is as reflection of our social history and the playful language synthesised by the children of the First Fleet, being a proud marker of national identity.
Advice: About the history: mention the cultural cringe movement (with respect to the resentment towards the Broad accent and the Cultivated being an aspiration, also mention for OVERT prestige and link to Higher socioeconomic status). More importantly: Try to link our colonial past with our current values of egalitarianism, larrikinism, mateship, etc. and explain how these reverberate in our language in modern society (i.e. make the essay CONTEMPORARY). In this paragraph, it is too focused on the history of Australian English, with little focus on the actual prompt, so in effect you’re not really addressing the crux of the question (there isn’t an extensive discussion on national identity/Aust English being playful or inventive). That being said, I can understand where you are coming from as I did the same thing when I wrote an essay about Aust. English. So in essence: this is EL, not history. Apart from that, you expression is great.

Aboriginal English (AbE) is another dialect of English which is a major influence on our national identity. Arising from the need to communicate with the English speaking settlers who arrived in Australia in the 18th Century, Aboriginal English was developed, influenced by the 250 Indigenous Languages that were present at the time of colonisation. Currently, Aboriginal English is spoken by more than 80% of Aboriginal Australians as their main English. There are systematic phonological correspondences between the sound system of AbE and the sound system of Standard Australian English. Features of AbE include a more elaborated pronoun system, with ‘you’ referring to one person, and ‘you-mob’ referring to more than one person. There is also an optional inflection number, where s does not have to be added to show a plural, if the sentence already indicates a plural, for example, ‘Three cat.’ There is also an optional copula, where ‘she busy’ would be used as opposed to ‘she is busy.’ There are also many phonological features of AbE, including no ‘h’ sounds, with ‘f’, ‘v,’ and ‘th’ sounds being rare, as ‘f’ and ‘v’ are pronounced as ‘p’ or ‘b’.  There are lexical differences in Aboriginal English, with ‘debil-debil’ meaning evil spirit, ‘grow up’ meaning raise a child and ‘charging on’ referring to drinking. Aboriginal societies are multi-lingual, and will vary the dialect they speak depending the identity they wish to express. Aboriginal English plays an important role in the expression of National identity, and reflects the cultural diversity that exists in the nation.

Aboriginal English (AbE) is another dialect of English which is a major influence on our national identity. Arising from the need to communicate with the English speaking settlers who arrived in Australia in the 18th Century, Aboriginal English was developed, influenced by the 250 Indigenous Languages that were present at the time of colonisation. Currently, Aboriginal English is spoken by more than 80% of Aboriginal Australians as their main English. There are systematic phonological correspondences between the sound system of AbE and the sound system of Standard Australian English. Features of AbE include a more elaborated pronoun system, with ‘you’ referring to one person, and ‘you-mob’ referring to more than one person. There is also an optional inflection number, where s does not have to be added to show a plural, if the sentence already indicates a plural, for example, ‘Three cat.’ There is also an optional copula, where ‘she busy’ would be used as opposed to ‘she is busy.’ There are also many phonological features of AbE, including no ‘h’ sounds, with ‘f’, ‘v,’ and ‘th’ sounds being rare, as ‘f’ and ‘v’ are pronounced as ‘p’ or ‘b’.  There are lexical differences in Aboriginal English, with ‘debil-debil’ meaning evil spirit, ‘grow up’ meaning raise a child and ‘charging on’ referring to drinking. Aboriginal societies are multi-lingual, and will vary the dialect they speak depending ON the identity they wish to express. Aboriginal English plays an important role in the expression of National identity, and reflects the cultural diversity that exists in the nation.
Advice: again, you don’t really address the prompt in this paragraph - this BP hasn’t explained how AbE reflects our national identity, and hasn’t explained the playful nature of AuE. However, I love the inclusion of all the metalanguage (just use the IPA for the phonemes).

Ethnolect in Australia also reflects the cultural diversity in Australia, and plays an important role in expressing the multi culturalism present in the nation. Individually, Ethnolects reveal the cultural affiliation of the speaker, however, as a whole expresses our national identity, and express the inventive and playful manner of AuE, in particular through the language of children of immigrant families. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, 26.8% of the Australian population was born outside of Australia, totalling over 6 million people. By 2050, it estimated that one third of the nation’s population will be born overseas. Along with this, comes an increase in cultural diversity and the desire for individuals to freely express their cultural identity within the Australian context. Children of immigrant families are often inventive with their language, embracing their cultural heritage whilst adopting some speech patterns of AuE to conform to their peer group. This results in the development of a playful dialect, such as seen on the Australian television show, Here Come the Habibs, which portrays a Lebanese family. The show features a teenage school girl, who speaks with a Lebanese accent using lexemes associated with Lebanon, such as ‘shoo’ meaning what’s up and ‘yallah’ meaning good bye, but also features of a more modern and informal English, such as ‘I swear to God’, ‘totes’ and ‘dis.’ This combination of Ethnolect and AuE is important in displaying the identity of both immigrants, but of Australia as a wider whole.

Ethnolects in Australia also reflect our cultural diversity, playing an important role in manifesting our multicultural values. Individually, ethnolects reveal the cultural affiliation of the speaker; however, as a whole expresses our national identity, and represents the inventive and playful manner of AuE, in particular through the language of children of immigrant families. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, 26.8% of the Australian population was born outside of Australia, totalling over 6 million people. By 2050, it estimated that one third of the nation’s population will be born overseas [This isn’t particularly relevant, just stating that immigrants/speakers with English as their L2 is sufficient]. Along with this, comes an increase in cultural diversity and the desire for individuals to freely express their cultural identity within the Australian context. Children of immigrant families are often inventive [find synonyms] with their language, embracing their cultural heritage whilst adopting some speech patterns of AuE to conform to their peer group. This results in the development of a playful dialect, as seen on the Australian television show Here Come the Habibs, which portrays a migrant Lebanese family living in Australia. The show features a teenage school girl who speaks with a Lebanese accent using lexemes associated with Lebanon, such as ‘shoo’ meaning 'what’s up' and ‘yallah’ meaning 'good bye', but also features of a more modern and informal English, such as ‘I swear to God’, ‘totes’ and ‘dis.’ [better use of contemporary example]. This combination of Ethnolect and AuE is important in displaying the identity of both immigrants, but of Australia as a wider whole.
Advice: I like how you have used the contemporary example; it has a nice analysis which is a huge plus. Overall, this is a good BP as you answer  the first part of the prompt. Just make sure you hone in the national identity part - I’ve noticed you have mentioned it across the essay, but there hasn’t been an extensive analysis on it.

A significant feature of Australian English is slang and colloquialisms which historically reflect the laid back, easy going and friendly nature of Australians. Slang and colloquialisms represent the very playful and inventive nature of AuE, with an Australian National University study finding that ‘using slang words … make tou more likeable to you fellow Australians.’ (Georgia Hitch) Australian slang is continually developing to reflect the values of Australians through the times, with ‘more than 16,000 Australianisms’ (Kate Burridge, The Conversation) being added to the Australian National Dictionary recently. Many of Australian slang words arise from Australia’s strong beach culture, such as ‘cossies’, ‘budgie smugglers’, ‘grommets’, and ‘nippers’. This playing and modifying words is a strong representation of playful nature of Australians, whilst further reflecting our values, such as beach culture. Diminutives are a common feature in Australian slang, including ‘ambo’, ‘truckie’, ‘uggies’, ‘barbie’ and ‘cockie,’ each with their own unique connotations which are understood by Australians. The playfulness of Australian slang plays a significant role in portraying the Australian identity.

A significant feature of Australian English is slang and colloquialisms which historically reflect the nonchalant and friendly nature of Australians. Slang and colloquialisms represent the very playful and inventive nature of AuE, with an Australian National University study finding that ‘using slang words … make you more likeable to you fellow Australians.’ (Georgia Hitch) Australian slang is continually developing to reflect the values of Australians through the times, with ‘more than 16,000 Australianisms’ (Kate Burridge, The Conversation) being recently added to the Australian National Dictionary [ such as ‘...’]. Many of Australian slang words arise from Australia’s strong beach culture, such as ‘cossies’, ‘budgie smugglers’, ‘grommets’, and ‘nippers’. This playing and modifying words [use lexemes to sound smarter :) ]is a strong representation of the playful nature of Australians, whilst further reflecting our values, such as beach culture. Hypocoristic diminutives are a common feature in Australian slang, including ‘ambo’, ‘truckie’, ‘uggies’, ‘barbie’ and ‘cockie,’ each with their own unique connotations which are understood by Australians. The playfulness of Australian slang plays a significant role in portraying the Australian identity.
Advice: although this paragraph addresses the prompt, the examples you have used are sort of ‘textbook’ examples, so try find something unique.

Australian English is the major channel for the expression of national identity, expressing the values of Australians, and their inventive and playful way of communicating. There has been, and continues to be an abundance of influences on AuE, including colonisation, Aboriginal English and Ethnolect. The use of slang and colloquialisms in AuE are an important way for Australians to express their laid back and friendly nature, and to further develop the national identity.

Overall, the essay is pretty good (hence the lack of my corrections), I just think there should be a closer link between your arguments and the prompt. For instance, BP1 doesn’t really mention anything about national identity and only touches the surface of AuE being playful and inventive, whilst BP2 just seemed like a paragraph describing the features of AbE (I couldn’t see a link to AuE and our national identity). Additionally, you should include more linguist quotes to back up your assertions. However, your written expression is great, so you definitely have the potential to write an excellent essay.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Mapleflame on September 14, 2017, 06:56:41 pm
Does anyone have/know where to find a list of practice essay questions?
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: sarah.99 on September 15, 2017, 09:20:15 pm
Hello, Could you please correct this? The topic is The language we use says alot about our identity and the groups we belong to. Thank you.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: EulerFan102 on September 15, 2017, 09:56:41 pm
Does anyone have/know where to find a list of practice essay questions?

Well, in my opinion, the VCAA past exams would probably be the best place to start. They have 3 different essay topics per year, so there's an enormous range of topics available there. Also all the topics have stimulus material, which allows you to practise incorporating the stimuli into your essays. Keep in mind that the content and style of the course has changed over the years, so some of the older essay topics may not reflect the current study design. However, in my opinion, most questions from about 2005/6 onwards would be applicable to the current study design.  ;D
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: mgoulding16 on September 17, 2017, 01:24:53 pm
Hi! This is a pretty ordinary essay and I'm not confident with this topic, but if someone could give feedback that would be great! (Its AoS 2)

Language can establish a sense of individuality as well as a sense of belonging and solidarity. It can, however, also be used to gain power and prestige. Discuss.

Identity is not a fixed constant. Language enables us to construct, change and redesign our identity for different purposes. This could be our personality or establishing ourselves as part of a group, but language can also be used in order to gain power and prestige. Different groups and contexts require different varieties of language to be utilised in order to communicate effectively. Individual identity is commonly displayed through the evolving online communication platform, whereas slang and jargon promote a sense of belonging and solidarity. Power and prestige can be gained through adhering to the overt or covert norms of society, but an individual's speech repertoire and the knowledge of how to use it is the most powerful of all.

An individual's speech can be drawn upon in order to establish non-linguistic features about them. Their intelligence, aspirations and personal traits can all be assumed through idiosyncratic features of their language. The online society of the Internet is a great example of individual identity, where users have been forced to move away from the written standard, as it simulates a virtual conversation face to face, where spoken language is required. Graphic variation in online communication is reflective of natural speech patterns and personality. Punctuation, spelling and use of emojis in social media posts, all enable an individual to display their identity whilst talking to friends, or like minded people. The ellipsis (...) enables a pause of thought which would be heard in spoken language to be imagined via a text, and elongation of vowel sounds such as “sooooo” allows interlocutors to convey the tone in which the may be speaking in. These small deviances from the written standard are crucial in displaying emotion which is required in online communication, and individuals are able to manipulate them in order to best express their identity for the context.

Humans are social beings, and hence have an innate desire to be apart of groups. These circles have particular language requirements that make it easier to communicate, and in order to be included, it is essential that this language is utilised effectively. Both military and medical fields employ jargon and slang, which creates group identity and solidarity. Military jargon employs doublespeak as noted in Joel Homer’s 1979 glossary text “Jargon”, where soldiers were instructed to “render hostile personnel inoperable” rather than “kill the enemy”. Contrastively, medical jargon often consists of very specific lexemes which have no replacement in everyday language. Disease, drug and operation names all are examples of this. Both of these complex language forms are used in order to communicate effectively between members of the same group, and are hence clearly associated with these circles, even if the meaning is unknown by outsiders. 

Slang is used to purposely exclude and form barriers between those who are apart of the group and those who are not. Medical and Military slang are again very good examples of this, where the meaning is required to be kept a secret from patients or relatives of patients and superiors or civilians, respectively. This is due to the usually offensive nature of the slang, which is utilised to build rapport amongst the groups, and further reinforce their group identity. The Happy Hospitalist in states that acronyms written on handover sheets in hospital ward often contain unofficial acronyms such as “FTF” (failed to fly) for a suicide attempt, or use them as a disguise in spoken language such as ELFs (evil little fuckers) to refer to kids. Similarly, although there are many official acronyms in Military slang such as AWOL (absent without leave) and NLT (no later than), there are many that have been coined by the soldiers themselves such as “SCRAN” (Shit Cooked by the Royal Australian Navy) and “RHIP” (Rank Has Its Privileges). These are obviously required to be kept a secret from superiors, but build rapport amongst those who understand it. The language in both of these cases ensure group solidarity and form in group membership which allows them to cope with the high stress level of their work environment.

Both the dominant and broad communities have norms which when adhered to, give power to those who use them. This is due to the prestige associated with the language within that community. The covert norms of particular sociolects and social circles, such as young teenage males, vary drastically from what be considered appropriate by the dominant community. For example, many young Australian teenagers have replaced the mode of address “mate” with the strong dysphemism “cunt” such as “Hey cunts!”. This word has been deemed as “not as offensive” in Australia as it may be in Britain or America, during a court case in August 2017, yet a majority of the population reject use of the word. This mode of address is associated with this sub group however, and those who use it correctly gain prestige and power within the circle, but not outside within the dominant community. In contrast, Standard Australian English is associated with power, wealth and education., and hence so too are the people who use it. These things are held in high regard by many people, and so it gains overt prestige.

Having a wide speech repertoire and the ability to apply it to multiple situations is what allows our individual and group identities to be established. Language enables us to develop all of our identities and vary them depending on the platforms through which we communicate, the people with whom we are communicating and the image we wish to portray. The varying groups and subgroups within our Australian society all have standards of their own and require different language choices in order to establish power and prestige amongst the circle with whom we wish to communicate. Our language choices allow for our identity to be fluid, not rigid, and hence it serves multiple purposes.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: EulerFan102 on September 17, 2017, 02:18:53 pm
(Well, here are my thoughts on the essay. Generally, you need to be wary of using 'absolutes', saying that something definitely leads to something else. Also, using some 2017 Australian examples would add depth to your essay, and it's something the VCAA assessors seem to love.)

Our speech holds an important function of displaying our identity as well as more obvious functions of communicating our views. Gender has a major influence on the way we construct our language due to the differing social pressures and stereotypes. Many characteristics specific to an individual are intertwined in our idiolect. The sound of socio economic classes from the Bogan stereotype to business man can be easily identified. Information about geographical background is also prevalent in our slang and accent especially places where these geographical sociolects should much variance over a short distance. (well I'm not really sure what you're trying to say in the last section)
To start off, a clear difference in individual’s identity is gender which is clearly displayed in language. (clear difference? If I gave you a transcript of someone talking, chances are you wouldn’t be able to tell me their gender. So try and use ‘softer’ language e.g. language can reflect a person’s gender) This difference has its roots in the ideals that society lay down for us. Of course not everyone follows them, but exploring some strong features give us insight into assumptions made about identity. Women tend to stick closer to the standard and adhere to their interlocutors’ negative face needs. This is shown through their use of hedging expressions like ‘sort of’ and polite forms like indirect request ‘would you by any chance like to give me a lift’ (an article I recently read said that there was no real difference in male vs. female language. Some sources would be great here if you’re going to state these variations) and euphemism ‘senior’ or ‘postmenopausal’ instead of ‘old’. (again, I would be quite surprised if there was a distinct gender split around use of “senior”) James Button wrote in (in when?) that ‘the sound of girls’ soccer is ‘sorry … sorry… sorry’’, their frequent apologies show that from a young age girls don’t want to impose or else they will look pushy and overly confident. In contrast, men may rely on not attending to the face needs of others and using nonstandard features to maintain a ‘macho man’ image where they use colloquial expressions especially in the form of expletives like ‘fair dinkum’ (‘fair dinkum’ is an expletive??) and swearing. (but a 2016 study concluded that women swear more than men...) In this way the lingo of males and females differ and this aspect of individual’s identity can be determined. (okay, in my opinion, I’m not the biggest fan of gender identity paragraphs. This is just because I think that most other factors, e.g. ethnicity, age, class, influence a person’s language more. Also, you need to be really careful about not making an generalisations, something VCAA assessors have said in the past)
Stereotypically, a straight forward continuum that is used to determine the socio-economic class of an individual or group is their degree of standard language used. (again, this is making it seem like there’s a definite correlation between, say, the broad accent and a lower socioeconomic status. However, this is not always the case) Higher classes use what they would call ‘Proper English’ to gain overt prestige over the majority. This is because standard features such as using correct grammar like ‘ such fun’ and furthermore, elevated, elongated adjectives like ‘marvellous’ and ‘atrocious’ are linked with power, education and wealth. Alternatively, lower socio-economic status could be assumed when one has a broader accent and uses slang especially Australian hypocorisms like ‘barbie’ (hypocorism really only refers to diminutives of people’s names, so “barbie” would not be one) and ‘Davo’ and frequent explicit terms. However, these features do also embody ‘more human qualities like integrity, social attractiveness and friendliness’ according to Kate Burridge. Where ever a person falls in the continuum (which continuum?) an extension of their traits will be judged as they are undeterminably intertwined (again, avoid absolute language like this. No doubt there’s some people of a high socioeconomic class who speak like ‘bogans’) and they are categorised in a group.
Finally, our geographical background also impacts the way we speak and has a way of accepting and excluding others. This is shown perfectly in the quote from Matt Campbell ‘If you’re from Melbourne, you’ll know Bay 13 is the possie at the ‘G where yobbos piff tinnies and go home in the back of a divvy van’’. The shortening of ‘Melbourne cricket ground’ to ‘G’ and diminutives ‘yobbo’ and ‘tinnies’ would only be recognisable to those who live in the area. (but I reckon all Australians would be able to understand these terms...) In fact, because of this it is more special to the group because no one else would be able to understand in order to be part of conversation. (in my opinion, socioeconomic status would be more important in understanding the quote, not geography) It is common that lexemes denoting place are reduced like the shopping centres ‘chaddy’ and ‘southy’ and ‘franga’ which has a further connotation of lower socioeconomic class because it is commonly used in its diminutive form. (but what about diminutives like 'pollie' and 'Tassie' and 'veggie'? Just because it's a diminutive doesn't mean it's 'bogan') Accent is also a major marker of place; not significantly in Australia because there isn’t much regional variation but more so in America and England. (I would be hesitant to use examples from abroad; VCAA places a big emphasis on talking about Australian English and using Australia-centric examples) Since there is such variety in a relatively small area, accent can be a major factor in separation of groups and ‘It signals identification with one group and rejection of another’ as quoted from G.moodie.
Overall, the way in which we perceive others is greatly influenced by our manner of speaking. It can differ as different groups like gender, place of origin and socioeconomic group share different nonstandard tendencies. When an individual uses these features they show their in-group membership and show solidarity and in this way are include and in turn exclude others.
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Bri MT on September 17, 2017, 02:55:18 pm
@Sarah.99

I'm also an Eng lang student so I'm not an expert but I've provided some comments.
Mainly I think you should focus on phrasing, for example, I can tell that you don't think that language is absolutely determined by gender, but in your writing you sometimes act as if that is the case. I would also work on choosing relevant examples, and controlled use of writing conventions
Title: Re: English Language essay submission and marking
Post by: Bri MT on September 19, 2017, 08:34:25 pm
I am only a fellow year 12 student with very little essay writing experience
Language can establish a sense of individuality as well as a sense of belonging and solidarity. It can, however, also be used to gain power and prestige. Discuss.


Identity is not a fixed constant. Language enables us to construct, change and redesign our identity for different purposes. This could be our personality or establishing ourselves as part of a group, but language can also be used in order to gain power and prestige. Different groups and contexts require different varieties of language to be utilised in order to communicate effectively. Individual identity is commonly displayed through the evolving online communication platform Pretty sure that there are multiple online communication platforms. Maybe consider "evolving use of the intenet as a medium for communication", whereas personal preference, I'm not a fan of the way this has been structured as oppositional ideas, especially since slang and jargon are VERY VERY common on the internet.    I would also slightly prefer for you to say here that "slang and jargon are used to construct group identity"   because they are also used to alienate, and your clause doesn't show that.  slang and jargon promote a sense of belonging and solidarity. Power and prestige can be gained through adhering to the overt or covert norms of society, but why is a contrast being drawn here?an individual's speech repertoire and the knowledge of how to use it is the most powerful of all.

An individual's speech can be drawn upon in order to establish non-linguistic features about them. Their intelligence, aspirations and personal traits can all be assumedthankyou for saying assumed rather than acting as if conclusion drawn were fact through idiosyncratic features of their language. The online society of the Internet is a great example of individual identity, where users have been forced to move away from the written standard, as it simulates a virtual conversation face to face, where spoken language is required the idea of this sentence is good, but it needs work on execution. Graphic variation in online communication is reflective of natural speech patterns and personality. Punctuation, spelling and use of emojis in social media posts, all enable an individual to display their identity whilst talking to friends, or like minded people. The ellipsis (...) enables a pause of thought which would be heard in spoken language to be imagined via a text, and elongation of vowel sounds such as “sooooo” allows interlocutors to convey the tone in which the may be speaking in. These small deviances deviations from the written standard are crucial in displaying emotion which is required in online communication all online communication? Would you expect emojis when reading the ToS of an online game?, and individuals are able to manipulate them in order to best express their identity for the context.

Humans are social beings, and hence have an innate desire to be apartfix this of groups. These circleswhen did geometry feature in this?  :P      should probably add the word social in there have particular language requirements would expectations be a better word? that make it easier to communicate, and in order to be included, it is essential that this language is utilised effectively. Both military and medical fields employ jargon and slang, which creates group identity and solidarity. Military jargon employs doublespeak as noted in Joel Homer’s 1979 glossary text “Jargon”, where soldiers were instructed to “render hostile personnel inoperable” rather than “kill the enemy”is the purpose of this paticular phrase to promote group membership? Or is it only to obfuscate?. Contrastively In contrast, , medical jargon often consists of very specific lexemes which have no replacement in everyday language. Disease, drug and operation names all are examples of this. Both of these complex language forms are used in order to communicate effectively between members of the same group, and are hence clearly associated with these circles,put "even if" before "and are hence" for clarity even if the meaning is unknown by outsiders. 

Slang is can be used to purposely exclude and form barriers between those who are apart of the group and those who are not. Medical and Military why capitals? slang are again very good examples of this, where the meaning is required to be kept a secret from patients or relatives of patients and superiors or civilians, respectively. This is due to the usually offensive nature of the slang, which is utilised to build rapport amongst the groups, and further reinforce their group identity. The Happy Hospitalist in states that acronyms written on handover sheets in hospital ward often contain unofficial acronyms such as “FTF” (failed to fly) for a suicide attempt, or use them as a disguise in spoken language such as ELFs (evil little fuckers) to refer to kids. Similarly, although there are many official acronyms in Military slang such as AWOL (absent without leave) and NLT (no later than), there are many that have been coined by the soldiers themselves such as “SCRAN” (Shit Cooked by the Royal Australian Navy) and “RHIP” (Rank Has Its Privileges). These are obviously required to be kept a secret from superiors, but build rapport amongst those who understand it. The language in both of