ATAR Notes: Forum
HSC Stuff => HSC Subjects + Help => HSC Marking and Feedback => Topic started by: Matth3wliu on May 22, 2020, 10:56:20 am
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Hey, can someone please give me some feed back on how I can improve on answering the question?
"All human beings have an innate need to hear and tell stories to have a story to live by"
Evaluate the statement in relation to your prescribed text
Storytelling extend beyond its purpose of entertainment, offering the audience an opportunity to discover the world around them. During Jackie and Tony's heated conversation, Billy plays his mother's theme song on the piano. The aural motif is symbolic of Billy's fixation to his passed mother. His reluctance to move on from the past evokes a frustrated response from Jackie, as he slams the piano. This suggests that Jackie's have been largely consumed by the grief of his wife's passing and inability to provide nurturance for his children. After realizing Billy's potential of escaping the deprived and confined world of Durham through Ballet, Jackie undergoes a transition. Inspired by the supportive nature of Billy's mom, Jackie surrenders his 'bad faith' of succumbing to the toxic masculine views inherent in mining communities during the 1980s and begins to support Billy's passion. The extreme close-up shot highlights the sentimental value of Jenny's jewellery for Jackie, as it symbolised the strong relationship that the family once had. Jackie ultimately sacrifices the last remaining memories of his wife by pawning the jewellery in order to raise money for Billy. This plays an significant role in Jackie's development as he accepts Jenny's demise and begins to provide the support that Billy missed as a teenager, as a true father. By doing so, Jackie is able to understand and reconnect with his sons. This is evident through the medium shot of Billy and Jackie sitting next to each other on the wooden fencing. Daldry has consciously chosen to shoot the scene at the grass field adjacent to Jenny's grave, incorporating diegetic sounds of bird chirping that suggests a harmonious mood to emphasis the restored relationship within the Elliot family. In *Billy Elliot,* Daldry portrays the collective experience of loss through the story of the Elliot family. Through which, we see positive outlooks from a negative experience where the Elliot's are relinquished from the torment of loss and develop a stronger bond.
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Hey Matt, these are some of the things I picked up on.
Pros:
good techniques
use of filmic techniques - dietetic :)
good thesis
Cons:
feels a bit telling.
you tend to recount a lot about the story, where I think you should use the statement in conjunction and reference with Billy Elliot
needs more essay structure - at times you have a statement with no premise.
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Hey UzaSaa,
Thank you for the feedback. Could you please elaborate on your last suggestion?