Login

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

March 29, 2024, 01:02:19 am

Author Topic: Poet's Well-being Journal  (Read 71306 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

w0lfqu33n89

  • Trendsetter
  • **
  • Posts: 168
  • This is my text until I find another poetic quote
  • Respect: +151
Re: Poet's Well-being Journal
« Reply #195 on: March 05, 2021, 02:22:37 pm »
+4
Beyond proud of you <3 always will be xx

turinturambar

  • Forum Obsessive
  • ***
  • Posts: 246
  • TÚRIN TURAMBAR DAGNIR GLAURUNGA
  • Respect: +184
Re: Poet's Well-being Journal
« Reply #196 on: March 05, 2021, 10:21:17 pm »
+7
I'm a big fan of the idea that, to be meaningful, achievements only have to be meaningful to you.  Comparing with others, or for that matter with some ideal version of you, can sometimes be helpful in deciding things to try next - but it can also overshadow the things that you actually have achieved.  Whether it's overcoming your fears, or trying something new, or getting better at something you already do, or just living life: It doesn't matter what others think, but that it's meaningful to you.

Your achievements do sound meaningful to me.  So well done :)  But more importantly, it sounds like they are meaningful to you, and that's great.

Quote
Also, tomorrow is 2 years with Erutepa. We met thanks to this forum, and he's the best thing that's ever happened to me. We're going out for a movie and dinner on Saturday to celebrate.

Congratulations.  Enjoy :)  I wish you both all the best.
“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” – Neil Gaiman

Poet

  • MOTM: JUN 18
  • Part of the furniture
  • *****
  • Posts: 1612
  • Love. ~she/they
  • Respect: +2790
Re: Poet's Well-being Journal
« Reply #197 on: June 13, 2021, 07:54:27 pm »
+17
Hey guys.

I have some news.

So, I've been chronically ill for a while now. 3, almost 4 years? Anyway. It's pain that I've been dealing with for a long time. Dismissal from doctors. Denial. Anger and frustration, depression and contempt that I've had for myself, because there have been so many times where this hurt has refused to let me do what I want to.

I've felt useless for a long, long while. This thing has shattered my self-confidence, and my motivation. My faith in the medical professionals meant to help me.

But guess what?

I got a diagnosis.

Finally. After all this time, it turns out I have a gastrointestinal bacterial infection. It is called H. Pylori, and in serious cases (like mine) it causes ulcers in the stomach and duodenum, and can also damage the upper intestines.
It's not "just anxiety". It's not anaemia. It's not anything I've done wrong. It just is.

It's so validating to me now to know that I wasn't just imagining things for years. There's a reason I spend so many nights writhing in pain, vomiting, exhausted. A reason I have "untreatable" iron anaemia. A reason for the vertigo. A reason for the uncontrollable shaking.
I've had bleeding wounds in my gut for years. Something the doctors somehow never noticed. But I'm finally being seen. And I've started treatment! 2 weeks of antibiotics that make my brain foggy and my body hurt.

Something that a lot of people don't recognise is the prejudice against people with mental health conditions in the medical system. I was dismissed so many times; because I'm a young woman, sure - but also because when a doctor looks at my record, all they see is the physical manifestation of anxiety.
I'm genuinely lucky that it didn't get worse. And I'm happy for that. But I want to bring attention to the fact that, by dismissing the ill physical health of someone with ill mental health, you're not only risking their wellbeing in both senses - you're also removing the choices a normal person would be given without hesitation.

Anyway.
I'm looking forward to seeing myself pain-free for the first time in my adult life. I'm excited to see where I will go. How liberated I will feel.
For the first time, I know an end is coming. And it's one of the best feelings I've ever known.
Thoughts are only thoughts.
They are not you. You do belong to yourself,
even when your thoughts don't.

Dealing with Year 12 - Put Your Mental Health at the Forefront
A Little Guide to Healthy Eating

sweetiepi

  • National Moderator
  • ATAR Notes Legend
  • *****
  • Posts: 4767
  • "A Bit of Chaos" (she/they)
  • Respect: +3589
Re: Poet's Well-being Journal
« Reply #198 on: June 13, 2021, 08:52:20 pm »
+9
Hey guys.

I have some news.

So, I've been chronically ill for a while now. 3, almost 4 years? Anyway. It's pain that I've been dealing with for a long time. Dismissal from doctors. Denial. Anger and frustration, depression and contempt that I've had for myself, because there have been so many times where this hurt has refused to let me do what I want to.

I've felt useless for a long, long while. This thing has shattered my self-confidence, and my motivation. My faith in the medical professionals meant to help me.

But guess what?

I got a diagnosis.

Finally. After all this time, it turns out I have a gastrointestinal bacterial infection. It is called H. Pylori, and in serious cases (like mine) it causes ulcers in the stomach and duodenum, and can also damage the upper intestines.
It's not "just anxiety". It's not anaemia. It's not anything I've done wrong. It just is.

It's so validating to me now to know that I wasn't just imagining things for years. There's a reason I spend so many nights writhing in pain, vomiting, exhausted. A reason I have "untreatable" iron anaemia. A reason for the vertigo. A reason for the uncontrollable shaking.
I've had bleeding wounds in my gut for years. Something the doctors somehow never noticed. But I'm finally being seen. And I've started treatment! 2 weeks of antibiotics that make my brain foggy and my body hurt.

Something that a lot of people don't recognise is the prejudice against people with mental health conditions in the medical system. I was dismissed so many times; because I'm a young woman, sure - but also because when a doctor looks at my record, all they see is the physical manifestation of anxiety.
I'm genuinely lucky that it didn't get worse. And I'm happy for that. But I want to bring attention to the fact that, by dismissing the ill physical health of someone with ill mental health, you're not only risking their wellbeing in both senses - you're also removing the choices a normal person would be given without hesitation.

Anyway.
I'm looking forward to seeing myself pain-free for the first time in my adult life. I'm excited to see where I will go. How liberated I will feel.
For the first time, I know an end is coming. And it's one of the best feelings I've ever known.
💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
2017-2019: Bachelor of Pharmaceutical Science (Formulation Science)
2020: Bachelor of Pharmaceutical Science (Honours) Read my uni journey here!

AngelWings

  • Victorian Moderator
  • ATAR Notes Superstar
  • *****
  • Posts: 2456
  • "Angel wings, please guide me..."
  • Respect: +1425
Re: Poet's Well-being Journal
« Reply #199 on: June 14, 2021, 09:22:52 am »
+8
Hey guys.

I have some news.

So, I've been chronically ill for a while now. 3, almost 4 years? Anyway. It's pain that I've been dealing with for a long time. Dismissal from doctors. Denial. Anger and frustration, depression and contempt that I've had for myself, because there have been so many times where this hurt has refused to let me do what I want to.

I've felt useless for a long, long while. This thing has shattered my self-confidence, and my motivation. My faith in the medical professionals meant to help me.

But guess what?

I got a diagnosis.

Finally. After all this time, it turns out I have a gastrointestinal bacterial infection. It is called H. Pylori, and in serious cases (like mine) it causes ulcers in the stomach and duodenum, and can also damage the upper intestines.
It's not "just anxiety". It's not anaemia. It's not anything I've done wrong. It just is.

It's so validating to me now to know that I wasn't just imagining things for years. There's a reason I spend so many nights writhing in pain, vomiting, exhausted. A reason I have "untreatable" iron anaemia. A reason for the vertigo. A reason for the uncontrollable shaking.
I've had bleeding wounds in my gut for years. Something the doctors somehow never noticed. But I'm finally being seen. And I've started treatment! 2 weeks of antibiotics that make my brain foggy and my body hurt.

Something that a lot of people don't recognise is the prejudice against people with mental health conditions in the medical system. I was dismissed so many times; because I'm a young woman, sure - but also because when a doctor looks at my record, all they see is the physical manifestation of anxiety.
I'm genuinely lucky that it didn't get worse. And I'm happy for that. But I want to bring attention to the fact that, by dismissing the ill physical health of someone with ill mental health, you're not only risking their wellbeing in both senses - you're also removing the choices a normal person would be given without hesitation.

Anyway.
I'm looking forward to seeing myself pain-free for the first time in my adult life. I'm excited to see where I will go. How liberated I will feel.
For the first time, I know an end is coming. And it's one of the best feelings I've ever known.
It’s amazing you finally got a proper diagnosis, Poet! 💙 Must be a massive relief. (Maybe not so much now with the antibiotics but once the course is over, hopefully it’ll be much happier days.)

Fun fact
Fun fact: There’s a bit of a gross and unethical story in H. pylori’s history. Two Perth scientists finally showed that its infection is a potential cause of stomach ulcers, where one drank a culture of the H. pylori and got very ill to prove it. They got a Nobel Prize for it, so I guess it was worth it?
VCE: Psych | Eng Lang | LOTE | Methods | Further | Chem                 
Uni: Bachelor of Science (Hons) - genetics
Current: working (sporadically on AN)
VTAC Info Thread

Poet

  • MOTM: JUN 18
  • Part of the furniture
  • *****
  • Posts: 1612
  • Love. ~she/they
  • Respect: +2790
Re: Poet's Well-being Journal
« Reply #200 on: June 14, 2021, 12:21:07 pm »
+6
It’s amazing you finally got a proper diagnosis, Poet! 💙 Must be a massive relief. (Maybe not so much now with the antibiotics but once the course is over, hopefully it’ll be much happier days.)

Fun fact
Fun fact: There’s a bit of a gross and unethical story in H. pylori’s history. Two Perth scientists finally showed that its infection is a potential cause of stomach ulcers, where one drank a culture of the H. pylori and got very ill to prove it. They got a Nobel Prize for it, so I guess it was worth it?
Thank you!! Right now it doesn't feel too good, but I know that when I finish this course I'll be so much better. It's hard to type at the moment because I'm shaking a lot. My body is still fighting.

I have heard that before! Honestly, the insanity of self-inflicted symptoms like the ones I've had is almost funny. But in the end, it brought together some really useful research that ultimately is the reason I can now move on with life. So, props to the crazy scientists!

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
🐸💙💙💙
Thoughts are only thoughts.
They are not you. You do belong to yourself,
even when your thoughts don't.

Dealing with Year 12 - Put Your Mental Health at the Forefront
A Little Guide to Healthy Eating

turinturambar

  • Forum Obsessive
  • ***
  • Posts: 246
  • TÚRIN TURAMBAR DAGNIR GLAURUNGA
  • Respect: +184
Re: Poet's Well-being Journal
« Reply #201 on: June 14, 2021, 06:45:34 pm »
+5
Anyway.
I'm looking forward to seeing myself pain-free for the first time in my adult life. I'm excited to see where I will go. How liberated I will feel.
For the first time, I know an end is coming. And it's one of the best feelings I've ever known.

That's great news, Poet!  Hope that things go really well for you post-treatment.
“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” – Neil Gaiman

Poet

  • MOTM: JUN 18
  • Part of the furniture
  • *****
  • Posts: 1612
  • Love. ~she/they
  • Respect: +2790
Re: Poet's Well-being Journal
« Reply #202 on: July 15, 2021, 05:01:59 pm »
+10
Good evening, my loves. I hope all is well.

Another update is in order, I think.
It just hit me that I've been writing here for 3 and a half years(?!?!?!???!) Bruh. I cringe so hard at some of the stuff earlier in this thread. But then again, it documents my growth in its purest form - so I guess it's a good thing. It does make me wonder WHY some of y'all decided to become my best friends. Am I not annoying to you??

So, what's new?

Last night I completed my first work shift in over one and a half years. It was a night shift from 11pm-4am working in a bakery prepping and packing orders for Victorian panic bread buyers. Yup. People panic buy bread. Not sure why. How much space do they have in their freezers??? But it made the night busy and threw me into the deep end, which is where I work best. Initially I was afraid that I would panic and become unable to function - I didn't have any initial training, and got lost at least twice trying to find extra bags. But when the job is physical and fairly intuitive, I can get into it easily and the hours go by like minutes. I think the hardest thing was slogging through the last hour which consisted of cleaning and stacking shelves with the breads and pastries I had baked earlier in the night for packing and delivery. And that's only because my feet were sore from standing for 5 hours!

My next shift in is to be on Monday from 7pm-10pm working with seafood. I'm less excited as it'll be cold and smell not nearly as nice as the bakery, but it's more experience for me to broaden my scope of knowledge again.

I hated school as a kinaesthetic learner. I also hated office work. But this? This is my jam. This is good. I can touch things and make money. Printing labels and stacking trays especially are my faves. Go team! Label machine go BRRR

Anyway. I'm tired, but nowhere near as badly as I would have been 6 weeks ago. I've thrown up exactly once this month, and that was from food poisoning so it doesn't count. The downside to increased energy is the relative anxiety symptoms - but I also have increased awareness to mitigate those effects. So yeah. I have a real, actual, bonafide job now. I feel so much better.
And I'm off my meds too haha don't tell my mom hahah

TL;DR - Post-treatment has only gone up. Catch you later, pals <3
Thoughts are only thoughts.
They are not you. You do belong to yourself,
even when your thoughts don't.

Dealing with Year 12 - Put Your Mental Health at the Forefront
A Little Guide to Healthy Eating

The Cat In The Hat

  • MOTM: NOV 20
  • Forum Leader
  • ****
  • Posts: 991
  • Do all to the glory of God. - 1 Corinthians 10:31
  • Respect: +344
Re: Poet's Well-being Journal
« Reply #203 on: July 15, 2021, 06:11:38 pm »
+3
Good evening, my loves. I hope all is well.

Another update is in order, I think.
It just hit me that I've been writing here for 3 and a half years(?!?!?!???!) Bruh. I cringe so hard at some of the stuff earlier in this thread. But then again, it documents my growth in its purest form - so I guess it's a good thing. It does make me wonder WHY some of y'all decided to become my best friends. Am I not annoying to you??

So, what's new?

Last night I completed my first work shift in over one and a half years. It was a night shift from 11pm-4am working in a bakery prepping and packing orders for Victorian panic bread buyers. Yup. People panic buy bread. Not sure why. How much space do they have in their freezers??? But it made the night busy and threw me into the deep end, which is where I work best. Initially I was afraid that I would panic and become unable to function - I didn't have any initial training, and got lost at least twice trying to find extra bags. But when the job is physical and fairly intuitive, I can get into it easily and the hours go by like minutes. I think the hardest thing was slogging through the last hour which consisted of cleaning and stacking shelves with the breads and pastries I had baked earlier in the night for packing and delivery. And that's only because my feet were sore from standing for 5 hours!

My next shift in is to be on Monday from 7pm-10pm working with seafood. I'm less excited as it'll be cold and smell not nearly as nice as the bakery, but it's more experience for me to broaden my scope of knowledge again.

I hated school as a kinaesthetic learner. I also hated office work. But this? This is my jam. This is good. I can touch things and make money. Printing labels and stacking trays especially are my faves. Go team! Label machine go BRRR

Anyway. I'm tired, but nowhere near as badly as I would have been 6 weeks ago. I've thrown up exactly once this month, and that was from food poisoning so it doesn't count. The downside to increased energy is the relative anxiety symptoms - but I also have increased awareness to mitigate those effects. So yeah. I have a real, actual, bonafide job now. I feel so much better.
And I'm off my meds too haha don't tell my mom hahah

TL;DR - Post-treatment has only gone up. Catch you later, pals <3
This is great! Hope it keeps going up. :)
VCE 20
HHD MM Revs (F/R) Eng T&T
ATAR 85
Uni 21-24: BNursing/BMidwifery @ Deakin
Y1T2:
HNM102
HNN122 (double)
HNN114
I hope I don't fail....
Listens to Amira Willighagen and Alma Deutscher and a little Marjolein Acke
~English - PM for P&P/creatives help~
Creative excerpts
Nur/Mid uni journal

For Narnia and for Aslan!

she/her

Basically inactive now. May change. Have a nice day.

turinturambar

  • Forum Obsessive
  • ***
  • Posts: 246
  • TÚRIN TURAMBAR DAGNIR GLAURUNGA
  • Respect: +184
Re: Poet's Well-being Journal
« Reply #204 on: July 15, 2021, 10:17:00 pm »
+2
Am I not annoying to you??

No.

Quote
TL;DR - Post-treatment has only gone up. Catch you later, pals <3

That's great :)
“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” – Neil Gaiman