That's amazing what you do for the disabled community, but it must be really hard watching people go through things when you have formed a connection. How often to you volunteer? Do you think you want to go down that path in the future for a job, or continue it in the forms of humanitarian work?
How do you learn Auslan? I know there is a Distance Language Centre along with DECV, but I would imagine the course structure would have to be so different to the speaking languages. Random question, but how different it Auslan to the american or British sign languages?
Aside from your studies and volunteer work, and the debate team, do you have any hobbies? Or are you too busy? It looks like you have a packed schedule.
Hey Laura,
Nice mix of subjects! :)
I'm looking forward to following the rest of your journey through VCE. I've always wanted to do some volunteering, which is something that I want to do after I finish school. Which subjects at school do you enjoy the most?
Hey smallbean!!
I would so encourage you to get involved in volunteering as soon as you have the time. I know that I find no matter how much I am helping others through what I do, I always find that I get so much more back! There was this time a little while ago when one of the children did not want to separate from her mother (which meant that her mum couldn't have the three-hour break that the volunteering service aims to provide), and she said to us, "As much as it is about the break, it is about knowing you are not alone. About having someone walk this journey with me." To this day that is what inspires me. Unfortunately, I was meant to be volunteering this morning but the service had to cancel the session as too many carers are sick.
At school, I really enjoy the humanities and English subjects. I have discovered a love for science that I probably last saw in year 7 after choosing to undertake 1/2 bio this year. I think that a mix of uninspiring teachers and a cohort with a dislike for science made me think that perhaps it wasn't for me. I also enjoy aspects of maths (we just started combinatorics and that's been super interesting). What are your favourite subjects?
Hey! I also studied bio early and was spent a lot of time on extracurriculars. I didn't do much debating as I couldn't get a team together at my school but 3rd and 2nd are certainly the best imo - impromptu public speaking is great :D.
In year 12 you may find some pressure to drop your extracurriculars so I want to say now please strongly consider not doing that. Pull back a bit if you need/want to but please don't ditch them entirely. Not only can they help you get into LaTrobe (I'm not sure if OT is in the Aspire program but if it is you should definitely apply) but I found that my extracurriculars helped me get an ATAR I was happy with by helping protect my headspace.
I'm not sure if you've seen but there's a uni journey journal on Occupational Therapy and although it's inactive I think if you pm'd the user who ran it they'd be happy to answer questions :)
I knew Auslan is different from sign language in other countries but I had no idea about the regional variation - thank you for sharing :)
What's the most interesting geocache you've found? For me, it's one where you had to find a hidden string and pull on it to get to the cache.
Keen to follow your journal - best of luck! :)
Woah I can already tell this journal is gonna be epic ;D
I'm really looking forward to your future entries ;)
I had a lot of fun with the kids at work today! As volunteering was cancelled this morning I could spend the whole day with just one family. In the morning I spent time with my client's (who I'll call A) two-year-old brother, who calls me "Nor". We played with the "Toot-toots" and then had lunch together. In the afternoon I took A to the aquarium and she loved it! She really enjoyed our time on the train and loved the penguins. On our way home, she kept reaching out to me from her wheelchair for hugs. She was very loud on the train home as she was excited so we got lots of funny looks but I was just happy she was happy. Also, she is going to a respite care program for a week tomorrow but I got invited to visit her which is exciting!
TL;DR: I had a wonderful day at work!
Being deeply loved gives you strength, loving deeply gives you courage. -Lao Tzu
I think it’s amazing you are doing so much in the disability community. The world is in need of more caring, empathetic people who give so much, like you. How often do you volunteer here, and what are some of your most memorable, treasured experiences? I have always wanted to do volunteering, but never did it. I hope to do so once Year 12 is over.
What are your fav books? Maybe you could share some of your poetry later on if you felt comfortable. I love reading poetry. I love that you are keeping up with doing many extracurriculars which helps take your mind off the whole study side of things. It’s the bets feeling being able to surprise people with your talents and abilities. People are incredibly judgemental, and when another side shines through when you are doing something you love, they are astounded. I hope you keep up with at least some of these extracurriculars when Year 12 rolls around.
Your journal is honestly going to be so amazing, I can already tell.
There are so many wonderful things about volunteering and it has been so wonderful to be able to impact so many lives, in a way that enriches my life so muchHey, I've just been reading about how you volunteer, and I agree- it is really enriching and rewarding! I'm also looking forward to reading updates!!! ^-^
...
I think that no matter what kind of volunteering you do and no matter how much of yourself you give, you will be enriched so much more than you could ever imagine!
...
There is no way I can choose a favourite book currently but I can definitely narrow it down:
1. All The Bright Places (cliche, I know)
Thanks Mango!
There are so many wonderful things about volunteering and it has been so wonderful to be able to impact so many lives, in a way that enriches my life so much. The first time A made a sign (the sign for more) to her music therapist has probably been the best experience I've had as it was such a massive breakthrough. Seeing someone come to the understanding that they are able to communicate and the way that learning Auslan is going to open up so many possibilities for A is so exciting! Through this program I volunteer once a month for three hours, which is about all the kids can handle as the idea is that their parents have a break. I have in the past worked in a cooking class for adults with intellectual disabilities and also do kids program and morning tea duties every week at my church, which is also a fair commitment. I think that no matter what kind of volunteering you do and no matter how much of yourself you give, you will be enriched so much more than you could ever imagine!
Omg I loved Cathy Cassidy as well when I was younger. I used to be thoroughly obsessed with her back then.
Yay! Another fan! Have to ask, which book of hers was most memorable to you or your favourite? Also, do you write poems?
Hello hello!
Super quick update: got my semester one exam results back! :D
A*: English, Governing The Modern World (Politics/Legal), Unit 1 Bio, Unit 1 Religion and Society
A: Science, Adv Maths
Ugh:
During exams I was feeling super duper drained and could barely bring myself to study for the last two, let alone even try my best during them. I know my marks were fine but I still feel like I didn't put in my best effort. I feel really burnt out all the time and it's only Year 10. Often I question whether or not I'll be able to handle the pressure of Year 12. It feels like this massive thing looming in the not so distant future. I feel tired all the time and I'm getting sick a lot. I have this constant headache that creeps up to a migraine when I get particularly stressed. Sorry if this was a bit much but I'm just feeling a bit lost at the minute.
Honestly, in the younger year levels I struggled a lot with my energy, mood and motivation and during exams it always seems to flare up again. I cannot wait for a break. But feeling like this makes me wonder if things get any better at uni or at work? What if students get out into the real world and find out that it's every bit as bad as school.
Anyways...
Today's Playlist:
- Scars to Your Beautiful (Lara Dabbagh)
- Unwell (Matchbox Twenty)
- Breathe Me (Sia)
- Pretty Hurts (Beyonce)
- Unsteady (X Ambassador)
Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.
I intended this to be a lot shorter than it was! (Sorry! :-\)
laura <3
(1) Did you self-teach uke?
(2) Actually, this isn't a question haha - more a statement. Re: workload and stuff through VCE, and then uni and work, I think you kinda adapt to what's around you. I thought the exact same things in Year 10, and here I am, doing fine. If you're concerned about the fatigue etc., though, I'd recommend checking in with a doctor if you can, just to make sure there's no underlying cause. :)
Hi Laura! Fellow year 10 here, and I’m loving your journal! Please never stop updating <3
How do you find bio? I’m thinking of doing it in the future and would love to hear your thoughts on the subject!
All the best for your journey! xx
hiya,
1. yeah, i did self teach! i only know five chords (c, a flat, g, f, d), but with them and a variety of strumming patterns, you can play most songs. i've found that there are heaps of tutorials on youtube which have been great!
So I got all my biology work done before the end of term, but I think my exhaustion got to me a bit. I've been a straight A* student and I got my first (and hopefully last) B on my final assignment. I thought I would be disappointed but I think I'm past the point of caring. Other than that I was super happy with all the assignment marks that I got back.
Hey guys!Same! I feel like I'm already so behind on work.
Minor update: I am having a really hard time getting motivated this term. The work is already piling up as I've already missed a bunch of classes (after only two days).
What's that about?
I am off to the Brain Bee tomorrow (having learnt almost none of the content). There was an 18 chapter book to read, and I have read the introduction and most of the first chapter. I think that I am going to have to wing it at this point, but y'know, not actually super disappointed about that. Was feeling a lot more stressed about it this morning when I was trying to learn everything.
a Maths test.Which topic, I have a maths test next week.
Motivation is fickle, but by working on building better habits you're already helping to nurture it.
Good luck! :)
What's that about?
Which topic, I have a maths test next week.
Having a great time reading your journal :)
I plan on entering the Brain Bee in Year 10 also! It seems like a really interesting area of science to look into. Did you find passing the first round particularly difficult?
The day at Melbourne Uni is such a great experience, so I would definitely do your best with the initial study if only to have the tour and get to learn a lot about neuroscience on the day.Not sure if I'll be touring unimelb as I'm in Queensland, but I'm sure there will be something similar. Just started to think about studying for it because the online resource we were given for Spanish class also had courses for the 2019 Brain Bee. Currently working through them. In terms of starting early, I may have jumped the gun by about two years, so that could come in handy down the track.
Not sure if I'll be touring unimelb as I'm in Queensland, but I'm sure there will be something similar. Just started to think about studying for it because the online resource we were given for Spanish class also had courses for the 2019 Brain Bee. Currently working through them. In terms of starting early, I may have jumped the gun by about two years, so that could come in handy down the track.
Thanks for sharing your experience; It's been a help :)
What did you miss out on for R&S? Feel free to PM me.
Thanks Nathan! I don't even know what I missed, just the introduction to the ethics topic and the lesson where the teacher explained this half of the course. There is also a booklet of work to do that she still has to print for me. Luckily, I have a grasp on what ethics is, but I just have no idea what work from the booklet I am meant to have done, or how to write up an essay about an ethics topic.
I suggest having a look at the United Nations Declaration of Human Rights pdf attached if you haven't already, cause we have to base our reasoning on it. I've also attached a list of terms for the ethics topic so far. The definitions are all from the Nelson textbook (reliable according to my teacher). The ones I haven't typed a definition down aren't in the glossary so I advise creating a definition and getting it checked.
- Read and annotate TKAMB Chapters 2-5 and read the summaries we were given in class. I also want to finish off the questions about Chapter 2 and write my own chapter summaries about all that I have read.
I finished the Chapter 2 questions, but I only read up to Chapter 3.
- Finish Chapter 2 of Bio Basics and work through the powerpoint I missed in class. (And also work through the four worksheets that I missed in class.)
Did the other stuff, but procrastination and a strong dislike for powerpoints mean I still urgently need to do this.
- Write up my science prac report and finish a glossary of forensic terms. Also, watch the last video that I missed and fill in that worksheet.
Really need to get around to this!
- Read over my maths notes in preparation for the test and maybe do some practice problems.
My test is actually on Tuesday, so I guess I still have tonight.
Sending good vibes!
laura <3
What a week! It was extremely intense, but I really enjoyed it!MY WEEKMonday
- I had community service in the afternoon, my last session for the year. I got to spend lots of time with the kids and I was invited back to do some extra stuff there in my free time if I feel like it.
- I felt fairly productive today.
Tuesday
- I was at school all day. (A first for the term!)
- I had a rehearsal for the school production after school.
Wednesday
- Once again, I spent a whole day at school.
- I managed to catch up on everything that I was behind in.
- Had a very long-overdue dentist appointment.
- In terms of getting things done and being productive, I gave myself 10/10.
Thursday
- It was Founders Day at school! (AKA. the best day of the year!) It was fantastic because we didn't have any classes. There was really good food that you could get at lunch and it ended with the House Spirit assembly, where my friend and I were on the trivia team.
- I watched a fair bit of TV, but didn't have much homework, so it was fine.
Friday
- I had a dress rehearsal for the school production all day! It was hectic but everything really seemed to come together. My voice was super hoarse at the end thanks to all the singing and shouting my character did.
- Spent the evening hanging out with friends and not doing homework, but I really enjoyed it.
- I felt super exhausted.
Saturday
- I got up early and did some volunteer respite care. I then did my paid carer job in the afternoon. I took my little friend on a very long bike ride and we both thoroughly enjoyed it.
- I made some soup (pumpkin and carrot) to take to my grandparents.
Sunday
- I went to church and spent some time making hot drinks for people.
- I visited a lady from church who's in hospital due to her disability. It was great to see her and I think that I will try to make it a regular thing as she seemed to enjoy it and will be spending quite a while longer there.
- Hoping to get some stuff done tonight, but there is a new episode of Survivor so we’ll see…
My goals for the upcoming week:
1. To survive the production. To do my best at the performances and enjoy myself!
2. To stay on top of work for my english class, history class, forensics class and religion class. I will focus on biology and maths the week after.
3. To continue working on my Auslan.
4. To do my best at all my other commitments this week (Monday: debating, a secret topic round, Tuesday: Eltham Youth Leadership Council, Thursday-Saturday: production, Sunday: visiting my friend from the hospital).
5. To get an A* on the religion test that is most likely this week. (if not, this can be a goal for next week)
oof how do you have time to even do other stuff aside from studying im literally dying from how much my parent's are making me study (tbf i force myself to study too haha) (i do volunteering at my local library and cook and bake but i barely have time to hang out with people)
I know what you mean. Every year I say that I'll drop some commitments but I never seem to manage it, as I'm always picking up new things. I really enjoy it, but my school work is suffering a little bit at the minute. I think that once production ends I'll be back on track though! ;D
What kind of things do you like to cook and bake? I feel like that is something I never get the time to do anymore, but that I use to love.
I know what you mean. Every year I say that I'll drop some commitments but I never seem to manage it, as I'm always picking up new things. I really enjoy it, but my school work is suffering a little bit at the minute. I think that once production ends I'll be back on track though! ;D
What kind of things do you like to cook and bake? I feel like that is something I never get the time to do anymore, but that I use to love.
aiyaa hopefully it does get better! i like mainly cook pasta and indian dishes (biryani, karahi, etc.) and i just bake brownies and cupcakes for myself
My goals for the upcoming week:
1. To survive the production. To do my best at the performances and enjoy myself!
2. To stay on top of work for my english class, history class, forensics class and religion class. I will focus on biology and maths the week after.
3. To continue working on my Auslan.
4. To do my best at all my other commitments this week (Monday: debating, a secret topic round, Tuesday: Eltham Youth Leadership Council, Thursday-Saturday: production, Sunday: visiting my friend from the hospital).
5. To get an A* on the religion test that is most likely this week. (if not, this can be a goal for next week)
I made some cookies yesterday and was certainly thinking of this post! It was actually heaps of fun.
My goals for this week:
1. To get an A* on the religion test and fully catch up on all that I've missed.
2. To catch up on the maths that I am currently very behind on.
3. To keep on top of all of my commitments this week (Monday: volunteering with adults with disabilities and debating, Tuesday: peer support lunch and writing group, Wednesday: tour guiding and chemistry competition, Thursday: SUBJECT SELECTION, Friday: youth group, Saturday: work, Sunday: kids program at church and Auslan group.)
4. To spend 20 minutes each day on my Auslan practice.
5. To catch up on forensics and the notes that I have missed.
What books are you looking to get through? :)
You're going to the UOM open day??
Maybe I'll see you there!
Yeah!! Fingers crossed hey!- I have no idea what you look like but if you recognise me feel free to come say hi!
Anyone else been lacking motivation the past couple of weeks?Aww, it sucks the you have been sick for the past couple of week, I hope that you are starting to get better and please take it easy. Better to take care of your health first!
Thanks guys! <3 This weekend did wonders for my mood. I had the best time, especially taking my little friends to the farm!
Over the weekend I was also given my results for my two Religion and Society assessments. Two A* marks!! :) ;D
Today is the first day of the school holidays for me
i dont like this privellegeI sat outside in the sunshine with some friends and we ate a whole tub of icecream with sporks. Was a great time! How was been cooped up in a classroom? :P
yay for holidays! i’ve still got tomorrow :'(I'm talking about how mandatory reporting should extend to breaking the seal of confessional in Catholic churches. It's a little controversial at a Catholic school but something I can definitely get passionate about!
what topic are you doing for your oral?
I sat outside in the sunshine with some friends and we ate a whole tub of icecream with sporks. Was a great time! How was been cooped up in a classroom? :Pwow you dont need to flex like this :P
seems really interesting!! i’d love to read it after you’ve finishedI'll probably post it on here to get some feedback! ;D But would definitely love for you to read it.
I sat outside in the sunshine with some friends and we ate a whole tub of icecream with sporks. Was a great time! How was been cooped up in a classroom? :P
Oh my goodness, I have had the best week. I've been fairly productive, and also been super social and done all the things I wanted to do.Any advice for being productive?
Any advice for being productive?Why not try an internet ban? Whenever I need to do homework, I just tell myself I'm going to, set a timer for an hour and don't let myself get distracted. I also have a planner where I can write in what I'm going to do for each hour of the day- that always helps.
I don't remember BioBasics being around when I did VCE, is it a practice question thing?Yeah, our school buys us a book of questions for each unit. They have 10-15 chapters and each chapter has 30-50 questions, that we have to do each week. Mostly it's good revision, but there are some really obscure questions too.
Cue that time of the holidays when you start to freak out about how much you still have to do. I've done heaps of biology work, but still feel like there is way more to do. I've written a rough draft of my English oral so I'm counting that as finished for now. I also have a maths test in the first week back so there is heaps of work that I've procrastinated as well as study to do...Is it mean if I say join the club........
Hey guys,
So I opened my maths books yesterday, and although I had no idea what I was doing last term, I actually understand things better now. I have a test on Wednesday so I'm glad things are starting to make sense. I really should have started earlier but y'know- it's too late to change that this time.
I'm also super happy to say that I went to two AtarNotes lectures today. Although I never thought I could, I made it through (almost) the whole day (I missed the last half of the bio lecture :() and really enjoyed it. It took me 45 minutes to talk myself into walking in, and I almost bailed just about every time we got a break, but I learnt a lot and enjoyed myself. It was great to meet Owlbird83 and Erutepa, and hopefully this won't be the last time I get to meet AN people irl. Also, free pizza was great!
Even though I was feeling super drained this afternoon, I decided to go to a party. Regret. I enjoyed the first little bit, but it was really loud and overwhelming. I ended up crying in this tiny room with one of my friends getting me water and a blanket. (I wore the most skimpy dress imaginable and totally regretted it as we were outside all night and I was FREEZING!) Crying all my makeup off was super embarrasing, but not too many people saw me. Although, a couple of people tried to give me a hug while I was shaking and hyperventilating, and I was just thinking "Now, really?!", but I guess they thought they were being helpful even though I didn't know them super well. Common sense(ish) piece of advice for the day: If someone is having a panic attack and feels like they can't breathe, hugging them will probably make them feel worse, especially if you squash their lungs...
On an unrelated note, I still have heaps of work to do before Monday, but I feel like it's a manageable amount. There is more biology stuff I would like to get done, but the test isn't until week three so I'm going to focus on maths at the minute. For bio, I'm going to try some of the new study techniques I learnt today.
I should be at a lecture tomorrow afternoon, but I'm meant to be volunteering in the morning so I might not feel up to it. Let me know if you're going to be around and we can catch up! ;D
I hope you have a good start to the new term! ;DThanks owlbird! <3 Hopefully we'll see each other again soon.
Really glad you enjoyed the lectures! We'll have a meet-up at the end of the year - should be awesome. :)Sounds amazing!
I hope that you get one of your exams moved, three in one day is too much!Yeah, one with calculator and notes and one without. I actually used to much prefer the technology free exam, but now that I discovered my love of application questions, I think that I'll actually enjoy having my cas.
Also, how come you have 2 maths exams? Is one with a calculator and the other without?
What's the go with year level leader? What does that involve? :)Being the year level leader means that you meet with the school captains and other year level leaders to plan some whole school activities across the year which includes Founder's Day and R U OK day at our school. You also run some events just for your year level. In the past we've had mindfulness/meditation stuff, a volleyball competition and trivia. A lot of the application emphasised being supportive of others and just generally being a positive presence at school. ;D
Super quick update guys: I just got my marks back for my English oral presentation and my bio assessment task. Both A*!! ;D Now I'm just waiting on my results for a history assignment and my biology AoS2 test. At least they're both done so there's no more stressing about them!That's amazing, Laura! I'm really happy for you!
That's amazing, Laura! I'm really happy for you!Thank you! It really, really does! ;D
Doesn't it feel great to get things off your chest?
;D
Super quick update guys: I just got my marks back for my English oral presentation and my bio assessment task. Both A*!! ;D Now I'm just waiting on my results for a history assignment and my biology AoS2 test. At least they're both done so there's no more stressing about them!
Super quick update guys: I just got my marks back for my English oral presentation and my bio assessment task. Both A*!! ;D Now I'm just waiting on my results for a history assignment and my biology AoS2 test. At least they're both done so there's no more stressing about them!
Congratulations that's awesome! Have you got anymore assignments or is it just down to exams now?Thanks Geo! I still have a biology assignment, which involves surveying people and looking at an ethical issue. And I still have to do an essay for 1/2 R&S before the exam. I also have to conduct an experiment for my forensics class. Once those are done, I'll just be preparing for exams.
YOU CAN DO THIS LAURA WE ALL BELIEVE IN YOU!!Thanks khad! <3
4. RELIGION: Finish "Go Back to Where You Came From".i think it shows how tired i am cuz i really thought it was some weird agenda you had going on then realised oof (i need more sleep). also so much religion work omg. is religion a big workload for you in general??
i think it shows how tired i am cuz i really thought it was some weird agenda you had going on then realised oof (i need more sleep). also so much religion work omg. is religion a big workload for you in general??Not normally, except our teacher is completely whack. We're meant to be writing an 1000 word essay about refugees on Wednesday so all the things on that list are just things I need to do as homework because she told us to, or things I actually need to do, to prepare for the essay.
1. DEBATING: Meet with my junior debaters at the local library and go over their speeches with them.
2. BIO: Finish my biology assignment. I only have two discussion questions to go.
4. BIO: Make U2 AoS1 Summary Notes (and turn them into a quizlet)
3. HISTORY: Make a WW2 timeline on my wall. (I also added on Rights and Freedoms & Migration, so I've made all the history timelines I needed to.)
5. RELIGION: Finish "Go Back to Where You Came From".
6. RELIGION: Annotate six articles.
7. RELIGION: Finish questions about Catholic Social Teaching
8. RELIGION: Write an essay plan.
9. FORENSICS: Write an introduction to my report.
10. ENGLISH: Fully annotate an article. (our homework :-\)
1. ENGLISH: Finish a practice argument analysis.
2. BIO: Make U2 AoS1 Summary Notes (and turn them into a quizlet)
3. MATHS: Finish off the Functions and Relations work. Make a list of all of the questions I got wrong.
4. FORENSICS: Write the discussion for my report.
5. RELIGION: Annotate six articles.
6. RELIGION: Finish questions about Catholic Social Teaching
7. RELIGION: Write an essay plan.
8. RELIGION: Find quotes from Chasing Asylum
How'd the assessment packed week go, laura?Surprisingly, alright. I had all but one assessment (a prac report due Friday night) out of the way by 11:00 on Thursday morning and so I was a lot calmer after that. I haven't gotten any marks back yet so I don't know for sure.
Tea and sleep cure everything, right?)
I am just really looking forward to all the things I can do when my exams are over!! ;DSame, my last exams on Friday, then step - up begins.
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Congrats on finishing Yr 10 :)Super excited; and also a little nervous. I've found that Chem and Methods headstart have been quite intimidating.
Excited for Yr 11?
Woop woop! Congrats! ;DI ended up picking literature, methods, specialist, chemistry and food tech. (As well as biology 3/4.)
What subjects did you choose for next year?
Congrats on finishing Year 10! What subject are you most excited for for next year?I think that meeting people who like similar things to me in my classes will be really great! None of my friends and in my classes, but I'm looking forward to getting to know new people. ;D
Biology
WHYYYYYY so many obscure questions involving applying random bits of knowledge that we never really covered properly in class? There were just three questions that weren't super relevant to anything we'd done, but most of the rest was fairly straightforward.
Moving on from that, I wanted to switch tones a little bit. As I approach my sixteenth birthday, I've been reflecting on how much has changed for me this year and even over the past couple of years. I still remember what it was like when I was eleven and in year seven (by far the youngest in my class) and probably the loneliest too. Skipping a grade in the middle of a year to join a class of kids much older than you was truly awful. And an awful idea. Thanks shit-show of a school that was being run by people with no idea about how the real world works. Appreciate it! I struggled a lot with making friends and ended up in the wrong crowd. I was hanging out with people who were nice enough, but had a lot going on in their own lives. As I was so much younger, I became their pet project. When they found out I was struggling with my mental health, it became their sole obsession to "fix" me.
Escaping that toxic friendship in year eight, I grew particularly close to a certain guy. It was wonderful to feel wanted and loved, but when I felt like he knew too much about me, and like he was beginning to see all of me, not just the bits I liked, I quickly pushed him away again. Lonely again, my anxiety and eating issues spiralled out of control.
Abuse from a teacher coupled with this lead to the worst time in my life. A psychotic break where my experience with reality was totally out of touch with the real world. I was so scared and scared of the world. I felt utterly alone.
Flashing forward to now, I look at how much has changed. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I'm finally happy with my life. I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm content and comfortable with who I am. I can honestly say that I like myself. That doesn't mean that bad days don't occasionally creep up on me, but that even if I'm having a bad day or a bad week, I know how to handle it.
I had a panic attack this morning. I was dizzy and hyperventilating. I was terrified and I felt so alone and out of control. But then a friend came and found me. We sat together in silence for most of an hour. Patiently waiting for the beast to subside. And it did. Because it always does. And even in the momentary darkness, I was not alone. And I have never been alone.
Thinking about my hallucinations, eating disorder and the last couple of years of my life always used to send a rush of unpleasant feelings, but although I'm sad for the little girl I was, I am so, so happy with who I am and where I am now. I am so thankful for the people I have found. And even though my experiences were awful, I don't think I would change any of it. (Perhaps the way I handled things but not the experiences themselves.) Because without them I wouldn't be me. And without them, I would not have so many of the good things I do.
Tomorrow I'll be sixteen, and I'll wake up so incredibly grateful for the life I have! If you follow my journal and have made it the whole way through this ramble of a reflection, I truly thank you for letting me share a bit of myself tonight.
when I felt like he knew too much about me, and like he was beginning to see all of me, not just the bits I liked, I quickly pushed him away again
One week until school starts back. I am really regretting my subject choices, but I've bought the textbooks and it's way too late to change now. Specialist is going to be the death of me. Surprisingly, once I just knuckled down and did some homework, I found that methods wasn't that bad.What subjects are you regretting choosing other than spesh? If it's that bad you could always change those subjects for other subjects before Unit 2.
What subjects are you regretting choosing other than spesh? If it's that bad you could always change those subjects for other subjects before Unit 2.It's really just spesh. I haven't touched the work so far, but my class is so tiny and I think I'm going to find it really suffocating. I have the same teacher for methods and spesh, and although I quite like her, eight hours a week with her is TOO MUCH. It would be too much no matter which teacher. At least I have a friend in my class. She's great and I think we'll have a lot of fun. Perhaps even too much fun, given what we're like when we're together. I didn't even want to be doing methods, so I have no idea why I signed up for two maths.
I didn't even want to be doing methods, so I have no idea why I signed up for two maths.I'm sure it was because you're more than capable of doing two maths :)
Literature is a class of 30, while there are English classes of 11, so it means that having class discussion is really difficult, but a whole bunch of people are intending to drop it, so that might make things better.It's the same with my Lit class. We have a lot of people and a lot of them are really noisy. Not sure how many will drop it mid-year though tbh.
As the front row is completely empty, I really hate it because I'm effectively sitting in the front alone.Just out of curiosity, do you concentrate more when sitting at the front or back? I personally prefer the frontish.
I got a teacher I've never had before for chem and she seems good, but she's very strict and quite scary, so I just feel stressed the whole time. She yelled at my friend in orientation about having a necklace on. She told me off for borrowing whiteout from someone while we were quietly working because I wasn't quiet enough about it.In my chem class, there a bunch of boys that talk and annoy the life out of my teacher. Like, she's trying to have some of them drop it if they don't put effort in it. Tbh, my chem class is too big for my liking. And the pace that we're moving at is soooo fast. In our Chem elective in Yr 10, we spent a whole term on one chapter. In headstart, we finished one chapter in one week. Which textbook do you use for Chem?
Having no friends in so many classes will hopefully motivate me to work harder.Less distractions, I'm assuming?
Just out of curiosity, do you concentrate more when sitting at the front or back? I personally prefer the frontish.I probably concentrate better if I'm sitting near the front. But it just felt so weird to sit in the front alone. I'm definitely a lot more comfortable in the back though, and a lot happier to put my hand up and answer questions if it feels like less people are looking. Why do you like the front? ;D
And the pace that we're moving at is soooo fast. In our Chem elective in Yr 10, we spent a whole term on one chapter. In headstart, we finished one chapter in one week. Which textbook do you use for Chem?We did the same. The pace is insane. We did four subchapters in a single lesson and then the homework was to do all of the questions plus watch all of the Edrolo relating to it. I think I'll struggle to keep on top of the chem (and methods) pace, so that's something to be mindful of. We use Heinemann by the way. What about you?
Less distractions, I'm assuming?That's what I'm hoping.
How long do you're periods go for?Each period is an hour. And no, no doubles. In Year 10 I had double politics in semester 1 (but with lunch in the middle) and then the same "double" but English in semester 2. It was actually really good for english, but awful for politics. It would be good to have a double for food tech, but I can't imagine having double methods or spesh, especially if I had another maths on the same day.
Also, you don't seem to have a lot of doubles.
What's that wellbeing class?
Why do you like the front? ;DEven though I'm not that short, I'm not that tall either so tall peeps make it hard to see stuff on the board. I feel like seeing people in front of me distracts me as well.
I think I'll struggle to keep on top of the chem (and methods) paceYup
We use Heinemann by the way. What about you?Jacaranda. Is Heinemann good?
Each period is an hour. And no, no doubles. In Year 10 I had double politics in semester 1 (but with lunch in the middle) and then the same "double" but English in semester 2. It was actually really good for english, but awful for politics. It would be good to have a double for food tech, but I can't imagine having double methods or spesh, especially if I had another maths on the same day.Our periods are 50 mins with 6 periods a day and homeroom at the start of the day until like 8:50. I have a lot of doubles now that I'm in Yr 11 (so like p1+2 will be lit, p3+4 religion and society, p5 would be methods, p6 would be chem etc, etc).
Apparently, once you get to Year 11, wellbeing and religion are basically just study periods.Eh, study periods are almost always well appreciated ;D
That means that I have to sit alone. I got there late on the first day and ended up sitting in the row second from the front all by myself because there were no free seats in the back two rows. As the front row is completely empty, I really hate it because I'm effectively sitting in the front alone. We'll be in a new classroom this year, so I'll just get there early and sit in the seat I want. Then at least if I'm alone, I won't be alone in the front.
How are you finding that 10 day timetable?Thanks Jimmmy! We've always had a 10 day timetable at school and I quite like it, because when you have things that happen on certain days at certain times, you don't always miss the same class. We moved to a five period system (from four) last year, and I still don't particularly like it. I'd much prefer we switched back, but I guess I'm used to it now. It feels like there's never enough time to do homework.
I'm also making some healthy changes. I'm working towards going vegan and zero waste for the environment and my health. At the minute, I'm slowly phasing out single-use things and trying to significantly reduce the waste I produce. I'm also working on cooking more vegan food, although I am already vegetarian.
I'm also going sugar-free (or at least obvious sugar, like chocolate and cakes, free), starting tomorrow!
Please wish me luck! ;D
Wishing you luck!Thanks Bri! I'm already close to vegan and zero waste, so I'm just trying to take a couple more steps to get closer. I started DIYing toiletries like toothpaste, deoderant, body lotion ect. a couple of weeks ago, and I'm definitely mindful of the plastic and packaging that food comes in, but I do find it hard. I find it easy to avoid gladwrap and foil, but things that are almost only ever sold in packages mean that my family and I inevitably accrue some waste.
Piece of advice - I'm relatively close to zero waste (no glad wrap or foil use for more than 6 months, only plastic I get in toiletries is toothpaste, no plastic when grabbing produce etc.) - and as you might remember I'm vegan - I do NOT recommend you go 100% zero waste and vegan at the same time. In particular, if you're avoiding all food packaging and doing things like making plant based milks yourself what you make will not be fortified with b12 and you will need to supplement it. I don't think this is an argument against veganism since often the b12 content of animal products is artificially increased but it is something you should be aware of. You might have already known this but I think it's worth emphasising anyway.
I absolutely love that you're trying to change things for your sake and the environments sake; please do your best to do this in a way that's sustainable for you. Aiming for progress > aiming for perfection.
Thanks Bri! I'm already close to vegan and zero waste, so I'm just trying to take a couple more steps to get closer. I started DIYing toiletries like toothpaste, deoderant, body lotion ect. a couple of weeks ago, and I'm definitely mindful of the plastic and packaging that food comes in, but I do find it hard. I find it easy to avoid gladwrap and foil, but things that are almost only ever sold in packages mean that my family and I inevitably accrue some waste.
Planning to DIY some plant milk this weekend! But yeah, the B12 will be a thing to watch.
How do you find/use zero waste stationary, particularly pens? I HATE grey lead pencils, but I don't mind coloured pencils and crayons, so I'm happy enough in that department. I also currently use a lot of whiteout, but I'm trying to be more mindful of that as well!
Thanks Bri! I'm already close to vegan and zero waste, so I'm just trying to take a couple more steps to get closer. I started DIYing toiletries like toothpaste, deoderant, body lotion ect. a couple of weeks ago, and I'm definitely mindful of the plastic and packaging that food comes in, but I do find it hard. I find it easy to avoid gladwrap and foil, but things that are almost only ever sold in packages mean that my family and I inevitably accrue some waste.
Planning to DIY some plant milk this weekend! But yeah, the B12 will be a thing to watch.
How do you find/use zero waste stationary, particularly pens? I HATE grey lead pencils, but I don't mind coloured pencils and crayons, so I'm happy enough in that department. I also currently use a lot of whiteout, but I'm trying to be more mindful of that as well!
Hiya Snow Leopard; thanks for the bump! ;DBtw I 100% think this is the right approach to take rather than trying to upheave everything all at once. The most eco-friendly product is making use of what you already have :)
Oh my goodness this week is just full of assessments, and they're all on Thursday. I have a methods test, a spesh test, a chem test and a food tech essay. Then on Friday, I have another methods test and a spesh test on the following Monday. I also have a chemistry research investigation that's due soon. For biology we're working on the pracs that we're going to use when we do our first sac, so it just feels like every class is an assessment. Literature's still pretty chill at least.grades and other boring thingsI'm just focusing on not buying more things that create waste.
Congrats!!Thanks Bri for your kind and reassuring words, as always. The passion that you have for biology really helped me get excited about the subject when I first started 1/2 and was posting millions of questions on the forums. Thanks for all of your help and support over the past two years! ;D
Thanks Bri for your kind and reassuring words, as always. The passion that you have for biology really helped me get excited about the subject when I first started 1/2 and was posting millions of questions on the forums. Thanks for all of your help and support over the past two years! ;D
I can't believe it's only been two weeks since my last exam. I feel like a totally different person; I can't remember the last time I was so relaxed. It's AMAZING. It doesn't feel totally over because of the extremely long wait for results (I know it's not thaaat long but it feels like an eternity at the moment!).
And just like that it's over! All the waiting and anticipation for this. I'll start with the ATAR (the only thing I was really happy with): 97.75. I acheived my goal to get a 97 so I'm thrilled. But I wasn't so happy with my scores.
Spec: 35
Methods: 37
Lit: 38
Chem: 40
(And I got a 4.5 increment from my uni subject.)
I'm a bit stunned it's all over. Honestly, the only score that exceeded my expectations was spec- I really thought I was going to get 28. All the others were a bit lower than I'd hoped but at least it's finally over and I can definitely say I gave it everything I could.
Thank you all for the encouragement and support. The AN forums are such a wonderful place with so many lovely supportive people. I've really enjoyed all the banter, laughs and games (and I am very appreciative of all of the help). I am so grateful for all of you! ✌️
And just like that it's over! All the waiting and anticipation for this. I'll start with the ATAR (the only thing I was really happy with): 97.75. I acheived my goal to get a 97 so I'm thrilled. But I wasn't so happy with my scores.
Spec: 35
Methods: 37
Lit: 38
Chem: 40
(And I got a 4.5 increment from my uni subject.)
I'm a bit stunned it's all over. Honestly, the only score that exceeded my expectations was spec- I really thought I was going to get 28. All the others were a bit lower than I'd hoped but at least it's finally over and I can definitely say I gave it everything I could.
Thank you all for the encouragement and support. The AN forums are such a wonderful place with so many lovely supportive people. I've really enjoyed all the banter, laughs and games (and I am very appreciative of all of the help). I am so grateful for all of you! ✌️