And here are the last few!
Thesis: The purpose of storytelling is to ignite recognition within readers towards experiences and emotions they gain an insight to through texts, namely Tim Winton’s memoir, ‘The Boy Behind The Curtain’. This sense of recognition acts as a guide for human actions that result in a meditation on life’s fragility, spirituality and how the natural world underlines these notions.
bellab02's Feedback
bellab02's Feedback
Hey, bellab02!
The thesis is coming together nicely and addresses the key concept of storytelling from the module really well. I would perhaps just recommend shuffling the different elements of it around so that you can keep that initial statement more conceptual and then you can elaborate and introduce your text afterwards. It'd also try and insert a part of the statement somewhere in the first sentence. Something like this would work: The purpose of storytelling is to ignite recognition within readers and unite them with common experiences. towards experiences and emotions they gain an insight to through texts, namely Tim Winton’s memoir, ‘The Boy Behind The Curtain’. In turn, they may gain insight into human emotions and become aware of their humanity.This In Tim Winton's 'The Boy Behind The Curtain', this sense of recognition acts as a guide for human actions that results in a meditation on life’s fragility, spirituality and how the natural world underlines these notions. Your thesis has all the right parts in it though so well done! Hope this helps!
Storytelling allows us to share our individual human experiences through textual mediums so that we are able to create collective human experiences. This is especially shown in Arthur Miller's "The Crucible" where various human experiences result due to the 'red scare' and 'McCarthyism'.
Be brutally honest (to a band 5 level) ...Thanks in advance!
akjen's Feedback
Hey, akjen!
The thesis you've written up is on the right track! I like where it's heading and you definitely hit the nail with the storytelling aspect. I think having more clarity would elevate it further and to ensure you have detail in your answer. I would also avoid diving straight into context with the elaboration sentence and keep it human experience-driven. Something like this might be a way to rework it: Storytelling allows us to share our individual human experiences through textual mediums so that we are able to create (or share?) collective human experiences. This (purpose? What is "this" referring to exactly?) is especially shown in Arthur Miller's "The Crucible" where various human experiences seem to "tear apart", as opposed to unite, in order for audiences to be commonly enlightened on human flaws. result due to the 'red scare' and 'McCarthyism.' This gears the response more towards the question and show your judgement in a stronger fashion. Otherwise, it's heading in the right direction and creates a great platform for an interesting essay discussion. Hope that helps!
Thesis: The telling and receiving of stories provides a glimpse into the voices not heard in history, and allows us to be present in our human experience as well as drawing us into the experiences of others.
Topic: Anthony Doerr’s postmodern novel All the Light We Cannot See challenges the way we receive stories and by doing so he invites the petit-recits of the silenced individuals and groups, igniting new ideas of the experiences of the past.
dani01's Feedback
Hey, dani01!
Fantastic thesis and topic sentence! Both have all the right elements there and set a nice precursor to your essay's discussion on the text's representation of human experiences. I think shuffling a few bits of the thesis around might make it more logical and for the topic sentence for the body paragraph, I would probably only suggest removing the text and author since you'll presumably introduce it in full in the introduction. These would be my recommended revisions.
The telling and receiving of stories provides a glimpse into the voices not heard (maybe "buried" would be a good word choice here?) in history, and allows us to be present in our human experience as well as drawing us into the experiences of others and allows us to allow us to be present in our human experience as well as.
Anthony Doerr’s postmodern novel All the Light We Cannot SeeTexts may challenge the way we receive stories and by doing so, he invites the petit-recits of the silenced individuals and groups, igniting new ideas of the experiences of the past.
Well done on your responses and hope this helps!
Thank you, all, for taking initiative and giving great attempts for this segment of the lecture. It has been an absolute pleasure helping each and everyone one of you out and I hope you gained something out of this
All the best with your English exams and be sure to let us know how you go
Angelina