ATAR Notes: Forum

VCE Stuff => VCE English Studies => VCE Subjects + Help => VCE English & EAL => Topic started by: literally lauren on January 27, 2014, 02:23:00 am

Title: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on January 27, 2014, 02:23:00 am
Hi all,

This is a Q&A style directory resource for VCE English. Below are links to all previously asked questions, sorted by category. Please refer to these before posting to avoid cluttering the thread. Just give the list a quick run down to make sure you're not retreading the same ground. If you do ask something similar/identical to a previous question, well... I'll probably just refer you back with a link to the past query, but I will be somewhat irked. And you won't like me when I'm irked.*

However, if you need further clarification with any of these I'm happy to explain something in more detail, so don't let your fear of my wrath keep you from asking questions =) This is still an ever-growing resource and hopefully this format will make it easier to navigate. You may even find some questions asked previously which you hadn't considered, so this should make for helpful procrastinating browsing to aid your study :)

If there are any errors or defunct links please let me know with a PM and I'll try to keep this up to date. Some links may take you to the page where my response is, but not the specific post. Apologies in advance for my total lack of tech-savvy-ness.

*I do have one rule though: no 'I'm only getting 7/10, how do I get 10/10?? posts.' This is not a valid question. Firstly, there are many different ways to score a 7, and without having read your work, I have no idea where you're making errors. Second, there are many different ways to score a 10, so again, I won't know what that looks like for you. Third, some pieces are simply not capable of being redrafted into a 10/10 without some serious changes to ideas, language, contention, and everything. Forth, 'getting a 7' is not a qualitative indicator of your ability; whilst it may seem like a numbers game in the end, you can easily cheat the system by putting your head down, working on self-betterment, and giving it your darndest in the exam room. A numerical grade can be a good indicator of where you're at, but it's your teacher/tutor's comments that will be of the most help. Fifth, if there was some secret cheat code to getting perfect 10s I'd be making VCAA buy my silence for a hefty price. Alas, I'm poor because there is no cheat code... as far as you know...

There's also an L.A. structure guide and a Useful Vocab document attached here. But to reiterate something I've said many times already: your end-of-year assessors have essentially 'done' VCE English, and they'll be reading more papers within the marking period than you and your friends will have written all year, so they're more than capable of recognising formulae and rote-learning when they see it. As English students you have the tricky task of navigating the fine line between adequate preparation that enables you to think clearly in SACs/exam conditions, AND over-preparation that sounds rote-learned or undeveloped. Unlike many other subjects, memorisation won't get you far (and I'm aware there are "success stories" of people memorising essays, esp. for Context, and scoring extremely highly, but trust me- they're the anomalies.) You're much better off following these steps:

edit: a reminder that this isn't a thread for essay marking. The English Work Submission and Marking is available for anyone in need of feedback, but you're free to send me a PM if you want my advice :)






updated November 2014 up to page 50
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: nerdmmb on January 27, 2014, 02:59:55 am
reposting [sorry mods, I'm new at this]
okay so I finished Year 12 with a 50 in English; perfect marks in all my SACs and the 2013 exam, so am looking to help others through the year:)
Please post any questions or PM for advice
Thanks :)
Hi Lauren,
Congratulations on your incredible score!! I'll be in year 11 this year, what would you recommend me to focus on this year? Thanks!! :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on January 27, 2014, 03:15:08 am
Hi Lauren,
Congratulations on your incredible score!! I'll be in year 11 this year, what would you recommend me to focus on this year? Thanks!! :)

I know it sounds teacher-y, but developing good study habits are key in Year 11. If you want to do really well, try to read something every night. (not just your texts) It will expand your vocabulary immensely and this is what tends to distinguish marks in the upper bandwidths. Apart from that, developing solid Language Analysis skills now will give you an advantage next year for Text Responses, as they require a lot of time to get right, and there are always some bizarre left-of-field prompts that can catch you unawares :) With Language Analysis though, learn how to deal with a variety of text types, and know how to pick apart techniques at a word level, then you'll be cruising through the Year 12 course.
Best of luck :)
Lauren
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on January 27, 2014, 03:32:31 am
Hello Lauren9460

Congratulations on your 50, amazing achievement. Any advice on introductions for text response? I find mine are often too simple and not worth writing down.

Thanks:)

I've found Text Response structures to be highly dependent on the prompt. If you're given a character/thematic one, then do the basics (topic sentence outlining the prompts general concern, then expanding upon your stance.) A common way to add complexity is by issuing a 'challenge' to the prompt's implications. (eg. for the prompt 'Ignorance is more powerful that knowledge' [Year of Wonders 2012] your stance may be that no, knowledge ultimately triumphs, but your introduction could include or even end with something like: 'However, one cannot ignore the corrosive effect of the ignorance of certain characters, and its pervasive influence on others.' Contrarily, if you're arguing that yes, ignorance cannot be conquered, then add a sentence like 'yet the tenacity and intellect of __ at times almost eclipses the influence of others, inferring the Dark Ages of plague and nescience will eventually give way to The Enlightenment.)
Furthermore, a comment about either author intention or reader/audience reception is a good way to add sophistication. In fact it ensures you are analysing and not summarising if your sentences begin with phrases like 'It is through __ that the author introduces the idea of __' or '__ provides a lens through which audiences can view the actions of others.'
Sometimes you'll get a prompt that specifies a focus on an author's views and values (eg. 'Shakespeare implies the role of king was never that important to the Prince.) Even here, though, there are still thematic elements of kingship and priorities centered around a character.
Overall, don't stick to formulas as they bore assessors to tears. Try to introduce a fresh and insightful way into the text, or at the very least some provocative challenges. Worst case scenario, you'll have to make up for a mediocre introduction with some killer body paragraphs :) but it pays to make a good first impression, so work on intros for a variety of topic types to find what works for you.
Hope that helps.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: nerdmmb on January 27, 2014, 01:59:40 pm
I know it sounds teacher-y, but developing good study habits are key in Year 11. If you want to do really well, try to read something every night. (not just your texts) It will expand your vocabulary immensely and this is what tends to distinguish marks in the upper bandwidths. Apart from that, developing solid Language Analysis skills now will give you an advantage next year for Text Responses, as they require a lot of time to get right, and there are always some bizarre left-of-field prompts that can catch you unawares :) With Language Analysis though, learn how to deal with a variety of text types, and know how to pick apart techniques at a word level, then you'll be cruising through the Year 12 course.
Best of luck :)
Lauren

Thank-you very much Lauren! :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on January 29, 2014, 07:50:52 pm
EDIT: I'm leaving this essay here just because this was a near impossible piece to analyse and I doubt any school would assign it as practice. I'll trust you all enough to use this as a study tool like any other practice piece.

I've been getting a lot of PMs about Language Analysis, especially comparative and visual pieces so I thought I'd post one of my 10s from last year.
This was on the 2011 exam, the article can be viewed through the VCAA Past Exam Papers website. I haven't held back with the language, but with practice and help from my teacher I was able to turn this into a strength. There are a few instances where I lapse into quoting to summarise, but otherwise the analysis was alright
Hope this helps :)

Helen Day’s blog post ‘The Power of Ink’ laments that the prevalence of tattoos has undermined their intrinsic value, and has thus diminished the personal significance of the art form. Although most of society has been desensitized to the concept of body art, debates nowadays range from the intent behind tattoos, to the health risks associated with the process, to the aestheticism of the art, and to the wider cultural implications of appropriated symbolism. Day’s article was accompanied by various comments spanning this variety of responses, as well as two images depicting both an ancient and modern day example of tattoo art.

   Day’s overwhelming use of references to the passing of time and the mutable meanings of tattoos forms part of her jeremiad against the “commodified” form becoming a mere “fashion statement.” Her extensive recounts of the historical implications of tattoos cement in a reader’s mind the immense cultural importance. When juxtaposed with the “roses [and] skulls” of “suburban housewives,” Day highlights the comparatively shallow and worthless nature of modern ink. That it is simply a “fashion statement” is a particularly effective term given that tattoos were once a symbol of “deviance and criminality;” of rebellion, yet have been misappropriated by the very people that traditional tattoo bearers rebelled against. Having become a commodity is therefore galvanizing for any reader who associates themselves with the deviancy of truly powerful tattoos. Whilst words like “deviance and criminality” generally connote delinquency and wrongdoing, here they seem a colourful alternative to the trivial proprietary mark of fashion. Thus even readers without tattoos are inclined to view this current trend as superficial and insincere. Day’s history of the evolution of tattoos contains many bleak and horrific events, from concentration camps to brutal slave trade, and the insinuation that modern tattoo bearers are unaware of these implications renders them insensitive and ignorant in the reader’s eyes; to some extent disrespecting the memory of the victims of infamous atrocities. In this sense, Day establishes a dichotomy between those who understand and appreciate the culture of tattoos and those concerned purely with aesthetics, positioning the reader to view the latter as uneducated, naive conformists.

   This dichotomy extends further in terms of social zeitgeists and public regard for body art. Constant references that hark back to past glories of the unifying power of tattoos and their capacity to satirise and subvert even the most “indelible cruelty” serve to accentuate the disparity between the past and present. The first image of traditional Maori emblematic art contributes to this apotheosis and nostalgia for the power of ink, whereas the second image contains a much more simplistic design that is indicative of a simplistic understanding of tattoos’ significance. When outlining the role of branding in slave ownership, Day describes the function of “a sign that the bearer had a value.” This encourages readers to employ the same standards today, eliciting their contempt for “upmarket shoppers” who have brought about the fading of the art. She infers that if the tattoos themselves have faded, then so have the convictions of those who wear them; effectively angling readers to share in her disapproval of those who destabilize the potential of tattoos for self-expression. Day also utilises this tattoo imagery as a subtle reflection of its own deterioration; the “indelible” history should have been as palpable and permanent as tattoos have been throughout the ages, but it has “faded” in a most unnatural way, becoming a “cosmetic ornament”. Even a readership who does not value the nature of tattoos in the same way as Day, is disposed to rejecting a loss of culture and defending it from those who would undercut its significance. Some take the outrage further, like commenter ‘Kiwi’ who harangues with incredulity against the “identity theft” associated with appropriating culture, equating tattoo imitations to “disgraceful and immoral” acts. This engenders a reader’s indignation at the violation of “a sacred form of family and personal identification.” Not all readers view tattoos in such a light, however, as ‘Dr AB’ reveals in his comment. An authoritative figure amongst the more colloquial comments, the medical practitioner depicts the tattooing process with gruesome detail designed to repulse the reader. The doctor also conveys the threat to one’s health that tattoos pose, listing various diseases that further invoke a reader’s innate aversion to pain. Whilst Dr AB’s views contrasts greatly to that of Day and other commenters, he uses a similar appeal to sanctity and inviolability, though each author differs in what they consider sacrosanct.

   Day shifts to a less polemic and more sentimental tone, as she relates her own experiences with tattoos in her youth. Having established herself as one who comprehends the true meaning of body art, Day’s “defile[ment] of [her] femininity” is seen by readers as part of the satirical defiance that tattoos represent. Conversely, the now “sexy” regard for affixed symbols is almost immature and imprudent in comparison. Day again uses the word “indelible” to lament what her tattoo has become: “not a real memory of feminist youth” but an unwanted connection to other women who adorn themselves without understanding the persistent defiance. Without something to defy, Day implies, a tattoo is meaningless. Her readership is therefore positioned to defend the deserving of their art form whilst simultaneously condemning those who seek to modify it. This notion of individualistic value is also explored in the comments; ‘Tash’ writes of her pride in displaying her uniqueness, as captured by her tattoo, whereas ‘Cleanskin’ states bluntly “I’m a rebel and an individual- I have no tattoos.” These similar appeals on behalf of opposing views show how some are gratified by a symbol of identity, whereas others see their lack of affixation as unique in its own way. In an attempt to win reader approval through anecdotal experiences and conversational language, both authors invoke their originality as reason for their stance, as Day does when describing the “reckless abandon of Carnevale” that her tattoo briefly conferred. The inference that tattoos are a form of identity concealment or disguise would be in equal parts alluring and discomforting for readers. She provokes appreciation on behalf of her fellow tattooed readers, but rather than the unease amongst some other members of society who view identity concealment as having something to hide, the connotations of ‘Carnevale’ are ones of jubilant celebration. Consequently, even readers not usually inclined to sympathise with tattoo wearers are here encouraged to feel a sense of loss as the carnival leaves town, and tattoos become conventional, “ordinary” and as commonplace as a cosmopolitan, “cosmetic quirk.”

   Day’s blog post and the accompanying comments and visuals show how the protean and ever-changing values of society impact upon tattoo bearers as a collective whole and as individuals, contending that the actions of others can have a lasting effect on personal meaning and idiosyncratic value. Her strong use of dichotomies and equating of tattoos to a person’s worth is effective for a wide demographic, even people who consider body art as trivial or quotidian are persuaded by the likening of tattoos to a dying art form, and are thus disposed to espouse Day’s views.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: NathanJ on February 02, 2014, 10:58:53 am
Hi Lauren,

I was wondering what your approach was towards SAC's and the Exam? How often did you read the texts? How often did you write practice essays?

Thank-you,
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on February 02, 2014, 02:28:12 pm
Hi Lauren,

I was wondering what your approach was towards SAC's and the Exam? How often did you read the texts? How often did you write practice essays?

Thank-you,

Hey Nathan,

I was told it's okay to take risks in SACs so that's what I did for most of the year, especially in the Context essays. I experimented with different techniques and styles so that once the exam came, I knew what worked best for me. For the exam, my approach involved reading and writing a heap of essays, though in certain areas I reached a point of diminishing return ie. I knew all I could by that stage, the rest was just fine-tuning. I'd recommend you determine which of the 3 areas is your strongest. Develop that area now, then you can focus on the other two throughout the year. (eg. Language Analysis was easy for me, lit. gave me an advantage; by our first SAC in April I knew what I was doing and got full marks on all my practice stuff. This meant I could dedicate much needed time to Context pieces over the next few months)
I read the texts once over the summer holidays and we read through them all once in class. For Henry IV, our last text, I had to reread it again during the holidays. For context I didn't worry so much, two read throughs/viewings was enough. But for text responses I would have read my exam text at least 4 times. Don't stress too much, some people read in twice thoroughly and don't need to go back to it, others are light readers and even on the seventh reread they'll find something new. It does depend on your texts though. We had some surface-level ones like Year Of Wonders and Paradise Road (rewatching the movie is always good when you don't feel like actual 'study') whereas with the Shakespeare I saw one film version, one play, and read it twice before I felt confident enough to start writing on it.
Compared to some of my friends I was a little slack with the practice essays :P I didn't really learn anything by just churning them out once a day, though for others this is the best way to learn/revise. I guess it would have been once or twice a week leading up to exams, but throughout the year, unless we had a due piece, I preferred to study in different ways (eg. reading articles and making notes, going through the text and making a quote repository, even reading and correcting friends' essays.) Find what works for you, I can't really give a solid number. Don't write an essay unless you have something specific you need to practice, be that a difficult or unfamiliar prompt type, a tricky Language Analysis *coughHelenDaycough* or anything you find challenging. There's no point writing pieces at the same comfortable level and making the same mistakes. Work with your teachers as they're usually a good judge of what the requirement is for individual students
Hope that helps :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: spectroscopy on February 02, 2014, 02:54:59 pm
Did you do english every night to get your 50? or was it just an essay a week or so, more before sacs, and read the book 2 or 3 times?
what are your thoughts on study guides?
cheers
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on February 02, 2014, 03:59:50 pm
Did you do english every night to get your 50? or was it just an essay a week or so, more before sacs, and read the book 2 or 3 times?
what are your thoughts on study guides?
cheers

Not EVERY night... but most. Sometimes I'd just reread a paper or think about some prompts, there's always something you can do for English. I had some notes on my phone I could skim through on the bus, I'd find articles on my texts online to read while listening to music. Writing essays is not the only way to study, it's only effective once you have a grasp on the text/technique and feel confident to express your ideas. An essay a week is a good goal, but don't write one just to make an arbitrary quota. Also in some weeks you'll have SACs for every subject, sometimes more than one, so don't get to caught up in rigid study schedules.
See the above comment to Nathan regarding reading the books. At least 2 or 3 times is probably needed, but everyone's different.

Re: study guides, I've read through a couple, and the text specific ones (eg. Insight Study Guides) are pretty good. Just know that everyone in the state has access to the same notes, therefore if you're aiming high you have to go beyond the guides. They are a good foundation for your responses (and good to read on days you don't feel like intensive study) but you should be pushing yourself beyond them once you've grasped the basics. I can guarantee most assessors will have read the guides on texts they're studying, so spouting back what you've read doesn't really impress.
General guides on study tips or structuring essays are only really needed if you're teacher can't help. They should always be a first resort as they've got a better understanding of your own potential than some generic recommendations. Worth a read, but take it all with a grain of salt :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: nerdmmb on February 02, 2014, 04:05:46 pm
Hi Lauren,
I just had a question about vocab - although I may have asked this one before  :P

I've started to gather atleast one article per week and read that and pick up phrases from it-
What is the best way to incorporate these phrases into my essays?
I also find that any new vocab I learn - I don't remember it-- so I end up using my thesaurus...

Thanks :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on February 02, 2014, 04:17:29 pm
Awesome work ITT, Lauren.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on February 02, 2014, 04:38:46 pm
Hi Lauren,
I just had a question about vocab - although I may have asked this one before  :P

I've started to gather atleast one article per week and read that and pick up phrases from it-
What is the best way to incorporate these phrases into my essays?
I also find that any new vocab I learn - I don't remember it-- so I end up using my thesaurus...

Thanks :)

Starting a sort of vocab repository/ list at the back of your workbook/ ipad/ whatever you kids use these days is the best way of improving. You'll pick up heaps throughout the year, and I'll try to post some of the helpful ones from my book later on.
The list should contain the word/phrase, a simple definition if you can't remember, and a sample sentence so you know how to use it
eg. 'seditious' (came up a lot in Henry IV for me) means inciting rebellion or something inflamatory, 'his actions were deemed seditious by the king.
Read over these at least once every couple of days, or every night if you're adding heaps. Don't worry if they don't stick just yet, gradually these words will come to you as you write, which means it'll be a lot smoother than some search+replace thesaurus work.
No shame in thesauruses though, I've still got one bookmarked :P
I'll type up a list of useful words and post it here when I'm done.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on February 02, 2014, 04:40:17 pm
Awesome work ITT, Lauren.
Aww shucks  ;D *blushes*
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: charmanderp on February 02, 2014, 04:57:32 pm
Awesome work ITT, Lauren.
I concur. Keep it up!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on February 02, 2014, 06:27:03 pm
As promised, attached (hopefully) are some of the helpful words I accumulated last year. Some of these are quite basic, but there will be others you are unfamiliar with. I haven't put definitions for anything as it's better for you to look up the ones you need so that you can understand and define them in your own words.
Add to this as you go, but be aware that the sophisticated language should be used in moderation. Use these words when they're necessary, not to show off or to try to elevate your mark.
As someone who had to be warned off overdoing the vocab. here's some advice that was given to me: 'Some teachers will be impressed, but others will resent having to google every third word just to read your work.' So by all means expand your vocab, but don't risk annoying your assessors :)
Let the look-say-cover-write-check begin!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: nerdmmb on February 02, 2014, 06:28:47 pm
As promised, attached (hopefully) are some of the helpful words I accumulated last year. Some of these are quite basic, but there will be others you are unfamiliar with. I haven't put definitions for anything as it's better for you to look up the ones you need so that you can understand and define them in your own words.
Add to this as you go, but be aware that the sophisticated language should be used in moderation. Use these words when they're necessary, not to show off or to try to elevate your mark.
As someone who had to be warned off overdoing the vocab. here's some advice that was given to me: 'Some teachers will be impressed, but others will resent having to google every third word just to read your work.' So by all means expand your vocab, but don't risk annoying your assessors :)
Let the look-say-cover-write-check begin!

Thanks Lauren! This will really help!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: popoy111 on February 02, 2014, 09:53:14 pm
Hello Lauren, I'm just wondering what are the key aspects to make your English text response an A+
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on February 02, 2014, 09:56:10 pm
Don't forget to upvote her, people.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: nerdmmb on February 02, 2014, 09:57:06 pm
Don't forget to upvote her, people.

If only it could be done twice.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on February 03, 2014, 07:04:12 am
Hello Lauren, I'm just wondering what are the key aspects to make your English text response an A+

If you're talking about boosting an A to an A+, sophisticated language is probably the major factor. Learning how to channel what I'd learned, in particular using academic articles and such, into what the assessors were looking for was also important. I've mentioned before how using study guides for your texts can be helpful as a foundation, but to elevate your mark you need to move beyond them, as (most!) teachers already know the basics.
Obviously each student will have different aspects that make their work strong, whether it's the articulation of ideas, the interpretation of the text, or even a well thought-out structure and approach. Teachers are usually in a better position to determine how best to maximise your mark, but I'd be happy to look over some practice stuff if you want specific advice.
In general: practice a variety of difficult prompts, know your text inside-out, and read widely. Not only will the latter help develop vocab. but reading other students' essays, or the aforementioned professional academic pieces will also assist in establishing your own unique interpretations and insights.

I'll be posting some of my practice essays and SACs on Henry IV Part 1 in my other thread, even if you aren't studying the text it might help to see how to construct a response or employ some high-level words. There's also general purpose stuff on different prompt types and how to approach them
If you need more, let me know what texts you're doing and I'll try to help
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on February 05, 2014, 11:41:12 pm
Sooo many PMs about orals, I know they're awful guys, but you'll be fine :)
I thought I'd post some LA stuff since I don't have much on oral presentations that hasn't been said already.
This might assist with speech writing anyway; a good tip for constructing a persuasive piece is thinking about how you would analyse it if it were an LA task. How many techniques could you comment on? Is there a holistic appeal or do you use many different ones? How have you treated the key players in the issue?

SIDE NOTE: I've also had some people asking about what a 'key player' is. Sorry, it's been common vocab at my old school for so long that I forget not everyone knows what it means  :P It's a simple enough concept, but can make for a sophisticated way of structuring your analyses. A 'player' is basically a party involved in the issue, eg. for the 2012 Exam paper, the players included: schoolchildren, books/ebooks (players don't have to be sentient), parents/teachers, and the author herself. It's easy enough to identify who or what the key players are, but the nuance is in determining the author's portrayal/ positioning of them. (eg. ebooks are something overpriced and pale in comparison to the thrill of genuine books) and thus how the readership is made to view the issue through this player.
Instead of dealing with articles chronologically, the player approach is much more flexible and highly recommended. I used the chronological method for a while, but found I had to keep jumping around either because I wanted to link to a similar point later on, or because I'd forgotten something earlier, meaning my essay lacked cohesion. Grouping paragraphs by players is also beneficial when dealing with multiple articles, as it forces you to compare and contrast, instead of dealing with each text as a separate construct. The exam pieces usually involve a single text and multiple visuals, so this can be a much more practical way of setting up your essay.
For the aforementioned example, you might chose to dedicate one paragraph to the treatment of books as opposed to ebooks (though generally the core player needs discussing throughout your essay,) one to children/students, and one to parents and teachers. For an issue with many players, these can often be grouped together in relatively easy ways. Otherwise, if there are a lot of minor players, a few mentions here and there are sufficient.
This approach is not foolproof, and there are situations where it can turn otherwise solid analysis into a convoluted and nonsensical piece of writing, but overall it's the most reliable method I've found.

Anyway, persuasive techniques!
Attached is a list of any and all that came to mind, let me know if you think of any others. Some will be incredibly simplistic and rarely warrant mentioning, others are needlessly complex and are rarely found. Hopefully all the in between ones will be of some assistance :)

That said, keep in mind VCAA again reiterated in the Report for last year: "there is little to be gained from simply identifying techniques." Analysis requires much more than that; knowing devices is only the first step.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: yalata2013 on February 06, 2014, 04:26:20 pm
HOW DID YOU GET A 50 IN ENGLISH HAHA??!?!?! how did you study/any tips to improve?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on February 06, 2014, 06:18:23 pm
HOW DID YOU GET A 50 IN ENGLISH HAHA??!?!?! how did you study/any tips to improve?

Partially blind luck... I'm pretty sure an assessor read mine after a string of barely legible 1s and 2s so I just looked good in comparison...

But I did work throughout the year, I knew what my weaknesses were and made sure I did something whenever I had the chance. Little things like reading while on the bus in the mornings or having my notes pinned to the bedroom wall helped a bit, but ultimately there's no substitute for practice essays. External reading is an excellent way to build up vocab, and if you can find a thread here for your texts/context I'd recommend getting involved in some of those discussions.
But all of this is wasted if you don't know how to implement what you've learned. At this stage of the year get into the habit of reading widely and actively. Get to know your teacher this year too since they'll likely be the most help. Otherwise, tutoring can also confer a considerable advantage. I never had a tutor myself, but my teacher was good enough for me not to need one.
If you want to post some of your work, or some more specific questions I might be able to help :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: DJA on February 06, 2014, 08:07:17 pm
HOW do you write good creative writing. More specifically how do you SHOW and not TELL?

Teachers love saying that but how would you suggest putting this into practice?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on February 06, 2014, 08:40:59 pm
HOW do you write good creative writing. More specifically how do you SHOW and not TELL?

Teachers love saying that but how would you suggest putting this into practice?

"Good creative writing" is utterly subjective, I'll try to cover this in a later post.
In terms of 'show don't tell':
1. longer sentences is a good rule of thumb. 'Telling' seems to occur when students get to the point to quickly eg. 'She felt conflicted.' whereas 'showing' takes longer: 'She glanced at her mother's tired face and opened her mouth tentatively.' This isn't always the case, but as a guide, look at the sentence you've written. If you can ask 'how' or 'why' then you probably need more. Not every sentence needs to be this way, of course, it's best mixed in with a variety of other lengths and degrees of complexity.
That said, don't lose your message in a web of verbose description. I've read pieces that go on and on about the colour, size and shape of every item of furniture in a room. Don't waste time with anything that detracts too far from your exploration of the prompt/text. They don't give many marks for writerly talent if it seems like you're circumventing the task at hand.
To familiarise yourself with 'showing', pick up a novel and work out the ratio of showing/telling in each paragraph, or (if you pick the right book) observe how authors can both show and tell withing the same sentence. This is also a good way of learning about different narrative styles and plot pacing if you're writing stories.
The creative style is most closely linked with the expository, in that you are exposing and revealing facets of the prompt, as opposed to dictating or polemicising as in a persuasive piece.
If you intend to write this way in SACs and the exam, talk to your teacher and develop a style that works for you. Some students weave in expository elements to a short story, others write letters or inner monologues of characters in the texts. It's an incredibly open-ended and versatile task, but is also the riskiest of the three styles. With a lot of practice you'll be fine once exams roll around.
I'll put up some of my attempts at creative pieces on Conflict later (I won't call them failed attempts but they definitely weren't successful.) The VCAA Past Exam pages also have some samples.
Hope that helps :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on February 06, 2014, 08:59:33 pm
I know you tutor people so hopefully you can be objective; do you find it necessary to have a tutor in Year 12 English to succeed?

My current Eng. teacher seems quite decent but are tutors necessary to provide a different perspective to the course? Or are they not essential to do well?

EDIT:

Perhaps I should cut to the chase, did you personally employ a tutor to get your score or could you self-study/rely on your teacher solely in English?

haha, I can be objective. No you do not need a tutor. I've never had one. And look at me now  ;D
They are in no way essential, plenty of students obtain brilliant or even perfect marks without one; it just depends on your learning style and capabilities. I had all the support I needed at school through my teacher and a group of friends who were always willing to have lengthy debates with me about whether Anna had the hots for Elinor in Year of Wonders  ;)     (she totally did, btw)
If you're the sort of student that gets a lot out of discussions with other students or need fresh perspectives once in awhile then I can recommend looking around for a tutor. It'll also help in getting alternate marking/ 2nd opinions on practice essays. There are a lot of benefits of tutors (okay I'm not that objective) so you might want to trial lessons for a few weeks, but ultimately it's nowhere near a necessity for high achievement.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on February 07, 2014, 06:15:10 pm
Tutoring definitely not required.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on February 07, 2014, 06:21:28 pm
HOW do you write good creative writing. More specifically how do you SHOW and not TELL?

Teachers love saying that but how would you suggest putting this into practice?

There's a potential for you to find this useful, DJ. (No one judge me for spelling Coober Pedy wrong looooooll)
17/20 Identity and Belonging (Skin) Short-story Example.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on February 11, 2014, 05:40:04 pm
Re: all the Context PMs...
The golden rule of context writing: Don't mention Hitler. Just don't.


This applies more to the expository Conflict factions, but there is an overall message for other contexts and styles too. There are more than 40,000 english essays every year. Some of them are blank, granted, and some will be less than a paragraph. Some people have to fail after all. But for the most part, there are thousands of other students and there's only one prompt for each context. That means for conflict there were about 18000 essays, Id&b had 11000, Whose Reality around 8000, and Imaginative Landscape had 3500. Each assessor will be reading hundreds of these essays, and while some overlap is inevitable, the key to high marks in Context Units is originality.

Historical examples are one of the most common bastions of Conflict students. Given Paradise Road was the most popular texts last year, drawing parallels between the events of the text and other POW camps or war crimes was also a prevalent approach. Furthermore, most schools provide students with heaps of handouts on WWII, The Cold War, The McCarthy trials etc. These are all perfectly fine and versatile examples to incorporate in essays, but they are the same ones most of the 18000 will be using. The trick is to find slightly more rare fodder for your writing.
This is one of my opening paragraphs I wrote about the causes and consequences of conflict:
Quote
On February 15, 1933, Giuseppe Zangara fired a gun whilst standing on a rickety chair, killing the Mayor of Chicago. Mayor Anton Cermak was not his target, however; Zangara was aiming for the man shaking Cermak’s hand, Franklin Roosevelt. If the chair hadn’t wobbled, if Zangara was taller, if he had picked any other piece of furniture to stand on, then America would have lost its 32nd President and instead sworn in his running mate, then Vice President John Nance Garner; a man whose political ideology was the basis for his opposition to a famous package of legislation called ‘The New Deal’ designed to revitalise the financial system. If Zangara’s chair hadn’t wobbled, if any number of things hadn’t occurred exactly when and how they did, America may not have survived The Great Depression.

In short, using common examples can be useful in communicating with assesors directly, since you won't have to waste time like I did providing background information. No one will have any doubt which Hitler or Stalin you're talking about, but they will have read 20 other essays that reference him for similar reasons. This does not mean, however, that you should go out of your way to find esoteric stories or facts just for the sake of standing out. There's a reason the common examples are so common. But good writers will be able to use these as springboards into more sophisticated discussion, not just let the basic historical fact speak for itself.

By the end of the year you should have built up a range of avenues to explore in the exam. They don't all have to be fully formed ideas you've written practice essays on already, in fact it can be better to have some fresher concepts so that you don't fall into the trap of rewriting something of little relevance. I never got to use the above sample intro in a proper SAC or full essay, because the prompt wouldn't allow it. Forcing in examples where they don't belong is worse than not having any at all; ideally you will be so familiar with historical/literary/socio-political events and constructs that when you first look at the exam topic, 3 or 4 will just spring to mind to use at your disposal. Going into a SAC or exam with a mindset of 'I'm going to write about Edward Snowden, Asylum Seekers, and Hitler' is not only limiting, but can inhibit your natural response to the prompt. Every year the assessor's report comments on the lack of genuine engagement with texts and contexts, primarily in instances where students have had a pre-written essay or formula in mind. Build up the repository with stories from the media, novels, films, anything; so that come October there'll be no need to discuss Hitler, because you'll have a wealth of examples that demonstrate your points with much more clarity, sophistication, and individuality.

So to invoke the ever-quotable Monty Python, don't mention the war. Just don't.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: M_BONG on February 11, 2014, 07:04:16 pm
Do you have a guide to language analysis?

How are you actually meant to analyse a piece? Is there like an actual breakdown?

I was taught to Identify, Explain purpose and effect. But when I do that, I tend to summarise rather than "analyse" (plenty of people have told me this).

What is the best way to analyse not summarise?


Also, if an idea is not explicitly or implicitly stated in the article can you suggest it? Are you commenting on what the author is making, from any point of view or from an average, reasonable person's perspective? Also, how do you avoid sounding far-fetched?

Sorry for bombarding you with such a long list of questions!


Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on February 11, 2014, 10:33:49 pm
Glad you asked! L.A. ATTACHMENT HERE!!!
There is no "actual breakdown", but I'll attach a sheet I wrote up for my preferred structure.
A common approach to body paragraphs is the approach you mentioned: Identify techniques, explain effects, and link to contention/ purpose. (TEE to some schools, or other acronym)
The best way to avoid summary is through the structure of your essay. As I've said before, grouping by key players is my recommendation, but experiment a bit in case something else works better for you. If the central concern of each paragraph is how the author has treated the players in the issue, you will have to keep coming back to how these effects are persuasive. I had a bit of an issue with lapsing into summary, particularly with quoting, and what I found helpful was to continuously ask in my head:
what does the author want us to think or feel about the players, and how do I know this?

If you want to post an example of your work I'd be happy to give more specific advice.
You can comment on inferences (meaning what you interpret) as opposed to implications (what the author intends, without stating explicitly). Remember to comment on how the author is conveying this, then move to what effect the inferences we make have on the debate. Just don't get too far removed from the debate. Your role is not to comment on what the author does, but rather how and for what purpose. Keep relating things back to your audience through the TEE format if you're ever in doubt.
I don't quite know what you mean about "sounding far-fetched." You can comment on a technique from a variety of audience angles (eg. 'Children would be influenced by this colloquial language, but adults are likely to see it as pandering and unconvincing'.) If you could give me an example of what you mean I might be able to help more.
Just don't do what I did in year 7: "Unintelligent people might be persuaded by this, as would people who either don't pay attention to the news or can't read." I was a bright spark.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Rod on February 11, 2014, 10:54:10 pm
Wow this is an awesome thread!

Lauren did you by any chance to The Quiet American for context, and the film All About Eve?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on February 12, 2014, 12:01:17 am
Wow this is an awesome thread!

Lauren did you by any chance to The Quiet American for context, and the film All About Eve?

Thanks Rod  ;D
I didn't study either of those texts but I do have some notes on the Quiet American I can post up here later. I think that film might be a new addition since it wasn't on last year's paper.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: M_BONG on February 12, 2014, 08:08:28 pm
Thanks for your tips on LA!
Could you post a sample analysis of yours? Or perhaps just a full body paragraph of analysis  because I learn best by example, not by a list of "to dos".

Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on February 12, 2014, 09:58:12 pm
L.A. ESSAY ATTACHED

Thanks for your tips on LA!
Could you post a sample analysis of yours? Or perhaps just a full body paragraph of analysis  because I learn best by example, not by a list of "to dos".
I've already posted my response to the 2011 exam, The Power of Ink article, but I'll put up another one here. This was for a CSE Exam (just one of the many companies that puts out practice papers every year.) I can't find a copy of the articles online, and I don't want to scan my copy lest I tangle myself in copyright violations etc. Suffice it to say the article was haranguing cyclists in an article called 'The New Bikie War' (my intro and 1st paragraph contextualises a bit) It also criticised the government's appeasing cyclists by adding numerous bike lanes on Melbourne roads. There was a visual with a bunch of cyclists spread across a road with the caption 'Four wheels good, two wheels better' (Orwell, anyone??) Then there were some assorted commentaries, as is often the case with VCAA/CSE et al. prescribed texts. This was a 10/10, though I probably focused too much on the images.. oh the woes of an under-appreciated art student  :-[
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: DJA on February 12, 2014, 10:58:21 pm
L.A. ESSAY ATTACHED

That was a beast language analysis. Thank you! :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: IndefatigableLover on February 12, 2014, 11:09:23 pm
Hi Lauren :)

Just wanted to ask whether you referred to notes from study guides or from websites such as Sparknotes etc. for your texts and if so, how much?
I normally find myself browsing Sparknotes for some ideas before making my own notes on my text (sometimes incorporating those ideas into it) but is that a good idea?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on February 12, 2014, 11:39:09 pm
That was a beast language analysis. Thank you! :)
why thank you kind sir... (http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-suEs7_GRm2E/Tu9lWfBSAlI/AAAAAAAAE2U/nb8qWJ0O_Us/s220/rawr.gif)

Hi Lauren :)

Just wanted to ask whether you referred to notes from study guides or from websites such as Sparknotes etc. for your texts and if so, how much?
I normally find myself browsing Sparknotes for some ideas before making my own notes on my text (sometimes incorporating those ideas into it) but is that a good idea?

I perused through what little I could find on my texts over the summer holidays, and bookmarked a few good pages/topics to come back to once we'd started going through it in class. Study guides are excellent foundations, but they are by no means holistic. Your responses will have to go beyond what's on Sparknotes etc. if you're aiming for higher marks. Also, these resources are available to everyone in the state (with wifi) including the assessors. At the end of the year you might get a complete newbie who's blown away by your ability to spell the author's name correctly and refer to something as a theme, or you might get a cold cynical bastard, hardened by years of reading the same regurgitated info lifted directly from study guides or online resources.

Incorperating ideas is fine, and can even add another dimension to your writing (esp. for Text Response in terms of acknowledging alternate viewpoints) and at this stage of the year it's great that you're already contemplating these ideas. In fact browsing through this sort of stuff is a good background activity, ie. while watching tv or listening to music. Familiarise yourself with as much as you can, but ideally by exam time you'll be confident enough to move beyond the skeleton stuff provided by reference sites and into your own unique interpretations and approaches.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Rod on February 13, 2014, 03:41:41 pm
why thank you kind sir... (http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-suEs7_GRm2E/Tu9lWfBSAlI/AAAAAAAAE2U/nb8qWJ0O_Us/s220/rawr.gif)

I perused through what little I could find on my texts over the summer holidays, and bookmarked a few good pages/topics to come back to once we'd started going through it in class. Study guides are excellent foundations, but they are by no means holistic. Your responses will have to go beyond what's on Sparknotes etc. if you're aiming for higher marks. Also, these resources are available to everyone in the state (with wifi) including the assessors. At the end of the year you might get a complete newbie who's blown away by your ability to spell the author's name correctly and refer to something as a theme, or you might get a cold cynical bastard, hardened by years of reading the same regurgitated info lifted directly from study guides or online resources.

Incorperating ideas is fine, and can even add another dimension to your writing (esp. for Text Response in terms of acknowledging alternate viewpoints) and at this stage of the year it's great that you're already contemplating these ideas. In fact browsing through this sort of stuff is a good background activity, ie. while watching tv or listening to music. Familiarise yourself with as much as you can, but ideally by exam time you'll be confident enough to move beyond the skeleton stuff provided by reference sites and into your own unique interpretations and approaches.
Hey Lauren!

So what should we do after reading our study guides? I also agree that ideas from study guides won't get us as much marks, as 65-70% of students would probably read them. And it would get boring for the assessors if they have to read the same idea over and over again!

So how did you come up with ideas in your text response that distinguished your essay from students who have just been referring to study guides?

Thanks :D
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on February 14, 2014, 02:19:07 pm
So what should we do after reading our study guides? I also agree that ideas from study guides won't get us as much marks, as 65-70% of students would probably read them. And it would get boring for the assessors if they have to read the same idea over and over again!

So how did you come up with ideas in your text response that distinguished your essay from students who have just been referring to study guides?

Assuming you've read the text once or twice (depending on length/ difficulty, novels are easy enough but Shakespeare or Dickens might require a refresher) try to push yourself further with your reading. Academic journals are always good, and there might even be some professionally written articles if you can find them. In terms of developing your own responses, keep asking questions until your brain hurts. Take a prompt like: ''Cosi' contends that some things are more important than politics.'
           etc etc.

Basically the who-what-when-where-how-why days of primary school come back to haunt you. For a prompt like this, the bulk of students will answer the question 'what is more important than politics?' and all 3/4 paragraphs will just be expounding upon this. What impresses assessors is when you approach the prompt from an angle (or angles, if you're feeling ambitious) they haven't seen a hundred times before, eg. 'Intimacy and closeness can be seen to take priority over bureaucracy and governance, but this was not always the case...' I haven't studied Cosi so I'm improvising here..
You don't have to answer all of these questions, and don't forget you still have to deal with the core of the prompt, but this is a surefire way to distinguish your writing; choosing something interesting to write about.
In all honesty, to stand out from students relying solely on what they've read before isn't exactly difficult. If you're in the mid to upper band of english marks you might find the general set of Sparknotes or other guides are so basic, you've essentially covered them just by thinking about the text or writing a couple of practice essays. Some notes are better than others, the Insight text guides are usually pretty good, but they are still have a relatively limited scope of ideas.

Apart from that, the quality of your ideas is closely linked with how well you can structure your response. For some students this means spending 10 minutes of writing time formulating a solid plan, whereas others will have two or three structures they are so familiar with, they can apply them to any type of prompt. Personally, I'd never spend longer than a minute planning, because I found I was uncovering new ideas as I was writing; I'd get to the 2nd paragraph and stumble upon a completely new idea that trumped whatever I was going to write next, and I'd shift my essay in that direction. That's why my intros were often quite noncommittal, because I never knew where I was going to end up. But I can understand the need for a 'safety net', in fact I'd still keep some structural guidelines up my sleeve in case I ever got in trouble (#henryIVprompt2013)

Ideas are the major deciding factor in your grade; writerly talent and impressive vocabulary might sway your score by one or two marks, but an essay with clever, original ideas and mediocre expression will trump a well-written piece of regurgitated irrelevant drivel any day of the week.

For now, I'd be focusing on knowing the content backwards. Start acquainting yourself with the most important quotes or scenes, and pin some up around the house. These's heaps of time for fine-tuning ideas throughout the year, it's not unusual for students to jump two or three grade points during swot-vac alone.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Einstein on February 14, 2014, 04:30:22 pm
How do you layer out your Intro, how do you start it? Any examples would be great :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on February 14, 2014, 04:32:38 pm
How do you layer out your Intro, how do you start it? Any examples would be great :)

Do you mean for Language Analyses, Text Responses or Context pieces?
Narrow it down for me :P
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Einstein on February 14, 2014, 05:28:13 pm
sorry for that, i mean text response, if you could do context as well that would be great, thanks :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on February 14, 2014, 09:59:24 pm
sorry for that, i mean text response, if you could do context as well that would be great, thanks :)

no worries :)

These formulas worked as general rules for me, but build on them to find your own unique style. As with the above posts (building on the foundations of study guides & notes) relying solely on other people's methods will make your writing sound ..not your own. Sonds silly, but examiners notice. Use this as an outline and try to find your own format as the year goes on.
DISCLAIMER: THERE IS MORE THAN ONE WAY TO SKIN A CAT WRITE AN INTRO!
 
DO:DON'T
Intros are structural requirements, so it's important to get them right, but the content of your essay will have greater bearing on the mark. I have heard, however, that by the time an assessor reads your intro, they have already decided on your bandwidth (eg. within B+, B, C+ range) Not that they don't read the whole essays (right, VCAA?? -.- ) but since they're working through piles of hundreds, most are pretty adept at working out the potential of your essay based on your intro. So first impressions count for a lot in English, as do last impressions, but I'll save that for another day..

Hope that helps :)

For context, are you writing in a persuasive, expository or imaginative style?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: nerdmmb on February 14, 2014, 10:02:34 pm
Hi Lauren,
I was just wondering, when am I expected to actually start writing context essay? (am in year 11 btw) :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Einstein on February 14, 2014, 10:07:42 pm


Hope that helps :)



nope didn't help me at all, pick your game up. HAHAHA are you joking me, thank you so much for taking the time to write that all :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on February 14, 2014, 10:13:04 pm
^lol cheers Einstein  ;D

Hi Lauren,
I was just wondering, when am I expected to actually start writing context essay? (am in year 11 btw) :)

Presumably you'll have to write some this year. Every school orders their content differently, I think we covered Context in term 2. I'd just wait till your teacher starts introducing it all. Read up on the general requirements or some past papers for now, but otherwise there's really no rush. You'll be so sick of practice essays by october next year, you'll wonder if there was ever a time when you weren't writing context essays. So long as you have a vague idea of what is required (and Context is vague at the best of times) I wouldn't worry :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: nhmn0301 on February 15, 2014, 05:26:58 am
Hi Lauren,
I find myself not so much "creative" in Context and really lack of ideas. Can you give me some tips on how to improve this throughout the year? My context is Encountering conflict btw.
Thanks heaps Lauren :D
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on February 15, 2014, 09:25:39 am
Hi Lauren,
I find myself not so much "creative" in Context and really lack of ideas. Can you give me some tips on how to improve this throughout the year? My context is Encountering conflict btw.
Thanks heaps Lauren :D

Sure!
Context can be the trickiest of the three tasks for a variety of reasons. Chief among which: sample essays won't really help. In Language Analysis you're expected to cover the same thing, it's just a mater of how well you structure/express it. In Text Response, though you might have different texts, the way you analyse and approach the prompts are the same. But for context, two completely different pieces could be given full marks. For this reason it's also hard to get right; it's inherently subjective. This is particularly bad for students attempting creative writing - I once got a feedback sheet from a chief assessor that said 'This is too risky, you might be given a 6/10 and that is an insult to you. Don't do this in the exam!!!' <-- lesson learned: you don't get any points for writing well unless your ideas are relevant and plausible.

You don't need to write creatively in Context, but you do need to be creative. Your writing can be purely expository, though that might be a little dry. I'd recommend hybrid essays (ie. either weave in some creative elements, like in the intro or conclusion, or try to make it persuasive so that your voice becomes stronger.) This skill can be developed throughout the year, try to work out where your strengths are in terms of writing styles. If you want to post something up here I'd be happy to help, otherwise your teacher might be able to assist you.

Re: lacking ideas. Okay, my advice to a friend was to write about anything. (for practice papers) She loved surreal art, so I suggested researching Salvador Dali's life and incorporating the conflicts he experienced into a response to the prompt. (yeah we did conflict too, and I never want to hear that word again but oh well) This is best done around late term 2/term 3, once you've grasped the basics of context's requirements, and come to terms with the texts you're studying. Find whatever interests you (movies, politics, history, literature, current events, people) and start developing a bank of examples you can use. eg. If our conflict essays dealt with the idea of power, then I'd link it to the leadership challenge in Australian politics, and how this compares with parliaments around the world, even the Arab Spring if I had enough time. Worst case scenario, just go back to the texts. Take the voice of a character or a narrator exploring their predicament. eg. I wrote one from the POV of Daisy from Paradise Road as she was composing her poetry. As she was choosing her words, I'd give voice to her inner monologue, contemplating the hardships the women had faced, and their resilient hope etc. etc.

I wrote in an earlier post the challenge for context lies in finding examples or points of discussion that few others would use. That's not to say the quality of your ideas/writing doesn't matter, but all that is acquired learning. Assessors like reading about interesting things. It breaks up the monotony of: 'Conflict occurs often in human history. This can be seen in WW2 when Hitler does this and then in Australia asylum seekers do that...' There's nothing intrinsically wrong with these examples, but you need to employ them in a creative manner. Boring them is the worst thing you can do.

For Conflict in particular I'd recommend the news as a vital source of essay fodder. We were given handouts on everything from the War in Syria to the Evolution "debate." There really is no shortage of potential discussion here, everything ties into conflict somehow. We turned it into a game, my friends would say 'coffee' and I'd say 'the debate between fair trade beans and regular, and the way the western world prioritises price over working conditions for our fellow man.' Yeah, we were the cool kids.  8)

Read the paper every morning if you can, or have a little news feed tab open to skim through in your spare time (this will help for L.A. and vocab building anyway) and start accumulating ideas now so that you'll have a wealth of concepts to draw from in the exam. Breadth and depth, say that like a chant in your head. Cover as much as you can, since you're meant to be commenting on universal truths here, but don't forget to explore your examples rather than just cramming them in. Breadth and depth, breadth and depth...
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: ~V on February 15, 2014, 08:01:49 pm
Hi Lauren,
Do you have a guide/structure to an oral presentation? This is for the SAC.
Thanks a bunch :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on February 15, 2014, 08:26:14 pm
Hi Lauren,
Do you have a guide/structure to an oral presentation? This is for the SAC.
Thanks a bunch :)

Not really.  :-\ Your structure will depend on your topic, and the number of arguments you have is entirely up to you. As a general rule, try to have a clear cut intro, 3/4 main points, and a well rounded conclusion. The structure isn't really assessed, unless you do it badly enough for it to be noticeable to the audience.
For some general-purpose tips check our this blog:
http://www.vcestudyguides.com/advice-for-a-oral-presentations
Otherwise if you need more specific help, let me know what your topic is, or PM me with what you've got so far.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: ~V on February 15, 2014, 10:54:11 pm
Yeah i get what you mean when theres not an actual structure like a text response or something. Thanks for link! I looked at the author's name and she did graduate from my school!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on February 19, 2014, 10:45:38 pm
Does this sound like an analysis (only one body paragraph) to you?

The British newspaper columnist, which is the fuel for most of The Australian's corrective viewpoints, is rebuked as publishers of "nonsense" and positioned as a naive group who are fast to "express outrage" but "little heard" when the Iraq War actually occurred. pretty long for an opening sentence, try to break this up, or have a more general topic sentence to start off (ie. just a general comment on tone, or whatever your paragraph will focus on) Through asserting that the columnist is publishing "delusional rhetoric", the columnist is relegated to an individual that publishes content that is melodramatic, hyperbolical and fictional. Therefore the readers are made to feel... or made to view the writers as...? Compounded by suggestions that the columnist is "not alone" in this saga, the reader is more easily appealed persuaded by the newspaper's contention that Wikileaks is a convenient scapegoat fabricated by the media. How? Why is this effective? Resultant of this, Wikileak's true contributions are unfairly overshadoweds.<--this is evaluation, not analysis  *This alludes to a broader cultural habit of media publications to create caricatural antagonists and protagonists to galvanise division within the community, with the ultimate aim of fuelling debate and increasing their own readership.* Thus, by acting as if it is shedding light to the true sentiments of media publications and proposing that a "reality check" on Wikileaks is needed, The Australian elevates itself as an objective publication that is contrary to its British counterpart. needs another sentence here too: how does a reader feel about this? What is this appealing to?

Dealing with inferences is a fine line to walk on. Some of this * sounds a little too much like evaluation of the issue, instead of an analysis of the article. You round it back eventually, and what you're writing is true, but you won't get any marks for a sentence like this. Your analysis of "deluded rhetoric" is excellent, do this about once a paragraph if you can; don't force it, but most articles will have some key words you can break down and analyse the connotations of.
You could do with mentioning one or two techniques though. I know it feels simplistic just to point out devices, but it is a requirement, so do get it out of the way so you can move into deeper analysis without compromising easy marks.
Analysing inferences really only works for certain articles, and it's usually a technique in itself. And implication (that is, what the author is suggesting) can be very different from inferences (what the reader interprets.) Since LA is about determining how language is used to persuade, your focus is on what the author is doing, not on audience interpretation or understanding.
Having said that, you do need to mention the effect on the reader. If you're not certain about structure, go back to the tried and tested TEE until you're confident to deviate. Technique, Explain/Elaborate Effect. Or maybe the order of Es is different, I don't know, most schools appropriate this so find whatever works for you.

Re: sorting paragraphs, by technique is very limiting, and by tone is incredibly difficult unless you get the right articles. Refer to my earlier post where I ramble about 'key players'/ another word for stakeholders for more.  To sum up, yes it's the closest I've come to a foolproof way of structuring LA essays. Though once or twice it hasn't worked, and I've had to fall back on chronological analysis, so try some other methods just to have up your sleeve. And you might find something completely different works better for you anyway :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Blondie21 on February 20, 2014, 09:23:24 pm
What is the best way to,identify the overall tone when analysing a text for language analysis?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on February 20, 2014, 11:42:46 pm
What is the best way to,identify the overall tone when analysing a text for language analysis?

Hmm. It's a skill that comes with practice, usually you'll have to listen for the 'voice' of the reader. Best way I can explain it is: if the text was being read aloud to you, how would it sound? Vitriolic/ sarcastic/ passionate? The answer is usually in the language used, or the way key players/ stakeholders are positioned.

English Language students probably have an advantage here, though it's easy enough to understand.
Note the difference between concrete nouns and abstract nouns. Concrete: basic things you can see/hear/touch (chair, pen, house). Abstract nouns are ones that can't be interpreted by the 5 main senses (eg. happiness, poverty, corruption) With these, the author is communicating ideas by association, appealing to certain emotions. Analyse the connotations since this is usually where subtle tonal changes are evident.

As a general rule, there are often short sentences or interjections like 'This is intolerable!' or 'How dare they?' that give the game away. ie. the tones here are outraged, infuriated, incredulous etc. Often the ability to comment on tone comes from having sufficient vocabulary to do so. Check my earlier post on helpful words for year 12 english, there's a good handout in there that lists the sort of vocab you should familiarise yourself with. It's by no means conclusive, and there are heaps of websites that list hundreds of adjectives to describe tone and getting to know this sort of stuff now is highly recommended.

In terms of how to identify overall tone, I'd say an adverb or two in the intro or first paragraph is sufficient; sometimes the tone is simply not important enough to warrant anything more. But as always with VCAA things are a tad trickier, tones will change throughout the body of writing, and the high level responses will notice these shifts instead of merely commenting on the general tone of the whole piece. Try to avoid blatant phrases like 'The author employs a dispassionate tone,' instead aim to use adjectives/adverbs, as this forces you to analyse instead of summarise, eg. 'The author vehemently decries the government while patriotically asserting our right to basic freedom.'
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Hannibal on February 27, 2014, 05:46:28 pm
Hey. Year 9 here :).

How do you suggest to improve my structure of essays and fluency of my writing? I tend to rely a lot on my plan because when I have to write on the spot I crumble under pressure. Love using complex vocabulary, and sometimes I take ages to write, as I want the words to fit in perfectly.

Also is writing practise essays a good way to improve English skills in general? If so, what type of essays... Text responses, persuasive writing, creative? What are the types you will be using for VCE?

Thanks for your time.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on February 27, 2014, 06:58:46 pm
Hi Hannibal,
It's perfectly fine to rely on a plan. Though it won't be assessed, some people take a good 15 minutes just to write out an extensive plan to outline their ideas, and can then churn out an essay in 45-50 minutes. It might help to develop a shorthand so that you're not wasting time by writing out names, titles, long words etc. Letters for the author and characters are usually sufficient, abbreviate the title and some of the key words in the prompt (eg. id&b for identity and belonging) As I said, the plan won't be looked at by assessors, so it only needs to make sense to you (though for year 9/10 they might give it a mark out of 10, or check that you've done one, ask your teacher if you're not sure.)
A lot of people don't feel comfortable writing off the top of their head, and that's fine. By the time you get to the exam, you probably will have covered the general type of prompts, or you'l have a starting structure that you can fall back on. (eg. for Language Analysis: 'Following the recent media coverage of__, author __ contends in his article __ that...') These can be good last resorts, but you should steer away from rote-learned/ formulaic responses.
Don't worry about taking ages to write, you have four years to fine-tune all that! In Year 12 you will have to write three essays in three hours, but at the start of the year I'd usually take three hours just for one.
It's great that you're already building up vocab, focus on that so that it'll become more familiar to you over the next few years. The assessors are always complaining about students who cram complex words in where thay don't belong, and encourage students to use the language at their disposal (ie. that they are already familiar with) rather than memorising some "big" words to try and impress. Eventually you'll notice ideas will come to you much easier because you'll have the language to deal with more sophisticate concepts.
For VCE there are 3 essay types:
Text Response also known as Section A, which you'll be familiar with.
Context or Section B: your school selects one of 4 general 'contexts' (eg. Conflict or Identity and Belonging,) then selects a text to use as a springboard for ideas. Basically unlike a Text Response where you are analysing the book/film directly, in Context you are using it as a basis for discussing the overall theme. This is where you can chose between persuasive, expository (normal essay) or creative writing.
and Language Analysis/ Section C. You might know this as a Media Journal or Article Analysis, each school has it's own lingo. You're given a persuasive text, usually from a newspaper though in the exam it's different, and you have to write an essay on how language is used to persuade the audience. I've put some samples up in earlier posts, or if you want more info you might want to look through some of the past exam papers and assessor's reports: http://www.vcaa.vic.edu.au/Pages/vce/studies/english/englishexams.aspx

For now, I'd suggest improving sentence structure and expression is all you should worry about. VCAA will be giving the English Study Design a revamp in 2015/16 (translation: the current system will probably change by the time you're in Year 12)
I guess if you're doing Language Analysis or an equivalent at school, try to get your head around that since the task doesn't really change much from yr 9 to 12, whereas T.R. essays will be marked by an entirely different criteria. Maybe practice some annotations or note-taking techniques.
Though since you're by far the youngest poster I've seen on here (kudos!) I'd say you have little to worry about at this stage :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Rishi97 on March 01, 2014, 11:52:15 am
Hey Lauren

Could you please explain the difference between "evoke" and "provoke"?
I want to use these words in my L.A but I'm having trouble deciphering the meaning for each.

Thanks in advance ;D
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on March 01, 2014, 03:50:20 pm
Hi Rishi,
Easiest way to remember it is:
You provoke a fight or conflict &
You evoke emotions.
Sometimes the two are interchangeable, but for the most part, 'provoke' is a lot stronger and more deliberate; the author is intentionally aggravating or nagging readers into submission. 'Evoke,' however, is a lot more subtle, and will probably be more useful to you for L.A. Evoking is like 'summoning forth' feelings/memories/ideas that are already present in a reader's mind. As opposed to instilling which is when an author creates a sense for the reader to feel.
eg. He provoked his friend into jumping the fence (like an instigation)
      His speech about dying children evoked strong emotions in me (because this sympathy was already there, it was just brought to the surface)
      My parents instilled a sense of discipline in my brother (because he wasn't respectful before)
There's also invoke which also means 'to bring up' but more in terms of calling upon certain ideals or rules, like appealing to a common desire to protect the vulnerable
eg. The author invokes our sense of obligation to help the less fortunate.

Think of it this way: to invoke the imagination, to provoke people's senses, and to evoke emotions.

However, 'provocative' and 'evocative' are essentially the same thing.
English huh?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Rishi97 on March 01, 2014, 04:17:09 pm
Thanks heaps Lauren
Wow.. and people say english is easy. :P
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: RazzMeTazz on March 03, 2014, 07:18:36 pm
Hi, I am in year11 and I feel like up till now I have not put in  much effort for English and now I realise how much it matters, except my essay writing skills are kind of just all over the place

I was wondering if you knew the different types of film response essay questions you may encounter ( Discuss, to what extent do you agree? etc.) and how to form a contention for these different types of essays!

I especially don't know how to write a "Discuss" type of essay

Thanks! :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on March 03, 2014, 08:39:09 pm
Hi, I am in year11 and I feel like up till now I have not put in  much effort for English and now I realise how much it matters, except my essay writing skills are kind of just all over the place

I was wondering if you knew the different types of film response essay questions you may encounter ( Discuss, to what extent do you agree? etc.) and how to form a contention for these different types of essays!

I especially don't know how to write a "Discuss" type of essay

Thanks! :)
Don't worry, you'll have heaps of time to learn the right techniques and approaches. I was screwing things up at this stage in Year 12, and it took me till second term to learn how to properly write a Language Analysis :p

The type of essay questions will tend to be either character/theme based, or based on an author's views and values. Occasionally you'l get one on the audience's interpretation, of on the structure of the text, but other than that, there isn't much variation. You may get quotes in the prompt too, in which case you'll have to determine its significance in relation to the question. The actual phrasing of the prompt (Discuss. Do you agree? etc.) is fairly unimportant, and they're all interchangeable.
There's little difference between: 'Stasiland is about good triumphing over evil. Discuss.' and 'Stasiland is about good triumphing over evil. To what extend do you agree?' In either case, you'll be discussing the key concepts and coming to some conclusion about your own opinions (ie. the extent to which you agree.)
In short, there is no "discuss" type of essay. Every essay you write should be a discussion!
You may have learnt something different throughout years 7-10, and by all means clarify with your teacher since a lot of schools have their own unique approaches, but from a VCE standpoint, don't get too hung up on whether the question is asking you to discuss or agree.
If you need help with a specific one, feel free to post it here and I can break down a sample plan for you :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: lucipho on March 04, 2014, 05:39:47 pm
Congrats on the score, it is truly amazing!  ;D Anyways, I was wondering if you have any tips for context pieces? I'm struggling to write them atm! WOuld it be possible if you posted some of your past works, so that we can see what a 50/50 English essay score looks like! If not, never mind (:
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: RazzMeTazz on March 04, 2014, 07:54:28 pm
Don't worry, you'll have heaps of time to learn the right techniques and approaches. I was screwing things up at this stage in Year 12, and it took me till second term to learn how to properly write a Language Analysis :p

The type of essay questions will tend to be either character/theme based, or based on an author's views and values. Occasionally you'l get one on the audience's interpretation, of on the structure of the text, but other than that, there isn't much variation. You may get quotes in the prompt too, in which case you'll have to determine its significance in relation to the question. The actual phrasing of the prompt (Discuss. Do you agree? etc.) is fairly unimportant, and they're all interchangeable.
There's little difference between: 'Stasiland is about good triumphing over evil. Discuss.' and 'Stasiland is about good triumphing over evil. To what extend do you agree?' In either case, you'll be discussing the key concepts and coming to some conclusion about your own opinions (ie. the extent to which you agree.)
In short, there is no "discuss" type of essay. Every essay you write should be a discussion!
You may have learnt something different throughout years 7-10, and by all means clarify with your teacher since a lot of schools have their own unique approaches, but from a VCE standpoint, don't get too hung up on whether the question is asking you to discuss or agree.
If you need help with a specific one, feel free to post it here and I can break down a sample plan for you :)


aww thankyou so much!! :) That helped me alot and gives me hope!! hahaha thankyou!!!
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR AMAZING SCORE!!! I can only hope to achieve a tiny bit of what you did :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on March 04, 2014, 08:03:03 pm
TEXT RESPONSE AND CONTEXT PRAC. ESSAYS HERE  :)
I've already put two of my Language Analysis up on this thread, and I've made another for Henry IV, but it's pretty quiet so I'll put one of my Text Responses here too.
Re: context, I've put a lot of hints in earlier posts so read through those, or let me know what style/form you're writing in or what texts/context you're studying if you need specific help.
I'll put one of my conflict essays here that was about an 18/20 I think ??? can't remember. All I know is I never wrote a 10/10 context piece until the exam. I had L.A. and T.R. under control, but Context was a much more gradual process for me. Sometimes it's just the luck of the draw with the prompts too; since the exam is worth 50% of the overall mark, a lot of students either get higher or lower study scores than what they deserve. If you cover enough ground with your practice essays, you should get to a stage where very little will surprise you.
Also, keep in mind there is no 50/50 essay. Not only are the SAC/exam marks standardised and moderated into oblivion, sometimes a 10/10 to one assesor will only be an 8/10 to another.
At the end of the year, each exam is marked by six different people, two per essay, plus another if the scores they give you are too far apart. In the end it's unlikely assessor-bias will be a big factor, but it can happen. I've been told for any top scorer, you'll find there's very little to separate the 45s from the 50s. Some just got luckier than others on the day  :-\
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: smile+energy on March 06, 2014, 06:58:47 am
Hi, Lauren
I’ve downloaded your LA attachment “structure a language analysis response”, that’s REALLY good. Thanks for that. And there are some points I don’t understand (I’m sorry, English is my second language, could you explain further for me?)
“Rather than having imbalanced paragraph lengths, body paragraphs can be structure by:
Different appeals and techniques
Positioning of different players
Chronological shifts in arguments”

 Is each of the body paragraph talk about all the three comparative articles or just one paragraph talk about one article?
Could you explain further regards to the three dot points you made? How can I group the techniques used in each articles?

If I get a single article to analyse, do I need to use the same approach as in “structuring a LA response” or a different structure for a single article analysis? If it’s different, can you show me in what ways?

What does the word 'player' means in LA?

If there is a visual, how can I analyse it in my LA piece? My teacher asked me to write in 7 steps: discuss the background info; object/subject; expressions; surroundings; dialogue; colour and response-the intended effect on readers. I did try it and I ended up having a long paragraph just for the visual. I really confused about it.

Oh, I’m really sorry for asking you lots of questions. I will strongly appreciate your help. Thanks in advance.  :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on March 06, 2014, 05:10:59 pm
Quote
“Rather than having imbalanced paragraph lengths, body paragraphs can be structure by:
Different appeals and techniques
Positioning of different players
Chronological shifts in arguments”

 Is each of the body paragraph talk about all the three comparative articles or just one paragraph talk about one article?
Could you explain further regards to the three dot points you made?
Basically you shouldn't have one paragraph per article. Because at the end of the year you won't get three news articles with visuals, you'll get something like a transcript of a speech with 'embedded visuals' (like a power point slide) or maybe a blog post with a few comments. There will always be some visual element you have to analyse, but don't rely on there being three/four separate texts.
Secondly, your paragraph lengths will be 'imbalanced.' Take the 2011 Exam for example: one blog post, three (I think :-\) comments from the public, and two photos. You can't just write one paragraph on the blog, one on each comment, then one on each picture. The blog post made up at least 75% of the information, so it should be about 75% of your focus in the essay. You can't have one super long paragraph on the blog, then some three or four liners on the brief comments.
Thirdly, it limits your analysis. Part of the task is to compare and contrast persuasive devices and appeals, which you can't do if you're dealing with each separately. You don't have to talk about all three in every paragraph, just make sure you have a point of comparison for each text somewhere in your essay.
Quote
How can I group the techniques used in each articles?
What does the word 'player' means in LA?
There is no official requirement, from VCAA or teachers, though some advocate their own personal preference. My recommendation is that you structure by 'key players'. (Some schools call these 'stakeholders' or 'involved parties,' whatever.) These are the main people/groups/things/ideas that are involved in the issue. For example, pretend you're analysing a news story about the government making mathematics mandatory for Year 12. The players would be: the government, the schools/teachers/community, the students, and mathematics itself. Remember- the 'players' don't have to be people. They can be objects, places, ideas, proposals, roads, countries, the media... pretty much anything.
Once you've identified the main players and grouped them into 3 or 4 categories, then you have to work out what each author is trying to say about these players, or what they want us to think about them. For example, we might have one article with the contention: 'Maths is a waste of time for students who know they don't need it, the government shouldn't be intervening.' This author therefore wants us to view the government as meddlesome, annoying, and a hindrance to education. Whereas the children are intelligent people who are capable of making their own decisions. And maths is an unnecessary 'waste of time.'
Then there's a second article that contends: 'Maths is vital for children to open their minds, and can further their careers. The government is doing the right thing by giving children the best possible education.' In this case, the government are a force for good, the children are too young and naive to know better, and maths is a very important part of our mental development.
So your first paragraph might deal with how the two authors deal with school children, and why one might chose to portray them as impressionable innocents and the other might suggest they are mature young adults. Then you might talk about mathematics in the next paragraph, and how the authors position it. Then the government, etc. etc.
Quote
If there is a visual, how can I analyse it in my LA piece? My teacher asked me to write in 7 steps: discuss the background info; object/subject; expressions; surroundings; dialogue; colour and response-the intended effect on readers. I did try it and I ended up having a long paragraph just for the visual.
It depends on the visual, but this seems like a pretty safe formula. Sometimes the colour won't be important, or the surroundings won't need discussing, so you don't have to go into detail about all 7. As a general rule, try to work out the contention of the image, and what players are involved, then you should be able to incorporate it in with your other paragraphs, rather than dealing with it separately.

Maybe check with your teacher and see if you can get some practice essays, and note their different structures.
Also: DISCLAIMER, like I said earlier, this isn't foolproof, it's not a perfect approach that will work every time. You should have some other options, even if it is just 'chronological shifts in argument' or going through each piece in order, since you might get something tricky with only one player, or with 20 different ones :P
Hope that helps :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: smile+energy on March 06, 2014, 08:13:47 pm
Thank you very much :D
That's VERY HELPFUL.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: M_BONG on March 07, 2014, 09:44:51 pm
Hey!

Can you please read through my practice lang. analysis piece?
I know I have asked for help from you a lot in the past; you've been a great help and so I don't expect you to spend too much time on this ( you don't even need to edit it or anything - just general feedback/score would help!)

http://www.theage.com.au/comment/how-to-fix-our-problem-with-indonesia-20140303-33z49.html
“How to fix our problems with Indonesia” Hugh White, The Age 3 Mar 2013

       Australia’s worsening relationships with Indonesia has generated widespread concerns that instability in bilateral relationships could lead to larger repercussions if the conflict is not resolved. By appearing didactic, measured and assuring, Hugh White’s opinion article “How to fix our problems with Indonesia” published in The Age on the 3rd of March 2013 outlines in an enumerated, logical format ways to rectify the conflict. White contends that a proactive approach entailing modesty, maturity and sincerity is required by the Australian government, to solve the issue.
   The Australian government is positioned by White as stubborn, immature and unreasonable in its approach towards the Indonesian conflict. Its apathy and lack of vision for solving the issue is highlighted when White asserts that the government acts with “unshakable faith”, words which connote a sense of stubbornness, naivety and an acute sense of the government deliberately ignoring the well-intentioned opinions of individuals like himself. This is compounded with predictions that the current approach would only “deepen” the “rift”, directly attributing the blame on the government, White suggests that there is a reason and cause for Indonesia’s reaction. It is suggested that it is Australia’s insistent denial that a “problem exists” and “avoiding serious” discussions which has provoked such an inflamed reaction from Indonesia. When compounded with evocative idioms such as the government insisting on “stick[ing] to their guns” White engenders a serious lack of plan by the government. Through “avoiding” the real issue, the government is also relegated as a timid, passive and immature group. Berating and belittling the government’s efforts, the government’s failure to address the issue in a serious, practical and conciliatory manner is augmented. The reader is consequently reminded of its right to feel angered, embarrassed and puzzled at the government’s current course of action and be more easily convinced that Australia needs to take the first step to "solve the problem" with Indonesia.
   Having cemented the problems of the government, White implores the readership to accept his proposition that serious, mature and proactive policies need to be adopted. The proliferation of action verbs such as “need to show that”, “treat”, “step back” and “acknowledge” collectively, enables White to encourage the government to be proactive in its approach. It also indirectly serves as a bitter disapproval or criticism of the current government’s passive inactions. By suggesting that the “simple truth” is to treat Indonesia with “respect” White rebukes the government for not acting in a way that it deems to be unequivocally straightforward, decent or reasonable. Engendering a cause-and-effect, White implies that it is completely justified for Indonesia to be “offended” and have its “[feathers… ruffled]”. White suggests that Indonesia is not overreacting and Australia deserves an inflammatory and hostile reaction from Indonesia since the Australian government has been insincere, "dismissive" or unconvincing in solving the problems. In doing so, White placates any blame or hostility by its readership on Indonesia and suggests that the real blame or problem lies in Australia’s government. By severely reducing the credibility of the Australian government, the reader is more susceptible to White’s contention that the first step in repairing this bilateral relationship needs to start with Australia. Moreover, by suggesting that the Australian government is paying “political dividends” if it acts graciously, White overtly suggests that Australia stands to gain from solving the conflict. “Dividend” which clearly means an investment suggests to the reader that the government needs to act with the long-term in mind. It also incentivises the reader - that an urgent need to solve the problem exists since an "important relationship" exists with Indonesia.
   By engaging in a didactic approach, where White first contextualises and identifies the problem in the government’s current approach, the reader is more susceptible to White’s viewpoints that a change in government attitude is required. By establishing an inadequacy exists, White is ultimately more able to propose to his reader that  a mature, proactive and conciliatory approach is required by the government to solve the Indonesian conflict.

6/3/2014


Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on March 08, 2014, 09:12:00 am
       Australia’s worsening relationships with Indonesia has generated widespread concerns that instability in bilateral relationships could lead to larger repercussions if the conflict is not resolved. By appearing didactic, measured and assuring, Hugh White’s opinion article “How to fix our problems with Indonesia” published in The Age on the 3rd of March 2013 outlines in an enumerated, logical format ways to rectify the conflict. White contends that a proactive approach entailing modesty, maturity and sincerity is required by the Australian government, to solve the issue.
   The Australian government is positioned by White as stubborn, immature and unreasonable in its approach towards the Indonesian conflict. Its apathy and lack of vision for solving the issue is highlighted when White asserts that the government acts with “unshakable faith”, words which connote a sense of stubbornness, naivety and an acute sense of the government deliberately ignoring the well-intentioned opinions of individuals like himself. This is compounded with predictions that the current approach would only “deepen” the “rift”, directly attributing the blame on the government, White suggests that there is a reason and cause for Indonesia’s reaction. It is suggested that it is Australia’s insistent denial that a “problem exists” and “avoiding serious” discussions which has provoked such an inflamed reaction from Indonesia. When compounded with evocative idioms such as the government insisting on “stick[ing] to their guns” White engenders a serious lack of plan bit clunky, 'engenders' is usually for reader's emotions of reactions eg. 'engenders a sense of disappointment in the government's incompetence...' by the government. Through “avoiding” the real issue, the government is also relegated as to a timid, passive and immature group. Berating and belittling the government’s efforts, and? the government’s failure to address the issue in a serious, practical and conciliatory manner is augmented. The reader is consequently reminded of its their right to feel angered, embarrassed and puzzled at the government’s current course of action and be more easily convinced that Australia needs to take the first step to "solve the problem" with Indonesia. Excellent paragraph
   Having cemented the problems of the government, White implores the readership to accept his proposition that serious, mature and proactive policies need to be adopted. The proliferation of action verbs such as “need to show that”, “treat”, “step back” and “acknowledge” collectively enables White to encourage the government to be proactive in its approach. It also indirectly serves as a bitter disapproval or criticism of the current government’s passive inactions. By suggesting that the “simple truth” is to treat Indonesia with “respect” White rebukes the government for not acting in a way that it deems to be unequivocally straightforward, decent or reasonable. Engendering a cause-and-effect relationship, White implies that it is completely justified for Indonesia to be “offended” and have its “[feathers… ruffled]”. White suggests that Indonesia is not overreacting and Australia deserves an inflammatory and hostile reaction from Indonesia since the Australian government has been insincere, "dismissive" or unconvincing in solving the problems. In doing so, White placates any blame or hostility by its readership on Indonesia and suggests that the real blame or problem lies in Australia’s government. By severely reducing the credibility of the Australian government, the reader is more susceptible to White’s contention that the first step in repairing this bilateral relationship needs to start with Australia. Moreover, by suggesting that the Australian government is paying “political dividends” if it acts graciously, White overtly suggests that Australia stands to gain from solving the conflict. “Dividend” which clearly means an investment suggests to the reader that the government needs to act with the long-term in mind. It also incentivises the reader - that an urgent need to solve the problem exists since an "important relationship" exists with Indonesia. ditto^
   By engaging in a didactic approach, where White first contextualises and identifies the problem in the government’s current approach, the reader is more susceptible to White’s viewpoints that a change in government attitude is required. By emphasising their inadequacy, establishing an inadequacy exists, White is ultimately more able to propose to his reader that  a mature, proactive and conciliatory approach is required by the government to solve the Indonesian conflict.

Very Good overall, I can't see any assessor giving this any less than full marks. Your analysis is focused and flows logically, you're adept at dealing with connotations, tone, and effects on the reader. You could do more with persuasive devices though. I've gone back and searched and I can't find more than two examples of actual devices you've mentioned. I know it can feel redundant to simply state: 'The use of rhetorical question makes the readers...' so you can work it in more subtly eg. 'The author rhetorically questions the government's actions...'
It's worth a really small percentage of the marks, but you might get a marker who insists upon an overt mention of some persuasive techniques. A lot of yours are indirect or implied, and that's fine; you're clearly beyond the basic TEEL format anyway, so there's no need to state the device every time. Just make sure you mention it every so often to do justice to the rest of your analysis.
It's also a little on the short side. (I'd estimate under 700 words) I know it's only one article, so maybe try and find another to link in (an image maybe) to practice comparative analysis. In the exam you should be aiming for 800+ words with emphasis on the + if you're looking at top marks. Obviously this isn't something you need to be too concerned about now, it's better to get your structural strategies sorted first anyway. But try to stretch yourself to three paragraphs if you can.
Hope that helps,
If you can get your Context and T.R. essays up to this standard you'll be cruising for a very high score at the end of the year :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Yacoubb on March 08, 2014, 09:47:24 am
Hey lauren9460,

Could you check if my introduction is good for this T.R. essay?

Despite his mean and miserable ways, we never completely dislike Scrooge. Discuss.
Set in Charles Dickens' bleak microcosm of Victorian England, A Christmas Carol presents the reader with a "covetous" Scrooge, who is "hard and sharp as flint". Throughout his journey to redemption, Dickens demonstrates that his protagonist is not innately evil, soothing the reader's distaste for Scrooge. Furthermore, an insight into the bitter old man's past enables the reader to sympathise with him. Yet initially, the reader is presented with no reasons to fancy his character.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on March 08, 2014, 10:17:41 am
Quote
Set in Charles Dickens' bleak microcosm of Victorian England, A Christmas Carol presents the reader with a "covetous" Scrooge, who is "hard and sharp as flint". Throughout his journey to redemption, Dickens demonstrates that his protagonist is not innately evil, soothing the reader's distaste for Scrooge perhaps a few words here about how this is achieved, to signpost later arguments ie. 'soothing the reader's distaste for Scrooge through Dickens' portrayal of his {characteristic} and/or {action}.'. Furthermore, an insight into the bitter old man's past enables the reader to sympathise with him. Yet initially, the reader is presented with no reasons to fancy his character.
Perfectly functional intro, you've set up your arguments well. It's hard to comment beyond that without reading the whole essay, but I'd say this is an excellent start :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Yacoubb on March 08, 2014, 10:26:26 am
Perfectly functional intro, you've set up your arguments well. It's hard to comment beyond that without reading the whole essay, but I'd say this is an excellent start :)

Thanks :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Paulrus on March 08, 2014, 06:08:01 pm
hey, i was wondering, would it be inappropriate to reference philosophy in a text response essay to support your argument? for example, on last year's exam there was a prompt for war poems about how his poems cause the audience to focus more on the living than the dead. if you were to include a paragraph towards the end along the lines of:

'Owen's poetry can also be considered to blur the lines between the living and the dead by entertaining the notion that the two do not necessarily inhabit different worlds, implying that they are not mutually exclusive. His poetry reflects the Cartesian dualistic view that the mind and body exist as separate entities, illustrating the way in which the fundamental essence of who the soldier once was can die, though they remain physically unscathed. The soldiers in 'Mental Cases' have been reduced to 'purgatorial shadows' who 'sit here in twilight'; unrecognisable shells of their former selves who exist in a void between life and death. Their teeth 'leer like skull's teeth wicked', with this simile representing how they have been stripped down to the most basic form of being human, leaving behind 'set-smiling corpses' whose past selves have effectively died. Owen's considered word choice in the phrase 'Esprit de corps' compounds this imagery of emptiness, with its aesthetic similarity to the English 'spirit' and 'corpse' symbolising the death of the soldiers' identities.'

and so on using other evidence/poems. is it acceptable to refer to that kind of outside source, as long as it doesn't form the basis of an argument and you have the evidence to back it up? i haven't really seen it in text response so i'm not sure whether examiners would have a problem with it.
 thank you very much for your help! :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Summers on March 08, 2014, 06:51:05 pm
Hi,

I'm fairly good at English, just not what the VCAA wants from me. This is my first bit of a text response that I've done ever (outside of a test). I'm not really sure how to approach the actual SAC but I'm planning on attempting to basically memorise 6 of my essays and two of them can be the SAC prompt. Regardless, could you please read my first little bit - I'm not really sure if I'm actually answering the question or what I'm doing, I just started writing and madly looking for quotes (which took a long time).

‘There father! There, Achilles! You are avenged!’ How does Ransom suggest that there are more noble characteristics than the ability and desire to kill.’

The novel Ransom by David Malouf, which was based on the novel ‘The Illiad,’ suggests that there is little reverence to be upheld for a person who can take a life rather than a being that can epitomise a life with reason. The Illiad was written centuries before Ransom in a period where warfare or death in battle was glorified with honour and pride, but times have changed and morals have modernised. (UNFINISHED - Don't really know how to write text response).

Few men exercised their sovereign right to take life as habitually as Achilles, ‘the most formidable’ of the Greeks. Achilles was an ostentatious warrior that ‘was born to be a fighter’ and exemplifies the interior hopelessness of ‘a man obeying the needs of some other, darker agency.’ This demi-god who reaps trepidation from his foe ‘eased the heavy weapon in[to]’ Hector in an intimate battle as an act of vengeance upon Patroclus’ death and  ‘felt his soul change colour,’ exploring the dehumanising, psychological impact that accompanies instigating entrance to death. Even Achilles was only as strong as his heel, both physically and mentally. Warriors share a sacred bond in battle, yet Achilles was ‘like a man under instruction from his daemon’ and even his own men began to question the actions of their leader whom is accustomed to ‘bursts of violence’ as he began to desecrate Hector’s body. Malouf describes Achilles own realm as ‘the rough world of men’ that highlights pain, loss and futility due to his attachment in seeking death. Although Achilles killed Hector, the man who took Patroclus’ from him, ‘it is never enough’ to compensate the life of his cousin which ‘torments him.’ As a result, Achilles portrays few characteristics of what makes a person human, yet has innumerable idiosyncrasies surrounding death and despair which appears flagitious. 


Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on March 08, 2014, 07:37:25 pm
Paul,
That's fine! Keep in mind you won't get much credit for external evidence (unlike a Context piece) but if you feel it adds to the discussion then it's alright to have a one or two line reference. Just make sure you're linking back to the text constantly, or else you do run the risk of examiners penalising you for going too far off topic. As you say, provided you have evidence and are using the text as your base, not some other work, you should be safe. The example you gave there was well done though, and the philosophical idea you mentioned is both relevant and interesting :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on March 08, 2014, 07:59:07 pm
Summers,
You do write well, but that's only a small part of what VCAA is looking for :P It's the relevance and the quality/sophistication of your ideas that will be a more influential factor in determining your mark, though ultimately your writing ability is going to help a lot. I'd recommend you check out the attachment I put on the 1st/2nd page of this thread about how to structure and respond to prompts. There's also a section at the bottom that deals with the different prompt types. This one here is a 'structural' question, (since it contains the word 'How' pretty much) which means you need to discuss the text as a construct. HOW does the author use certain characters to support this assertion? HOW does the structure/form/plot/pacing/symbolism/any feature of the text work to support the prompt?
Your introduction is an excellent start, and dealing with the different values of Malouf's audience as opposed to Homer's is a great idea. You'd probably need another sentence or two in order to 'signpost' your key arguments, or at least expand upon some possible points of discussion. After that, a good tip for T.R. is to make yourself write the author's name. By saying 'Malouf makes the reader feel...' or 'Malouf's use of...' you're forcing yourself to analyse instead of just summarise.
Your first paragraph is also very good, though you're on the border of quoting to summarise. It's good that you're using so much evidence, but at times it lapses into retelling the story.
It seems like you know what you're doing, even if it is only subconsciously :P I had a similar problem in L.A. I'd be getting fairly god marks, but I didn't know WHAT I was doing right.
What VCAA wants of you is to answer the question. But the technical name for this form of essay is 'expository' meaning you're exposing new ideas. Supposedly you use this prompt as an outline, and then you argue for a certain reading or interpretation of the text. What worked for me in this regard was to reduce my analysis to a couple of simple words. In this case, I'd have to decide whether I thought there were more noble characteristics, and then try and find 3 or 4 key ways Ransom establishes these characteristics.
Something you might find helpful is to question as much as you can.
eg.
Eventually you'll get to a stage where these questions will occur naturally, and your analysis will reflect this critical interpretational writing. If you're struggling for ideas it might be worth doing some wider reading (other student's essays, Ransom or otherwise, academic journals/theses, the actual Illiad if you're feeling ambitious :P or perhaps just an article on its portrayal of nobility as a contrast) Obviously, as with the below inquiry, this can't be the basis for an entire piece, and you won't get any credit for quoting an external source, but it can point you in the direction of some more interesting discussion than the VCAA basics.
If you need help with the actual criteria for assessment, check with your teacher about school-specific stuff, and just google VCAA Text Response Criteria. It's terribly verbose but it should give a general indication of that is expected :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Summers on March 08, 2014, 08:26:05 pm
Thanks, all of that really helped. (EDIT: Just looked and I can't actually find the text response techniques. I found one that I think was for context, and some hyperlinks don't work for some reason on my MAC.)

I'll download that thing you mentioned on page 2 or whatever and see if that helps. What my main problem is that I don't really know how to deconstruct a prompt properly and respond to it with in-depth details. For that prompt of ...
‘There father! There, Achilles! You are avenged!’ How does Ransom suggest that there are more noble characteristics than the ability and desire to kill.’

 I can honestly say I had no idea what I was meaning to respond to. My teacher said to focus on 'metalanguage' (whatever that is I'm a spastic) for the 'how' and then I have no idea what else, so basically no idea for everything :D If it were me I'd simply write 3 paragraphs addressing something like the positives of love and legacy (one paragraph each) in comparison to the ability and desire to kill (one paragraph) a person, which would be me sort of contrasting the two but that isn't right because I'd only be focusing on one idea. I'm supposed to be able to integrate multiple themes and eloquently write within the matter of 55-60 minutes and I don't really know how; I've basically been on par with borderline failing English in former years, yet people who can't even string a sentence together without innumerable imperfections score highly.

'It's the relevance and the quality/sophistication of your ideas that will be a more influential factor in determining your mark.' I'm not sure if you are informed or adept with Ransom, but I'll just hope you are for the sake of me trying to improve :P Let me pretend I think 'love' is the most noble characteristic that Malouf explores in the text, I'd probably say something along the lines of that with a touch of sophistication as a topic sentence. Then I'd say something like this is evident with Somax who exemplifies his love for his children who have passed. I could stop here, or I could continue to string crap out that is basically altering what I'm saying by the slightest in a new sentence, just adding wider meaning to what I've already said. For example, he shows this when prattling with Priam when he is so disheartened when his daughter-in-law gets sick and wish he was in her position etc. How could I formulate my next idea which my teacher is pushing me into doing, for example, Hecuba's love for Hector into the same paragraph? This is where I go wrong in text response because I simply don't understand. I wish I could write like 6 sentences per paragraph and be done, and have some formulaic writing to it.

Like aforementioned, the storytelling of a published book that I did for my first paragraph because I'm an uncoordinated loon took me FOREVER, like an hour to find quotes and write it and it basically has no conceptual ideas to it. It took me ages to continue writing my next paragraph so I basically gave up and wrote like 250-300 words in 2-3 minutes because I hate this. I'm a bit worried because my SAC is on Monday week and I have countless other SACS I also have to focus on (cram).

:( I wish I was more adept with English.

EDIT: The rest of my essay. You'll realise I have absolutely no 'ideas' behind what I'm writing - it is a piece of shieeet.


The vexatious of murder is explored through Priam’s role of boar hunting. Priam was ‘symbolically as the centre’ of the boar hunting but ‘could have no part in the merely physical business’ as it was ‘his duty to maintain and make shine.’ The visual imagery of murder that is portrayed, such as ‘a ton of steaming flesh and bone waiting to be hacked’ entails the vivid depths that killing has on a man, whether human or lower on the food chain. Priam ‘could have no part in the merely physical business’ or killing the boar for this reason as it polarises men from their fundamental characteristics of being human, yet ‘a little of the beast’s thick blood [was] smeared on his brow,’ being symbolic of his strength to conquer this animal as ‘the realm of the royal was representational.’

The lower orders of creation can often teach the most virtous elementary principles to men..Ransom is a Bildungsroman of sorts, as King Priam was a being that lived through the transition of slavery to royalty and was searching for the catalyst for him becoming a man which is found through a carter. Somax was ‘a bearded, shaggy-headed fellow’ that was representative of an ‘ordinary man’ throughout Ransom and leads Priam in an adventure outside the walls of Troy. Somax teaches Priam the lessons of being a man through the ‘chatter’ that ‘was of no use’ which was atypical for Priam, coming from a world where ‘a man only spoke to give shape to a decision he had come to…’ Through the simple ‘prattling’ of the men, Priam learnt about love and humility that was elusive to him, and also regret and life was now ‘curious’ and of ‘interest’ to him. Both men had lost children, and Somax relates to Priam when he ‘closed his fist and brought it to his chest to indicate the heart,’ exemplifying that worrying for the health of children ‘is in our nature.’ However, the men also shared experience with regret and not doing the right thing by their children, demonstrated by Somax ‘open[ing] his (son) lip with my fist’ which had the affect of Priam feeling more human through relation of mistakes as he had no close relation with his children. In turn, Priam feels less like a man detached from humanity, and is willing and excited to engage more in life.


Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Paulrus on March 08, 2014, 08:52:02 pm
thank you so much for your help lauren! your advice in this topic is nothing short of amazing, thank you heaps :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Blondie21 on March 09, 2014, 01:03:35 pm
Hey Lauren,

WOW! Your advice on this forum has helped me so much so thank you! However, I am still struggling with writing a high scoring piece for language analysis. I had my first SAC and probably achieved a 'C'.. so I definetely want and need to improve!!

If you have time, I would really appreciate some feedback for my language analysis. This is the article: http://www.theage.com.au/comment/the-age-editorial/this-sodden-angry-culture-has-to-change-20140123-31bn1.html

Australia’s infamous alcohol-fuelled violence incidents, such as Thomas Kelly’s “tragic” death, have generated widespread concerns as to whether or not a new legislation should be implemented in an attempt to reduce the amount of alcohol-fuelled attacks. By appealing didactic, measured and logical, the editorial “This sodden, angry culture has to change” (The Age, January 24th 2014) contends to the responsible, older adults of Australia that the Premier’s proposed laws will be ineffective as alcohol abuse is the major problem in Australia. The editor aims to persuade their readership that the only way for a decline in alcohol consumption is through cultural change and emphasises the possibility due to the rapid decline of tobacco usage.


The editor asserts that although the Premier is planning to implement a plethora of restrictions to reduce alcohol-fuelled violence, they will be futile. The predominant factor influencing the attacks is the mindset of the individuals who are voluntarily becoming excessively drunk. The editor lists the measures of the Premier’s plans, such as “mandatory 10pm closing times” in order to criticise those who do not believe that “alcohol abuse” is in fact the major “condition” prompting the audience to recognise that Barry O’Farrell’s plan would be ineffective in decreasing the amount of attacks in the country, thus reducing his credibility as he has ignored that Australia is one of the “more drunken cultures” in the world, The editor complements the barbaric actions of the drunk with a photograph of an intoxicated man, with the words “for instant idiot, just add alcohol” sprawled across his face. The editor is positioning the readership to acknowledge the behaviour of the “idiot(s)” as the photograph highlights that this is the mental and health state that many perpetrators of alcohol-fuelled violence are in during the attacks. The audience would be more inclined to agree that the “complex” and “critical” problem of alcohol abuse must be suppressed in order for a decrease in violence to occur, exemplifying that the closing times would have no impact and that O’Farrell’s proposal would be unproductive. By utilising the evidence that “26 percent” of Australians admit to consuming alcohol in order to “put their health at serious risk,” the audience would be more susceptible to agree that many attacks within Australia are caused by the careless, inebriated individuals who have no regard for their health. Hence, the audience are positioned to recognise that alcohol intoxication is the reason the violence and thus the proposed laws are “clearly not working.”

Having cemented that alcohol intoxication is the predominant factor causing the violence in Australia; the editor explains the consequences of alcohol and the implementations the medical association have proposed. The editor sways the reader to recognise the disastrous ramifications of alcohol intoxication, even though many fail to admit their own consumption, proved by the editor questioning whether the results are the “truth.” This promotes the reader to recognise the public’s naivety towards their own alcohol consumption and their ignorance is causing “damage” which is “extensive and costly.” The readership is positioned to recognise that the community’s lack of knowledge can be altered and improved with a cultural change and proper education in order to expose the dangerous ramifications which occur. The many ramifications of alcohol such as “breast cancer,” “heart disease,” and the possibility of “mental illness” would frighten the reader, who would be more inclined to then agree that their own amount of alcohol consumption must be reduced. The editor also promotes the audience to inform their own families and friends of the dangerous effects of alcohol in order to reduce the health factors which are caused by alcohol. The Medical Association has “urged” the government to agree to the “essential” approach, enforcing the importance of reducing the amount of alcohol consumption. The highly credible opinion of the Medical Association would sway the audience to agree with their suggestion, do to their valuable knowledge of health. Hence, the editor hopes that by informing the audience of the many health factors and dangerous consequences, the readership would agree to the AMA’s proposal to reduce the “epidemic” of alcohol consumption.


The editor vehemently asserts the need to reduce the amount of alcohol consumption and the need for a cultural change. The author inclusively groups the audience by implying that “we cannot afford” to continue the current perception of “leisure time” in Australia. This promotes that the editor is an ordinary member of the community, encouraging the readership to agree with a fellow neighbour. In addition, as this highlights community members are affected by the alcohol consumption in the community, the audience are positioned to perceive that they also play a critical role in reducing the alcohol-fuelled violence due to the need for a cultural reform. The editor outlines the many failed attempts of preventing violence such as “several summits” and “discussion papers” even though the “problem still persists” The audience would be are aware that the government has failed to acknowledge that the core of the violence is alcohol abuse and thus proves that a cultural change would be the most beneficial solution The editor asserts only a “cultural change” will impact on the amount of violence in the country, implicitly suggesting to the audience that once the public become more informed with an “extensive and effective education,” there will be a decline in alcohol intoxication and thus alcohol-fuelled violence, further enforcing the benefits of a change in the culture surrounding alcohol. Hence, the editor evokes the readership to understand the importance of cultural change and the overall benefits.


The editor concludes their piece by asserting that the success of the decline in smoking can act as an incentive to reduce the amount of alcohol consumption in Australia. The editor praises the country for “succeeding in that way” against tobacco, highlight that a cultural change had caused the fewer smokers in Australia, promoting the audience to agree within the proposal as cultural change is evidently achievable and has proven results. The editor complements the need for a cultural reform with two cartoons depicting a cigarette and wine glass with large crosses over both of them. The readership are positioned to recognise the well-known symbol of  the no-smoking icon and believe that with cultural change, the wine cartoon being crossed out may also become a well-known within society. The editor is leaves the audience with the simple message that like smoking, alcohol consumption can also decrease if the same approach is undertaken. Henceforth, the audience are inclined to recognise that a cultural change must occur for a reduction of violence within Australia.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Phanboy on March 10, 2014, 05:16:47 pm
Hey, just some quick questions :)
I've never been good at Context writing, most of the time I'm writing in a essay format expository piece and my scores have been ~ D's, but my tutor has decided for me to start using an expository-personal format (eg. letter, speech) even though I have told him I'm far worse at imaginative.

First of all,
(1)Is this still considered an expository or an imaginative piece?
(2)Do you think it's in my best interest to pick this up? (I'm in year 12 by the way)
Thanks
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: cute on March 10, 2014, 05:27:17 pm
Hi Lauren :)

I'm really struggling with honing my skills with my text response essays. If you could please have a read through this and give me advice, that would be so great. My teacher says that I need to hone my skills because I am already well-structured and articulate, but I'm not sure how to do that exactly haha.

Thank you :)


“I was learning that Baba had been a thief. And a thief of the worst kind, because the things he had stolen had been sacred.” Baba’s actions in The Kite Runner are more damaging than any of Amir’s. Discuss.

In Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner, the actions of both Baba and Amir are portrayed as destructive in nature, but ultimately, the reader is able to see Amir as a less damaging character due to his atonement and consequent redemption. By highlighting Baba’s failure to act and his betrayal of his homeland, Hosseini illustrates Baba in a cowardly and disloyal way. While it may be argued that Amir’s actions were far more damaging than any of Baba’s, Baba’s actions while raising Amir caused him to act in a negative way.
 
In The Kite Runner, it is often the case that a characters failure to act can prove to be more damaging than any of their actions. In the case of Amir, it is his failure to defend Hassan during the rape that proves the most damaging, but in the case of Baba it is his failure to atone for his actions. Although Baba’s actions alone are not considered as damaging as Amir’s, the mere fact that Amir tried to redeem himself after his poor decisions shows responsibility and integrity and allowed him to finally feel “healed”. While the beating he took from Assef left his body “broken”, he was able to laugh because he had finally atoned. Baba, on the other hand, failed to atone for the way he raised his son. His high expectations and lack of affection caused Amir to feel the need to “sacrifice for Baba”, which directly resulted in him considering the blue kite of higher value than Hassan. Baba never let Amir know that he was good enough, and this proved to be detrimental to his moral standings at a young age. While Baba did not directly cause the rape, his actions were more damaging in the scheme of things than Amir’s were.

The theme of loyalty and betrayal is prevalent in The Kite Runner, as it illustrates the transition of Afghanistan from a country of beauty to a country of destruction and war. It would be unreasonable to claim that Baba was the direct cause of Afghanistan’s demise, but the people who fled Afghanistan were significant symbolic contributors to the loss of their homeland. Baba fled as soon as he realised that his “way of life had ended” in Afghanistan. He was acting in a responsible way in terms of what his son needed, but in other ways he was leaving his country to fend for itself. He not only left his country, he robbed his son of his homeland. Kabul was not the same, “you couldn’t trust anyone”, but the significance and importance of “standing up” for his country in its time of need seemingly overrules leaving in terms of importance. This further proves the damaging effect that Baba’s actions have throughout the novel, especially in terms of the country of which he originates.

There are several father-son relationships illustrated in The Kite Runner which explore the various ways that you are able to raise your son. While it can be argued that Baba is a positive influence on how Amir acts by encouraging him to “stand up for himself”, his cold and distant treatment towards Amir’s choices early in life causes him to feel inadequate. This, in turn, causes Amir to sacrifice Hassan to Assef and the bullies to impress his father.  If Baba was a more loving and accepting father, Amir would never have felt the need to “win Baba” and he would not have had to symbolically “slay” Hassan in the way that one would slay a “lamb”.  This then caused Amir to feel the need to hide his deception of Hassan, which eventually led to Hassan’s death. This behaviour was indirectly destructive, but it was destructive nonetheless.

While Amir’s behaviour is destructive in its own right, Baba’s is significantly more destructive overall. By examining the way that Amir attempts to atone for his wrongs, his betrayal of his homeland and the way he raises his legitimate son all illuminate the significance of his negative actions throughout the text and how they are more damaging than Amir’s.

Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on March 10, 2014, 10:08:25 pm
Summers,
First of all, don't concern yourself with time. Not yet anyway. This time last year, it would have taken me 3-4 hours to write an essay too, but after so many SACs and practice exams, I whittled it down to about 50 minutes for each depending on the prompt. It might be worth looking through some study guides to see what Text Response actually entails. I could explain it here, but it'd take a whole page and I'm sure there are better qualified people who've got better jargon than I :P
And don't be afraid to go to your teachers either. It's more common than you think, to get to year 12 and not have a clue what you're meant to be doing in English. Unfortunately years 7-10 or even 11 are only vaguely geared towards the sort of skills you'll need for this year. There's no shame is starting from the basics, it's what I had to do around about this time last year :)
The vexations of murder is are explored through Priam’s role of boar hunting. Priam was ‘symbolically as the centre’ of the boar hunting but ‘could have no part in the merely physical business’ as it was ‘his duty to maintain and make shine.’ The visual imagery of murder that is portrayed, such as ‘a ton of steaming flesh and bone waiting to be hacked’ entails the vivid depths that killing has on a man, whether human or lower on the food chain. Priam ‘could have no part in the merely physical business’ no need to repeat the quote, wither cut it from above or paraphrase here or killing the boar for this reason as it polarises men from their fundamental characteristics of being human, yet ‘a little of the beast’s thick blood [was] smeared on his brow,’ being symbolic of his strength to conquer this animal as ‘the realm of the royal was representational.’ This could easily be dismissed as summary, you need to do more with the text as a construct! This is a key element of VCAA criteria; rather than commentating on the characters inside the world of the text, consider them all as devices used by the author. The plot, setting, pacing, symbols, and dialogue are all deliberate decisions made by the author. The question you have to answer is 'for what purpose?' How can these decisions relate to the implications of the prompt?

The lower orders of creation can often teach the most virtous elementary principles to men. Ransom is a bildungsroman no caps of sorts, as King Priam was a being that lived through the transition of slavery to royalty and was searching for the catalyst for him becoming a man which is found through a carter. Somax was ‘a bearded, shaggy-headed fellow’ that was representative of an ‘ordinary man’ throughout Ransom and leads Priam in an adventure outside the walls of Troy. Somax teaches Priam the lessons of being a man through the ‘chatter’ that ‘was of no use’ which was atypical for Priam, coming from a world where ‘a man only spoke to give shape to a decision he had come to…’ Through the simple ‘prattling’ of the men, Priam learnt about love and humility that was elusive to him, and also regret and life was now ‘curious’ and of ‘interest’ to him. Both men had lost children, and Somax relates to Priam when he ‘closed his fist and brought it to his chest to indicate the heart,’ exemplifying that worrying for the health of children ‘is in our nature.’ However, the men also shared experience with regret and not doing the right thing by their children, demonstrated by Somax ‘open[ing] his (son) lip with my fist’ which had the affect of Priam feeling more human through relation of mistakes as he had no close relation with his children. In turn, Priam feels less like a man detached from humanity, and is willing and excited to engage more in life. ditto here, the ends of your paragraphs should be attempting some statement about the author's overall intentions through these constructs, or at the very least link it back explicitly to the prompt and your contention
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on March 10, 2014, 10:30:33 pm
Australia’s infamous alcohol-fuelled violentce incidents, such as Thomas Kelly’s “tragic” don't wuote here, it sounds like you're being sarcastic death, have generated widespread concerns as to whether or not a new legislation should be implemented in an attempt to reduce the amount of alcohol-fuelled attacks. By appealing appearing didactic, measured and logical, the editorial “This sodden, angry culture has to change” (The Age, January 24th 2014) contends to the responsible, older adults of Australia that the Premier’s proposed laws will be ineffective as alcohol abuse is the remains a major problem in Australia. The editor aims to persuade their readership that the only way for a decline in alcohol consumption is through cultural change and emphasises the possibility due to the rapid decline of tobacco usage.


The editor asserts that although the Premier is planning to implement a plethora of restrictions to reduce alcohol-fuelled violence, they will be futile. The predominant factor influencing the attacks is the mindset of the individuals who are voluntarily becoming excessively drunk. The editor lists the measures of the Premier’s plans, such as “mandatory 10pm closing times” in order to criticise those who do not believe that “alcohol abuse” is in fact the major “condition” prompting the audience to recognise that Barry O’Farrell’s plan would be ineffective in decreasing the amount of attacks in the country, thus reducing his credibility as he has ignored that Australia is one of the “more drunken cultures” in the world. run on sentences, try to break this up. The editor complements the barbaric actions of the drunk with a photograph of an intoxicated man, with the words “for instant idiot, just add alcohol” sprawled across his face. The editor is positioning the readership to acknowledge the behaviour of the “idiot(s)” as the photograph highlights that this is the mental and health state that many perpetrators of alcohol-fuelled violence are in during the attacks. The audience would be more inclined to agree that the “complex” and “critical” problem of alcohol abuse must be suppressed in order for a decrease in violence to occur, exemplifying word choice? not sure what you're trying to say that the closing times would have no impact and that O’Farrell’s proposal would be unproductive try instead: 'counter-productive' or 'ineffectual' 'unsuccessful' etc. By utilising the evidence that “26 percent” of Australians admit to consuming alcohol in order to “put their health at serious risk,” the audience would be more susceptible to agree that many attacks within Australia are caused by the careless, inebriated individuals who have no regard for their health. You can acknowledge different factions within the audience, rather than just addressing them as a unit. A good word to use here is 'dichotomises' meaning 'to split in two.' So in this case, the author dichotomises alcohol consumers between responsible social drinkers, and violent, reckless drunks. We are therefore more likely to associate ourselves with the responsible crowd, and condemn the others. Hence, the audience are positioned to recognise that alcohol intoxication is the reason the violence and thus the proposed laws are “clearly not working.”

Having cemented that alcohol intoxication is the predominant factor causing the violence in Australia; the editor explains the consequences of alcohol and the implementations the medical association have proposed. The editor sways the reader to recognise need some synonyms for this the disastrous ramifications of alcohol intoxication, even though many fail to admit their own consumption, proved by the editor questioning whether the results are the “truth.” This promotes the reader to recognise the public’s naivety towards their own alcohol consumption and their ignorance is causing “damage” which is “extensive and costly.” The readership is positioned to recognise that the community’s lack of knowledge can be altered and improved with a cultural change and proper education in order to expose the dangerous ramifications which occur. The many ramifications of alcohol such as “breast cancer,” “heart disease,” and the possibility of “mental illness” would frighten the reader, who would be more inclined to then agree that their own amount of alcohol consumption must be reduced. The editor also promotes the audience to inform their own families and friends of the dangerous effects of alcohol in order to reduce the health factors which are caused by alcohol. The Medical Association has “urged” the government to agree to the “essential” analyse at word level here. What does 'essential' denote? (ie. critical, important, vital necessity etc.) approach, enforcing the importance of reducing the amount of alcohol consumption. The highly credible opinion of the Medical Association would sway the audience to agree with their suggestion, do due to their valuable knowledge of health. Hence, the editor hopes that by informing the audience of the many health factors and dangerous consequences, the readership would agree to the AMA’s proposal to reduce the “epidemic” of alcohol consumption.

transition b/n paragraphs could be smoother, try to at least use a 'Likewise' or 'However'
The editor vehemently asserts the need to reduce the amount of alcohol consumption and the need for a cultural change. The author inclusively groups the audience by implying that “we cannot afford” to continue the current perception of “leisure time” in Australia. This promotes that the editor is an ordinary member of the community, encouraging the readership to agree with a fellow neighbour. In addition, as this highlights community members are affected by the alcohol consumption in the community, the audience are positioned to perceive that they also play a critical role in reducing the alcohol-fuelled violence due to the need for a cultural reform. The editor outlines the many failed attempts of preventing violence such as “several summits” and “discussion papers” even though the “problem still persists” The audience would be are aware that the government has failed to acknowledge that the core of the violence is alcohol abuse and thus proves that a cultural change would be the most beneficial solution The editor asserts only a “cultural change” will impact on the amount of violence in the country, implicitly suggesting to the audience that once the public become more informed with an “extensive and effective education,” there will be a decline in alcohol intoxication and thus alcohol-fuelled violence, further enforcing the benefits of a change in the culture surrounding alcohol. another quite dense sentence, break it up a bit Hence, the editor evokes word choice? 'calls upon' 'invokes?' the readership to understand the importance of cultural change and the overall benefits.


The editor concludes their piece by asserting that the success of the decline in smoking can act as an incentive to reduce the amount of alcohol consumption in Australia. The editor praises the country for “succeeding in that way” against tobacco, highlighting that a cultural change had caused the fewer smokers in Australia, promoting the audience to agree within the proposal as cultural change is evidently achievable and has proven results. The editor complements the need for a cultural reform with two cartoons depicting a cigarette and wine glass with large crosses over both of them. The readership are positioned to recognise the well-known symbol of  the no-smoking icon and believe that with cultural change, the wine cartoon being crossed out may also become a well-known within society. The editor is leaves the audience with the simple message that like smoking, alcohol consumption can also decrease if the same approach is undertaken. Henceforth, the audience are inclined to recognise that a cultural change must occur for a reduction of violence within Australia. If this is your conclusion, you should bring up the images earlier, and don't leave so much analysis till right at the end. If this is a 4th paragraph then you need a conclusion :P

8-9/10
Your analytical skills are very good, and you clearly know the pattern for Language Analysis. You do tend to cram it all into one sentence though, which can make it a laborious read for an assessor. This could be easily spotted with a quick reread though, and eventually you should be able to notice when you lapse into run-on sentences.
Also you don't mention many techniques. I can count about two, and one of them is inclusive language (which I guarantee everyone in the state will mention.) Maybe look over a list of techniques and try to deal with some more complex ones.
Other than that, you seem to know what you're doing. Some basic structural/vocabulary improvements should have a noticeable impact on your marks :)
Best of luck :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on March 10, 2014, 10:38:27 pm
Phanboy,
(1) A letter or speech can be any style (persuasive, expository, imaginative) the forms and the styles are not mutually exclusive. So you can write a letter that is predominately expository if that's your strength. These sorts of frameworks (or even hybrid pieces) just tend to make the work more interesting and readable. Any given assessor will be trawling through 200 essays on the same prompt, and an awful lot of them will be saying the same thing, so a unique blend of style/technique/storytelling/creativity/whatever might help with your marks.
(2) It's worth experimenting. In SACs you should probably be playing to your strengths, but even then there's room for messing around, especially in Term 1/2. I'd recommend at least trying these different forms, and if they don't work, just explain to your tutor that you feel expository writing suits you better. But for now, write a couple of essays and see what works for you :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on March 10, 2014, 11:15:39 pm
“I was learning that Baba had been a thief. And a thief of the worst kind, because the things he had stolen had been sacred.” Baba’s actions in The Kite Runner are more damaging than any of Amir’s. Discuss.

In Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner, the actions of both Baba and Amir are portrayed as destructive in nature, but ultimately, the reader is able to see Amir as a less damaging character due to his atonement and consequent redemption. By highlighting Baba’s failure to act and his betrayal of his homeland, Hosseini illustrates Baba in a cowardly and disloyal way. either 'illustrates Baba's cowardice and disloyalty' or 'portrays Baba in a cowardly and disloyal way' (first is probably better.) While it may be argued that Amir’s actions were far more damaging than any of Baba’s, Baba’s actions while raising Amir caused him to act in a negative way.
 
In The Kite Runner, it is often the case that a characters failure to act can prove to be more damaging than any of their actions. In the case of Amir, it is his failure to defend Hassan during the rape that proves the most damaging, but in the case of Baba it is his failure to atone for his actions. Although Baba’s actions alone are not considered as damaging as Amir’s, the mere fact that Amir tried to redeem himself after his poor decisions shows responsibility and integrity and allowed him to finally feel “healed”. While the beating he took from Assef left his body “broken”, he was able to laugh because he had finally atoned. Baba, on the other hand, failed to atone for the way he raised his son. His high expectations and lack of affection caused Amir to feel the need to “sacrifice for Baba”, which directly resulted in him considering the blue kite of higher value than Hassan. Baba never let Amir know that he was good enough, and this proved to be detrimental to his moral standings at a young age. While Baba did not directly cause the rape, his actions were more damaging in the scheme of things than Amir’s were. Good use of evidence, but you need another sentence here to tiw back to the prompt and your contention. Try to use the author's name here to 'zoom out' and comment on overall views and values. You could even comment on audience interpretation (ie. the word 'damaging' can refer to both the character's effects on one another, and their personas as we see them)

The theme of loyalty and betrayal is prevalent in The Kite Runner, as it illustrates the transition of Afghanistan from a country of beauty to a country of destruction and war. It would be unreasonable to claim that Baba was the direct cause of Afghanistan’s demise, but the people who fled Afghanistan were significant symbolic contributors to the loss of their homeland. Baba fled as soon as he realised that his “way of life had ended” in Afghanistan. He was acting in a responsible way in terms of what his son needed, but in other ways he was leaving his country to fend for itself. He not only left his country, he robbed his son of his homeland. Kabul was not the same, “you couldn’t trust anyone”, but the significance and importance of “standing up” for his country in its time of need seemingly overrules leaving in terms of importance. This further proves the damaging effect that Baba’s actions have throughout the novel, especially in terms of the country of which he originates. Excellent ideas in this para, but a weak ending. Same as above, comment on authorial intent, audience interpretation, or at least link it back to the prompt.

There are several father-son relationships illustrated in The Kite Runner which explore the various ways that you are able to raise your son. While it can be argued that Baba is a positive influence on how Amir acts by encouraging him to “stand up for himself”, his cold and distant treatment towards Amir’s choices early in life causes him to feel inadequate. This, in turn, causes Amir to sacrifice Hassan to Assef and the bullies to impress his father.  If Baba was a more loving and accepting father, Amir would never have felt the need to “win Baba” and he would not have had to symbolically “slay” Hassan in the way that one would slay a “lamb”.  This then caused Amir to feel the need to hide his deception of Hassan, which eventually led to Hassan’s death. This behaviour was indirectly destructive, but it was destructive nonetheless. Excellent point, worth 'fleshing out' a bit more, what is Hosseini saying about blame/intent/destruction..?

While Amir’s behaviour is destructive in its own right, Baba’s is significantly more destructive overall. By examining the way that Amir attempts to atone for his wrongs, his betrayal of his homeland and the way he raises his legitimate son all illuminate the significance of his negative actions throughout the text and how they are more damaging than Amir’s. good conclusion, but your last sentence could be stronger. 'By examining... all illuminate the significance of...' is a bit clunky too. Maybe explore the point you raised in your last para about the unintentional/indirect destruction, or at least challenge the nature of 'destruction' as something definitive and measurable. You are allowed to agre with the prompt, but it's usually good to challenge it in some way, even if it's only a few minor points,  try to find instances of alternate interpretation or outright contrary evidence.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Blondie21 on March 10, 2014, 11:21:29 pm
8-9/10
Your analytical skills are very good, and you clearly know the pattern for Language Analysis. You do tend to cram it all into one sentence though, which can make it a laborious read for an assessor. This could be easily spotted with a quick reread though, and eventually you should be able to notice when you lapse into run-on sentences.
Also you don't mention many techniques. I can count about two, and one of them is inclusive language (which I guarantee everyone in the state will mention.) Maybe look over a list of techniques and try to deal with some more complex ones.
Other than that, you seem to know what you're doing. Some basic structural/vocabulary improvements should have a noticeable impact on your marks :)
Best of luck :)

Thanks so much Lauren!!! One more question, which techniques would you have used from the article? I know that this is simple stuff (year 7 .. Sigh..) but I can't find many :|
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Rishi97 on March 11, 2014, 05:37:46 pm
Hi Lauren

Quick question regarding language analysis. If expert opinion is used in the article, how can we write the effect on audience? I want to say that they "are placed in a position where they must agree with the author as he is an expert". But this doesn't sound very good. Do you know any way how I can word this?

Thanks
Rishi ;)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: cute on March 11, 2014, 07:14:09 pm


Thank you so much :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: RazzMeTazz on March 11, 2014, 07:23:27 pm
Do you have any recommendations for any novels/types of novels, that will improve my overall English ability?

Thanks!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Phanboy on March 11, 2014, 10:36:04 pm
Thanks so much for the help!! Didn't realise the styles were mutually exclusive :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on March 11, 2014, 10:37:42 pm
Quick question regarding language analysis. If expert opinion is used in the article, how can we write the effect on audience? I want to say that they "are placed in a position where they must agree with the author as he is an expert". But this doesn't sound very good. Do you know any way how I can word this?

It's best to do this in the context of the piece, rather than using a 'one size fits all' formula. Simply stating 'readers are inclined to agree with an expert' or something similar is fairly pedestrian. Instead, look at how/why this particular expert is effective eg. 'Blogs' role as the Head of the Department of __ lends weight to his arguments, angling readers to side with a more informed view.'
This should be something you expand upon in close relation to the issue though, not as some separate rhetorical device; the assessor knows what these techniques do, most of the marks will come from your discussion of how these techniques persuade.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on March 11, 2014, 10:47:04 pm
Do you have any recommendations for any novels/types of novels, that will improve my overall English ability?

Thanks!

First and foremost, it has to be something you enjoy. Don't fight your way through Ulysses or Infinite Jest just because you think it'll help, find a favourite genre or two (sci-fi, thriller, paranormal, crime.) Or you might want to look through the english text list for this year, there are SOME good ones on there -.-
Personally I favour detective stories and dystopian novels. I can recommend Vonnegut, Bradbury, Bellow and Conrad. I'm also big on foreign authors (translated, since I'm pathetically uncultured) especially Russian and Italian.
It's really up to you. If you're not a regular reader, then start with some YA fiction or something with themes that engage you. After that maybe move into some classic novels or plays. Try to always read at a level above you though. Rather than give yourself an easy time with the basics, see if you can push yourself to learn some new words or sentence structures.
Reading in general will improve your English ability, so I highly recommend finding out what works for you  :D
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on March 11, 2014, 10:54:40 pm
Thanks so much for the help!! Didn't realise the styles were mutually exclusive :)
...the forms and the styles are not mutually exclusive.
Ahem, just to clarify. They're not mutually exclusive, that's why you have the option of writing 'hybrid' essays that incorporate two or more different styles. So in your case, you might want to use a letter format, but have the writer of the letter ponder the nature of the context in an expository way, or you could even interpolate the letter with someone reading it, then provide their inner monologue, which could involve a mix of the expository and creative styles.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jason12 on March 12, 2014, 12:49:14 am
when watching a film or reading a book for text response, do you know any tips on how to pick out things to use in an essay? For the film I have been studying, it has been difficult for me to pick out things that hasn't been done before.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: M_BONG on March 12, 2014, 08:40:52 pm
Hey! We had our first English language analysis SAC today..

I was just wondering how you would interpret this cartoon.

It was on mass murderer Julian Knight and whether the government should keep him indefinitely imprisoned.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/t31/1617629_259588140877095_276129351_o.jpg

This cartoon was sooooo tricky. How would you personally interpret this cartoon?

I thought the man pushing the carriage was Julian Knight and the coffin was a symbol of his future (ie. dead) and the cartoonist was showing that Knight poses no real harm to the community.

However, when I got home and re-looked at it, I realised Knight is probably the guy in the coffin. And the cartoon is actually mocking the fact that when Knight finally gets out, he is dead (indefintely imprisoned). And that is a mockery of the government's proposal to keep him in jail forever.

Do you think there is a specific way to interpret this cartoon? Are you ever penalised for identifying contentions of cartoon incorrectly?

Haha I know there is nothing you can change after a SAC but just curious...
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on March 12, 2014, 09:25:20 pm
when watching a film or reading a book for text response, do you know any tips on how to pick out things to use in an essay? For the film I have been studying, it has been difficult for me to pick out things that hasn't been done before.
Where do I start...
If you want specific help then let me know what text response/context you're studying, what film it is, and what exactly you're having trouble with. The following are some general purpose tips for how to 'read/watch' your texts.
Best of luck!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on March 12, 2014, 09:53:17 pm
I was just wondering how you would interpret this cartoon.
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/t31/1617629_259588140877095_276129351_o.jpg
Oh how I love visual analysis! It's been so long...
Okay, your safe, basic contention is, as you rightly suggested, a mockery of indefinite imprisonment. But there is soooo much more!
Knight would be the body in the coffin for sure, but he's not technically "out" is he? The coffin is barely visible, the majority of it still inside the prison. And even then he's got to get out of the prison gates which are themselves symbolic of an impenetrable boundary. Translation: even in death, Knight will be locked up as long as the government can keep him there. Furthermore you could make something out of the nature of the funeral procession. Nowadays the dead are transported in hearses, so the horse and carriage could be interpreted as 'anachronisms.' Not that horse drawn carriages were used in the late 80s when Knight was imprisoned, but stick with me on this: the horse and his rider don't belong, they are the product of another era, so the idea of them being used to pull Knight out of his prison implies he too is in a place/time he doesn't belong. I'm sure the cartoonist isn't contending the man should be released into the world, but it is a pretty scathing comment on the government's bureaucracy.
ALTERNATIVELY: you could argue this is a lighthearted piece. Well, as lighthearted as you can get when drawing pictures about serial killers. The cartoonist wants us to laugh along at the idea of a lengthy prison sentence, it's a victimless crime to us. I'd wager most people would consider an indefinite (read: permanent) jail sentence a pretty just outcome for a convicted mass murderer. In this case, we can feel protected by a government that, although incompetent, has inadvertently protected us from this man by keeping him in prison under piles of paperwork tied down by red tape. Julian Knight 'gets out' as they suggest, but is no longer a threat of any kind.

In short: there is no specific way to make sense of a cartoon. I'm an art student, so the pictorial cues came naturally to me, to the point where I'd spend too much time analysing cartoons and not enough on the written text :P They can be incredibly ambiguous, and you kind of need more art terminology that persuasive techniques if you want to do close analysis (eg. the black void of the prison interior is indicative of a bleak, inescapable vortex of suffering :P) But there is no right answer! As always with english, if you can argue your case rationally and reasonably, then there's little to stop you getting full marks. I could write about either of the two above interpretations, of a completely different one. The assessors are aware how subjective the content is; so long as you're not writing about how the cartoonist is condoning releasing all criminals from jail and replacing the entire government with Clydesdale ponies, you should be fine.
Not sure what you'd make of the... excrement coming from the back of that horse though... that's definitely symbolic of something...
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: BLACKCATT on March 12, 2014, 09:57:57 pm
Hi Lauren. How exactly do we challenge the prompt(text reponses)? I'm having trouble with the structure, where i would partially agree with the prompt for the first para, partially disagree for the second, and i'm lost with what to write about for the 3rd paragraph. If you could provide any helpful advice, i'd greatly appreciate it.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on March 12, 2014, 10:17:18 pm
I'm tentative to give really specific formula advice, partially because VCAA hates formulaic essays, but mainly because every school/teacher has their different 'right way to write.' I usually advice three paragraphs in support of your contention, and then a 'challenge' in which you consider the other side of the argument. The structure will  depend on the prompt, and your strengths. This might be of use too: http://www.vcestudyguides.com/tips-for-responding-to-text-response-prompts
Don't get too caught up in paragraph grouping or 'challenging' if it's giving you trouble. It's better that you get confident in writing a cogent essay that deals directly with the prompt than worry yourself with agreeing/disagreeing.
Think of the contentions as being on a spectrum: you don't want to be too far on either side, as it'll appear like you're not taking the other arguments into account. But you don't want to be 'fence sitting' either. Your essay must come to some sort of conclusion about the text and your own interpretation, so being in the middle of the spectrum is no good either. Aim to be somewhere on either side, though of course you shouldn't be penalised for having a conflicting interpretation to the norm.
Shouldn't.
In reality, English is inherently subjective which is why I usually advice getting a feel for what sort of style/form/approach your teacher endorses. The good ones will welcome all approaches, but for the most part you'll have to cater to some structural and ideological preferences :/
Feel free to post some practice paras or essays if you want specific advice, or let me know what text/prompts you're doing and I might be able to take you through some possible structures :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jason12 on March 13, 2014, 12:14:32 am
Where do I start...
If you want specific help then let me know what text response/context you're studying, what film it is, and what exactly you're having trouble with. The following are some general purpose tips for how to 'read/watch' your texts.
  • (Though not applicable now) For future students: the first reading/viewing should take place during the summer holidays. The second will either be before you study it, or while you're going through it in class depending on how your school runs things. The third and subsequent times  will be before major assessment (ie. SACs and exams.) There is no set amount of times to view the text, it will depend on its complexity and your ability, but three is my recommended minimum.
  • Each of these readings will have a general purpose. The first is to acquaint yourself with the plot, characters, and perhaps some surface level themes. The second is for in depth themes, quotes, and character development. The third will be primarily for quotes and evidence, though perhaps some more extended investigation into subtler passages/scenes/metaphors rather than relying on the big moments in the text. So don't be too concerned if the sophisticated musings on iconography and semiotics don't come to you straight away :P Focus on a more gradual learning curve instead of bombarding your brain with info you can't yet handle.
  • Once you've grasped the basic ideas, try to view the text as an English Text. Basically look beyond the plot outline and the basic concerns. What is the author trying to say?? It's at this point you might want to start looking at practice prompts, the way they're phrased, and what kind of areas they want you to discuss. Probably still too soon to attempt full practice essays, worry about the content for now.
  • Step 4: RESEARCH! This can be really fun or really tedious. Depends mainly on your text, but also your attitude towards English I guess. Start with whatever you've been given in class as background material; consider this the foundation, as you'll be expected to go beyond this if you want points for interpretation and quality of ideas. Assuming you have nothing to work with: first, research the text. Wikipedia is usually sufficient :-X Familiarise yourself with the context (when and where.) Then look into the author's life and times. Are there any major events or ideologies that influence their work? This becomes the 'how and why' part, in terms of the way the text is constructed. VCAA are big on this 'construct' idea, and every essay should endeavour to step out of the textual analysis and comment on the author's views and values.
  • After that (though this one is technically still research) google '_text name_' + academic articles/ review journals/ academic essays etc. This was a big help for me when it came to alternate interpretations and developing my ideas beyond what the study designs dictated. This won't work for everyone, I know a lot of the newer texts on the reading lists won't have many resources available so my condolences to you guys. Also a lot of what you do find will be pseudo academic drivel, so take it all with a grain of salt, but eventually you'll find something owrth your time. Maybe make some notes if it's a good enough resource.
  • Now go back to the practice prompts. Note any common themes or reoccuring key words; these will likely be a major part of any essay. See if you can find some left-of-field ones too (usually structural questions) and think about how you could approach them. This is where the practice paragraphs and eventually essays will begin, though the research part can be ongoing. Read over some past essays and think about what makes them good or bad. If they've used a certain bit of evidence to make a point, think about how that same or a similar point could be made with different quotes or scenes. I've put up some notes on responding to prompts earlier that discuss how to wring the most out of a question, so maybe consult those when the time comes.
  • Then the fine tuning begins. By now you'll have some of your own work to refer back to, hopefully with as much feedback as possible (classroom teachers, or a different teacher if you want a second opinion, tutors, smart English-y friends etc.) If you still think originality and content are a problem, go back to the research and try to find an alternate interpretive angle now that you have practiced some of the more straightforward ones. Don't worry too much about this though. Granted your essay will be read amidst 200 other essays on the same text, but so long as your ideas are well supported and explored they're not going to penalise you for mentioning something they've read before; there's only so much to say. Try to have one or two key points that deal with the text in a unique way, or at least substantiate your discussion with unique evidence.
Best of luck!

I'm studying a film called 'All about Eve' (I think it's a new VCAA text) for text response. I've watched the film twice (1 in class for a general viewing then a 2nd one on my own while taking notes). A few days ago i wrote an in-class practice SAC in preparation for the real sac in about a week but I felt the piece lacked any deep analysis and my intro was a bit dodgy. One thing I do struggle with is film techniques (mis en scene, camera angles) but this will be hard to help with as I assume you haven't watched the film.

I guess what i struggle with exactly is
- writing a decent intro (nice opening sentence and clear contention)
- analysing themes/characters/events to a deeper level. E.g. If a character in the film does something I am usually only able to write 1-2 sentences on that before I feel I can't analyse it any more.

Anyways the prompt was

"what I want I go after, I don't want it to come after me." How do the women in 'All about Eve' adhere to or defy the 1950's feminine values? You can do some research on this topic if you want to/have any free time. thanks
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: ~V on March 18, 2014, 07:15:18 pm
How is employing a reasonable/logical tone persuasive?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on March 18, 2014, 08:37:52 pm
How is employing a reasonable/logical tone persuasive?

Generally it makes the author seem more rational, thus their argument is more sensible and appealing. This technique is often used in conjunction with an attack on the other party, so the author creates a 'dichotomy' between his reasonable position and the crackpot/dangerous/illegitimate/no-good-very-bad other position.
It's not enough to state this in an essay though, you'd have to explain why this particular technique is effective given the issue/context/audience etc. rather than just providing a definition of what the technique does.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: smile+energy on March 19, 2014, 03:40:08 pm

  • .The first is to acquaint yourself with the plot, characters, and perhaps some surface level themes. The second is for in depth themes, quotes, and character development. 
Hi, Lauren. I don't really understand the meaning of "surface level themes" and "In depth themes". Can you explain further for me?
And if my text is a play, can I follow the ways you mentioned too?
Thanks very much :)
[/list]
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on March 21, 2014, 04:52:07 pm
'Surface level' themes are the sort of simplistic ones you pick up on a first reading, for example: discrimination, deception, kindness, communication, brutality etc. More in depth work comes later on in the form of either more complex themes:
'deception' --> the idea of deceiving oneself as well as others
'communication'--> more specifically, the causes of a breakdown in communication,
or they might be different themes entirely that you didn't pick up on until a more thorough study. Either way, the basics still warrant mentioning :)
And yes; book, play, film, or poetry, this approach is pretty much the same. Though if you can find/attend a performance of the play (provided it's a close adaptation :P) this will probably help with your understanding of stage directions, setting, costumes, tone etc.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: smile+energy on March 22, 2014, 07:34:21 am
Thanks, Lauren :). That makes sense.

And can you explain these for me? what are the differences between a context essay and a text response essay? Thanks in advance.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on March 22, 2014, 06:15:21 pm
Rightio: for a Text Response Essay you're expected to deal with the text in a lot of detail. Every paragraph you write MUST be about some part of the text. You're allowed to include some background information about the author's life and times, but only a couple of sentences, and only if it's relevant to the discussion.
For context, however, the text is just a 'springboard,' meaning it's only the beginning of your ideas. Although your essay has to build on the ideas in the text (and you should mention it explicitly at least once; this is not an official criterion, but VCAA can penalise you for it anyway, trust me :-\) After that, you can use whatever you want: external sources like news stories & current affairs, historical events, famous people, books, songs, quotes, other literature etc. etc. Not every paragraph has to mention the text, you're only using it to say something about the Context/prompt.
I guess an easy way to differentiate the two would be that for Text Response you use the prompt to discuss the text, whereas for Context you use the text to discuss the prompt.
It's annoyingly similar (esp. for expository style Contest pieces) but here's hoping VCAA lift their game for next year's Study Design.
Not much consolation at the moment, sorry :P
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Sense on March 22, 2014, 06:26:33 pm

Rightio: for a Text Response Essay you're expected to deal with the text in a lot of detail. Every paragraph you write MUST be about some part of the text. You're allowed to include some background information about the author's life and times, but only a couple of sentences, and only if it's relevant to the discussion.
For context, however, the text is just a 'springboard,' meaning it's only the beginning of your ideas. Although your essay has to build on the ideas in the text (and you should mention it explicitly at least once; this is not an official criterion, but VCAA can penalise you for it anyway, trust me :-\) After that, you can use whatever you want: external sources like news stories & current affairs, historical events, famous people, books, songs, quotes, other literature etc. etc. Not every paragraph has to mention the text, you're only using it to say something about the Context/prompt.
I guess an easy way to differentiate the two would be that for Text Response you use the prompt to discuss the text, whereas for Context you use the text to discuss the prompt.
It's annoyingly similar (esp. for expository style Contest pieces) but here's hoping VCAA lift their game for next year's Study Design.
Not much consolation at the moment, sorry :P

Hey Lauren, are you getting my messages on here ? If you're still doing the essay correcting could you message me ?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Einstein on March 23, 2014, 10:44:23 am
Hi Lauren,

We have a upcoming SAC on context, which is in the form of imaginary writing, with the context encountering conflict, situated around ideas from Animal Farm. My dilemma is , i have hardly written one, i wrote one in year 7/8 and one beginning of year 10, where i blabbed on about random stuff. I have no idea how to go about it an no idea of structuring.

I have come up with an idea about using the basis of the darwin bombings as the story, with mr Frederick and humans etc attacking on Animal Farm, thats just an idea i got no idea. Do you have anything that will help me/tips etc.

Thanks heaps :0
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: smile+energy on March 23, 2014, 10:53:00 am
Rightio: for a Text Response Essay you're expected to deal with the text in a lot of detail. Every paragraph you write MUST be about some part of the text. You're allowed to include some background information about the author's life and times, but only a couple of sentences, and only if it's relevant to the discussion.
For context, however, the text is just a 'springboard,' meaning it's only the beginning of your ideas. Although your essay has to build on the ideas in the text (and you should mention it explicitly at least once; this is not an official criterion, but VCAA can penalise you for it anyway, trust me :-\) After that, you can use whatever you want: external sources like news stories & current affairs, historical events, famous people, books, songs, quotes, other literature etc. etc. Not every paragraph has to mention the text, you're only using it to say something about the Context/prompt.
I guess an easy way to differentiate the two would be that for Text Response you use the prompt to discuss the text, whereas for Context you use the text to discuss the prompt.
It's annoyingly similar (esp. for expository style Contest pieces) but here's hoping VCAA lift their game for next year's Study Design.
Not much consolation at the moment, sorry :P

Thanks, Lauren :)
yeah, sometimes it's hard to distinguish the two.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: RazzMeTazz on March 23, 2014, 03:10:54 pm
For context what is the difference between a creative, expository and persuasive form?

Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Summers on March 23, 2014, 09:03:24 pm
Hi Lauren,

I was just wondering, beyond the quality>quantity, what word count should you be aiming for?

When I'm trying to absolutely perfect my essays when I am writing them on my computer under no time restrictions, it could take me close to 2-3 hours to write a single paragraph. When I got into my essay which I was massively unprepared for, I was expecting to write around 2 pages. When I saw the prompt I realised I had done some work on it and got my three ideas and could non-stop write about it and wrote around 4 1/2 pages in 45 minutes before I realised my first paragraph was like 1 1/2 pages long and my last paragraph was like a page long, and decided to stop.

What should you aim for? Also despite ranks, if I were to go to a school that was ranked in the top 50, what would a good score out of 30 be which is on cue for a 40 study score? I know it varies and that SACs are just a rank, but for the sake of knowing the quality of writing, what should you really be getting out of 30?

Ta.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on March 23, 2014, 10:27:00 pm
Hi Lauren,

We have a upcoming SAC on context, which is in the form of imaginary writing, with the context encountering conflict, situated around ideas from Animal Farm. My dilemma is , i have hardly written one, i wrote one in year 7/8 and one beginning of year 10, where i blabbed on about random stuff. I have no idea how to go about it an no idea of structuring.

I have come up with an idea about using the basis of the darwin bombings as the story, with mr Frederick and humans etc attacking on Animal Farm, thats just an idea i got no idea. Do you have anything that will help me/tips etc.

Thanks heaps :0
Your idea seems solid enough, what exactly are you having trouble with? Is it coming up with ideas or expressing them?
Maybe consult the Assessor's Report (just google it) there's usually some examples of high scoring creative responses, or check with your teacher as they should be able to provide some structural guidance.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on March 23, 2014, 10:39:24 pm
For context what is the difference between a creative, expository and persuasive form?

Creative: either a short story, anecdote, letter, news article... basically a piece of writing that involves adopting the 'voice' of someone else (usually a character from the text you're studying.)

Expository: the essay format you're used to using for Text Responses or Language Analysis. It involves 'exposing' or discussing different elements of the prompt.

Persuasive: can occur in different forms, but usually as a speech. Similar to expository, but will have stronger language and a more definitive contention, ie. you're not 'exposing' ideas as you would in an expository piece but rather persuading your audience of your own views.

Or you could try a 'hybrid' essay, which is a combination of two, or even three of these. Whatever suits you, really :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on March 23, 2014, 10:58:08 pm
Hi Lauren,

I was just wondering, beyond the quality>quantity, what word count should you be aiming for?

When I'm trying to absolutely perfect my essays when I am writing them on my computer under no time restrictions, it could take me close to 2-3 hours to write a single paragraph. When I got into my essay which I was massively unprepared for, I was expecting to write around 2 pages. When I saw the prompt I realised I had done some work on it and got my three ideas and could non-stop write about it and wrote around 4 1/2 pages in 45 minutes before I realised my first paragraph was like 1 1/2 pages long and my last paragraph was like a page long, and decided to stop.

What should you aim for? Also despite ranks, if I were to go to a school that was ranked in the top 50, what would a good score out of 30 be which is on cue for a 40 study score? I know it varies and that SACs are just a rank, but for the sake of knowing the quality of writing, what should you really be getting out of 30?

Ta.

As you say, quality>quantity, so this advice is really general. You should write at least 800 words for each essay, closer to 1000 if you're aiming for really high marks. Really though the assessors care waaaay more about your content.
Re: study scores... look I only have a passing knowledge of VCAA's bizarre ranking/standardization marking scheme, so I really don't like to speculate. It's good to have study score goals in mind, but just concentrate on learning and doing the best you can. VCAA will moderate and warp your grades in some way that apparently makes sense, but if you've worked consistently well throughout the year then the school you're at won't have too much of an impact. Granted, some SACs will scale down (if you're given three or more hours for a single essay, or if you know the prompt days beforehand) whereas others will scale up (if you're given 50 minutes and unseen articles/prompts like my school :P)
I seem to remember hearing that an 8/10 for each essay should get you a 40+ with the consistently good SAC marks and rankings, but I could be wrong. Maybe check with someone on the Technical Score Discussion Boards, I really don't know  :-\
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: DJA on March 27, 2014, 06:51:21 pm
Hi Lauren – I was just wondering if you had any tips to cut down on the amount of writing in sacs/exams. I have a reasonably fast writing speed and I have ideas so I tend to write like ~1600-1800 words in a 90 minute SAC. The problem is when I tried to cut down (for example in the LA) I found this really really difficult as my argument of how the author is positioning the reader broke down. I’m worried because the end of year exam only gives an hour for LA and if I write as much as I do, I just won’t finish…

Any advice?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on March 28, 2014, 08:17:15 pm
At the end of the year you'll have three hours for three essays, but you're not restricted to one hour for each. So you can use 70 or 75 minutes for one task if there's another you can get done in 45/50. But for any essay, 1000 words (give or take a few hundred) is usually enough. While it's impressive you can write that much, a lot of it will probably be either reiterating/rephrasing points you've already made, or too far removed from the core discussion. There's no strict word count, but it will annoy your assessors if they have to read 8 or 9 pages when 4 would have been sufficient.
For LA. I'm assuming it's because you're covering too much ground. Remember they aren't looking for a holistic reading of the entire article. You don't have to mention every persuasive technique you come across. In fact part of the criteria is basically selecting relevant aspects of the text to discuss rather than trying to write an essay covering everything. Try to cut down on some of the most obvious stuff: the entire state will be acknowledging an appeal to authority or a rhetorical question, so see if you can find some more sophisticated appeals or devices. Remember the credit you get is for your analysis. The intro and concl are mere structural requirements so don't overdo them (4 or 5 lines depending on your handwriting is probably sufficient.) And don't waste time summarising the article or contextualising the arguments. Assume your assessor will have read the piece. Though you still have to integrate quotes fluently, you don't have to introduce or signpost them. Likewise don't just give stock definitions when explaining the techniques, elaborate in terms of the issue, as this will make for a shorter, smoother transition into your discussion of the effect on the reader.
If you want to post or PM a sample of your work I might be able to give you more specific advice. Otherwise just focus on the content for now and worry about timing later. Your school should prepare you throughout the year with SACs and practice exams, so don't be too concerned if you can't write a piece in under an hour :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: DJA on March 28, 2014, 10:35:06 pm
Thanks!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Yacoubb on March 29, 2014, 12:18:44 am
Hey Lauren

In preparation for the exam, do you think 850-950 words is sufficient? I personally write 1000-1300 words for SACs in 90 mins, but I think 800 words would be suitable to write in say 45 mins. I do think it'll take 1 hour 15 mins for LA, and possibly 45 mins for context, leaving me 15 mins for editing. What do you think?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on March 29, 2014, 07:33:16 pm
Why have you got that time breakdown the way it is?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Yacoubb on March 29, 2014, 08:01:56 pm
Why have you got that time breakdown the way it is?

Well its not really so much broken down, its more of just a rough estimate. That was how long it generally took me for each section during year 11 english when we did a 3-hour exam for both unit 1 and unit 2 English.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on March 30, 2014, 11:23:30 am
Don't make your time restrictions too harsh, you might get a really easy L.A. piece and a god awful context prompt. It's good to know what your strengths are, but be prepared to re-strategize (?) once you're in the exam. Even SACs can sometimes be a good challenge, forcing you to throw all your preparation out the window :)

Firstly, 850-950 is fine. Obviously quality>quantity, but it's generally hard to score really well with less than 800 words. By the end of the year, hopefully you'll have so much to write that you'll be well and truly over that limit anyway. (There's actually no official 'limit' though, just general advice based on what teachers/assessors have told me.) Don't worry about writing more in SACs, that's good practice for expressing all your ideas or tackling difficult prompts. Focus on content for now, it's easy to fine tune the word count towards the end of the year.

That said, if you're heading towards the 1200+ range, you might need to cut down. This isn't the case for everyone, (I think my T.R. essay would have been around that, and I know others who wrote even more) but ~900 should give you a rough guide as to how much VCAA want you to cover. They're not expecting a thesis, or a whole lot of background details. Maybe go through some of your SACs/practice essays and work out how much of your essay is critical analysis vs. how much is irrelevant waffle :P If it's all good then just keep doing what you're doing, but if you find there are a few sentences or chunks of paragraphs that don't really accomplish much, then concentrate on whittling down your essay to the important bits. Assessors are more impressed with what you can do effectively in a short space than how much you can cover in an hour.

Re: timing. 15 minutes is probably too long for editing. Try to edit as you go rather than waste time at the end rereading the whole thing (especially if you're not a fast reader.) Just practice as many different article formats for L.A. and prompts for Context and T.R. so that very little will surprise you, and you'll give yourself the best chance at the end of the year :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Yacoubb on March 30, 2014, 11:32:06 am
Don't make your time restrictions too harsh, you might get a really easy L.A. piece and a god awful context prompt. It's good to know what your strengths are, but be prepared to re-strategize (?) once you're in the exam. Even SACs can sometimes be a good challenge, forcing you to throw all your preparation out the window :)

Firstly, 850-950 is fine. Obviously quality>quantity, but it's generally hard to score really well with less than 800 words. By the end of the year, hopefully you'll have so much to write that you'll be well and truly over that limit anyway. (There's actually no official 'limit' though, just general advice based on what teachers/assessors have told me.) Don't worry about writing more in SACs, that's good practice for expressing all your ideas or tackling difficult prompts. Focus on content for now, it's easy to fine tune the word count towards the end of the year.

That said, if you're heading towards the 1200+ range, you might need to cut down. This isn't the case for everyone, (I think my T.R. essay would have been around that, and I know others who wrote even more) but ~900 should give you a rough guide as to how much VCAA want you to cover. They're not expecting a thesis, or a whole lot of background details. Maybe go through some of your SACs/practice essays and work out how much of your essay is critical analysis vs. how much is irrelevant waffle :P If it's all good then just keep doing what you're doing, but if you find there are a few sentences or chunks of paragraphs that don't really accomplish much, then concentrate on whittling down your essay to the important bits. Assessors are more impressed with what you can do effectively in a short space than how much you can cover in an hour.

Re: timing. 15 minutes is probably too long for editing. Try to edit as you go rather than waste time at the end rereading the whole thing (especially if you're not a fast reader.) Just practice as many different article formats for L.A. and prompts for Context and T.R. so that very little will surprise you, and you'll give yourself the best chance at the end of the year :)

Thanks so much for that! :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: walkec on March 30, 2014, 12:20:32 pm
Hi Lauren9460,
I had Parent Teacher Interviews this week and my English teacher was talking about there being ways you can study for English throughout the year instead of always focussing on practice pieces and going over your texts.

I'm planning to ask him exactly what he meant this week, but I was just wondering what you did in terms of "studying" for English besides doing practice pieces and getting feedback?

Thank you  :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: RazzMeTazz on March 30, 2014, 04:20:45 pm
In an expository essay are you allowed to use symbols and motifs from the set text, as evidence to support your big idea? :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on March 31, 2014, 06:00:03 pm
Hi Lauren9460,
I had Parent Teacher Interviews this week and my English teacher was talking about there being ways you can study for English throughout the year instead of always focussing on practice pieces and going over your texts.

I'm planning to ask him exactly what he meant this week, but I was just wondering what you did in terms of "studying" for English besides doing practice pieces and getting feedback?

Thank you  :)
Of course!
Practice pieces are only really helpful once you have the content under control. And rereading the texts stops being beneficial after the fifth or sixth time anyway.
How you study will be highly dependent on your strengths in English, so talk to your teacher about how you can improve. I'm a big advocate of reading, so if you're concerned about written expression or vocab, read as widely and as often as your schedule permits. Try to find books/articles etc. that are a bit above your reading level (there's no sense ploughing through books if you're not learning anything.) This doesn't mean you should go straight for a 1000 page book or something you don't understand. As with your practice essays, you should always complete a task with a goal in mind. For essays this might be a hard prompt or shorter time, and for reading you could be looking for more sophisticated vocab or different forms sentence structures.
Apart from that:

Of course this isn't a substitute for practice essays, but much like maths or science there's no sense churning through practice exams before you know the formulae.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on March 31, 2014, 07:06:32 pm
In an expository essay are you allowed to use symbols and motifs from the set text, as evidence to support your big idea? :)

Yes, but not as a substitute for an explicit reference to the text. Theoretically you can just use the ideas of a text to support a Context piece, and your teacher might encourage this, but at the end of the year examiners prefer REALLY EXPLICIT REFERENCES., like, 'In Bertolt Brecht's play 'Life of Galileo' this concept of conflict being inevitable is compounded through...'
Annoyingly this might make your work seem quite clunky, but try to get it done once or twice to fulfil the 'relevance' criterion. For the rest of your essay though, these subtler motifs and tropes can be excellent evidence for your discussion.

[Edit:] Just realised I assumed you were talking about context pieces. For an expository Text Response of course these things are often very strong evidence, but remember for context it's more about the general ideas. You don't want your essay to read like a T.R. in that it sticks too closely to the set text. Move in and out between examples and discussion, using symbols and motifs is fine though.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Chang Feng on April 02, 2014, 02:44:25 pm
Hi,
could someone please check my language analysis of this article (http://www.theage.com.au/comment/too-many-smartphone-photos-too-few-memories-20131021-2vx00.html)
My language analysis skills are very appalling right now and help would be much appreciated. thank you so much
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Rishi97 on April 02, 2014, 03:30:54 pm
Hi Lauren
First of all, thanks for all the advice you have posted on all previous posts. They are sooo helpful and beneficial.
I am currently doing "A Christmas Carol" in school and I would like some advice on how to best prepare for the exam. Do you think it would be beneficial if I summarised all the staves and wrote all the important quotes for each character?
How would you go about this?

Thanks :D :D :D :D :D
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Einstein on April 02, 2014, 03:40:41 pm
Hey Lauren not sure if you replied or not, couldn't see your comment. How do i structure a creative context essay?

thanks
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: RazzMeTazz on April 02, 2014, 07:17:11 pm
Yes, but not as a substitute for an explicit reference to the text. Theoretically you can just use the ideas of a text to support a Context piece, and your teacher might encourage this, but at the end of the year examiners prefer REALLY EXPLICIT REFERENCES., like, 'In Bertolt Brecht's play 'Life of Galileo' this concept of conflict being inevitable is compounded through...'
Annoyingly this might make your work seem quite clunky, but try to get it done once or twice to fulfil the 'relevance' criterion. For the rest of your essay though, these subtler motifs and tropes can be excellent evidence for your discussion.

[Edit:] Just realised I assumed you were talking about context pieces. For an expository Text Response of course these things are often very strong evidence, but remember for context it's more about the general ideas. You don't want your essay to read like a T.R. in that it sticks too closely to the set text. Move in and out between examples and discussion, using symbols and motifs is fine though.

ohhh okay thankyou!!! :) That helps alot!

Haha nah I was talking about context pieces! :D
thanks!!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on April 02, 2014, 07:32:57 pm
Hey Lauren not sure if you replied or not, couldn't see your comment. How do i structure a creative context essay?

thanks
I'm sure you could see this comment if you looked for it, which I'm assuming you didn't, because it took me less than thirty seconds to find :) Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Einstein on April 02, 2014, 08:06:56 pm
Yeap, sorry for that, I'm sure he did reply, which I'm grateful for. I'm maxed my Internet so I'm dealing with 64kbps for the remainder, so its painfully slow. Thsnks
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Einstein on April 02, 2014, 08:09:17 pm
I'm still unsure about the structure
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Vermilliona on April 02, 2014, 08:39:38 pm
Hey Lauren, thanks for all your replies so far, they've been immensely helpful! Just a quick question, for text response, do you think it's advisable/helpful to describe the style of one write in terms of another's (in like the introduction or just mentioning it in passing when talking about a bigger point)? I'm studying Brooklyn by Colm Toibin at the moment, and he's heavily influenced by Henry James and uses a Jamesian style to bring out the moral ambiguity in the actions of his characters, so I just want to make sure it's ok to describe the style like this? I would probably go into more detail after using that description though, elaborating on what Jamesian style is. Thanks in advance!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 02, 2014, 10:55:04 pm
Chang Feng:
Corrected L.A. is attached. I'd recommend consulting some study guides at this stage. Your actual analysis was quite good, but it got lost in the structure and phrasing. I've posted a general L.A. guide back in about the 2nd/3rd page of this thread, and there are other people who've had similar trouble with strategies that I've responded to, so maybe browse through those. :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 02, 2014, 11:04:20 pm
Rishi,
Don't stress too much about exam preparation. If you've done the SAC and are moving on in class then just go with the flow. BUT if retention is an issue, then maybe some summary notes would do you good. My recommendation is to have two different quote repositories: one ordered by characters (eg. one for Scrooge, one for Tiny Tim etc. Can be quotes from them or about them, or both) and then another for themes (eg. greed, kindness, charity etc.)
Once you're familiar with the text it's just a matter of dealing with prompt types. I don't know who's in charge of the Christmas Carol prompts at the end of the year, but they LOVE their Views and Values questions (eg. 'Dickens presents a negative critique of Victorian society' or 'The audience never truly dislike Scrooge.') Find what you're comfortable with (out of character, thematic, quote, structural, and V&V themes) practice a few of them, and then move on to the difficult ones. Hopefully by the time the exam comes you'll be prepared for whatever they throw at you :)
Like I said though, focus on what you're doing in class for the moment. These holidays will be good for revising and collating notes, but ultimately there's a reason schools do things in a certain order at certain times, and the other two tasks will require just as much dedication, so be sure to pace yourself :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 02, 2014, 11:10:29 pm
Photon,
I can't help if I don't know what the problem is  :-\
Put simply: there is no structure for context, let alone for creative pieces. You sort of have to adhere to the general conventions of whatever form you're choosing (ie. starting a letter with 'Dear...') but beyond that there's really no guidelines. Experiment heaps to find what works for you, if you want to post some of your work I might be able to give more specific advice.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Einstein on April 02, 2014, 11:13:20 pm
Alright, thats fine. Its Holiday HW , so ill do one first week holidays give you something to look at. thanks :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 02, 2014, 11:17:46 pm
Vermilliona,
Yes that sounds fine, but make sure you make it REALLY clear who you're talking about. Maybe phrasing it like "Toibin appropriates/adapts a similar --technique-- as Henry James' novel ___" But only do this if you're making a larger point, like "however where James' hero is __, Toibin's is comparatively __ instead" or something. Basically don't just show off you're well-read, do so in a way that will earn you credit :) This could be particularly good for a Views and Values or even structural style prompt, but don't force it in where it doesn't belong.
Tbh it's hardly the sort of thing that would impact your mark at all, but if you do it badly it might annoy one of those rare assessors who doesn't read and resents people who do... yes, they exist.
Provided you explain yourself adequately and it's all relevant you should be fine :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Rishi97 on April 03, 2014, 03:53:33 pm
Rishi,
Don't stress too much about exam preparation. If you've done the SAC and are moving on in class then just go with the flow. BUT if retention is an issue, then maybe some summary notes would do you good. My recommendation is to have two different quote repositories: one ordered by characters (eg. one for Scrooge, one for Tiny Tim etc. Can be quotes from them or about them, or both) and then another for themes (eg. greed, kindness, charity etc.)
Once you're familiar with the text it's just a matter of dealing with prompt types. I don't know who's in charge of the Christmas Carol prompts at the end of the year, but they LOVE their Views and Values questions (eg. 'Dickens presents a negative critique of Victorian society' or 'The audience never truly dislike Scrooge.') Find what you're comfortable with (out of character, thematic, quote, structural, and V&V themes) practice a few of them, and then move on to the difficult ones. Hopefully by the time the exam comes you'll be prepared for whatever they throw at you :)
Like I said though, focus on what you're doing in class for the moment. These holidays will be good for revising and collating notes, but ultimately there's a reason schools do things in a certain order at certain times, and the other two tasks will require just as much dedication, so be sure to pace yourself :)

Thanks heaps Lauren.... we haven't had our sac yet so I just wanted to make these notes so that I could easily extract information when working on different prompts. But your advice was very helpful and I will definetly be taking it on board. Once again a big thank you from me and all the AN community :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jason12 on April 06, 2014, 10:35:13 pm
what is a juxtaposition and could you give an example of how to effectively use it in language analysis?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Yacoubb on April 07, 2014, 07:56:20 am
what is a juxtaposition and could you give an example of how to effectively use it in language analysis?

When you contrast two things.

E.g. The writer juxtaposes the living conditions of the rich with the living conditions of the poor, to reinforce how dire the circumstances of the poor truly are.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: darklight on April 07, 2014, 05:03:06 pm
How would you recommend constructing a conclusion for a comparative analysis? Should we restate the contention or not? Thanks :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 07, 2014, 06:20:47 pm
How would you recommend constructing a conclusion for a comparative analysis? Should we restate the contention or not? Thanks :)

Conclusions are structural requirements, and realistically, you don't get any marks for it. BUT you might get an assessor who abhors anything remotely unconventional and will mark you down if you don't do one properly. It's also the final impression you'll make on your assessor, so best to nail down the structure early on. I wouldn't recommend restating the contention unless you have absolutely nothing else to say. A simple: "The author's palpable appeals to __ and __ are particularly effective for an audience of __ given the context of __" will suffice. But the best conclusions will endeavour to say something about how language is used overall. Try to summarise strategies without redundantly listing: "The author uses __, __, and __ to persuade us..." You can also comment on who is likely to be persuaded by a certain device or appeal. If you feel you need to quickly rehash the contention to do this, then that's fine, there's no hard and fast rule, but your essay should be constantly tying in the contention with your analysis, so you probably won't need to bring it up again.
That said, (and this goes for all advice I give on here) check with your teacher. Primarily because they'll be the ones marking your SACs, and its better that you buckle under their way for now, and just consider this advice as exam prep instead :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 07, 2014, 09:56:55 pm
Hey all,
I've collated the attachments I've put up so far in the very first post so they're in one easily accessed place to refer back to, rather than you having to trawl through all the other posts and comments.
Happy studying :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Einstein on April 12, 2014, 09:20:30 pm
Hey Lauren, in regards to a LA how do you go about approaching it? What do I do/what not to do? Is their a specific template / way you like to structure it?

Thanks
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 12, 2014, 11:04:27 pm
aha! I knew this would start soon, refer back to the very first post, I've attached a basic guide there. But be careful with the formulae; this goes for all essays, not just L.A. By all means check some how-to stuff to help, just know that the assessors are pretty good at identifying a formulaic template response when they see one, so use the guides for now, but as you build up your confidence you should try to move beyond them. I've also written quite a bit on here about the to dos/don'ts of L.A. and advice on paragraph structures, so consult them first. Feel free to ask any more questions if you're still unsure :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: zeiinaaa on April 12, 2014, 11:07:11 pm
Hey, do you possibly still have any of the essays you've written? I just want to see what kind of level of writing a person should be at, in order to achieve a high mark in English!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 13, 2014, 08:41:26 am
There are some in earlier threads but I'll repost to save you from going through every page: 3 Language Analysis (I figure that'll be the most help seeing as it's something everyone has to do, and there'll be different texts for the other two sections.)
There's one practice T.R. essay here too on Henry IV Part 1. I can only post 4 at a time, but there should be a Context example earlier in the thread.
Keep in mind though, most of these were from term 3 onwards when I started writing practice exams properly. Also since all of these were due pieces over holidays or weekends, I had time to ponder all my word choices and fix up mistakes; this was a higher standard than I was writing in SACs. Don't feel you have to turn the vocab up to 11 to earn a 50, understanding the task and the content is far more important :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Einstein on April 13, 2014, 09:58:39 am
Hey, there's 5 attachments in your first post should I download all?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: zeiinaaa on April 13, 2014, 10:22:57 am
Alright thankyou so much!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: zeiinaaa on April 13, 2014, 10:24:34 am
Sorry and just one more question, I'm having trouble knowing how many words or lines should the introduction be?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 13, 2014, 11:12:27 am
There's no real rule about word length per paragraph. I usually recommend 10% of the total word count (an 80 word intro for a 800 word essay, or 100 for 1000) but it's not as though the assessors are going to count. Suffice it to say you can cover the requirements of an intro in about 100 words, so don't cram in too much, but the real credit comes from the analytical discussion in the body paragraphs.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: zeiinaaa on April 13, 2014, 11:15:00 am
Oh fair enough, and yeah absolutely agree! Thankyou so much :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: yang_dong on April 13, 2014, 10:18:39 pm
Hi, I was wondering....

in the sentence: ‘dismantle[d] the Howard government’s hard-won border protection’ policies, in effect ‘turbocharged the people smuggling racket and lured asylum seekers…with the promise of open borders’.

How is the word 'hard - won' used? How does it effect the readers?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 14, 2014, 08:17:40 am
Hi, I was wondering....

in the sentence: ‘dismantle[d] the Howard government’s hard-won border protection’ policies, in effect ‘turbocharged the people smuggling racket and lured asylum seekers…with the promise of open borders’.

How is the word 'hard - won' used? How does it effect the readers?

'Hard-won' implies a great effort and determination was been put into the policy, thus portraying the Howard government as tenacious and hard-working. There is also a sense of loss in the government's policy being 'dismantled' like a machine that was hitherto perfectly functional; hence the audience are positioned to view the outcome as a step backwards for refugee policy, and the new situation as a sinister trap to 'lure' asylum seekers to our shores with false promises.

Hope that helps :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: yang_dong on April 14, 2014, 12:48:36 pm
Thank you so much...

I was just wondering if its the previous government that dismantled the current governments (Howard Government/Liberals) 'hard won' border protection... how would it position the readers then... because the article is trying to encourage readers to view the Left as hypocrites, (hence the title of the article is 'the hypocrites of the the Left').. to get the readers to be more in favour of the liberals????

im not sure...
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 14, 2014, 05:28:04 pm
I haven't read the article so it's hard to comment holistically, but I'd assume the author is critiquing the last Labour govt. for dismantling what the Howard govt. achieved, so like I said we're made to feel a sense of loss.
Think about the connotations of 'dismantled' too, not just 'hard-won.' It's as though the policy has been deliberately and methodically taken apart, so that nothing is left, when in fact the system was working fine. This contributes to (what I assume is) out overall impression of the Left as hypocrites as they're operating under a set of false 'promises' when in fact their actions have been to the detriment of refugee welfare and processing efficiency.
In short, yes, it seems the Liberals are comparatively favourable, or at least the Howard govt. was. Trust your judgement! If that's the way you feel having read the article and you can substantiate it with techniques and analysis, then there's little to stop you from getting good marks; it's not as though each phrase will have a set interpretation, it's all about evidence :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: yang_dong on April 14, 2014, 07:35:17 pm
oh ok, thank you :)

finally I was also wondering:

On the same topic, the quote ‘the opportunistic bleeding hearts who have been parading with their compassion all week’ (Referring to the Labour party)

How would i phrase this cause i want to say how by using the word 'parading' to describe how the Left are expressing their compassion, you wouldn't really associate 'parading' with compassion, cause its not like a happy occasion that should be celebrated? and thus readers feel... not sure how it would impact on readers... feels like the Left are not taking the issue seriously... ???
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: hyunah on April 14, 2014, 08:04:06 pm
Hello....
Can you please help me?
language analysis:
By informing readers that this tragedy ‘never should have happened’....
not sure how to finish the sentence i'm pretty sure there is an effect on the readers. The tragedy is the deaths of asylum seekrs trying to get here.

Thanks in advance
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 14, 2014, 08:30:25 pm
oh ok, thank you :)

finally I was also wondering:

On the same topic, the quote ‘the opportunistic bleeding hearts who have been parading with their compassion all week’ (Referring to the Labour party)

How would i phrase this cause i want to say how by using the word 'parading' to describe how the Left are expressing their compassion, you wouldn't really associate 'parading' with compassion, cause its not like a happy occasion that should be celebrated? and thus readers feel... not sure how it would impact on readers... feels like the Left are not taking the issue seriously... ???

'Parading' has little to do with compassion, that's part of the point. Parading connotes putting on a show, an elaborate, contrived production, in this case in an attempt to advertise their compassion. But compassion should need advertising, right? It should be altruistic; doing good for good's own sake, especially for a human rights issue. So we get the sense of the Labour party marching through the streets proclaiming victory for the party, when in fact there is a great deal of suffering behind the farce. It's not that they're not taking the issue seriously, more that they're exploiting human suffering for political purchase/gain.

Rather than trying to cram an interpretation into language, work in the opposite direction. Analyse the word or phrase in isolation (what does it normally make you think of?) then in the context of the issue (not the author's contention, yet.) What does this word/phrase connote? How does this make us view the issue?
THEN: why might the author have chosen this wording/phraseology in particular? How does this choice contribute to our thoughts/feelings towards the issue?
Eventually this process will occur in a much quicker, more fluid, almost automatic way, but for now, go through the process so you know what's required :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 14, 2014, 08:38:41 pm
Hello....
Can you please help me?
language analysis:
By informing readers that this tragedy ‘never should have happened’....
not sure how to finish the sentence i'm pretty sure there is an effect on the readers. The tragedy is the deaths of asylum seekrs trying to get here.

Thanks in advance

Same advice as above, look at the phrase in isolation, then contextualise it. If something 'never should have happened' we not only feel that the current situation is inadequate (that we can imagine a better one) but also that absolute 'should' infers there is someone in a position of power meant to prevent this 'tragedy.' It never should have happened because there are systems/people in charge of the situation, and if something went wrong this time, then other people are by definition at risk, as either the system or its caretakers are ill-equipped to handle things. (I'm using such vague words since I don't know what the 'tragedy' was in this case, but it shouldn't matter, this is just to give you a general view of the context.)

If you're pretty sure there's an effect on readers, work out what effect it has on you first. Some persuasive techniques might not be particularly effective, but you can still theorise about how you might be persuaded (eg. for me: 'It never should have happened'... it's not just bad, it's a violation of the natural order, this event was not only tragic, it was an anomaly which serves to shine the spotlight on a flawed system/rule/policy/individual)

Hope that helps.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: scandin9 on April 15, 2014, 04:48:43 pm
Hi,
My teacher says that my essays are often verbose and that my verbosity may be detrementel. Is verbosity something to avoid; or can minor verbosity in the exam help ?
Thanks in advance
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Paulrus on April 15, 2014, 05:16:31 pm
if your teacher is calling your essays verbose, it probably means that your word choice might not be as concise as it could be. a sophisticated level of language is needed to get the higher marks, but it definitely needs to be used in moderation - if you're including a lot of superfluous words, it could lead to clunky expression and the meaning you're trying to convey could be lost in the process.

basically, it's perfectly fine to show off your vocab, but don't use big words you're not comfortable with just for the sake of using them. it can make your writing feel a bit awkward, and like you said it could actually be detrimental to your scores. sometimes simple is better - focus on expressing your ideas concisely and clearly, and once you're comfortable with that, then you can definitely start to introduce some more advanced stuff to show off your creative flair  :)

(disclaimer - i'm not loz but hopefully this helps lol)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 15, 2014, 06:39:56 pm
^  +1  :)

Also based on my own experiences, some teachers will resent having to go to a dictionary just to read your work. It's all about striking the balance between showing off and not making the assessor feel dumb. If it's something you're teacher isn't a fan of, then tone it down for now, but keep building up your vocab so you have something in your back pocket come exam time.
Certain vocab is only useful when the word is relevant. Cramming in a word like prosopopoeia where it doesn't belong is going to annoy your marker more than an essay with nothing but basic terminology. You don't need these sorts of words, but they can expand your analytical abilities, so tread the line with caution.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Rishi97 on April 15, 2014, 10:10:26 pm
Hey Lauren
I have to write a practise essay on the following prompt from A Christmas Carol :
Does Scrooge change because he genuinely wants to become a better person or for selfish reasons?
I'm having a lot of trouble finding evidence so if you could get me started, that would be great.
Other suggestions welcome as well
Thanks :D
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: hyunah on April 15, 2014, 11:00:53 pm
Hi Lauren,

just following on the previous post, so considering that it 'never should have happened'...
There should have been no more detentions centres ‘bulging at the seams with unhappy people’, ‘no one left to riot. No asylum seekers dying at sea’. This argument is designed to construct an image of a happy ending that was cut short when Labor came into office.

I tried to take your advance into consideration, but then i'm stuck on the: why might the author have chosen this wording/phraseology in particular? How does this choice contribute to our thoughts/feelings towards the issue? part
Cause ive already said before that it criticises the Labor party as a detriment and a 'sole cause' for the tragic deaths of those at sea.
I had to separate this to another paragraph cause i wanted to talk about sympathy and how its used compared to the other text (i'm doing a comparative language analysis) if i continued this in the previous paragraph it would have been too long.

So i'm a little lost on what to write to continue the sentence. How can i phrase it?

Thank you :)

Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: yang_dong on April 15, 2014, 11:21:42 pm
Hey Lauren,

I've tried to write this taking into your consideration.. thank you.. it actually does work... thank you

but

praising the Right as mature ‘grownups’ who handled the refugee situation so that ‘not a single boat has arrived in Australia for 68 days and counting’. In here, Devine...

i'm not sure how to write it cause i want to say something along the lines of... it presents them as 'they know what they are doing as the "adults"... capable/efficient/able (cause i've used that too many times and i checked the thesaurus it comes up with words like experience, skilful talented etc...  but that doesn't really fit in my context) - this is for the last bit of your tip: why might the author have chosen this wording/phraseology in particular? How does this choice contribute to our thoughts/feelings towards the issue?

Or is there another connotation for you?

Thank you
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: smile+energy on April 16, 2014, 02:38:47 pm
Hi, Lauren

could you explain to me what are the differences between loaded language and connotation? And also denigration and attack?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 16, 2014, 09:11:27 pm
Rishi,
I've posted on similar topics before, and there's also a blog post here http://www.vcestudyguides.com/tips-for-responding-to-text-response-prompts
about deconstructing T.R. prompts that might be of use. Don't focus on the evidence yet, plan out your arguments and then support them. Good essays will revolve around thematic points rather than one example per paragraph to support a basic premise. If you're still stuck, give me a general direction to work with or your own opinion to build arguments around and we'll go from there.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 16, 2014, 09:36:10 pm
hyunah and yang_dong,
You both seem to be having a similar problem so I'll clarify:
''why might the author have chosen this wording/phraseology in particular? How does this choice contribute to our thoughts/feelings towards the issue?"

For example, an author might write: "The ongoing war between the government and special interest groups regarding the issue of __ has divided the local community." (<-- very bland sentence btw. you wouldn't use this in an actual essay)
Why has the author chosen 'war' in particular. There are many other words he could have chosen: dispute, conflict, disagreement, clash, quibble. Yet he chose war, with its connotations of bloody battle and global consequences. In this case his word choice is hyperbolic, since there is no official war between these two groups; the author merely attempts to exaggerate the degree of fervour surrounding this issue.
He could have said 'quibble,' connoting a petty and insignificant disagreement, which would have inferred the issue is not worth discussing. Or he could have written 'an arduous, tiresome crusade on behalf of these activists' which sets up the group as brave and resolute.
Not every word will be this obvious, and not every word is important. But often you can work out where to take your argument based on how the author is positioning the readers through language at word-level.

You're on the right track with the connotations, but the problem doesn't seem to be phrasing, just the idea behind it. How does the author want us to think/feel? And how do you know this? That's pretty much all you have to answer.
Beyond that, I don't know much about the issue/articles to comment on either of your pieces but

hyunah: the author isn't focusing on the happy ending, he's using double negatives, sort of. 'Back then, no one was suffering': implying that they are now. He draws these parallels between what was and what is, in order to draw attention to the backward progress we have made. etc.

yang-dong: if you've written the same synonyms too often, then you've probably made the same point too many times too. Group persuasive devices, don't go through articles chronologically because you'll end up with a mess of an essay. In this instance, yes, the Liberals are better equipped to deal with the issue but that's not all this sentence does. Look at the implication, if Liberals are adults what does that make Labour? (A: childish, petulant, naive, puerile etc.)

Hope that helps.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Bestie on April 16, 2014, 09:44:15 pm
Hello Lauren,

If the quote was: 'his traditional response when challenged with error is to deny culpability, minimize the seriousness of the issue or attempt to discredit any one making allegations'

What's the impact of the word 'traditional'?

Doesn't it make his actions feel like its well established and well known that he has always been like this, it's like he is irresponsible and trying to ignore the issue which is a contradiction to his role as prime minister and thus readers are positioned to view the prime minister as inadequate and poses for change? Is that how you see it too?

Oh btw this is just an exercise we had to do for how analyse the quote, so no actual writer contention issue etc... But the there is like a little background knowledge. This was said in a speech by a protestor against the government.

Thank you thank you
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 16, 2014, 09:47:00 pm
smile+energy,

Loaded language refers to words that evoke emotions or make you feel something.
The connotations of a word are what you think about when you hear that word.
To use the above example, 'war' is a very loaded term. It has connotations of suffering, bloodshed, death and despair.
Basically, loaded language is language that has strong connotations.

Easiest way to differentiate 'denigrate' from 'attack': If I attacked you, I'd walk up to you and call you ugly. If I denigrated you, I'd go up to someone else and say 'my god, look at that guy, isn't he ugly!?'
Although technically that second example is an attack too, it's not a direct attack because I'm not saying it to your face, I'm saying it through someone else. Both are quite common in Language Analysis.
:)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: hyunah on April 16, 2014, 09:54:42 pm
and thus the writer emphasise on her concerns for those 'unhappy people' aims to elicit sympathy from readers to urgently act and reverse the backward trend???
is there a way to improve that???
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 16, 2014, 09:56:17 pm
Bestie,

This is a good example of needing to look at a word in context, not just in isolation.
Normally 'tradition' is a good thing, it's quite often a key appeal for authors; 'this is the way it's been done before and so we should continue to do it that way.' And here, as you rightly noted, his response is well established or predictable.
But that's not all folks.
This is meant to evoke contempt. His 'traditional' response is what he does often, to the point where it becomes habit, he's not thinking he just falls back upon tradition. In conjunction with that tricolon of jargon "deny culpability, minimize the seriousness of the issue or attempt to discredit any one making allegations" almost sets him up as an automated teller-responder or flow chart (don't write this :P I'm just trying to explain it.)
It seems like you're on the right track, just follow the same advice as above, what are we meant to think or feel when reading this?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Bestie on April 16, 2014, 10:05:25 pm
Hi Lauren....

Thank you thank you so much...
Hehehe love your but that's not all folks :)

So being his automatic response it's like he doesn't even bother to assess the situation and thereby readers provoked into agreeing that he is not suitable as prime minister.

Can I write that in the essay?

Once again, thank you :)

You're a life saver :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 16, 2014, 10:06:33 pm
and thus the writer emphasise emphasises on her concerns for those 'unhappy people' and aims to elicit sympathy from readers (redundant, we know who she's eliciting sympathy from) to urgently act and reverse the backward trend take what action? reverse what trend? Maybe you've covered this in earlier sentences, but this is still a bit vague. How exactly are we inclined to think/feel?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 16, 2014, 10:09:48 pm
No worries Bestie,
And yes, you probably could write that so long as your own opinion doesn't come into play. If, objectively, you think the author makes the PM out to be unsuitable then of course you can write that; it's probably highly likely in this case. But you need to support those statements with evidence. Those sorts of inferences are usually achieved through a variety of techniques, not just a single sentence in isolation. Even writing 'this contributes to readers' overall impressions of Tony Abbott (I'm assuming?) as...' would be sufficient :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: hyunah on April 16, 2014, 10:13:54 pm
oh... i thought i did that with the concern for the unhappy people and elicit sympathy is how they are inclined to feel???
no???
not right???
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Bestie on April 16, 2014, 10:21:20 pm
Thank you thank you so so much :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Dahello on April 16, 2014, 10:27:03 pm
Hi
Urgent help plz...

Is it a language technique for the writer to seem like he is talking directly to a certain group of people it's targeting... Eg it is written and read by general public but then end by seemingly targeting a group of people who promise to act better but have not done so: 'if he is true to his words, we would like to see what that entails'

Is that a technique and if so what is the purpose? Is there an effect?

Thx ;)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Yacoubb on April 16, 2014, 10:55:42 pm
Hi
Urgent help plz...

Is it a language technique for the writer to seem like he is talking directly to a certain group of people it's targeting... Eg it is written and read by general public but then end by seemingly targeting a group of people who promise to act better but have not done so: 'if he is true to his words, we would like to see what that entails'

Is that a technique and if so what is the purpose? Is there an effect?

Thx ;)

Well you could possibly say that it's an appeal to guilt? So that the writer is addressing a certain group (e.g. parents amidst the general public) and appealing to their guilt, which then compels them to act better, etc.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 17, 2014, 07:48:23 am
Hi
Urgent help plz...

Is it a language technique for the writer to seem like he is talking directly to a certain group of people it's targeting... Eg it is written and read by general public but then end by seemingly targeting a group of people who promise to act better but have not done so: 'if he is true to his words, we would like to see what that entails'

Is that a technique and if so what is the purpose? Is there an effect?

Thx ;)

He's not exactly talking directly to them, this is just a combination of inclusive language and speaking on behalf of a populace. By asserting the collective 'we' are being let down by his falsity/empty promises (I'm not too sure about the context here) his audience are inclined to side with him in this subtle attack. In some sense he dichotomises (ie. makes a division between) himself and the person he's attacking, and positions the audience on his side, thus adding strength and the weight of popular support to his argument.
^This is just a general explanation, you should reword all this to suit the situation, of course :)

Apologies if I've misunderstood this, could you give me the general background info (who is speaking to whom about what?) if you need more help.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: smile+energy on April 17, 2014, 10:09:50 am
smile+energy,

Loaded language refers to words that evoke emotions or make you feel something.
The connotations of a word are what you think about when you hear that word.
To use the above example, 'war' is a very loaded term. It has connotations of suffering, bloodshed, death and despair.
Basically, loaded language is language that has strong connotations.

Easiest way to differentiate 'denigrate' from 'attack': If I attacked you, I'd walk up to you and call you ugly. If I denigrated you, I'd go up to someone else and say 'my god, look at that guy, isn't he ugly!?'
Although technically that second example is an attack too, it's not a direct attack because I'm not saying it to your face, I'm saying it through someone else. Both are quite common in Language Analysis.
:)

Haha.... :D
Thanks Lauren.
That really makes sense.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: TheTreeOctopus on April 17, 2014, 08:41:56 pm
Hey Lauren!

Firstly, thanks so much for this amazing resource. :D
Secondly, I noticed you mentioned that reading Academic Journals could improve our vocabulary and expression.
I assume you aren't referring to scientific journals such as Nature or Science, but rather humanities orientated journals?
Could you please either links to where I can find such journals or the names of these journals.

Thanks.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Patches on April 18, 2014, 01:17:16 pm
Hey Lauren!

Firstly, thanks so much for this amazing resource. :D
Secondly, I noticed you mentioned that reading Academic Journals could improve our vocabulary and expression.
I assume you aren't referring to scientific journals such as Nature or Science, but rather humanities orientated journals?
Could you please either links to where I can find such journals or the names of these journals.

Thanks.
Not the OP, but try and find critical essays on your specific texts. This is obviously going to be dependent on what your particular texts are, but if you're doing something like Henry IV or A Christmas Carol which has been discussed for a long period of time, have a look on google scholar. Otherwise look for books on your particular book - again for Shakespeare, Dickens etc there will be plenty (try the state library - it's worth it because you'll find ideas nobody else in your class will have even thought about). Look on The Age's education page - there are 'text talk' articles on a lot of the VCE english texts which are useful.

Jstor is another great tool for finding articles similar to google scholar.


A lot of this is really dependent on the books you're studying - unfortunately some will have a lot of critical material and others very little. Send me a PM if you're having trouble finding anything.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 18, 2014, 03:34:22 pm
^Pretty much says it all :)

When I first started looking for articles I had no idea what databases to search. A bit of simple google browsing returned some, just typing in your text title +article or +journal is usually a good start. If it's something that's been on the reading lists for awhile (3 or 4 years) then you'll probably find a lot more, though much of it will be basic study guide level stuff you'll probably cover in class anyway. But if it's a relatively new text then you might struggle, in which case look for general thematic points instead. There are quite a few feminist texts (esp. films) on the list this year, so familiarise yourself with the different waves of feminism or find accounts written during/about the time of the text. For the Australian works you'll usually be able to get a lot of information about the author, and if they're still alive you might even find a website they run. See if you can find some of their other works if they're relevant/interesting. A few of the Section A texts form part of series or at least have books that give context to the story. Google scholar is an excellent resource, but if you don't find anything there then widen your gaze to what the text contains. For any story set in a specific point in history, there are usually significant differences between the fiction and the reality. Background research can be just as valuable. One of my T.R. texts was about the plague in the late 1600s, so I ended up reading Defoe's 'Journal of the Plague year' plus a few articles about that book.

There are so many journals, you're better off searching by text and then finding what works for you :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Bestie on April 18, 2014, 09:26:00 pm
Hi lauren,
can you please help me?
so for hw I have to analyse this quote, its just a sentence: 'sorry, but we don't get to be outrages at this. The fact that a person is dead, that another has been shot or that yet another has a fractured skull doesn't change anything'. the only background knowledge that I'm given is that the writer is trying to contend that detention centres are intentionally made as a place of 'horror', worse than what they fled their country for. the article is here: http://www.smh.com.au/comment/the-whole-point-of-detention-for-asylum-seekers-is-horror-whether-it-is-acknowledged-or-not-20140220-333yw.html but we just have to analyse how it starts and ends for now. cause apparently the choices made when a writer starts or finishes an article is very important.

So what I've done so far is:
- we inclusive language to get audience feeling involved with the issue. However, the fact that 'we don't get to be outraged at this', gets readers thinking why their freedom is restricting, catching the attention of the reader
- 'doesn't change anything' - even if there 'is a person is dead, that another has been shot or that yet another has a fractured skull', to us doesn't make the situation any worse, portraying society as inhumane and gets readers feeling guilty. Is that right?

What do you think?

and lastly for the ending quote: 'The truth is we've never really come to terms with why it is people get on boats, and why it is that, faced with hopeless inaction once they're detained, they protest. In fact, our public conversation isn't even terribly interested in knowing. That's why, when we do finally discover the facts of Manus, they will mean nothing.
cause we won't act to change anything or improve anyways? does this has the intended effect of shaming readers who oppose him and encourages readers to change their ways?

Thank you Thank you so so much
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Dahello on April 18, 2014, 09:34:41 pm
Thanks Lauren and yacoubb,

Help very appreciated  :D

Can i ask something else?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: cute on April 18, 2014, 09:52:39 pm
How do you suggest someone improve from a 16/20 text response to a 20/20 by the end of year 12?? Thanks :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Dahello on April 18, 2014, 09:58:18 pm
OMG Bestie are you doing the walked aly article too?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Bestie on April 18, 2014, 10:00:07 pm
pardon?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Dahello on April 18, 2014, 10:01:08 pm
Waleed sorry... Autotype
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Bestie on April 18, 2014, 10:14:09 pm
um... yes :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Dahello on April 18, 2014, 10:19:52 pm
Great!
I wanted to ask. These quotes dont really make sense.
'We're banking on it'
'Lets make this calculus finally explicit'
'Whatever these people are fleeing, whatever circumstance makes them think they'd be better off chancing death on boats hardly worthy of that description, we must offer them something worse' - what did they mean when they said hardly worthy of that description.?

Thanks
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Bestie on April 18, 2014, 10:28:27 pm
um...
'we're banking on it' - banking to me seems like investments... so investing in it for profit in the future (profit being no more asylum seekers?) I'm not sure I was only told to analyse the start and finish of article...
'let's make this calculus finally explicit' - the key word here I think is calculus, its related to maths so this 'intentionally making detention centres as a place of horror' is methodically calculated and assessed? implications being that we planned this through without considering the asylum seekers?
the hardly worthy description - maybe cause there is a higher probability of dying in the detention centres that on the boats? I'm not sure

Maybe that helps????
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Dahello on April 18, 2014, 10:29:46 pm
Thanks.
Please Lauren, what do you think?

Thanks
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 18, 2014, 10:48:31 pm
Dahello & Bestie, I'll address your concerns together:
To clarify: this contention isn't just that detention centres are horrible places, it's a commentary on the reaction of the general public to deaths in custody as opposed to deaths at sea in boat accidents. He questions the imbalance of outrage over one death compared to another, and regards this as an almost sadistic catharsis.


Bestie: with regards to your analysis, those are some good starting points, but you need to clarify the contention^ before you launch into discussion. Focus on his critique of the masses; Aly isn't talking so much about asylum seekers as he is talking about the asylum seeker debate. Or, more specifically: the public's acknowledgement of horror (link to the title.)
The start and end may be important (and if that's your task then focus on them) but you shouldn't ignore the rest of the article, as it provides much needed context to help work out what the contention and general appeals are. Have another look at those phrases with this in mind and tell me if you need more help.


Dahello: those phrases:
is a phrase that means the same thing as 'we're counting on it' or 'we're relying on it.' In this case, we're relying on the conditions at Manus island to be atrociously inhumane to deter refugees from seeking asylum.
Dont know why he calls it calculus...maybe because he was talking about Greek tragedy...? Anyway, he's saying let's bring this discussion to the forefront of media discourse, rather than ignore the issue. You could comment on this mathematical terminology as a critique of the government;s view of people as numbers rather than individual humans I suppose, beyond that I'm not sure.
ie. boats that aren't even worth calling boats. This refers to the poor/dangerous standard of transport used by asylum seekers.


Let me know if you need clarification on any of that :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 18, 2014, 10:55:32 pm
How do you suggest someone improve from a 16/20 text response to a 20/20 by the end of year 12?? Thanks :)

I can't really comment without having read your work. Look at your teacher's comments, first and foremost. There are many different reasons why you aren't getting full marks. Are your ideas lacking sufficient development? Is your structure a bit messy? Simplistic vocab? For Text Response you might not be 'engaging' with the text as much as they want. This might be more of a 'how to move from 19/20 to 20/20 question' but to earn full marks you need to argue for a sustained interpretation of the text. The extent to which you are able to do this will be dependent on the prompt, and it's the sort of thing that's developed throughout the year, not instantaneously.
What sort of feedback have you gotten on your SACs/practice pieces? I'd recommend you start there :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: cute on April 18, 2014, 11:12:28 pm
I can't really comment without having read your work. Look at your teacher's comments, first and foremost. There are many different reasons why you aren't getting full marks. Are your ideas lacking sufficient development? Is your structure a bit messy? Simplistic vocab? For Text Response you might not be 'engaging' with the text as much as they want. This might be more of a 'how to move from 19/20 to 20/20 question' but to earn full marks you need to argue for a sustained interpretation of the text. The extent to which you are able to do this will be dependent on the prompt, and it's the sort of thing that's developed throughout the year, not instantaneously.
What sort of feedback have you gotten on your SACs/practice pieces? I'd recommend you start there :)
Thank you so much :)
I've gotten feedback mainly concerning my inability to quote comprehensively and that I need to improve my clarity of expression.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Dahello on April 19, 2014, 03:23:08 pm
thank thanks thank you thank you so much :)

Can i ask just two more quotes i didn't get:
- 'this tragedy is not any kind of evidence of policy failure. It is, in fact, the very best form of deterrence. This is what it looks like when the
policy works.'
is this quote used to mock the government policies as inhumane and unjust, that these policies we form are made intentionally to act as what many should consider as a failure. The impact of this on readers is to elicit disaproval and encourages them to be outraged. used to reinforce that idea that we are taking pride in it, that we think there is nothing wrong with it and in fact it is where we want to be.

-'Through it all we maintain the heroic ability to exonerate ourselves through the fiction that we played no part in their misery, or that those who riot are immorally cynical. But the cynicism is ours.'
'heroic ability' doesn't seem like a 'heroic' thing to do.. so mockery? sarcastic? to encourage readers to see the filmsy logic in the situation.
'fiction' we don't see the reality, to us its all just like a story that we can't take seriously. We are the villians yet we don't know it?
the last bit just reinforce everything.

i'm a little lost at the heroic bit? sometimes it feels like the writer is trying to relate to us by using everyday terms like 'calculus' and 'heroic' that aren't related to what he is trying to convey....

Thanks so much...
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: yang_dong on April 19, 2014, 03:49:33 pm
Hi,
This may sound a little weird but what are the connotations associated with emotional FART???

as in 'emotional flatulence and sanctimonious hypocrisy' - i'm still doing the same topic as the first post - about the Left being full of emotional flatulence and sanctimonious hypocrisy after the death of Berati, who came to australia after the Left 'dismantled the border protection policies and giving false promises to these aslyum seekers.

It's seems funny :)

and lastly, i wrote a paragraph and sent it to the teacher, she gave it back to me with feedback, but she said in the sentence: 'This criticism is continued as readers are informed that the Left have 'dismantled the Howard Governments hard won border protection' policies, in effect 'turbocharged the people smuggling racket and lured asylum seekers with the promise of open borders' - she says i have to consider the impact of words such as 'people smuggling RACKET' and 'lured' suggesting the effect of the choice of these words rather than pinpointing the obvious and restating, cause that i wrote later in the paragraph: 'Hence the audience are positioned to view the outcome as a step backwards for refugee policy, and as a sinister trap to 'lure' asylum seekers to our shores.' apparently that aint enough :( -
racket is like an out break of a problem that we can't control?
lure? makes the aylum seekers appear vulnerable and guilible - putting al this trust on us?

I read your helen day one, damn that was good :)

Thank you in advance
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: haha_ on April 19, 2014, 04:22:56 pm
hello,
do you happen to have any sample comparative language analysis? I'm having difficulty of how to structure it.

Thanks
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 19, 2014, 05:40:58 pm
Thank you so much :)
I've gotten feedback mainly concerning my inability to quote comprehensively and that I need to improve my clarity of expression.

When quoting, if you remove the quotation marks from the sentence, it should still read properly
eg:
This is best illustrated by Rodger's condemnation of the government as "rude and deceitful"  : correct
Rodger is dismissive of the government's new plan: "they're rude and decietful"  : incorrect

Though technically that second example isn't grammatically wrong, doing this more than once or twice in an essay makes it seem like you don't know how to integrate quotes fluently.

In terms of clarity of expression, start building up your vocab now (I'm a big advocate of this, though don't force words into essays if they don't fit.) Also, you might find it helpful to practice self-editing. Reread your work and see if you pick up on the mistakes you make. If you do, then great! Work out how best to fix them, and keep doing this until it becomes automatic as you write. If you don't notice them, however, go see your teacher and ask him/her to explain why exactly your expression was unclear. Are your sentences too long/run ons? Are you using a word or two incorrectly? Maybe your idea just isn't coming across very well? Don't worry, it's good that you know what you're doing wrong, and you've got ages to improve :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 19, 2014, 05:50:21 pm
Dahello,
Yes on both counts, I think you've got the hang of it. Don't second guess yourself so much: if you can justify your analysis then it's probably right (though of course, there is no 'right' answer in English :P)
Both of your explanations were relevant and plausible; that's all you need. It's not as though assessors will mark you down for interpreting a text slightly differently either. So long as you can discuss why readers could realistically be persuaded by such techniques and/or language you should be fine.

I'm still not sure about calculus, but I think 'heroic' is easier to understand. We are naturally inclined to make ourselves out to be the heroes in any given circumstance, thus robbing us of the ability to  see our own flaws and wrongdoings. In this instance the Australian govt. is doing something incredibly inhumane, so 'heroic' is laced with irony.

This seems like a pretty hard article to work with, I can see why there's so much confusion  :P
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 19, 2014, 06:04:48 pm
yang_dong:

Emotional flatulence: there's a phrase I didn't think I'd be using today. Definitely comical, although given the circumstances I'd say it's more mocking than anything else. I guess the implication here is that the govt. aren't genuinely compassionate, it's more of a cathartic expulsion from their system.
Racket: usually connotes noise, but in this instance it's used to describe a group of people in a way that suggests them to be unorganised and unofficial; that their operation is far less coordinated than the govt's policies, and yet they're being 'turbocharged' by Aus' ineptitude...
Lure: fishing terminology, therefore asylum seekers are like animals entrapped by the bait of open borders. To continue the metaphor, fish still get to eat the bait, but there's a great big hook hidden behind it, and ultimately this leads to a lot of suffering for them ie. being eaten. So in this case, our borders are "open" in that refugees can technically be on Australian soil, but they're in what is essentially a prison for an indefinite amount of time in squalid living conditions, etc.
^Obviously you wouldn't write all this in an essay, but you're teacher is right: you should be looking to analyse at word-level at least once in every essay :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 19, 2014, 06:08:08 pm
hello,
do you happen to have any sample comparative language analysis? I'm having difficulty of how to structure it.

Thanks
haha_:
Check the first page of this thread. I've put a general guide for structure in the very first post, and there's also a few practices towards the start (not sure where exactly but they should be marked in bold (or at least a massive text dump which should stand out) :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: yang_dong on April 19, 2014, 06:33:39 pm
thanks lauren,
you're the best :) ;D
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: asdfqwerty on April 19, 2014, 06:55:45 pm
Hey literally lauren,

I have to analyse a cartoon and i was just wondering if you give me a deeper insight. It would help me a lot!!!!

http://www.smh.com.au/photogallery/national/cartoons-for-tuesday-25th-march-2014-20140324-35dll.html

of the 8 avaliable cartoons - its the fourth one

portrays Australia as a bad country

contention: Immigration Minister Scott Morrison and Abbott are trying to hide publicising their association with the deaths at manus island - portraying them as guilty - their faces look angry (so publicity is not want they want)

'no one would ever want to come to australia' - implying that Australia as a whole is just as bad as Morrison and Abbott's refugee policies - ridicule Australia into guilt and acting otherwise

the set up looks something like an interview - Morrison and Abbott each have a pile of notes in front of them compared to the guy talking - and they all have their eyes on him. - don't think the interview set up has any impact though.

they are all wearing blue ties - symbolising all from liberal party - dont think that has any implications either....

is that the contention?

thanks :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 19, 2014, 07:58:16 pm
contention: Immigration Minister Scott Morrison and Abbott are trying to hide publicising their association with the deaths at manus island - portraying them as guilty - their faces look angry (so publicity is not want they want)

'no one would ever want to come to australia' - implying that Australia as a whole is just as bad as Morrison and Abbott's refugee policies - ridicule Australia into guilt and acting otherwise

Double tick (if I knew how) for the contention, that's bang on. But I think you can go a bit further...
The 'interview' set up isn't too critical, apart from the fact that there's a clear two-against-one scenario, which suggests Morrison/Abbott are bullying their people, even if they aren't doing it overtly. I wouldn't read too much into the ties either, but the connection between the policy and the nation is a very important one. By equating the two, the cartoonist infers that the way people regard the policy is the same as the way they regard our country. Thus, the audience is more inclined to desire a policy that accurately reflects our national values of compassion, a fair go for all... etc.
You're definitely on the right track. It's a pretty pithy little cartoon, so you've picked out all the important parts :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: asdfqwerty on April 19, 2014, 09:23:34 pm
hehehe thank you lauren !!!

i was thinking: where in the cartoon did you pick up the message: 'By equating the two, the cartoonist infers that the way people regard the policy is the same as the way they regard our country.' is it in what the boy says?

thank you :) once again, i can't tell you how thank you i am :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 20, 2014, 10:26:39 am
Yes, it was in what the boy says, but it's more of an implication than an overt equation.
The government's policy was designed to stop (the "wrong" sort of) people from coming here, which has lead to a seemingly anti-tourist agenda. The boy comically misinterprets the as a success: "No one will want to come here." So if the policy has lead to this unflattering regard for Australian tourism, then the policy must be the root of the problem (this is actually a logical fallacy, but oh well)
In mathematical terms:
Negative image <-- policy
∴ policy ⊆ negative image
If negative image = bad
∴ policy = bad
The author equates these two things with the intention of convincing readers that if we which to change the national image we project, we must change the policy. etc. etc.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Yacoubb on April 20, 2014, 12:21:15 pm
Hey literally lauren,

When did you start studying for the exam? Mid, early, end term 2/3??
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Bestie on April 20, 2014, 09:43:05 pm
Hi Lauren,

Thank you for all the help you have given me :)

In regards to the Waleed article... but if the author is trying to assert readers that this tragedy is fate: 'Tragedy in the Greek sense, unfolds as inevitably'... what is the purpose... isn;t it like saying oh there's no point doing anything now cause its all set/cemented we can't avoid it... which is sorta the opposite to what many writers try to do: get their readers to act in a manner that serves their contention. I'm just a little confused at what the author is trying to do with his contention (it seems like im still a little stuck on the contention - we are the ones creating these tragedies by making the dentention centres a place of horror and we are inhumane in that we may respond to the one that died in the centre (although the response aint that great either, we acknowledge it but don't act), but what about those dying at sea?) is there a better way to rewrite, if i'm right?.

It seems contradictory: 'we don't get to be outraged because this violence, with its brutal, deadly consequences, is inherent' but the next line 'we choose it, even if we refuse at every stage to acknowledge it' If its inherent, its permanent, one cant really choose it??? I'm so lost.

I know most of the article is about mocking the readers into feeling a sense of guilt cause a) we acknowledge that its not the way to go, that its horror to them but don't act b) to think differently of the policies and traditions of Australia (fair go) that we take pride in yet don't enforce (hypocrites)...

and lastly, in your previous comment 'Focus on his critique of the masses' what did you mean by 'masses'?

Thank you for this lost little lamb.... :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: tiff_tiff on April 20, 2014, 11:15:29 pm
hello,
language analysis help:
not sure what the contention of this short piece is. At first i thought the contention is that the violence in detention centres is due to the certain asylum seekers themselves 'evident in the last sentences: 'They are not going to blame the government for what happened off the coast of PNG. They will hold the ringleaders of the Manus Island violence responsible and argue that there are plenty of other people who are, or have been, in detention, and never rioted in such a way.'

but then i feel like i'm ignoring the abbott and labor bit in the middle, 'One of the reasons support for Prime Minister Tony Abbott has stabilised is that asylum seeker boats have stopped. Whether you voted for Tony Abbott or not, that was his number one election promise; that he would stop the boats. The promise included offshore processing to make sure that people who arrive here unlawfully can’t beat the system.' - this 'Austraia's shame day' is what we elected and that if their is anyone to blame it should be us? which sorta of contradicts what i said in the first paragraph...

i also didn't get what they meant by: 'An existing situation has simply been continued.' the situation is? labor gov. actions is now the liberals problem too?

plz help me....
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Einstein on April 20, 2014, 11:46:15 pm
great thread  ;D
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Dahello on April 21, 2014, 01:29:25 am
THANK YOU.... (i would say i love you but that would be awks hehehe)

With the title of the article: 'the whole point of detention for asylum seekers is horror, whether it is acknowledged or not' i'm trying to analyse that.
The only thing ive come up with so far is: Even on the outset, the writer's use of 'horror' attempts to shock readers of the conditions in detention centres. By entering the discussion with details, 'a person is dead, that another has been shot or that yet another has a fractured skull' alerts readers of the situation.
I'll add later in the body paragraph about the 'doesn't change anything' cause it links with the ending and other part of the article ' they will mean nothing' about how we know about it, but we don't act - i'll talk about that idea in the 2nd apragraph. The first is about the idea of unjust treatment towards asylum seekers and that there is obviously something wrong for them to riot, drawing on sympathy...

As you can tell the only thing i got from the heading is 'horror' nothing else... it feels like there is some effect from 'whole point' - its like horror is the only thing we focus on, not their actual wellbeing??? but thats not really explicit in the article
and the 'whether its acknowledged or not' seems like there is a purpose to why the writer would have added that in cause otherwise the title is ok without it. its talking about how its reality, we can't change it and so readers are positioned to feel challenged to change it??? i dunno i guessed???

and the opening 'sorry we don't get to be outraged at this' is this like directly talking to the audience in order to get them involved in the issue - invites readers attention

What do you think about the heading? and the two sentence beginning?

Thank you

English is so hard :(

but thank you so much... you make it alot more do-able :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 21, 2014, 10:38:04 am
Yacoubb,

hmm.. well ultimately everything you do throughout the year is supposedly practice for the exam. If you're asking when I started doing practice essays under time (~1 hour per essay give or take) then probably not till term two, though my school had pretty tough SAC conditions, so I had to start early to get through the year :p Middle of the year seems like a good estimate, but this will vary from student to student. If you're like me and still unsure of the structural requirements or nuances of each essay type by Term 2, you may need to spend more time doing study of a different kind. Whereas if you've had good teachers up till now, and you know exactly what you're meant to be doing, then it's just a matter of refining your ability through practice essays. Obviously this isn't all you'll be doing in any case, but you should assess your ability before jumping into a study regiment.

'Study of a different kind' was something I found much more beneficial. Reading heaps, both external stuff and past students' essays was always a big help, and I also found my classmates could offer... alternative study. A couple of us used to have long arguments about characters' motivations in out T.R. texts, or about why one approach to the context was nowhere near as good as another. Sounds weird, but for us this was a form of expressing ideas that didn't require spending an hour in exam conditions churning out an essay. Simply formulating ideas and opinions helped us a lot down the track, and this was something we could do with people of all abilities. Sometimes we might be helping someone who was struggling (best way to learn is to teach!) Other times we'd get teachers involved and force their opinions out of them  :P

Basically, it depends what you mean by 'study.' I wasn't doing practice exams (of my own volition) till mid term three, but our SACs were almost identical to the exam conditions, so perhaps you might want to start sooner. At least look over some papers from 2009/10 to familiarise yourself with the format, then leave the others for actual content practice later.

The metaphor I always use is, like any of the maths/science subjects, you can't prepare for an exam/ do practice exams before knowing the formulae, definitions, and content. Your notes might count as preparation, and the revision you do throughout the year might be 'study' for some people, but English is one of those subjects where the way you study is entirely dependent on your skill.

tl;dr: it depends what you're ready for. Don't feel you ahve to rush it, just concentrate on learning the content and exam skills should fall into place as you go :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 21, 2014, 10:54:37 am
Bestie,
It's a tragic inevitability if we continue down the path we're on. So in a roundabout way, he is actually galvanising readers into action.
Your contention was close, but I'd say it's less about asylum seekers and more about the public/masses' reaction to the situation. The key is in the first few lines: "We don't get to be outraged by this..." He suggests these deaths to be natural consequences of our policy, therefore we can't let the government continue to enact these laws and then complain when the system 'works.' It's not something inherent to humanity or Australian culture, it's just inherent in the system/policy. Basically he thinks it's hypocritical to be upset over these deaths when objectively, it's an integral part of the policy. He then goes on to criticise both parties "...bipartisan bollocks..." and their denial over this issue.
Hope that helps :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: zeiinaaa on April 21, 2014, 02:53:53 pm
Hey Lauren, off topic here! But I was just wondering what other subjects did you do besides English? And did you get really high marks in them?
And plus did you have a specific study routine?
Sorry about all the questions, I'm just curious :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 21, 2014, 04:16:43 pm
tiff_tiff:
This contention is overwhelmingly politically motivated, so don't ignore "the abbott and labour bit in the middle." This guy is defending Tony Abbott from his critics, suggesting they are completely misinformed about the issue. Abbott has fulfilled his election promise to stop the boats, and the argument about offshore processing being his fault is wrong, since it was the Labour govt. who started all this.
(I'm not endorsing any of this, it's just this guy's slightly nutty contention.)
So... he too is blaming the misdirection of public discourse for the lack of understanding surrounding this issue. Another relatively ambiguous text, so I understand your confusion :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 21, 2014, 04:25:16 pm
Dahello,
There's much more than horror in that title.
You've analysed the word horror in isolation, but put it in context. If the point of something is horror, then that thing should be horrific to us. So from the outset, the author is highlighting the public's hypocrisy in supporting a system but being outraged at its results. Also the "acknowledgement" is the cornerstone for his argument. Remember, we're not debating whether the policy is right or wrong, he's just arguing about the public's hypocritical reactions to all this. So, the implication is, whether we're aware of it or not, this policy is objectively horrifying, but that's not what the public discourse is about.
You seem to be on the right track with the first part of the article so I'll leave that for you. Just stop second guessing yourself and go for what you can argue. If you've got valid evidence for why a certain technique might persuade people in a certain way, then it's probably a valid point to make.
Good luck!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: tiff_tiff on April 21, 2014, 04:30:32 pm
THANK YOU SO MUCH... YOU ARE A WONDERFUL PERSON FOR HELPING SO MANY PPL IN NEED OF HELP...

sorry but i'm still slightly confused, if the contention is that the public lack understanding surrounding the issue and then blaming it on the Liberals when it was in fact the Labor that started it all... what about the last bit of the article...'They are not going to blame the government for what happened off the coast of PNG. They will hold the ringleaders of the Manus Island violence responsible and argue that there are plenty of other people who are, or have been, in detention, and never rioted in such a way.' that's like stating the opposite... this article is confusing :(

thank you for helping me get through this short yet hard article
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 21, 2014, 04:46:41 pm
zeiinaaa:

My study scores were:
English: [50]
Lit: [46 ->47 yay for high aggregates! I was still robbed though...]
Art: [44 raw, down to 39 or something, scaled out of my top 4]
Indo: [37 damn oral exam >:(]
Methods: [36 meh, I'm doomed to a life of Arts anyways]

With regards to a specific study routine,
No x ∞
I was incredibly fluid with my timetabling; a strategy that might work well for some but not one I would recommend. But for most of my subjects all I needed to do was write essays, which is something I can do pretty well under time anyway. I worked on methods a few nights a week because I knew that was my weakest subject, and if I hadn't put that effort in I wouldn't done nearly as well.
Most days I'd work on a subject at a time, unless I had homework or due pieces. I'd spend a night reading a hell of a lot of external info about my lit texts, or cutting and pasting ( ;D ) in my art folio.
And other nights I would collapse into bed and not do anything productive till 9:00 the next day in class. And whilst I would recommend being a little more disciplined than I was, I think this last bit is important. By all means timetable every week if that's what you need, but be prepared to ditch it if you're just not feeling up to study. Obviously there'll be instances where you just have to push through whatever mild apathy you have, but let yourself have a night off occasionally. If you truly are burned out (trust me, you'll know when this happens) then you may just need a night off. Schedules can provide much needed perspective about how much you have to do and the time you have to do it in, but don't let them dictate your year, or all you'll have to show for it is an ATAR.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: zeiinaaa on April 21, 2014, 05:05:07 pm
Wow you are so intelligent! How'd you achieve such a high mark in literature?

And I agree with what you wrote based on the whole study routine, that really does help me understand more of how I should spread out my work over the week! :)

Thanks for answering my questions, I know it must get a bit annoying, but you're helping so much people so thankyou!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: scandin9 on April 21, 2014, 07:49:57 pm
Hey Lauren,
If you have time, I would really appreciate some feedback for my text response.
 
Romeo and Juliet were victims of adult foolishness”. Discuss

William Shakespeare’s lachrymose tragedy, Romeo and Juliet, a five-act drama set in the Italian city of Verona shows that feuding results in catastrophic ends. Romeo and Juliet’s elders are indeed to be blamed for the protagonists’ deaths. Romeo and Juliet’s parents are indoctrinated in their historical feud; moreover, their relationship with Romeo and Juliet is shallow and their ancient grudge isolates the two protagonists. While this is the case, Shakespeare’s foremost message rests on the omnipresence of fate and its ability to turn love’s forcefulness into death. Conversely, The Prince of Verona, Prince Escalus, is an authority figure who exacerbates the two lovers’ predicament. Hence, Shakespeare presents a dichotomous view that allocates blame both to the adult, antagonistic characters and to the inescapability of fate.

The parents of the two protagonists leave Romeo and Juliet alone and their disregard for their needs is a key factor in their deaths. Their ancient quarrel was caused by their ancestors and is reinforced by their inability to reconcile with their opposing households.  This can be seen in the play’s opening act, where a ruinous brawl takes place, when Abram, servant of the house of Montague says,” Do you bite your thumb at us sir”? Sampson, the servant of the Capulet family, declares “I do bite my thumb at you, sir”. This shows the absurdity of the maleficent quarrel between the two households; such a tokenistic gesture that has no meaning initiates an extraordinary amount of carnage. Shakespeare uses this to illustrate the lunacy of the feud and the   preposterousness of violence in general. It is this focus on violence and a prosaic view of love that inhibits the love between Romeo and Juliet. The formality of exchange between Lady Capulet and Juliet can be seen in Act One Scene Three, where Lady Capulet says, Nurse, where’s my daughter? Call her forth to me”. Juliet responds by saying “Madam, I am here. What is your will?” This exchange of a mundane daily nicety highlights the shallowness of the relationship between Juliet and her mother. Thus, Shakespeare’s deliberate ambiguity in concealing the cause of the feud between the Montagues and Capulets is done to accentuate the ridiculousness of the feud. The quarrel between the two households shows Romeo and Juliet’s ancestors bear some responsibility for their deaths.   
On the other hand, Shakespeare’s main point rests on the inevitability of fate and its ability to subvert love. Thus, Romeo and Juliet most poignantly examines fate and its omnipresent existence. Fate’s inevitability is pervasive, often directed by the influence of the stars and the influence of the supernatural. As soon as Romeo and his associates plan to gatecrash  Capulet’s party Romeo has a premonition of impending doom, and Mercutio, the Prince’s kinsman, insists his dream of doom is caused by a figment of Paganism. The eponymous Queen Mab is depicted as a supernatural character that helps bring Romeo and Juliet to a tragic end because “She is the fairies' midwife, and she comes. In shape no bigger than an agate stone”. This remark is said in the concluding lines of Act One Scene Four and indicates that the supernatural form of fate is a small force, almost unnoticeable; however, its significance is unavoidable. Although Romeo ignores Queen Mab’s invisible influence he is very much aware that she “hath been with him”.  Thus, Mercutio’s speech in the concluding lines of Act One Scene Four shows that the supernatural is a force to be reckoned with. The lover’s realisation that they are “star-crossed” is heavily featured and adds to fate’s fickleness. The Chorus says this in the prologue. This major statement indicates that the results of this play are not controllable by humanity. Romeo and Juliet shows, through celestial imagery, that fate is powerful and unstoppable by humanity’s love because of “some consequence yet hanging in the stars”. Therefore, in Romeo and Juliet Shakespeare shows   that fate as a supernatural entity is the main factor that inhibits the love of Romeo and Juliet and causes their death.

 Moreover, Shakespeare shows that humans are not in control of their dreams and who they are fated to fall in love with. Rather, their love is instigated by chance and not choice because they are “fortune’s fool”. This somewhat nihilistic statement comes from Romeo after he slays Tybalt.  This can be seen, at the Capulet Lamas Eve party, at the conclusion of act one,  when Lord Capulet says that Romeo “is a virtuous and well governed youth”; thus, showing his high standing in Verona; however, this high standing is unable to help him with his love for Juliet because he is a victim of fate’s inevitability. Shakespeare suggests that the love between Romeo and Juliet loomed only as an outgrowth of happenstance. Yet again Romeo foreshadows his death and indicates his death is a result of fate. Fate separates the lovers from the walls of Verona and leaves them with no true allies. This is evident because Shakespeare only utilizes the soliloquy form in the play for the two lovers. Hence Shakespeare illuminates the loneliness of the two lovers and their inability to choose their destiny. It is through the isolation of the lovers that impedes the love between Romeo and Juliet; thus showing how fate permeates the play. Thus, showing that fate controls the parents of the two lovers; however, the absence of a clear and individual antagonist in the play indicates that not one individual or any catalyst of fate is responsible for the deaths of the two protagonists, but indeed, a combination of factors as is consistent with the nature and pattern of traditional tragedy.

 Prince Escalus, The Prince of Verona, aims to restore peace in Verona; however, his actions only exacerbate the quarrel between the Montagues and the Capulets. This is evident, at the play’s climax, when the Prince says,” See, what a scourge is laid upon your hate.  And I for winking at your discords too”. Thus, the Prince is admitting that he didn’t understand the extent of the two families’ hatred. As a result, Shakespeare refrains from writing this damning speech in Iambic Pentameter; unlike, the rest of the play, which Shakespeare writes in poetic form. This change in writing style illuminates the speech’s resonance and its condemning tone. The connotations in the Prince’s condemnatory speech indicate that all the townspeople have been and will be punished. This indicates that Shakespeare allocates blame to a variety of characters because the Prince is very much aware of his shortcomings in the matter of Romeo and Juliet; thus, indicating that an adult, authority figure that was supposed to protect the streets of Verona failed in his duty.

Throughout the play numerous adult characters contribute to the deaths of Romeo and Juliet. Through religious imagery, Shakespeare also refers to fate as the ultimate reason for the tragedy. The Prince is derelict in his duties by allowing the death of the two protagonists. The Montagues and Capulets grand naivety in allowing their feud to continue enables their suicides to eventuate. Holistically, Shakespeare’s play Romeo and Juliet censures these adult inimical characters and the ubiquitous presence of fate for the deaths of Romeo and Juliet.

Thanks in advance

Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: auds on April 21, 2014, 08:06:11 pm
Hi Lauren,

Do you have any samples of comparative language analyses that you could post up ??

Thanks !
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: DJA on April 22, 2014, 10:03:08 pm
Hi Lauren!

Just out of interest which texts did you study for English and for Literature?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 23, 2014, 09:20:00 am
auds:

I've put two of my practice essays up on the first page of this thread, and they're both comparative pieces.

DJALogical:

For English I did Year of Wonders (no longer on the reading list) and Henry IV with the latter being my exam text. For Context I did Paradise Rd (film) and Life of Galileo for Conflict.
For Lit: Atonement, Freedom of the City, Hunter, The Boat, Adrienne Rich's poetry, and Antony and Cleopatra, with the last two being my two exam texts :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Bestie on April 23, 2014, 11:02:25 am
Please check your PM, i'm sorry i may have accidentally sent it twice....
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 23, 2014, 07:16:30 pm
Romeo and Juliet were victims of adult foolishness”. Discuss

William Shakespeare’s lachrymose tragedy, Romeo and Juliet, a five-act drama set in the Italian city of Verona it's not compulsary that you cut this out, just know that it's not earning you any marks, and you risk sounding like you're 'waffling on,' which the examiners are not a fan of.. shows that feuding needs a qualifier here, is this always the case? Maybe say 'can' or 'often' to avoid seeming so absolute results in catastrophic ends. Romeo and Juliet’s elders are indeed to be blamed for the protagonists’ deaths. Romeo and Juliet’s consider synonyms: 'the couple' or 'the lovers'  parents are indoctrinated word choice. Entrenched? Ingrained? You could say the younger generation (Tybalt, Mercutio) are indoctrinated by their parents, but the parents are a different case altogether  in their historical feud; moreover, their relationship with Romeo and Juliet is shallow and their ancient grudge isolates the two protagonists. While this is the case, Shakespeare’s foremost message rests on the omnipresence of fate and its ability to turn love’s forcefulness into death. Conversely, The Prince of Verona, Prince Escalus, is an authority figure who exacerbates the two lovers’ predicament. Hence, Shakespeare presents a dichotomous view that allocates blame both to the adult, antagonistic characters and to the inescapability inevitability of fate.

The parents of the two protagonists leave Romeo and Juliet alone and their disregard for their needs is a key factor in their deaths. Their ancient quarrel was caused by their ancestors and is reinforced by their inability to reconcile with their opposing households.  This can be seen in the play’s opening act, where a ruinous brawl takes place, when Abram, servant of the house of Montague says,” Do you bite your thumb at us sir”? Sampson, the servant of the Capulet family, declares “I do bite my thumb at you, sir”. This shows the absurdity of the maleficent w.c. quarrel between the two households; such a tokenistic gesture that has no meaning initiates an extraordinary amount of carnage. Excellent analysis, but I wouldn't say thumb biting has no meaning. It certainly doesn't to us today, but in Elizabethan England it was a genuine sign of disrespect.  Shakespeare uses this to illustrate the lunacy of the feud and the   preposterousness of violence in general. V. good! It is this focus on violence and a prosaic view of love relationships? that inhibits the love between Romeo and Juliet. The formality of the exchange between Lady Capulet and Juliet can be seen in Act One Scene Three, where Lady Capulet says, Nurse, where’s my daughter? Call her forth to me”. Juliet responds by saying “Madam, I am here. What is your will?” This exchange of a mundane daily nicety highlights the shallowness of the relationship between Juliet and her mother. *Thus, Shakespeare’s deliberate ambiguity in concealing the cause of the feud between the Montagues and Capulets is done to accentuate the ridiculousness of the feud. The quarrel between the two households shows Romeo and Juliet’s ancestors bear some responsibility for their deaths.   
* These are both god points, but I don't understand the 'thus.' The two arguments seem to be quite unrelated. Either save this Juliet-Mother point for a later paragraph, or just strengthen the link between that and the absurdity of the feud. But this is a really strong paragraph overall.

On the other hand, Shakespeare’s main point rests on the inevitability of fate and its ability to subvert love. Thus, Romeo and Juliet most poignantly examines fate and its omnipresent existence. Either Romeo and Juliet examine or 'Romeo and Juliet' examines Are you atlking about the characters or the text? Fate’s inevitability is pervasive, often directed encapsulated? conveyed through? mirrored in? by the influence of the stars and the influence of the supernatural. synonyms for influence'? As soon as Romeo and his associates plan to gatecrash  Capulet’s party Romeo has a premonition of impending doom, and Mercutio, the Prince’s kinsman, insists his dream of doom is caused by a figment of Paganism. The eponymous ? Romeo and Juliet are the eponymous ones  ??? Queen Mab is depicted as a supernatural character that helps bring Romeo and Juliet to a tragic end because “She is the fairies' midwife, and she comes. In shape no bigger than an agate stone”. This remark is said in the concluding lines of Act One Scene Four and indicates that the supernatural form of fate is a small force, almost unnoticeable; however, its significance is unavoidable. Although Romeo ignores Queen Mab’s invisible influence he is very much aware that she “hath been with him”.  Thus, Mercutio’s speech in the concluding lines of Act One Scene Four shows that the supernatural is a force to be reckoned with. The lover’s realisation that they are “star-crossed” , as the chorus exalts in the prologue, is heavily featured and adds to fate’s fickleness. The Chorus says this in the prologue. This major statement indicates that the results of this play are not controllable by humanity. Romeo and Juliet play or characters?? shows, through celestial imagery, that fate is powerful and unstoppable by humanity’s love because of “some consequence yet hanging in the stars”. Therefore, in Romeo and Juliet Shakespeare shows   that fate as a supernatural entity is the main factor that inhibits the love of Romeo and Juliet and causes their death.
Remember to make it clear when you're refering to characters and when you're talking about the text as a whole. This is a common problem in Shakespeare since so many of his plays centre on the eponymous/ titular (meaning 'of the title') characters. Quotation marks in writing or italics/underlining for typed pieces is the convention here.


 Moreover, Shakespeare shows that humans are not in control of their dreams and who they are fated to fall in love with. Rather, their love is instigated by chance and not choice because they are “fortune’s fool”. Excellent link. This somewhat nihilistic statement comes from Romeo after he slays Tybalt.  This can be seen, at the Capulet Lamas Eve party, at the conclusion of act one,  when Lord Capulet says that Romeo “is a virtuous and well governed youth”; thus, showing his high standing in Verona; however, this high standing is unable to help him with his love for Juliet because he is a victim of fate’s inevitability. Shakespeare suggests that the love between Romeo and Juliet loomed w.c. only as an outgrowth of happenstance. Yet again Romeo foreshadows his death and indicates his death is a result of fate. How? When? You need evidence here. Fate separates the lovers from the walls of Verona and leaves them with no true allies. This is evident because Shakespeare only utilizes the soliloquy form in the play for the two lovers. Hence Shakespeare illuminates the loneliness of the two lovers and their inability to choose their destiny. It is through the isolation of the lovers that impedes the love between Romeo and Juliet; thus showing how fate permeates the play. Thus, showing This also serves to show that fate controls the parents of the two lovers; however, the absence of a clear and individual antagonist in the play indicates that not one individual or any catalyst of fate is responsible for the deaths of the two protagonists, but indeed instead, it is a combination of factors as is consistent with the nature and pattern of traditional tragedy. V. good para.

link? ^This seems to be more of a final paragraph, the one below feels 'tacked on' at the end.
 Prince Escalus, The Prince of Verona, aims to restore peace in Verona; however, his actions only exacerbate the quarrel between the Montagues and the Capulets. This is evident, at the play’s climax, when the Prince says,” See, what a scourge is laid upon your hate.  And I for winking at your discords too”. Thus, the Prince is admitting that he didn’t understand the extent of the two families’ hatred. As a result, Shakespeare refrains from writing this damning speech in Iambic Pentameter; unlike, the rest of the play, which Shakespeare writes in poetic form. This change in writing style illuminates the speech’s resonance and its condemning tone. The connotations in the Prince’s condemnatory diatribe? accusatory? polemic? there are some great synonyms for this speech indicate that all the townspeople have been and will be punished. This indicates that Shakespeare allocates blame to a variety of characters because the Prince is very much aware of his shortcomings in the matter of Romeo and Juliet; thus, indicating that an adult, authority figure that was supposed to protect the streets of Verona failed in his duty.

Throughout the play numerous adult characters contribute to the deaths of Romeo and Juliet. Through religious w.c. It's supernatural/ ethereal, but I wouldn't say religious imagery, Shakespeare also refers to fate as the ultimate reason for the tragedy. The Prince is derelict in his duties by allowing the death of the two protagonists. The Montagues and Capulets grand naivety in allowing their feud to continue enables their suicides to eventuate. Try not to have your conclusion be this definitive listing of the points in each paragraph. It's okay to summarise, but try to mix it up a little. Holistically, Shakespeare’s play Romeo and Juliet censures this is more for formal documents or legal disputes, go for denounces? fulminates against? excoriates? Or maybe they're too strong? Even just inpugns or challenges would be alright here these adult inimical characters and the ubiquitous presence of fate for the deaths of Romeo and Juliet.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: walkec on April 24, 2014, 05:42:09 pm
Hi Lauren, just wanting to get your advice on something about context.
My context is Whose Reality and we have a practice SAC after school on Thursday next week. I was just wondering how to best prepare for this between now and then?

I feel somewhat comfortable with the ideas in the text, but how do you choose what to do with them in a piece of writing?

Thanks  :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Bestie on April 24, 2014, 10:43:10 pm
Hi Lauren,
did the email work? i'm not sure if it sent through i have a feeling i sent it to the wrong person...

but... can you help me i'm still doing the waleed aly article :(

Aly’s article is commentary on the reaction of the general public to deaths in custody as opposed to deaths at sea in boat accidents. He questions the imbalance of outrage over one death compared to another that is ‘somehow less dead’, questioning readers and regards this as an almost sadistic catharsis. In his choice of ‘somehow’, further magnifies...

its like to him its not less dead but to us it's 'somehow' less dead.. the somehow.. like he doesn't agree with it and readers are presented as.. i don't how it impacts readers...

and lastly,

the quote: ‘its ultimately irrelevance’ ‘doesn’t change anything’ ‘what difference will it make?’ - for sure its not discouraging them

‘they will mean nothing’ because ‘our public conservation isn’t interested in knowing’. In ending with this note, lingers in the mind of the audience to...

Thank you in advance :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 25, 2014, 08:35:38 am
Hi Lauren, just wanting to get your advice on something about context.
My context is Whose Reality and we have a practice SAC after school on Thursday next week. I was just wondering how to best prepare for this between now and then?

I feel somewhat comfortable with the ideas in the text, but how do you choose what to do with them in a piece of writing?

Thanks  :)

How you study will depend on how you write. I'll tailor my advice to expository(ish) style since that's the most common, but if you want to attempt something creative, let me know what your plans are and we can work with that.
Unlike in T.R. where your examples drive your argument, in Context your discussion should be the primary concern with examples there to demonstrate your point. While you may still have a contention in a Context piece, it's not mandatory; you can simply 'expose' elements of the prompt in an interesting way without really coming to a definitive conclusion.
Even if you know the text well enough, I'd recommend drawing up a list/ table/ mindmap of ideas, just to keep track of what each example is saying about Whose Reality. I don't know which text you've got, but it might be worth breaking down the Context into possible prompt types and the fitting your examples underneath those umbrellas (eg. the nature of our reality, changes in reality, subjectivity/objectivity, creating reality, responses to reality etc.) This is by no means conclusive, you could have anything from 4 to 20 prompt types, and of course there's a chance your school will pick something left-of-field that you're not prepared for, but you should still be able to mould two or three of these categories together and work around that.
Once you've got the text covered, move onto any external examples you've collected or researched so far. This is one of the trickier contexts to do this for, but try to find some relevant examples in the media, or throughout history, in other literature, or even your own experiences (though it can be difficult to extrapolate from this: 'This happened to me on the bus the other day. From that we can conclude that reality is subjective' jars a little. Anecdotal/1st person voice is almost always best done through the eyes of another eg. adopting the voice of someone in the text, or someone involved in your external example.)
There's a lot of leeway in context in terms of how to write, so find whatever works best for you. What I usually recommend is starting with a slightly creative intro, or at least something to grab the readers' attention.

Between now and then, I'd do at least 2 practice essays but that number's pretty arbitrary. I say two because at least it'll give you some variation with the prompt, and a chance to explore two different sets of ideas. At least one of these should be under your SAC conditions too.

Apart from that, just go over whatever feedback you've gotten from your teacher, that should give you more guidance if needed

Good Luck :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on April 25, 2014, 08:44:59 am
Bestie,

Okay, last ones:

'somehow' is said with incredulity, mocking the idea of there being different degrees of dead, thus highlighting to readers the twisted logic behind such reasoning.

And those final lines are kind of facetious, since Aly's article is itself a part of public/media discourse. He dichotomises the public as either disinterested and misinformed, or extremely aware and conscious of the 'real' issue. Therefore, readers are more likely to side with the latter group and join Aly in his condemnation of the others.

I can understand the vexation around this article, but you need to start practising this pattern of 'technique/example, effect on readers, how is this persuasive' yourself. Rather than getting bogged down in sentence starters like "In ending with this note, lingers in the mind of the audience to...
" Just break it down in your head into simple english. There's a reason you picked these quotes to analyse, so what was it? Go with your gut reaction, how might you be persuade by this? If needed, link it back to the contention and try to look at things from the author's point of view: why might he have chosen this word in particular to try and persuade readers?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: tiff_tiff on April 29, 2014, 10:45:33 pm
Hi Lauren,
this seems like a random question but the loaded terms 'cruel' and 'failure' how are we positioned to feel?
The article is like ridiculing the government policies as a 'cruel' and 'illegal failure' and unable to protect its people.
I wanted to talk about how linking government actions with illegal is sorta juxtaposing and shocks readers (which readers though)
as for 'cruel' presents the government as ______ and then when combined with failure questions the government .. not sure what to put down in the _________

Thank you in advance
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: yang_dong on April 29, 2014, 11:08:05 pm
Hi Lauren,
At school we are doing a practise on how to choose stronger more vivid words as opposed to others to convey your message (eg a war compared to fight, war obvious holds stronger and more detailed descriptions about the brutally of the argument that one I was able to do fine) but I’m a little stuck on the ‘inflamed’ compared to ‘give cause to’.
Please help. Thank you
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Chang Feng on April 30, 2014, 09:50:46 pm
Hello. Just wondering if you could help. I'm still very confused with what are the aims/ requirements  of writing a context piece. How are you marked on it, and like sorta how do you write one (what's different about context)??? Thanks if you could answer the questions.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: mikehepro on May 02, 2014, 09:50:49 pm
Hey Lauren:

I have a question on a language analysis SAC coming up next week. If i got into a case where i have to analysis 3 articles and an embedded image,how should i approach it?  For example i have 3 texts for the following issue: AFL placed a ban on competition and awards that had been limited to under 8-9 games have now been extended to older age group of under 10. This bans the keeping of scores and best and fairest awards.
The three texts are in the format of:
1st text: An article that disagree with this decision and argues that kids need to learn the process of winning and losing, and this decision is ridiculous. It also have an embedded image that shows a bunch of boys playing footy which supports the argument.
2nd text: An article which have the same point of view as the first article;however in addition to the learning process mentioned in the first article,this text discussed about "competitive parent"as well.
3rd text: This is a opinion piece in a blog where it's a direction comment on the first text, it entirely disagree with the first text and introduce a lot of anecdotes and arguments to rebut the first article.

How should i structure this analysis????
I'm thinking like this atm.
1. Introduction
2. Analysis of first text
3. Analysis of second text
4. Analysis of third text
5. Compare them
6. Conclusion
But i don't think this will fit the criteria set by my teacher. I'm in ESL, so he only want me to "Write a piece of prose that explains how language and visual features have been used in the articles to attempt to persuade the audience about three of the main points"
He even made "three" bold, does this mean i just pick out three central arguments that best fit the three articles??? God i'm really confused.
I really appreciate your response.
Thanks
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on May 03, 2014, 01:04:22 am
Sorry about the delay everyone, uni assessment always gets heavy when you're sick, that's just a fact of life  :-[
Responses below, hope they're not too late:
(collapsible tabs so as not to clog the thread) :) yay for learning about new buttons

scandin9: (essay)
Spoiler
Your analysis is excellent, and your vocab is extremely impressive. At times, some word choices seem a bit clunky (eg. "the melancholy state of the previous government") Forgive me for not doing a whole quote-correction post, but there's really not much I can say. The only way I can see an assessor giving this any less than a 10/10 is if you get one of those horrible ones that resent students using words they don't know (they're out there, trust me.) Personally, I'm a big advocate for sophisticated vocab when it's used appropriately and effectively, and it worked out okay for me in the end, but it is a risky move from an ATAR point of view. Ultimately the advantage you'll get from an expansive vocabulary is more than worth it, but just be aware that this sort of language has to be used properly, lest you get a petty assessor taking out their insecurities on you. I'm probably overplaying it, they're one in a hundred, just keep in mind when writing that your language choices at this level are going to be noticed by assessors for better or for worse.
If this is indicative of the quality of all your analysis, you can afford to kick back for awhile on that front. This is an excellent, comprehensive and fluent response :)

tiff_tiff: (connotation analysis)
Spoiler
I can't comment without knowing the context of the quote. But look at the connotations of a word like 'cruel.' It implies malevolence, heartlessness, brutality, neglect... do any of these apply? Do the same with 'failure'. What words come to mind? More importantly, and at the risk of sounding like a psych major, how does it make you (or other readers) feel? I've posted quite a few times on how to conduct this word-level analysis, so have a browse if you're still stuck.

yang_dong: (connotation analysis)
Spoiler
Same advice as above regarding word-level analysis. In this case, what does inflamed mean? Don't be afraid to look it up if you need a specific definition. 'Give cause to' is very pedestrian, and could be used for any number of things (my hunger gives cause to me eating) but inflamed is like throwing petrol on an already burning fire. It suggests something is exacerbating the issue, as opposed to bringing it about.
Hope that helps.

Chang Feng: (Context criteria and advice)
Spoiler
There are three main criteria (these are basically the same for Text Responses too) but, *DISCLAIMER* these are NOT the OFFICIAL VCAA CRITERIA, that can be found here: http://www.vcaa.vic.edu.au/Documents/exams/english/2009Eng-crit-descriptors-V2.pdf
These are simple the categories I use to explain the task in a way that makes more sense than spectacularly banal criteria like "conducting an effective discussion in response to the task". If you're fulfiling the below then you're checking all the VCAA boxes too.
  • Relevance: this seems like the easiest one; your essay must be relevant to the prompt, the text, and the context. Here it's quite easy to score in the medium to high band without even realising. However, this can be the criterion that separates an 8 or 9 from a 10. Suppose you were dealing with the prompt: 'Memories are the source of our illusions' (Whose Reality) and you wrote an excellent essay about how memory and illusion both obscure reality. If your essay doesn't deal with the relationship between memory and illusion (ie. one being the source of another) then you haven't unpacked the prompt as much as you could. The more complex the prompt, the harder this will be. But say you got a monster like last year's conflict one: 'Conflict of conscience can be just as difficult as conflict between people.' No assessor sits there with a checklist of things you must discuss, just be aware that there's a lot to discuss in those few words, and you're competing against a whole state of people. No pressure :)
  • Ideas (quality and sophistication): This tends to flow on from the first one; the arguments or at least discussion in your essay must be exemplary in both quality and quantity. I don't mean write a long, dense piece, but context essays are often asking you to comment on general human truths; you can't really do this well by only using one example per paragraph and not developing it adequately. My advice for improving here is to keep asking yourself questions. Every time you make a point that feels under-developed, ask how do I know this? Why is this the case? Is this the case for everyone? What does this tell us about the Context/text? Are there any examples that refute this? etc. etc. until your brain hurts
  • Writing (grammar, control, flow, language): See earlier posts if this is an issue. How you practice and improve upon this will depend on your current ability. If you have a lot of trouble with run-on or fragmented sentences, then you'll have to address that before attempting the next steps. Varied sentence length is always a strong tactic with context essays, especially creative pieces or hybrids. The flow of language is closely linked with the flow of ideas, does your essay make sense logically? Read it aloud if you have to. Then comes the vocab; don't rush this as it's a very gradual process, and it's better that you use the language at your disposal than try to cram in big words where they don't belong. But context is, if nothing else, a chance to show off and write how you want to, so find something interesting, and develop as much language as you can to deal with these topics, be they political, historical, literary, theoretical, philosophical, or anecdotal.
    The worst thing you can do is be boring.
"how do you write one" is an incredibly hard question to answer. Could you tell me what exactly you're struggling with. What styles/forms you're considering writing in? If there's any advice your teacher has given you about common mistakes (general or individual) then I'd start there.

mikehepro: (L.A. structure)
Spoiler
First of all, don't structure article-by-article if you can avoid it. It's an incredibly simplistic way of doing things, and often isn't reflective of the balance of material (if you've got an article that's two pages long, and another that's two sentences, you can't devote one paragraph to each, right?)
I don't know what your teacher means by 'main points.' Are these things you've discussed in class/ can ask him about? I'll assume they're your school's version of key players/ stakeholders. (I've got an L.A. structural guide in the first post on this thread, check that out if you need it.) The 'points' are the people/things/ideas involved in the issue. In this case, without having read the articles, I'll assume the points are -children, -parents, -AFL, -winning. Your mission, should you chose to accept it, is to: work out how each author wants us to feel about these 'points' and why? For instance: it sounds like the 1st author is pro-competition, so he would want to portray children as sporty, able youths that need to learn winning and losing in order to appreciate the game. Whereas, the 3rd article might suggest children are so precious and sensitive that losing would hurt their feelings, so we (readers) must protect them by removing the competition from sport.
See how each author wants us to think differently about the same thing? You can do this with each of the 'points'. So you can have one paragraph on children/young players, one on parents/coaches/society, one on the AFL/Little League or whatever/sporting culture, and one on the idea of winning/losing/competition.

This is the structure I usually recommend, but if your teacher intended something different, let me know and I might be able to help clarify

*exhales*
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: hyunah on May 03, 2014, 05:10:42 pm
I hope you're feeling better :)

'the fact that we know the name of the unfortunate victim of the Manus riot is testament to the success of the Abbott Government’s policies in stopping the boats. How many of the bleeding hearts at candlelight vigils around the country last weekend could name any of the more than 1200 asylum seekers who drowned trying to reach Australia under Labor’s watch?

Where were the vigils for the tiny victims who boarded a leaky boat with their parents and who died a horrible death at sea?'

i;m not sure what the contention is?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: smile+energy on May 06, 2014, 10:53:09 am
Hi, Lauren

Could please give me some ideas of how to write a good body and a good conclusion for a text response essay? (if the question is character/theme question). Thanks in advance.

Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on May 06, 2014, 09:22:35 pm
hyunah:

If you're struggling to find the contention, imagine you were reading the article without any prior knowledge or bias; what do you think/feel after reading it? If you can answer this question and support it rationally and plausibly, then you'll get the marks. Try to locate any possible bias in their language (something like "bleeding hearts" is a dead give away.) If all else fails, imagine you are the author. Why have you written the article in this way? Who are you sympathising with/criticising? Start simple, then build up from there. If this is the entire text/comment then you won't have much to work with, but it's good practice nonetheless.

smile+energy:

What exactly are you struggling with? If you haven't written any essays yet, don't think about body paragraphs/conclusions yet. Focus on the content, then when you're ready, apply the content in practice essays. Your teacher will be able to provide commentary on your structure (or there's always AN :P)
If you want to post or PM a sample I'd be happy to give you more specific advice, but for now, just concentrate on learning the material. Asking how to write a good essay now is like asking how to do the physics exam without having learnt the formulae and theories and whatever else science consists of...
Basically, there are many different kinds of "good" paragraphs and I don't want to confuse you by giving you a list of do's and don't's. The best way to improve is to know what you're doing wrong, and the only way to work that out is by writing an essay and utilising the feedback.
If you're having trouble with the actual writing process, then narrow it down for me:
Is it that you don't know what to write (if so, then go back to the text/context/articles/your notes/the criteria/sample essays/teacher's comments etc.)
Or is it that you don't know how to write it? This might indicate trouble with your expression.
See if you can identify the problem (if there is one) then come back to me :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: smile+energy on May 07, 2014, 03:43:56 pm
Hi, Lauren

Thanks heaps.
Yes, your guess about my situation is right.  :)
I know what to write but i don't know how to write it. Could you give some advice for that?
And could I ask you why your essay writing is so formal?
My teacher commented on my essay: can you be more formal?   :(
 

Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: zeiinaaa on May 07, 2014, 03:45:22 pm
Hey Lauren, just a quick question! How did you expand your vocabulary?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Summers on May 07, 2014, 07:03:27 pm
Hi Lauren,

This must get tiring answering so many questions in such great depth! But (:D), I have a language analysis SAC on Monday and I really don't understand how to do it. We've been told to pick out strategies from the 3 pieces which I don't understand nor know able to fake it, and what, how and why or something.

Do you have a language analysis tutorial or formula that I could possibly follow? It should be really easy but my teacher is a complete dud and everyone has been failing or just passing lang anal practices. Thanks!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on May 08, 2014, 08:45:44 pm
smile+energy
Work out what you want to say in simple english before you try to write it. Rather than beginning a sentence and then make up the ideas as you go, work out (in your head or on paper) what your main contention is, then what each argument is going to be, as well as a few examples you're going to use.
Another good tip is to make sure you know what each sentence is trying to communicate. If you don't know what you're trying to say, then neither will your assessor. Stick to a TEEL structure or something similar (Topic sentence, Example, Explain/Elaborate, Link and repeat)
Re: formality, my essays are "formal" because that's how they're meant to be, I guess. It's how I learned to write; I've never really noticed. This kind of links in with the discussion about vocab below, but I think it's better to be communicating a simple point with basic language than to try and get across a really good, complex idea with convoluted, messy language. Work to your own ability level, but remember your essay shouldn't sound like an informal conversation. Maybe read through some practices (from your school would be best for SACs, VCAA's website is good for exam prep, and this forum is good for general stuff) just to get a feel for the formality required.

zeiinaaa:
I read dictionaries. Don't judge me :-[
Reading widely helps A LOT! I've preached about this heaps, but finding your 'niche' (sci-fi, satire, adventure, classics) will make the process more enjoyable, and may even fuel your context essays if you're lucky enough to find relevant stuff. Acquire words whenever you can; maybe your teacher uses them in class, maybe you've got a weird friend who reads dictionaries too, or maybe you're just stumbling across new words throughout the day. The important thing is to keep a tally of the words you learn. The back of your english workbook is always good, or a stickynote on your computer desktop; something for you to refer back to, scroll through and add to as the year goes by. I've put some helpful pages at the start of this thread, and there's a great thread: New words - feel free to add :) that you can browse through/contribute to :)

Summers:
There's an L.A. guide attached to the first post in this thread, as well as some sample essays. Read those first and let me know if you have any concerns after.
The 'what how and why' you're referring to is a good place to start. To elaborate: WHAT is the technique/device (quote here). HOW could it be used to persuade certain readers, or given a certain context. WHY has the author chosen this technique/device/word/phrase/appeal etc. (link this to the overall contention).
Hope that makes more sense :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: zeiinaaa on May 08, 2014, 11:49:14 pm
Haha wow that's so smart! Thanks Lauren
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: smile+energy on May 09, 2014, 12:51:31 pm
THANKS SO MUCH, Lauren :).
I saw you have the rules for elaborating in LA. I have another question: are there any rules for text response in regards to elaborating? (for theme/character-based topic)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on May 09, 2014, 09:37:42 pm
The "rules" can be found here.
http://www.vcaa.vic.edu.au/Documents/exams/english/2009Eng-crit-descriptors-V2.pdf

Beyond that, this whole thread is just general tips that you can follow or ignore. Most of the answers I give here are tailored to certain people based on either their estimation of their own strengths or weaknesses, or by actually reading their work.

There are no "rules" for any of the tasks; even the 'what, how, why' for Language Analysis can fall apart sometimes. And obviously it's insufficient to just reuse that formula 20 times in an essay. I'd recommend going back and looking at what the task is asking you to do. If you understand that, you won't need guidelines.

Plus, the way you approach your essay kind of depends on the text. When I was doing Henry IV (Shakespeare) I knew there was a lot of historical weight and context to consider. Even something like 12 Angry Men is steeped in the attitudes (ie. racism, prejudice, 'red fever' etc.) of 1960's America. Most texts on the list have some sort of background info you can incorporate, but for some it's more important than others.

AND it'll depend on the prompt itself. Rarely do you get a clean-cut 'theme/character-based topic.' On the surface that might be what it's asking, but you usually need to consider the author's values or the reader's interpretations  as part of your discussion.

I suppose as an absolute last resort you could go for the TEEL structure (Topic sentence, Evidence, Explain/Elaborate, Link) but this is a pretty simplistic one and won't earn you a very high mark. It's good to keep in the back of your mind so that you know which direction you're heading, but it's hardly a rule. Most schools/teachers have their own variations on this anyway.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: smile+energy on May 10, 2014, 03:32:20 pm
Thanks heaps, Lauren :D
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Cheddar Cheese on May 10, 2014, 03:52:05 pm
Hey Lauren, just wondering how much planning you did for essays under timed conditions? Every time I try to plan out my points briefly, I end up spending like 10 minutes on it, which is quite a bit in my opinion...did you outline your points for each paragraph in detail (e.g.: with the examples and stuff) or did you just write a point or 2 to plan each paragraph? Thanks so much!

Also, how do you manage to write so much in about an hour? I'm really having trouble with time management! :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Summers on May 10, 2014, 03:59:14 pm
Hi Lauren,

I downloaded the Language Analysis thing and it was good, but just a little confusing for me :(

The introduction is the easy part which is where you start off with COAST - pretty easy.

When the body paragraphs come in, I get really confused. My teacher says you choose a strategy such as appealing to unity or patriotism then move onto a how then why and I'm not sure I could talk about it much. For example, the author appeals to patriotism by saying ''...'' with the intended purpose to have its audience link arms and face the issue together, or something. Then after that I have no idea what to write, I usually just write a bunch of crap to fill in lines to not be embarrassed that I wrote 1 page in an hour.

Are you supposed to link a strategy such as Patriotism to a technique, then talk about how that technique has an impact about the audience (in a hypothetical, personal, subjective sense) and then talk about why they used it which I thought would be pretty closely related to the impact .. UHHHH. I'm sorry. I have a SAC at 7AM on Monday and I am so bad at Language Analysis and my teacher was useless! :( Not to mention I have no idea how you are meant to link a minimum of three pieces into one essay? :(((((
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on May 10, 2014, 10:13:52 pm
katnissismykod:

I...wasn't big on planning. I found planning actually limited me in terms of where my essay would go, particularly when it came to Text Responses and Context pieces. Put simply, I didn't know where my essay was going to end up before I wrote it, so I had a general contention and a few basic examples, and that was enough for me.
Contrarily, I had friends who would plan extensively for 10/15 minutes, then could churn out an essay in 40 without stopping. It's really up to you.
At this stage of the year, it's fine to be taking a bit longer to plan and write. In fact it's better that you're doing things properly now, then you can worry about the time constraints later.
Use these next few months to experiment with different planning techniques. Don't go cold turkey and try to write one without any plan at all, but see if you can minimise how much detail you go into, or set yourself a strict 5 minute time limit. Some teachers recommend the 10-45-5 rule (10 minutes for planning, 45 for writing and 5 for editing) or some variation. Personally I've never needed 5 minutes to edit, as I tended to reread parts of my work while I wrote, but I suppose if you're having a lot of grammatical issues then this might be necessary.
It really will depend on your own preference. And at the end of the year, it's not one hour per essay, it's three essays in three hours. There's nothing stopping you from spending two hours on one essay, then getting the others done in half an hour each (apart from common sense.) But if you find, for example, Language Analyses really quick and easy, get that out of the way, then you can spend a good 15 minutes planning out a Context piece or something.
One small tip, when I did plan my pieces, I always used shorthand. Your plan isn't marked; assessor's don't even look at it. Rather than writing 'Shakespeare uses the character of Falstaff as a contrast to Prince Hal, which reinforces the idea of multiple forms of honour. This can be seen in Act 2 Scene 4 when they pretend to be one another in a key turning point for the play.' I'd just write 'S: Falst.=/=Hal --> diff. hon.  (2.4)' Your plan only needs to make sense to you.
Trial as much as possible until you find what works best.



Summers,

Try this basic approach first, this seems to be what your teacher is advocating:
1. WHAT is the technique/device (quote here).
2. HOW could it be used to persuade certain readers, or given a certain context.
3. WHY has the author chosen this technique/device/word/phrase/appeal etc. (link this to the overall contention).

For example:
The author's vitriolic (tone) attack (1) on the government as evidenced by the epithet "stupid ugly nazis" seeks to denigrate all politicians. Such loaded language elicits strong hatred from his readers (2), particularly given the sensitive nature of the issue (obviously you'd be more specific here). Consequently, -author-'s audience are more likely to reject the government's proposal (3) as "cruel and unfair," thus supporting his contention that we should kill them all etc. etc.
^That's quite a long-winded one, you could do all three in a single sentence:
Likewise the inclusive language in the title "Our Country, Our Rules" inspires a collective, patriotic sense of responsibility, inciting readers to share in the author's view that New Zealanders are evil...

I should probably start using real articles instead of making up psychopathic examples, huh?


Depending on how broad your starting point is (eg. something as big as an appeal to unity, or as specific as a single rhetorical question) you could fit 3 or four of these into an average paragraph.
Remember, these formulas will only get you so far. Feel free to use them now, but by October/November you should have moved beyond these. Assessors aren't big fans of formulaic essays, but if you're struggling that much, it's probably best to go back to the basics. Try talking to your teacher and get him/her to clarify the structure they're looking for, since I'm not sure what you mean here.
If structuring by techniques and appeals is what they want, then linking all three pieces will require you to find common techniques and appeals between the texts.
Could you let me know what exactly you're having trouble with, then I might be able to help more.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: ~V on May 11, 2014, 05:23:55 pm
When writing a context piece, what are the different styles within persuasive? Also, vague question but, which style is "safest"?(ie. you don't go off topic easily)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: scandin9 on May 16, 2014, 07:53:53 pm
Hi Lauren,
How does one write an idiosyncratic conclusion for a text response that is both a variation from the norm and that captures an examiner's eye.
Thanks in advance!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on May 16, 2014, 08:25:37 pm
When writing a context piece, what are the different styles within persuasive? Also, vague question but, which style is "safest"?(ie. you don't go off topic easily)

The most common form of a persuasive piece is a speech, though it could also be a letter or an essay. The forms are really up to you, and there isn't really a definitive list of what you can/can't do. The styles, however, are broken up into three categories:

Context Styles: Expository, Persuasive, and Imaginative/Creative/Personal (some schools have different versions of this third one) or Hybrid

Context Forms: Essay, Speech, Letter, Diary Entry, Short Story, POV of a character, Reflection/ Inner Monologue, Dialogue, Poem(?) etc.

The Expository format is objectively the safest. Obviously you should play to your strengths, but do a cost benefit analysis for each style. In expository, you'll have the easiest way to communicate ideas quickly and effectively using a broad range of examples, but if done badly it can be a bit bland/formulaic. It's also the most common style around the state, and you don't want to bore your assessor. Persuasive pieces are good when you have a strong opinion regarding the prompt or the text, but if your opinion differs from your assessor then you run the risk of their bias impacting your mark. And creative pieces are for showing off, essentially' whether it's your vocab or your storytelling abilities, the creative style showcases everything and gives you a lot of leeway in terms of what and how you can write. But it's by far the riskiest; fulfilling the criteria is your priority, not constructing a fluent and engaging piece (but if you can do both I tip my hat to you) Annoyingly many assessors can read a creative piece and think it was entertaining and well-crafted and emotive, but if it doesn't tick those context boxes then you'll be lucky to scrape by with a 6/10 It's dumb, but many students can make it work. Just experiment a little bit till you find your strengths :)

Hi Lauren,
How does one write an idiosyncratic conclusion for a text response that is both a variation from the norm and that captures an examiner's eye.
Thanks in advance!

Good conclusions do more than just restate points, summarise arguments and reword contentions.
It will depend on your text of course; some are easier than others. You might want to make a general comment about audience interpretation, or how meaning changes over time (eg. for Twelve Angry Men - written in the Cold War era, how might the message have changed over time, or are the themes of prejudice eternal...?) Since I was doing Shakespeare I could make the obvious comparison between the Elizabethan/Jacobean audiences and contemporary viewers. Put simply, this is your chance to 'zoom out' and look at a bigger picture, whatever that may be. Perhaps there's something you can say about the text overall, or about the author's ouevre? Here's one of mine on Henry IV Part 1 as a sample: [Prompt: The kingdom of Henry IV is one of shifting power and uncertainty]

“If the tree is known by the fruit as the fruit as the fruit by the tree,” Hal seems to have the potential to be an even more “wond’d at” king than his father. Yet in a world with more roles than players and more players than parts, Shakespeare’s ominous ending foreshadows an uncertain journey for the Prince of Wales as he navigates the perennial power shifts of disillusioned subjects and unscrupulous nobility.

Two to three sentences was usually sufficient for me. So long as you bring it back to the prompt somehow you should be fine. Think of it as an opportunity to consolidate and tie your essay together. Rather than viewing it as three/four separate paragraphs on different ideas with an intro and concl tacked on either end, try to consider your whole essay as this gradual process of more and more arguments and evidence leading to an overwhelming conclusion.

The intro is for capturing an examiner's eye, the conclusion is to make them finally blink and go, wow, this guy deserves 11/10.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: EFPBH on May 16, 2014, 11:48:39 pm
hi Lauren:)

what is the main difference between a text response and context essay?

thanks
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: zeiinaaa on May 17, 2014, 07:13:14 am
Hey Lauren, my teacher told me for language analysis to use the "ape" format- argument, persuasive technique and example.
However in the document you wrote, you told us to use the TEE format!
I'm so confused... Is it necessary to list the arguments  on the issue we are analysing? Or do we only focus on the technique, example and effect?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on May 17, 2014, 10:26:49 am
hi Lauren:)

what is the main difference between a text response and context essay?

thanks

In a Text Response, you're using the prompt to discuss the book/film. In Context, you're using a text to discuss an idea in the prompt Put simply, a Text Response essay should always revolve around the text, maybe stepping outside occasionally to comment on the author's life, the historical context, or a relevant philosophical idea or something. With Context however, you can use the text in just one paragraph, then use external evidence for the rest of your essay. The text is just your starting point, the context (ie. things around the text: the ideas it contains, the values it condones, what the author thought/wanted us to think etc.) is just as, if not more important.
If you were to go through and highlight a TR essay everytime there was reference to the text, a character, a quote or a theme, at least 90% of the essay would be highlighted. But if you did the same to a Context piece, it might only be 5/6 lines in one paragraph, and maybe another 2/3 later on.
The other major difference is that your TR piece has to be a formal essay, whereas your Context piece can be any of the forms/styles I've listed in my last post.

Hey Lauren, my teacher told me for language analysis to use the "ape" format- argument, persuasive technique and example.
However in the document you wrote, you told us to use the TEE format!
I'm so confused... Is it necessary to list the arguments  on the issue we are analysing? Or do we only focus on the technique, example and effect?

If that's the format your teacher wants then do it. They'll be the ones marking your SAC; you can aly around with different approaches for the exam later.
'Listing the arguments' sounds a bit like summary to me. You can mention the contention, and you should always bring your discussion back to the contention at the end of each paragraph, but APE seems a little too simplistic. Mentioning the argument, device, and an example is all summary, not analysis. Think of APE as a subset of T. Rather than just stating: 'The author uses the technique of alliteration' try to integrate it better by linking their argument to the device, and then providing an example: 'To further purport the idea of the government being ineffectual and misguided, the author sardonically brands them with the alliterative 'cuckoo cabinet'. ' See how that goes into more detail and comments on the author's intention as well as the device?
But that's only the first step, you can't have an essay full of just APE statements, you need to actually ANALYSE what the author is trying to do, and how we feel as a result.
That's why the TEE or what-how-why structure work better, in my opinion. Once you've discussed what the author is doing/what techniques, move on to the effect on the readers. More importantly, how does it affect us. It's not sufficient to say 'the picture of the sad child makes us feel sad.' Instead try: 'By including an image of a visibly distressed child, the audience is made to feel as though they are responsible for the child's unhappiness; our inaction has upset him greatly; thus appealing to readers' innate desire to protect the vulnerable members of our society from harm.'
Then you describe the why. Why has the author done this? >link back to the contention< I've started to do this at the end of my 'how' discussion (after awhile the stages will just blur together) eg. 'The positioning of this visual therefore makes us more inclined to be support the new proposal for the sake of younger generations.'

Having said all that, be careful what you write in SACs. You're not trying to do it properly, you're just trying to write what your teacher wants. After you get the LA SAC out of the way, you can focus purely on exam tactics and use whatever strategy you feel is most beneficial, but unfortunately teacher bias plays a big role in VCE English. If you're lucky your teacher will be open to multiple approaches, and might even work with you to help develop your approach further. Maybe have a chat with them and see what their attitude would be. Careful how you phrase things though: 'I was considering a slightly different approach for structuring my LA paragraphs, since the one you've suggested isn't really working for me' is more likely to recieve a positive response than 'Hey, this structure is wrong. I've got a better idea!'
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: moe98 on May 17, 2014, 12:11:25 pm
Hi! I've been stuck on this for ages and i would love some help if you're not too busy! My teacher said something about a simple and complex contention but I don't know whether I've gotten them right. Also she said theres 3 devices used in this article: appeal to fear, appeal to authority and I can't remember the last one. anyway I'm struggling finding any.

heres the link to the article

http://www.theaustralian.com.au/national-affairs/opinion/our-race-act-has-had-a-civilising-effect-leave-it-be/story-e6frgd0x-1226909389549#

Thanks!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: zeiinaaa on May 17, 2014, 02:55:36 pm
Haha yeah I absolutely agree, I didn't like the whole APE thing, but I have to do whatever impresses my teacher. Which is why I turned to you, since I needed to know what I need to do for the EXAM. But I'll talk to her again, and try to understand more of what she meant by APE, perhaps I misunderstood. Anyways thanks heaps Lauren! :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on May 17, 2014, 07:04:21 pm
Hi! I've been stuck on this for ages and i would love some help if you're not too busy! My teacher said something about a simple and complex contention but I don't know whether I've gotten them right. Also she said theres 3 devices used in this article: appeal to fear, appeal to authority and I can't remember the last one. anyway I'm struggling finding any.

heres the link to the article

http://www.theaustralian.com.au/national-affairs/opinion/our-race-act-has-had-a-civilising-effect-leave-it-be/story-e6frgd0x-1226909389549#

Thanks!

Firstly, there's rarely a single answer in English. If your teacher has outlined a specific contention or set of devices, then you should check with them to clarify.

In terms of 'simple and complex contentions,' there's a big difference between 'The author is against binge drinking' and 'The author believes binge drinking is having many negative effects on young teenagers, and that parents should take more responsibility in educating their children about the dangers of alcohol to prevent further violence/tragedy.' So I'd guess a complex contention is one that's 'fleshed out' a bit more, and relates to different parts of the issue, as opposed to the simplistic 'The author likes/dislikes this thing.'

There are always more than three devices used. ALWAYS. I have no idea why your teacher would have narrowed it down to those three. Check out the LA Techniques list I've posted on the first page of this thread; that has the basics there, plus a few extras. Your analysis should be moving beyond just listing devices anyway; it's a very small part of the analysis (see above posts for different approaches.)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: smile+energy on May 19, 2014, 04:16:46 pm
Hi, Lauren

For Context, how can you draw on the ideas and arguments in the texts to create your own text that is relevant to the set prompt?
Can I just copy the same ideas in my own writing?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Billion on May 19, 2014, 04:20:16 pm
Hi Lauren,
This question may (most likely) have been asked before, however, I was wondering for a language analysis - using the standard usual 2 texts plus a picture  format -  does devoting each paragraph to each section of the article lessen the complexity of your essay?
For example, the intro, analysis of opinion piece one, analysis of opinion piece two, analysis of image in contrast with both arguments.
I've read many books that say this approach is applaudable, and others portray this approach as simplistic and not appealing to the examiners.

What's the best overall structure that you think I should stick with/practice throughout the year.

Thanks.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Politics on May 19, 2014, 08:57:05 pm
Hi Lauren,

Just a short question, How would you recommend to help determine a suitable audience in the statement of intention for a context piece,

Thanks!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on May 19, 2014, 09:40:52 pm
Hi, Lauren

For Context, how can you draw on the ideas and arguments in the texts to create your own text that is relevant to the set prompt?
Can I just copy the same ideas in my own writing?

Not entirely sure what you're asking here, but for context you should be using external examples as well as the text itself. Say for example you were studying The Very Hungry Caterpillar (for your grade 2 english exam :P) You would mention the text and deal briefly with its themes and how it relates to the idea of identity/conflict/reality/landscape, but then you have to move beyond that. An essay that just restates the ideas brought up in the text isn't telling the reader anything new about the context. This is where you need external examples. For instance, I could compare the story of the Hungry Caterpillar to that of someone with an eating disorder, and how body image can impact our identity. Or I might talk about the way society thinks butterflies are beautiful, but moths are pests, and then discuss the way external factors can cause conflict between groups.

Unlike a Text Response, the context text is just a starting point, so you can't just "copy the same ideas" if you want a good mark. You can use them as a basis for discussion, but you need to say something more.

Hi Lauren,
This question may (most likely) have been asked before, however, I was wondering for a language analysis - using the standard usual 2 texts plus a picture  format -  does devoting each paragraph to each section of the article lessen the complexity of your essay?
For example, the intro, analysis of opinion piece one, analysis of opinion piece two, analysis of image in contrast with both arguments.
I've read many books that say this approach is applaudable, and others portray this approach as simplistic and not appealing to the examiners.

What's the best overall structure that you think I should stick with/practice throughout the year.

Thanks.

I have posted quite a bit on structuring Language Analyses, so search through this thread/the english board for specifics.
In short: I wouldn't recommend a chronological or article-by-article approach. It's a good safety net, but there are more sophisticated structures available (check the first post in this thread for a downloadable LA guide.)
BUT for SACs you should be doing whatever your teacher is recommending. I've said this before too: your teacher will be the one marking your SAC. Even if they're crossmarking, they still have the power. Do what they "suggest," then work on your exam tactics on the side.
The 'key player' or 'stakeholder' structure is my default setting. Use the search bar in the top right corner and there should be more detail in those posts :)

Hi Lauren,

Just a short question, How would you recommend to help determine a suitable audience in the statement of intention for a context piece,

Thanks!

If it's just a straight-up expository piece, I've always found some good ol'fashioned bullshitting about 'my language being geared towards an audience of well-informed adults acquainted with matters of political turmoil and race debates' to be a nice default. You have to play the game a bit here. Purpose: to pass english or Audience: my english teacher will usually be penalised just for annoying your assessor.
It is a good opportunity to emphasise a focus in your essay though. Say I was writing on the aforementioned Hungry Caterpillar: my audience might be the younger generation of women growing up in a world that insists their identities are limited to the external, or for people struggling with the disparity between their inner beauty and outer appearance. From memory the Written Explanation stuff counts for very little, it's really just a chance for the kids doing creative pieces to explain their decisions. You'll only have to do it in SACs, so just tie it to an overall conceit or theme and you should be alright :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Rod on May 19, 2014, 10:39:04 pm
Hey Lauren did you by any chance get my email? I'm just trying to transfer the money via PayPal. It's the first time I'm using it.

Also, just wanted to ask if you've read Shooting an Elephant by George Orwell. Any thoughts on it and it's links to encountering conflict?

thanks
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: smile+energy on May 20, 2014, 04:18:51 pm
Thanks so much, Lauren.  :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Rishi97 on May 23, 2014, 10:11:54 pm
Hi Lauren

I have to write my contect piece on "We find out who we are from the conflict we face"... This prompt is a bit tricky and I'm finding it really hard to come up with ideas for an expository essay.
Could you please help me?
All suggestions welcome :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Cort on May 24, 2014, 12:23:26 am
Two silly questions:

1. If you received feedback - how would you handle it? I mean, what would you do to work with your feedback so that next time, you can improve on it? I know you can just 'write more constantly', but I'm trying to work with my feedback so next time I write again I'm aware of what the heck is wrong with my writing.

2. How did you expand on your quality of ideas? What tips would you suggest to expand on the quality of ideas?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jono_CP on May 24, 2014, 12:30:59 am
Hi Lauren,

I consider English to be my one and only speciality (in life generally) and I did poorly in my text response essay as I am aiming for a 40+ and only got 27/30 when I was receiving 29s in the practice ones. Moreover, I have dropped two marks for Language Analysis and the Speech 19/20 and 19/20, and I know to get 40 you have to be getting 100's and A+'s. Bitterly disappointed, as I feel that my teacher adjusted the marks slightly to keep me motivated. Unfortunately, even if I had done the impossible like yourself and got a 50 study score in English, I would have always been looking for ways I could improve in the future.

Sooo upset. I was wondering if anyone has any advice on dealing with this disappointing result? I created my own chapter summaries, highlighted my novel, read it x 2, completed + 13-15 essays and went beyond the book itself to include the history of In the Country of Men. I remain inconsolable at the moment.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on May 24, 2014, 10:32:21 am
Dude... You could get a 50 with those marks? 40 is still WELL within reach. Keep doing your best.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Einstein on May 24, 2014, 11:49:29 am
Hi Lauren,

I consider English to be my one and only speciality (in life generally) and I did poorly in my text response essay as I am aiming for a 40+ and only got 27/30 when I was receiving 29s in the practice ones. Moreover, I have dropped two marks for Language Analysis and the Speech 19/20 and 19/20, and I know to get 40 you have to be getting 100's and A+'s. Bitterly disappointed, as I feel that my teacher adjusted the marks slightly to keep me motivated. Unfortunately, even if I had done the impossible like yourself and got a 50 study score in English, I would have always been looking for ways I could improve in the future.

Sooo upset. I was wondering if anyone has any advice on dealing with this disappointing result? I created my own chapter summaries, highlighted my novel, read it x 2, completed + 13-15 essays and went beyond the book itself to include the history of In the Country of Men. I remain inconsolable at the moment.

i agree with cyclops, you have a stronger chance of getting a 50, then you do of getting 40-45 with those marks (if you understand what i mean - dont think of the 0.15%, hard to explain) keep going at it.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: 90ATAR on May 25, 2014, 01:51:22 pm
I am aiming for a 40+ and only got 27/30, 19/20 and 19/20. Sooo upset, disappointing result. I remain inconsolable at the moment.
VCE is just a gruelling, torturous year of unrequited results. You are going nowhere with these results - it's too late, just give up.

EDIT: Sorry! I was just being cheeky!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jono_CP on May 25, 2014, 04:16:02 pm
Hey guys, I quite honestly wasn't expecting the criticism that I have attracted here and other posts, but perhaps it was warranted.

It was neither my intention to make people envious or critical of my marks, even then if it helps even the ledger, I am failing Further Mathematics.

At the time I was visibly upset, as when one puts in a lot of sacrifice (e.g. I have no social media accounts, hardly go out) and doesn't get what they expect it kind of hurts... I needed a forum, even if it was only the internet to vent that frustration. I apologise.

I suffer from depression, and whilst it is more manageable this year than it was last year, I want to make amends and exceed myself in VCE. I got a 36 study score for History Rev's but this could have honestly been more, if I didn't skip so many classes (not that I wanted to, and for those who have suffered from this illness would know what I mean).

Again I am sorry if I have caused such angst amongst the forums - this was neither my intention nor what I was aiming to do.

Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on May 25, 2014, 04:50:14 pm
Hi Lauren

I have to write my contect piece on "We find out who we are from the conflict we face"... This prompt is a bit tricky and I'm finding it really hard to come up with ideas for an expository essay.
Could you please help me?
All suggestions welcome :)

If you're really struggling, go back to the text and use that as your starting point. I'm a bit hesitant to help you out here since coming up with ideas is the most important part of an expository essay, and having someone else do that for you sort of undermines the benefit of practising.
I can give you some advice on general tactics though: remember to question the prompt as much as possible. What is it implying? Is this always the case? Are there exceptions, and if so, what do they tell us?
At the most basic level, work out what your contention is. Obviously for an expository piece your contention doesn't have to be a really strong one, but it should still be clear and well-developed so that it gives your easy some focus. So work out what you think of the prompt then get back to me if you're still struggling.
Two silly questions:

1. If you received feedback - how would you handle it? I mean, what would you do to work with your feedback so that next time, you can improve on it? I know you can just 'write more constantly', but I'm trying to work with my feedback so next time I write again I'm aware of what the heck is wrong with my writing.

2. How did you expand on your quality of ideas? What tips would you suggest to expand on the quality of ideas?
1. That would depend on the feedback. For instance, a lot of the stuff I got last year was for my structure; my topic sentences often lacked focus, and my conclusions were a bit weak, so I knew what I had to do. However, in earlier years I'd also had feedback like: 'you need to work on this paragraph. I'm not "feeling" this paragraph' (to which my sarcastic response at the time was: 'shall I write it in Braille next time?')
If the feedback isn't clear then ask your teacher to explain. I've heard some teachers make comments deliberately ambiguous so that it encourages the students to come to them and discuss their work.
2. Ask questions. Dissect the prompt. Read widely. Force yourself to move beyond "safe" analysis once in awhile. If you want more specific advice, let me know which essay type you're dealing with and/or which texts you're studying :)
Hi Lauren,

I consider English to be my one and only speciality (in life generally) and I did poorly in my text response essay as I am aiming for a 40+ and only got 27/30 when I was receiving 29s in the practice ones. Moreover, I have dropped two marks for Language Analysis and the Speech 19/20 and 19/20, and I know to get 40 you have to be getting 100's and A+'s. Bitterly disappointed, as I feel that my teacher adjusted the marks slightly to keep me motivated. Unfortunately, even if I had done the impossible like yourself and got a 50 study score in English, I would have always been looking for ways I could improve in the future.

Sooo upset. I was wondering if anyone has any advice on dealing with this disappointing result? I created my own chapter summaries, highlighted my novel, read it x 2, completed + 13-15 essays and went beyond the book itself to include the history of In the Country of Men. I remain inconsolable at the moment.
VCE is just a gruelling, torturous year of unrequited results. You are going nowhere with these results - it's too late, just give up.
90ATAR's post was obviously in jest, and I know the self-deprication can be somewhat irksome when the people doing it aren't "struggling", but let's not lose perspective here.
Jono_CP: this sort of self-awareness isn't such a bad thing, so long as you channel it properly. Rather than descending into inconsolable grief, think about things in a more constructive way. cyclops is right, those marks put you in an excellent position at this stage of the year, well and truly in the 40s if you work consistently.
Also, have a read of some of the 'how vce/ATAR/study scores are calculated' threads on here; A+s and 100%s aren't essential; I bombed on two SACs and there was always room for improvement in other essays, and it all turned out alright for me :)
I say bombed. I was still in the A/A+ bracket. For some people, a 14/20 is a landmark achievement, and for others a 19/20 is a slap in the face. We all have our different standards for good reason.
On the one hand, other people need to be aware of this, but on the other, you putting yourself down can make others feel even worse. Unfortunately VCE doesn't measure performance based on personal bests, but on how you perform in relation to your class, cohort and state. Yes it sucks, but you're all in the same boat. Apologies if this all sounds flippant or cliched, but trust me, 6 months after vce is over for you, you'll wonder why grade points ever mattered at all.

My only other suggestion would be to have a think about uni/career pathways. Aiming for 40+s is excellent, but sometimes your performance is out of your control. If you're sick of something goes terribly wrong outside school, GAT and derived scores should help you out, but in subjective courses like English, sometimes an assessor just won't like the cut of your jib. The system tries to make it fairer, but you never know. Study scores are very rarely an accurate representation of a student's potential, just a combination of blind luck and learned ability. It's a ticket to a uni course and then it hardly ever matters again.
Cept bragging rights.

Don't let the numbers get you down :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: BLACKCATT on May 25, 2014, 07:13:40 pm
Sorry if this has already been answered but, how are we meant to structure a language analysis from 3 articles and an image?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: 90ATAR on May 26, 2014, 06:53:01 pm
Hi Laura,

I was just wondering is it always possible to get a 40+ when it comes down to the exam? Whilst I'd consider myself competent in English, what VCE wants from me and what I am providing are the worlds apart and my teacher is terrible which doesn't help my case. I have received a 12/20 for my speech, 13/20 for my Language Analysis and 24/30 for my Text Response. I'm basically asking this as to whether it is pointless or not in getting a tutor to up my ability to write essays and such to get into that 40SS bracket or continue on with my current year 10 capacity in English.

My school ranks about 50th in the state if that is any help. I scored quite 3-4 marks above the average for text response, well below average for my speech and probably around average or a little below for Language Analysis -> and my main reason for doing so poorly is because I quite honestly have no idea what is going on and have nowhere to go because my teacher is a joke. English could definitely bridge the gap between me attending Melbourne instead of Monash which I really really want to do, but I feel like I've just f'd up completely and there's no coming back.

Thanks a lot Laura.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on May 26, 2014, 08:22:39 pm
lencake:

Check the very first post in this thread for a general guide for L.A. structure, or search 'key player' in the top right hand corner, the 3rd/4th result or so should be one of my long posts explaining my recommended approach :)


60ATAR:

Can't remember where I read it, but there's an excellent post somewhere on here that basically says, yes, if you work hard enough you can get pretty much any score you want* but going from a 12/20 to a 20/20 doesn't just happen because you want it to.
*Since English is so subjective anyway, aiming for specific scores is not recommended. Work on qualitative improvement rather than quantitative. Instead of thinking 'I got a 7 on this essay but I got an 8 on my last one; I must be getting worse' think: eg. 'my last essay was too specific, so I tried to be more general but ended up overcorrecting. Now I need to find a balance between the two.'
Getting a tutor doesn't just 'up your ability' either. If your teacher isn't helping you and you need some guidance then maybe it's a good idea, but even then it still requires you to put in a lot of effort; having a tutor doesn't correlate with a higher score.
It sounds like you're focusing a little too much on the numbers. Having goals for uni is excellent, provided they're constructive and encouraging you, not detracting from your studies. Narrowing it down to 'having no idea what's going on' isn't going to be of any use to anyone trying to help you, least of all yourself. Go back to some of the feedback you've received and try to work out why you're getting those scores instead of dwelling on the fact that you're getting them.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on May 27, 2014, 11:30:55 am
Good question, this is a tricky one. I'd say generally an expository essay should aim for a 50:50 ratio between explaining examples and actually talking about the context in an abstract way. If you're overdoing the examples your essay won't really build up to anything or come to any conclusions, whereas if it's too prompt-focused then it'll seem like you aren't supporting your points.
I'd say the prompt should be your main focus (ie. it should be at the start and end of most of your paragraphs, just to set up/drive your points home respectively) This is a massive generalisation though, I have heaps of essays I've written that don't conform to this. The strength of most essays is in the quality of their examples, but if you can't link them to the context properly then you're unlikely to get much credit for them, so I suppose the two are equally important.

The best way to work out your strengths is just to write a practice essay. Get some feedback from your teacher (or the forums) and then work out whether your writing is too evidence/discussion dominant. It can be hard to write without feedback in mind sometimes, but you've got to start somewhere.

In this case I'd say be careful not to let your examples do all the work for you. One of the most common mistakes in context pieces is leaving ideas un-developed just because they seem self-explanatory. Also - make sure each example is telling us something new; don't use multiple cases to illustrate the same point. This is where deconstructing the prompt can be helpful

eg. 'We cannot evade the consequences of reality.'

Put simply, there's a lot more in this prompt than just 'how we can (or cannot) evade reality,' and an essay that just explores two sides with a couple of examples for each won't get you much beyond the middle band of marks. There are always more than two sides to a prompt/context. Ask as many questions as possible and see where it takes you. The best way I can put it is: your examples should facilitate discussion, but not dictate it.

Hope that helps :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on May 27, 2014, 01:10:46 pm
Remember to upvote her, people.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: charmanderp on May 27, 2014, 02:02:15 pm
Remember to upvote her, people.
her was a great film but I'm not sure the technology is so real that it's capable of making an account on AN and posting so that I can upvote it.

....

Keep up the good work Lauren!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: yang_dong on May 28, 2014, 09:07:14 pm
how do i upvote?

hey lauren,
i was wondering how would i structure a feature article? any tips?

thanks
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Paulrus on May 28, 2014, 09:27:26 pm
Hi Laura,

60ATAR:

i see what you did there ;)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: smile+energy on May 29, 2014, 07:19:05 am
Remember to upvote her, people.

Certainly will.
Lauren's advice is beneficial :D
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: walkec on May 29, 2014, 08:55:57 pm
Hi Lauren,

We are in the middle of studying Stasiland at the moment for text response, and I was just wondering how you got to know you text inside out besides reading a lot? I currently have a Word document with a table for each chapter, with a column for important quotes, then another column for notes on that quote, then another column linking those to a larger idea in the text. Do you think this is a good idea or is there something else you could suggest that might be more beneficial?

Thanks  :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on May 30, 2014, 12:33:58 pm
yang_dong:
Are you writing a language analysis on a feature article, or actually writing a feature article?
Also the voting function is in the top right hand corner of every post; the little plus and minus buttons :)

Paulrus:
I have no idea what you're talking about *shifty eyes*

walkec:
It sounds like you're doing fine. One thing I would recommend is ordering quotes/discussion points by themes rather than chronologically. Chapter summaries are always good, and you'll need to be able to place events in the text (especially if a prompt contains a quote; you have to know where it's from) but in terms of essay planning, most Text Responses can be structured by either themes or characters, so ordering your notes accordingly is probably best.
Personally I found I rarely annotated any of my english texts (as opposed to my lit books, which were covered in scribbles) but it's up to you. It's usually easier to revise when you have notes in front of you rather than having to go searching through the text.
I'd definitely be working from the text --> out. ie. starting with a quote from the text, relate that to an idea/ character/scene, and then link that to a thematic concern (eg. for Stasiland: memory, delusion, nostalgia, courage, heroism, extremism, etc.)
Apart from that, scour the internet. You'll find heaps on Stasiland, and although some will be very surface level stuff you will have covered already, you might find some interesting ideas or alternate interpretations to discuss. You can't go too far outside the texts in your essay, but some historical socio-cultural details about the text or the author's life can add some sophistication to your discussion. Don't feel you have to force this in, though, since some prompts don't really allow for it :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: smile+energy on May 30, 2014, 03:58:18 pm
I'd say generally an expository essay should aim for a 50:50 ratio between explaining examples and actually talking about the context in an abstract way.

 Also - make sure each example is telling us something new; don't use multiple cases to illustrate the same point. This is where deconstructing the prompt can be helpful

Hi Lauren

I have a few questions wanna ask you. What are the differences between explaining examples and actually talking about the context in an abstract way?
Why I can't use multiple examples to illustrate the same point in expository essays?
How can I deconstruct the prompt?

Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on May 30, 2014, 04:56:07 pm
Explaining the examples is when you're discussing the text, or some external evidence eg. talking about the asylum seeker debate. Then, of course you have to link this to the context. But your essay should be more than 'example-link-example-link.'
You should also try to write some abstract/theoretical stuff about the context. Talk about the nature of conflict (for example) and how this is relevent to the prompt. You can't just point to an example and leave it at that, it's like writing a formula in maths and expecting full marks when you haven't shown your workings!
For example, the prompt: 'Our identities are always changing'
My paragraph might begin by looking at the idea of change, rather than just assuming the reader knows what I'm talking about. Obviously you don't have to give definitions, but it can be helpful to clarify
eg. 'Change is an inevitable part of our lives, but that is not to say all things are changing all the time. Often there are parts of our personas that remain stagnant until external events prompt us to reconsider ourselves, or to react in different ways.' {I haven't used any examples yet, I'm just breaking down some theory. Then I'd work on linking it to a specific idea or piece of evidence}: 'Nowhere is this change more obvious than in adolescence; a time of transition when we are forced to consciously reevaluate our selves in relation to society. In Bruce Beresford's Paradise Road, the majority of the cast are adult actors dealing with adult concepts, and it is easy to forget the children and teenagers that were likewise subject to the harsh conditions of POW camps in WWII. Following one of the choir's productions, we see boys as young as 15 and 16 being sent away to the men's camp as their mothers cry in the background 'no, please, he's just a child!' {I'm paraphrasing here, it's been ages since I saw the movie :P} One can only imagine the irreparable psychological damage this caused the boys. The separation of a child from their mother is incredibly traumatic, and a further indictment of how the brutality of war pervades all aspects of life. Who we are is, of course, a fluid concept, but our identity as a whole isn't entirely self-determined - we cannot ignore the role of external factors.'

Orange: abstract discussion
Purple: specific examples, from the text or otherwise

Like I said, aim for a ratio of roughly 50:50 since an essay with too much purple feels like just a list of examples with no purpose, and an essay with too much orange has no evidence to back it up.

With regards to using multiple examples to illustrate the same point: suppose I was writing on the prompt 'Conflict shows us who the real heroes and villains are' and my contention was: people who are heroes can never be villains, we're either one or the other. If I just wrote an essay filled with the different examples that all said the same thing, I wouldn't actually be exploring ideas, I'd just be exploring one idea. Put in colourful terms: I've got plenty of purple, but my orange discussion is always going to be the same thing, therefore I can't get many marks for it. Your evidence can support your contention, but it should support it in different ways:
eg. para 1 might deal with examples of flawless heroes who have done nothing but good for everyone around them
para 2 would talk about instances when heroes have turned into villains, then I could talk about how they were never truly 'heroes' in the first place
para 3 deals with villains who turn good, and why this makes them heroes instead
para 4: villains who will never change and beyond redemption
All of these paragraphs are arguing the same thing, but using different examples to talk about different ideas.

If you're still having trouble with deconstructing the prompt, go back through this thread and read some earlier posts, I've provided quite a few examples and explanations already.

[Edit] just realised I linked a conflict text to an identity and belonging prompt :P <--incentive not to copy?
I hope this goes to show just how vague these contexts are; you could easily write an essay that deals with all four. And by the end of the year, with any luck you'll be so accomplished in linking ideas and discussion that this will seem completely natural to you :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: smile+energy on May 31, 2014, 11:21:21 am
Your explanation's really good. THANKS HEAPS. :D :D

And I am struggling with the abstract ideas or the nature of the conflict. I'm doing conflict and Paradise Road. I can work out the basic stuff like the causes, people's responses, its effects and consequences; how can I go beyond that to think about the abstract ideas?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: yang_dong on June 01, 2014, 06:57:54 pm
thanks Lauren, you really do deserve these votes :)

I'm planning on writing a feature article for my context piece on the quiet american - encountering conflict.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Einstein on June 01, 2014, 07:28:03 pm
Hey Lauren, how to tell difference between editorial and letter to the editor? and if theirs anymore what would they be? i cant tell the differnce between and them and we have to do a LA exam very soon.

If you had any examples that would be terrific :)
Thanks
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on June 01, 2014, 07:38:01 pm
smile+energy:

It depends on the prompt, but try to ask as many questions as possible, then use your discussion to answer them. I've posted quite a bit on this already, so go back and read some of those examples if you're still confused.

yang_dong:

Check with your teacher to see if s/he has any specific criteria. Otherwise read some articles online in newspapers/magazines to get a feel for what they're like.
If all else fails, go through the VCAA Past Exams Assessor's Reports and see if there are some article formats in the sample response section.

Skyline:

Editorials are usually longer, and sometimes they won't come with an author's name.
Letters to the editor will be shorter, always come with a name, and occasionally a location (eg. Robert, Sunbury) Any newspaper will have examples of this. Some SACs will have these labelled as well, or at least the photocopy might have 'Editorial' or 'Letters to the Editor' at the top. Tbh the form is not too important. so long as you can distinguish between different authors/articles you should be fine.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Einstein on June 01, 2014, 07:49:48 pm
do any of them contain opinions or bias? statistics?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on June 01, 2014, 08:43:26 pm
do any of them contain opinions or bias? statistics?
...that's kind of like asking do any of them contain the letter 'g'
It depends on the article, of course.
Editorials tend to have the same bias as the newspaper, since its editor (the person writing the article) is also in charge of the company as a whole. So The Age and The Australian will be pretty left wing while The Herald Sun is a lot more... extreme
see: 'READING THIS PAPER GIVES YOU CANCER!' and other such journalistic gems.

Any piece you get for L.A. will have an opinion. Bias depends on the issue, and statistics are just one of many different persuasive devices that might be there.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: hyunah on June 01, 2014, 10:55:27 pm
Hi Lauren,

did you do the Quiet American for context: encountering conflict?
I was just wondering why is Fowler so persistent in being a bystander at the very beginning?

Thank you
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Cort on June 02, 2014, 12:32:57 am
Hallo. There is a common debate with the English community regarding the use of voicing. Just reading upon this I figure I can improve my writing slowly overall.

Do you recommend using active voicing? When would you use passive voicing? Which voice would suit what? I normally write formally (in text, context and ULP), and I'm wondering which one would be preferred more  by the examiners, as well as teachers in general.

Thanks,
Cort.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: sailoradio on June 02, 2014, 09:46:43 am
 :-*identity and belonging!

i have a sac  on identity and belonging on Thursday this week, and i also have a history sac on the same day ! ahhhh

anyway i really need some ideas for an essay/expository/imaginative piece of writing

anyone have a clue haha i am so awful at english
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on June 02, 2014, 12:23:50 pm
hyunah:
I haven't studied The Quite American, but I have read it.
Fowler's reticence to get involved is debatable. Some people might argue this is the true role of a journalist, to tell the story without getting involved. Or you could say it's a result of his past experiences in other wars having made him jaded and cynical about humanity, thus he'd rather not entangle himself in things when he believes they'll end badly anyway. I have read one interesting interpretation which looks at the character's name as a pun (FOULer) = a critique of his standing by, inferring it to be an inhumane way of experiencing conflict. In a way his inertia is as despicable as any action undertaken by the other characters.
Ultimately it's a matter of interpretation. If you can justify it, then go for it :)

Cort:
The active voice is the widely accepted form in the English Language, but mixing things up occasionally with the passive voice can be interesting. Don't do this unless you're confident with your grammar though, since you risk turning your sentences into fragments, or just not making sense altogether.
For anyone who doesn't know what we're talking about:
The boy opened the door : Active/Subject-focused
The door was opened by the boy : Passive/Object-focused
I tended to use a couple of passive sentence structures, particularly in Language Analysis eg. 'By suggesting this bus driver to be a danger to the community, the author elicits fear for the safety of children.' (as opposed to: The author elicits fear for the safety of children by suggesting this bus driver is a danger to the community.)
If in doubt, use the active form. The passive voice can be good in moderation, but it can sound a bit too Yoda-y for English.
Writing in a formal voice is definitely preferred for Text Responses and Language Analyses, but you have some leeway with Context. Maybe talk to your teacher about experimenting with different voices, if they have a preference then cater to their whims, for SACs at least :)

sailoradio:
Try reading through some of the practice essays posted on this forum to get a feel for what's expected of you. Revisit your notes from class, go back to whichever text you're studying, and have a think about what external examples you might be able to use.
Sorry if this is a bit vague, but I don't really know what you're struggling with, so try and work out what you need help with exactly.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Ballerina on June 02, 2014, 01:32:23 pm
fifty

dang lauren
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Einstein on June 02, 2014, 06:52:20 pm
how do you incorporaate tweets in a language analysis?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Billion on June 02, 2014, 07:01:13 pm
Hi Lauren,

This may be a broad question, but what's the best way to go about analysing an article that is more informative than persuasive?
Usually it's easier to structure a persuasive article through grouping techniques, approaches or using key players.
However what should you do when an article doesn't really have a clear contention.
For e.g. "Should dangerous dogs be banned?"
In the background information it states; "The online news outlet has a mission of presenting accessible news content that encourages reader engagement."
Essentially, the articles doesn't provide the perspective of the author, but instead accumulates facts and perspectives of others.
E.g; "A recent spate of vicious dog attacks has left at least one expert calling for a ban on dog breeds known to be aggressive or dangerous".
The article just provides information for the public to make their decision, not really coercing the public agree with them.

Hope you can understand, and thanks in advance.

edit;; also, when working on language analysis and other context/text response books in semester 2, what's the best way to remember key themes, characters, quotes from the previously read novels during semester 1. Thanks.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: smile+energy on June 03, 2014, 07:26:50 am
Thank you, Lauren

Do i need to give quotes as evidence for a context piece? 
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on June 03, 2014, 10:11:22 am
Skyline,
You can incorporate tweets like you do every other form of evidence. I'd probably try and make it clear that's what you're doing though; you never know, you might get an assessor who has no idea why you're referencing bird sounds.
Alternatively you could do a creative/expository hybrid where it's a normal essay interpolated with commentary from social media.
I don't know, it'll depend on what sort of tweets you're using, but I think there's a lot of potential there.

Billion,
Rest assured, you'll never get something like this from VCAA, there'll always be a clear, persuasive contention on the end of year exam. For these informative pieces, you can state that the article's intention is to present a balanced argument, and then provide examples of the language it uses to do this. Alternatively, some articles set out to "inform" but end up presenting an imbalance of views, thus attempting to seem impartial is actually a persuasive device.
Or you could look at the way the author constructs certain arguments
E.g; "A recent spate of vicious dog attacks has left at least one expert calling for a ban on dog breeds known to be aggressive or dangerous".
^This immediately sounds like it's pro-banning certain breeds, but maybe it goes on to counter this- I don't know?
If the material is fairly even, just talk about the author allowing the public to make an informed decision based on the evidence. And in terms of paragraph structure, you can still go by key players and use the mini-contentions of all the different views within the article to talk about the overall portrayal of dogs/the proposal/victims/the govt. etc.

With regards to remembering semester one work: everyone has their own strategy. Simple things like L.A. devices or T.R. quotes can just be written or printed out around the house, stuck on the walls in your bedroom, and/or kept at the back of your book for revision. For context, it's more about the general ideas, so having practice paragraphs or essays and rereading them occasionally should help. More importantly though, external examples will be the strongest part of most context essays, so try and collect stuff throughout the year and keep a running list of all the things you could discuss. After awhile you can start grouping these into all the different prompt types (eg. the nature, causes, responses, consequences, and resolutions of conflict) so that when you get into the exam you can just quickly identify the focus and fit your examples in accordingly.
Language Analysis is more formulaic, and once you're comfortable with the format there's not a whole lot you need to rote learn. Do keep up the practice throughout the year though; there's only one L.A. SAC for year 12, and most schools get this out of the way early in Unit 3, so you don't want to lay off for too long and then panic in swot-vac.
For Text Response: I tend to advocate choosing which text you're going to write on in the exam as soon as possible. If you really can't decide then by all means study both, just be aware that's a pretty big workload. Ideally by the September break you'll be able to narrow it down and just focus your study. Read as much as you can about your texts (depending on what you're studying, there's a lot of resources out there) and then just write as many practice essays as it takes to fully flesh out your ideas and ensure you're comfortable with and 'surprise' prompts :)

smile+energy,
No, there's no VCAA requirement for quotes in the exam, but some teachers do prefer it (especially quoting from your set text) in SACs so check with them.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: smile+energy on June 03, 2014, 04:37:49 pm
Thanks, Lauren

Could you tell me what's involved in the intro and conclusion of a expository piece for the Context?  I mix it up with a text response essay.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Rishi97 on June 03, 2014, 09:54:36 pm
Hi Lauren

Have you ever written in a creative manner? Did you find it easier than an essay?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jono_CP on June 03, 2014, 11:33:17 pm
Hi Lauren/anyone willing to assist,

I was wondering for the context area of study of 'Whose Reality?' how much one should focus on the essays provided through the context piece.

E.g. no matter the prompt I always focus on the themes of philosophy and question the objective world around us. Sometimes I want to explore a concept of Leunig's short story essays in depth, but at the expense of a few other essays which I have read and have knowledge of but I don't include in the essay.

How do you balance creativity whilst still explicitly referencing the text to showcase that knowledge? Aforementioned this seems like a tricky balance for an expository piece and still aiming for the really high marks.

Advice would be much appreciated,

Thank you!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on June 07, 2014, 10:27:17 pm
smile+energy:
There's no real criteria for what should be in a T.R. intro, and there's even less for context. So long as you're engaging with the prompt, there are a hundred ways to do it that would be acceptable.
I guess my only helpful advice would be that a T.R. intro is dealing with the set text from the beginning, (with a little bit of historical/authorial background maybe) whereas in Context, you don't have to bring up the text until the body paragraphs, if at all. Have a look at some sample essays, they'll all do it in different ways.

Rishi97:
...I certainly found it more fun. And I suppose it was easier for me to write, but it was harder to score well. How you write in context is entirely up to your own strengths, but as I've said before, expository is the safest style, persuasive is best when you have strong opinions, and creative is for showing off, but it's the riskiest out of the three.
Of course it does depend on the form of your writing too. Something like a psych evaluation report on one of the characters in the text that discusses the ramifications of what they went through could almost be expository in some places, and so is far less risky. But if you're going for a full blown short story, then you do put your self at the mercy of a) dumb assessors b) smart assessors who misinterpret the piece c) lazy assessors who can't be bothered finding the relevance, or d) just writing an irrelevant piece. It can be hard to strike the balance between writing well, and writing what the assessors want from you. Not sure if I've mentioned this on here before, but one of my creative pieces was marked by an ex-VCAA Chief Assessor who wrote: 'You could be given a 6/10 and that is an insult to you.' So whilst the good assessors might recognise writerly merit, they can only give you credit for how well you fulfill their marking rubrics. If you can do this, then more power to you :)

Jono_CP:
Sorry to disappoint, but as with a lot of the context questions here, there is no straight answer. You could write a piece that deals with just one part of your set text, and then use those ideas to propel you on a completely different tangent, or you could write an in-depth analysis of any and all essays that are relevant. That's the key here though: relevance. Yes, you might have knowledge of those other essays and be able to write excellent stuff on them, but if it's not relevant to the prompt then it's not worth much, be selective. You might even have some external research on some of those philosophical ideas, but don't force them in if they don't come naturally as you're writing.
Ideally the balance between detailing your examples and discussing the context in broader terms will be about 50/50. That is a massive generalisation though, but so long as you're not leaning towards an 80/20 ratio you should be fine. Just ensure you're going beyond the text and discussing other ideas rather than just rehashing the same points Leunig makes.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Edward Elric on June 08, 2014, 01:19:34 pm
Hey Lauren

We recently started on context and I have began to look at some prompts to get a feel of what the Sac and exam may ask. For example 'it is society itself that gives individuals their sense of belonging', how would I start answering this Question? I know my Introduction should be exploring the prompt and not getting into the specifics, however at the same time trying to address the whole theme of identity and belonging. Could you please give me an example starting introduction so i can know the structure, and any advice regarding context I would much appreciate, my schools text is the movie skin btw.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Rod on June 08, 2014, 08:38:35 pm
Hi Lauren, wondering if you could please help me brainstorm this prompt

‘It is the victims of conflict who show us what is really important’

Also, do you regurgitating body paragraphs written in practise essays into your essay in your SAC? The prompt we get is unknown, but say some body graphs I've written prior to the SAC relate and suit the prompt, would you recommend using it? Or should we plan ideas on the spot?

Would you also recommend us regurgitating body paragraphs by changing them slightly so they relate to the prompt?

thanks
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: hyunah on June 08, 2014, 09:44:11 pm
thank you lauren,
just a quick question to sum it up:
is that why Pyle is more willing to be involves... with his dogmatic ideologies he is like yup thats the only way to go.. and therefore act? Is there a better way of stating this?
Whereas Fowler is more conservative cause past experience

Thank you
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: T-Infinite on June 08, 2014, 09:55:57 pm
Please clarify and provide some ideas for my conflict SAC coming up very very soon.
The prompt is 'Who we are is truly tested when we encounter conflict'. The text we're doing is the film 'Paradise Road'.

Any advice/ideas would be greatly appreciated :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on June 08, 2014, 10:26:42 pm
Edward Elric:
If you're having structural issues, take a look through some of the sample essays on the English boards, most of them are very high scoring responses that tackle context in many different ways. There's no rule about what can or can't be in your intro. You can keep it theoretical and just unpack the prompt in relation to the context, or you can kick it off with an example and dive right in to telling a story. Read some other students' work then see if you can modify their style, or create your own.

Rod:
Questioning the prompt is the best method of brainstorming, I find. For instance:
‘It is the victims of conflict who show us what is really important’
-What is important?
-^Is this the same for everyone?
-Who are the victims? Is it always clear-cut?
-Do we only learn lessons from the victims?
-How do the victims show us the truth? Is it voluntarily?
-Can we only know what is important after the conflict?
-Once we know what is important, what changes?
This might be a bit tricky at first. You can apply some common questions to pretty much every prompt type, like 'Is this the case for everyone?' or 'What are the exceptions and what do they tell us?' but generally it pays to be more focused in your brainstorming so that your ideas are easier to articulate. After awhile this should become almost automatic. That list took me less than two minutes, and hopefully by the end of the year you'll be in a similar situation no matter what prompt they throw at you.
With regards to memorising and regurgitating responses: this shouldn't be your first resort. Sometimes you'll get lucky and the prompt will be something you've worked on before (if this happens in the exam then fist-pump the air, mentally, and go for it) but it's better to let ideas come naturally to you than to force them in where they don't belong. You should definitely develop a whole range of ideas and examples in practice essays to give yourself the best chance in assessment tasks, but be flexible. You might have 20 examples that you never got to discuss, but the 5 that you use in the SAC will be ones that fit the prompt and your discussion perfectly. Even if you don't end up using or reusing ideas, writing about them has still informed your ability, so it's never a wasted effort.
Overall I'd say don't come into the SAC with a prewritten idea of what you're going to write, but don't go in blind either. Do as much as you can beforehand; if it's relevant, great. If not, brainstorm away :)

hyunah:
Like I said, if you can justify it, then it's a right answer. It sounds like you're on the right track with character motivations, just be prepared to acknowledge multiple interpretations as well. The Quiet American invites a lot of contrary opinions, and good essays can take this into account rather than dictating what each character does/means too rigidly. For context it's more about the abstract ideas anyway, and how these can be generalised to humanity as a whole.

T-Infinite:
Try to do the above demonstration of dissecting/questioning the prompt yourself, let me know if you have trouble.
I'm in the process at the moment of compiling a list of possible examples to use as external evidence in a context essay. I'll post it here when I'm done, but in the meantime, revisit what you've gone over in class, and try to investigate some of your own interest areas and tie those to conflict (eg. stories in the media, movies, historical examples, esp. for Paradise Rd.)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Rod on June 08, 2014, 10:46:56 pm
Thanks so much Lauren!

Yeah definitely won't be doing that.

I've been doing these idea banks on word document and scrapbook, so putting in ideas throughout the term, I'm trying to get as much in so when it comes to exam time I'll be ready for any prompt. Ideas > practise essays

Is this what you did? Or were you just able to remember everything throughout the year?

And one more thing, did you come up with all your ideas? With mine I have, but a lot of them have been from my teacher + study guides.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Edward Elric on June 08, 2014, 11:28:35 pm
Thanks Lauren, but I couldn't find any relevant essays in regards to my context of identity and belonging, and still confused about where to start and how I should be studying for this. I have watched the movie once already and have made my own notes, and read through some that my teacher gave me. Now I am eager to start writing essays. Thanks.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: RazzMeTazz on June 09, 2014, 08:22:44 pm
Hi,

I only recently realised that teachers find a conclusion that begins with 'To conclude' cringe-worthy, but what about the other typical concluding words such as 'Therefore' 'Hence' 'Thus'.

Should you not use such words to start a conclusion either? But instead just start writing the conclusion without such words at the beginning?

Thanks!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Yacoubb on June 09, 2014, 08:38:59 pm
Hi,

I only recently realised that teachers find a conclusion that begins with 'To conclude' cringe-worthy, but what about the other typical concluding words such as 'Therefore' 'Hence' 'Thus'.

Should you not use such words to start a conclusion either? But instead just start writing the conclusion without such words at the beginning?

Thanks!

I use 'In essence, ____' for my conclusion starters.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: RazzMeTazz on June 09, 2014, 09:53:36 pm
I use 'In essence, ____' for my conclusion starters.

Thanks for the tip! :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on June 10, 2014, 12:02:20 am
Rod:
You're definitely better off writing notes on all your ideas. Most schools cover context in Terms 2 and 4. By the time you revisit this stuff at the end of the year, for a while you won't know what the hell is going on, so keep it all in your notes and look over it from time to time so that you don't lose track completely. Anyone who tells you they remembered all their ideas is either a liar, or a person with pretty shit ideas.
What I wrote had its foundations in study guides and articles I read, but most of my essays went beyond all that, since I was hyper aware of the fact that if I was reading something freely accessible to anyone with google, I don't want my ideas pre-empted by someone who read the same stuff. It's all excellent groundwork though, and it's kind of foolish not to read all that stuff, or partake in class discussion. Just know that your analysis must go beyond, so question as much as you can.

Edward Elric:
This link will take you to some sample essays for context if you're still struggling with the structure. Don't rush into the essay writing process though; develop your ideas first. Maybe write up a viewing log of the film, do some character analyses or look at some major quotes, then move into paragraphs, then start fully fledged essays. Writing practice pieces this soon is like attempting a methods exam before learning the content and just expecting you'll pick it up along the way. Some talented people might, but you're better off learning the process, or formula, so you can apply it yourself.

RazzMeTazz:
'In essence...' is a good one, thanks Yacoubb :)
Therfore... Hence... and Thus... are all good too. I often used Essentially... and Fundamentally... but these were kind of throwaway lines without the ideas behind them, so use whatever is suited to your discussion.
I also had a terrible habit of beginning paragraphs with Although... or In spite of... because it was an easy way to acknowledge multiple interpretations. Just don't overuse it like I did :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: scandin9 on June 10, 2014, 02:22:21 pm
Hi Lauren,
What would you advise an english student do when they are not confident with writing essays in one hour?How does one overcome time issues in the english examination?
Thanks in advance!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: RazzMeTazz on June 10, 2014, 02:53:13 pm
Thanks so much for the help! :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jono_CP on June 10, 2014, 10:24:26 pm
Hey Lauren,

I am unsure as to what preparation I should be doing in these last few days for Whose Reality...

E.g. I know my publication, know the audience, know the form and have a fair idea of outside sources...

What should I be doing?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on June 10, 2014, 10:31:21 pm
scandin 9
Gradually work your way down, rather than aiming to write something in an hour at this stage of the year. I know a lot of you will be doing practice exam preparation right about now, and depending on your school, they may be throwing you in the deep end with an essay per hour. If this is the case, start with what you're currently doing (let's say, it takes you three hours, with notes in front of you.) Get yourself down to about a 2 hour average, then enforce SAC conditions. Write without the aid of books or notes and see if you can wittle the time down to something more manageable. Ideally you'll be doing this gradually throughout the year rather than going cold turkey.
Most importantly though, you can overcome time issues the same way you overcome every other problem in English; know what you're doing wrong! Does it take you too long because you don't have enough ideas? If so, then go back and revisit the key concepts, build up your repository of notes and try again. Or is progress slow because you can't work out how to articulate your ideas? If that's the case, work on your vocabulary and expression throughout the year. Working out what, specifically, is your weakness will be half the battle.

Jono_CP:
ditto^ I can give you a general checklist of what you should have covered at this stage, but a more effective way of going about this is knowing what your common pitfalls are. If you have a preconceived idea of what you'll be writing, are there any prompts that could surprise you? Do you have a backup plan? Or if you already know the prompt, are there any angles you haven't considered yet that could stand out as gaping holes in your essay? Do you have enough textual links, implicit and explicit? Do your external examples compliment your focus? Is your vocab up to scratch?
I cannot emphasise this enough, know where you're at, and what areas can be improved. It will make actually improving a lot easier.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jono_CP on June 10, 2014, 10:44:16 pm
Jono_CP:
ditto^ I can give you a general checklist of what you should have covered at this stage, but a more effective way of going about this is knowing what your common pitfalls are. If you have a preconceived idea of what you'll be writing, are there any prompts that could surprise you? Do you have a backup plan? Or if you already know the prompt, are there any angles you haven't considered yet that could stand out as gaping holes in your essay? Do you have enough textual links, implicit and explicit? Do your external examples compliment your focus? Is your vocab up to scratch?
I cannot emphasise this enough, know where you're at, and what areas can be improved. It will make actually improving a lot easier.
[/quote]

Thanks Lauren!

I completely take heed of your advice - I just seem to be lacking motivation for some odd reason... E.g. I feel like this is to a certain degree based on fortune and what you have echoed to me: relevance & quantity. All that is based on the prompt, for which I do not know yet. I feel like I have done enough practice SACs with enough feedback, probably looking over potential prompts is a good idea.

If I am doing a sophisticated magazine report on philosophical ideas questioning reality, what would you be looking for as an assessor?

Sorry, if this is such a pointless question. I have to be productive and at the moment I am not doing anything
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Cheddar Cheese on June 11, 2014, 08:25:15 pm
Hey Lauren,

I'm currently in year 10 right now and I have a TERRIBLE english teacher. We literally have not written an essay all year, and I can safely say that I did about ten times more work in year 7 for english than I am doing this year. It's soooo frustrating, because I know I'm good at English, and I know I have potential to do really well in VCE - how am I meant to cope when being thrown in the deep end next year? I'm so afraid that this is going to be detrimental to my study score. The other classes are all doing in-class essays, and we've spent the whole term reading seven chapters of the book - today we started watching the movie of the book. I am honestly trying to do some work outside of school (as crazy as it sounds, I try to write an essay per week on any of the books I read for pleasure, since I know them much better than anything we learn at school SINCE MY TEACHER IS TERRIBLE). There's only so far I can improve myself, though, so I was wondering if you had any tips? How did you prepare for VCE english in years 9 and 10?

Also, in year 11, do you start learning context and language analysis, or is it just text response? thanks :)

Lastly, would you be able to estimate how many sac marks could be lost to achieve a fifty, provided one does well on the exam? What about a 49? Sorry if I'm asking too much of you haha, but I'm just wondering (I know I'm only in year 10, but I like thinking ahead).

Thanks heaps!! xx
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on June 11, 2014, 08:57:18 pm
Don't worry, my year 10 teacher wasn't much better. Fingers crossed you get someone good for year 12 :)

Regarding essay writing, sometimes that's not the most effective way to learn. It's certainly the best way to apply your knowledge, and it's a major part of studying, but often (especially at the beginning of the year or at the start of a new unit) you're better off reading widely, researching, discussing and thinking before you go writing essays for the sake of it.
Don't get me wrong, if what you're doing now feels like effective study then go for it, but don't feel you should be performing under year 12 type conditions. That said, a lot of students wait until their last year (or last term) to actually pay attention to english, so it's great that you're putting the effort in early.

My biggest tip would be to read heaps. It'll give you a massive edge in year 12, and picking up new vocab is always good. My preparation in years 9, 10 and even 11 wasn't really exam-oriented. I didn't fully understand the format of the course or the marking criteria until the start of year 12, but I read a lot, which helped me develop and articulate ideas anyway. If you're looking for inspiration, I've put together a list of helpful tidbits I've come across that tie in well with context studies, but are also just worth reading, watching, or researching anyway:

CONTEXT: EXTERNAL EXAMPLES POST link
[/selfpromotion]

Also, in case you're not aware, and for everyone else's benefit, the current VCE English Study Design will end at the end of next year, so class of 2016 will be the first under the new regime.
There are some interesting changes: Language Analysis and Text Response seem largely unchanged, though one of the TR SACS has to be a creative piece. The oral is now worth more, and there are some major differences to the EAL course.
And they've abolished context, replacing it with a sort of literary comparison from what I gather. You're assigned (or choose?) two texts, then write an essay contrasting them in terms of theme, character, values, messages etc.

So while I admire your ambition, don't go learning any context stuff. Hopefully they'll go easy on you for the first year :)

Re: SAC marks, the actualy number doesn't mean anything, aside from giving you a general indication of where you're at. What matters is your ranking in relation to everyone else in your cohort. Provided you maintain an A/A+ average and ace the exam, there's little stopping you from getting a 50. Personally, I would have dropped a few marks on the first few SACs, but I fought my way back to rank 1 and was in the very top bunch of 50s in the end (as was the rank 2 in my class). Normally I'd say focus on the content for now anyway, but since context is gone, your TR texts will change, I suppose you could familiarise yourself with LA so you'll have an easier time? But I think concentrating on your own writing style will help the most, and like I keep saying, know where your weakspots are.

All the best :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Cheddar Cheese on June 11, 2014, 11:32:26 pm
Oh wow!!! I never knew that. Thanks so much for telling me hahaha....I'm happy that the oral's worth more now since that's one of my assets, but pretty sad that I can't write a creative in the exam (but at least I can write one for a sac haha).


When reading and meeting a foreign word, would you try to memorise it on the spot, or did you have a special book or something that you wrote it in? Do you mean reading stuff like the hunger games or stuff like jayne eyre?


Also I have another question (lol sorry): how long would you get in sacs? And would they vary (if a sac is worth 30 marks, did you get the same amount of time to complete it that you did in unit 4, when they are worth much more?) Thanks!!!!!!! :))

Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on June 12, 2014, 10:17:12 am
If you're going out of your way to learn new words, there's no way you'll be able to memorise them all, so what I did was keep a list at the back of my english workbook with the word, its definition, and an example of how it's used. But since you aren't in year 12 and you'll presumably change workbooks, or maybe even go digital, I think keeping a little notebook nearby is probably best.
In terms of what you're reading, you can mix it up a little. Once in awhile, try to read above your level though. This will ensure you're actually learning and challenging yourself rather than remaining comfortable at the same level. This can be draining though, so some Young Adult/Hunger Games type stuff can be a good reprise. I've listed some good dystopian fiction on the Context Examples thread if you need a starting point.

VCAA doesn't actually prescribe the duration or conditions of the SAC, just the recommended word length. So some schools will give you 50 minutes, exam conditions and an unseen prompt, others will give you the prompt weeks in advance, 5 hours across 5 days, and the teacher will walk you through everything. This is where moderation comes into play to ensure no one has an unfair advantage. So that first school would have their marks scaled up, the second would have their marks scaled down, and most others in the state fit somewhere in between. Supposedly it gives everyone an equal chance at high marks, though ultimately your exam will be the biggest contributing factor.
They do vary though; some of mine were 50 minutes, some 90. And I know of teachers who will extend a SAC for a day or two if everyone is struggling. It all depends on the school, and hopefully this will still be the case when you get to VCE :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Valyria on June 12, 2014, 07:33:08 pm
Hey Lauren,

For a 'structure' analytical text response for a novel that has flashbacks interspersed throughout the text, how would I explore flashbacks within the body paragraphs? Moreover, because I'm studying Cat's Eye, the chapter titles are based on paintings the protagonist has drawn throughout her life would it be appropriate to talk about these iconographic symbols in a structure essay? If so, how would I relate it to the broader notion of 'structure'?

Thanks :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on June 12, 2014, 08:33:40 pm
90ATAR:
Yes, from what I understand of your plan, I think that would be okay. You'd have to be careful with your writing ability, and whether or not you're capable of creating such a convincing premise to begin with. Also, it might seem like a bit of a flimsy premise to build upon. The twist can be the crux of your piece, but there has to be development elsewhere too; they can't really give you credit just for demonstrating that.
But props for trying something different; SACs are for taking risks, sometimes. It sounds like you're on the right track, best of luck for tomorrow :)

Valyria:
You can incorporate flashbacks like you would any other evidence. Your discussion doesn't have to be chronological, in fact for structural questions it can be better to jump around and look at many different parts of the text. I'm not too familiar with Cat's Eye, but yes those vignette-sounding-things could form a nice link, eg: 'Attwood's visual representation of the headless chicken, as seen at the beginning of chapter 2, is dominated by a sense of gore and senselessness. She mirrors this in her writing by emphasising the "hungry bloodlust" of the butcher, as well as having her childish narrator gaze in uncomprehending wonder at the spectacle. Thus this iconography compliments the text's overall ambiance of death and decay... etc.'
Like I said, I'm not too familiar with this one, but you get the idea :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on June 12, 2014, 09:14:15 pm
Hey Lauren could you please reply to my email :P

I've got questions there and I cbf putting it on this forum  :)
Why don't you copy and paste it?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jono_CP on June 12, 2014, 11:08:47 pm
I sacrificed quantity for quality and relevance to the prompt...

Hope this goes ok... I even tailored some of my 'supreme' outside sources to still be relevant....

Fingers crossed ?!?!?!?!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Valyria on June 13, 2014, 10:47:11 am
Valyria:
You can incorporate flashbacks like you would any other evidence. Your discussion doesn't have to be chronological, in fact for structural questions it can be better to jump around and look at many different parts of the text.

I may have misinterpreted what you meant by jumping around but shouldn't the body paragraphs for a structure question be based on exposition, incitement etc.? Wouldn't jumping around render the structural ordering of my body paragraphs redundant?

I'm not too familiar with Cat's Eye, but yes those vignette-sounding-things could form a nice link, eg: 'Attwood's visual representation of the headless chicken, as seen at the beginning of chapter 2, is dominated by a sense of gore and senselessness. She mirrors this in her writing by emphasising the "hungry bloodlust" of the butcher, as well as having her childish narrator gaze in uncomprehending wonder at the spectacle. Thus this iconography compliments the text's overall ambiance of death and decay... etc.'
Like I said, I'm not too familiar with this one, but you get the idea :)

That was finesse! Thanks :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on June 13, 2014, 04:17:28 pm
I may have misinterpreted what you meant by jumping around but shouldn't the body paragraphs for a structure question be based on exposition, incitement etc.? Wouldn't jumping around render the structural ordering of my body paragraphs redundant?
What I meant was you don't have to order your evidence chronologically. If you'r looking at a specific character or how an idea unfolds throughout the text, then you can 'jump around' in the sense that your discussion can begin with: 'Atwood's eventual punishment of character X is foreshadowed by an overwhelming sense of unease throughout the text. This is primarily accomplished through the use of __ from the outset, though this reaches its zenith when ___ happens later on. This occurs as a result of X's flashback in which he is reminded of the horrors of his past... etc.'
Don't feel as though you have to summarise the story chronologically or make a big exposition dump in order to talk about it. You still have to explain your examples, but you can assume your assessor has a basic knowledge of the text.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Rod on June 19, 2014, 04:32:40 pm
Hey Lauren :)

Could you please explain Marxism
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: sparked on June 19, 2014, 08:01:28 pm
Hey Rod,

saw this question and as a bit of a political nut, I'm going to attempt to do this response justice (I'm sure Lauren won't mind ;) ):

Generally accredited to one of the most well known political philosophers of all time - Karl Marx, Marxism is set of philosophical beliefs pertaining to resource allocation, political empowerment and general matters of class equality for citizens in a modernised society.

Karl Marx believed that it was a problem that the METHODS OF PRODUCTION (factories, farms etc.) and the PROFITS of labour were worked for and produced by the average citizen (proletariats) but nearly always ended up in the hands of a small, upper-class elite. Over time this inequality would inevitably lead to a revolution by the working classes and as a result, would eventually lead to a communist society where class was equal and the methods and fruits of production would be shared equally amongst all.

TL;DR - Marxism supports an equal distribution of resources amongst all people, a watered-down version of more radical communism.



Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: vintagea on June 19, 2014, 10:13:17 pm
Hi Lauren,
can u please explain to me what this short poem is trying to imply?
stump of a figtree, useless kind of wood,
was i once; then the carpenter, not sure
whether to make a priapus or a stool
opted for god...

thank you
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Rod on June 19, 2014, 11:02:45 pm
Hey Rod,

saw this question and as a bit of a political nut, I'm going to attempt to do this response justice (I'm sure Lauren won't mind ;) ):

Generally accredited to one of the most well known political philosophers of all time - Karl Marx, Marxism is set of philosophical beliefs pertaining to resource allocation, political empowerment and general matters of class equality for citizens in a modernised society.

Karl Marx believed that it was a problem that the METHODS OF PRODUCTION (factories, farms etc.) and the PROFITS of labour were worked for and produced by the average citizen (proletariats) but nearly always ended up in the hands of a small, upper-class elite. Over time this inequality would inevitably lead to a revolution by the working classes and as a result, would eventually lead to a communist society where class was equal and the methods and fruits of production would be shared equally amongst all.

TL;DR - Marxism supports an equal distribution of resources amongst all people, a watered-down version of more radical communism.
Great explanation! Thanks heaps Sparks :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on June 21, 2014, 06:34:42 pm
Rod:

I think sparked pretty much covered everything :) Though I would add, there's a distinction to be made between theoretical Marxism and a Marxist society in practice. The general consensus is that true Marxist communism has never been achieved, and that the socialist states that exist now/ have existed in the past are involve deviations from the original philosophy.
But if you're looking at Marxist readings of texts, then knowing the theory should help immensely. Often Marxist readings focus on the 'bourgeoisie' and the 'proletariat' ie. the capitalist class who control the wealth/means of production vs. the working class, with a favoured view of the latter, obviously. So a lot of period literature eg. Austen, Dickens etc. can be read through a Marxist lens in that its message is one of social equality and equal distribution; even if this is not what the author intended, there can still be ideological undertones or allusions.


vintagea:
hmm.. if this is from Horace's Satire like I think it is, then you might have a slight mistranslation (or an alternate one?)
I was once a fig-tree’s trunk, a lump of useless wood,
Till the carpenter, uncertain whether to carve Priapus
Or a stool, decided on the god.

It's mainly the carpenter bit that's different in the original. Nonetheless, ignoring the historical context, the poem seems to be exploring the limits of creation and potential. The speaker employs prosopopoeia in speaking through the voice of a tree trunk/wood, describing his own transformation, and how his form is at the mercy and whim of his 'creator.' The carpenter could carve the wood into Priapus, one of the Greek fertility gods, or a stool; in a way this is like a spectrum of importance: a god that is worshiped and revered, or a stool that is sat on, stepped on and generally ignored. From memory the passage goes on to become the voice of Priapus, since the carpenter has given him the form of a god, it is only natural for the speaker to adopt a new voice. It then goes on to explore the limits of this new creation (not sure how much context you have/need) but I think the poem's central message is one of creative potential and malleability.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Rod on June 21, 2014, 10:00:13 pm
thanks lauren
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: vintagea on June 24, 2014, 10:19:41 pm
thank you Lauren :)

can you help me derive the meaning of this quote too?
“Even   a   wool   merchant   has   not   only   to   buy   cheap   and   sell   dear   but   also   ensure   that   the   
wool   trade   continues   unimpeded"
 
thank you
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jason12 on June 24, 2014, 10:32:26 pm
how to go more "in depth" in identity and belonging concepts.

example prompt: there always costs to the individual in belonging to a group
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on June 25, 2014, 02:11:26 pm
“Even a wool merchant has not only to buy cheap and sell dear but also ensure that the wool trade continues unimpeded"
I'm assuming this is from Life of Galileo? It sounds familiar... in that context I'd say you should try to link it to Galileo's overall intentions as portrayed by Brecht. From memory he was talking about the study of science at the time and justifying his decision to remain involved in an "academic" community that was largely inhibited by the whims of the Church. It's kind of like how doctors might read medical reviews or journals about a specialist area different to their own; yes, a brain surgeon is primarily concerned with his or her own field, but the progress being made in dermatology or dentistry might interest them too. So Galileo employs the metaphor of a wool merchant who makes a living through trade, but is also a part of a broader movement or discipline, just like how Galileo wants to remain a part of a larger scientific discourse.

Jason12:
I've touched on this before, but try to ask as many questions as possible. This goes for Text Responses too; pick apart all the different bits and implications of the prompt to ensure you're looking at more complex ideas than just whatever the prompt is guiding you towards. So for your example: a few to get you started... are there always costs? Do these only affect the individual? What does it mean to belong to a group? Can there be benefits as well as costs? Why are their costs? Is this a good thing, ie. should we endure the costs for the sake of belonging, or is it better to remain true to yourself? etc. etc.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: scandin9 on June 27, 2014, 07:34:58 pm
Hi Lauren,
If I complete 1/2 literature in Year 11 and then transfer to English 3/4 will the 'skills' acquired in lit assist with English 3/4?
Kind Regards,
Scandin

Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on June 29, 2014, 09:23:15 pm
Realistically, you could do 3/4 English without and 1/2 background. The "skills" are actually fairly easy to grasp, and the course can pretty much be taught in a couple of weeks, then it's just a matter of practice essays.
In terms of transferring skills... I found passage analyses gave me a minor advantage when it came to language analysis,  but that might just because I enjoyed both and found them quite easy. Literature is far more text-oriented than English so if you are transferring you'll have to familiarise yourself with how a Text Response differs, as well as the entire Context section which is basically the opposite of a P.A.
But Lit does emphasise the importance of writing ability, which is something that will definitely serve you well in English. I guess I'd say some of the skills do transfer, but you'll be on the back foot in terms of familiarity with the course, so Semester 1 of Year 12 might require a bit of catch-up work :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: vintagea on July 01, 2014, 05:48:31 pm
thank you lauren

so just continuing... yes it is from life of galileo :)
larger scientific discourse? did he mean he wanted to be scientific and still be devoted to the church? is that what you meant?

and is there ever a time when religion and science complement each other?
cause there are many examples of how they don't like the big bang/ artisotle view of earth etc...

thank you
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: marsbareater12 on July 01, 2014, 06:28:25 pm
Hi Lauren - first off, congratulations on the 50, that's amazing!

I'm having trouble putting my sophisticated ideas into my essay. So like, I'll understand that - idk, the motif of the mirrors repeated in the passage is evidence of the demure state of the main character, reflecting the assigned roles at the time of writing - but when it comes to the essay I'm literally like "There was bomb. Bomb is bad. Everyone die. Boom"

What would be the best way to go about improving the incorporation of ideas/understanding into the essay? (This is for both context and text response, fyi, but I seem to struggle more with the latter)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on July 01, 2014, 07:00:08 pm
marsbareaeater12:
Based on what you've said, Id say your problem lies in your understanding of what the task is asking you to do. My best and most simple advice for you:
- Never recount the story by telling us "there was a bomb."
- Always ask yourself WHY? (eg. Why is the bomb bad?)
- Look at the implications (kinda links to point 1, but something like 'everyone die' can be used to greater effect.)
I've written about this in an earlier post but having an awareness of the text as a construct seems to be a sticking point for VCAA.
"There was bomb. Bomb is bad. Everyone die. Boom"
Okay, but this is purely summary. You're writing as though the bomb is real; you have to show an awareness of the fact that everything in the text is a decision made by the author. For example:

The imagery of senseless destruction and carnage reaches its zenith in the explosion of the fireworks factory at the end of Act 3. The audience is never granted an insight into the characters' reactions to this unexpected tragedy as there are no survivors, perhaps indicative of Shakespeare's innate psychopathy and deep seated desire to wipe out the entire population of Stratford-upon-Avon. This scene was evocative not only for Elizabethan audiences who were no doubt bemused at the very idea of fireworks, but also for contemporary audiences who are encouraged to view the play as an irrefutable tragedy, succinctly encapsulated in the final, plangent stage direction: "Boom."

If you find yourself reverting back to simplistic summations of what the characters did or what happens in the plot, force yourself to look at things from the perspective of the author's intent or the readers'/audiences' perception. From the sounds of your first example, you know how to do this, and granted it may not come as naturally to you as the simpler option, but now that you're aware of what you're doing wrong, try to keep the structure of the text or the author's views and values in mind as you're writing.

The only other thing I'd say is depending on which text(s) you're studying, you might need to broaden your purview a bit. Again there are some earlier posts in this thread if you want to check them out, but when it comes to sophisticated ideas, you'll have to go beyond what you've covered in class discussions or basic study guides. If you're lucky there'll be some academic articles or theses written about your text or context, otherwise you may have to hunt around some more. Other people's essays are a good place to start, or you could always integrate some socio-historical context where relevant.

Without having read your work or knowing what you're studying I can't say much else, but if you're really stuck for context check out the ~*Context External Examples Guide*~ and see if there's anything there that piques your interest. It's usually much easier to come up with better ideas when you've got the interesting subject matter to deal with them :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: M_BONG on July 01, 2014, 07:50:14 pm
Hey Lauren!

I don't know if this has been answered previously? If so, I am sorry for asking again

But for context, do you believe each of expository, creative and persuasive have equal opportunities of scoring a high mark (ie. 9/10?). For me I feel like expository is the safest option; but I was looking to write a persuasive piece for my next context. Problem is, I have actually not met anyone who has done a persuasive piece. Do you know what holds people back from doing persuasive pieces? Is it because they don't score well or is it because people are innately bad at forming arguments?

I am doing Whose Reality (Death of a Salesman) and I was looking to write a feature article (on the New York Times) on Independents Day (Fourth of July) arguing why the American Dream is a distant goal that is unattainable, drawing on Death of a Salesman. Do you think that could work?

EDIT: I realise Independence Day is supposed to be celebratory, patriotic etc. Would an article that effectively criticises the American Dream, published on Independence Day, be too unrealistic?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on July 01, 2014, 08:49:34 pm
Zezima:
Objectively, each style has equal chance, but this can't be said for each student. And English is nothing if not subjective. Personally, I didn't have strong enough opinions to write a persuasive piece, and I always ended up sounding really uncertain about everything, so that didn't work for me at all. Conversely, my creative pieces were better but I found it hard to keep things relevant and ended up writing expositarily (?) because it was the safest option for me.

I'd say it's definitely worth trying out the different styles though, and it sounds like your feature article would involve some expository elements anyway. (Hybrids are probably the safest styles the more I think about it..) It's not a very popular option because it's difficult to write something engaging and emphatic about a prompt like: 'Reality affects people in different ways' but if you can bring a creative twist to this then I think you'll be fine.

I think Independence Day would actually be the best possible time to criticise the American Dream. Just like how in Australia articles about our bogan/racist culture always crop up around Australia Day, that's when patriotism is at the forefront of people's minds. I'd probably be putting a few disclaimer-type sentences in there about 'Of course, I'm not opposed to healthy ambition, but...' just so you don't sound too extreme.

Though I would argue that perhaps the point of the American Dream is that it's not attainable or tangible, but rather a goal that people are perpetually reaching for in order to better themselves, but I think your point about the potential dangers of this is definitely worth exploring.

Trialing a different writing style won't lock you into writing that way for the exam, so see how you go both in terms of how easy it is to write and the feedback you get. Hope it all works out for you :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jono_CP on July 02, 2014, 07:24:22 pm
Hi everyone,

I was wondering whether anyone could assist me with reference to providing me guidance on structuring this essay based on a play script?

The sample essay is: "Plays can influence our view of life as they often challenge our values, encouraging us to respond to a particular issue. To what extent do you agree?"

Our teacher gave us this intro as a basis for following up I suppose... "Plays are designed to challenge our values and perceptions. "No Sugar" by Jack Davis presents indigenous issues in a potent manner by using incentive staging and characterisation."

Just a brief summary so you guys know what I am broadly responding towards: This play is predominately about the hardship indigenous Australians suffered between 1929 and 1934, a period for Indigenous Australians which was dominated by Protectionism/Control policy. It explores the themes of injustice, violence, racism, identity, dispossession, poverty, family and the impact of government controls on Australian Indigenous peoples.

Our teacher said a recommended but not a compulsory structure could be: characters (body paragraph 1), staging (body paragraph 2) and themes (body paragraph 3). However, I am not too sure about this...

How do I treat this? Can I formulate this as a text response essay?

Assistance would be much appreciated, thank you!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on July 02, 2014, 08:25:16 pm
Our teacher said a recommended but not a compulsory structure could be...
This is teacher code for compulsory.
Maybe your teacher genuinely was just suggesting a possible format, but in my experiences when teachers "recommend" something, they're rarely pleased when you go in another direction
(^sweeping generalisation, but broad strokes paint the fence faster and all that)

If you were asking about essay structures for the exam I'd give you some more options, but seeing as this seems to be just an in-class assessment, whatever your teacher is telling you will probably be the best advice.

'No Sugar' is on the Text Response list, so yes you'll be treating it pretty much like a Text Response.

The three paragraph plan you've outlined should be sufficient, just be careful not to be too restrictive in your focus. Ensure the whole essay flows, and don't just have a demarcated: 'This is a paragraph about staging' type topic sentences.

If you're really struggling then maybe you could ask your teacher for some guidance/ a sample piece?
There probably aren't a lot of No Sugar references out there atm. Perils of first year texts.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: vididid on July 02, 2014, 09:21:34 pm
Hey Lauren,

I am doing Whose Reality? For context  based on Death of a Salesman, and was hoping to do a future scene of a play where Biff is on his little ranch but could I make it a soliloquy? Or have him express his emotions to his wife?

sorry I'm just a bit lost for ideas at this stage and wanted a fresh opinion :)

Thank-you  :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: smile+energy on July 03, 2014, 03:56:39 pm
Hi, Lauren

Do you know what does the word "phosphoresces" means?
I tried to look it up but I couldn't find the meaning.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on July 03, 2014, 04:04:47 pm
Did you mean "phosphorescence?"
(lol, I sound like google)

Phosphorescence refers to a glow you get from radiation.
Think Mr. Burns from that Simpsons episode about aliens:

(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-aZ2nBraDLTI/UWw0se86DBI/AAAAAAAAAeo/gxbFgEazTs4/s1600/mr_burns_alien.jpg)

I suppose "phosphoresces" might refer to the actual radiation or light particles being emitted, but I've never heard that word before and I don't have much of a physics brain so that's the best I can do I'm afraid.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jono_CP on July 04, 2014, 01:05:23 am
Hi Lauren and anybody willing and able to assist,

I will post an essay here for the purpose of feedback and criticism, I understand that there is an 'English Work Submission' page. Alas, I have attempted this before, and hardly received any replies - hopefully I can be excused this one time??? :)

The stage drama ‘No Sugar’ set in Northam, Western Australia during the Great Depression in 1929-1934 by Jack Davis, presents indigenous issues in a potent manner by using inventive staging, themes and characterisation. Davis juxtaposes the verbal language used by Nyoongar-Aboriginal families, commonly referred to as Nyoongah in this theatrical production, and the European Australians colloquial language through conflictual values of power and cultural identity. ‘No Sugar’ challenges the readers’ values by providing a voice for the Aboriginal people, confronting European Australians with the past, restoring Aboriginal culture and exploring the importance of equality due to the impact of government controls on Australian Indigenous peoples. The issue of power is an indomitable issue which is used as a way to convey its message to the audience.

The Nyoongah language forms the themes of cultural identity and power to alienate the audience and other characters in the drama to empathise with the Aborigines. “He’s my gnoolya, sir” is an example of Nyoongah language in the play. Sam uses this dialogue in the courtroom scene to answer the Justice of the Peace’s question, however, the Justice of the Peace fails to comprehend Sam’s statement and so too the audience. This places the audience in a state of temporary confusion until being briefed that “gnoolya” means brother-in-law. The theme of power is manifested as both the reader and other characters do not understand what is taking place. This is a reversal of the events the Aborigines had to endure in the sense that when the Europeans colonised Australia, the Aborigines hardly voiced a word of English. Sam later opposes conforming to the Western style of life when he says “Koorawoorung! Noyoohngahs corroboreein’ to a wetjala’s brass band!” The collaboration of “white mans” English and the Aborigines Nyoongah in Sam’s sentence, highlights the theme of cultural identity as the Aborigines have not completely conformed to the western lifestyle, having also kept their cultural heritage. This creates a unique culture of its own towards the audience as the Aborigines have not abandoned their traditional language and culture but have merely incorporated it into the Western style of life.

Australian’s colloquial language is used to construct the stereotypes of white Australians and also to help shape the theme of power and influence the Aboriginals way of life. Frank’s “No, there’s about ten other blokes” is quote that reveals an informal, laid-back use of language. The fact that he chose to use the word “bloke” instead of man or male constructs a stereotypical character, as bloke is predominately implemented within Australian society and hence reveals a laid-back type of character. Sergeant Carrol also uses colloquial language when he wants to say something of the record and on an intimate level. As the Sergeant uses phrases such as “next time I’ll nail him” and “The last bloke I nabbed for supplying is doing three months hard labour in Fremantle.” He loses his status of power and brings himself to a common hierarchy instead of one of authority. The fact that he uses this language when he wants to speak on a casual basis implies towards the reader, that the use of colloquial language is used to construct a character of equal power and at an informal level, the traits of a stereotypical Australian.

Auber Octavius Neville is the only character in the play that uses conventional language consistently. His use of conventional language shapes his character and forms the theme of power. “My dear Minister, herewith the information requested” is an example of the formal language he uses and creates a sense of detachment towards the audience, thus discouraging the reader to respond directly to authority. Furthermore, Neville displays an arrogant trait when he says “the proposed budget cut of three thousand one hundred and thirty-four pounds could be met by discontinuing the supply of meat in native rations”, Davis reflects Neville to be an individual who doesn’t care about the people he is affecting but rather wishes to benefit himself and a minority group. The fact that he possess this type of power, reinforces the audiences’ dislike of him as he is supposed to be the Chief Protector of Aborigines, and yet his ‘noble’ actions further disadvantage them. Davis uses colloquial language to shape authority and identity, as well as constructing unsympathetic characters such as A.O. Neville.

Characters such as Topsy and Billy are representations of those Aborigines who do not fight for their rights. These individuals essentially bow down to white authority, Billy who does not speak Nyoongah but mild English, is content to work for the white authorities tracking down members of his own race who escape their clutches. Milly’s response to the Sergeant when he tells her that her conundrum is she has three grown men budging off her, who are too lazy to work, is by asking him “Where they gonna get work?” she asks the Sergeant “Do you want em to work for nothing?” and Gran backs her up by saying “Their not slaves you know Chargent!” The staging is also used as an added technique to provide the Aboriginal people with a voice, against the arrogance and superiority of those in authority, such as Sergeant. Davis utilises Topsy and Billy to confront the audience with characters who prefer to stay within their comfort zone, and not challenge white supremacy. Thus, the audience is disinclined to respond towards the passivity of conscience Billy and Topsy ultimately adopt.

Throughout the play, Aboriginals are marginalised as they are told where to go, what to do and how to go about life. The play was staged on a perambulate model, meaning that the action of the play shifts between many locations. There is the town of Northam with the Police Station and two Cells, the Main Street and the Government Well Aboriginal Reserve. Further away, there is the Moor River Native Settlement with the Superintendent’s office, the Millimurra family’s tent and the Aboriginal camp at Long Pool. There is also the Chief Protectors Office and the Western Australian Historical Society in Perth and an area by the railway line. This allows for Davis’ conception of marginalisation between the audience and the play. This can be perceived as an incumbent motivator for the marginalisation that the Europeans forced upon the Aboriginals. Marginalisation is a major issue that develops throughout ‘No Sugar’, and Davis successfully brings to life this concerning issue, that still applies today throughout modern society.

Davis uses conventional, colloquial and Nyoongah language to shape the themes of power and cultural identity as well as constructing characters both stereotypical and non-stereotypical. These evoke the audiences’ views of equality and challenge our attitudes when it comes to injustice, violence, racism, identity, dispossession, poverty and ultimately family. Moreover, the inventive use of staging assists the play’s emphasis on promoting the Aboriginals cause for justice and provides Australian Indigenous peoples with a collective voice against the government.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: smile+energy on July 04, 2014, 02:03:44 pm
Thanks so much Lauren
The picture is impressive  :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on July 05, 2014, 10:03:33 pm
Comments are below. In the future, you can post this on the submissions board and just send me a PM if you want my input. I'd rather keep this thread for questions and advice only :)

Spoiler
The stage drama ‘No Sugar’ set in Northam, Western Australia during the Great Depression in 1929-1934 by Jack Davis, presents indigenous issues in a potent mannerphraseology is weird here. 'Potent manner' doesn't really tell us anything; what issues is the author dealing with, and how? by using inventive staging, themes and characterisation. I realise this was part of the task, but avoid listing wherever possible. It stands out as lazy signposting. Davis juxtaposes the verbal language used by Nyoongar-Aboriginal families, commonly referred to as Nyoongah in this theatrical production, You can assume your marker has read the text, don't summarise too much and the European Australians' (plural possessive) colloquial language through conflictual conflicting (both are right but 'conflicting' is the widely accepted form) values of power and cultural identity. ‘No Sugar’ challenges the readers’ values by providing a voice for the Aboriginal people, confronting European Australians with the past, restoring Aboriginal culture and exploring the importance of equality due to the impact of government controls on Australian Indigenous peoples. The issue of power is an indomitable issue which is used as a way to convey its message to the audience. This part reads more like a T.S. for a body paragraph. The sentence before this one was very good; either integrate this line earlier on or just cut it. And try not to repeat a word like 'issue' twice in one sentence when there are plenty of synonyms. Self-editing should pick most of these errors up.
Also, avoid generic phrases like "which is used to convey its message to the audience." Assessors know they're filler, and in the exam you won't have time to pad out an essay because (hopefully) you'll have so much to say and so little time.

The Nyoongah language forms the themes of cultural identity and power to alienate the audience and other characters in the drama to empathise with the Aborigines. “He’s my gnoolya, sir” is an example of Nyoongah language in the play. Sam uses this dialogue in the courtroom scene to answer the Justice of the Peace’s question, however, the Justice of the Peace fails to comprehend Sam’s statement and so too do the audience. This places the audience in a state of temporary confusion until being briefed that “gnoolya” means brother-in-law. The theme of power is manifested as both the reader and other characters do not understand what is taking place. How? This isn't fully explained. This is a reversal of the events the Aborigines had to endure in the sense that when the Europeans colonised Australia, the Aborigines hardly voiced a word of English. Sam later opposes conforming to the Western style of life when he says “Koorawoorung! Noyoohngahs corroboreein’ to a wetjala’s brass band!” The collaboration of “white mans” English and the Aborigines Nyoongah in Sam’s sentence, highlights the theme of cultural identity as the Aborigines have not completely conformed to the western lifestyle, having also kept their cultural heritage. This creates a unique culture of its own towards the audience as the Aborigines have not abandoned their traditional language and culture but have merely incorporated it into the Western style of life.
Aim for greater fluency between paragraphs. At the end, link back to your contention/the prompt, then in the next paragraph start back from the contention and work your way into your next point. eg. ''
Australian’s colloquial language  ??? Australian colloquialisms (?) is used to construct the stereotypes of white Australians and also to help shape the theme of power and influence the Aboriginals way of life. Frank’s “No, there’s about ten other blokes” is quote that reveals an informal, laid-back use of language. The fact that he chose to use the word “bloke” instead of man or male constructs a stereotypical character, as bloke is predominately implemented within Australian society and hence reveals a laid-back type of character. Sergeant Carrol also uses colloquial language when he wants to say something of the record and on an intimate level. As the Sergeant uses phrases such as “next time I’ll nail him” and “The last bloke I nabbed for supplying is doing three months hard labour in Fremantle.” He loses his status of power and brings himself to a common hierarchy instead of one of authority. The fact that he uses this language when he wants to speak on a casual basis implies towards the reader, that the use of colloquial language is used to construct a character of equal power and at an informal level, the traits of a stereotypical Australian. This paragraph probably isn't showcasing your ideas in much detail. It's basically just a long-winded way of saying: 'Certain characters employ trademark Australian colloquialisms like "bloke" and "" ' So what? When you're given these sorts of structural essay questions about the use of >something< within the text, you need to do more than just acknowledge that technique is in the text. How is it used to create meaning? Does this language dichotomise, marginalise, or isolate other characters? What does this mean for the audience? Above all else: have a clear contention in response to the prompt about what theses structural features are doing, then refer back to this idea (implicitly or explicitly) throughout your essay to give you direction.

Auber Octavius Neville is the only character in the play that uses conventional language consistently. His use of conventional language shapes his character and forms the theme of power I think the reason this doesn't work is because you start the sentence talking about the character (HIS use of language) and then zoom out and talk about themes and the text as a whole without much transition. It's good to make these links, but try to link them fluently. “My dear Minister, herewith the information requested” is an example of the formal language he uses and creates a sense of detachment towards the audience, thus discouraging the reader to respond directly to authority. Furthermore, Neville displays an arrogant trait phrasing is a bit pedestrian. Maybe 'his propensity for arrogance...' when he says “the proposed budget cut of three thousand one hundred and thirty-four pounds could be met by discontinuing the supply of meat in native rations”, Davis reflects Neville to be an individual who doesn’t care about the people he is affecting but rather wishes to benefit himself and a minority group. The fact that he possess this type of power, reinforces the audiences’ dislike of him as he is supposed to be the Chief Protector of Aborigines, and yet his ‘noble’ actions further disadvantage them. Davis uses colloquial language to shape authority and identity, as well as constructing unsympathetic characters such as A.O. Neville. Why? How? To what effect? Don't let your assessors ask these questions.

Characters such as Topsy and Billy are representations of those Aborigines who do not fight for their rights. These individuals essentially bow down to white authority, Billy who does not speak Nyoongah but mild English, is content to work for the white authorities tracking down members of his own race who escape their clutches. Milly’s response to the Sergeant when he tells her that her conundrum is she has three grown men budging off her, who are too lazy to work, is by asking him “Where they gonna get work?” she asks the Sergeant “Do you want em to work for nothing?” and Gran backs her up by saying “Their not slaves you know Chargent!” This is all summary and doesn't really lead into your next point at all. The staging is also used as an added technique to provide the Aboriginal people with a voice, against the arrogance and superiority of those in authority, such as Sergeant. Davis utilises Topsy and Billy to confront the audience with characters who prefer to stay within their comfort zone, and not challenge white supremacy. Thus, the audience is disinclined to respond towards the passivity of conscience Billy and Topsy ultimately adopt.

Throughout the play, Aboriginals are marginalised as they are told where to go, what to do and how to go about life. The play was staged on a perambulate model, meaning that the action of the play shifts between many locations. Assume your assessors are relatively intelligent; this is quite a common word in academic circles. There is the town of Northam with the Police Station and two Cells, the Main Street and the Government Well Aboriginal Reserve. Further away, there is the Moor River Native Settlement with the Superintendent’s office, the Millimurra family’s tent and the Aboriginal camp at Long Pool. There is also the Chief Protectors Office and the Western Australian Historical Society in Perth and an area by the railway line. This is not necessary!! Again, this may as well be summary. Your paragraphs seem to have this structure of: 1. Topic sentence that overtly states what you're going to talk about. 2. One or two quotes that often aren't integrated, and 3. Actual analysis and commentary (should be more of this) This allows for Davis’ conception of marginalisation between the audience and the play. This can be perceived as an incumbent motivator for the marginalisation that the Europeans forced upon the Aboriginals. <-- this is all good, try to do more of this and don't let the summary or really long quotes clog up your writing. Marginalisation is a major issue that develops throughout ‘No Sugar’, and Davis successfully brings to life this concerning issue, that still applies today throughout modern society.

Davis uses conventional, colloquial and Nyoongah language to shape the themes of power and cultural identity as well as constructing characters both stereotypical and non-stereotypical. These evoke the audiences’ views of equality and challenge our attitudes when it comes to injustice, violence, racism, identity, dispossession, poverty and ultimately family. Plz don't list. It's lazy, assessors hate it, and you can do better. If you must, at least use the rule of threes; eg. 'when it comes to injustice, identity, and equality.' Sounds much neater than a rambly sentence with 6 or 7 themes, some of which you haven't fully explored. Moreover, the inventive use of staging assists the play’s emphasis on promoting the Aboriginals cause for justice and provides Australian Indigenous peoples with a collective voice against the government.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jono_CP on July 05, 2014, 10:09:53 pm
Comments are below. In the future, you can post this on the submissions board and just send me a PM if you want my input. I'd rather keep this thread for questions and advice only :)

Spoiler
The stage drama ‘No Sugar’ set in Northam, Western Australia during the Great Depression in 1929-1934 by Jack Davis, presents indigenous issues in a potent mannerphraseology is weird here. 'Potent manner' doesn't really tell us anything; what issues is the author dealing with, and how? by using inventive staging, themes and characterisation. I realise this was part of the task, but avoid listing wherever possible. It stands out as lazy signposting. Davis juxtaposes the verbal language used by Nyoongar-Aboriginal families, commonly referred to as Nyoongah in this theatrical production, You can assume your marker has read the text, don't summarise too much and the European Australians' (plural possessive) colloquial language through conflictual conflicting (both are right but 'conflicting' is the widely accepted form) values of power and cultural identity. ‘No Sugar’ challenges the readers’ values by providing a voice for the Aboriginal people, confronting European Australians with the past, restoring Aboriginal culture and exploring the importance of equality due to the impact of government controls on Australian Indigenous peoples. The issue of power is an indomitable issue which is used as a way to convey its message to the audience. This part reads more like a T.S. for a body paragraph. The sentence before this one was very good; either integrate this line earlier on or just cut it. And try not to repeat a word like 'issue' twice in one sentence when there are plenty of synonyms. Self-editing should pick most of these errors up.
Also, avoid generic phrases like "which is used to convey its message to the audience." Assessors know they're filler, and in the exam you won't have time to pad out an essay because (hopefully) you'll have so much to say and so little time.

The Nyoongah language forms the themes of cultural identity and power to alienate the audience and other characters in the drama to empathise with the Aborigines. “He’s my gnoolya, sir” is an example of Nyoongah language in the play. Sam uses this dialogue in the courtroom scene to answer the Justice of the Peace’s question, however, the Justice of the Peace fails to comprehend Sam’s statement and so too do the audience. This places the audience in a state of temporary confusion until being briefed that “gnoolya” means brother-in-law. The theme of power is manifested as both the reader and other characters do not understand what is taking place. How? This isn't fully explained. This is a reversal of the events the Aborigines had to endure in the sense that when the Europeans colonised Australia, the Aborigines hardly voiced a word of English. Sam later opposes conforming to the Western style of life when he says “Koorawoorung! Noyoohngahs corroboreein’ to a wetjala’s brass band!” The collaboration of “white mans” English and the Aborigines Nyoongah in Sam’s sentence, highlights the theme of cultural identity as the Aborigines have not completely conformed to the western lifestyle, having also kept their cultural heritage. This creates a unique culture of its own towards the audience as the Aborigines have not abandoned their traditional language and culture but have merely incorporated it into the Western style of life.
Aim for greater fluency between paragraphs. At the end, link back to your contention/the prompt, then in the next paragraph start back from the contention and work your way into your next point. eg. ''
Australian’s colloquial language  ??? Australian colloquialisms (?) is used to construct the stereotypes of white Australians and also to help shape the theme of power and influence the Aboriginals way of life. Frank’s “No, there’s about ten other blokes” is quote that reveals an informal, laid-back use of language. The fact that he chose to use the word “bloke” instead of man or male constructs a stereotypical character, as bloke is predominately implemented within Australian society and hence reveals a laid-back type of character. Sergeant Carrol also uses colloquial language when he wants to say something of the record and on an intimate level. As the Sergeant uses phrases such as “next time I’ll nail him” and “The last bloke I nabbed for supplying is doing three months hard labour in Fremantle.” He loses his status of power and brings himself to a common hierarchy instead of one of authority. The fact that he uses this language when he wants to speak on a casual basis implies towards the reader, that the use of colloquial language is used to construct a character of equal power and at an informal level, the traits of a stereotypical Australian. This paragraph probably isn't showcasing your ideas in much detail. It's basically just a long-winded way of saying: 'Certain characters employ trademark Australian colloquialisms like "bloke" and "" ' So what? When you're given these sorts of structural essay questions about the use of >something< within the text, you need to do more than just acknowledge that technique is in the text. How is it used to create meaning? Does this language dichotomise, marginalise, or isolate other characters? What does this mean for the audience? Above all else: have a clear contention in response to the prompt about what theses structural features are doing, then refer back to this idea (implicitly or explicitly) throughout your essay to give you direction.

Auber Octavius Neville is the only character in the play that uses conventional language consistently. His use of conventional language shapes his character and forms the theme of power I think the reason this doesn't work is because you start the sentence talking about the character (HIS use of language) and then zoom out and talk about themes and the text as a whole without much transition. It's good to make these links, but try to link them fluently. “My dear Minister, herewith the information requested” is an example of the formal language he uses and creates a sense of detachment towards the audience, thus discouraging the reader to respond directly to authority. Furthermore, Neville displays an arrogant trait phrasing is a bit pedestrian. Maybe 'his propensity for arrogance...' when he says “the proposed budget cut of three thousand one hundred and thirty-four pounds could be met by discontinuing the supply of meat in native rations”, Davis reflects Neville to be an individual who doesn’t care about the people he is affecting but rather wishes to benefit himself and a minority group. The fact that he possess this type of power, reinforces the audiences’ dislike of him as he is supposed to be the Chief Protector of Aborigines, and yet his ‘noble’ actions further disadvantage them. Davis uses colloquial language to shape authority and identity, as well as constructing unsympathetic characters such as A.O. Neville. Why? How? To what effect? Don't let your assessors ask these questions.

Characters such as Topsy and Billy are representations of those Aborigines who do not fight for their rights. These individuals essentially bow down to white authority, Billy who does not speak Nyoongah but mild English, is content to work for the white authorities tracking down members of his own race who escape their clutches. Milly’s response to the Sergeant when he tells her that her conundrum is she has three grown men budging off her, who are too lazy to work, is by asking him “Where they gonna get work?” she asks the Sergeant “Do you want em to work for nothing?” and Gran backs her up by saying “Their not slaves you know Chargent!” This is all summary and doesn't really lead into your next point at all. The staging is also used as an added technique to provide the Aboriginal people with a voice, against the arrogance and superiority of those in authority, such as Sergeant. Davis utilises Topsy and Billy to confront the audience with characters who prefer to stay within their comfort zone, and not challenge white supremacy. Thus, the audience is disinclined to respond towards the passivity of conscience Billy and Topsy ultimately adopt.

Throughout the play, Aboriginals are marginalised as they are told where to go, what to do and how to go about life. The play was staged on a perambulate model, meaning that the action of the play shifts between many locations. Assume your assessors are relatively intelligent; this is quite a common word in academic circles. There is the town of Northam with the Police Station and two Cells, the Main Street and the Government Well Aboriginal Reserve. Further away, there is the Moor River Native Settlement with the Superintendent’s office, the Millimurra family’s tent and the Aboriginal camp at Long Pool. There is also the Chief Protectors Office and the Western Australian Historical Society in Perth and an area by the railway line. This is not necessary!! Again, this may as well be summary. Your paragraphs seem to have this structure of: 1. Topic sentence that overtly states what you're going to talk about. 2. One or two quotes that often aren't integrated, and 3. Actual analysis and commentary (should be more of this) This allows for Davis’ conception of marginalisation between the audience and the play. This can be perceived as an incumbent motivator for the marginalisation that the Europeans forced upon the Aboriginals. <-- this is all good, try to do more of this and don't let the summary or really long quotes clog up your writing. Marginalisation is a major issue that develops throughout ‘No Sugar’, and Davis successfully brings to life this concerning issue, that still applies today throughout modern society.

Davis uses conventional, colloquial and Nyoongah language to shape the themes of power and cultural identity as well as constructing characters both stereotypical and non-stereotypical. These evoke the audiences’ views of equality and challenge our attitudes when it comes to injustice, violence, racism, identity, dispossession, poverty and ultimately family. Plz don't list. It's lazy, assessors hate it, and you can do better. If you must, at least use the rule of threes; eg. 'when it comes to injustice, identity, and equality.' Sounds much neater than a rambly sentence with 6 or 7 themes, some of which you haven't fully explored. Moreover, the inventive use of staging assists the play’s emphasis on promoting the Aboriginals cause for justice and provides Australian Indigenous peoples with a collective voice against the government.

Thanks Lauren for the invaluable feedback on my woeful vocabulary and general structure tips for the essay.

Indeed, in future I will either PM you or send this onto the submissions page (thanks for excusing me).

Indeed, I have to learn to be succinct and not ramble on with a summary but an actual essay. 
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: geminii on July 05, 2014, 10:47:22 pm
Hi Lauren!
Congratulations on your amazing score!! Do you have any tips for a year 9 starting VCE next year?  :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on July 07, 2014, 09:37:39 am
I'll refer you back to a previous page on this thread: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)

If you have any English specific queries let me know, but since the whole system (including the study designs) are likely to change before you get to year 12, there's not much point in learning specifics just yet. Concentrate on your weaknesses, whatever they may be.
Best of luck :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: scandin9 on July 07, 2014, 06:29:19 pm
Hi Lauren,
Does imaginative writing have to show and not tell? Is their an issue if creative writing refrains from vivid descriptions?
Thanks in Advance!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Rod on July 07, 2014, 08:04:44 pm
Hi Lauren, can you please explain what school vouchers in America are? And why they can be used to promote creationism?

Thanks :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jono_CP on July 08, 2014, 12:33:43 am
Is anyone going to bring in a dictionary for the English exam? Is it compulsory to bring in a dictionary?

Honestly find this pointless, but could be a personal thing.

E.g. time-wasting and causes unnecessary stress and takes up room on the desk to disrupt writing patterns.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on July 08, 2014, 10:02:23 am
Is anyone going to bring in a dictionary for the English exam? Is it compulsory to bring in a dictionary?

Honestly find this pointless, but could be a personal thing.

E.g. time-wasting and causes unnecessary stress and takes up room on the desk to disrupt writing patterns.
It is not compulsory. You'd be silly not to take one. Too bad if all four of your text response prompts had a word in it you didn't know lol. Or if the context prompt had just one word you'd never seen before.  Don't use it, it's a waste of time, but if a word is crucial and you don't know it then it's the best use of time you'll ever get in your life.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jono_CP on July 09, 2014, 01:09:25 am
It is not compulsory. You'd be silly not to take one. Too bad if all four of your text response prompts had a word in it you didn't know lol. Or if the context prompt had just one word you'd never seen before.  Don't use it, it's a waste of time, but if a word is crucial and you don't know it then it's the best use of time you'll ever get in your life.

Yes that is indeed true, I have changed my decision-making!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: RazzMeTazz on July 09, 2014, 08:19:55 pm
What defines a creative context piece of writing?

Do all creative context pieces of writing have to be descriptive?

Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Bob1001 on July 11, 2014, 01:32:29 am
Hey lauren
Just wondering what your approach to king henry iv was from start to end? And do you recommend looking into the context of the play?
Thanks
Big fan
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on July 11, 2014, 09:14:55 am
scandin 9:
Show don't tell is a good rule for good writing, but that's only part of what the assessors will be looking for. Don't compromise clarity for the sake of the story or to show off your writing ability. This isn't a creative piece of writing, it's a response to the prompt that uses the text and external evidence in creative manner. If you aren't responding honestly, clearly, and in a sophisticated way, then you won't score well no matter how well you write.
Show don't tell basically translates to 'don't make things painfully obvious' in my mind. So if you're writing an id&b piece about the difficulties of belonging, don't just write: Sharon found it difficult to belong. This is the same for expository pieces; simply writing Some people find it difficult to belong and not developing anything further or explaining why does not constitute a valid idea or argument.
On the other hand, you don't want to write a 1000+ word look into the mind of Sharon in order to communicate the fact that she doesn't belong. What doesn't she belong to? How long have things been this way? Why is this the case? What has she done to change this? What effect has this had? What can we learn from this?
If your assessors can ask these questions and not get an answer from your piece, then go back and try to fill in the gaps. It's okay to leave things open for discussion or interpretation, but the subject matter has to justify it.


Rod:
My understanding (based on google/wikipedia entries) is that it functions much like a scholarship program except it's the government that's funding your education, not a school. (Most scholarships are "in-house," ie. the school pays your tuition fees for a year or something.) This seems more like the government nominates a private school (some of which teach creationism) and then students can choose to study there, though I imagine there's some selection process. Thus the taxpayers who give their money to the government are inadvertently funding creationism. So whilst the government aren't promoting anything explicitly, by selecting certain schools many people have taken this as a covert attempt to endorse creationist views, or at least expose young children to them.
Heaps of news articles on this if you need :)


Enigma:
Yep, Brenden said it all. In my exam I didn't see a single person go for their dictionaries, but we all had one. You never know what VCAA might throw at you, and something 'taking up room on your desk' will be the least of your concerns. I'm pretty sure you can just put it on the floor (?) unless that counts as cheating...? Idk, bring one in anyway, the benefits outweigh the risks :)


RazzMeTazz:
I wouldn't worry too much about the descriptors since you can blur the lines a bit with hybrid pieces, but creative piece is basically VCAA's term for 'anything that isn't expository or persuasive.' It might be a straight up short story, you might interweave different people's accounts, or you might write a reflection of sorts, but in someone else's voice. It can depend on the format too, whether you wanted to write a newspaper article, feature piece or interview (though this might border on expository/persuasive depending on your strengths.)
What do you mean by descriptive, exactly? They don't all have to be lengthy novellas that go into excessive detail about the colour of the carpet or anything, but you don't want to make it too simplistic either. Refer to the above advice for scandin 9 that should help clear things up.


Bob1001:
Start: I read the play over the summer, then read some sparknotes/shmoop notes (which are good for starters but ultimately insufficient for an end of year standard) I knew I wasn't studying it until mid-Term 3 though, so I pretty much just left it after that. In hindsight I probably could have read it once more then, but seeing as we went through most scenes in class that might not have been necessary. That said, we did have to do a pre-reading test so our teacher could catch out anyone who clearly hadn't read the play :) Shortly before we started studying it (might have been the holidays..?) I went through and annotated what I could. This was mostly based on other notes and sources; I'd then add my own notes as we were going through scene-by-scene. We didn't have much of a window between finishing the text and writing practice essays, so towards the end of Act 4 I had chosen some prompts I thought would challenge me, and from then on it was pretty much a combination of practice essays and consulting notes till I could recite them.
End: rereading practice essays just before the exam is incredibly valuable, but I'll be writing more on SWOT-VAC/last minute preparation closer to Term 4. Suffice it to say that by October there were scenes I knew from memory, I had tried and tested ideas about characters' motivations and what they represented on a larger scale, and I'd covered as much ground as I could in terms of prompt difficulty.
As it turns out, the prompts still sort of surprised me, but it was all very manageable once I got writing.

Re: context, YES!!! This can probably come into your initial research, though I'm sure your teacher will take you through the basics in class. And I'm including all manner of 'contexts': Shakespeare's life and times, audience responses (esp. Queen Liz I and her massive crush on Falstaff ;D) the rest of the tetralogy, the origins of the Machiavel and Realpolitik, and even the performativity of it. I'd highly recommend the Hollow Crown series as it takes you through the other 3 plays in the series. The version that was performed at The Globe a few years ago is even better, but I can't find a copy online so perhaps your school can provide you with one.
In the end you might not use half of this knowledge, but it will be at your disposal, and will inform your writing overall as well. Since Henry has such high averages, this sort of contextualisation should help you stand out from the rest :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Smiley_ on July 11, 2014, 10:30:50 am
^
Wow! You're amazing!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: walkec on July 11, 2014, 11:55:31 am
Hi Lauren,

I was just wondering how you went about choosing what text to prepare for for the text response part of the exam. I have already done Stasiland and my last SAC for the year is on The Reluctant Fundamentalist. I really like Stasiland, but I'm thinking Reluctant might be easier to prepare for given it's the last SAC for me and there's more study guides and notes available? Thoughts?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Rishi97 on July 13, 2014, 10:26:27 am
Hi Lauren

Just wondering, how often did you write practise essays throughout the year?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Valyria on July 13, 2014, 10:40:05 am
Hey Lauren,

So I recently incorporated "Plato's Allegory of the Cave" as supplementary evidence for my Whose Reality expository piece and my teacher said it was too complicated. As she has been an examiner in the past, she knows that many examiners speed read and won't comprehend dense philosophical extracts to its entirety and will be left confused and slightly irritated, which seems logical. As a student, how would I know when my supplementary evidence is too convoluted? If I try to tease out the concepts further to ensure the link to my context could be understood, my supplementary takes up 3/5ths of the page which is quite excessive. How have you confronted this problem in the past?

Thanks :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on July 13, 2014, 03:29:13 pm
walkec:
I had quite an easy choice actually. We had a novel that I kind of liked, and a Shakespeare play, so the English nerd in me was pretty much set on Shakespeare from the summer holidays. The fact that we did the play right before the exam did help, but I knew people who wrote on the novel from Term 2 as well. The biggest determining factor will be what you find easiest to write on; don't just judge by your marks either, it's probably a good idea to wait till you start studying TFR to make your final decision.
IMO Stasiland hasn't had a good history with English prompts, but I'm sure if you prepare enough you'd be able to handle anything. TRF will usually have at least one prompt dealing with the structural elements of the text (eg. Changez's language, the narrative voice, role of The American etc.) which might be a bit trickier, but again if you're prepared for anything then they can't surprise you too much.
Either way, this upcoming Text Response SAC will be worth half of your Unit 4 Outcome, so you'll be putting a lot of effort into TRF regardless :)

Rishi97:
I sort of went with the ebb and flow; sometimes I'd have a bunch of SACs for other subjects and could afford to let English fall by the wayside, but during the quiet weeks I'd write when possible. For most of the year I probably averaged one essay per week, but after the Term 3 holidays in September I was putting a lot more work in.
That said, I was still studying for English even when I wasn't writing essays. Reading and compiling my own notes, going through other people's essays, and reading as much as I could find on my texts all helped immensely. For some people, essay writing is and essential part of the study process whereas others treat it like a final product and do a lot of little things beforehand. It really is up to you, just know that churning out an essay isn't the only way to improve.

Valyria:
I'd have to disagree with your teacher there. Some assessors may try and speed read, but if they don't understand your writing because they're going too quickly, that's their prerogative, not yours. Obviously without having read your piece I can't comment on specifics, but perhaps the way you explained things wasn't clear enough? If the links to your discussion and the prompt weren't overt then maybe the whole idea got lost; expository pieces tend to need a 50:50 ratio of evidence to general discussion.
It probably didn't help that Plato's theories are quite dense, so maybe starting with some more basic  evidence that's close to the text and easy to integrate could improve clarity.
tbh at the end of the year I highly doubt assessors will mark you down just because they can't read your piece in under 90 seconds or anything. Plenty of people I know have had messy handwriting or corrections all over their work that made it difficult to follow, but they still scored well.
Remember, you don't have to give a comprehensive analysis of Plato's Allegory, nor do you have to explain it in its entirety. It can just be a tangential reference that you're linking to something more accessible, for instance:
Our manifold realities can sometimes be restricted by forces beyond our control. The idea of such limitations on human potential and the desire to test these boundaries can be seen throughout the ages, even as early as Ancient Greece in one of Plato's most famous works, The Allegory of The Cave. In this, Plato uses the metaphor of a man emerging from a cave after years of imprisonment, casting off the oppressive shackles and stumbling towards the outside world as a literal and metaphorical Enlightenment. This can be seen in our own society today, albeit on a more figurative level, in the form of humanitarian issues, particularly surrounding the treatment of Asylum Seekers in Australia. The broadcasting of shows like 'Go Back To Where You Came From' exposes the realities of the refugee experience with such harsh honesty that even those of radically right wing beliefs were forced to confront their own prejudices. Thus, the role of one's environment and culture can impede on, or even drastically alter our preconceived realities.
You could probably go into more detail than that, (these two brief mentions aren't really enough to draw substantial conclusions from) but you get the idea. So long as you're not moving away from your ideas and getting too far into your examples you should be fine.
BUT... for the sake of your SAC, appease your teacher's whims. If she wants more accessible and generalized examples then that's what you should be going for :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: archenemy on July 13, 2014, 11:26:17 pm
hi Lauren,

this thread's been incredibly helpful and insightful xD I've been trying to do a couple of Language Analysis pieces (because I find that I'm pretty weak in this area) and I'm finding that I run out of time very quickly (when under time constraints. Like I've only done 1/3 of my whole essay...) or I get halfway through analysis and realise I've almost written 800 words o.O (and then I cbs the rest of the article because I feel like 'ergh, more to do')

I think I'm a little bit 'picky' and try to cover every little point and I get bogged down in analysing minute details (trust me, I can write like 4-5 sentences on like one small point). My teacher says that I should try to look at the overall picture more, which I obviously agree. I'm just not sure how to go about doing this... just say I divide the article into 3 sections, should I limit myself to analysing just say a maximum of 3 (main) points per 'section'? Should I write more under time constraints to force myself to write less? or do you have a better approach/advice on how to stop being so err bogged down.

thanks x
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on July 14, 2014, 10:47:06 am
I'm assuming we're talking about VCAA style pieces and not the sort of thing you'd get for a SAC, ie. one core piece and a couple of visuals/comments as opposed to three articles + visuals? Since there's only one L.A. SAC for this year, there's no reason to be covering the latter anyway.
It can be tricky sometimes to strike a balance between breadth and depth. First of all, I'd say if going into detail is your strength, then don't be afraid to write more on the exam (if you're a fast writer, that is) But I can see how this could become a problem; VCAA is marking you on what you chose to discuss as well as how you're discussing it. The selection isn't as important as the analysis, but a student who has isolated the core of the article and dealt with key ideas is going to score better than someone who's highlighting every little thing he comes across.
A couple of things you can do at this stage:
Here's one I prepared earlier:
For example:
The author's vitriolic (tone) attack (1) on the government as evidenced by the epithet "stupid ugly nazis" seeks to denigrate all politicians. Such loaded language elicits strong hatred from his readers (2), particularly given the sensitive nature of the issue (obviously you'd be more specific here). Consequently, -author-'s audience are more likely to reject the government's proposal (3) as "cruel and unfair," thus supporting his contention that we should kill them all etc. etc.
^That's quite a long-winded one, you could do all three in a single sentence:
Likewise the inclusive language in the title "Our Country, Our Rules" inspires a collective, patriotic sense of responsibility, inciting readers to share in the author's view that New Zealanders are evil...

I should probably start using real articles instead of making up psychopathic examples, huh?

Depending on how broad your starting point is (eg. something as big as an appeal to unity, or as specific as a single rhetorical question) you could fit 3 or four of these into an average paragraph.
You may be able to write more, but this is all the criteria is asking for; if you can fulfill this basic pattern (and not make it too derivative or repetitive) then you should be able to write with a more clear focus.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on July 14, 2014, 10:54:30 am
~~upvote her if you find her helpful, people~~
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: scandin9 on July 14, 2014, 09:25:32 pm
Hi Lauren,
What were the primary differences between Jacobean and Elizabethan England?More specifically,how can one utilise such difference in zeitgeists in a text response?
 
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: smile+energy on July 15, 2014, 07:28:18 pm
Hi, Lauren

I can't distinguish between values and views/attitudes in T.R.
Could you please help me to distinguish them?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Rishi97 on July 15, 2014, 09:37:40 pm
Hello Lauren :)

In my creative piece as you said, I am trying to add more description. I'm trying to describe the injured citizens after an explosion but am having a lot of trouble. Here is what I have so far:

I sprinted down the street jumping over the injured people sprawled across the floor. There were men and women of all ages gasping their last breaths whilst being covered in blood. The dead bodies were covered in rubble and stone with either a leg missing or an arm. “A woman sat on the ground with what was left of her baby in her lap; with a kind of modesty she had covered it with her straw peasant hat.” I struggled through the mass of bodies stepping around the puddles of blood and over the remaining limbs trying to find Phuong

Could you (or anybody else) please help me write this in a more detailed yet sophisticated manner? I'm new at writing creatively so any help would be much appreciated :)
THANK YOU!!!! :) :) :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: archenemy on July 16, 2014, 12:37:02 am
Not sure what the context of this is but I'll give it a shot. I just followed your paragraph and added stuff in. BTW I'm sure other people can write stuff much better than this xD :P (might be some typos :) It's very trippy trying to correct using this html code haha)

Quote
Clouds of dust particles hung suspended in the air, and with every breath I drew into my lungs it only grew harder and harder to breathe. But I still needed to move. My leg muscles burned with the exertion as I sprinted down the street jumping over the injured people sprawled across the floor. With the last of their dying strength, bodies of men and women of all ages gasping their last breaths whilst being covered in blood. lay clutching at the thin air, as if they were reaching out...hoping. Hoping that God or some other higher agent would grant them mercy; grant them an extra breath. They were writhing in pain. Blood on their clothes, blood trickling down down down...and faces contorted with expressions so grotesque that I had to look away.  The Dead bodies, or what remained of them, were buried under rubble and stone with either a leg missing or an armThey were missing arms, missing legs and missing heads.. A woman sat on the ground with what was left of her baby in her lap; with a kind of modesty she had covered it with her straw peasant hat. I struggled through the mass of bodiescorpses, stepping around the puddles pools of blood, and over the remaining limbs that had been haphazardly thrown together, all the while trying to find Phuong
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jono_CP on July 16, 2014, 10:35:21 am
Hi Lauren,

I am seeking advice on the technicalities of this essay question on the text No Sugar which is: "There are characters with redeeming and despicable qualities on both sides of the racial divide. Discuss."

Our teacher always wants us to highlight the key words of the question. For me I identity them to be: characters, redeeming, despicable and racial divide.

In this sense with a discuss question, in an English sense (because I know that it varies from subject to subject) how does one approach this? Can you agree or disagree? Do you have to abide with the prompt?

Also, when you are writing an essay is it all intuitive and 'natural feel' per say? Or is a plan definitely in order or even rote-learning some concepts from previous essays? Sometimes I might be writing on a topic I am confident with, but then have doubts about how to express myself and have momentary pauses throughout an essay, at times even over 3 minutes. I am also scared of writing about concepts which I have not addressed in practice essays...
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on July 16, 2014, 05:37:58 pm
scandin9:
Not sure why this is important since there's only one Elizabethan text on the English lists, but:
Elizabethan: when Queen Liz I was on the throne (1558-1603)
Jacobean: King James' reign (1603-1625)
The Elizabethan Era was arguably more prosperous, and because it ended with a war, this left King James with a massive debt, exacerbated by the bubonic plague circa 1620. This wasn't really reflected in literature too much, as Shakespeare wrote some of his best plays in Jacobean times (most notably Macbeth, the plot of which had strong ties to the current political circumstances of the day.) There were many artists who were overlooked however, as the dire economic straights made it difficult to establish oneself.
I would argue that this climate led to a fascination with the psyche, especially abnormal conditions. Robert Burton's Anatomy of Melancholy was one of the most influential in this regard. You can see this in some of Shakespeare's later plays too, The Tempest and Antony and Cleopatra which are both on the Lit. syllabus have subplots or at least motifs concerning 'The Other' and the whims of emotion. But I digress- the biggest difference between the two was that one had Queen Elizabeth the other had King James; they're not vastly distinctive eras. Ultimately Elizabeth is remembered a tad more fondly, but the general consensus was that James did the best he could with the hand he was dealt.
I'm sure there are other websites who could read a lot more into the zeitgeist so try googling it?

smile+energy:
Do you need help understanding the views in your text? Cause I'll need to know what you're studying if that's the case. But in terms of the difference between views and values, I think it's kind of arbitrary. I suppose 'views' could refer more to political inclinations or whether the author subscribed to a certain school of thought (eg. Marxism, Feminism etc.) whereas 'values' are more like core beliefs about what is important in life, in relationships, in literature etc. If an author has a certain view then I would associate that with his/her mindset and conscious outlook, but values are more internal and emotionally-driven.
From an English perspective, these two words mean basically the same thing; it's a way to encourage you to talk about more than just the text.

Rishi97:
archenemy's version is  much improved, but remember, this description must have a purpose. This is where the creative style becomes really tricky. 'Show, don't tell' is a good rule to help you write well, particularly when describing emotions. It's a lot more effective to say 'his eyes darted frantically, his knuckles burning white' than just 'he was really tense.' And it can be excellent for setting the scene too; lines like "Clouds of dust particles hung suspended in the air, and with every breath I drew into my lungs it only grew harder and harder to breathe" establish a sense of suffocation and struggle. But while this sentence/paragraph will contribute to your overall mark for writing style, you aren't getting much for the content. Yes, it's written well and the language is good, but you have to have the ideas to back it up, and they have to come across clearly. So don't feel you have to get wrapped up in 'purple prose' or really flowery language. This was why I recommended starting with mindmaps or prompt breakdowns to ensure the core of your piece is sophisticated enough to justify later developments.
If you're committed to writing creatively, then I'd say have something in every line, or at least every second line that could give you credit. For instance, the woman who covers her baby with a straw hat - this is great because it says something about the human spirit in times of turmoil. You don't have to unpack everything, but ensure there are enough instances of implicit commentary (passing references to other characters, setting the scene) and explicit references (protagonist's psyche, course of events) to maximise your mark.
Those who do well at the end of the year writing proper creative short stories are usually the ones who can look at things in a different light. If a bomb goes off in your story, what will you focus on? A good rule of thumb is to consider the other senses; don't write about how you saw the rubble, talk about hearing a city crumble around you. Don't write about seeing dead bodies, write about how the stench of death burns your tongue as though you are tasting suffering like it's a corrosive acid. This instantly becomes more descriptive, though as I said, the content is very much up to you :)

Enigma:
Here is a blog post I wrote about responding to prompts, consult that for the basics.
With regards to underlining key terms, it's definitely an effective way of ensuring you address all aspects of the prompt, (assuming you're actually doing something with the words you've underlined) but don't forget to look at the implications as well.
"There are characters with redeeming and despicable qualities on both sides of the racial divide. Discuss."
The implication here is that one's qualities cannot categorically determine values when it comes to race, and that subscribing to a belief does not preclude one from having either good or bad traits.
The danger with the 'key word' method is that it tends to oversimplify things. A lower-middle band response might look at this, take the same words you've taken, and write one paragraph on all the redeeming features in the text, one on despicable features, and then one on the racial divide and who's on what side, without ever taking into account how these elements work together. This is where having mini-contentions for each paragraph can really be helpful, so you're not just writing a paragraph on 'redeeming features,' you're writing one on 'why redeeming features aren't necessarily cardinal traits and how racial prejudices do not, in isolation, make a character irredeemable.' (none of this is text-specific so don't take these as perfect examples)
With regards to your other questions, yes of course you can agree or disagree with the prompt. The terminology of 'Discuss' or 'Do you agree' is irrelevant; every essay you write will be a discussion about whether or not you agree with the prompt.
Some people use plans and stick to them, some write with no stimuli other than the prompt. Find wherever you are on this spectrum.
Ultimately there will be concepts you're quite familiar with, but rote-learning is a waste of time. You never know what the prompt might be, and you'll always score better if you write something shaky but relevant, than if you write a solid piece with no relevance to the topic.
Every essay you write this year will be a practice essay, except for your exam. Therefore, you have little to lose by trying new things. Those "momentary pauses" might be gaps in knowledge (in which case you'll have to revisit the content) or it might be to do with your expression. See how you go just forcing yourself to write under time. If you pause for longer than 30 seconds, change the sentence and try again. You can also refine your pieces too, don't forget. Feedback from your teacher can be valuable here, that way you're building on your skills and not making the same mistakes.
I am also scared of writing about concepts which I have not addressed in practice essays...
Why? Your teacher is hardly going to judge you for an error in interpretation or expression. I've read a GAT essay in response to an infographic about diamond mining that simply said: 'Diamonds are something I buy for ma bitchez.' I guarantee whatever you've got to say can't possibly be that stupid.
The whole point of practice essays is to try out new concepts. Write heaps of 'formative' essays where you're trialling new things and developing your skills, then test yourself with 'summative pieces' that just deal with whatever you know at that moment. But don't be too concerned if not everything you write is your best work ever; it's all about the process.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Rishi97 on July 16, 2014, 05:40:38 pm
Thanks sooo much Lauren :)
You are such a great person helping those in need !!!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jono_CP on July 16, 2014, 08:42:12 pm
Thanks sooo much Lauren :)
You are such a great person helping those in need !!!

I concur, thank you much appreciated :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: smile+energy on July 17, 2014, 08:24:34 am

it's a way to encourage you to talk about more than just the text.


Thanks for your help, Lauren
i am studying Stasiland.
And i don't really understand the sentence you said above.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on July 17, 2014, 04:19:02 pm
Unlike a language analysis where you're just dealing with the material in front of you, a Text Response can integrate the author's background, the socio-historical context, or the audience's interpretation, (not as much as Context, and you shouldn't get too far away from.the set text, but views and values statements are still very important.)
For instance, the sentence: Harry goes through the emotional trauma of losing many of his loved ones, but continues to fight for the cause he believes in.
isn't as effective as:
Rowling subjects Harry to much emotional turbulence in order to demonstrate his capacity to persevere through "even the darkest of times."

Not every sentence has to be like this, but using the author's name here and there ensures you're looking at the text as a construct (search 'construct' in this topic if you need further clarification)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on July 17, 2014, 04:43:21 pm
By the way guys, there's a text response essay that scored 20/20 up on vTextbook with commentary by a Premier's winner.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: smile+energy on July 19, 2014, 11:53:52 am
Yap, thanks Lauren :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jono_CP on July 20, 2014, 08:21:43 pm
Anyone know the difference between their, they're and there?

I use these frequently throughout my writing pieces and have no idea which type I should implement throughout my essay.

I have even observed Google and still fail to comprehend the technicalities!

Help would be much appreciated :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on July 20, 2014, 08:32:45 pm
They're is a contraction of they are.

There is referring to a place, the same as "here", except there is the opposite of here, so you put a t at the start.

Their is referring to someone else's possession, as in "heir" to the throne gets the throne when their relatives die, so it's their throne.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jono_CP on July 20, 2014, 08:44:25 pm
They're is a contraction of they are.

There is referring to a place, the same as "here", except there is the opposite of here, so you put a t at the start.

Their is referring to someone else's possession, as in "heir" to the throne gets the throne when their relatives die, so it's their throne.

Oh!!! Makes sense, thank you very much!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jason12 on July 21, 2014, 11:58:42 pm
for language analysis do you recommend a random method (chronological) or more organised method (i.e. grouping by similar techniques or techniques that assist with one part of the writer's argument)

Also for context, is it better that the external example be related to the text? i.e. we are doing mind of a thief which is about aboriginals so should the external evidence be from another book/film/article/etc.  about aboriginals?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on July 22, 2014, 12:15:48 am
First page of this thread, the L.A. guide contains my recommended method, or search 'key players' and there should be a more detailed explanation.
Apologies if most of my responses involve referring people back to old posts, but often these questions have been answered in full more than once. I'll probably collate this thread properly and create some sort of index, (time permitting) since I can understand not wanting to wade through 20+ pages yourself.

With regards to Context, yes your examples will relate to the text, but it doesn't have to be so direct. It's the ideas that have to be relevant. So, Mind of a Thief --> Indigenous Oppression in Australia --> Rudd's Apology for the Stolen Generation --> Have things changed since? --> Wider racial intolerance and cultural oppression within Australian society --> this racist lady on a train and other similar incidents --> the psychology of race, Us vs. The Other --> History of race and categorisation --> phrenology (examining the physical shape of the brain) as a method of segregating and dehumanising (ie. African Americans have different shaped heads and are "therefore" further behind white/Anglosaxon culture)

So theoretically, I could talk about the role of phrenology and other pseudoscience in your context piece, because I've linked my ideas. I couldn't just jump into the discussion right away or try to justify it later; weave in and out of the text and your examples, drawing conclusions as you go.


edit: just realised that took me 10-15 minutes to get to that point, including all the other stuff I was typing, finding links etc. Even though this is a text I've never studied and the external evidence isn't stuff I've used before, the connections really are that simple, and ideally you'll get to the point where linking becomes as simple as scouring your mind for potential essay fodder.
No pressure if you're not there yet; god knows I certainly wasn't this time last year. But this is just another nail in the coffin for the essay-memorising-brigade. It's far more beneficial (and deceptively simple) to engage with the prompt and respond honestly, having acquired all this knowledge throughout the year than to simple regurgitate something that may have little to no relevance.
/rant :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: 90ATAR on July 24, 2014, 07:30:25 pm
Hi Lauren,

How do you dissect prompts for Whose Reality, and how do you relate your text to it? My first whose reality SAC I just wrote a story because I was clueless and received 50% so I'm wanting to dig myself out of this hole.

e.g. A prompt that I could receive (there are six) on Friday week could be ‘‘Representations of past reality tell us more about how we wish to be seen than about what actually happened’’ and my text is Death of a Salesman. How should I go about dissecting this, let alone the other five?

I would probably do this for the following paragraphs, but I'm probably wrong;

1: I'd probably write one paragraph on the influence of hollywood.
2: One paragraph on existentialism

and now I'm lost
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on July 24, 2014, 08:42:26 pm
One of the most unhelpful things you can do in a context piece is to go into each paragraph with the mindset of: 'I'm going to write about Hollywood.'
Context is about ideas! The examples are helpful supporting evidence, but they are no substitute for ideas. Rather, a better approach might be: 'I'm going to write about how representations of the past can be constructed, misconstrued, or rewritten, and thus our present realities are a product with our interference with and interpretation of what actually happened.' Then you would link your ideas (as demonstrated in the above comment) in order to guide your discussion towards the Hollywood film industry and the ways in which "historically based" filmms tend to gloss over any wrongdoings on the heroes' side whilst making the opposition out to be pantomime villains. ie. instead of portraying a complex event from a multitude of angles, the story is reduced to 'goodies vs. baddies.'
(Apologies if this wasn't what you were going for, but this was the direction I took it in)

I'm not saying you shouldn't have some idea of what examples you can use (that's what all the practice essays are for) but you have to have a clear and concise contention as well, otherwise your piece will really lack focus.

With regards to dissecting the prompt, same advice as always: QUESTION EVERYTHING!
The ol' who-what-when-where-why from bygone primary school days actually has some bearing here, as it forces you to look at things from different angles. On a basic level:
but hopefully this can lead you onto bigger and more sophisticated questions:

This might seem daunting, but start with the who-what-when-why-how if you need. Once you get yourself into a questioning mood, you'll probably find more sophisticated questions coming to you naturally, then you can ditch the framework and use whatever planning method you need.

And as usual, if you're stuck for examples, click the link in my sig and see if you can find an area of interest, or use one of these to spur you onto another.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: 24bauer12 on July 24, 2014, 08:46:33 pm
Hi Lauren,
When conducting language analysis and examining the effect on the reader would it be superior to refer to the effect on the reader or the potential effect?For example would 1 or 2 be better
1.Thus, eliciting contempt and strong denunciation on the readers' behalf.
2.This may elicit contempt and strong denunciation on the readers' behalf.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on July 24, 2014, 08:55:15 pm
My instinct is to say #1 even though it's a fragmented sentence :p
Be careful not to be too rigidly diagnostic though, so if you're ever unsure, or are commenting on the wide array of effects a technique can have, it might be wise to insert a little clause like 'maybe' or 'perhaps.'
On the other hand you don't want to sound like you're too apprehensive to commit to your analysis, so sometimes stronger assertions are better.
#1 definitely sounds like a standard L.A. excerpt; if your conclusion is sound and you're not just jumping from "the writer says __, thus eliciting contempt from readers" ie. you actually link your ideas and explain the effect rather than simply state it, then it's okay to be definitive.  In general I'd say stick to your instincts and be definitive wherever possible; hopefully that will also lend itself to you substantiating your analysis throughout :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jono_CP on July 25, 2014, 10:38:38 pm
Hey Lauren,

I was wondering whether you could potentially PM me your email (e.g. gmail, yahoo or whatever). I have taken photos of a particular text response of mine and have found your feedback to be invaluable and would love to acquire this again if possible.

I ask this, as I cannot upload 6 pages of my handwritten text response essay via ATARNotes, as this exceeds the quota size of a message.

I understand if you are unwilling to abide, I bear no umbrage.

Thank you :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: archenemy on July 26, 2014, 04:52:19 pm
Hi Lauren,

I was wondering if you could give me a quick run down on what exactly I need to write the body paragraphs of a text response piece? I know the general TEEL structure but....

I was also wondering if you know how much quoting must be done to substantiate arguments/points you bring up in the body para. My teacher says I'm not specific enough... :P

thanks :)
(sorry if this question is a bit broad...)   
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: ~V on July 27, 2014, 05:12:22 pm
Hi Lauren,
is a blog post a good style to write an encountering conflict context piece? Also, do i express my opinion on things and make it kinda like an article??
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: tcapote on July 28, 2014, 11:47:11 pm
Hi Lauren,
Prior to my subject selection for year 12, i'm considering on picking up Lit. Though i love reading and find the subject interesting through friends, I'm going to be doing lit 3&4 without having done 1&2. I'm fairly strong in English (A - A+) however, i don't want to be picking up a subject that i'll struggle with during the year (since i'm unaware of the style of writing / topics)

With that in mind, can you please give me a few pointers on the subject itself? The difficulties, and comparison between that and english? And how you managed to do so well? :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on July 29, 2014, 11:01:41 pm
archenemy:

There's no set structure for a body paragraph beyond the very basic TEEL framework, but you should be going further than that anyway. It depends on your text; sometimes Views and Values statements can be good in your T.S. or concluding link, or the prompt might lend itself better to discussions about various characters and themes. I don't really want to prescribe a format since there's dozens of different ways to do it right. Basically this is one of those things where you shouldn't try to radically change your style, just modify it. Check out the English sample works directory to see how some people went about it.
At the bare minimum, I'd say you should be quoting four times per paragraph (unless you write page-long paragraphs like me :P in which case that number is probably closer to 7 or 8.) But there are countless essays that could score a perfect 10 whilst being stingy with the quotes, but analysing things closely all the same. Ironically your teacher telling you you're not specific enough, isn't specific enough. Is it a problem with the examples you chose being underdeveloped, or is it about how you're using them and linking them to your discussion? Either way I'd say talk to your teacher first and see if you can get some advice, particularly for the next two SACs.

~V:
There are no good or bad styles for a context piece, only good or bad ways of writing them. If you think a blog post suits your writing style  and you can make it work not as a gimmick, but as something to add to your discussion (ie. why would your piece work differently as a blog post than as a speech or essay?) then go for it. It might be worth reading some sample articles (The Australian + The Review are probably best) and see how their opinions come across. For a more extreme example, read some Herald Sun editorials an d notice the difference in language and tone; but write whichever way you feel is best :)

tcapote:
I'll preface all this by referring you to EZ's Guide to Succeeding in VCE Literature That should give you a general sense of the course.
With regards to the English/Lit transition: with a good teacher and/or a solid work ethic you should be fine. Lit, like English, isn't all that difficult to grasp conceptually, and once you know what the criteria are asking you to do, it's just a matter of fine-tuning your approach.
Biggest difference between Lit and English: the focus of your essays will be more towards the language than the characters/theme/message etc. Lit deals with how language is used to create meaning, and whilst the meaning is important, the 'how' is critical. Take a look through the past exams as the Passage Analysis format is the biggest part of the course. Essentially you're given 3 excerpts from the text you've studied and you have to construct an analytical piece around them. It's exactly as vague as it sounds :) There's also some bits and pieces throughout the year as outlined in EZ's post.
The most common difficulty is that there's a tendency for a lot of students (myself included) to start writing in an English-y way by focusing too much on the big picture and not the stylistic features of the text. Whereas in an English T.R. you know what your focus is, you sort of have to create your own in Lit and ensure you keep if in mind throughout your essay.
I knew people who picked up Lit without Units 1/2 and a lot of them ended up scoring just as well if not better than others with an extra year of practice. It all depends on the effort you're willing to put in. Suffice it to say the first few essays you write will probably be all over the place, but once you know what you'r'e doing, Lit is one of the most rewarding subjects, way more so than English imo.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: smile+energy on July 30, 2014, 04:00:19 pm
Hi, Lauren
Could you tell me how to write rebuttal in a T.R and what is the smartest way to do it?
And I also found for some questions, it's hard to write the rebuttal on. What can I do then?
Thanks in advance.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Blondie21 on July 30, 2014, 04:07:16 pm
Hey Lauren

My school has just started studying our second text for Text Response. However, there is one class at my school who are studying language analysis again (as the teacher is afraid that they would have forgotten how to write a language analysis essay)

I feel like I have forgotten how to write a decent language analysis and once we finish this new text, there won't be much time until the exam.

my question is: how did you balance studying for each section of the English exam in the last 3 months until the exam?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Paulrus on July 31, 2014, 08:19:32 am
hey lauren,
how long was it before you started feeling confident about context?
at the moment i'm finding i get thrown by some prompts, and i need almost an hour and 20 minutes to write a decent 900-1000 word piece. what's the best way to improve on speed before the exam?
thanks heaps!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: 24bauer12 on July 31, 2014, 02:40:32 pm
Hi Lauren,
Is it compulsory for an introduction and a conclusion to summarise the contention of a text response? In T.R how would you go about constructing a topic sentence;did you follow a specific formula? Is having a paragraph which challenges the prompts implications sufficient to fulfill the different interpretations criteria?
Thanks in advance!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: 90ATAR on July 31, 2014, 03:09:49 pm
Hi Lauren,

I have a context essay sac tomorrow and was wondering if I am shaping my knowledge well enough around the prompt. here is an example of one of my paragraphs.

Prompt: Living a lie always catches up to you in the end.

The fear of societal truths can force people to resort to lying about a reality. People suppress and repress memories, and fabricate experiences in order for a person to defend their core values, dreams and ego. After World War II, the American Dream promised so much and provided hope for Americans in that they could have a house, a family and plentiful money, but this reality eluded Willy Loman. Willy had dedicated his life to achieving the American Dream, which is a social dream that is underpinned by its materialism where the individuals must follow societal values or personal ideals and face the consequences. As a result of Willy being unable to achieve the American dream, Willy deluded himself from his true reality to escape the harsh truths of failure during the mid-20th century, and admitted 'times are tough,' but 'not for me of course.' Willy holds onto the belief that the American Dream is still within his grasp, but blames such failure of accomplishment on the population, because 'there's more people' who are living his dream. His devotion to living a reality of lies in order to act the image of success and the achievement of the American Dream drove him into a deep psychosis where his reality became infected with hallucinations of his past, fabricating his reality to portray the image of not being a 'dime a dozen,' but instead to fulfil the expectations of 'magnificence' and grandeur like Ben. Although Willy believes the American Dream is infallible, he continues to fabricate a reality of wealth in that he has an obsession with diamonds as a measure of tangible wealth, and validation of his labour whilst working on 'commission,' living in denial about the truths of his reality of 'still feel[ing] temporary about myself,' shaping his past in a way that is always rosy. However, Willy plants seeds in a desperate attempt to signify his inability to provide as a father, leaving nothing on the table for his children or wife when he passes. His recognition of being unable to achieve the American Dream ultimately leads to his demise and the disclosure of truths that the decades of single-minded dedication of being 'the man of New England' was all a lie, and simply passes the 'magnificence' of $20,000 onto Biff, resigning to the death bed knowing Biff can achieve the American Dream through the life insurance payout.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: geminii on July 31, 2014, 07:05:02 pm
Hey Lauren,
I have a context essay tomorrow on a film. I was wondering if you had any tips on how to structure the introduction and other paragraphs at a year 9 or slightly higher level? Also, how many quotes do you think I should be aiming for in each paragraph?
Thanks so much,
Ace  :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on August 02, 2014, 11:47:46 pm
smile+energy:

The rebuttal isn't compulsory provided your contention is well-developed, but if you are committed to one, or your teacher prefers it: ask questions! Look at the prompt from different angles and you should be able to find a new point of discussion. There's no "smartest way" to do any of this, only what works for you and what doesn't.
If a prompt cannot be directly challenged (these will usually be structural ones, eg. 'How does the author maintain a sense of tension throughout the text?' to which you can't just say 'yes' or 'no') then you have to have a good contention that looks at the different ideas and implications. These essays will require a different approach to the 'standard' character and theme questions, so maybe talk to your teacher if you're considering these.

Blondie21:

{I'll be writing up a Term 3-4/SWOT-VAC study guide when I get a chance, so there'll be more detail there... and possibly a checklist of what you should already know vs. be working on +other miscellaneous things... depending on how lazy I get. I'll put a link in my sig when it's done}
Don't worry too much about the other classes, but if you feel uncertain about L.A. (or anything for that matter) you should definitely work on it sooner rather than later. In short, I balanced my time by knowing what I needed to devote it to... if that makes sense. Rather than writing three essays at a time over and over again, I might just go through compiling a bunch of topic sentences for a difficult T.R. prompt, or come up with a good contention and list a few examples for a context piece. If there's an area that you're struggling in, devote more time to bringing that up to scratch since everything is weighted equally in the exam.
I know many teachers abandon L.A. after the Semester 1 SAC, (correctly) assuming it can be taught quickly in the weeks leading up to the exam. Trouble is, if you wait till then you're missing out on a year's worth of developing your skills and working on your weaknesses. Might be worth going to your teacher and asking for some extra help/work if you're really struggling, otherwise see how you go writing a piece yourself and then get some feedback. At this level, teachers are usually pretty receptive to students taking initiative in their own learning. If not, there's always AN :)

Paulrus:

I didn't feel confident about context until I got my study score :p Even then I was quite surprised for a couple of days. But I would argue that not feeling confident was kind of helpful in that I never had a chance to get complacent. On the other hand you don't want to be panicking, so I guess I'd say a good aim would be to have the three essay formats and the textual content well and truly covered before Term 4, then you can work on fine tuning bits and pieces.
With regards to timing, it really depends what you're having issues with. If the ideas aren't coming to you or you can't link them fluently then it's probably an issue with your focus (ie. a convoluted contention doesn't lend itself well to a seamless integration of ideas) Whereas if you know what you want to say and just can't express it, then it's a conceptual problem. This is arguably easier to fix since it just involves exposure to as many prompts as possible. Since you're at that high level anyway, write on the tricky ones.
Being 20 mins over isn't too much of a problem, but it's best to aim for under an hour so, either:
    -   Force yourself to write things in an hour. Be aware of the time and wrap discussion up quickly if you need to. The first few pieces you write like this might seem a bit stagnated or underdeveloped, but eventually it will become more natural.
    -   Or, keep doing what you're doing: take as long as you need but time how long you're going over. As you get more confident with your style and content, the time will probably end up going down on its own.
(Of course there'll be instances where you're trialing a new idea/example/format in which case don't feel obliged to time yourself; 'formative' or developmental essays completed over a few days to let the ideas ferment can be an excellent way to break up the monotony.)
In the end my context prompt was still a surprise, and it messed with a lot of students' results, but you have to expect all eventualities.
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best :)

24bauer12:

1. I don't know if 'summarised' is the right word, but your contention should definitely be clearly and concisely stated in your intro and conclusion. Don't fall into the trap of redundantly tacking it onto the end of ever discussion point though, try to segue from your discussion of the textual evidence back to your main argument.
2. I always hated the formulaic topic sentences, so I pretty much let my contention drive the discussion. So long as your T.S. is expanding upon your contention (which in turn will be an expansion of the prompt) then you should be fine. VCAA isn't that strict; a quick glimpse through some high scoring practice pieces will show there's a hundred different ways to do it well.
3. Yes, the challenge paragraph can be sufficient if used well. In some sense your argument should already be considering these multiple viewpoints though, (eg. 'Whilst this character could be dismissed as irredeemable, there are in fact various facets to his identity that hint at a possible redemption.')

90ATAR:

Sorry about the late reply, hope your SAC went well :)
This paragraph is good so if you wrote as well as this you should be fine. Some things to watch out for though:
- This is a very text-dominant paragraph and you need to move beyond the set reading (if not within this paragraph certainly in your piece as a whole) lest it sound like a Text Response.
- Another good way to avoid this 'T.R. feel' is to zoom out and look at the broader ideas. Ends of paras are usually the best (but not only) place for this. You finish on a point of evidence without really explaining its significance. The connection to the prompt might be obvious to you, but you need to make it super-clear to your assessor as well.

AceVCE777:
Again, sorry about the delay  :-\
For Year 9 (and 10 for that matter) do whatever your teacher recommends. There's no sense learning a VCE level response since that's not what they're asking of you. Basically the skills you develop will assist you later on, but they don't want to bombard you with criteria atm. For the intro I suppose you could use some historical/authorial context if it's relevant to what you're studying. Paragraphs are usually structured by themes at most levels unless you're deliberately going beyond that. Don't do a standard character-by-character response though.
I'm afraid no student in the history of time and space has ever gotten a clear answer to the 'how many quotes?' question. My personal recommendation is that 3 should be your minimum, but I've seen plenty of flawless paragraphs with less than this. The more important thing is how you're using these quotes. Can you integrate them well? Are they all relevant to your discussion? Are they relatively short (ie. less than 1 1/2 lines) so you're not wasting time? Can you modify them appropriately? If you're confident with these then you'll be cruising through T.R. quote usage in Year 12 :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: ~V on August 02, 2014, 11:55:36 pm
Hey Lauren,
when writing an expository essay, is it okay to sit on the fence and explore ideas from both sides of the prompt? I've been searching around the internet about a contention and everyone is saying you need your opinion on it, but, wouldn't that be persuasive then? isn't expository about "exploring" the prompt hence why you can't agree or disagree fully??
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jono_CP on August 03, 2014, 12:25:18 am
Hey Lauren,

I am aiming for a really high score for the stage drama entitled 'No Sugar', in which the text response SAC is held on Friday.

From your experience, what does it take to achieve these lofty ambitions as you have done more than successfully? Should I do more practice essays? Should I organise some one-one time with various English teachers?

All things being equal, I do not intend to pursue this stage drama in the exam as I am more confident with other options.

What motivated you to achieve superb scores, whilst already deciding particular aspects of what you might or might not do in the exam?

I also tend to get extremely nervous before any SAC as I want to do extremely well, more anxious than anyone I know. I'm not sure if you had this issue, but if so could you give me any tips as I recognise that you are a high achiever and would have combated anxiety extremely well?

NB: I sent a previous message on this thread about potentially sending you some photos of a text response of mine (handwritten), but I received no response? I perfectly understand if you take umbrage, and I certainly don't want to pester...

Thank you :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: smile+energy on August 03, 2014, 04:48:06 pm
Thank you Lauren
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: lovexxoo on August 07, 2014, 11:52:22 pm
Just wanted to ask  , will writing 2 main body paragraphs instead of 3 matter ? The altogether my essays reach the word limit though.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on August 08, 2014, 12:04:35 am
V~
Short answer: have a contention. It's not about persuasion and more about giving your piece focus. You don't have to definitively agree or disagree, but arguing a point rationally will be more effective than a fence sitting essay that just says 'maybe this and maybe that' without coming to any impressive conclusion.

Contrarian:
Re: anxiety, though this may sound counter-intuitive, think about why you're anxious. I'm sure others would disagree and say positive thinking is the best option, but I think being able to rationalise your nerves is a lot more effective than ignoring them.
Also, from a purely pragmatic point of view, it can actually assist with your studies. For example, I remember having a stress-nightmare in which I sat down to do the english exam and there was just a blank piece of paper in front of me that said 'Write.' I freaked out because I felt like I needed more focus, and if left to my own devices my mind would wander and never complete the task at hand. Obviously this was founded in irrationality, but it did make me realise I needed to familiarise myself with more broad prompts for T.R. and Context (eg. something like: The novel shows us what it means to be a good person; something which felt way to broad for me to say anything substantial about.)
Of course telling yourself you are competant and prepared and wonderful shouldn't be underestimated. As always, think constructively, not destructively. Instead of ohmygodohmygod-I'm-going-to-fail-English-and-be-rejected-from-every-uni/TAFE-in-the-known-universe, think: okay, so I'm worried I won't know where to start with my essay, my plans are shabby and unhelpful, clearly I can't write a good intro, and topic sentences don't come easily to me, so that's what I need to work on now.
Re: motivation, suffice it to say I wasn't deliberately aiming high. I've said time and time again that I had no idea I was capable of a 50 until about a week after receiving my results when it all sank in. I've always enjoyed English, I enjoyed my classes and texts in Year 12, and in the end it worked out well for me. Aiming high is great, but know what you have to do to get better (qualitatively, not quantitatively, ie. 'i need to better integrate evidence' as opposed to 'i need to go from an 8 to a 10')
All the best for your SAC!

lovexxoo:
For which essay type exactly?
I'd say try to break it down into three anyway. I wrote massive paragraphs for my pieces but I had to be careful not to let the ideas drag on, or to cram too much in. The purpose of recommending three paragraphs is usually to ensure breadth and depth of ideas, so in general two paragraphs alone won't cover enough ground while seven won't allow enough detailed discussion. You could definitely pull it off, but for safety's sake I'd say write at least three. You wouldn't want to get a snarky assessor at the end of the year who marks you down for such a minor issue. Most won't notice/care, but plan for the worst all the same.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: zeiinaaa on August 09, 2014, 05:52:28 pm
Hey Lauren I know this isn't really related to English specifically, however I've been needing an answer to this question for ages.
Are literature and English writing Styles different? I mean I know how to practice my writing for English- which is generally through practice essays of text response, context and language analysis, however I have no idea how to practice for lit!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: JackSonSmith on August 12, 2014, 07:13:34 pm
What is the "Goal" of text response essays?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: walkec on August 12, 2014, 08:18:32 pm
Hi Lauren,

I just posted this on the Lit board, but it also applies to English too. Do you think now is too early to begin re reading texts that I want to study for both the English and the Lit exam? For Lit, I'm planning to write on Capote's In Cold Blood and Kennedy's Dark Roots and for English I think I'll use Stasiland for text response (but its tricky to know because we have only just started The Reluctant Fundamentalist).

Both In Cold Blood and Stasiland are pretty big texts too. Thoughts on starting these re reads now?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on August 12, 2014, 08:49:35 pm
Hey Lauren I know this isn't really related to English specifically, however I've been needing an answer to this question for ages.
Are literature and English writing Styles different? I mean I know how to practice my writing for English- which is generally through practice essays of text response, context and language analysis, however I have no idea how to practice for lit!
Yes, Lit and English require a pretty different skillset in order to score well, though there is a little bit of overlap. One of the biggest differences is, as you've noted, English can be divided into T.R. Context and L.A. whereas most of what you've done in Lit. up until now won't be assessed again. The Close Analysis / Passage Analysis / Close Reading is all you'll be doing on the exam, so that should definitely be your priority when it comes to practice pieces. The work you've done in Alternate V&V or Adaptations and Transformations SACs will help assist in your overall understanding, but you won't actually be asked to focus on those things.
The simplest way I can put this is: English is usually about ideas, Lit is always about language.
Obviously the Language Analysis component of English is concerned with (surprise) language, but even this links into the broader idea of how we're being persuaded. In an English T.R. you're expected to deal with the ideas of the text, making reference to the language and devices, but in Lit, you centre on these features and look at how they create meaning, as opposed to what the meaning might be.
Hope that wasn't too rambly for you :)

What is the "Goal" of text response essays?
Answer the prompt.
Sounds simple, doesn't it?
I could expand upon this for ages but what it comes down to is your ability to draw meaning from the text and apply it to a discussion of VCAA's choosing. I've posted before on the general (unofficial) criteria categories - these aren't prescribed or anything, this is just my own list, but if you're fulfilling these requirements then you're fulfilling VCAA's by proxy, these are just better worded imho :)
- Relevance: to the prompt and to the text. Fairly simple, but this is often where students lose marks either for focusing on the wrong implications of a prompt or misinterpret it entirely. Classic example: there was a text in 2012 about overcoming adversity and got the prompt: 'How does >text< show that trauma can bring about unexpected qualities in people' or something along those lines. The Assessor's Report noted how many essays dealt with the general qualities, but not the unexpected qualities. I wasn't joking when I said your task is to answer the prompt- but it's a tougher challenge than many expect it to be.
-Ideas: you're assessed on both depth and breadth. Fairly straightforward.
-Writing: vocab, spelling, and grammar/expression. Both these last categories can influence your mark considerably if you're doing something wrong, but relevance is the biggest determiner of the three.

Let me know if you have any more specific questions and hopefully I'll be able to clarify.

Hi Lauren,

I just posted this on the Lit board, but it also applies to English too. Do you think now is too early to begin re reading texts that I want to study for both the English and the Lit exam? For Lit, I'm planning to write on Capote's In Cold Blood and Kennedy's Dark Roots and for English I think I'll use Stasiland for text response (but its tricky to know because we have only just started The Reluctant Fundamentalist).

Both In Cold Blood and Stasiland are pretty big texts too. Thoughts on starting these re reads now?
For Lit: reread now. Reread constantly. It doesn't always have to be a cover-to-cover, experience, but you should definitely familiarise yourself with some major passages or interesting annotation-dense sections. Hopefully you've grasped things plot-wise so full read-throughs will become less-and-less necessary as the year goes on. This doesn't have to be too intensive either, just going through your notes or a brief excerpt before bed/over breakfast/whenever you learn best can be sufficient.
For English: Stasiland and TRF probably warrant a reread or two, but it depends where you're at. Going through a pure text version probably won't help much unless your memory is a sieve and you've forgotten who the characters are, but going through an annotated version (or some chronological notes if you have them) might be useful.
I suppose it depends why you're rereading. If you feel it'll assist in your understanding of the text, then go for it. For me, reading was always a nice break from 'real study' ie. sitting through methods practice papers, so I'd look forward to going over notes on the bus or when my internet connection was down :P
Like most of my advice on here, it all comes down to doing whatever works for you.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: JackSonSmith on August 12, 2014, 08:55:31 pm
So basically you have your contention on the prompt and support with 3 body paragraphs? It has always seemed like some sort of abstract idea to me.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: IndefatigableLover on August 12, 2014, 08:57:07 pm
HEY Lauren! I thought I'd ask my question now rather than later since I only found out today LOL..

BUT.. I just found out that we do oral presentations one-to-one rather than in a classroom setting with others in it and for some reason that makes me feel weird since I'm more of a person who speaks in front of crowds rather than to just one person (then it feels like a conversation) since I tend to be interactive in my speeches I guess...

Do you have any tips on doing an oral presentation in front of just one person as oppose to speaking in front of a classroom? Are there any techniques I could learn that I could implement later on for oral presentations?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on August 12, 2014, 09:55:32 pm
So basically you have your contention on the prompt and support with 3 body paragraphs? It has always seemed like some sort of abstract idea to me.

At a very basic level, yes. But some students prefer to write 4 or 5 paragraphs, one of which can be a 'challenge' paragraph that looks at things from a different perspective. Most schools and teachers provide their own preferred formula that they'll give you for SACs that you can modify for your exam.

HEY Lauren! I thought I'd ask my question now rather than later since I only found out today LOL..

BUT.. I just found out that we do oral presentations one-to-one rather than in a classroom setting with others in it and for some reason that makes me feel weird since I'm more of a person who speaks in front of crowds rather than to just one person (then it feels like a conversation) since I tend to be interactive in my speeches I guess...

Do you have any tips on doing an oral presentation in front of just one person as oppose to speaking in front of a classroom? Are there any techniques I could learn that I could implement later on for oral presentations?

For the most part your content will be the same, though you will have to be careful with your interactive elements (referring to the audience as you, us etc. Maybe check with your assessor closer to the date as to what s/he prefers.)
The various Oral Presentation Guides on this board are pretty conclusive, so I'd recommend reading through those now, then again next year when you're in the process of writing and editing your speech.
Again, I'm sure your school will provide you with more information specific to their own criteria :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: zeiinaaa on August 12, 2014, 09:58:30 pm
Not it wasn't rambly at all, I understood it perfectly! Thankyou :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: IndefatigableLover on August 12, 2014, 10:05:35 pm
That's wonderful thanks Lauren :D
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: allstar on August 14, 2014, 02:15:37 pm
Hello Lauren,

whats that word used when im trying to say that they died for a reason and yet no one has learnt from it? how would i describe their death?

for example someone died because of a certain action, and years later people have not learnt from that action and still practice it today... millions of people are still dying... how would i describe the deaths of that someone who died?

the death was... its not  ignored...not unjustified... its similiar in meaning.... im not sure...

we should be looking at the death as an example to prevent it from happening again....
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on August 14, 2014, 02:22:13 pm
Not sure if this is what you're looking for, but 'died in vain' would probably be the phrase I'd use.
Could also be: inconsequential, hollow, pointless (these are all a bit negative.)
Or if you're suggesting, for example, that the civil rights movement was pointless because racism still exists, so people like MLK died for nothing (which would be a pretty flimsy argument :P) you could say "their futile attempts to enact change" if you didn't want to deal with death specifically.
I'm sure your example makes way more sense than mine though :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: allstar on August 14, 2014, 02:28:36 pm
hello lauren, thank you
the example im trying to use is the hiroshima bombings this year is the 69th anniversary and im trying to write a title for a feature article i want to write about:

69 years later, Japan commemorates _____________ deaths

im trying to say like they died producing no result, no change... like people should be looking at their deaths as an example of the dangers of tech advancement.... no more nuclear weaponry!!! not sure how to describe thsoe death those... cause people are looking up to te deaths at all... i wouldn't use the word ignored though... and futile seems a bit too negative?

help!!!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: tiff_tiff on August 14, 2014, 02:37:46 pm
do you happen to know any examples of history when conflict is needed people its the only way people can voice their ideas generally in a society that is oppressed (eg... i know most protests would come under this idea...)

and any examples where it will strength bonds b/w people.

I have taken a look at the context page you have! wonderful stuff! love it !

thanks in advance
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on August 14, 2014, 03:11:16 pm
allstar:
I probably wouldn't put such a bold statement in your title; leave it for the body paragraphs so you can explain yourself fully.
Perhaps expanding upon this and turning it into a (rhetorical?) question, eg. 'Japan commemorates Hiroshima deaths, but how far have we really come?'
Feature articles that take a look back at history can make for great links, but don't set it up as a very factual story. Editorials/opinion pieces tend to give you the best opportunity to deal with broader ideas, so whilst historical events can make a great backdrop, they're not the real focus of your piece.

If you're committed to this word then try plugging in some synonyms in a thesaurus. I've had a look but nothing jumps out at me, hopefully you'll know it when you see it.

Point of interest: the feeling of frustration you get when you can't think of a word to describe something is 'onomatomania.' The more you know.

tiff_tiff:
The Arab Spring uprising would be a good contemporary link --> in some sense you could argue this strengthened nationalistic pride, though as a challenge you could mention how it caused further divide in some countries (ie. it wasn't simply goodies vs. baddies, people rebelled in different ways, and often there were war crimes committed on both sides.)
Most protest movements have a similar, though less extreme effect, so just find something you're interested in, or something that fits your other examples :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: scandin9 on August 14, 2014, 08:38:54 pm
What academic articles on your text should you use? Would you recommend the State Library of Victoria? How do you amalgamate the historical context of a text and stylistic features in a text response to comment on the views and values of the author?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: allstar on August 14, 2014, 10:34:50 pm
thank you

just another quick question:
whats a better way of phrasing this?
'.society will pay for the consequences'
'society will suffer the consequences' 

or

all hell break loose

Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: JackSonSmith on August 15, 2014, 06:53:00 pm
In your opinion, what makes a text response essay impressive?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Valyria on August 16, 2014, 02:26:05 pm
Hey Lauren,

Do you know any supplementary that involves an individual who doesn't want to change/immerse themselves into their past through escapism from the present day? I'm trying to find supplementary that is complementary with Willy Loman from Death of a Salesman but all I have right now is Gatsby.

Thanks :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on August 16, 2014, 05:07:31 pm
In your opinion, what makes a text response essay impressive?
If the whole thing is clear, concise, and interesting, there's not an assessor on Earth who wouldn't be impressed with you.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on August 16, 2014, 08:00:22 pm
What academic articles on your text should you use? Would you recommend the State Library of Victoria? How do you amalgamate the historical context of a text and stylistic features in a text response to comment on the views and values of the author?
The State Library is a good database, but Google Scholar is probably your best bet for proper academia. You might have to wade through a bit, and certain texts will have more resources than others, obviously.
A regular google search can return some helpful results too. eg. for anyone studying a more recent novel, some reviews will often look at things from a more sophisticated perspective. Again, some wading is necessary.
How you incorporate historical evidence/ V&V will depend on your text, but in general: try to do it at the end of your paragraphs as a neat way of wrapping up, and ensure you don't get too far away from the text at any point. My advice is to ensure every sentence is linked to the text. It doesn't have to be all character/quote analyses, but if you find yourself spending two or three lines on an author's back story or something, cut it down because chances are you won't get credit for it.
thank you
just another quick question:
whats a better way of phrasing this?
'.society will pay for the consequences'
'society will suffer the consequences' 
or
all hell break loose
Not entirely sure what you're asking, but "society will pay" sounds a bit menacing. Like, Scooby Doo villain "You'll pay for this! And you're little dog too!" type menacing. "Society will suffer the consequences" is much more formal and essay-appropriate. Then again, if this is a slightly creative or hybrid piece then you might be angling for a more persuasive tone of voice, so it's up to you.
'All hell breaks loose' is a pretty widely accepted phrase. Unless it's an issue with repetition I wouldn't be too concerned with changing it.
If it is a repetition problem then you might want to rephrase some of your arguments to avoid redundancy.
With most of these phraseology/vocab questions, I'm happy to help (and I understand the frustration) but it's probably best to try and work through them yourself. You won't have access to the forums in the exam room; you'll have to trust your own intuition and learned abilities. The more you practice working through this sort of stuff, the easier it will be :)
In your opinion, what makes a text response essay impressive?
I'm desperately trying to avoid saying 'one that fulfills all the criteria,' but as I've said previously, ticking all the boxes is actually quite an achievement. (See earlier posts if you need help identifying/ clarifying these.)
On a personal level, I'm always impressed whenever I read something I've never thought about before, and I'd imagine this would be doubly true for an assessor who spends a whole term teaching a text, knows it inside out, then is assigned a pile of 200 essays on one of two topics; often there's not a very wide margin for individuality, but it's always nice to see someone using more sophisticated evidence to illustrate an idea in an interesting way.
There is a spectrum for this sort of thing, of course. I might write a wonderful essay about how the tensions in 12 Angry Men perfectly mirror the culture of groupthink observed in certain giraffe collectives. And I guarantee the assessor will have never read that before, but seeing as it's an irrelevant waste of ink, I'm more likely to piss them off than impress them.
Relevance is an always has been the primary criterion, but don't neglect your ideas and writing style either.
Hey Lauren,

Do you know any supplementary that involves an individual who doesn't want to change/immerse themselves into their past through escapism from the present day? I'm trying to find supplementary that is complementary with Willy Loman from Death of a Salesman but all I have right now is Gatsby.

Thanks :)
Zezima's example of Abbott sounds pretty solid, and contemporary media stories always make good links for a context piece. Be careful with the political angle though. For your SAC you'll be safe so long as your teacher isn't overly partisan (or if (s)he is, you're writing something that caters to this bias) but in the exam you have no idea who you're going to get. There are some fairly safe assumptions you can make, eg. (S)he is against genocide, so I can safely condemn such actions. Party politics is a little trickier, and I usually advice steering well clear of any definitive judgments, even in a persuasive piece.
Some other examples you might consider:
-metathesiophobia: a genuine medical condition, an irrational fear of change. Some documented cases might be of some use.
-regression: (in psychological terms) is a defense mechanism, eg. me running away from all my commitments and 'regressing' to my 5 year old self --> refusing to do chores, "running away" from home, and going back to calling myself 'Auren.' 
-The United States of Tara: was on the ABC a few years ago and featured a woman with DID (=Multiple Personality Disorder) One of her 'alters' or alternate personalities was her teenage self (swore a lot, drank to excess, dressed like an uncouth woman etc.) Not that I'm encouraging binge-watching instead of studying, and some general research/ wikipedia-ing should suffice, but it certainly got me interested in the phenomenon.



Apologies to everyone for my delays recently. I'm going through some stuff that's taking most of my time and energy, but I should be back to normal soon. The aforementioned swot-vac guide and an updated/ properly formatted directory version of this thread are on my to-do list. I know most of you are entering into a busy SAC period so I'll endeavour to help as much as I can.
Best of luck! :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: allstar on August 16, 2014, 08:38:32 pm
thank you lauren,

the thing is.. im writing this in a formal piece of writing... and to write all hell broke loose seems very informal to be writing in a an academic essay.:
'It only has to fail once and ..... (all hell breaks loose?)'
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on August 16, 2014, 09:02:11 pm
How about 'dire consequences may ensue.' Or 'there may be serious ramifications?'
Some more specific links to your example might help. Otherwise you can always use slightly colloquial language in Context (and then justify it in a Written Explanation for your SAC; say it helps your target audience grasp the concepts or w/e)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: scandin9 on August 18, 2014, 02:44:08 pm
Hi Lauren,
Is it possible for a text response to have four paragraphs and have only one paragraph supporting the prompt with the other three arguing against the prompt. What is your opinion on defining words in the introduction of a text response? Is analysing hendiadys, enjambment and euphemisms/ dysphemisms  to deep for an english text response?
Thanks in advance!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: allstar on August 18, 2014, 06:23:46 pm
what is another way of saying:
'dumbing' the population

i need to write it in an academic manner becasue i plan to use this in a formal essay :(
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on August 18, 2014, 07:33:27 pm
Hi Lauren,
Is it possible for a text response to have four paragraphs and have only one paragraph supporting the prompt with the other three arguing against the prompt. What is your opinion on defining words in the introduction of a text response? Is analysing hendiadys, enjambment and euphemisms/ dysphemisms  to deep for an english text response?
Thanks in advance!
Yes you can definitely disagree with the prompt, in fact that's usually a safer bet than blindly agreeing. Most prompts require challenging to some extent, though there are exceptions.
Definitions in intros = 'I have nothing better to say.' Try not to do this; certainly not in a very overt way like 'Courage, which for the purposes of this essay I will define as...' That said, I once got stuck with a prompt about the 'ethics and metaphysics of Henry IV Part 1,' so from memory I did put a little qualifier there like 'Shakespearean metaphysics, that is, the abstract concepts of identity and belief...'
{Another lesson in why dictionaries are important in exam scenarios!}
Those devices are fine to comment on, but ensure you're doing it for a purpose and not just to show off vocab. Also, it's no substitute for actual analysis, as English tends to require more focus on characters, themes, and overall message.
what is another way of saying:
'dumbing' the population

i need to write it in an academic manner becasue i plan to use this in a formal essay :(
Try a thesaurus. Otherwise see if you can rephrase the sentence yourself. If alternate words aren't coming to you then you should be expanding your vocab now, but you also need to practice working through these concerns yourself so you don't hit a mental roadblock in the exam.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: JackSonSmith on August 18, 2014, 09:25:11 pm
In language analysis, if the author (of an article) gives dignity to a person or group, what effect does this have on the reader? (Perception of person/group perhaps?)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: hwilome on August 19, 2014, 04:40:30 pm
Hello Lauren, just wonder in a Text Response,
what's the percentage of time I should allocate on planning the essay?
How detailed should the planning be in order to write the essay fluently?


Wish you all the best in your university life. :D
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: magneto on August 19, 2014, 09:07:03 pm
how do i write this:

for so long people thought they deserved it, without stopping to think were they in the right first.

is that correct english: they were in the right? (that part of the statement)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: JackSonSmith on August 19, 2014, 10:28:20 pm
how do i write this:

for so long people thought they deserved it, without stopping to think were they in the right first.

is that correct english: they were in the right? (that part of the statement)

For a long time, people thought that they deserved it without stopping to think that they were in the right first.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: DJA on August 19, 2014, 10:37:07 pm
For a long time, people thought that they deserved it without stopping to think that they were in the right first.

For a long time, people thought that they deserved it without first stopping to think that they were in the right.

 :P Slightly different - but how I would do it. I don't think there is a right answer.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on August 20, 2014, 10:49:54 pm
In language analysis, if the author (of an article) gives dignity to a person or group, what effect does this have on the reader? (Perception of person/group perhaps?)

I don't know if there is a specific technique for this, but depending on the type of language used, it might be aggrandizement, an exaltation, or perhaps a show of deference? None of these are technically 'techniques,' and often with L.A. you don't have to attribute something to an umbrella term. Sometimes discussing the general positioning or appeals can be more effective than letting the terminology do the talking for you.

Hello Lauren, just wonder in a Text Response,
what's the percentage of time I should allocate on planning the essay?
How detailed should the planning be in order to write the essay fluently?

The 'planning' I did for my T.R. piece in the exam consisted of three scribbled words: 'tree-fruit' a character's name, and the word 'olives' for some reason... I still don't remember why. On the other hand, i had friends who wrote out an extensive plan for 10 minutes, then could churn out an essay in 40-45. It really is dependent on your preferred style, so if timing is a concern for you then try to work on cutting down your planning now. I've mentioned this a couple of times, but your plan won't be assessed (in fact, it won't even be looked at now that the papers are all digitally scanned; there'll be a page in the booklet for rough working that won't be sent off for consideration/correction) Hence, your plan only has to make sense to you; rather than writing out entire sentences or fleshed out ideas, try to develop a shorthand, especially for T.R. where single letters/symbols can function as character names, themes, V&V etc.
As a rough estimate, I'd say anything beyond 5 minutes is probably excessive, but if you're someone who relies heavily on plans or the prompt is something conceptually difficult, then I can understand this number rising to around 10 mins. The quality of your plan, however, is entirely up to you.

how do i write this:

for so long people thought they deserved it, without stopping to think were they in the right first.

is that correct english: they were in the right? (that part of the statement)

If this is a sentence on its own, then:
'For so long, people thought they deserved it, without first stopping to think about whether or not they were in the right.'

^This would be my preferred structure, but I tend to fall on the side of caution and include extra information for the sake of grammatical clarity. In terms of getting the point across, the two examples above are also sufficient. As is often the case with English, there's not really a definitive rule or answer.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: yang_dong on August 21, 2014, 10:30:20 pm
Hey lauren,

have you read the text ransom before?

What do these incidents reveal about Priam's character?
- the appearance of goddess Iris: his dependence of gods and his absolute trust in them?
- Hecuba's response to his plan: Hecuba's response is that she rejects the idea, much like many others, but how does that reveal about Priam's character? He has a role to play in society?
- the objections of his sons and advisers: very similiar to the Hecuba one. Strange how they separated the two???
- arrival of the first mode of transport choosen: determined? i have no idea about this one?
- the appearance of somax and his wagon: we learn about his duality.

can you please help me with these scenarios? thank you :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Saammhmm on August 23, 2014, 12:18:28 am
Hi Lauren,

I'm quite unsure as to which text I should do at the end of year exam. We've gone through Ransom and Henry IV Part I already and I feel capable doing both texts. I'd rather do Henry IV because there's so much depth in Shakespeare and the Lit side of me wants to do it (I studied Antony and Cleopatra last year for Lit) but I feel like I should focus on Ransom because the calibre of text responses by students doing Henry IV is so high. Should I stick to Ransom or Henry IV? Do you think doing Ransom will make it easier for me to get a higher score than if I did Henry IV and vice versa?

Hopefully you can answer my questions, thankyou  :D
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: HHD on August 25, 2014, 04:37:31 pm
Hi Lauren, my eng teacher comments on my essay: you retell the story, how can I avoid retelling the story in text response?

Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: #J.Procrastinator on August 25, 2014, 04:49:18 pm
Hi Lauren!

I'm studying "The Member of The Wedding" as a context piece and was wondering whether it'd be a good idea to include song lyrics as a secondary text? How would I weave it into my paragraph with my main ideas drawn from my primary text? Also, what other secondary texts or ideas can I refer to? (kind of stuck on ideas)

One last thing, do I have to make references to The Member of the Wedding in each paragraph?

Cheers!  ;D
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on August 25, 2014, 08:55:28 pm
yang_dong:

It seems a little counter-intuitive for me to be doing this sort of work since this is what you're expected do to in order to understand the text. It looks like you've got some starting points so see where they take you. If you're struggling with text comprehension then it might be worth consulting your teacher.

Saammhmm:

Go with whatever text you prefer. Regardless of the average scores or how many students write on what, someone has to get a 10, and there's no reason why you can't if you're prepared to put the work in. Since Ransom is in its 4th year, there will likely be some tricky prompts. Henry is only in its 3rd, but writing on Shakespeare is an acquired skill. Having done it in previous years puts you in good stead to deal with whatever they throw at you, so don't be too concerned with what the rest of the state chooses.

HHD:

There's an excellent blog post on the VCE Study Guides page on this topic here: http://www.vcestudyguides.com/how-to-avoid-retelling-the-story
Other than that, constantly reminding yourself not to retell the story is a good way to go about it :p Now that you know what you're doing wrong, make a conscious effort to analyse. You can safely assume your assessor has read the text, so minimise time spent recounting or contextualising events. It's enough to say 'After X argues with Y, their relationship dynamic changes...' rather than delving into the lead up to the event.

#J.Procrastinator
Check out the context examples directory in my sig, there's heaps of stuff there to kick start your ideas. You can use song lyrics, but it can come off as a bit hackneyed or cliche, it depends on the song I suppose.
No, you do not have to use the text in each paragraph. In fact, I'd recommend having at least one or two dealing with other ideas. UNLESS your teacher wants you to use it, in which case, that's what you should do for your SAC. But for the exam, no, there's no requirement about constantly harking back to the text. Try to use it to propel yourself into more interesting territory- that's what the external examples are for.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Rod on August 25, 2014, 09:05:19 pm
Hey Lauren :)

Was wondering if you had any tips on how to effectively come up with your own ideas for text response. What I do is I use the study guides as a start point, to locate where I should be looking for ideas. And then I read the important scenes and try and come up with my own ideas using -what,who,where,when,why. It takes me really long and sometimes the ideas that come out aren't even that good.

Thanks!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: JackSonSmith on August 25, 2014, 09:30:29 pm
Hey Lauren :)

Was wondering if you had any tips on how to effectively come up with your own ideas for text response. What I do is I use the study guides as a start point, to locate where I should be looking for ideas. And then I read the important scenes and try and come up with my own ideas using -what,who,where,when,why. It takes me really long and sometimes the ideas that come out aren't even that good.

Thanks!

That happens to me too. I find that if one of my ideas doesn't quite stick, scrapping it and moving on can bring about new and better ideas. I know that crossing out some ideas might be difficult but what is born out of those ashes can soar high.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on August 25, 2014, 11:17:20 pm
You're definitely on the right track using study guides/ other resources as a foundation. Rather than who/what/when etc. it might be more helpful to ask questions with more direction. Beginning with 'Does this mean...' 'Is this always the case...' or 'How can I relate this to...' is probably more helpful.

'Coming up with ideas' doesn't really happen when you're just stroking your beard philosopher-style; going back to the text should always be your first resort.
Of course it can be difficult to develop ideas in a vacuum (ie. without a prompt to focus on) If you're still at the early stages of working through the text then linking your points to themes will suffice. For example, you might be finding a lot of examples in the text that relate to the concept of identity, class, change etc. Rather than just grouping these together, consider what specifically is being communicated about these themes. Is identity static? How can class boundaries be overcome? Will these changes always have the intended consequences, or can it sometimes be unpredictable?

Once you're able to answer these, you start moving into V&V territory. Prefacing your statements with 'The author suggests identity is a fluid concept...' then turns it into a more complex idea, and you'll already have the evidence to back it up.

Don't be too worried if you're not churning out revolutionary ideas right away (or at all :p) Trying to say something that no one else has ever thought of before is perhaps too extreme a task and may lead to you overreaching and making some tenuous links or claims. Rather, aim to communicate sophisticated, well developed ideas- if you're doing that then you're well and truly fulfilling the criteria. (eg. in the above example, the whole state knows that 'identity' is somehow important, but in terms of actually being able to comment on the core message, only the minority can do that well.)

Hope that helps :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Rod on August 25, 2014, 11:39:06 pm
You're definitely on the right track using study guides/ other resources as a foundation. Rather than who/what/when etc. it might be more helpful to ask questions with more direction. Beginning with 'Does this mean...' 'Is this always the case...' or 'How can I relate this to...' is probably more helpful.

'Coming up with ideas' doesn't really happen when you're just stroking your beard philosopher-style; going back to the text should always be your first resort.
Of course it can be difficult to develop ideas in a vacuum (ie. without a prompt to focus on) If you're still at the early stages of working through the text then linking your points to themes will suffice. For example, you might be finding a lot of examples in the text that relate to the concept of identity, class, change etc. Rather than just grouping these together, consider what specifically is being communicated about these themes. Is identity static? How can class boundaries be overcome? Will these changes always have the intended consequences, or can it sometimes be unpredictable?

Once you're able to answer these, you start moving into V&V territory. Prefacing your statements with 'The author suggests identity is a fluid concept...' then turns it into a more complex idea, and you'll already have the evidence to back it up.

Don't be too worried if you're not churning out revolutionary ideas right away (or at all :p) Trying to say something that no one else has ever thought of before is perhaps too extreme a task and may lead to you overreaching and making some tenuous links or claims. Rather, aim to communicate sophisticated, well developed ideas- if you're doing that then you're well and truly fulfilling the criteria. (eg. in the above example, the whole state knows that 'identity' is somehow important, but in terms of actually being able to comment on the core message, only the minority can do that well.)

Hope that helps :)
It does! Thank you so much :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: BucketPreacher on August 27, 2014, 06:36:58 pm
don't worry I got 15/20 from my teacher. boo. he said my interpretations were wrong and questioned if it was my work lol

So I'm about to post my entire essay ... If you don't have time to read it just let me know, don't feel obligated or anything! It's my first practice essay I've done all year, I probably spent an hour and a half doing it in total because I was searching for quotes as I don't know the poems well enough yet. I feel like I lost my way a bit in this poem as well but oh well!! I usually write about this much in an hour under sac conditions!


1.   Owen Describes war as a place where God and love have no place. Discuss.
In Wilfred Owen’s anthology of War Poems, Owen utilizes poems to transport his thoughts about the war, namely with regards to death and destruction. Owen underlines and condemns the belief in God and religion as only destructive to the person’s self, and forms idea that such ideologies should be banished from war. Owen also notices the absence of real love on the battlefield, in where it has no place except in the grimmest of times. Owen however, recognises the ubiquitous, all-pervading theme of destruction and horror in the war, being at the sole heart of war.

Owen portrays God as an omnipotent force that isn’t seemingly present nor accommodating for soldiers on the battlefield. Throughout Owen’s anthology of War Poems, Owen highlights the importance of God and religion for soldiers at war. In the poem At A Calvary Near the Ancre, Owen employs the literary device of bibliomancy, by juxtaposing the little indifference between God neglecting Jesus at his crucifixion and allowing the ‘soldiers’ to ‘los[e] limb[s ]’ in the war. God was neglecting his duty of overseeing those who ‘lay down their lives’ for ‘the greater love,’ which leads Owen to remain cynical towards the existence of God, being facetious, exclaiming that the soldiers  ‘do not hate’ God after their futile sacrificial deaths.  The ‘disciples’ or priests that Owen believed were at the war to comfort soldiers in times of misery were to ‘hide apart’ throughout the war, being accountable to no one. But multitudes of priests often ‘stroll[ed]’ with ‘pride’ knowing that they were ‘flesh-marked by the beast,’ which was detailed by Owen through his use of visual metaphoric language representing his loss of faith in God and religion, as these priests felt a form of prideful vanity with the finger-marks of Satan left on them, forcing God to drink the cup of fury and remain redundant as the overseer of the war. In Anthem for Doomed Youth, Owen also highlights not only the damaging existence of God during the war, but also the presence of religious thought. Religion and God provided hope for soldiers. Those who prayed ‘orisons’ to their own God’s were ineffectively in the midst of an apostrophe, or a one-sided conversation to the personified God. Whilst those with belief were praying, Owen relays that the ‘stuttering rifles, rapid rattle’ can ‘patter out’ those ‘hasty orisons,’ seeing religion as a false outlet of hope. ; in other words, Owen recognises the ‘futility[FUTILITY]’ of religion, as warfare will destroy any force in its path, and those with no religious value will continue the ‘drawing down of blinds,’ and each dawn attack the enemy. God has no physical presence on the battlefield, and like religion it ‘has no place’ as it only incurs disappointment and death, similarly to love.

Owen highlights the absence of pure love on the battlefield, but in the more dire moments such humanity is seen to return. Love is to take pleasure in doing something, or to feel great amounts of affection towards something. Owen focuses in Dulce et Decorum Est that ‘the old Lie’ is ‘Dulce et Decorum Est Pro Patria Mori’ which is translated to it is sweet and fitting to die for one’s country. Such a statement can create generational conflict, as ‘love’ and patriotism become interchangeable and can have ‘children ardent for some desperate glory,’ ready to be sent to war for the love of ones country. But upon arrival, this patriotic love ceases to exist. These sons arriving at the war with ‘such high zest’ soon become accompanied wit the true nature of war. Owen employs a nightmarish theme to the poem to emphasize not only the absence of love on the battlefield, but to explore its polar opposite. The language choices of Owen,’Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, curs[ing] through the sludge’ provides the reader with a metaphoric visual endeavor into the world of the speaker, displaying the alliteration of the ‘K’ sound, situating the reader into the speakers shoes, situating them into a nightmarish fog where sounds echo for lengthy periods. ‘Coughing like hags’ also provides the reader with a nightmare image, alluding to the ‘hags’ or witches in the universally renown Macbeth. Whilst the frightening environment limits the soldiers ability to love, Owen states that ‘men marches asleep.’ In essence, Owen attempts to say that the soldiers have lost the semblance of humanity and are reduced to ciphers, due to being desensitised to love and everything that makes them human, except for their march. Such an abnormality becomes the norm. Owen also attempts to illustrate to loss of love in the soldiers, saying that ‘all went lame; all blind.’ The parallel construction of the aforementioned quote emphasizes the misery and loss of love as a universal condition, and that nobody escapes the immediacy of battle drowning all other thoughts. No one. Owen condemns such patriotic love through the use of such vivid, harsh imagery, forcing the reader to witness the true nature of war. In the poem S.I.W (self-inflicted wound), Owen illustrates how parents would ‘rather [their sons] dead than in disgrace,’ denouncing such patriotic love into driving ‘half the seed of Europe’ towards their untimely demise. The soldiers were sent to war to defend their families honour, and in an attempt to transform unrequited love into two partied love through mother, father and son, and thus were wanting to be injured, and the ‘bullets missed’ were ‘teasing the hunger of his brain.’ Sons were going to war to be shot so the mother ‘would have a nice safe wound to nurse,’ rather than ‘death before dishonour.’ Owen challenges the ideology of such love through condemning the futile nature of love equating to death where the mother says ‘Tim (the soldier who died) died smiling,’ revealing the generational conflict between the reasons for war. In the poem ‘The Last Laugh,’ Owen reveals however that the soldiers dying in their last moments of life called out to their loved ones – ‘Jesus Christ,’ ‘Mother – Dad,’ and ‘My Love!’ were three examples. This truly exemplifies the nature of losing the components of love and burying them deep, to only return to the true human form to reveal all human emotion, especially love, in the final moments of life. Owen explicitly states that there is no room for love during wartime or it can be self-damaging to the human soul. But in the last moments of life, humans put their priorities in order and love is openly expressed. On the other hand, destruction, horror and death have a place in war.

The obliteration of everything is a common occurrence throughout a war, and exasperates horror into the souls of soldiers. In the poem, ‘Cramped in that Funneled Hole,’ Owen highlights the omnipresent destruction and horror of war. Owen attempts to position the reader in the shoes of the soldiers sitting in a ‘teeth of traps,’ a crater made through an artillery shell explosion. Owen employs the literary device of anthropomorphism in an attempt to ascribe human traits to the hole the soldiers are sitting in to provide the horrific, brutal imagery of soldiers being consumed and ‘swallowed’ by these ‘death jaws.’ Life and death is not in the control of these soldiers. Whilst some soldiers are still struggling and persevering for life, they watch as the ‘dead are smelt.’ Owen not only provides the reader with blunt imagery, but stipulates the reader with ‘a sour sharp odour’ that the soldiers could smell; such horror and destruction moved beyond just vision for these soldiers, and such horror and destruction was unexceptional during the war. In Dulce et Decorum Est, Owen stresses the commonality of the demolition of life. Men don’t just die simple deaths – men ‘gutter, chok[e] [and] drown’ in their deaths by a ‘green sea’ of ‘gas,’ for example. Men can be force fed death and destruction, where such horror remains a ‘helpless sight.’ Owen utilizes the aforementioned quote to provide the reader with a paradoxical image, as the speaker’s vision is perfectly normal, but sight in this case is a synecdoche, meaning that the speakers all-to-active sight becomes the problem. The permanently paved theme of death causes the destruction of many individuals in Owen’s time. Owen establishes that men lost components of humanity due to destruction when he says the ‘white eyes [were] writhing in his face,’ creating an image of a man losing the colour and humanity behind his eyes, or life, providing a metaphorical visual image. Owen purposefully provides the reader with this upfront imagery, but also personifies the eyes, making them seem like they are detached from the workings of the body, having lives of their own. Throughout the previously mentioned poems, Owen establishes that there is a place for the death, destruction and horror in the placement of war. BTW this is a repost for some reason moderators made deleted my comment and made a thread for it, but I wanted Lauren's feedback!  8)

 Throughout Wilfred Owen’s poems, he establishes that God and love can be the catalyst to the deaths of many on the battlefield, and objectifies to the belief in both, other than in their most pure form. Belief in God can provide soldiers with a false hope, which can be damaging to a persons heart, and can ultimately lead to their own demise. He remains sacrilegious towards God himself. Love is also expressed to be the catalyst for the death of many sons of Europe. Men died for the love of their country, or for the love of their families and Owen condemned such a futile reasoning for death and believed there was no place for it. On the other hand, Owen believed that death and destruction of the environment, the individual and the human soul was a necessity of war, ergo there will always be a place for the death of many at the heart of war.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: 24bauer12 on August 29, 2014, 06:54:08 pm
Hi Lauren,
How does one devise an idiosyncratic interpretation of Macbeth or another text?How do you incorporate language devices into a T.R?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: soNasty on September 01, 2014, 06:25:55 pm
Hi Lauren, would it be worthwhile to include aspects of McCarthyism and other factors in the 1950's within my text response for Twelve Angry Men?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on September 01, 2014, 08:58:09 pm
he said my interpretations were wrong

my interpretations were wrong

interpretations were wrong

interpretations were wrong

 :o


Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on September 01, 2014, 09:23:43 pm
BucketPreacher:
Your teacher is wrong and he should feel wrong. I can't really find any interpretational errors here based on my understanding of Owen's ouevre, but when teachers say 'your interpretation is wrong' what they usually mean is 'your interpretation is not my interpretation.' For the sake of your SACs you're usually better off catering to your teacher's whims, then in the exam you can go your own way (or at least, try to cater to the dominant reading of a text so as to appease as many assessors as possible.)
Also in future, please post entire essays on the English Work Submission and Marking board. If you want me to look over it you're free to send a PM :)

24bauer12:
An idiosyncratic reading of a Shakespeare text might be somewhat tricky seeing as there are entire institutions devoted to understanding the ol' bard. I suppose that should be your starting point though; once you've read into the text to the best of your abilities, read outside the text as well. I guarantee there will be no shortage of resources.
And you would comment on language devices just like any other piece of evidence, not too dissimilar from a Language Analysis. eg. 'Shakespeare's repeated use of polysyndeton implies a copiousness and culmination of the character's traits...'

soNasty:
Yes definitely. Don't get too far away from the text, but for Twelve Angry Men the historical and political context is quite important. I'd say it's safe to assume your assessors will know some general background info, thus referring to 'the influence of McCarthyism' or 'the dominant views in 1950s America' would be sufficient. My rough rule is never to be discussing things outside the text for more than one sentence at a time. Even if you're bringing in outside knowledge, try to incorporate it into a sentence like 'Rose utilises the conflict between Juror 3 and 11 to highlight...' or 'Thus, through this exploration of reasonable doubt, the audience is given greater insight into...'
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: yang_dong on September 04, 2014, 03:48:46 pm
Hi Lauren,

in regards to the book ransom is there any significance in the fact that  it is somax who suspects that Hermes in his disguise formed isn't 'a man like the rest of us'?

thank you
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: M_BONG on September 04, 2014, 04:08:15 pm
It's up to interpretation. Somax embodies the common man in Ransom - contrasted against Priam's royalty - and you could argue that this makes him more qualified, compared to Priam, to judge what it means to be like the 'rest of us'.

Somax's definition of a common man would be someone laid-back, a "twister of tales"  who fib in the local taverns, no real legacy, no real purpose etc and depending on your interpretation, you could analyse why it is important that he thinks Hermes is unlike him and the rest. Although (can't remember 100% - learned this in term 2) it is Priam that first recognises Hermes as the "god of the underworld"

So I don't think this event is as significant as the rest. However, if read together with Iris' message to Priam, it could be saying something about divine intervention/gods/kingship/chance/fate/causation (up to you - the beauty of Ransom is that the message you get from it is up to your interpretations).
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on September 04, 2014, 06:45:42 pm
^ +1, that pretty much covers it, cheers Zezima :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: yang_dong on September 05, 2014, 09:19:15 pm
thank you zezima!

just another quick question:
do the women in ransom show courage?

in a rather patriotic society, they bring men in and out of the world, but where in the text do they show courage? It feels like they don't?

Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on September 05, 2014, 09:31:31 pm
yang_dong:

Googling this stuff should always be your first resort. Ransom has been on the English lists for awhile, so there are a fair few resources out there.
Here's the first one that came up; it unpicks the role of different female characters and gives you some possible scenes to look analyse with regards to courage/power/agency etc.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: LiquidPaperz on September 05, 2014, 09:45:06 pm
Hi Lauren, Just wondering with comparative language analysis how you would structure it? and how you are meant to structure/what you are meant to talk about in the para about similarities and differences?

Our teacher hasnt explained it all too well, and any examples of these essays would be great if avaliable!

Thanks
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: M_BONG on September 05, 2014, 09:55:58 pm
thank you zezima!

just another quick question:
do the women in ransom show courage?

in a rather patriotic society, they bring men in and out of the world, but where in the text do they show courage? It feels like they don't?
Instead of giving you the answer, I will list you three scenes/things to look up, like Lauren suggested :)

1. The scene between Priam and Hecuba when Hecuba tries to dissuade Priam from going on the ransom.
Comment on the power imbalance between Priam and Hecuba. Does Hecuba show courage?
2. What does Malouf clearly say about the role of women?
Comment on the scene when Malouf talks about the importance of the woman's womb. Malouf also comments on how Achilles a demigod and Hector a strong warrior both come from the womb, staying there for "nine turns of the womb". How does that show the courage of women?
3. Look up Achilles's mother (the sea goddess). What does the quote "he knows his life will end here - in these treacherous shingles" signify? (Hint: the choice Achilles's mother gave to him).

Hope this helps.

Although, I have to say the role of women is minor in Ransom. Malouf focuses on common humanity rather than gender.

EDIT: I know this a thread by Lauren and people probably want her answers more than mine.. it's just that I love Ransom so much :P
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on September 05, 2014, 11:32:57 pm
LiquidPaperz:
Check the first post in this thread for an attached guide to structuring a Language Analysis. It's more of a general overview, but when it comes to multiple articles:
- don't compare at the expense of analysing
- let the spread of your analysis reflect the spread of the information (ie. don't waste a whole paragraph on a sinble blog comment or little cartoon; there should be one core text, spend most of your time dealing with that and use the others for contrasting contentions and techniques)
- rather than going through things chronologically, group your paragraphs by key players or ideas (search earlier posts for an explanation of this if you need) as this method will allow you to make the transition between pieces much easier.

I've also posted my responses earlier that were both comparative pieces, and most of the ones in the Sample Work Directory will have multiple articles too. The VCAA ones tend to be more straightforward, but they have been known to introduce comparative elements occasionally.


Zezima, it sounds like you know Ransom inside-out; your input is more than welcome!
Never apologize for loving your English texts  ;)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: LiquidPaperz on September 06, 2014, 10:37:58 am
Hey Lauren, just went through the 32 pages in this thread and couldnt find the comparative essay. I was wondering if you could please attach it or guide me to it. Thanks :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on September 06, 2014, 05:40:18 pm
Most of the samples are within the first few pages, here and here.
I'm in the process of reorganising this thread so things are easier to find, won't be long :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: LiquidPaperz on September 06, 2014, 06:23:53 pm
thanks for that :) are these ones comparative or just standard LAs? i couldnt find the other article you were comparing to.

Thanks
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on September 06, 2014, 07:23:48 pm
In both instances there's one core text, a visual or two, and some blog comments, each of which function as individual texts (with the exception of maybe some of the images.) Though you may have worked on comparing multiple texts for your SACs, VCAA have never/ are very very unlikely to give you more than one major text. Comparative tasks more often involve smaller texts (usually blog comments or letters to the editor) as contrasts to a key approach, and while you do get marks for discussing these different methods, ultimately your analytical skills are what counts.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: lucas.vang on September 07, 2014, 03:14:07 pm
Hi, I'm having trouble starting off paragraphs.. Its just normally the first few words.

Like I have my topic sentences and arguments but I just cant find the few words to make it flow.

For example:
I normally start off like this
Intro: Set against the backdrop....
Bodies:
In such a ..... society
Throughout the novel ...
Through characters..

Yeah pretty bad haha , please help
thankyou !!

Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: walkec on September 07, 2014, 05:50:44 pm
Hi Lauren,

I recently had parent teacher interviews and my English/Lit teacher says he feels as though I am doing better in English than in Lit. All year I feel as though I have been working really hard in English and haven't really been getting results that reflect my efforts a lot of the time. So I was wondering if you ever felt like this and how did you work through any periods of self-doubt?

I recently got my Wag the Dog SAC back too and it was my worse mark yet in English (40/50). I'm starting to doubt myself a bit with English - how do you get through these periods? I have another SAC next week for English on The Reluctant Fundamentalist
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: LiquidPaperz on September 07, 2014, 06:12:50 pm
Do you think a conclusion is needed in a comparative language analysis between two articles? if so what can i include, i 'literally' (see what i did their  ;) ) have no idea!!

Thanks
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: DJA on September 07, 2014, 08:02:36 pm
Do you think a conclusion is needed in a comparative language analysis between two articles? if so what can i include, i 'literally' (see what i did their  ;) ) have no idea!!

Thanks

 :o :o :o

there <3

Sorry couldn't help it........i swear I'm not this much of a dick irl
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on September 07, 2014, 09:09:57 pm
lucas.vang:
Those one's you've mentioned sound okay, but rather than getting caught up in the expression, try to work out what you're saying on a basic level. It's all well and good to use 'Set against the backdrop of...' because it sounds cool, but is it actually relevant? Are you addressing the historical/social context properly, or just mentioning it in passing? Either is okay, so long as you're aware that you won't get quite as much credit for the latter.
Some basic lists of conjunctions like 'Although,' 'Whilst,' 'Despite... nonetheless' 'Likewise,' 'Similiarly,' 'Contrarily' etc. might help get you started. (Check a thesaurus too if you find yourself overusing some.)

walkec:
I'll address these two issues separately, since effective study and maintaining self-confidence require different skillsets to deal with.
It can be really frustrating when you feel like your effort:results ratio is out of balance. When you say you've been working hard in English, what exactly does that mean for you? Perhaps there's been too much practice essay drilling and not enough exploring the texts/ideas? Or maybe you've been doing so many class activites on themes and workbook questions that you haven't had the chance to actually implement your knowledge?
What most of this comes down to though, is identifying where you're losing marks. At this stage of the year, it's crucial to know your weak spots, so go through your teacher's comments (if they're helpful) otherwise post some stuff on the Submissions thread for some alternate input. Let's assume you're getting 8/10 on your essays; there's a hell of a lot of different ways to lose 2 marks. A few of your ideas might be sketchy, your expression could be all over the place, etc. If you're making the same mistakes over an over again, then it might be more of a chore trying to fix an ingrained habit.
With regards to quelling the doubt-monster, positive thinking never goes astray. Some perspective can be useful to (English is notorious for messing with the marking system; a 40/50 sounds scarier than 8/10 :P) Also, numerical scores are often the best way to freak yourself out. Don't get me wrong, the feedback is important, but obsessing over numbers can get to your head. Instead, concentrate on what you got wrong, qualitatively speaking, ie. 'oh no, I had a wonky contention' as opposed to 'oh no, I lost 10 marks.'
Be aware that your abilities are constantly developing, unlike some subjects where you either know something or you don't, English relies more so on your capacity to continually better your understanding throughout the year.
So yeah, being aware of where you're at without stressing about it is the main thing. If you need help rationalising your approach or interpreting the feedback I'm happy to help with that too :)

LiquidPaperz:
As I've said in the L.A. guide, conclusions are structural requirements. Even though most of the marks are in the actual analysis, you still need a proper intro and concl. to appease the fussy assessors. Try to briefly sum up the contentions and comment on how language is used overall. Discussing how each piece ends can also be a nice way to conclude.

DJA,
Don't worry, I am like that irl. I can tell when people are using the wrong 'there/their/they're.' Even verbally. #superawesomeuselessEnglishpowers
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: walkec on September 07, 2014, 09:28:11 pm
walkec:
I'll address these two issues separately, since effective study and maintaining self-confidence require different skillsets to deal with.
It can be really frustrating when you feel like your effort:results ratio is out of balance. When you say you've been working hard in English, what exactly does that mean for you? Perhaps there's been too much practice essay drilling and not enough exploring the texts/ideas? Or maybe you've been doing so many class activites on themes and workbook questions that you haven't had the chance to actually implement your knowledge?
What most of this comes down to though, is identifying where you're losing marks. At this stage of the year, it's crucial to know your weak spots, so go through your teacher's comments (if they're helpful) otherwise post some stuff on the Submissions thread for some alternate input. Let's assume you're getting 8/10 on your essays; there's a hell of a lot of different ways to lose 2 marks. A few of your ideas might be sketchy, your expression could be all over the place, etc. If you're making the same mistakes over an over again, then it might be more of a chore trying to fix an ingrained habit.
With regards to quelling the doubt-monster, positive thinking never goes astray. Some perspective can be useful to (English is notorious for messing with the marking system; a 40/50 sounds scarier than 8/10 :P) Also, numerical scores are often the best way to freak yourself out. Don't get me wrong, the feedback is important, but obsessing over numbers can get to your head. Instead, concentrate on what you got wrong, qualitatively speaking, ie. 'oh no, I had a wonky contention' as opposed to 'oh no, I lost 10 marks.'
Be aware that your abilities are constantly developing, unlike some subjects where you either know something or you don't, English relies more so on your capacity to continually better your understanding throughout the year.
So yeah, being aware of where you're at without stressing about it is the main thing. If you need help rationalising your approach or interpreting the feedback I'm happy to help with that too :)

Everyone praise Lauren - she is so good at giving advice!
Thanks for your input. Over the weekend I've had a flick through some of my previous practice pieces and I think my weakness is clarity of expression under pressure. So I think I just need to practice more at this and including more subtle but still powerful examples in my writing  :)
In regard to bettering yourself, my teacher has this analogy for that with yoga. He started doing yoga this year and said his experience with yoga is like a Year 12 student's experience with English. You are getting better but you don't actually realise it. So I guess I should keep that advice and your words of wisdom in mind. Thanks  :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: scandin9 on September 09, 2014, 05:33:13 pm
Hi Lauren,
I have heard that VCAA sets each topic in such a way to allow for other, perhaps less obvious, interpretations and students who capitalise on this tend to do better.I am not sure what this means; can you clarify this? How would one use such an idiosyncratic interpretation for this question: "Lady Macbeth is the real villian in the play?
Thanks in advance! 
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on September 09, 2014, 11:37:25 pm
scandin9:

My understanding of the VCAA exam/T.R. prompt writing process is this:

Examiner 1: So, what should we focus on for this text (let's say Macbeth)
Examiner 2: Well, all the practice prompts we/other companies released focused on tyranny, madness, and relationship issues.
Examiner 3: And I've spoken to a bunch of teachers who're doing Macbeth this year. They say they've extensively covered madness, gender roles, and kingship.
Examiner 1: Let's make the prompt about supernatural forces and weather patterns.
Examiners 2/3: Agreed!
Examiner 1: Awesome, now let's go kick some puppies.

This pattern is always worse for texts towards the end of their 4 year cycle {consult this list for 2014 and this one for 2015.}
Also, something you may have noticed if you've gone through exam papers, there tends to be one character/structure based prompt, and one thematic/Views&Values style prompt. Not always(!) but most years/texts. This is kinda nice of them because it means you get to play to your strengths, whether you do better writing on the little details or the 'big picture' stuff.
But ultimately, VCAA are going out of their way to ask you something fresh and new in order to get a genuine response to the text and not a rote-learned answer regurgitated at them.

These 'idiosyncratic interpretations' you keep mentioning aren't exactly hard to come by, just keep questioning the prompt. For a text like this, so many responses will simply contend that either 'yep, Lady M is the villain and she does bad stuff like this...' or 'nah, she wasn't as bad as Macbeth/the Witches, or at least she was only one force contributing to the villainy.' Whilst it can be good to develop a more sophisticated reading, the people who argue this well and substantiate it with good evidence can still score really highly. VCAA don't expect you to totally revolutionize their understanding of the text in the hour that they give you, they just want you to demonstrate your relevant understanding in an engaging way.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: 24bauer12 on September 12, 2014, 12:02:01 pm
Hi Lauren,
How do you avoid talking about one character in your topic sentences for T.R?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Vermilliona on September 12, 2014, 12:23:52 pm
Stupid question, but will not referring directly to a quote that forms part of a prompt but referring to the moment/sentiment it conveys lose me many marks in an essay? Just did my last English SAC, and I think I managed a relatively complex discussion of the prompt, but forgot to put the quote from the prompt in and now am worried... But I did talk about the moment the quote was from, so maybe not all is lost?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: JackSonSmith on September 12, 2014, 09:21:34 pm
Hi Lauren,
How do you avoid talking about one character in your topic sentences for T.R?

I find that talking about ideas in my topic sentences helps me to avoid falling into the funnel of one character.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: walkec on September 13, 2014, 12:57:58 pm
Hi Lauren,

I have my SAC for The Reluctant Fundamentalist and this week it has become apparent that my weakness is opening paragraphs. What do you advise on doing/not doing in an opening paragraph?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on September 13, 2014, 10:53:02 pm
Hi Lauren,
How do you avoid talking about one character in your topic sentences for T.R?

This depends on the prompt and the text, but usually you can just restructure your sentence to focus more so on the author or broader themes. However, I don't see much of a problem with using a single character as an entry point for discussion; the danger is when you start of talking about one, then switch to another that doesn't explicitly relate to your topic sentence.
Not grouping paragraphs by character would be a start. Or if you are, try to use a couple at a time as points of comparison or contrast. For instance, if you have a prompt like 'No characters in this book are redeemable,' rather than just exploring them one at a time, group them thematically. eg. 1. characters that are completely irredeemable. 2. characters with many problematic qualities, but are nonetheless redeemable. 3. characters that are not only redeemable, but admirable.
After that, you should find your topic sentences become more general, even if the majority of your discussion centres on one character.

Stupid question, but will not referring directly to a quote that forms part of a prompt but referring to the moment/sentiment it conveys lose me many marks in an essay? Just did my last English SAC, and I think I managed a relatively complex discussion of the prompt, but forgot to put the quote from the prompt in and now am worried... But I did talk about the moment the quote was from, so maybe not all is lost?

Provided you've discussed the moment and sentiment, no it shouldn't. However, if your marker feels like this was only superficial then you can potentially lose marks for ignoring a portion of the prompt. But generally the ideas embedded within the quote and the question in the prompt will be very closely linked. For instance: ' “It seems an obvious thing to say, but you should not imagine that we Pakistanis are all potential terrorists, just as we should not imagine that you Americans are all undercover assassins.” Hamid's The Reluctant Fundamentalist suggests that prejudicial judgement can be incredibly damaging. Discuss.' Here you'll probably be looking at the idea of racial prejudice anyway, but incorporating the quote would still be highly recommended.
Occasionally the quote-based prompts can be a tad trickier though. eg. 'I am a lover of America.' To what extent is this true of Changez?' Here it would be a lot harder to ignore.
Either way, it sounds like you've addressed it in some capacity so you should be fine :)
Better to make these mistakes now than in the exam room.

Hi Lauren,
I have my SAC for The Reluctant Fundamentalist and this week it has become apparent that my weakness is opening paragraphs. What do you advise on doing/not doing in an opening paragraph?

What is it that makes your paragraphs 'weak' exactly? If it's an issue with your structure (ie. the para feels directionless or messy) then some more detailed planning might help order your ideas in a more logical way. Alternatively, if it's a problem with your ideas then some further dissection of the prompt should give you something more interesting to discuss.
Strangely most people seem to have problems with their last body paragraph because they feel they've run out of ideas or end up redundantly reiterating their points. I suppose you might be trying to tackle too much too early (eg. if you're structuring your paragraphs around themes, don't put something too big at the start if you feel like you need to build up to it.) For TRF I'd recommend leaving any comments on structure or narrative devices till later so that you have enough backing to justify closer analysis. Other than that, go through your paragraphs and work out what makes them good or bad. Is there too much summary? Not enough V&V? Too far away from the prompt, or too close and lacking sophistication? Expression? Vocab? Handwriting?
Now that you've found which part of your essay you need to improve upon, see if you can isolate exactly what needs improving :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on September 13, 2014, 11:31:19 pm
Also, friendly reminder that I've finally updated this thread and turned the first post into a proper directory.
Link in my sig if you need :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Paulrus on September 14, 2014, 12:11:16 am
hey lauren,
is it better to prepare both text response texts for the exam, or just stick with one?
i'm more familiar with war poems and i feel like i'd be able to write a better essay on it (particularly cos mabo is a pretty simple text). is it worth devoting less time to old wilfy and spending some time on mabo just in case i end up with some really nasty prompts, or should i just ignore mabo and try my best to prepare for anything they could possibly throw?

trying to work out how i should ration out my time with the exam coming up haha
thanks heaps!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: DJA on September 14, 2014, 11:36:43 am
Also, friendly reminder that I've finally updated this thread and turned the first post into a proper directory.
Link in my sig if you need :)

It's awesome!! Thank you - makes it so much easier to navigate haha :)

Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on September 14, 2014, 01:14:48 pm
hey lauren,
is it better to prepare both text response texts for the exam, or just stick with one?
i'm more familiar with war poems and i feel like i'd be able to write a better essay on it (particularly cos mabo is a pretty simple text). is it worth devoting less time to old wilfy and spending some time on mabo just in case i end up with some really nasty prompts, or should i just ignore mabo and try my best to prepare for anything they could possibly throw?

trying to work out how i should ration out my time with the exam coming up haha
thanks heaps!

I would highly highly recommend choosing one beforehand. You'll be wasting a lot of time studying for two texts if you know you won't be using one of them. In the end, you'll be preparing to such an extent that they won't be able to throw anything unmanageable at you; even the nasty prompts can be molded to suit your knowledge of the text. Also, if they are scary-looking, the whole state will be in the same boat trying to untangle the question, so preparing adequately beforehand can give you a huge advantage. To me, studying two just seems futile, so in most circumstances, streamlining your study will make everything a lot less strenuous.
I agree Mabo is a fairly surface-level text, though it can be made complex in your analysis. But having read your Wilfred Owen work I think that's definitely your strength.

Re: time rationing, I should be finished with the end-of-year-study-suggestions-guide-thing by tomorrow. I'll put a link to that below too. But the tl;dr version is basically know what you need to work on. I'll explain how to know and what do do once you know later :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Edward Elric on September 14, 2014, 03:48:02 pm
I would highly highly recommend choosing one beforehand. You'll be wasting a lot of time studying for two texts if you know you won't be using one of them. In the end, you'll be preparing to such an extent that they won't be able to throw anything unmanageable at you; even the nasty prompts can be molded to suit your knowledge of the text. Also, if they are scary-looking, the whole state will be in the same boat trying to untangle the question, so preparing adequately beforehand can give you a huge advantage. To me, studying two just seems futile, so in most circumstances, streamlining your study will make everything a lot less strenuous.
I agree Mabo is a fairly surface-level text, though it can be made complex in your analysis. But having read your Wilfred Owen work I think that's definitely your strength.

Re: time rationing, I should be finished with the end-of-year-study-suggestions-guide-thing by tomorrow. I'll put a link to that below too. But the tl;dr version is basically know what you need to work on. I'll explain how to know and what do do once you know later :)

Hey Lauren

And just expanding on Paulrus's question, is t better to write on a book that has been out for the past 3-4 years like A Christmas Carol or risk writing an essay on some of newer novels this year? I'm not quite sure as I heard this years questions of ACC will be really difficult due to it being its final year. Thanks
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: w3dragon25 on September 14, 2014, 05:18:37 pm
Hi Lauren,

For an introduction in text response, my tutor has always taught me to begin with a 'contextualising sentence', in which we discuss the background or setting or theme of the prompt before jumping into answering the prompt. As such, I was taught an intro would have roughly 5 sentences; one for contextualising, one to answer or challenge the prompt, one or two to list the ideas to be discussed in body paras, and lastly one to summarise up contention and overall intro. Do you believe this method is appropriate and effective for an introduction? Is it possible to avoid a 'contextualising sentence' and dive right into introducing the text and author? And finally, should we always list the ideas to be discussed separately or can we group them into one broader sentence?

Example of what I mean by contextualising sentence: "With the rise of Berlin Wall, the Stasi regime attained supremacy through communist ideals in East Germany. The consequential effects on its victims were so profound, they are still dealing with ramifications today..."

If otherwise, what do you recommend doing, other than jumping directly into "In her non-fiction narrative Stasiland, Anna Funder endeavours to expose the profound tragedies behind the Wall..."

Thank you in advance!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: walkec on September 14, 2014, 06:28:49 pm
Hey Lauren

And just expanding on Paulrus's question, is t better to write on a book that has been out for the past 3-4 years like A Christmas Carol or risk writing an essay on some of newer novels this year? I'm not quite sure as I heard this years questions of ACC will be really difficult due to it being its final year. Thanks

I was about to ask the same question - I'm leaning more towards The Reluctant Fundamentalist for the exam but I'm concerned about some of the possible prompts. My other option for text response is Stasiland, which I feel would require more work to get my analysis skills up to exam standard, mainly because I studied it in Unit 3.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: soNasty on September 14, 2014, 08:47:27 pm
Lauren, how would I utilise the writer's choice of audience and integrate that choice in my language analysis, to develop a stronger analysis of the piece? My teacher urges me to consider the audience and how it affects the language choices / overall tone and structure of pieces, as failing to recognise this is stopping me from getting the high 9's-10s in my practise analyses.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: yang_dong on September 14, 2014, 09:31:50 pm
thank you so much zezima!

your help is alot of help to me. I really appreciate it.

with your questions, how is the womb related to courage? I'm sorry i got te other questions but have no idea about that one?

and you know how you said malouf focuses on the common humanity? how does he do that through storytelling?

thank you so much!

Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: M_BONG on September 14, 2014, 10:21:45 pm
thank you so much zezima!

your help is alot of help to me. I really appreciate it.

with your questions, how is the womb related to courage? I'm sorry i got te other questions but have no idea about that one?

and you know how you said malouf focuses on the common humanity? how does he do that through storytelling?

thank you so much!
That's ok!! I have a trial exam on this tomorrow, so it's really good practice, lol :P
ROLE OF WOMEN
Here are some page numbers for you to look at:

"Till he too, like Hector, is in there. Naked as he began. Being turned this way then that in the hands of women." pg 196 (1)

"But the women’s presence is stronger than his own. This is their world." pg 193 (2)

" The work they do here is women’s work – common enough, they do it daily, but not for the eyes of men. " pg 194 (3)

I don't think the womb is explicitly related to courage, but rather I think the role of women is more "under the surface" or implicit so it's more of how you interpret it.

But consider the following. The most crucial part of the novel - the ransoming of Hector's body - is carried out by women. (Quotation 1). And the cleaning and ceremonial aspects of it is also (quotation 2) - also, this is "their world" signifies their importance.

You can argue that Ransom has a strong maternal aspect to it - the very first paragraph of the novel.

"for nine changes of the moon, he had hung curled in a dream of pre-existence and was rocked and comforted"

So here is what I meant by the womb. That the life of a warrior starts off from the womb - the nurturing, comforting side of a warrior's courage.


COMMON HUMANITY
How does story-telling convey common humanity? I think that is the bulk of the novel. If you read the excerpt (like after the story finishes) Malouf notes: "Its primary interest is in storytelling itself - why stories are told and why we need to hear them, how stories get changed in the telling". He notes that the "story of how Patroclus came to be the friend and companion of Achilles occupies only half a dozen lines in the Illiad".

Does that answer your question?

Malouf is sort of 're-spinning' the Illiad - an archaic epic where humanity doesn't exist. Malouf uses storytelling to re-tell this great epic and chooses to focus on a world where our actions and humanity, rather than the whims of the gods and fate, define us. So he's sort of saying we control our own fate, through our actions and how stories (sort of like a legacy thing) are told about us.

Here, you can think of Priam (a king)'s interaction with Somax (a commoner). The griddlecakes, the fish in the stream, the story of Beauty killing Somax's son etc. etc. It is the opening up of himself that allows Priam to break free of his aloof nature and "royal sphere" and starts to connect with others. And really, the act of ransoming his son (as a man, not a king) from Achilles signify this "common humanity".

There's A LOT more to say about storytelling and humanity, though. What I have given you is my own interpretations, you should find your own!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on September 14, 2014, 11:56:27 pm
Edward Elric & walkec:

Firstly, your own enjoyment will be way more influential in your study, and ultimately your mark, so trust your gut and pick the one you think you're strongest in.
Generally, texts in their 4th year tend to have more difficult prompts.
That's A Christmas Carol, The Reluctant Fundamentalist, Ransom, and Twelve Angry Men this year. This doesn't mean the prompts will be unmanageable though, and since you'll be putting so much effort into studying your chosen text, you should be able to cover all bases, or at least give yourself the best chance of thinking on your feet in the exam room.
However, this isn't always the case. Last year there were texts in their 2nd/3rd year that had some really tricky prompts, as has happened before too. It all depends who's writing them, so whilst there is a general pattern when it comes to increasing difficulty, don't rely on that as the basis for your decision.
I know a lot of people panic about how many people around the state are writing on their text, but honestly that shouldn't be a deciding factor either. Mostly, those texts are popular for a good reason; they tend to be easier to discuss. In the end, someone has to score a 10 for all of the texts and each prompt. If you're adequately prepared, there's no reason why that can't be you :)
Personally, I would recommend A Christmas Carol just because there's heaps to discuss there. And I find Reluctant Fundamentalist waaaay more interesting than Stasiland, but maybe that's just me. Always play to your strengths.

w3dragon25:
Contextualising sentences can be useful, but I think this example:
"With the rise of Berlin Wall, the Stasi regime attained supremacy through communist ideals in East Germany. The consequential effects on its victims were so profound, they are still dealing with ramifications today..."
seems a little too broad. Unless you're actually addressing the historical background for a good reason, I'd try to keep closer to the text.
"In her non-fiction narrative Stasiland, Anna Funder endeavours to expose the profound tragedies behind the Wall..."
This is a much better example. I'm aware that different teachers/tutors might prefer more context, but to me the broader sentences stick out as a bit rote-learned and irrelevant, whereas this second example seems like it's actually starting to engage with the prompt.

In terms of whether it's 'possible' to skip the contextualising sentences, yes, definitely. For certain prompts (eg. ones that aren't actually asking you to discuss views and values or anything) it's probably better to just start answering the prompt from the outset.

Lauren, how would I utilise the writer's choice of audience and integrate that choice in my language analysis, to develop a stronger analysis of the piece? My teacher urges me to consider the audience and how it affects the language choices / overall tone and structure of pieces, as failing to recognise this is stopping me from getting the high 9's-10s in my practise analyses.
Let's say there was an article on the advantages of skipping school :p If you were writing this article, you might be appealing to schoolchildren through colloquial language, common ground and encouraging independence, but if you were appealing to adults, you'd talk about the logical benefits or their duty as parents. Sometimes certain techniques are only relevant to a specific audience, therefore covering everybody with the one blanket term (audience/readers/viewers) can be a bit limiting. Not all readers will react the same way; perhaps the author is establishing a dichotomy between those who agree students are entitled to skip school, and those who think it should be a crime. The author can simultaneously praise institutions that allow optional attendance, and degrade those who dissent. So in your analysis you might write: 'This technique of ___ is particularly influential for an audience of parents who are more likely to feel a sense of parental obligation to do what's best for their child and give them the respite they need. On the other hand, younger members of the audience are encouraged to feel...'
You don't have to do this for every piece of analysis, but try to split the audience ~once a paragraph.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Yacoubb on September 15, 2014, 12:23:05 am
Hi literally lauren :-)

I'm planning on completing section C on the exam first, as I'll be using the 15 minutes of reading time strictly for reading the section C piece. What do you recommend doing in that time? Also, in regards to language analysis, did you synthesise some sort of plan prior to writing?

Your help is much appreciated!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on September 15, 2014, 10:56:10 pm
I'm planning on completing section C on the exam first, as I'll be using the 15 minutes of reading time strictly for reading the section C piece. What do you recommend doing in that time? Also, in regards to language analysis, did you synthesise some sort of plan prior to writing?

Since you can't annotate, or even mark the page, reading the text(s) at least twice is probably necessary. Skim-read once for comprehension, look for the important instances where the contention is made really obvious, and see if you can pick up any tonal shifts. Then the second time, read for persuasive devices. Look for the key appeals, try to bring the audience & context into it, and if you're doing the key player method, isolate the different key players you're going to address.
Beyond that, just try not to forget everything before writing time begins :)
There's not much you can plan for L.A. so developing your ability is the main thing you'll be working on. My only 'plan' was to integrate the visuals or other texts (though there weren't any on the'13 exam) early on in my piece so I didn't end up forgetting and tacking it on at the end.
There were a few techniques that I tried to memorise (bits and pieces from the Virtual Salt Handbook of Rhetorical Devices were interesting) but very few of them were applicable.
It's more about your general approach that you should be concerned with :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on September 15, 2014, 10:58:17 pm
Also, the SWOT-VAC/Term 3-4 Study Guide is now complete... sort of. I'll probably bulk up the Language Analysis section later when I'm not so drained.
But feel free to PM if you think there's anything major I've forgotten.
I'll post something here when I update the thing :)
Happy studying!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: walkec on September 17, 2014, 06:08:15 pm
Hi Lauren,

I just read the latest post by the VCE Study Guides website about how to choose your text for Section A of the exam. It suggested being more familiar with one text, but still having the other one at your disposal in case both topics completely throw you. What is your opinion on this suggestion?

I feel as though the likelihood of being thrown by both topics is unlikely, so I think I will still just prep for TRF but I'm still a bit uncertain!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: HHD on September 18, 2014, 06:59:52 am
Hey, Lauren

For L.A.,i can understand the textbook version of the effects of persuasive techniques on the audience. When i doing an article for L.A., i can only remember the effects from textbook and then write them in my essay (don't think about the article at all).
What should i do?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: hang__10 on September 21, 2014, 05:28:20 pm
Hey Lauren,

Love your work!! Just in regards to the context examples - I'm doing encountering conflict and am looking at gun control and social media. For gun control i've got stuff to say in comparing USA vs. Aus - but struggling to think of higher ideas. For social media I'm thinking about linking in with trolls but also unsure how to link back to conflict. Any ideas or suggestion of other topics? I've also used Ian Thorpe's coming out of the closet story as a link to conflict in how Thorpe has suffered under the social standard of detesting homosexuals but eradicates this conflict by being true to himself (revealing himself) - thoughts?

Thanks!!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jason12 on September 21, 2014, 07:10:08 pm
our school did a practice English exam and sent it to a vcaa assessor for marking. For language analysis, I got feedback saying I needed more overall focus on the context. What are some ways I can achieve this?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on September 22, 2014, 10:39:29 am
walkec:

I can understand wanting the security of having two texts up your sleeve, so by all means keep both in the air if you feel you can manage it, but ultimately you should be pretty secure in your primary text regardless of the prompts. Maybe have a think about what could potentially "throw you" and deal with those sort of questions now. eg. if you find structural questions difficult, or are stuped by the really broad V&V types. That way when VCAA try and throw you, you'll be able to bounce back and hit them with an amazing essay :)

HHD:

Try practicing a really small-scale analysis. Just take a paragraph or two from a news article or practice piece, and just write a short paragraph on that section, focusing in particular on the pattern of your analysis (Consult the first post in this thread for my recommended what-how-why thing.)And just consciously remind yourself not to define any of the techniques.
Specificity is key for L.A.
For example, if you wanted to discuss an author's use of rhetorical questioning, link it to the overall contention. Rather than simply stating 'the author uses a rhetorical question in order to make the readers question their views' actually provide the context; 'the author rhetorically questions whether anyone can "abide by this senseless waste of taxpayer dollars?" thereby prompting readers to concede their outrage at the squandering of their own money...'
Try to keep referencing the contention or sub-contention after most of your analyses, that should give you some direction.

hang__10:

Excellent segment on Aus/US gun control here. This particular discussion would suit a prompt about the repurcussions/lessons we learn from conflict, but I'm sure you could make it work for other types as well.
Re: social media, depending on what angle you were going for, you could look at the way trolls cause, or exacerbate conflicts (eg. the targeting of facebook RIP pages for recently deceased children that trolls post horrible messages all over.) Alternatively you could look at one of the many documentaries that attempt to get inside the mind of a troll, or just make some broader sociological comments about whether the internet creates or enables this behaviour - 'what came first: the troll or the opportunity?' Will people find an outlet no matter the medium, or is there something about the anonymity of the internet that lends itself to this kind of conflict?
With regards to Ian Thorpe, there's definitely a lot you can say about the portrayal of 'coming out' in the media. There are some people who would argue the making a big deal about celebrities' sexuality is actually somewhat harmful to individuals trying to come to terms with their own identities, but are convinced it's some sort of life-changing-newspaper-headline moment, and that a better reaction from the public would be 'oh. that's nice, I hop you find someone to be happy with,' not 'omg! I can't believe he's gay, what a surprise, he seemed so normal!'
^not my view, but you could argue it for essay purposes.
So I suppose this could link in with the idea of over-correcting conflicts, ie. sometimes the solutions we find can transform and perpetuate the conflict rather than lead to a proper resolution...?
Again, plenty of (opinionated) resources on this, so by all means find an interesting niche to discuss, just don't let the story get in the way of a good essay :)

Jason12:
Same advice as HHD, keep linking back to the contention a couple of times per para, and certainly at the end. The 'why' step of the what-how-why method (that is, why does the author want you to feel this way about the issue?) is quite critical here, and often neglected. You don't have to do this everytime; you can vary the pattern, especially if you were to combine techniques and lump them under the one umbrella like 'an appeal to fear' eg. what-why-what-how-what-why. So long as each of these elements are present and you're doing enough quoting and actual language analysis throughout, you should be fine.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Michael Scofield on September 22, 2014, 11:08:43 am
Hi Lauren,

For the language analysis component of the exam, is it always one article and a visual/s we need to analyse or do we sometimes need to do a comparative analysis with two different articles? Thanks!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: hang__10 on September 22, 2014, 11:27:11 am
Scofield:

Not always one article and a visual ... and it may appear in a different form than u think - e.g. 2011: blog + comments from general public
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Michael Scofield on September 22, 2014, 11:53:37 am
Scofield:

Not always one article and a visual ... and it may appear in a different form than u think - e.g. 2011: blog + comments from general public

Oh okay, but it will never be two full blogs we need to analyse right?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on September 22, 2014, 01:21:59 pm
You'll always have at least one article and at least one visual. The past few years (discounting the botched attempt that was 2011) the tendency is to give you one big article/speech and two visuals.
The 2011 experience and concurrent backlash has kind of scared them off doing multiple texts, but the study design doesn't prohibit it or anything. Personally, I doubt there would ever be two long, separate texts, but that's just my prediction. Keep your comparative skills up to scratch, but the formula they've been sticking to doesn't tend to require it.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jason12 on September 22, 2014, 09:27:24 pm
for context, is it okay to use a book from a previous study design as an external example (of course, keeping focus on the main text)?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jono_CP on September 22, 2014, 11:01:48 pm
Hi,

I do not have my original SAC essays, they are with my teacher and some have been thrown out due to stress and getting ready for exams (I put all my English things in one folder).

Can anyone refer me to high scoring essays do with In the Country of Men?

Thanks :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Yacoubb on September 23, 2014, 10:04:21 am
What is a good persona to adopt for a speech for context? I'm thinking a year 12 student conducting an oral presentation, but that's so cheesy... any ideas? I'm doing the context of Whose Reality? and drawing ideas from The Lot: In Words.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: BucketPreacher on September 23, 2014, 07:40:34 pm
Hey Lauren,

With your help throughout the year I've moved from 15/30 to 27/30 (for my text response), so thank you. Pretty stoked, although still pretty low in the cohort unfortunately due to lack of effort earlier in the year.

I was just wondering should I just know my texts for content/text well enough to apply to any prompt on the spot, or should I be practicing memorising ideas that are possibly applicable to the exam? With all my SACS I've had 6 prompts and 1 or 2 would be on it, so I've gone in memorising ideas for a few for the last few ones definitely knowing what would be on it.

Sorrry if this is confusing. :S

EDIT: Totally forgot one massive thing I wanted to ask about. With my essays I usually write a lot, and sometimes my first body paragraph can be as long as three pages, writing for 30 or so minutes. As I'm doing Wilfred Owen, we have been told that if we want to show evidence alongside our key ideas, we should name the poem and analyse that poem, rather than quoting from multiple poems so we can get down to the real grit of the poem. What I was wondering was, would it be OK for me to do three paragraphs of what I'm expected to do with deep analysis of poems, and then another poem focusing solely on ideas, quoting singularly without naming the poems these single quotes come from to show Owen's POV on a larger scale or something? Thanks!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: geminii on September 24, 2014, 05:26:06 pm
Hi Lauren,
Sorry, this is probably a really easy question but I'm not sure how to write this sentence. Is it:
"Do Zorina or her dad know about this tunnel?"
Or
"Does Zorina or her dad know about this tunnel?"

Thanks so much! :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on September 24, 2014, 07:38:02 pm
for context, is it okay to use a book from a previous study design as an external example (of course, keeping focus on the main text)?

Yes, but double check to see if it's on the current English or Literature study designs, else you run the risk of having all evidence pertaining to that text nullified (ie. they just cross out anything even remotely related and you'll probably drop a few marks)
But generally the books on the English lists are quite good examples to use when demonstrating themes or giving counter-examples, so you should be fine with any previous selections. It can also be a 'shot-cut' to the assessors, in that you can basically guarantee they've read Catcher in the Rye or Catch-22, whereas more esoteric examples require a bit more explanation.

Zeitgeist,
It's definitely worth consulting your school if you're in need of examples,s but there are plenty around on the internet if you just google them. Not all of these are VCE-related since ItCoM has only been on the list for two years (meaning there's only a year and a half's worth of resources available) but they should still help in some respect:
http://www.enotes.com/topics/in-the-country-of-men/critical-essays
http://www.cyberessays.com/lists/in-the-country-of-men/
http://www.studymode.com/essays/In-The-Country-Of-Men-Essay-1927214.html

This was quite a good breakdown of the essay writing process:
http://vceenglish14.wordpress.com/in-the-country-of-men/

And there's always the study guides if you can afford them:
http://www.tssm.com.au/browse-resourceitem-details/in-the-country-of-men-summary-notes-1034.aspx
https://www.insightpublications.com.au/shopexd.asp?id=1861

What is a good persona to adopt for a speech for context? I'm thinking a year 12 student conducting an oral presentation, but that's so cheesy... any ideas? I'm doing the context of Whose Reality? and drawing ideas from The Lot: In Words.

I'd advise against the 'Year 12 student coming to talk to you about context' since it can seem a tad lazy :p
If you're involving some sort of bigger issue then you could make it an address to parliament or some sort of committee eg. the reality of climate change, or the subjective realities that might dictate the views of a special interest group.
It depends how creative you're willing to get with the context, but given you're drawing on Leunig, you might consider some sort of social demonstration or presentation, ie. addressing a crowd of likeminded anti-materialist individuals.Or if you're subverting that idea, you can have a kind of context-less speech. Page 14-15 of teh 2011 Assessor's Report had a good example of this. Granted it was for id&b and in response to a poetry collection, but many of the themes are quite similar. This probably verges on a more creative angle, so I'm not sure what you'd prefer, but maybe experiment with different ends of the expository <---> imaginative spectrum to find what works best :)

I was just wondering should I just know my texts for content/text well enough to apply to any prompt on the spot, or should I be practicing memorising ideas that are possibly applicable to the exam? With all my SACS I've had 6 prompts and 1 or 2 would be on it, so I've gone in memorising ideas for a few for the last few ones definitely knowing what would be on it.

EDIT: Totally forgot one massive thing I wanted to ask about. With my essays I usually write a lot, and sometimes my first body paragraph can be as long as three pages, writing for 30 or so minutes. As I'm doing Wilfred Owen, we have been told that if we want to show evidence alongside our key ideas, we should name the poem and analyse that poem, rather than quoting from multiple poems so we can get down to the real grit of the poem. What I was wondering was, would it be OK for me to do three paragraphs of what I'm expected to do with deep analysis of poems, and then another poem focusing solely on ideas, quoting singularly without naming the poems these single quotes come from to show Owen's POV on a larger scale or something? Thanks!

Re: memorisation, this is kind of contentious amongst teachers and tutors. Personally I fall pretty definitively on the 'real learning'>rote learning side, but even I had a couple of key phrases and points that I would go out of my way to bring up where relevant. I think the trick is to have more ideas you're comfortable writing than could ever fit in one essay. Perhaps aim for at least 10 major points (whether they're characters, themes, devices or messages; each text will have a different balance) as this should provide a good sample space for you to draw upon. But be prepared to sacrifice some for the sake of relevance. An essay that contains a lot of unrefined, fresh ideas that clearly haven't been tested to death in practice essays will still score better, than a beautifully polished piece with little to nothing to do with the prompt, so relevance trumps finesse every time.
I'd say the piece you write in the exam should always be a totally unique thing, even if you've written on something similar in practice pieces. It's better to have your synapses firing in the exam room, constantly thinking and re-evaluating and re-configuring your knowledge than it is to rely upon what you know you can churn out. So although I acknowledge the safety blanket of memorisation can provide some comfort, ensure you're capable of moving away from it when necessary.

With regards to your T.R. para lengths, even with massive handwriting three pages would be too long, so try and cut down. I think the method you've outlined might be a little restrictive; it's better to meld ideas and examples (or more specifically, extract the ideas from the examples) rather than just mentioning both separately. The preferred method for poetry is usually to deal with about two poems per paragraph, so 6-8 total in your essay, with tangential references in passing to other pieces. To discuss other poems you won't have to provide a lot of detail, especially if you've referenced it already and can just refer back to it, eg. 'This same disdain for authoritarian falsehoods can be seen in Dulce's appropriation of propaganda...' instead of a very long-winded introduction preceding the quote, half a line should do.
The transitions are definitely trickier for poetry, but the same rules still apply, most importantly, you can assume your assessor has read the text and is sufgficiently familiar with it; your job is to elucidate the ideas relevant to the prompt and construct and argument, so don't feel you have to contextualise every quote or example too extensively.

And congratulations on the rapid mark rise by the way, you've earned it :)

AceVCE777:
If you're asking whether both Zorina and her dad know, then it's 'Do...' --> but in that case it should probably be 'Do Zorina and her dad know about the tunnel.'
But if you're asking whether Zorina knows, or her dad knows, but not both, then it's 'Does...'
Don't worry, I still get caught up in these weird grammar rules all the time. In most cases where pluralisation is confusing you, just separate into a simpler sentence and remove 'her dad;' would you say 'Do Zorina know about the tunnel' or 'Does Zorina know about the tunnel?' (note: this is assuming the second example from above where it's either Zorina or her dad as two separate agents.)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: quany1 on September 25, 2014, 10:29:11 am
hey lauren do you read context pieces? if so can you read mine and what you think about it?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: smile+energy on September 25, 2014, 03:47:46 pm
Hi, Lauren
Could you explain to me how can i explicitly show that the FLAP in a expository context piece without a written explanation?
And do you know any very good grammar books i can purchase? I wanna improve my expressions.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: AmericanBeauty on September 25, 2014, 05:36:28 pm
I was wondering if you could please read like the intro and first paragraph (unfinished I think) of my context piece. I haven't written on whose reality in quite a few months, and I'm starting to feel like I'm treading a thin line between exploring my ideas through the texts and retelling a story. If you could please let me know then I'd be really grateful.

‘Our fantasies can be more powerful than our reality.’

Fantasies can be used as a collective term to describe a person trying to escape their own reality y changing their identity. A fantasy enables humans to live out their greatest desires and momentarily change their reality. These great desires are usually enrooted in the personality of the individual from a young age, and are often on the forefront of impossible ambitions that a person wants. As a result, a fantasy is so powerful and surreal that a fantasy can outlive a persons reality. Most people want to eject from a reality to enter into a timeless utopian destination. Consequently, fantasies can be a truer representation of a person’s character and can reveal their aim of life.

While fantasies can bring momentary happiness to a person’s life, there is no escape from their true reality. In American Beauty, Lestern Burnham perfectly encapsulates a person trying to escape his life. Lester is a ‘whore for the advertising industry’ who has ‘a wife and daughter who hate me,’ and his level of happiness is almost non-existent. Lester has been battling the burden of upholding a positive appearance when his reality behind closed doors is nothing farther from the truth. That is until Lester decides to do ‘what [he] wants, whenever [he] wants’. Lester aimed to air his dirty laundry by quitting his job in which he detailed his job description as ‘once a day retiring to the men’s room to jerk off and fantasize about a life that doesn’t so closely resemble hell,’ and attempts to reveal the truth to the world about his marriage, stating that ‘our marriage is just for show. A commercial…’ When Lester was faced with the decision to follow societies rules, or stick by his own set of personal ideals and face the consequences, he chose the latter. Lester filled out a job application at ‘Mr Smiley’s’ for a job ‘with the least amount of responsibility possible,’ to relive his reminiscent years of ‘flipping burgers, parties and sex,’ and instigated an illegal affair with a teenage girl.  The affair truly provided light on the difference between people’s perception in life. Lester Burnham, a grown man, believes this girl, Angela, is the ‘most beautiful person [he’s] ever seen.’ Whilst this idea is built on the basis of a fabricated reality, Ricky Fitt’s believes Angela is ‘ugly’ and ‘totally ordinary.’ Angela believes her self-worth comes from her sexual appeal who believes ‘there is nothing worse than being ordinary,’ but Ricky tells Angela she’s ordinary and ‘she knows it.’ Angela has put on the appearance of being a sexed up, teenage girl, purely to live out a fantasy and escape her true identity of boredom. But Lester’s reality exposes that his perception puts Angela on a pedestal, stating that ‘[you] couldn’t be ordinary even if you tried].’
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on September 26, 2014, 11:52:30 am
smile+energy:

It should be clear that your piece has a form (eg. essay, speech) and is using a certain type of language.
Audience and purpose are a little trickier; for a normal essay you don't have to worry too much, but you should still have a clear and concise contention.
Re: grammar, there's plenty of resources online. Work out what mistakes you're making in your writing, eg. are you having trouble with tense, syntax, word order, run-on sentences? Then you should be able to just google 'run-on sentences tips' or 'how to fix run-on sentences' for some good advice.

AmericanBeauty:
Whilst the enthusiasm is admirable, there's an element of risk in writing on a text you enjoy. It can be of great benefit to your writing style, and the passion will come across to the reader, but the context task should always be your first priority, and recounting the story is a massive waste of time.
Fantasies can be used as a collective term to describe a person trying to escape their own reality y changing their identity. Avoid definitions, they're clunky and often unnecessary. A fantasy enables humans to live out their greatest desires and momentarily change their reality. These great desires are usually enrooted in the personality of the individual from a young age, and are often on the forefront of impossible ambitions that a person wants. As a result, a fantasy is so powerful and surreal that a fantasy can outlive a persons reality. Most people want to eject from a reality to enter into a timeless utopian destination. Consequently, fantasies can be a truer representation of a person’s character and can reveal their aim of life.
Aim for a smoother transition between paragraphs; these ideas don't really flow into one another.
While fantasies can bring momentary happiness to a person’s life, there is no escape from their true reality. In American Beauty, Lestern Burnham perfectly encapsulates a person trying to escape his life. Lester is a ‘whore for the advertising industry’ who has ‘a wife and daughter who hate me,’ and his level of happiness is almost non-existent. Lester has been battling the burden of upholding a positive appearance when his reality behind closed doors is nothing farther from the truth. That is until Lester decides to do ‘what [he] wants, whenever [he] wants’. Lester aimed to air his dirty laundry by quitting his job in which he detailed his job description as ‘once a day retiring to the men’s room to jerk off and fantasize about a life that doesn’t so closely resemble hell,’ and attempts to reveal the truth to the world about his marriage, stating that ‘our marriage is just for show. A commercial…’ When Lester was faced with the decision to follow societies rules, or stick by his own set of personal ideals and face the consequences, he chose the latter. Lester filled out a job application at ‘Mr Smiley’s’ for a job ‘with the least amount of responsibility possible,’ to relive his reminiscent years of ‘flipping burgers, parties and sex,’ and instigated an illegal affair with a teenage girl.  The affair truly provided light on the difference between people’s perception in life. Lester Burnham, a grown man, believes this girl, Angela, is the ‘most beautiful person [he’s] ever seen.’ Whilst this idea is built on the basis of a fabricated reality, Ricky Fitt’s believes Angela is ‘ugly’ and ‘totally ordinary.’ Angela believes her self-worth comes from her sexual appeal who believes ‘there is nothing worse than being ordinary,’ but Ricky tells Angela she’s ordinary and ‘she knows it.’ Angela has put on the appearance of being a sexed up, teenage girl, purely to live out a fantasy and escape her true identity of boredom. But Lester’s reality exposes that his perception puts Angela on a pedestal, stating that ‘[you] couldn’t be ordinary even if you tried].’ This is all summary. The links might be clear to you, but if you want to use this text you have to examine it through the lens of Whose Reality, not just treating it as though it's a Text Response task. Also, there's no real need to be quoting; only a few of these examples have any bearing on the context; most of them are just summing up the plot. Context is all about the general ideas, and although the little details can be helpful in propping up your argument, you need to be zooming out and looking at the bigger picture, especially at the end of your paragraphs.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: 24bauer12 on September 26, 2014, 10:19:01 pm
Hi Lauren,
Do we receive extra marks for only analysing esoteric techniques in language analysis? For example, is it okay to omit techniques like inclusive language, adjectives and alliteration for less common ones like hendidays, juxtapositions, polysendeton and hyperbole?Are examiners generally more impressed by rare techniques?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: M_BONG on September 26, 2014, 11:10:55 pm
Hi Lauren,
Do we receive extra marks for only analysing esoteric techniques in language analysis? For example, is it okay to omit techniques like inclusive language, adjectives and alliteration for less common ones like hendidays, juxtapositions, polysendeton and hyperbole?Are examiners generally more impressed by rare techniques?
Nah I was like that in Year 10/11 and believe me it doesn't pay off at all.

Don't use big words you don't understand or words that will make you sound like a douchebag.  Your examiners don't know you and if cram random techniques in you are not impressing anyone - even if you are using them validly. Plus listing or analysing techniques don't get you any marks. LA  does not involve knowing techniques or analysing them and when you strive to include the "most impressive technique" you run the risk of not doing any analysing. Hence "Language" analysis not "technique" analysis. You don't even have to mention any techniques at all to gain full marks (read the assesors' report) but it's advisable you list one or two for the pedantic examiners.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jono_CP on September 27, 2014, 01:24:57 am
Hi Lauren and anyone else who is willing to assist,

Do you recommend following the English Exam in chronological order (Text Response, Context, L. Analysis)?

I haven't really sorted out my preferences, so I am willing to listen to suggestions. At the moment, I am slightly favouring the chronological procedure.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: walkec on September 27, 2014, 08:38:13 am
Hi Lauren and anyone else who is willing to assist,

Do you recommend following the English Exam in chronological order (Text Response, Context, L. Analysis)?

I haven't really sorted out my preferences, so I am willing to listen to suggestions. At the moment, I am slightly favouring the chronological procedure.

My teacher suggested Section C, Section A, Section B. I tried this in my practice exam and I think it worked pretty well.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on September 27, 2014, 09:24:25 am
Hi Lauren,
Do we receive extra marks for only analysing esoteric techniques in language analysis? For example, is it okay to omit techniques like inclusive language, adjectives and alliteration for less common ones like hendidays, juxtapositions, polysendeton and hyperbole?Are examiners generally more impressed by rare techniques?

Technically you don't recieve any marks for simply mentioning techniques. I did start looking into some of the more 'esoteric' techniques, but I found the VCAA past papers didn't really lend themselves to any in particular. (Prolepsis and hyperphora were the only ones I ever found, though I'd say juxtapositioning and hyperbole are pretty common, depending on the issue/delivery.)
But let's take polysyndeton for example: could you actually say anything about that in context?
eg. 'We cannot let the government take away our privacy, and our lives, and our freedom.' Sure, you might notice the word 'and' is there, but what is it actually doing? It's rarely sufficient to give a definition or just say it emphasises the contention. Looking at how readers/audiences are affected, and why the author might do this is where the real marks are. Very little is devoted to simply identifying techniques. Though the assessors might get sick of reading all the low-scoring analyses to the tune of 'there is rhetorical questions, inclusive language, emotive language, and loaded language,' that's only because they're not analysing. If you get an article (like the 2010 or 2013 paper) in which inclusivity is a major component of their argument, then no, you shouldn't ignore that for the sake of finding something left-of-field. But it is okay not to point out every single rhetorical question
Also, as Zezima rightly said, there are some grumpy assessors who will resent having to google the words you're using. This shouldn't be a deterrent to developing a sophisticated vocabulary, but try to avoid making the vocab the focus; it's perfectly possible to score well in English without needing those sorts of words.
I would add: try to mention at least two technique per body paragraph, rather than just one or two overall. This was my arbitrary goal, but if you've got longer/shorter paras then by all means change it to suit you. I had a bad habit last year of just ignoring the techniques altogether and jumping straight into the analysis, which I got away with sometimes, but some assessors like to see obvious instances of where they can give you credit.

Hi Lauren and anyone else who is willing to assist,

Do you recommend following the English Exam in chronological order (Text Response, Context, L. Analysis)?

I haven't really sorted out my preferences, so I am willing to listen to suggestions. At the moment, I am slightly favouring the chronological procedure.

Hell no. I do not understand why anyone would recommend L.A. last. English is not meant to be done in order.
Here's how reading time will go: You'll open to the T.R. prompts, flick through and find your text (they're alphabetical, and in the same position as the VATE/Insight practice papers, so it should be easy to find.) You'll read over both carefully, chose one if there's an obviously more suitable one for, otherwise just let them churn over in your head and make a decision later. =Max 1 minute.
Then you'll go to the Context prompts, for which you won't have a choice. Read yours, think about how you'll make your ideas fit (expository) how you can adapt a situation (imaginative) or just focus on a clear, definitive contention (persuasive) = Max 1 minute, and that's assuming you spend quite a bit of time here; for most people in my exam hall it was about 20 seconds.
Then you'll turn to the Language Analysis. Read the heading, look at the visuals, read the first few lines and see if you can get a sense of where the contention is going. Then go back and read the background information in the little box on the previous page. Pay close attention to where the piece appeared/was spoken, and who the author & audience are. Then you'll spend the remaining 12-13 minutes reading and rereading the article. I'd recommend once for clarity and identifying arguments and tone, then once more closely looking for opportunities for connotative analysis and language-based discussion.
Frustratingly, you won't be able to write anything down, so the ideas that you're having in the first 10 minutes might not come back to you until a week later  :P Try to quickly retrace your thinking if you can, but otherwise just move along and see how much you can get done. Having spent the bulk of reading time on the L.A. pieces, it seems counter-intuitive to leave that for last (ie. after 2 hours) when your mind would be so ready for it first up. For the people who find L.A. easy, great, get it our of the way and maybe give yourself a few extra minutes for Sections A and B. For those who find it hard, it's not going to get any easier 2 hours later, so get it out of the way, then you'll know how much time you have to cut out of Sections A or B if you need it. I can't think of any reason for leaving L.A. till later, but if anyone has any, let me know, I'm curious :)
As to which comes next, I'd always planned to do the CAB order since T.R. is more of a formal essay and usually requires a proper structure for a high score, whilst Context can be shorter and summed up quicker, so if I ran out of time I figured I could re-jig Section B and just end on a high note, even if it meant compromising the content. However, for anyone who's looked at the 2013 exam, you'll know the Conflict prompt was a little bit... weird. It could be broken into something more manageable, but it freaked me out when I saw it, so I ended up tackling that one first because it was more of a chore. About two paragraphs in I realised how simple the core of the prompt was, and from then on it became a fairly easy write, so I spent a lot of that time on autopilot whilst brainstorming for my T.R. essay.
Moral of the story: be flexible. It's good to go into the exam with a plan, but be prepared to rework it when you're in there. The point of unseen content is to test how you'll think on your feet, so a response that has made the effort to engage with the prompt will always score better than someone who's stuck to a rigid format and pre-learned content.
The practice exams you complete / your school makes you do will be a good time to work out which order and approach suits you best.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: DJA on September 27, 2014, 09:41:02 am
...However, for anyone who's looked at the 2013 exam, you'll know the Conflict prompt was a little bit... weird. It could be broken into something more manageable, but it freaked me out when I saw it, so I ended up tackling that one first because it was more of a chore. About two paragraphs in I realised how simple the core of the prompt was, and from then on it became a fairly easy write, so I spent a lot of that time on autopilot whilst brainstorming for my T.R. essay...

I've looked at that prompt - the 'conflict of conscience can be just as difficult as conflict between people' - how ON EARTH did you manage to write well on that let alone realise how simple the core of it is? It's not a nice prompt in the slightest...

I'm struggling to think how I would structure an expository response around it..
Also a few questions:
1. How do you suggest preparing for an expository response right now before the exam? Going through examples? Memorising?
2. Isn't the 2013 prompt essentially a false dichotomy - saying conscience conflict = conflict between people in difficulty. What if you didn't agree with this - how would you go about writing a response then?
3. How did you argue that prompt in the end?

Thank you in advance!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on September 27, 2014, 10:29:11 am
'Conflict of conscience can be just as difficult as conflict between people'

Conflict of conscience = inner conflict (though I'll add complexity to this later)
Conflict between people = external conflict
∴ inner conflict = as difficult as = external conflict
Q.E.D.  :)

This is what VCAA does; the prompts are rarely inherently difficult, they're just presented in a way that flusters you, especially with regards to the wording they chose.
There is some variation here, for instance 'conflict of conscience' implies a dimension of morality, which you can link to decision making and the choices conflict presents us with. I'll admit this is a tricky one because it doesn't fall neatly into one of those response-cause-consequence-resolution categories, so whilst it definitely wasn't 'nice,' it was manageable.

1. Have a few tried and tested ideas/examples to use. I'd be aiming for about 7 you can discuss in a lot of depth, and at least 15 you can use as supplementary evidence. Depending on how much you've done throughout the year, you might be able to aim higher, but concentrate on depth as well as breadth. Then it's a matter of adaptation; can you make your ideas fit the prompts. This shouldn't involve sheer regurgitation, as even if the exam prompt is similar to one of your practice pieces, there will still be some sort of disparity that calls for a reworking (eg. the difference between 'conflict of conscience' and 'inner conflict,' which are similar, but not synonymous.) Certain examples will work better with certain prompt types and focal points, but you can usually twist a good one to make it work.
Practice pieces help, but covering as many prompts as possible and testing your adaption skills can take awhile, so occasionally practice paragraphs or plans are sufficient.

2. It's not suggesting conflicts of conscience = conflict b/n people, just that their difficulty is equivalent. So the 'core' of the prompt is essentially dealing with subjectivity. I found it easier to agree with this in the end, but it's certainly worth challenging:
- do conflicts b/n people have more profound consequences since more people are involved
- how do these two sorts of conflict relate to one another; can a. cause b. or vice versa?
- what makes a conflict difficult, do we ever account for the difficulty we put others through, or do we have a tendency to get caught up in our own struggles?
- can conflicts of conscience ever exist in a vacuum/ without other people?

3. pfft, idk. Well, apparently. Though I could have sworn I contradicted myself on occasion. My examples ended up fitting quite well, and my conclusion was solid, but my contention could be boiled down to 'Yep! Because everyone's different! And that's okay!' - though with better vocab and fewer exclamation marks. Generally speaking, how you argue things is just as, if not more important than wha tyou're arguing, and since a fair chunk of the context marking scheme is based on writing ability and expression, if you're writing a coherent interesting response, you should be fine in the end.

Point of interest: many people (either w/o dictionaries, or were too stupid to use them) interpreted this as 'conflict of consciousness,' and proceeded to write an essay about dreaming and comas, much to the assessors' amusement.
READ PROMPTS CAREFULLY. VCAA ARE (mostly) HORRIBLE PEOPLE TRYING TO TRICK YOU. BE AS METICULOUS AS THEM; BEAT THEM AT THEIR OWN MIND GAMES
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: esinnnn on September 27, 2014, 07:09:58 pm
Hi guys (don't know if I'm posting on the right spot)
Is there anyone here who is/has done Stasiland or Paradise Road (for expository) and would like to share some of their works?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: esinnnn on October 03, 2014, 01:02:32 pm
I'm terrible and language analysis.. and i'm keen for some advice? :s anyone? Here is something i wrote in an hour and a half (didn't finish conclusion) can someone please mark/grade it? would be much appreciated! thanks

With the prevalence of children becoming enclosed within their homes, fiddling with advancing technology, discussion resurfaced regarding whether more time should be spent outdoors. In response to this issue, Zan Smith has published an opinion piece “Beach lessons” in The Age. With a predominantly rational yet critical tone permeating throughout her piece, Smith contends to inspire and persuade readers, particularly parents, into taking the initiative to accompany and expose their children to the outdoors, instead of being caged in their homes and become susceptible to future health issues.
From the outset, Smith establishes that indoor entertainment -such as the “TV”- disables her children to a state of “inertia” where all “interaction” is lost. This sense of detachment from the real world is juxtaposed with a visual aid of a “screen” by which two young children are immersed in. With their body language in uniform –hands tucked into their laps- and their heads paralleled with one another, readers may feel alarmed for this is no ordinary “behaviour” of a child. Such a portrayal of lost interaction and activity may further serve as a reminder for readers -especially to parents- that their child could be in this state of “inertia” momentarily, eliciting a sense of guilt and discomfort within readers as they remain inaction. This feeling of guilt is further compounded by Smith’s alarming statics of the number of “hours” spent watching TV, and its association to “childhood obesity”. The word “obesity” may connect other thoughts of “implications” and diseases that could arise and be detrimental to the wellbeing of children, shifting reader’s prior feelings of guilt to one of distress. Consequently, as readers become more emotionally invested to this issue, they may also become more responsive to what the writer has to say and make an attempt to change their lifestyle for the greater good.
Smith continues to repudiate the validity of limiting “screen time” by listing activities that show to be “essential” to the children’s wellbeing. By contrasting the “senses” involved when fidgeting with a “glass screen” to one of building a sand castle on the beach, Smith endeavours for readers to recognise what is  “more important” for their children and hence become inspired to “engage” in outdoor activities. Similarly shifting to a less critical and more relaxed tone, the writer exemplifies the joyous and “reliev[ing]” experience with her “family” at the beach, with the diminishment of “arguments” and a transformation in her children’s behaviour. Such emphasis in the positive outcomes of outdoor activity may foster a sense of urgency amongst readers, to take their family out, as they may wish to experience this sensation themselves or simply break the vicious cycle their children is synced in.
The last visual serves to accentuate the writer’s claim of exciting new “senses” at the beach, for this time, the children’s body language is illustrated to be “active” and “content”; shown by their facial expressions, something we cannot see in the first image. The significant contrasts between the first and last image, may motivate readers to follow the footsteps of Smith. That is, readers may become enticed with the idea of children no longer “captivated by the screen” and ensnared in a state of “inertia” but stimulated by new senses of “touch” and “smell” whilst developing cognitive skills from digging and building. Additionally, these images may convey the notion that children who spending more time outdoors and less time indoors, will become more “content” and less “cranky”. Ultimately, this serves to engender acceptance from readers, towards the writer’s arguments, for it promotes a healthier and happier lifestyle, something in which all individuals strive to achieve.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: 24bauer12 on October 03, 2014, 09:12:32 pm
Hi Lauren,
How do you turn historical examples which are commonplace into sophisticated discussion?Are rare examples more conducive to sophisticated discussions? Also my teacher says that all the four contexts may be examined in a single context essay;how can this be accomplished?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on October 03, 2014, 09:32:00 pm
Hi Lauren,
How do you turn historical examples which are commonplace into sophisticated discussion?Are rare examples more conducive to sophisticated discussions? Also my teacher says that all the four contexts may be examined in a single context essay;how can this be accomplished?
Better questions would be:
a) Why would you want to fit all four contexts into one essay, and
b) How would this benefit you at all?

(Only half-playing)... Really though, think of what an essay is. A body of writing, intended to communicate, usually three paragraphs in VCE... Imagine trying to judge that essay as a whole when a student has tried cramming Imaginative Landscape, which they may not have ever thought about in any meaningful way (and who can blame them - what the hell is Imaginative Landscape?), and Identity and Belonging into the same essay. It will just look unnatural, mostly because it is.


I guess now that I've answered I'll give your original questions a shot.

Sophisticated discussion is sophisticated. Discuss something with sophistication, and you've got a sophisticated discussion - be in the Holocaust, the rate of dust gathering under your couch, or applied Japanese linguistics, if you're discussing it with sophistication you're in the clear. That being said, it would be hard to have an original, sophisticated critical analysis of some facet of the Holocaust in VCE (additional to the issues that Lauren has mentioned fifty times already). I guess the way to turn a commonplace example into sophisticated discussion is to be insightful. Say something meaningful. That's hard to do with commonplace things by definition of them being commonplace. In this way, I think 'rarer' examples probably are more conducive to sophisticated discussion. For one, you're probably more able to say something insifghtful about them, because if it's rare, it's probably original, and if it's original, you've probably made an insightful connection between that example and your discussion. Further, at least subconsciously, rarity will look more sophisticated. An examiner will be bored by the Holocaust, but if you mention like... state-sponsored terrorism in Nicaragua, which the examiner might not even know about, they're predisposed to be pleasantly surprised by the breath of fresh air that is your essay. Say something insightful about it. Bingo, we have a wiener.

So:

How do you turn historical examples which are commonplace into sophisticated discussion?
Say something insightful or meaningful.

Are rare examples more conducive to sophisticated discussions?
In my opinion, rare examples would tend towards that more than commonplace examples.

Also my teacher says that all the four contexts may be examined in a single context essay;how can this be accomplished?
With great confusion for your examiner.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 04, 2014, 12:08:23 am
esinnn:
Try posting on the English Work Submission and Marking board if you're looking to get feedback on your piece, this thread is more jsut for general questions.
Also, the English Work Examples Directory thread has some good examples of context pieces; they might not be on your specific texts, but they're good examples of structuring a piece. Otherwise, consulting your teacher/school might be the way to go.

Hi Lauren,
How do you turn historical examples which are commonplace into sophisticated discussion?Are rare examples more conducive to sophisticated discussions? Also my teacher says that all the four contexts may be examined in a single context essay;how can this be accomplished?

Rarer examples definitely lend themselves to more sophisticated discussion, though it's important to balance your mentioning of Nicaraguan terrorist funding with, say, Hitler. Where the first might be a welcome breath of fresh air, the second is a short cut to your assessor's mind; you don't need to clarify which Hitler, but you would need some background info on the fiscal policies of Nicaragua.
On top of what Brendan said often it's not about how 'impressive' you can make your examples sound (it is after all, a timed VCE essay; they don't expect you to revolutionize the way historians look at WWII) Being insightful is a much better goal than sounding sophisticated. A helpful question to ask yourself might be: why am I using this example? Beyond the fact that 'I memorised it and it fits' or 'my teacher told me to,' what does this example actually reveal about the context and the prompt?
Let's say you were looking at a prompt along the lines of 'The worst of humanity is revealed in conflict,' and you brought up the Boko Haram nutbags and all the people they've killed. Your reason for mentioning them (and your discussion in your paragraph) can't just be 'they did bad stuff, therefore sometimes conflict brings about bad things in people.' Not only does this lack sophistication, it lacks insight. A better analysis might examine the causes in more depth, or conduct some sort of analysis around the idea of a definitive 'worst' side of humanity.
This starts with your understanding of the prompt and its implications, so try and deconstruct it to find a more sophisticated contention than a standard 'yes' or 'no.'

Re: all four contexts, this is more of a weird quirk of the English curriculum than something you should be aiming to 'accomplish.' I suppose this can be seen in a couple of prompts, eg. 'Where we are defines who we are' (Id&b and IL) or 'Conflict occurs because people see the world differently' (C and WR)
But whilst the ideas may be linked, the way your discussion is conducted should be different, and you are in no way expected to tie in ideas from one to the other.
All this is likely to do is make your assessor think you didn't understand the task, so yeah there might be connections between the contexts, but that's just because they're all pretty vague, don't lose sleep over it :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: knightrider on October 06, 2014, 04:08:32 pm
How would you go about comparing more than one article,

For my coming sac we have to compare 3 articles.

How would you go about the structure of this? I am also told that one article is informative so how would i analyse this
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: yang_dong on October 06, 2014, 10:31:50 pm
'by default' - quote from the book Ransom by David Malouf, is that suggesting the actions of chance? My teacher says something about how that relates to chance, but i don't see it, I thought that if something is default, sin't it predetermined and already set? How is that chance? I was hoping to find a different interpretation to the 'by default' quote. Can someone please explain?

Context of the quote: Priam was made king only by default?

thanks in advance!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: walkec on October 07, 2014, 05:04:36 pm
Hi Lauren,

We got back our practice exams that we completed during the term break today. They were marked by two teachers who taught English at our school previously and overall, I was very happy with my marks.
However, with the feedback for Section C it said I need to comment on tone shifts more. I felt like with the article I got, the tone didn't really change dramatically and I didn't really have anything all that significant to say about tone. I have been told this year that it is best to not mention tone (or any language device) simply for the sake of naming it, because obviously the analysis of it is where the marks lie. So I didn't really comment on it in the practice exam and then today the other teacher is saying I need to comment on it more?

I had the teacher who marked the papers last year and she was very formulaic in the way she would teach us to structure our writing. It was a more "tick the boxes" sort of approach instead of analysis of all aspects of language.

What is your opinion of her advice? Do I have to analyse tone to meet the criteria?

Thanks  :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Rishi97 on October 07, 2014, 05:13:02 pm
Hey Lauren :)

I went to an English lecture last week and the lecturer said that for our context pieces, we should write a statement of intention.
Is this allowed? Will the examiners even read it?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 07, 2014, 05:32:14 pm
knightrider:
Refer to the original post in this thread, there are a bunch of recommendations there regarding structure. For informative articles, you can analyse the way they inform. Rarely will they give you something that is just a factual account of what happened, most schools pick articles that skew the issue somewhat, or at least present facts in a certain way. Also, consider how a rational, balanced tone affects readers; this is a technique in and of itself.
You'll probably have to contrast this with more 'opinionated' pieces anyway, but the key player method outlined in one of the earlier posts should assist with the grouping of paragraphs etc.

yang_dong:
'by default' does not necessarily mean 'by chance,' but it may introduce the idea of chance/freewill/fate into your discussion. You might want to consult your teacher for full clarification, but the fact that Priam was king 'by default' ie. automatically, means that not he, nor anyone else had a say in the matter. I suppose there is some element of chance or randomness in the idea of an autocracy; the leader is simply born, he does not achieve the position through merit. But that doesn't seem to be a primary concern here. The quote relates to chance, but isn't really an example of it.

walkec:
I had a bit of trouble with this too regarding 'ticking the boxes' and how necessary it was to state a technique, or point to the tone really obviously, so I'll repeat the advice given to me: 'Whilst teachers like her might not be right, they do exist, and you have to account for that.'
English is inherently subjective, and whilst they try to take this into consideration when marking, that doesn't eliminate the problem entirely. There are teachers out there who look for certain key words in your analysis, and even count up the amount of times you mention a device or comment on a tonal shift as a major criterion for the mark they give. They might be in the minority, but they do exist.
Tone is a tricky one, because for 5 years the Assessor's Reports reminded people to comment on the tone more often, then in 2013 we were told
Quote
It was clear that many teachers emphasise tone. While understanding the tone of a piece and the potential for it shifting as a piece unfolds shows insight into the piece, it is still only one small aspect of analysis. Students should be thoughtful about how they describe the tone, and should not simply pluck words from a memorised list.
I would say your approach of not commenting on tone unless it's relevant is a much more appropriate one; however, it's still important to give those picky assessors opportunity to give you marks, so if you fine the piece isn't overly emphatic or vitriolic, just comment on a few instances here and there in order to make the (arbitrary) quota.
Also, the VCAA articles* tend to have clearly delineated tonal shifts twice or three times a piece, so you should be able to pick out the points where they want you to comment on it.

*Except 2011, which had 100 tonal shifts and was an exercise in sadism  :D

Rish97:
Hmm, haven't heard that one before. Short answer: no. Long answer: Hell no, this is a waste of your time, the assessors won't read it, and it'll probably piss them off more because they'll think you haven't understood the task. I have no idea why they would say this. It's required for the SACs, but the examiners just skip it in the exam, even if you're writing creatively and wanted to clarify your ideas. The challenge of the exam piece, at least for imaginative/hybrid writers, is to make your ideas clear whilst still maintaining a solid storyline and writerly voice.
So I guess it's "allowed" in the same way that you're "allowed" to write a statement of intention for your Language Analysis too, but you won't get any credit for it :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Cort on October 07, 2014, 10:08:22 pm
Hi Lauren,

One of my biggest problems with Context right now is that I struggle to give my expository writing substance/hard evidence. I can write out abstract ideas and relate to why individuals might react that way, but everytime I try to think of what evidence to ground it in reality, I'm braindead. I realise that this is a very late question, but I've only noticed this problem right now -- and this feeling as been happening to me throughout all my context sac. is there any last minute suggestions you can get my out of my predicament?

Thanks.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Bestie on October 08, 2014, 12:13:20 pm
hi lauren,

We did a practice exam over the holidays and we got our results back. I got 7, 8 and 7.5, where do you think I would be sitting study score wise? and I hope you dont mind me asking, but what do you get to get 50? (if you dont have to answer that bit!)

thank you
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Random_Acts_of_Kindness on October 08, 2014, 02:20:00 pm
Hi Lauren,

Wow, the quality of this thread is exceptional, I would pay good money for this. So much more worth than my tutor.

So I just wanted to say thanks and comment on the wonderful contribution you have made to my VCE life, and I am sure, that of many others. ;D
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Valyria on October 08, 2014, 03:13:50 pm
Hey Lauren,

How did you go about analysing tone shifts? Right now, I can only skim the surface of a reasonable tone, the author employs a reasonable tone to convey their impartial stance on the [issue]. Even then, I feel as though I'm not analysing the tone sufficiently, should I include how the tone shift positions readers/incites a reaction from readers?

Secondly, what percentage of an expository essay in the form of a newspaper article, should be supplementary evidence and textual evidence (novel studied during the year)?

Would you recommend ending the conclusion of a text response with a quote in the format of, "(Author) confronts readers with the underlying message that (theme that can be applied to the real world) as stated by (character), (quote)"?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: magneto on October 08, 2014, 04:34:44 pm
hey lauren,
i know this probably sounds like a really stupid question: but...
what are the pros of having a plan b?
im trying to write an inspirational piece for the younger year levels at my school :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: katiesaliba on October 08, 2014, 08:06:46 pm
Hey Lauren,

What advice do you give for writing practice context pieces? Should I be writing them under timed conditions even if my ideas aren't completely developed as of yet? Or, should I practise dissecting prompts and formulating ideas prior to writing under timed conditions? I struggle most with my ideas for context :\

Thanks!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 08, 2014, 09:00:37 pm
Cort,
It's by no means too late to try and fix these problems; in fact it's not until this stage of the year, once you're through learning all the content, that a lot of people finally get the change to fine-tune their approach. I'd say as a starting point, if you're making a claim in your abstract discussion, let's say, 'Conflict isn't always obvious to us, sometimes it's hidden under the surface and manifests itself in the form of unspoken tension or reticence.' Your first step should be to ask yourself 'how do I know?' Eventually this should force you into coming up with some sort of evidence-based justification, ie. 'well, you can see this sort of tension when a relationship deteriorates; the couple hit that point where they realise they have little to say to one another, and from there a chasm begins to form between them, gradually being filled up with all the little 'niggles' they have about one another, but never quite boiling over onto the surface. Such was the case on the most recent season of The Bachelor in which a love that was meant to last forever between the contestant and the 'winner' only ended up lasting mere weeks.' An interesting article by the Guardian discussed this in relation to our current reality TV landscapes.
No matter how silly or mundane you think your evidence might be, there's always a way to link it in. Keep questioning yourself, and you should be able to come up with some options.
Alternatively you could go about this from the opposite end and just look through random wikipedia/news articles until something piques your interest. Start with your set text and work out; the context books and films were chosen because of their relation to bigger ideas, so see if you can use them to propel you into other territory.

Bestie:
Study score predictions really aren't my forte; there's a thread for that. It's so dependent on rankings anyway, and you can always perform better in the exam than you do on practice pieces. I'm really not even comfortable predicting because I have very little understanding of the system, and I wouldn't want to shatter your self-esteem, or give you a false sense of security.
If you're asking what I got score-wise, I couldn't tell you. Our school was notoriously secretive, we only ever got rough bandwidths (eg. Very High, High, Medium etc.) If you're asking study-wise what it took, I put all thoughts of numerical scores out of my head and concentrated on what I knew I had control over :)

Random_Acts_of_Kindness:
Why thank you, kind ma'am; glad to be of use. Best of luck for your exams :)

Valyria:
Vocab is a good place to start; are you not discussing other tones because they're not there, or because you don't have the language to deal with them? Because for most texts (certainly the VCAA/Practice Papers) there will definitely be some key tones to analyse. The vocab sheet on the first page on this thread has a tone sheet attached if you need a place to start. It becomes a lot easier to deal with tonal shifts when you can recognise and categorise more than one :p
Yes, you can deal with how this influences the readers too, but don't overdo it. Likewise with the above post regarding how often to mention tone, you don't want to underdo it and not receive credit, but you also don't want to be cramming adverbs like 'emphatically' and 'aggressively' into every second sentence. Make the occasional passing reference,  then maybe analyse it once or twice if there's a major emphasis or a clearly provocative shift.

magneto:
As in... having a plan b for not getting the SS/ATAR you want? I suppose you could say something about how some things are just out of your control, and you don't want to have all your eggs in one basket, so to speak, only to be left with a sub-par score, for whatever reason, and have nowhere to go. Having a backup plan isn't defeatist, it's just pragmatic forward planning.
I assume that's what you're talking about, correct me if I'm wrong?

katiesaliba:
A little of both. If you are writing times pieces, there's no sense just stopping when you get to one hour, so continue writing and just use a different colour, or mark the place on the page that you're going overtime for. That should help you work out where you need to cut down (eg. 30 minutes spend on body paragraph 2, so not enough time for a conclusion --> start making that shorter, or break it in two.)
On the other hand, and this is quite unique to context, often practice paragraphs are sufficient. If you're trialing new ideas and examples, implementing them should only take a paragraph or two, so perhaps try some untimed versions and then see if you can reapply/rework those them into a different prompt under time later.
Also, try and be specific with your self-criticism. 'Struggling with ideas' doesn't really help you much; do you find it tricky to think of points to discuss, or arguments that you can base around these? Or is it a problem with using examples and evidence? Or is it a general problem with articulation - 'knowing what to say but not how to say it'? It's great that you're evaluating your capabilities and weaknesses, but the more closely you target the latter, the easier it will be to fix your mistakes :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jason12 on October 08, 2014, 10:21:03 pm
Do you have any tips on how to meet the 9-10 range VCAA criteria? My teacher says to try looking for language that not many other people would mention. Is that it? My vocabulary and sentence flow is supposed to be good but I tend to focus on language that most people would mention. However, If I don't include them will I be missing out on the main/important parts of the article and end up being too specific?


Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: knightrider on October 09, 2014, 12:07:56 am
How do you reckon we should be writing essays

When it gets around exam time Lauren were you hand writing your essays or typing them up.
Which one do you think you should be doing?
How did you find the balance and were you mainly typing or handwriting.
Also did you time your self when you wrote essays before your sacs.
When did you begin to start timing yourself during the year.
What ways do you think is the best ways in which to utilize your teachers
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 09, 2014, 10:08:11 am
Jason12:
Ah yes, VCAA criteria... let's see...
  • Shows a perceptive and sophisticated understanding of a range of ways in which the written and
    visual language positions readers in the context presented.
This is code for 'has understood the task and done what you're supposed to do  properly.' The 'range of ways' emphasises the importance of breadth in analysis, but 'perceptive and sophisticated' discussion can only happen when you allow yourself enough depth, so balance is important. I'd say try and go outside the boundaries if you're only dealing with 'safe' language, or the most obvious techniques. Whilst esoteric stuff isn't enough to earn you marks on its own, it can be enough to bump you up higher if you're doing everything else well. And although the assessors are reading hundreds of essays all based on the same material, if you look hard enough, chances are you'll find something that few other people have considered. Don't stress if this doesn't happen immediately, but try and look at things from another perspective in order to secure a higher mark.
  • Develops a cogent, controlled and well-substantiated analysis using precise and effective language
    and expression.
Translation: 'student can do English good.' This is as much about metalanguage as it is about general sentence expression. If anything, probably more the latter; vocab enhances a piece, but syntax is the bread-and-butter. If your sentences are messy and unworkable then you won't be able to get credit for whatever analysis you've done. If you're only making small mistakes here and there, it's not a big deal and the assessors are quite forgiving of your writing quality under test-conditions, but you don't want to risk annoying them, so keep an eye out for your common pitfalls (eg. run-on sentences, wrong conjunctions, etc.)
Rather than aiming for VCAA's criteria, I'd recommend working out what, specifically, you're doing wrong at the moment. It'll be way easier to work out how to improve, and you'll probably notice your marks rising once you start fine tuning your approach.



knightrider:
At this point, handwritten ones are probably best. I can understand the appeal of typing, but if you're worried about time in the exam, you should definitely get used to how it feels writing for three hours, because it can take its toll on your hand.
I was handwriting essays all year and only ever typed up a couple I had to send to my teacher over the holidays, but that's mainly because I'm a messy typist than for any tactical reason :p
Not all of my pieces were timed though. I had a job in year 12 and was usually working from 4-9 or later, so I had to squeeze in study in all the in between hours. Most pieces were one's I'd start brainstorming on the bus/train in the morning, write the bulk of during study periods at school, and then finalise after work before bed. Everyone's different though; I knew people who would have to just sit down and block out the world for one or two hours in order to get through practice pieces. Find what works best for you, but I would recommend handwriting at this stage of the year to get used to the conditions.

Time-wise, it probably wasn't until late Term 4, just before SWOT-VAC that I felt comfortable writing an essay in under an hour. I'd done it before, but was never happy with the quality, so I worried more about the content right up until the exam. Again, everyone's different though, and I know what some people struggle with is physically writing that many words in that short a time period, so depending on your weaknesses it might be worth starting to time yourself now for the sake of getting comfortable.
What ways do you think is the best ways in which to utilize your teachers
Getting feedback will be your primary concern, though this will depend on the quality of your teacher's marking. Some just give you a score and some brief comments, others highlight your essay extensively looking for anything you can fix. Either way, there is definitely something to be learned from someone else reading your work.
Beyond that, teachers can also be great soundboards for your ideas and interpretations, though most will have at least 30 students to deal with, so don't take up too much of their time :) Just organising a time to sit down with your teacher and discuss certain characters in your Section A text, or going through a context prompt and discussing the different ideas you might use can be very beneficial.
Of course I'm aware that not all teachers are open to this, and in some instances you want to take what they say with a grain of salt, since everyone has their biases. In general though, teachers can be great study tools if they're willing to help. If not, you can always use your peers (and/or AN) to help clarify this sort of stuff :)

Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: DJA on October 09, 2014, 07:39:33 pm
What is the best way to prepare for the context part of the exam? For conflict?

Other than having a bank of good textual moments to draw upon?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on October 09, 2014, 07:43:43 pm
What is the best way to prepare for the context part of the exam? For conflict?

Other than having a bank of good textual moments to draw upon?
Philosophyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Historrrryyyyyyyyyy. (For anyone whose interested - could be relevant to Identity and Belonging or Conflict - think of the way that Australian history/culture is actually defined by war/conflict. WW1 directly after Federation, WW2 in our historical young adulthood if not adolescence, the overshadowing of the Cold War/Nuclear threat... You could make a case that concepts of mateship, giving, honesty and all the other good "Aussie" things are a product of conflict... You could also make the opposite case, that we're a bunch of conservative scaredy-cat racists because of our warring history!)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 09, 2014, 09:35:08 pm
What is the best way to prepare for the context part of the exam? For conflict?

Other than having a bank of good textual moments to draw upon?

The strength (and breadth) of your examples is the main thing at this point. Unless you struggle with expression, (which isn't an issue for you) then it's pretty much just a matter of developing the most foolproof repository of evidence to wow your assessors.

Along with philo and history, lit. and sociology offer quite a bit to discuss too. I'm told the assessors are particularly fond of generalisable examples; interdisciplinary stuff that combines an abstract theory, a historical event, a fictional representation, and a contemporary event, for instance.
The amount/depth you go into with these can fluctuate; you could combine anywhere between two and seven within a few sentences or an entire essay.

And as usual, stuff you're interested in will usually be more interesting for an assessor to read. So provided you're discussing things in a sufficiently sophisticated manner, you should be fine :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jono_CP on October 09, 2014, 09:51:15 pm
Hi Lauren,

For language analysis, do you recommend going through and possibly rote-learning a few of the intended effects for persuasive techniques which do not actually relate to an actual analysis of an article? Or, is it more centred around the article, in terms of the intended effect for the reader? Can another term be used instead of the 'reader', or is this a commonly accepted convention?

Thanks :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 09, 2014, 10:53:17 pm
For language analysis, do you recommend going through and possibly rote-learning a few of the intended effects for persuasive techniques which do not actually relate to an actual analysis of an article? Or, is it more centred around the article, in terms of the intended effect for the reader? Can another term be used instead of the 'reader', or is this a commonly accepted convention?
You should 'memorise' them in the sense that you should understand what the techniques do, generally. But when it comes to writing the actual analysis, it always pays to be more specific. Sentences like 'The author's use of rhetorical questioning prompts readers to reexamine their own beliefs regarding the issue, and thus be more susceptible to the author's contention' are basically worthless. Spitting out definitions won't earn you much, but commenting on how it affects certain readers is definitely preferable. (Background info is especially important here, don't just reference it in the intro and leave it alone. If it's a presentation to a bunch of scientists at a professional conference as opposed to a collection of housewives at bookclub, how are the techniques going to be different?)

'Audience' is a good alternative to 'readers,' though be careful as VCAA have used speeches in the past, so 'listeners' or 'audience members' was needed there. 'Audience works for most things,' just like 'text' works for books, plays, films, poetry, etc.
The assessors are quite forgiving of repetition in L.A. provided it's not too overblown. They know there's an element of formula application involved, so don't worry if it feels like the word 'readers' comes up again and again. That's probably a good thing.
If you're using it thrice a sentence though, then you might need to get creative with the pronouns and sentence structure :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: yang_dong on October 10, 2014, 11:24:59 am
Hi Lauren,
I'm writing an essay on David Malouf's Ransom: Ransom focuses on the masculine world. There is only a minor role for the feminine. Discuss.
Is it possible to make the assumption that gossiping/chattering (which Somax does... strange how Malouf is using a guy that does the gossiping despite the fact that I'm contending that its something rather girly... is there significance in that?) is a very feminine trait. Becasue it helps Priam to discover his inner ordinary human, suggests that there is an important role for the feminine in the novel?

thank you
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on October 10, 2014, 12:35:14 pm
Lauren is officially Facebook Famous........ lol. https://www.facebook.com/atarnotes
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 10, 2014, 02:07:01 pm
(http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view/760779/carlton-dance-o.gif)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 10, 2014, 02:13:06 pm
Also, yang_dong,
That interpretation might be alright for a couple of lines, but you don't want a major argument in your essay hinging on the fact that gossiping is 'girly' :p
A good tip for Ransom: consider what happens in the absence of women --> violence, carnage, war etc.
There's a helpful sheet here
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: bts on October 10, 2014, 05:58:02 pm
Hey lauren do you have any advice for me: a 2015 vce graduate ;) thank you  youre a real inspiration! Helping everyone :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: kandinsky on October 10, 2014, 06:04:28 pm
Also, yang_dong,
That interpretation might be alright for a couple of lines, but you don't want a major argument in your essay hinging on the fact that gossiping is 'girly' :p
A good tip for Ransom: consider what happens in the absence of women --> violence, carnage, war etc.
There's a helpful sheet here

Can't believe Malouf got away with that book...

I have enough troubles with translations of the Iliad...but Ransom is just an unoriginal and BAD/unpoetic retelling of Homer.

Why not just put the Iliad on the VCE English curriculum? That would be AWESOME!

:)



Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 10, 2014, 06:23:32 pm
bts:
There's some general stuff in previous pages about studying in year 11 and things to know before year 12. Check the first post in this thread for links.
Other than that, just having a good understanding of the format of exams and SACs should save you a lot of stress next year. And of course, reading your texts as early as possible can be very beneficial. If you're already familiar with Context then it might even be worth developing some examples and ideas for you to use next year, but don't panic if you're not at this stage yet; I certainly wasn't. Each school goes about Year 11 in a different way, so just be aware of your abilities and weaknesses and you should be in for a cruisey year :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 10, 2014, 06:28:46 pm
Can't believe Malouf got away with that book...

I have enough troubles with translations of the Iliad...but Ransom is just an unoriginal and BAD/unpoetic retelling of Homer.

Why not just put the Iliad on the VCE English curriculum? That would be AWESOME!

:)

Better yet, just make everyone write essays in Ancient Greek!
inb4 VCAA actually issues that as a challenge

I have seen some rather cruel Ransom prompts about the interpretive choices and creative licence Malouf took with his retelling which, whilst prompting some strongly-worded responses from the lit. nerds, would actually be near impossible for the majority of the state who haven't read The Iliad.

But I agree, if I were in charge the whole text list would be nothing but classics, and generations of year 12s would be furiously burning me in effigy for years  ;D
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: kandinsky on October 10, 2014, 07:10:41 pm
Better yet, just make everyone write essays in Ancient Greek!
inb4 VCAA actually issues that as a challenge

I have seen some rather cruel Ransom prompts about the interpretive choices and creative licence Malouf took with his retelling which, whilst prompting some strongly-worded responses from the lit. nerds, would actually be near impossible for the majority of the state who haven't read The Iliad.

But I agree, if I were in charge the whole text list would be nothing but classics, and generations of year 12s would be furiously burning me in effigy for years  ;D

 ;) Bring on the cruel prompts!

Other texts  I want to see on the curriculum: War and Peace (lol have fun reading all 1200 pages!), The Good Soldier (dat unreliable narrator...), and...Narnia? (I don't know, judging from some of the present texts Narnia would be a step up in terms of intellectual level!)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 10, 2014, 07:23:05 pm
Here's hoping the 2016 onwards Study Design will have some better texts, especially for the new comparative section.
It'd be great to write about the similarities and differences in Harry Potter and Narnia, or Sherlock Holmes and Edwin Drood.
So many opportunities!

Why don't we just write our own syllabus?
Alterna-VCE: Twice the fun with none of the valid, tertiary-recognised qualifications!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: DJA on October 10, 2014, 08:51:54 pm
;) Bring on the cruel prompts!

Other texts  I want to see on the curriculum: War and Peace (lol have fun reading all 1200 pages!), The Good Soldier (dat unreliable narrator...), and...Narnia? (I don't know, judging from some of the present texts Narnia would be a step up in terms of intellectual level!)

Seconded!! It would be death but fun.

lol is that even possible

Narnia would also be awesome
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: kandinsky on October 10, 2014, 09:55:22 pm

Narnia...it would actually have enough 'profound' themes for discussion too. Like all the semi-Manicheistic imagery, the idea of virtue, the internal religious 'quest', the metaphysical vs physical world. Then there's all the historical context of War back in England. Omg! It would a great text.

And Aslan of course, the christ-like-resurrected-entity. And the symbolism of the lion-like soul.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: DJA on October 10, 2014, 09:58:49 pm
Narnia...it would actually have enough 'profound' themes for discussion too. Like all the semi-Manicheistic imagery, the idea of virtue, the internal religious 'quest', the metaphysical vs physical world. Then there's all the historical context of War back in England. Omg! It would a great text.

And Aslan of course, the christ-like-resurrected-entity. And the symbolism of the lion-like soul.

So much love ;D
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: 24bauer12 on October 11, 2014, 05:29:21 pm
Hi Lauren,
If a text response prompt  has a quote as part of the question, is it compulsory to mention it in the essay?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 11, 2014, 05:43:18 pm
Hi Lauren,
If a text response prompt  has a quote as part of the question, is it compulsory to mention it in the essay?
Yes, definitely.
Often it makes up a third, or even half of the prompt. You don't have to keep refering back to it in the same way as you would a regular question/statement based prompt, but the assessors have chosen that excerpt for a reason; try to use it to inform your discussion.
In terms of direct analysis, mentioning it in the first paragraph or two would be ideal, so that it doesn't feel tacked on at the end.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: mnewin on October 11, 2014, 08:18:08 pm
Hi lauren,
i took a look at your sample 2014 exam,for the prompt "Owen's message of loss and absence are more confronting than his gory imagery. Do you agree?" i was stuck at the message of absence, im not too sure about this and am struggling to link it to the poems or themes i learnt. I can't see much connection between absence and Owen's poems... any help is appreciated.  :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 11, 2014, 10:40:37 pm
It's not so much about the absence in the poems, it's more about the message of absence. (Minor shift, but consider absence as a theme/V&V and not just as a structure of the poems.) I'll only list a couple of things here to get you started, but the primary concern would be the absence of a generation (ie. the fact that so many went to war) which most of his work explores in some way. You also have the absence within a person; the absence of emotions and sanity seen in his later PTSD-centric poems. At a stretch you might even consider the absence of morality in sending young men to war, though this is more abstract.
If you can find evidence of loss, you should be able to find absence. After all, once you've lost something, you're left with an absence, right? So how does this come across in the poems; what is lost, exactly?

As I've said a couple of times, this is how VCAA will often try and trick you. By throwing out a word like 'absence' that you haven't seen, dealt with, or even considered before, they're hoping to separate the people who can only deal with a few themes from those who are capable of using what they've learned and reformulating it to suit a different discussion :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: yang_dong on October 12, 2014, 02:54:22 pm
I have difficulty expanding my interruptations:
"women are scavenging for battle relics where the men have fallen''
suggests that women clean up after men, but I can't really form an argument or contention from that... i dunno what else I can infer from this about the role of women? maloufs ransom?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: vizard12 on October 12, 2014, 07:17:30 pm
Was wondering if you had any good recourses for Wuthering Heights?
Thanks
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: kandinsky on October 12, 2014, 08:30:23 pm
Was wondering if you had any good recourses for Wuthering Heights?
Thanks

Here's a (somewhat motley) collection of journal article ideas about Wuthering Heights.

Hope it helps a bit.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: katiesaliba on October 13, 2014, 07:02:04 pm
Hi Lauren,

I struggle with context because I can never seem to find substantial arguments or really just conceptualise the prompt. I'm fine with text response and LA because the ideas raised are more obvious, but context is just too vague for my liking. Every time I write a context piece, my ideas either diverge too much from the prompt or they're too boring. I'm struggling to find inspiration, I suppose. Articulation of ideas just doesn't come naturally for context  :-\ It's frustrating because my other two pieces are normally fairly apt too! My writing style is analytical and cynical, so I prefer expository or persuasive pieces. I find writing persuasively more refreshing, but I just lack the ideas... I don't understand how I can be so incompetent in one style! I really want to tie historical examples into my piece, but I'm not sure how to coherently get examples of medieval prejudice to relate to 1950s western society! Also, is referencing Disney okay? Thank you :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Yacoubb on October 15, 2014, 10:07:03 am
This is really for anyone doing The Lot: In Words for context, but does anyone know of any articles that delves into the concept of fantasy in the book? I can't seem to find out and I'm trying to write a fantasy piece, it's driving me insane.

Thanks :-)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: AmericanBeauty on October 15, 2014, 04:29:58 pm
Hi Lauren,

I'm really terrible at Language Analysis and haven't really started studying it because I don't know where to start. I read your explanation but I'm just don't have the apt for it.

Do you have 3-4 paragraphs which are surrounding 3-4 ideas. You are identifying what techniques have been used by the author in attempting to persuade the audience about the issue, and whether it is calling for a change in behaviour on the readers behalf? Then if there is more than one text, you contrast the ideas among the different texts and saying how each is attempting to persuade the audience. Is that about it?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: j_820 on October 15, 2014, 07:39:16 pm
Hey Lauren,
I was wondering if it would be useful to take Literature with English?
Do the two subjects ever overlap? Or would taking two English subjects be too confusing (so is it easy to mistake the writing style of one subject with the writing style for the other)?
Thank you in advance!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: walkec on October 15, 2014, 08:10:24 pm
Hey Lauren,
I was wondering if it would be useful to take Literature with English?
Do the two subjects ever overlap? Or would taking two English subjects be too confusing (so is it easy to mistake the writing style of one subject with the writing style for the other)?
Thank you in advance!

As someone who takes both, I would strongly advise doing so  :)
I really feel like the skills from Literature have helped me score very well in English this year.
It can be a lot of work doing both at once, but I really think it does pay off in the long run.
The writing styles in Literature are very different to English, so I don't think it is easy to get the two mixed up.

Literature is looking more at the specifics of language but English is doing this but also on a broader scale too.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 16, 2014, 01:48:30 pm
I struggle with context because I can never seem to find substantial arguments or really just conceptualise the prompt. I'm fine with text response and LA because the ideas raised are more obvious, but context is just too vague for my liking. Every time I write a context piece, my ideas either diverge too much from the prompt or they're too boring. I'm struggling to find inspiration, I suppose. Articulation of ideas just doesn't come naturally for context  :-\ It's frustrating because my other two pieces are normally fairly apt too! My writing style is analytical and cynical, so I prefer expository or persuasive pieces. I find writing persuasively more refreshing, but I just lack the ideas... I don't understand how I can be so incompetent in one style! I really want to tie historical examples into my piece, but I'm not sure how to coherently get examples of medieval prejudice to relate to 1950s western society! Also, is referencing Disney okay? Thank you :)
You can be relatively analytical in context, you just have to find way to do what suits you while still fulfilling the criteria. The somewhat sloppy analogy I've been using recently is that each paragraph is like an upside down McDonald's 'M.' Or any upside down M for that matter... or a W...
Anyway: when you start your paragraph, you're dealing with abstract (prompt-related) ideas. As always, there are exceptions; I occasionally liked to mess with things and throw in a snappy example to kick things off, then worked back around to the meaning and the context, but we'll deal with the general rule for now, then you can experiment as you see fit. Then gradually, you 'zoom-in' to a specific instance that demonstrates your point. This is the first 'dip' in the arch and the amount of highly-specific information you include should be pretty low. After this, you start zooming back out again and extrapolating a 'point' that will form the mid-point. This won't be as general as the starts and ends of your paragraphs, but it'll form a good connection between your examples.
Note: not every paragraph has to have two, some can have one, some can have 5, but again, this is just a basic format.
Zoom in again to a connecting idea, and then begin the process of drawing a 'big-picture' conclusion from your entire discusion thusfar.
Also note: I've picked 'M'/'W' as an example and not 'O.' While your points are returning to the same level/height, it's not coming back to exactly the same place. There should be some sense of progression in your piece, it's not as simple as
Conflict occurs when people are afraid. --> This can be seen when >character< did >action< and said >words.< Therefore we can conclude that conflict happens when people are afraid.
Instead try:
Conflict occurs when people are afraid. --> Fear is a major motivator for mankind.  --> It often dictates our actions in the heat of the moment. --> This can be seen as far back as medieval society when ...example --> That's not to say this is a concept confined to the annals of history, in fact such events have a modern day parallel in ...example --> But in each of these cases, upon retrospective reflection, people were able to admit their mistakes. --> Therefore, without fear restricting our capacity for logical and/or compassionate thought, we may even be capable of conquering a conflict.
These are all really generalisable, and of course you'd be cleverer in unpacking the prompt and clarifying key terms. In general though, so long as your examples are relevant and have clear connections to your discussion, anything goes, even Disney. Just be careful not to assume Beauty and the Beast is a waterproof indictment of the universal human condition; some sort of disclaimer about the fact that it's a fictional representation of emotion might be necessary :)

This is really for anyone doing The Lot: In Words for context, but does anyone know of any articles that delves into the concept of fantasy in the book? I can't seem to find out and I'm trying to write a fantasy piece, it's driving me insane.
There's a cool article from Leunig here if you just need a starting point to launch into a wider discussion of fantasy. Otherwise, you might just have to latch onto an idea in the text and construct your own fantasy around it, making connections as you go.

I'm really terrible at Language Analysis and haven't really started studying it because I don't know where to start. I read your explanation but I'm just don't have the apt for it.

Do you have 3-4 paragraphs which are surrounding 3-4 ideas. You are identifying what techniques have been used by the author in attempting to persuade the audience about the issue, and whether it is calling for a change in behaviour on the readers behalf? Then if there is more than one text, you contrast the ideas among the different texts and saying how each is attempting to persuade the audience. Is that about it?
Go through the L.A. links at the start of this thread, there are a variety of breakdowns in response to questions asked previously.

I was wondering if it would be useful to take Literature with English?
Do the two subjects ever overlap? Or would taking two English subjects be too confusing (so is it easy to mistake the writing style of one subject with the writing style for the other)?
In my experience, Lit helps with English, but it doesn't work the other way. There's a much higher standard required in Lit. and the way you analyse passages is a hell of a lot more detailed than a standard language analysis. It's fairly easy to keep the styles separate since the essay formats are pretty different. If you're in Year 10 at the moment then I would strongly advise picking up Lit because the new English course (class of '16 and beyond) is much closer to the current Lit. design than the current English one.
There's no huge advantage, but the general consensus is that Lit is way more enjoyable for the literarily (?) inclined than English, so let your interests guide your subject selection more than any possible advantage in combinations :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: magneto on October 16, 2014, 08:20:47 pm
what's that word that sort says: the bad times in life? learn to live on?

like it is inevitable in life to experience these bad times, but we just have to learn to live on?


thank you
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: walkec on October 16, 2014, 08:29:02 pm
what's that word that sort says: the bad times in life? learn to live on?

like it is inevitable in life to experience these bad times, but we just have to learn to live on?


thank you

persevere?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Saikyo on October 16, 2014, 11:30:28 pm
Hi Lauren,

I'm really terrible at Language Analysis and haven't really started studying it because I don't know where to start. I read your explanation but I'm just don't have the apt for it.

Do you have 3-4 paragraphs which are surrounding 3-4 ideas. You are identifying what techniques have been used by the author in attempting to persuade the audience about the issue, and whether it is calling for a change in behaviour on the readers behalf? Then if there is more than one text, you contrast the ideas among the different texts and saying how each is attempting to persuade the audience. Is that about it?

The main thing you should talk about in Language analysis is to analyse how the writer positions the readers in getting a reaction or response out of the issue and contention of the piece; prominently through persuasive techniques and appeals that sway them to agree/support the author's point of view. A simple example is when a reader sees statistics in an opinion piece that supports the author's view that is from a credible source; ask yourself why would they be convinced by this? How does the use of a credible source such (Australian bureau of statistics) make the arguements by the author seem valid to the reader. This is probably the hardest part of language analysis since you need to be a bit creative in having yourself be "in their shoes" of the reader when reading the article. If you can pull this off then it's not hard to pull off a good score. However, what separates the best students is they avoid listing "generic" intended effects like "the author would feel sad, angry, etc." and they mention more on within the context of the actual issue.

Also important to use what I like to call "QAI" method (helps me remember how to structure body paragraphs) which is Quote which is embedding examples from piece, Analyse the persuasive technique and then Intended effect as I explained above.

I'm sure other very good english students in this forum have a better way to do this :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Gutthi on October 16, 2014, 11:42:56 pm
Hey Guys, I saw that this is a thread for English Queries. I am really uncomfortable writing Section C Analysis and I would like your feedback on it. (It is at SECTION C FEEDBACK PLEASE (NEW ONE JUST POSTED AT THE END - UNMARKED)    (The last one) )

I know that I have requested for feedback on this piece quite often, however please feel free to give me feedback and check my essay whenever you are free. I only wanted to put it out there so that more people know that it is there for marking.

Again, I am really sorry for having asked so many volunteers (also through pm) for marking this, however, the quicker I can get feedback, the quicker I hope to work on it. I hope you understand me :)

I am just really stuffed for this section specially, because our Teachers are very busy marking other essays, and they can't get to everyone on time, so I thought I should also post it here so that anyone who is available can give me feedback on it.

Thankyou everyone :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Blondie21 on October 17, 2014, 09:07:29 pm
Hey Lauren - or anyone - I know that you probably haven't studied this text but does my intro sound like it links to the essay topic??

“The male characters in Harwood’s poetry embody all the attributes that Harwood finds contemptible”

Gwen Harwood, one of Australia’s finest poets, delves into a range of subjects as she experiments with voice and play of language which is often underpinned with satirical wit. Harwood castigates both genders through her poetry as she believes they are both equally responsible for the deplorable aspects of modern day. However, despite the strong feministic core of her poetry, Harwood recognises that men exemplify attributes that she herself advocates. Despite such intentions, it can be seen that Harwood collates a critical response in regard to the chasm that divides the worlds of men and women, with her sympathies resting with the female population.

Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: 24bauer12 on October 17, 2014, 10:03:30 pm
“The male characters in Harwood’s poetry embody all the attributes that Harwood finds contemptible”

Gwen Harwood, one of Australia’s finest poets,This is probably not the best way to add an element of the author's historical background into the introduction. Instead, it may be more prudent to consider societal zeitgeists and whether the text acts as a social commentary. Consider if the poetry is a commentary about the subservience of woman.  delves into a range of subjects as she experiments with voice and play of language which is often underpinned with satirical wit.It is good that you are providing information pertaining to the language style of the poetry. :) Harwood castigates both genders through her poetry as she believes they are both equally responsible for the deplorable aspects of modern day society You may want to be more specific and more concise. However, despite the strong feministic core of her poetry, Harwood recognises that men exemplify attributes that she herself advocates.It is good that you are challenging the topic and acknowledging that the author's view of society is multifaceted. Despite such intentions, it can be seen that Harwood collates a critical response in regard to the chasm that divides the worlds of men and women, with her sympathies resting with the female population.
I don't believe your thesis statement answers the question. The thesis is rather off-topic. To sum up. I recommend providing historical background in your first sentence. You should attempt to make the historical information augment your contention. Merely stating that the author is a fine poet is extraneous and does not add anything to your argument. Moreover, you may also want to 'step up' your vocabulary in order to acquire the higher marks. You may want to include text specific words like:chauvinism, patriarchal zeitgeist and libreto.  I think my biggest concern is the relevance to the prompt. While talking about the 'chasm that divides the worlds of men and woman' is interesting it is not pertinent to the prompt and your assessor will definitely take issue with it. Despite these shortcomings your introduction is well written and your acknowledgement of the text as a construct will heighten your marks. :)   
Disclaimer= I am not Lauren, so take everything I say with a grain of salt.

Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: katiesaliba on October 17, 2014, 10:19:46 pm
THANK YOU SO MUCH, LAUREN!  ;D

Just a query: an assessor has recommended that I always aim to write four paragraphs instead of three for my essays. However, for context especially, I struggle to complete four because I simply just run out of time. How essential do you think it is to write four paragraphs instead of three? Do you have any tips for trying to write four within an hour? Thanks again! :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Blondie21 on October 17, 2014, 10:40:40 pm
“The male characters in Harwood’s poetry embody all the attributes that Harwood finds contemptible”

Gwen Harwood, one of Australia’s finest poets,This is probably not the best way to add an element of the author's historical background into the introduction. Instead, it may be more prudent to consider societal zeitgeists and whether the text acts as a social commentary. Consider if the poetry is a commentary about the subservience of woman.  delves into a range of subjects as she experiments with voice and play of language which is often underpinned with satirical wit.It is good that you are providing information pertaining to the language style of the poetry. :) Harwood castigates both genders through her poetry as she believes they are both equally responsible for the deplorable aspects of modern day society You may want to be more specific and more concise. However, despite the strong feministic core of her poetry, Harwood recognises that men exemplify attributes that she herself advocates.It is good that you are challenging the topic and acknowledging that the author's view of society is multifaceted. Despite such intentions, it can be seen that Harwood collates a critical response in regard to the chasm that divides the worlds of men and women, with her sympathies resting with the female population.
I don't believe your thesis statement answers the question. The thesis is rather off-topic. To sum up. I recommend providing historical background in your first sentence. You should attempt to make the historical information augment your contention. Merely stating that the author is a fine poet is extraneous and does not add anything to your argument. Moreover, you may also want to 'step up' your vocabulary in order to acquire the higher marks. You may want to include text specific words like:chauvinism, patriarchal zeitgeist and libreto.  I think my biggest concern is the relevance to the prompt. While talking about the 'chasm that divides the worlds of men and woman' is interesting it is not pertinent to the prompt and your assessor will definitely take issue with it. Despite these shortcomings your introduction is well written and your acknowledgement of the text as a construct will heighten your marks. :)   
Disclaimer= I am not Lauren, so take everything I say with a grain of salt.

Thank you so much!! Are you also studying Harwood's poetry this year?

Here is my tweaked introduction. What do you think?

Gwen Harwood’s voluminous work was written in a time of female-under privilege and delves into a range of subjects as she experiments with voice and play of language which is often underpinned with satirical wit. Harwood castigates both genders through her poetry as she believes they are both equally responsible for the deplorable aspects of modern day society. Women often embodied the attribute that Harwood found most contemptible: being subservient to their male counterparts. In conjunction to this, it would be foolish to neglect the fact that this behaviour was catalysed by the patriarchal zeitgeist of the time. Nevertheless, despite the strong feministic core of her poetry, Harwood recognises that society is multifaceted as men exemplify attributes that she herself advocates.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: darklight on October 17, 2014, 10:53:33 pm
Hey Lauren

How should we go about analysing tones? I tend to just state "X utilises a Y tone" but I'm unsure as to how to articulate the effect on the reader as such. Any tips?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on October 18, 2014, 12:10:27 am
THANK YOU SO MUCH, LAUREN!  ;D

Just a query: an assessor has recommended that I always aim to write four paragraphs instead of three for my essays. However, for context especially, I struggle to complete four because I simply just run out of time. How essential do you think it is to write four paragraphs instead of three? Do you have any tips for trying to write four within an hour? Thanks again! :)

Unessential IMO (if not detrimental for students whose natural inclination isn't to write four paragraphs). I wrote there paragraphs in each of Section A and C for a total of 39/40, so don't let it stress you. At the end of the day there's no difference between three highly inpressuve paragraphs and four highly impressive paragraphs. How can there be? Both hit the criteria. I mean, one could argue that writing four makes it easier on yourself, but at the end of the day you can do the job with three.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: soNasty on October 18, 2014, 12:18:10 am
Hey Lauren! Right now, the only thing I'm slightly struggling with is Section C - ensuring that I identify how the author positions the reader. I'm fine with interpreting what they've said, identifying techniques and the lot... However my teacher has told me that I forget to consider how what the writer has written exactly positions the reader to feel/believe/think. Would it be possible for me to scan an essay to someone and send it through email? You'd be able to understand exactly where I'm coming from if I send one. Thanks!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: 24bauer12 on October 18, 2014, 12:34:44 pm
Hi Blondie21,
Gwen Harwood’s voluminous work was written in a time of female-under privilege and delves into a range of subjects It may be useful to be more specific. as she experiments with voice and play of language which is often underpinned with satirical wit.You may want to wait until the body paragraphs to examine the language style utilised in her poetry. Harwood castigates both genders through her poetry as she believes they are both equally responsible for the deplorable aspects of modern day society. Women often embodied the attribute that Harwood found most contemptible: being subservient to their male counterparts. In conjunction to this, it would be foolishTry to make this more formal. :) replace foolish with "reductive to a nuanced understanding of her work to neglect the fact that this behaviour was catalysed by the patriarchal zeitgeist of the time. Change this sentence to:In conjunction to this, it would be  reductive to a nuanced understanding of her work to neglect the patriarchal zeitgeist which permeated society.  Nevertheless, despite the strong feministic core of her poetry, Harwood recognises that society is multifaceted as men exemplify attributes that she herself advocates. This thesis statement is much improved and succinctly responds to the topic.
This introduction is definitely improved from  your first draft. Your language is also much more expressive and precise. However, ensure you stick to present tense throughout the essay. Also, I recommend revising your syntactical construction in some sentences as they sometimes feel clunky.If you keep up the vocabulary and the use of historical context to augment your writing this essay will receive higher marks. Additionally, throughout your body paragraphs I recommend the analysis of metalanguage specific to Harwood's poetry.  :)   

Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: 24bauer12 on October 18, 2014, 05:33:54 pm
Quote
Hey Lauren

How should we go about analysing tones? I tend to just state "X utilises a Y tone" but I'm unsure as to how to articulate the effect on the reader as such. Any tips?
Hi Darklight,
I recommend not using the word tone! For example, don't used: The article entitled “..” by ... published in The Herald Sun laments in a predominantly caustic tone. Instead use:The article entitled “..” by ... published in The Herald Sun caustically  laments. This forces analysis and eradicates simple retelling. If there is a tonal shift definitely mention it; however, ensure you have the appropriate vocabulary [see Lauren's table of tones :)] Make sure you mention the effect on the reader. Does the writer violently criticise someone and then become more circumspect?Does this ameliorate attitudes of those who are offended by the intense criticism? Ask how does the tonal shift help the writer advance his contention.
P.S I am not Lauren but I hope this is helpful! 
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Rishi97 on October 19, 2014, 10:49:56 am
Heyy Lauren :)

In Language analysis, is it necessary to talk about an image in the introduction?

Thank you
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: 24bauer12 on October 19, 2014, 01:31:55 pm
Quote
Heyy Lauren :)

In Language analysis, is it necessary to talk about an image in the introduction?

Thank you
Hi Rishi97,
No, it is not compulsory to mention the visual in the introduction. It is also not necessary to mention all the articles or visuals in the introduction. Similariy, it is not compulsory to sign post your arguments in a T.R introduction. However, these are the dominant approaches utilised in VCE english. Some assessors will be annoyed if you don't adopt the dominant structure; you should try to appease as many assessors as possible. :) All the introduction requires [in terms of discussion of the visuals] is a simple The article is poignantly augmented with X or the article was accompanied with x. :)   
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 19, 2014, 02:03:36 pm
Blondie21:

Rewritten version in much better, always prioritise answering the prompt directly over sounding impressive or cramming in vocab about the text. Thank you to 24bauer12 for your corrections :)

katiesaliba:

Definitely not necessary, you can score perfectly well with three paras provided they have enough in them. If the forth is of a lesser quality then you're better off strengthening your other arguments rather than stretching yourself to three.
However, it might be worth trying to write 4 for certain prompts because sometimes it's better to have more perspectives instead of longer analysis. Your teacher might be recommending this for another reason though (ie. trying to get you to expand your scope) so maybe give it a go when practicing, but don't feel obliged.

darklight:

My system was to use the word tone 2-3 times per piece (jsut for those lazy assessors who think you aren't mentioning it unless you're using a 'The author employs a ____ tone' format.) The rest is all done through adverbs, ie. 'The author emphatically condemns...' or 'The article vitriolically asserts...'
Don't overdo it though :)

soNasty:

what, how, why. These words are your new three best friends. At the moment you're fulfilling the 'what' stage of identifying techniques, explaining the effects, and providing evidence (quoting/paraphrasing.) What you need to do is remind yourself to cover the 'how' ie. how the readers/audience are affected, how these responses are elicited; and 'why' ie. why the author has done this for a given contention.
A link to a fuller explanation of this is on the first post, but just being aware of this issue should be enough to combat it. Trial this new approach and see how you go.

Rishi97:

Not compulsory, but recommended (again, for the fussy assessors.) What you don't have to do is discuss contention, tone, or audience of the visual, since usually they're not separate texts, but embedded. Take the 2011 exam for instance, you wouldn't deal with the core article, all four comments, and two visuals in a 'Author, contention, tone, audience' format. You'd just do this for the core text (after a contextualising/background info sentence) then say something like 'This article also prompted several responses from members of the public' or 'There were also two visual aids accompanying this posts of two different types of tattoos.' Keep the intros short and sweet, you don't want to spend too much time on them :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Yacoubb on October 19, 2014, 08:56:13 pm
Hey lauren :-)

How many times (and this varies from one piece to another) would you mention tone fluctuations in a language analysis? Thanks
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: DJA on October 19, 2014, 08:58:30 pm
Hi Lauren

Would you suggest doing a conclusion for language analysis and if so how does one create one?

Also if you don't do a conclusion would the scary mean markers VCAA take off marks? Look down on it?

thanks in advance :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 19, 2014, 09:12:59 pm
How many times (and this varies from one piece to another) would you mention tone fluctuations in a language analysis? Thanks
No more than twice I should think, unless it's a piece with quote a few key shifts. So long as you aren't making a big deal out of it every time (ie. two or three lines devoted to tone) you don't have to do it often. On the other hand, you don't want to just be superficially cramming it into every sentence, so do so in moderation. Generally when the tone and the techniques align (ie. vitriolic tone coupled with an attack on poor role models) then you can comment on the combined effect, and that should be sufficient.
The occasional adverb here and there can't hurt though :)


Would you suggest doing a conclusion for language analysis and if so how does one create one?

Also if you don't do a conclusion would the scary mean markers VCAA take off marks? Look down on it?

It's a structural requirement, which means you could potentially score well without one, but it does piss of the scary mean markers annoy VCAA's sensibilities. Yo ucan tack this onto your analysis if you need, just so long as you're wrapping up your points and not cutting things short mid-analysis you should be alright.

My conclusions were generally just vague summations of a key appeal throughout the text. Dichotommies are good to discuss here, provided you've dealt with them and analysed them properly beforehand. (eg. for the 2012 exam: Through Mrs Eliot's glorification of books and the idea of reading, she essentially dichotomises the issue between the "beautiful pretty books" and the "nasty smelly ebooks." (paraphrasing)) Then maybe one or two sentences more on general audience responses, or even tone if it's really central to the piece.
The most important thing about a conclusion is that you do one, and you don't screw it up and make your analysis seem worse retroactively. That's about all :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: w3dragon25 on October 19, 2014, 11:38:50 pm
Hi lauren, could you have a quick look at this paragraph on Voxi's article? Thank you in advance!

From the outset, Voxi philosophically undermines those who do not accept digital technology and are “dislodged” from their comfort zone. Here, Voxi establishes a “polarise[d]” dichotomy in his readers, separating the “gritty people” from the “losers”. Making this juxtaposition, Voxi praises the “grits” as ambitious and successful individuals who are able to “produce pearls”, as opposed to “afraid” and unexciting people. Consequently, Voxi depicts such generic individuals as stone-age “homo habilis” who “huddl[e] in caves”, not accepting revolutionary improvements. This notion, employed by Voxi, is apt to draw younger readers onside as they would abstain from such negative connotations of “old” and unintelligent behaviour associated with humans’ predecessors. Subsequently, Voxi inclines his readers to embrace the potential of the digital age to “become…more intelligent, faster than evolution alone allows”. To downplay insecurities and revoke fear in his readers, Voxi incorporates a rhetorical question “What’s to be afraid of?” Grounded on previous positive beliefs that technology “enhances our lives” with the “potential it offers”, the rhetorical question is intended to remove apprehension, and instead, prompts young readers to reap its benefits to further evolve as “human beings”. Proposing such evolution will lead to “end[] [of] war and violence” and achieving “happy,…fulfilling lives”, Voxi illustrates a utopian future favourable for man-kind, which is likely to resonate with ambitious, peace-seeking individuals. Thus, young readers would feel inclined to accept digital technology as its world-changing advantages are in their own hands.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: 24bauer12 on October 20, 2014, 09:24:13 pm
Hi w3dragon24,
Quote
From the outset, Voxi philosophically undermines those who do not accept digital technology and are “dislodged” from their comfort zone. Here, Voxi establishes a “polarise[d]”I recommend omitting polorised as dichotomy is sufficient :) dichotomy in his readers, separating the “gritty people” from the “losers”.You can mention the connotations associated with these quotes.   Making this juxtaposition, Voxi praises the “grits” as ambitious and successful individuals who are able to “produce pearls”, as opposed to “afraid” and unexciting people. Consequently, Voxi depicts such generic individuals as stone-age “homo habilis” who “huddl[e] in caves”, not accepting revolutionary improvements.Consider the notion of Voxi depicting thses individuals as anachronistic. This notion, employed by Voxi, is apt to draw younger readers onside as they would abstain from such negative connotations of “old” and unintelligent behaviour associated with humans’ predecessors.This is slightly awkward expression. Subsequently, Voxi inclines his readers to embrace the potential of the digital age to “become…more intelligent, faster than evolution alone allows”. To downplay insecurities and revoke fear in his readers, Voxi incorporates a rhetorical question “What’s to be afraid of?” Grounded on previous positive beliefs that technology “enhances our lives” with the “potential it offers”, the rhetorical questionI recommend incorporating techniques as  adjectives is intended to remove apprehension, and instead, prompts young readers to reap its benefits to further evolve as “human beings”. Proposing such evolution will lead to “end[] [of] war and violence” and achieving “happy,…fulfilling lives”, Voxi illustrates a utopianreplace with idyllic future favourable for man-kind, which is likely to resonate with ambitious, peace-seeking individuals. Thus, young readers would feel inclined to accept digital technology as its world-changing advantages are in their own hands.
Your use of vocabulary is impressive and you analyse the effect on the reader in a most impressive way. However, you could expand on the child-adult dichotomy mentioned by the writer.It is also refreshing to see that you don't depend on formulaic responses. :) 
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: LFC_Kero on October 20, 2014, 09:28:16 pm
hey lauren is this a good thing to do?

In my opinion, there are five areas for whose reality prompts
these are:
Illusion
Subjectivity vs Objectivity
Conflict
Memory
Conformity

Im planning to write and perfect a persuasive piece on each of these areas, and just memorise all 5 pieces. and obviously in the exam ill just change them up a bit to suit the prompt we get..

is this a wise thing to do?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 21, 2014, 09:33:08 am
I've made no secret about my opinions regarding memorisation for Section B. I'm not a fan and I think it's the quickest way to stunt your though processes and relying on what may have worked before.
That said, you can of course have familiar arguments and examples; you'd be stupid not to. But some things to watch out for:
When you see a prompt with one of those trigger words, or something that can be easily categorised, don't go straight for the memorised piece. Brainstorm the prompt like normal; the rote-learned stuff can be adapted effectively, but attempts to simply regurgitate stuff are usually unsuccessful.
Also, what about prompts that don't conform to these groups? eg.  'Our reality is always changing.' or ‘We can evade reality but we cannot avoid the consequences of doing so.' There are countless examples (these were just ones I found online, that's not including the ones I could create) that wouldn't neatly fit your categorisation, and so you should get used to active thought under pressure rather than obsessing over which ideas you're going to reapply.
I'm not saying the piece you write in the exam should be full of totally untested ideas you just came up with on the spot, but, to correct some misconceptions:
hey lauren is this a good thing to do?

In my opinion, there are five areas This is way too reductive, there are plenty more, and you could never come up with a conclusive, number that was anywhere near single-digits for whose reality prompts
these are:
Illusion Self-delusion? Effective/ineffective illusions? Reasons for and consequences of illusions? The forms these illusions can take? What makes illusions different from / better or worse than / more or less stable than reality? How these illusions manifest themselves? The possibility of multiple illusions and the concurrent consequences of this?
The list goes on, and I could do this for all of your categories.
Any and all of these ideas are examinable, and unless your "perfect" piece covers everything, there's no way you could apply the same ideas to suit a vastly different prompt.
Subjectivity vs Objectivity
Conflict
Memory
Conformity
What about combinations of these categories? eg. 'Conforming to other people's realities invariably causes conflict.' Which piece are you going to use then? If you've memorised both and attempt to combine them on the spot, it'll probably get messy and disconnected.

Im planning to write and perfect Okay, here's my biggest issue. Perfecting a context piece is possible. But all your perfecting is that one piece. For one prompt. Just  because an essay you wrote scored a 10, that's no guarantee you'd be able to replicate and appropriate that for another topic. Rather than thinking about things in terms of 'this is an essay about illusions' or 'this paragraph is about consequences' try and organise your ideas in complete sentences that are more like contentions than over-simplified themes, eg. 'this is an essay about why we feel the need to create illusions in order to cope with the difficulties of reality' and 'this is a paragraph explaining the ramifications of these two worlds colliding, and why mutual exclusive realities are so dangerous, both for individuals and those around them.' a persuasive piece on each of these areas, and just memorise all 5 pieces. and obviously in the exam ill just change them up a bit given the amount of time you'll have to spend practicing this, don't you think there's more effective ways of studying? to suit the prompt we get..
Let's just take two random prompts on that one group: illusion...
a) The way we perceive reality is always some form of subjective illusion.
b) Our illusions are more damaging to those around us than ourselves.
Think about how vastly different your approach should be for both of those topics. They've both got the word 'illusion' in them, but they're far from similar, and a 10/10 piece for (a) which contends that, eg. 'our perceptions are always subjective, but that doesn't make them illusions' would be totally invalid and irrelevant for (b.)

is this a wise thing to do?
tl;dr: Nope.


Apologies if this is a little acerbic, but rote-learning is a particular pet peeve of mine and I wouldn't want you to set yourself up for such an obvious pitfall.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: magneto on October 21, 2014, 10:11:54 am
Hey Lauren,
this question is about language analysis:
can expert opinion make the writer appear rational in regards to the issue?
for example in the article im analyzing, its about the writers fear that we are losing our skills in handwriting due to the increase in technology (that classical case >.<) but by drawing on an author who shares the same views as her, can she appear rational then cause she researched, and she later says: ' The information age is here and it's essentially a digital computer age with great liberating and democratic potential, But that doesn't mean we can't also keep what's valuable, unique and often beautiful from the past.' Can I link that quote with the expert opinion use as being rational? and not just heated by passion for the art of handwriting?
Overall how does appear rational serve to persuade?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: LFC_Kero on October 21, 2014, 12:54:32 pm
I've made no secret about my opinions regarding memorisation for Section B. I'm not a fan and I think it's the quickest way to stunt your though processes and relying on what may have worked before.
That said, you can of course have familiar arguments and examples; you'd be stupid not to. But some things to watch out for:
When you see a prompt with one of those trigger words, or something that can be easily categorised, don't go straight for the memorised piece. Brainstorm the prompt like normal; the rote-learned stuff can be adapted effectively, but attempts to simply regurgitate stuff are usually unsuccessful.
Also, what about prompts that don't conform to these groups? eg.  'Our reality is always changing.' or ‘We can evade reality but we cannot avoid the consequences of doing so.' There are countless examples (these were just ones I found online, that's not including the ones I could create) that wouldn't neatly fit your categorisation, and so you should get used to active thought under pressure rather than obsessing over which ideas you're going to reapply.
I'm not saying the piece you write in the exam should be full of totally untested ideas you just came up with on the spot, but, to correct some misconceptions:

Apologies if this is a little acerbic, but rote-learning is a particular pet peeve of mine and I wouldn't want you to set yourself up for such an obvious pitfall.

ok cheers for that!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jono_CP on October 21, 2014, 01:03:17 pm
How many sentences approx. should be devoted towards analysing the effect on the reader for the language analysis?

Also, just any general tips would be good. I am aiming high for the English exam.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: LFC_Kero on October 21, 2014, 01:19:18 pm
I dont get this prompt
reality is too intangible for us to ever really embrace it
could you help me come up with ideas to talk about
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 21, 2014, 03:43:40 pm
magneto:
Ah yes, I know that article. Yes, expert opinion (or self-aggrandisement in that author's case :p) can be worth analysing. It's not a very 'meaty' device though; you couldn't talk about it for more than a few lines, so perhaps try and combine it with some other techniques (eg. glorification of handwriting as an art form)

Zeitgeist:
Depends on the article, and what you're analysing. If you've picked up on one instance of inclusive language, then explaining the effect will take less than a sentence. However, if you're commenting on a broader, more general appeal then you may need one or two whole sentences just teasing out this idea and linking it to the contention.
Go with the flow when analysing, but for most body paragraphs, try to quote, or otherwise closely analyse, at least every 3 lines. Any less than that and you're probably getting to far away from the issue.
Re: general tips: see everything I've written in this thread. Or just everything on the forums. If you want more specific advice, then as a more specific question :)
edit: actually I do have more specific advice: don't aim high, aim smart. Thinking 'I really want a 40+' isn't helping you study. It might motivate you, but it won't help you actually learn. Instead think: 'I really want to write awesome T.R. conclusions' or 'I really want to get the hang of connotative analysis.' That way you have a tangible goal that is purely within your control.

LFC_Kero:
What is it about the prompt that's tripping you up? If it's the word 'intangible' then look it up, come up with some synonyms, and try to reword it so there's an implication or two you can explore.
Could the reason you're getting stumped be that your 5 persuasive pieces don't apply here? :) Don't worry, it's better that this happens now and not in the exam.
If you understand the prompt, but just don't have the ideas to deal with it, then you need to expand your example-bank. The Conflict Example Guide in my sig should help get you started, otherwise go back to the ones you're using and try to unpack them more, or link them into other ideas.
Check the first post in this thread; there are some previous examples regarding questioning/unpacking the prompt. It feels kinda pointless for me to just suggest random ideas at this stage of the year when it should be about you refining your approach.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: M_BONG on October 21, 2014, 05:17:55 pm
Hi Lauren :)

In your prac exam LA piece  (the city vs country one), do you think it would be too far of a stretch to say Bates is ultimately biased and slanted but tries to disguise or dissemble this by sort of, tricking the reader into seeing she is actually moderate because she provides advantages of life in both country and city but puts more weight on the city side.
 
Or would you argue that she makes it no secret that she is biased and one-sided, although she *genuinely* feels some qualities about country life? Because she starts off with "would you rather be a city slicker or a country bumpkin?" and that to me, sounded like you has already made up her mind..

Thanks!

Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: LiquidPaperz on October 21, 2014, 07:50:56 pm
In general for context, what are some good ideas to discuss, in response to the prompt "conflict reveals our inner strength" / "the experience of conflict reveals our inner strength".

Im thinking of doing mine in a speech form (as i find this the most powerful way and usually gets better marks, do you agree?)

Thanks!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jesse C on October 21, 2014, 08:16:07 pm
I have been having some trouble with Section C and was hoping you could give me some advice on how to improve.
I got full marks on my language analysis SAC, but managed to lose the SAC itself and all of my practice essays so I have had to try and reconstruct the style I had originally used. The result isn’t pretty:

(for a practice exam - article isn’t really necessary)
Lee proceeds to condemn the previous speakers through ironically suggesting they ‘inhabit’ a ‘region’ of the ‘real world’, thus suggesting previous speakers’ alienation from the current reality of diverse workplaces. However, Lee reverts to a polite usage of ‘respect’ and the personal pronoun ‘I’ to diffuse any anger from supporters of previous speakers and disassociate it from the idea that the current education system doesn’t require reform. Lee reverts to a sardonic tone, attributing the waywardness of previous arguments to ‘pre-conceived notions’ and moves to contrast this with supporters of ‘positive initiatives’.

I have since tried to expand on my discussion of the overarching arguments rather than the individual techniques, but am unsure of how to do so. This is an excerpt from a newer analysis I did for your first practice exam.

Eli’s humorous use of the ironic alliteration; ‘reading, riting and rithmatic’ portrays the early educational system as simplistic, hypocritical and therefore worthy of derision. Thus the amplification of ‘bigger and better things’ into the metaphors ‘wonderful worlds of art, music and languages’ encourages support for the expansive and sophisticated arts over a ‘basic’ education.  This is exemplified in parents, whose limited knowledge of the curriculum and minimal contact with teachers may render a student’s opinion more pertinent than that of educational bureaucracy. This serves to paint the ‘new’ ‘confusing’ system as an unnecessarily inefficient nuisance, whose faceless creators’ refusal to ‘trust’ students and overbearing dislike of educational ‘mistakes’ illicit admonishment among parents who desire positive, independent futures for their children.

Eli’s condemnatory accusations of the school’s ‘commanding’ nature likens it to an oligarchy and Eli’s rhetorical questioning of the suitability of education in a ‘shed’ immediately calls to mind hobbies of experienced, middle aged men. Thus the humorous catachresis of ‘getting our fingers sawn off’ by equipment elicits fear of a tangible risk to children’s health directly resultant of reckless, ignorant or more sinister sociopathic school leaders. This certainly warrants condemnation from parents, children and subservient teachers alike and establishes the enlightened author as more trustworthy and worthy of respect than the school itself.

It took ages to write as it is a completely new style for me, but is that what I should be going for? I would proceed to draw from the second image and perhaps one of the commenters and continue this throughout the rest of the analysis.
In terms of specific questions, I’m struggling to break free of the formulaic pattern for section C. For example, for connotations:
The emotive term ‘toxic’ connotes sports parents’ corroding effect on the sports club and thus creates an aversion towards them among sports club users.

‘toxic’ sports parents appear equivocal to a force corroding the sports club, thus encouraging aversion among sports club users towards such dangerous and demonstrable people.

The second one seems to flow better and make a better point, but it doesn’t specify that toxic’s connotations are the cause. Is this ok or should I signpost the technique?
Also, I have noticed that high scoring responses tend to signpost or even question the authors argument, using language such as ‘this forms part of xxx’s attack on…’ and ‘contributes to this attempt to vilify…’ to break up the listing of techniques. Should I try to incorporate this kind of context in favour of extra phrases such as ‘xxx builds upon this using x technique to elicit x response’?

Also, in a few of your practice essay’s Lauren, you seem to use the contention as the crux of your argument with thing such as:
‘Fellow commenter Georgina also contends that cycling is an advantageous pursuit for individuals and the wider community, and challenges the mindset of parents who believe “they can only keep their school-aged children safe from cars by putting them in cars.” This encourages parents and other readers to question their preconceptions about transport alternatives, and appeals to their desire to do what is best for children. ‘

I showed my teacher this and he said it would get full marks, despite no specific mention of a technique with the evidence, just the allusion to an appeal. Would this kind of vague or at least prolonged analysis be suitable or should I aim to use more specific examples such as the alliteration of car? I know that the scary mean markers (VCAA) aren’t stupid, but will a lack of signposting cause them to ignore some analysis?

Finally, do you advocate an argument based structure or a procedural structure? I plan on referencing images and other content throughout but am at a loss as to whether I should roughly follow the authors procedural argument(usually co-insides with the building of the overall contention) or sample tones and evidence supporting specific arguments throughout.
The first of those seems to advocate the use of terms such as ‘contrasts with his earlier assertion that’, which seems clunky and limiting, but will assessors mind unreferenced comparisons between strenuously relevant ideas/techniques from the beginning and ends of articles (which the audience would likely forget)?   

Sorry this is so incredibly long, I have just heard a lot of conflicting things and have no idea what to believe! If you have time, any answers to these questions, or criticism of my example would be greatly appreciated!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Yacoubb on October 21, 2014, 08:35:52 pm
Hi Lauren,

If we were given a main article with accompanying comments, are we expected to address all of them? If so, what do you believe is the best way of doing this?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Valyria on October 21, 2014, 11:18:57 pm
Hey Lauren,

How did you format your response to a discuss and do you agree question? So did you have 4 paragraphs for a discuss styled question on your stance or 3 on your stance and 1 exploring the opposite view?

Thanks
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: AmericanBeauty on October 22, 2014, 01:45:25 pm
Hi Lauren,

Can you quote a limerick (its like 8 lines long in my handwriting) in your whose reality essay? There is one by Ronald Dox about if a tree falls over and if nobody hears it, does it make a sound. It's about the reality of the event having an inextricable link with the reality of the observer ... or is this plagiarism?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: yang_dong on October 22, 2014, 05:52:05 pm
Hey Lauren,
For David Malouf's ransom, how is it that stories can be changed in the telling, make the notion of storytelling seem significant?

Thank you
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: magneto on October 22, 2014, 08:33:08 pm
Hello Lauren,
Whats another way of saying that 'family is of upmost importance?'

Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Rishi97 on October 22, 2014, 08:42:54 pm
Hello Lauren,
Whats another way of saying that 'family is of upmost importance?'


I'm not Lauren but a suggestion is "family is the main priority"
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: magneto on October 22, 2014, 09:54:49 pm
How would I form a contention from:
topic - The novel is ultimately about the indissoluble ties of family.
-   This connects them to a common humanity
-   This allows them to overcome social barriers
-   Over comes physical barriers

thank you!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 23, 2014, 10:32:03 am
Zezima:
I'd try and avoid commenting on bias as it's not really something the author is consciously doing in order to persuade the audience, and that's really where the focus should be. However, bias can give way to some worthwhile devices, eg. antanagogue which is similar to what you're describing. Analysing deliberate decisions the author has made is usually more effective than commenting on their actual opinion, as the latter can get a tad evaluative.

LiquidPaperz:
Again, I can't just give you the ideas, that's part of the task for Context. I've listed heaps on the examples thread as a starting point, but you're meant to be exploring these avenues on your own. What do you think a good idea might be? When you try and come up with a contention for the prompt, what are you basing your judgements on?
Refer to the link in first post regarding which forms/styles are 'best.'

Jesse C:
I'll give you some general comments now, but in future try and leave this thread for general questions. The Submissions and Marking Board is where you'd post full essays if you want feedback :)
-Try to paraphrase rather than quote absolutely anything that fits. Sentences like ' suggesting they ‘inhabit’ a ‘region’ of the ‘real world’,' sound a bit laboured, and it's really only the last two words that are important to your analysis.
-Re: overarching analysis, read the 'key players method' explanation earlier in this thread (should be a link in the first post.) This should give you a half-way point between really general contention discussion, and close/technique-based analysis.
-It's not compulsory to mention a technique/device every time you analyse. In fact, a lot of what's persuasive in articles isn't the use of a rhetorical question or alliteration, but rather an overall appeal to one of our core values. Techniques are still worth mentioning of course, but don't let them be the basis for your analysis. Personally, I found it easier to work inwards from a big idea (ie. para focus: 'the author wants us to view the government as foolish and inept' --> what are some examples of this positioning --> how are the audience made to feel as a result --> why does the author want them to feel this way.) Each paragraph can do this what-how-why pattern a couple of times, but it should also have an overall sense of starting big, zooming in, and zooming back out to that big idea. This gives your analysis more direction, and even though structure isn't a huge part of the L.A. criteria, it can be easier for your assessor to follow a paragraph that begins with 'The author's aggressive demonisation of the government forms part of his attack on all who support the proposal' as opposed to  'The author uses inclusive language seven times, and also three rhetorical questions.'
Not all good analyses do it this way, but it should provide you with a solid option at least.
-Yes, it's okay to break up analysis sometimes; you don't want to be too formulaic in your approach. Usually some of the best and most insightful analysis comes when you examine how certain techniques work in conjunction with one another, or something like that. You should never evaluate the argument though, (ie. don't zoom out too far and end up talking about the issue, or pitting one approach against another in terms of which one is more persuasive.)
I'm sure I've missed at least one of your questions, but have a read through this and the key player explanation and get back to me, hopefully that should clear up some misconceptions.
edit: the reason you've heard conflicting recommendations is because every teacher has their own preferred method. Some like all the analysis spelt out for them, others prefer a very well structured piece, even if the analysis is shaky. Ideally you'll find your own variation that fulfills the criteria, so of course you can modify any approach as you see fit. Structuring by key players was something I discovered towards the end of Term 3, so not all of my analyses are like this. However, once I settled into that format, I found the actual process of analysing much more intuitive.

Yaccoub:
It's not an official criterion, and you could potentially score well without mentioning one or two, but if something has been included, then there's probably a reason, and I guarantee you'll fine at least one thing to analyse in each comment/text. I'd probably try and cover them all, unless you think doing so would negatively impact your other analysis. If you favour long-ish body paragraphs then you should be able to link one or two of them into the main text (either by common appeal (eg. '...this forms part of A's sympathetic appeal to parental concern. Similarly, B also calls upon readers' desire to protect the vulnerable, though his argument is much more defensive...'), or just the fact that their contentions are in opposition (eg. '...thereby furthering A's contention that football is awesome. By contrast, B refutes to sport as seen...') )
Possible structure for a core article with two images and three comments:
Para 1: Core text + first image
Para 2: Core text + first comment + second comment
Para 3: Core text + third comment + second visual
And you can mix and match depending on your paragraph numbers/length, as well as which comments work well when discussed together. Also, for most VCAA pieces, they'll tend to give you really obvious links between multi-text pieces. For instance, whatever the author is discussing during a powerpoint presentation will probably link to what's being displayed on the screen if there's a relevant image (this was especially true of 2010)

Valyria:
There's no real difference between 'Discuss' and 'Do you agree?' In both instances you'll be discussing whether or not you agree :) Though I found, for certain texts at least, the 'Do you agree?'s invited more challenging than the 'Discuss' prompts. Rather than having just one paragraph dedicated to a challenge though, I tried to make my contention more complex and challenge throughout all the body paragraphs. This didn't always work though, so the 3:1 ratio is probably better than 4 paragraphs that ignore alternate views. Don't undercut yourself too much; the end of your challenge should come back to your contention, eg. '...thus Juliet also shouldered some responsibility. However, ultimately it was Romeo's foolhardy pursuit of love that unraveled both the lovers and their families.'

AmericanBeauty:
The idea of a tree falling and no one hearing it is pretty common, so you should be able to refer to the idea without the need to quote. Even if it's quite short, the evidence is usually more effective when you reword it to suit your purpose, rather than simply reciting a poem you've memorised.

yang dong:
Try and come up with some of your own ideas, even if you're worried they may be wrong, being able to critically think for yourself is essential at the time of year. Just start unpicking the idea irrespective of the text if you need; why is telling a story important, and why might those stories be inaccurate or embellished sometimes?

magneto:
thesaurus.com/browse/utmost
thesaurus.com/browse/importance :)
It seems like your evidence centres around the power of family as a unifying force, maybe start there? What exactly are you having trouble with in forming a contention? Giving you one to use isn't really teaching you anything.



Apologies if I've misread/left out parts of your questions. Let me know if you guys need any more help, but in general, please don't post anything along the lines of 'how do I answer this prompt' or 'what are some ideas for ___.' That might be what you need help with, but rather than using me or the forums as an idea generator, try and work out why you're having trouble. What is it about this theme or prompt that's thrown you off? At this stage, whilst using others can be invaluable in furthering your ideas, you have to have some foundation on which to build, and ultimately, you'll be on your own in the exam room, so developing a skillset for working through unfamiliar problems or concepts is more important than covering absolutely everything in a sophisticated way.

All the best!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jesse C on October 23, 2014, 02:23:29 pm
Thanks so much Lauren! The key players strategy is perfect and seems close to what I think I did on the SAC. That should sort me out for the exam - thanks for taking time to help us all out!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: mnewin on October 23, 2014, 08:03:54 pm
Hi Lauren,
In desperate help here. For context, do you recommend memorising a piece? I find it very hard to write on the spot, i can plan and get my paragraph ideas. I don't know if i should memorise a piece in case the prompt is completely not what i'm expecting?? I looked at past vcaa ones, and if i was in the exam room, i'd be panicking a bit. i dont know the technqiue of "adapting" to the prompt and if you can share some advice on that, it'll be awesome! Thankyou :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on October 23, 2014, 08:57:47 pm
Lauren's advice would be against memorising a piece. Not only has she stated her stance against this a few times, but there's also some issues with your suggestion.
1. If the prompt is not what you are expecting, then planning a piece would actually be the worst thing you could do. You'd plan a piece for a prompt that you were expecting (by definition of things that you 'are not expecting') and thus, if a prompt came up that you weren't expecting, you would be in an even worse position than normal.

2. If you don't know the technique of adapting to the prompt, then you're in a spot of bother when the prompt doesn't come out as exactly the same as the one your wrote on (which it most certainly won't). Truth me told - there's no technique of adapting the piece. If anyone had this 'technique', they would actually just be writing a normal piece within the shell of something that had been memorised :P.

The questions you should be asking are probably more centred around how you can get better at writing on the spot and what your specific troubles with that are! That's a better place to start! :)

Good luck, happy studies, and enjoy the rest of your night! :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: kawfee on October 24, 2014, 11:39:53 am
For Text Response,

Do the arguments/paragraphs need to be in equal length?

My teacher emphasized the importance of writing equally long paragraphs for each point. However I've seen in the 'high scoring' responses in the Assesors Report, that there are responses with varying lengths for paragraphs, but they're all detailed.

Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jimi on October 24, 2014, 12:15:14 pm
Hi Lauren,

I'm struggling to write a text response introduction and would love your thoughts on this intro I have written, especially on whether it covers all the essential requirements of a good intro:

‘It is paternal love that unites the men of Ransom.’ Do you agree?
In Ransom, his lyrical reimagining of Homer’s Iliad, David Malouf humanises the great figures of semi-legend, creating an exploration of the significance of paternal love in uniting King Priam, his carter Somax and the Great Greek Warrior Achilles, amongst the relentless carnage of the Trojan War. Malouf considers the notion of these men being united as being synonymous with sharing an intrinsic connection of “fellow feeling” that is forged through the love that they hold for a dead son. Malouf shows that paternal love is the instigator of the journey which allows these men to be united and ultimately contributes to the ransom’s success. Malouf also substantiates that the shared grief of losing a son, experienced by Priam, Somax and Achilles, creates a unifying bond that inherently connects them. However, Malouf portrays Priam and Achilles as gaining a renewed understanding of paternal love, and by implication of humanity, and the rediscovery of one’s humanity is also a crucial factor that unites men. Ultimately, Malouf illustrates that paternal love acts as an instigator and as an emotional abyss that along with the rediscovery of one’s humanity, unites the men in Ransom.

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: walkec on October 24, 2014, 01:27:28 pm
Hi Lauren,

With structural questions for TRF, do you recommend establishing Hamid's purpose first to give your piece more direction?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: mnewin on October 24, 2014, 01:32:08 pm
Lauren's advice would be against memorising a piece. Not only has she stated her stance against this a few times, but there's also some issues with your suggestion.
1. If the prompt is not what you are expecting, then planning a piece would actually be the worst thing you could do. You'd plan a piece for a prompt that you were expecting (by definition of things that you 'are not expecting') and thus, if a prompt came up that you weren't expecting, you would be in an even worse position than normal.

2. If you don't know the technique of adapting to the prompt, then you're in a spot of bother when the prompt doesn't come out as exactly the same as the one your wrote on (which it most certainly won't). Truth me told - there's no technique of adapting the piece. If anyone had this 'technique', they would actually just be writing a normal piece within the shell of something that had been memorised :P.

The questions you should be asking are probably more centred around how you can get better at writing on the spot and what your specific troubles with that are! That's a better place to start! :)

Good luck, happy studies, and enjoy the rest of your night! :)
In terms of planning, i meant during the exam, the 5-10 minutes of planning, i am able to get my paragraph ideas but struggle to write the piece.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: tiff_tiff on October 24, 2014, 03:22:20 pm
for the VCAA 2008 language analysis:
can you please give me some tips just to get me going?

- ‘Why waste out Saturdays with louts like these? Faced with sports rage, good parents won’t come anymore and coaches will hang up their whistles’- I was trying to analyse the ‘hang up their whistles bit’ – obviously it is colloquial and alludes to some form of imagery, but the effect on readers I’m not quite sure.

- I’m analysing the image and I realised that the donkey is oversized compared to everything else (possibly with the exception of the empire). I get the significance of using a donkey… it’s not an animal that is often depicted in a positive light… known as ‘jackass’ etc… but being over sized…

- also from the image - the quote/speech thing that the guy says?

Please and thank you
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: AmericanBeauty on October 24, 2014, 03:44:20 pm
Hi,

Am I able to answer the prompt for whose reality in an expository form for two paragraphs, then write an imaginative but make it seem like an anecdote? Like could I talk about being a heroin addict and being unable to tell the difference between what is real, and what is imagined.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 24, 2014, 06:56:39 pm
kawfee:
You should aim to make your paragraphs about equal. Although the assessors won't bother counting the words or anything, it can make your arguments seem unbalanced to have a paragraph on guilt that's a page long, and then one on relationships that's only a few lines.
The examples in the Assessor's Report are usually just good examples of one specific thing (eg. the ones you've looked at might just have really good quote integration, or well-formulated views and values sentences.) In fact, they try not to publish all-round 'perfect' examples of everything lest people start coming up with pre-planned essays or structures. Take them with a grain of salt; you could potentially get full marks with unbalanced structure, but your analysis would have to be damned good to justify it, so make it easy on yourself and just aim for roughly equal paragraph length.

mnewin:
Don't mistake my anti-pre-planning stance with an anti-preparedness stance :) You can have familiar arguments, but the idea is to have more than you need at your disposal, that way you're modifying the most relevant ideas and not going in thinking 'these are the three things I'm going to write about, no matter the prompt.' Transpose this logic onto another subject and you can see how illogical it is: 'I'm going to write 14 for the first question on the methods exam, since I did that on a practice piece and it got full marks, so I'll jsut adapt it to the question.'
No one's expecting you to totally revolutionise how humanity views a concept like conflict or identity, but you should endeavour to engage with the prompt rather than write something you think sounds more sophisticated. If you need extra time planning then by all means take it, just make sure you have time to finish your piece. There's some advice for planning linked to the first page of this thread if you need.

tiff_tiff:
There's little point me giving you 'tips to get started' with less than a week before the exams. If you want help with your planning or annotation techniques then you should be working on that. If it's only these points that are giving you grief, ignore the really minor ones, or else just write what you think is right and see what your teacher, or the 2008 Assessor's Report. Your own ability to work through these issues when they arise is more important at this stage than getting a single essay up to a perfect standard.

AmericanBeauty:
I'm not entirely sure what you're asking, but I'd say a better idea would be to alternate your paragraphs between expository and creative writing, rather than having two separate pieces run together. Otherwise, you could use the anecdote as a bookending reference in the intro and conclusion, then spend most of your time unpicking the prompt in an expository format.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jono_CP on October 24, 2014, 07:08:53 pm
Excuse my punctuation and spelling mistakes/lack of care in the following message as I am really getting nervous and cannot be bothered.

Is language analysis all things being equal, just about being in a state of pure homoeostasis and meditation which ceases the nerves? Really just depends on what the article is, how nervous one is, and whether words can pop up in the brain ('ing' words), and just making it up as much as possible in terms of the effect on the reader. As no-one knows what the hell the author really wants to do, you can make a logical guess (e.g. pursuit of justice) but this has many connotations. E.g. is it just to make the article more pristine and professional or is it really a didactic complication. Of course, I'd presume one would go with the latter, as the examiner might think your being a "smart-arse" (SORRY ABOUT EXPRESSION I HATE IT AT THE MOMENT, GOING ALL OVER THE PLACE).................... (excessive ellipses because I don't know why) just for effect...

I also put in way too many commas, and stop my sentences on purpose even though it doesn't make sense to, just to "re-load" and pause. I also change my words around just purely because I cannot spell them, like an internal thesaurus.

Also I am scared of the 'reader' + specific audience overlap, as if one uses them interchangeably it is avoiding repetition, but using both avoids consistency. And just using one, shows the examiner that you haven't supposedly 'studied enough' to understand the lingo of a language analysis.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: walkec on October 24, 2014, 08:05:15 pm
Hi Lauren,

What's your stance on introductions and conclusions for text response? My teacher suggested that we need not do the classic "state your comtentionand outline your three arguments" for an introduction because he thinks this is too formulaic and examiners do not like formulaic responses. Similarly for conclusions, he said that you need not have a formal "conclusion" where you sort of "sum up" your ideas of the text response. He said you still need to bring discussion to a close, but it doesn't have to be in this way.

I've practice what he suggested, but I don't know whether examiners have a preference for introductions and conclusions? Would I get penalised if I do what my teacher suggested?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jono_CP on October 24, 2014, 09:35:19 pm
Can I write as a diseased author, e.g. Christopher Hitchens? Should I put a time period/publication date for when he was alive? This is for context.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: 24bauer12 on October 24, 2014, 10:45:03 pm
Hi Walkec,
You teacher is absolutely correct; signposting your points is not necessary and may be overly formulaic. Assessors prefer original ways of constructing an introduction; this may include historical context, an elucidation of the prompt and including provocative challenges to it. The introduction is for capturing the examiner's eye and therefore, you must be unique. Similarly, for conclusions I recommend making a general comment about historical context, different audience interpretations or something about authorial construction. Conversely, some picky assessors will prefer the 'normal' method. I am doing Lit and I never had an English style conclusion or introduction. Signposting and repeating ideas may also appear tautologous and unoriginal. However, it may be prudent to include the mundane signposting of points in order to appease the fussy assessors. 
   
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jono_CP on October 24, 2014, 10:56:00 pm
Hi Walkec,
You teacher is absolutely correct; signposting your points is not necessary and may be overly formulaic. Assessors prefer original ways of constructing an introduction; this may include historical context, an elucidation of the prompt and including provocative challenges to it. The introduction is for capturing the examiner's eye and therefore, you must be unique. Similarly, for conclusions I recommend making a general comment about historical context, different audience interpretations or something about authorial construction. Conversely, some picky assessors will prefer the 'normal' method. I am doing Lit and I never had an English style conclusion or introduction. Signposting and repeating ideas may also appear tautologous and unoriginal. However, it may be prudent to include the mundane signposting of points in order to appease the fussy assessors. 
   

Challenging the prompt itself is going to be a priority of mine. I always begin with some history, e.g. Seeded in the Coup De'tat of 1969 (bla bla In the Country of Men). I write my introduction last, so that it is mightily clear for the examiner what I am doing and making sure I have some freedom with my body paragraphs than I would not have had otherwise, if I had written my introduction first. I write the first sentence or two first of the introduction, and then the rest after.

To the contrary, I have been recommended to write a formulaic introduction, on the 'examiner will not understand your piece in its entirety argument'.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Brunette15 on October 25, 2014, 01:21:41 pm
Just a quick question about referring to the audience in language analysis. If a transcript of a radio show were to be given can you still refer to the audience as a reader, or would you refer to them as a listener of the talk show?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: scandin9 on October 25, 2014, 01:23:34 pm
Hi Lauren,
Should the paragraphs of a context essay have a circular argument?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Valyria on October 25, 2014, 03:37:47 pm
Hi Lauren,

When text response questions refer to 'most' or 'more', do we have to compare traits in our body paragraphs?

I.E: "Elaine is a character who experiences more internal conflict than self-unawareness"

In our body paragraphs, do we always explicitly explore why Elaine was more internally conflicted rather than being unaware of her personal identity? Or can we just explore why she was internally conflicted and end then make a concise link to the question by saying, "thus she was more internally conflicted than self unaware"?

Thanks
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Paulrus on October 25, 2014, 07:27:06 pm
hey lauren,
is it true that the word count of lang analysis doesn't necessarily need to be as high as the other sections, so it's possible to spend less time on it? i've heard that because the criteria is just based on quality of analysis and writing, and not displaying knowledge of themes/texts, you're able to display that in a smaller amount of words and don't need to write as much to get the top marks.
cos if so that'd be a great boost for me in terms of time constraints (i hate writing under a time limit so much jesus christ) but i dunno if it's actually legit
thanks heaps!  ;D
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: AmericanBeauty on October 25, 2014, 07:37:56 pm
hey lauren,
is it true that the word count of lang analysis doesn't necessarily need to be as high as the other sections, so it's possible to spend less time on it? i've heard that because the criteria is just based on quality of analysis and writing, and not displaying knowledge of themes/texts, you're able to display that in a smaller amount of words and don't need to write as much to get the top marks.
cos if so that'd be a great boost for me in terms of time constraints (i hate writing under a time limit so much jesus christ) but i dunno if it's actually legit
thanks heaps!  ;D
You can score well and write less compared to the other sections. This is evident when you look at high scoring responses with ~700 words. It's all about how well you analyse, and they recognise you can't analyse everything. So just do your best champ :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Valyria on October 25, 2014, 07:53:14 pm
Would 1/2 sentences of poor analysis of language detract you from the 9-10's? Because half way through my analysis, I tend to momentarily lose focus and when I read over my last sentence it reads like a recitation of what the author said rather than why they said it. That being said, the rest of my analysis (~analysis of 10-12 words from the article) is quite articulate and thorough.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: mnewin on October 25, 2014, 09:22:24 pm
Would you still be able to score ok (ie. 5-7/10) if you have really good ideas, explore the prompt well but write badly. Writing in a way that it's not in a sophisticated manner? i usually panic under exam conditions especially because of an unseen prompt but my teachers have given me feedback that my expression is clear though.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 25, 2014, 09:30:53 pm
Zeitgeist:
Language Analysis is more about acquiring a skillset to handle unseen content. This is kind of the case for Sections A and B, though I can understand why L.A. might be freaking you out. But it's not like they just hit a randomizer button on the internet and print whatever article comes up (well, except 2011)
They don't expect you to conduct an in-depth assessment of the author's motivations and values, but it's fairly simple to draw logical conclusions from the information presented.
Author: 'the government are smelly and inept.'
You in your L.A: 'The author seeks to denigrate the government with ad hominem attacks, thereby engendering the readers' disdain for their 'smelly' ineptitude.'
^This isn't proper analysis, but you get the idea.
It sounds like you're picking up on your common mistakes, so start implementing strategies to fix them now. There's still time to improve.
Yes, you can write as a deceased author, provided you have good reason for doing so. Is what you're writing unique to Christopher Hitchens' voice, or could it be from the perspective from any contemporary political commentator or outspoken atheist?

walkec:
I'm with your teacher on this one; signposting is a little tedious to read. You'd never loose marks for it, but it's a tad simplistic, so only use it as a last resort. Introductions have the fun job of picking apart the prompt, expanding on your contention so that it's more than a simple on-line rewording of the prompt or agree/disagree thing. (You can have a simplified version in your head, but on paper you can keep adding to this.)
Conclusions can zoom out to the bigger picture. Even for close character or structural prompts, there should be an opportunity to look at some views and values within those last few lines. In some sense you can build out from the prompt, though that should still be the basis of your discussion.
As a general tip: I often found myself coming up with a nice sounding line to end the 3rd or 4th paragraph, and I'd usually end up crossing it out and using it as my concluding line instead. You can have a couple of these generalisable 'purpose of the text' or 'author's overall intention' statements that should work for most prompts.
In short, no you can't be penalised for a lack of clearly demarcated arguments. The body paragraphs are where most of the marks are, and a good set-up/closer will probably just put most of them in a more amenable mood, which is exactly what you want :)

Brunette15:
Yes, you would use 'listeners' for a radio show. You can also use this for a presentation (eg. 2010 or 2012 VCAA exams.)
Generally speaking, the words 'audience' and 'text' work for everything - books, plays, films, poetry etc.

scandin9:
I would say it's better to give your paragraphs more of a linear focus, ie. the topic sentence introduces the idea, eg. 'the way we respond to a conflict is dependent on many factors' and then the concluding line actually hones in on the specific elements, eg. 'hence we can conclude that it is ultimately our freewill that determines our response in spite of the actions of others.' <-- you'd be more specific and prompt-oriented in both instances, of course.
It can feel redundant if you start and end in the same place, though depending on the form of your arguments and writing style, this can be done well.

Valyria:
Yes, I would highly advise comparing traits if the prompt mentions more than one. The simplistic, middle band responses will go for the obvious patter, eg.
"Elaine is a character who experiences more internal conflict than self-unawareness"
P1: Elaine's experiences
P2: Elaine's internal conflict
P3: Elaine's self-awareness
Even the most proficient of these approaches often struggles to deal with the prompt in its entirety, whereas paragraphs with conceptual focuses rather than theme-based ones are usually more 'meat-y.'
In this case, I wouldn't have more than one paragraph dealing solely with internal conflict. If you were tying things back at the end then this might be okay, but never stray too far from the prompt, there should be enough in the topic for you without having to rely on external arguments.

Paulrus:
Yes, the assessors have advised students to be selective in their analyses and that you can potentially score well with about 800 words. The ones published in the Reports aren't always 10s, so don't use them as standards for everything, but in terms of timing, you definitely shouldn't need a whole hour for L.A. unless they throw you a curveball.

Valyria:
Certainly not if it was just those few sentences, everyone makes dumb mistakes in the exam, and the assessors are quite forgiving of a few sentences here and there not making sense. However, if it's an endemic problem then it's worth fixing. If you know your point gets lost when your mind wanders, then treat that as your 'trigger' in the exam. Stop, take a breath and a drink, carefully read your last sentence and rewrite it if you have to. Practice this now, and it will become more natural in the exam. It might also be helpful to mark where this is happening, eg. in the middle of connotation analysis, or usually at the ends of paragraphs when linking back to the contention? etc. This may also be something to watch out for as part of your exam strategy.

mnewin:
Across the board, yes, so long as clarity isn't impacted.
For L.A: definitely, the quality of your analysis is the main thing, and vocab is really justs an auxiliary aid that helps if you use it well.
For T.R: possibly, although the way you write does play some part in the marks, if you've made a proper attempt to answer the question, you'll score better than someone churning out "sophisticated," but irrelevant garbage.
For Context: this is trickier. Writing style dictates the mark here a lot more than the other sections. However, sophistication in writing is not a necessity, you can chose a form that suits your style, and your essay doesn't have to be an academic discourse on complex philosophical ideas. The Assessor's Reports publish all sorts of examples that are expressing things effectively without being bogged down in trying to sound complex.
Of course, don't mistake sophistication and good writing for expansive vocab and fancy phrasing; plenty of people I know well scored incredibly highly, and don't consider themselves 'English-minded.' They simply had a good understanding of the task and were able to complete it with efficient and concise language.
If clarity isn't an issue, then you should be fine :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Saikyo on October 25, 2014, 10:51:19 pm
What does a radio transcript or interview fall under as? Persuasive, Creative or hybrid?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jason12 on October 26, 2014, 01:11:15 am
If there is a quote in the text response prompt, are we expected to use that as evidence somewhere within the piece? If Not, what is it used for?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 26, 2014, 01:18:02 am
Yes, you are expected to address the prompt in its entirety.
Quote from: literally lauren
Often it makes up a third, or even half of the prompt. You don't have to keep refering back to it in the same way as you would a regular question/statement based prompt, but the assessors have chosen that excerpt for a reason; try to use it to inform your discussion.
In terms of direct analysis, mentioning it in the first paragraph or two would be ideal, so that it doesn't feel tacked on at the end.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jono_CP on October 26, 2014, 02:07:03 am
Hi Lauren (response to your question),

I will write as Christopher Hitchens because I basically worship him, and he is highly relevant to Leunig's short stories of: Thou Shalt be Attractive and Away in a Chook Shed. E.g. rebelling against God as the dictator, no court of appeal in heaven/hell judgement etc, just heaps of stuff Leunig also touches on. And because I know so much about him, I can kind of really focus on the implicit Leunig ideas without worrying as to whether I am capturing his voice. I also think that there 'swimming against the tide nature' is similar if not identical.

One of my English teachers from my school said that I should write it before his death in terms of publication to retain that aspect of realism. What do you recommend? I am writing in Vanity Fair Magazine

For all I know, I could be so nervous so as to not do the exam, as anything can happen on a given exam day... But I've put heaps of quote, all over my wall which is so unrecognisable now coming to think of it... Hopefully the sub-conscious absorbs it and pops up into the front of my cerebral cortex when I am soo nervous as to not even think or particularly write, and just engage. HOPEFULLY

I feel like I am prepared but never know...

Also, I tend to write a lot when I can't think of anything... A lot of the high scoring responses are quite short, too short for my own liking but I don't know... Just depends whether the examiner reading mine can be bothered actually reading it etc.... so many variables to contend with


Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: mnewin on October 26, 2014, 10:42:49 am
Hi lauren,
I write expository essays so my body paragraphs have topics sentences etc. I'm having difficulty "explaining" or "elaborating" more on my ideas presented in my topic sentences. Usually my paragraph usually just consists of evidence and explaining how they relate to the prompt or my ideas. I'm wondering how far you'll get in terms of a mark out of 10 if I keep doing that. I'm finding it really difficult to explain more on ideas presented in topic sentences. Also, for starting an expository essay, what are some interesting ways to go about it instead of a contextualising sentence, in the past, I've done first person stories, personal anecdotes, quotes but am not sure if I can do it in the exam. Thank you so much.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: M_BONG on October 26, 2014, 02:20:40 pm
Hey Lauren, is it advisable to leave an empty line after each line for English?

Do assessors get annoyed because it's all spread out and stuff? Because I tend to edit my pieces and I find leaving an empty line easier.

Also, do they actually read your plan? Cuz I tend to scribble random crap on it like "write about Hal 4 bp 2" Does this leave a bad impression?
 

Thanks!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: senorr on October 26, 2014, 02:34:31 pm
Hey Lauren, is it advisable to leave an empty line after each line for English?

Do assessors get annoyed because it's all spread out and stuff? Because I tend to edit my pieces and I find leaving an empty line easier.

Also, do they actually read your plan? Cuz I tend to scribble random crap on it like "write about Hal 4 bp 2" Does this leave a bad impression?
 

Thanks!

if you mean leaving an empty space in every second line, that's kind of unnecessary.  and if you edit your pieces, while writing, it would be annoying for the assessor to read. it would also be time consuming, wouldnt it?
as for the plan, they do not scan it, so assessors will never see it. also, it's completely irrelevant to them, they just wanna read your essays as fast as possible and give it a mark for its content!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Billion on October 26, 2014, 07:16:54 pm
For a prompt (No Sugar - Play) such as "How does Davis use theatrical techniques to show _"
What really is classified as a theatrical technique? What should we talk about, and avoid?
E.g. dialect?

Thanks!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Mykindos on October 26, 2014, 10:31:53 pm
When using external sources for lets say conflict, I've always thought the best ones to use would be war, or lets say a situation where somebody is a bystander (relevant to The Quiet American), but apparently there is so much more I can draw ideas from, including TV Series, Movies, Theories, etc. Is this true?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: faredcarsking123 on October 26, 2014, 10:38:22 pm
Hey lads,

Do we need to underline the name of the article or speech in language analysis?

And if it is at a forum or convention, and we are given its name, do we need to underline it?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Yacoubb on October 27, 2014, 01:18:15 pm
Hey lads,

Do we need to underline the name of the article or speech in language analysis?

And if it is at a forum or convention, and we are given its name, do we need to underline it?

Put name of the article in quotation marks, and underline the newspaper/magazine it is published in. I don't imagine you'd need to underline a forum or convention. If it's italicised in the background information box, then I'd probably underline it. If not though, I don't imagine you'd need to do anything.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 27, 2014, 01:26:40 pm
Zeitgeist:
Well, I think that plan is preferable to writing as Hitchens from beyond the grave if that's what you're asking. The date and publication is a really minor thing; what matters is how and why you're using his voice. If you can answer those questions confidently then you'll be fine.
And just so you know, there are penalties for assessors who skim read or assign a vastly inappropriate mark. Because everything is moderated, they keep track of teachers whose judgements are off, and they usually just get rid of them if they have enough strikes next to their name (as in, they don't mark essays for VCAA anymore... they're still teachers though.)
Don't put too much onus on the assessors, the exam isn't full of as many variables as you think, and it doesn't just come down to a subjective impression. There are very real improvements you can make between now and then, so don't be disheartened!

mnewin:
That depends. If all you're lacking is sophistication, then you could still pull a mid-high band response. However, if where you struggle is relating your discussion to the prompt, then that would sway the mark considerably. I'd recommend going through the context section in the first post since there are some strategies there for elaboration and transition.
The first person voice can be good for intros, so long as it's clear and the link to your piece isn't too messy. Sample hybrid essays (on AN or in Assessor's Reports) might give you some other options. There's also an historical example that I was keen on using, though it didn't work for me in the exam. Link in the OP :)

Zezima:
Line breaks are totally up to you. If you think it would improve clarity or legibility then it's probably a good idea. You can always request an extra script book which shouldn't take longer than a few seconds to fill out. (From memory it's just your student number, and possible the date?) An assessor would rather read a spaced out piece that's legible than have to strain their eyes to pick out the non-crossed out sentences in a densely edited mess, so go with whatever works for you.
And no, your plan isn't even scanned. If they see weird little reminders scrawled in the margins, they just ignore it. You won't lose marks for anything you write there, but you also don't gain any, so don't rely on a plan to explain yourself or clarify your ideas; the essay is the only thing that matters.

Billion:
Rarely will a VCAA prompt be that vague. 'Theatrical techniques' could be anything; staging, blocking, mood, dialogue, motifs, etc. There's no concrete list, but I'd say try and acknowledge the performative aspects of the text. So many students ignore the fact that a play is meant to be performed, and they just treat it like a hard copy textual analysis. I can't think of anything to avoid, specifically. No Sugar is a new text so you're unlikely to get a structural question in the first year, but maybe go through the text and just work out what the most dominant devices and features are in case you need them for evidence :)

Mykindos:
Yep, you can go well and truly beyond the text provided you know how to link things. It's not compulsory though, and for many students the close examples work better anyway, so don't feel like you have to throw yourself into researching for the next two days.
A brief sample of things can be found here: External Examples :)

faredcarsking123:
Yacoubb beat me to it. Conventions like that aren't a big deal, the assessors are only really fussy if you alternate between 'single' and "double" quotations for no reason, or if you don't capitalise the author's name. Honestly, you wouldn't even have to mention the publication as the intro only really needs to cover the author, contention, form, and maybe tone or audience.
The analysis is where the marks are; but yeah, single quotes for a title, otherwise just rely on the conventions in the Background Info. They can't take a mark off if they've done it wrong too :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: mia-la-bella on October 27, 2014, 01:47:19 pm
Hello Lauren,

Is it advised against doing an abstract kind of creative piece. I've written a practice piece for 'The Quiet American', which is a story based on Plato's Analogy of the Cave in response to a topic about the necessity of conflict to progress or something about change or unfamiliar being the root of conflict. If a similar prompt were to appear in the exam on Wednesday I'd love to mould the piece to suit the prompt but I'm not sure if the assessors would like it- is it too difficult to see the links, etc. Do I need to be more abvious? Haha sorry if that didn't make sense ^.

Thanks!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: mia-la-bella on October 27, 2014, 02:20:20 pm
I can send a bit of the intro or something if it would help
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: knightrider on October 27, 2014, 05:47:09 pm
Hi Lauren.

I will be going into 3/4 English next year as a year 11 and do not want to repeat English as this is the last year with the old study design.

i really want to get a high score in English as i don't like the new study design.
What do you think are the best ways to study for English and achieve the maximum score possible.
When do you recommend reading your English texts and start writing essays.
I have identified my weakest section as context and we will be doing identity and belonging next year.How can i improve on this.
What else do you think is best preparation for English 3/4 and also how do you reckon i can best maximize my chance at doing well in the subject.

Thanks
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: walkec on October 27, 2014, 07:57:24 pm
Hi Lauren.

I will be going into 3/4 English next year as a year 11 and do not want to repeat English as this is the last year with the old study design.

i really want to get a high score in English as i don't like the new study design.
What do you think are the best ways to study for English and achieve the maximum score possible.
When do you recommend reading your English texts and start writing essays.
I have identified my weakest section as context and we will be doing identity and belonging next year.How can i improve on this.
What else do you think is best preparation for English 3/4 and also how do you reckon i can best maximize my chance at doing well in the subject.

Thanks

One question - how do you know you won't like the new study design if it has not yet been implemented?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 27, 2014, 08:07:23 pm
Read. A lot.

^ x ∞

It's tough for me to just make general statements on how to improve. Read through as many resources as you can, that's about all, unless you had a very specific question.
When identifying weaknesses, be more specific than just 'context.' Be as specific as possible, it makes it much easier to improve.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Mykindos on October 27, 2014, 08:11:46 pm
Hey lauren, back from what I said before about external references. Lets say I were to use Game of thrones as a reference, would I have to provide a little bit of background information on the show, just incase the assessor hasn't actually seen it themselves?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 27, 2014, 08:17:38 pm
Yes definitely. Even for something as culturally ubiquitous as GoT or Harry Potter, it's still good to spend half a sentence like, 'This is best exemplified in J.K. Rowling's famous series of books which chart the journey of a young wizard who...'

Try not to get too in-depth with your examples unless you can extricate yourself and link it well. Broadly applicable things are always better, especially in an exam scenario where your brain will be pumped with adrenaline and you don't want to run the risk of losing marks for irrelevance or lacking sophistication.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: w3dragon25 on October 27, 2014, 08:24:49 pm
Hi lauren,

I was wondering if you've posted (either here or elsewhere) your own essays you've written in Yr 12; just as last minute reading of exemplary pieces for this upcoming Wednesday, you know? Thank you, and I appreciate any help!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 27, 2014, 08:27:05 pm
Check the first post in this thread.
Anything with + sample contains an essay I've written; anything with + example has a breakdown of ideas and usually a sample demonstration.
The English Work Samples thread also contains high scoring responses from other AN contributors.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: mia-la-bella on October 27, 2014, 08:34:39 pm
Hi Lauren I sent you a pm regarding a question I had a little earlier. I wrote a context piece for Life of Galileo and it was a creative story from third person perspective about Plato's allegory of the cave for a prompt regarding conflict being necessary for progress. But I was wondering is such an abstract story would be advised against because the link might not be clear enough? Also how would you most smoothly incorporate external resources in cretive stories?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: w3dragon25 on October 27, 2014, 08:37:23 pm
Ah thanks! Also, was just wondering, what did you do for the last 1-2 days before your exams? For example, given that I shouldn't be cramming to much in, should I try planning different prompts; memorising quotes; reading external references for context; go over tones and vocab...etc? Are there any last minute advice for us poor students before the exam? I'm just really nervous and kinda stressed out as I go over notes and nothing's really sticking in!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 27, 2014, 08:41:43 pm
mia-la-bella:
Sorry I forgot to send you my little automated 'You are in a queue, plz hold' message didn't I?
I'm on my 3rd last essay in a string of 100+ from today, I should get to yours some time tonight.
Apologies for the delay, you year 12 kids are intense.

There's some helpful stuff on context in this thread that I've totally forgotten about. Links are on the first post, maybe go back and read those if you're bored :)


w3dragon25:
I'll be posting a 'what to do Tuesday' thing later tonight
Stay tuned for a preview of a very sleep-deprived Lauren ranting and raving about essay preparation!!!

preemptive tl;dr: don't stress.

As usual, Winnie the Pooh says it best:
(http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/236x/83/c6/26/83c626eb10ee275c0cca3fe7f6f2a837.jpg)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: mia-la-bella on October 27, 2014, 08:52:48 pm
Oops sorry haha wasn't sure if I sent it or not haven't used the pm function. I just sent a excerpt of it because I wasn't sure if the idea would even work at all :s
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Edward Elric on October 27, 2014, 09:02:54 pm
For text response questions

Does anyone know how to tackle 'to what extent questions', like can you say to a great extent however, other things are more important... So disregarding what the prompt is saying but, writing about something that is different that you feel is more important. So basically how far can you stray from the prompt.

Also are 'discuss' questions, so like deliberating both sides of the argument? Is there anything else to know for this style of questioning.

Lastly for 'Do you agree', can you partially agree, and say while its true in this case other times it can be contested. What else do we need to know for this style of questioning.

I know these may sound obvious, but I don't want to go into the exam confused on how to answer basic questions such as these. Thanks
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on October 27, 2014, 09:38:29 pm
100+
N-N...Not ACTUALLY 100+ though...





Right?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Jesse C on October 27, 2014, 10:55:02 pm
Only one day left!
Thanks once again for your help with language analysis, they are around 9's now thanks to you!
With text responses, exactly how much context should we give? I find that giving too much background info takes away from proper analysis, but im not sure exactly how much content examiners are looking for.

Hagen Koch was imbued with the Stasi's quasi-religious doctrine of 'self-created hells and heaven' as a child and thus became a 'paragon for a regime'. yada yada yada... However, Koch's mandate of rigorous protection for the plate suggests it's status as a symbol of 'getting out' of the Stasi's palimpsest reality and thus achieving redemption.

If you have not read Stasiland, don't worry. With the above, would it be necessary for me to talk about what he is achieving redemption for, if something triggered his desire to get out of the Stasi etc?
I feel as though every time I use a character as evidence(and I try to go for more than one per paragraph) I end up with a lot of filler and have to rush arguments. Could I also, regardless on your opinion of the above question, quote a similarity between two characters without giving context to one of them?

i.e, Likewise, Frau Paul's compulsion to 'hold onto the notes to her life' and her mandate to 'not on any account, exaggerate' depicts a woman ravished by guilt for 'deciding against her son', attempting to achieve redemption through objectifying her past and thus alleviating the anguish she has come to associate her perspective on life with.

That does of course give some context, but doesn't introduce the evidence someone separately to the analysis like a lot of responses seem to. Is this fine as long as the overall contention the evidence is supporting has already been introduced?
Thanks in advance!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 28, 2014, 12:55:45 am
Edward Elric:
The way the question is asked isn't a massive deal. For 'to what extent' you'd have to acknowledge a spectrum for whatever they're talking about. 'Discuss' is fairly generic, usually comes after a statement so that invites challenges. 'Do you agree' is fairly straightworward, but your response should always be more complex than 'yes' or 'no.'

Jesse C:
Minimise external evidence unless it's crucial, or at least ensure you're embedding it in sentences with textual evidence. You don't get much credit for it. Although Stasiland is one of the more historically dense texts, I'd still say there's very few points that would take longer than half a sentence to incorporate. Assume your assessor has some familiarity of the basic context and just try and stick to the core text as much as possible.
Yes, you could quote to compare characters purely for the sake of elucidating something about only one of them, but in any case the other character is probably worthy of analysis too. It depends on the prompt I suppose.
Sounds like you're okay with evidence integration, just don't be tempted to display all your knowledge of the text within the hour(-ish) you'll have tomorrow. Moderation and selection is important :)

N-N...Not ACTUALLY 100+ though...


Right?

(http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/4e/d4/0e/4ed40e5e1420182b97331596ad6e5469.jpg)

Nah, it's cool. Apparently I ended up writing over 100 prompts so it's only fair you guys got me back -.-
I was seriously surprised by that number when someone sent me a link to the fb page


I'm just typing up the Tuesday thing now so if ya'll could stop being so diligent and sending me 9 essays at a time, that'd be great. Give me half an hour and regular programing should resume.

To everyone who has PMed me, I will get through your pieces so help me god, but feedback may be sparse.
Same goes for anyone who plans on sending me stuff tomorrow. I'm more than happy to look through it, but please don't expect an extensive correction and conclusive list of everything you need to do within the next 24 hours because that simply isn't possible  :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 28, 2014, 02:24:07 am
Tuesday 28/10

As promised, here is a brief run-down of what I'd recommend you focus on for the next ~24 hours. What follows are a list of recommendations, not rules. I didn't follow half of these myself. Take them or leave them, and adapt to what suits you. There are no definitive necessities for what you need to know or how you should go about doing knowing it. At this point, it's all about what works for you; what's going to maximise your performance and confidence for tomorrow.

Don't take things too seriously either. Why do you think I put all those jokes in my practice exams? (Props to the three people who have spotted them so far) You'd go mad if you treated this like The-Most-Important-And-Accurate-Test-Of-Your-Worth-Ever. Even VCAA's not that mad (citation needed.) Perspective is more important than study scores.[/list]

See, it's as simple as DRTTDHD!
urgh what an ugly acronym. Brownie points for whoever can come up with a nice mnemonic.

PSA: with the exception of a couple of hours in the late morning/early afternoon, I will be here pretty much 24/7 until 9:00 tomorrow. For you people who've got proper sleeping patterns, (first of all, congratulations on making better life choices than me,) secondly, I won't be posting any major tips or hints or must-knows. This will simply be answering last minute concerns, so don't panic about frequently checking AN just in case there's one last thing that might be vastly important.



So although I'll be fielding as many queries as I can, and will be curious about how you all handled tomorrow's content, I'll bid you a collective good luck 2014ers! From the loyalists who've been here longer than me to the lurkers I'll never know, I wish you guys all the best and hope everything works out for you in the end :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: faredcarsking123 on October 28, 2014, 08:40:50 am
One last question for you guys before the exam  :) :D ;) ;D :o ??? ::) :-\ :-* :'(

What are the time shifts used for in ACC?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Selcouth on October 28, 2014, 08:45:56 am
In my context piece can I use both texts I studied?

Thanks!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Sanguinne on October 28, 2014, 08:51:52 am
Would the contention and paragraphs be sufficient for the text response question for Brooklyn:
"The nature of personal freedom is the true subject of Brooklyn"

Contention: Migration allows us to partially overcome our past limitations.
Paragraph 1: Migration allows weak individuals to overpower the constraints on their freedom
Paragraph 2: Yet, this is only partial, we cannot fully overcome limits on ourselves.
Paragraph 3: Nature of our control overselves being oscillating, changing depending on where we are.
Paragraph 4: There are other qualities than freedom that prevent it from being the true subject.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: millie96 on October 28, 2014, 09:12:05 am
Hi everyone, my conflict piece is about social constructs and moral imposition
If anyone could brainstorm anything to do with morals and making decisions please let me know!

New environments create conflict
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Valyria on October 28, 2014, 09:23:41 am
Hello,

When we are responding to a "how does the author..." question and our first paragraph is on structure, do we have to explicitly mention the exposition/climax/denouement of the novel or can we just generally talk about the past and present?

Thanks :D
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 28, 2014, 10:05:05 am
faredcarsking123:
Try and keep the text-specific stuff to text-specific threads, especially when there are so many clever ACC people to help out. At this point, try and answer these sorts of questions for yourself though. There's not much point in someone else providing you with set equations of 'time shifts mean ___' and 'narrative voice means ___.' If you work round to these ideas yourself, it will be much easier to implement and demonstrate than something someone else told you was "right."

Selcouth:
There's nothing stopping you, but it's kinda a waste of time. You'll have to write which text is your 'Primary Text Drawn Upon' and so you're not really getting credit for anything else beyond this. The texts are starting points, try to move beyond them.

Sanguinne:
Careful not to conflate freedom with migration; they are not necessarily the same thing.
Other than that, your T.S. sound fine.

millie96:
Again, doing this yourself will be a far more valuable task. It's one thing to want to conduct a mutually beneficial brainstorming, it's another to simply mine others for ideas. Try and hint at some avenues to get yourself started. Rather than saying your piece is "about social construct and morality," think about what you're trying to say through your piece. I could list a hundred things that have something to do with morals and making decisions, but chances are 98 of them would be irrelevant to your message, and the other two are probably ones you've already thought about.

Valyria:
You don't have to, but the metalanguage helps. Talking about the past and present should be sufficient, but if there's an opportunity to use structural vocab, then I'd go for it. But for most texts you wouldn't have to strictly delineated the orientation, complication or resolution.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Selcouth on October 28, 2014, 02:23:42 pm
This question has probably already been answered... so sorry in advance!

If in Section C there is a comments section, how do we integrate that into our piece??
Do we mention them in the introduction or just devote 1 body paragraph to them or interweave them into our piece another way?

Thanks
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: mia-la-bella on October 28, 2014, 02:28:32 pm
I'll give it a go. I don't think there is a set way it's up to you. In past I have grouped them together based on contention and also analysed very briefly if they were contending something. Sometimes you can interweave them into your paragraphs as a comment on how particular audiences respond to the article. I generally give a very brief 1-2 sentence generic sort of overview of them in the introduction.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Yacoubb on October 28, 2014, 04:27:14 pm
For any sections we are required to shade on the exam, do we use pencil or pen?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: doomdestroyer on October 28, 2014, 04:29:30 pm
For any sections we are required to shade on the exam, do we use pencil or pen?

I would use whatever, be it pencil, pen, highlighter, whatever i grab first, unless otherwise specified.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: DJA on October 28, 2014, 04:49:37 pm
Where on the booklet do we nominate our key text for section B Lauren??

stupidest question ever - stress is getting to me please humour me
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Vermilliona on October 28, 2014, 04:55:11 pm
Where can I get a dictionary if I don't have one at home/am afraid the school library won't have one left over for me??? Do most bookshops sell them??
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Billion on October 28, 2014, 04:56:15 pm
Where on the booklet do we nominate our key text for section B Lauren??

stupidest question ever - stress is getting to me please humour me
http://www.vcaa.vic.edu.au/Documents/exams/english/2014/english%202014_answerbook.pdf
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: anna.xo on October 28, 2014, 04:59:05 pm
This question has probably already been answered... so sorry in advance!

If in Section C there is a comments section, how do we integrate that into our piece??
Do we mention them in the introduction or just devote 1 body paragraph to them or interweave them into our piece another way?

Thanks

This ^^

Does this mean it is a comparative piece or what ? Because right now I am using 'comments' as a supporting technique and I am not quite sure if that's supposed to be right or wrong :/
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 28, 2014, 05:14:42 pm
Just for urgency, (I'll answer the rest of these next)
Vermilliona:
Officeworks (though most close at 5 I think) bookstores, and newsagents. The latter is probably your best bet. You might be able to borrow one from the reference section of a local library (some have rules about borrowing reference books, but I'm sure if you explained why they'd make allowances.)

If all else fails, family friends/neighbours? I wouldn't trust the school to have one; last year we had about 20 students rock up early thinking this, and by 6:30 all our dictionaries were gone.

I'd go for a newsagents place though, hopefully there's one near your local shops or something :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Vermilliona on October 28, 2014, 05:22:12 pm
Thanks for the preference Lauren - I found a 'little macquarie dictionary' with 44,000 definitions at the back of my bookshelf, do you think that should suffice? Thanks again, you're a gem
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 28, 2014, 05:43:18 pm
Selcouth:
Structure by key players (explanation on the first page of this thread) and then integrate at least one comment towards the end of every paragraph. This is not an officially mandated structure, but that is my best recommendation.
Your introduction will deal with the core text as normal, then have an extra sentence like 'The article was also accompanied by several comments spanning a variety of views from members of the public.'
Again, there are different ways of doing this, but ^this is nice and safe.

Yacoubb:
Use pen, but don't panic if you forget. I'm sure your assessors will be able to work out which text/topic you're doing fairly quickly.
You'll have to do this for nominating your chosen Section A text and prompt, as well as which Context you're studying.

I would highly recommend everybody look over a scan of the answer booklet before tomorrow (http://www.vcaa.vic.edu.au/Documents/exams/english/2014/english%202014_answerbook.pdf) -thank you Billion! :)

DJA:
There'll be a box at the top of the first Section B writing page in your answer booklet that says 'Primary text drawn upon:______' or something like that. The Contexts, the texts, and their authors/directors are all on the previous page if you have a total mental blank :)

anna.xo
Treat the comments as separate texts with their own author, contention, and attempts to persuade the audience. I have never seen a task that had comments that were deliberately included by the author as a means of furthering their own contention.

Vermilliona:
Macquaries are the best, you'll be fine. VCAA don't usually try and stump you anyway, and 44,000 words should cover everything :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: anna.xo on October 28, 2014, 05:48:38 pm
anna.xo
Treat the comments as separate texts with their own author, contention, and attempts to persuade the audience. I have never seen a task that had comments that were deliberately included by the author as a means of furthering their own contention.

Thanks Lauren !!
Like for your first exam how it had comments from the teachers/students..how would I incorporate that in ? Do I have to talk about all of the comments in a seperate paragraph or what ? Because right now I'm trying to like you say, use it to show how it supports the author's contention by showing support or whatever.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: George_D on October 28, 2014, 06:02:20 pm
Hey guys,
Just wondering,
As no Statement of Intention (SOI) is required/allowed in the exam, how are you meant to show who your audience is? If I'm planning on doing an expository piece, do I even have to make it clear who my audience?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: AmericanBeauty on October 28, 2014, 06:04:03 pm
Macquaries are the best, you'll be fine. VCAA don't usually try and stump you anyway, and 44,000 words should cover everything :)
My ego is overinflated before my English exam - mine has 140,000 definition word thingos. hehehe. so jealous this bad boy takes like ten minutes to find a word
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: M_BONG on October 28, 2014, 06:39:11 pm
hey Lauren. :)


A quick question for LA, is it fine to analyse using colloquial/ conversational tones?

Such asL this causes the audience to see 'the world is in their hands'

or

It forces them to 'calm down'


or it forces them to 'play a part'

Also in terms of idioms, is it fine to add them as well. Eg. Instead of saying the 'world is in their hands', what if I were to say this forces them to see that 'the world is their oyster?'.
 

Note: those aren't direct quotations from the piece, but my own analysis.
Do they find that too informal or conversational? I don't do it often, but sometimes I don't have a formal word to try to convey what I am saying..
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: millie96 on October 28, 2014, 07:45:36 pm
Should we write the topic we have selected or just shade the box?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: doomdestroyer on October 28, 2014, 07:51:45 pm
Should we write the topic we have selected or just shade the box?

You shade the boxes, we have to do enough writing as it is  :P
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Mykindos on October 28, 2014, 07:58:38 pm
You shade the boxes, we have to do enough writing as it is  :P

As far as I know, you have to say which question you are responding to at the top of each page, so for text response it might be: Question 18, i or ii since you are given 2 prompts.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: anna.xo on October 28, 2014, 07:58:52 pm
Was 2011 language analysis supposed to be comparative ? I am so worried if it turns out to be ! Please someone advise before I kill myself :'(
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: coezooke on October 28, 2014, 08:07:44 pm
Hi Lauren,
With regard to language analysis conclusions should you mention the effectiveness of the overall piece? My teachers have always encouraged me to do so, but I've been told otherwise at lectures i've been to.
What do you believe is a sufficient conclusion?
Thanks, Zoe
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on October 28, 2014, 08:12:56 pm
Was 2011 language analysis supposed to be comparative ? I am so worried if it turns out to be ! Please someone advise before I kill myself :'(
It's not supposed to be anything. Comparative isn't on the criteria sheet. The comments were there and probably should have been addressed. If they weren't addressed, at least some part of the task wasn't hit as adequately as it could have been. If they were addressed but weren't directly compared with the main body of language then... oh well.

(Also, if people could refrain from the above unless it's a legitimate cry for help, that would be good).
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: imcharmander on October 28, 2014, 08:15:25 pm
Hey Lauren,

for the prompt Survivors of conflict are forever shaped by their experience, would it still be relevant to the topic if i say witnesses are also affected/shaped? (i know this is kind of last minute prep haha)
thanks heaps!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: anna.xo on October 28, 2014, 08:20:39 pm
It's not supposed to be anything. Comparative isn't on the criteria sheet. The comments were there and probably should have been addressed. If they weren't addressed, at least some part of the task wasn't hit as adequately as it could have been. If they were addressed but weren't directly compared with the main body of language then... oh well.

(Also, if people could refrain from the above unless it's a legitimate cry for help, that would be good).
Thankyou very much ! Because currently I am using them to show how its supportive of author's contention..basically like a technique. Is this okay to do ?

And apologies for the theatrics, won't happen again :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on October 28, 2014, 08:34:33 pm
Thankyou very much ! Because currently I am using them to show how its supportive of author's contention..basically like a technique. Is this okay to do ?

And apologies for the theatrics, won't happen again :)

Hmmm.. You can do it, but it's not necessarily the best... I mean - what if the comments disagree with the author's contention? It's best to talk about the comments like a piece on their own - and if they agree with the author's contention, then you could talk about how the language reinforces the author's contention, but if not, then you just talk about how the author of the comment uses language to persuade a target audience AGAINST an author's contention.

No worries :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 28, 2014, 08:36:56 pm
imcharmander:
Yes, but so long as you're acknowledging the difference between survivors and witnesses. It could make for an interesting contrast, but if you just wrote an essay that conflated the two then you might risk losing a few marks for relevance. Should be fine if you can justify it though.

And yes, thank you Brenden :)
anna.xo: comments are not put there as techniques by the main author; they have their own individual authors and contentions. Just discuss the main text like you normally would, find a point of contrast or comparison, shift your focus for a few sentences, and go back to the main article.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: anna.xo on October 28, 2014, 08:38:00 pm
Hmmm.. You can do it, but it's not necessarily the best... I mean - what if the comments disagree with the author's contention? It's best to talk about the comments like a piece on their own - and if they agree with the author's contention, then you could talk about how the language reinforces the author's contention, but if not, then you just talk about how the author of the comment uses language to persuade a target audience AGAINST an author's contention.

No worries :)
Then I only use the one that supports it. And if none of them do, then I ignore them.

So you're saying I should write a separate compare and contrast paragraph with the comments ? Correct me if I've misunderstood

I can do that, thanks heaps !!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: anna.xo on October 28, 2014, 08:38:50 pm
And thankyou Lauren as well !
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Blondie21 on October 28, 2014, 08:39:48 pm
Hmmm.. You can do it, but it's not necessarily the best... I mean - what if the comments disagree with the author's contention? It's best to talk about the comments like a piece on their own - and if they agree with the author's contention, then you could talk about how the language reinforces the author's contention, but if not, then you just talk about how the author of the comment uses language to persuade a target audience AGAINST an author's contention.

No worries :)
wait

so we can comment on the persuasive devices used by the author of the comments if they disagree with the author of the main text??? cool.

also,
if the text response question is a 'how' question, does ALL the evidence need to be about the structure of the text? or can it just be the majority?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on October 28, 2014, 08:46:11 pm
wait

so we can comment on the persuasive devices used by the author of the comments if they disagree with the author of the main text??? cool.

also,
if the text response question is a 'how' question, does ALL the evidence need to be about the structure of the text? or can it just be the majority?
It wouldn't even need to be about the structure of the main text.

"How does Author X exemplify the importance of Value X"

-Through the characterisation of their protagonist
-Through X type depiction of society
-Through structure.

Structure is always good because it's impressive evidence, but "How" paragraphs doesn't always mean "On an extremely technical level, how does the author...?"

And yeah, you can definitely analyse comments that disagree!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 28, 2014, 08:49:16 pm
anna.xo:
Can't speak for others, but what I'm saying is you'll have 3-4 regular paragraphs on the core text + visuals. At the end of each paragraph, that's where you do the contrasting. I know some people recommend one para at the end for ALL the comparison, but that seems a bit clunky to me. Can work well if you're in a jam though.

Blondie21:
Yes, definitely! Analyse the comments as though they were mini-articles; what does each author want you to think, and what language devices have they employed to do so? Don't go overboard though, as most comparative tasks only have very short comparative section, and there'll be REALLY OBVIOUS CONNECTIONS! see: 2011 exam, core text discusses dangerous risks of tattoos, commenter Dr. AB lists a bunch of gross medical issues caused by tattoos. One of the visuals was of Ta Moko, a New Zealandish body art, and another commenter 'Kiwi' discussed the historical weight of this artform.
VCAA aren't often subtle.

Re: T.R. not necessarily. All your evidence is about constructions though, be they characters, quotes or themes. 'How' questions tend to frazzle people, but you can just as easily begin your discussion with a bit of structural discussion, and then work out to V&V stuff just like normal :)
"How does Author X exemplify the importance of Value X"

-Through the characterisation of their protagonist
-Through X type depiction of society
-Through structure.
^what he said.
Regardless of your text, you don't need to delve into a bunch of jargonistic metalanguage; everything in the text is a structure, and thus a construction, it's all about how you zoom in and out of that spectrum when applying evidence.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Rod on October 28, 2014, 08:50:14 pm
Hi Lauren

Would just like to thank you for all this hard work and dedication you've put in this thread, and all her helpers (Brenden etc). You've really made our lives much easier with all this free feedback, free practise exams, free help threads and preparation before the exam!!

All your advice has been invaluable to me and my friends this year!!

Thank you!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on October 28, 2014, 08:56:25 pm
Btw guys - http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en - has been very helpful for me before exams. Basically, make yourself physically big and powerful. It works.



Yeah, I'd also like to thank Lauren! At times, I've looked on in awe thinking, "how the fuck can you do so much work", so it's needless to note what a huge contribution she's/(you've - if you're Lauren) made to the community. It's been truly admirable and of Tolstoyan proportions. Just crazy and amazing. I'm sure there are many students out there who once would have been lost for words in expressing their gratefulness, but can now delivered appropriate and cogent responses tailored to the task.

(and I've totally had to do less work yay)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 28, 2014, 09:16:25 pm
ergh, sorry, I have about twelve dozen tabs open which is perhaps not the best way of going about things. Typed this up but forgot to post  :-\


George D:
If you're writing a regular expository essay then you shouldn't have to worry about audience. If it's a speech, then have something at the start like 'Good morning ladies and gentlemen of the United States Art Appreciation Society, today I'm here to talk to you about...' or preferably something less clunky depending on your form. Apologies if I've misinterpreted your question; let me know what form you're doing if you'res still confused.

Zezima:
Try and use more formal language wherever possible. If all else fails, write the simpler/colloquial word and put a mark on the side of the page. Do this for all spelling uncertainties, possible misquotes, or areas you're just iffy about. That way, if you have time at the end, you'll be able to edit quickly and efficiently since you know where everything is.
I'd also advice against using dictionaries unless you are very confident in your timing. I left mine till the end, since it's more important to finish your essay and have it be structurally and ideologically sound than it is to spell a word right. The latter is a lot easier to fix too, especially if you only have a few minutes, or even seconds left at the end.

millie96:
Just shade the box. If you're writing a good essay, it should be clear within two to three sentences which topic you're dealing with anyway.

coezooke:
There are a bunch of threads at the moment with recommended concl. structure, so take a look at those if you need.
You're definitely not meant to discuss effectiveness or overall persuadability (?) of the articles. My pattern was to begin the concl. by summing up how the author concludes their piece, link this to a major concern, appeal, or dichotomy evident within the article, and the some general statement about how language was used overall, or how the author wants readers to think/feel/act by the end.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: M_BONG on October 28, 2014, 09:31:26 pm
ergh, sorry, I have about twelve dozen tabs open which is perhaps not the best way of going about things. Typed this up but forgot to post  :-\


George D:
If you're writing a regular expository essay then you shouldn't have to worry about audience. If it's a speech, then have something at the start like 'Good morning ladies and gentlemen of the United States Art Appreciation Society, today I'm here to talk to you about...' or preferably something less clunky depending on your form. Apologies if I've misinterpreted your question; let me know what form you're doing if you'res still confused.

Zezima:
Try and use more formal language wherever possible. If all else fails, write the simpler/colloquial word and put a mark on the side of the page. Do this for all spelling uncertainties, possible misquotes, or areas you're just iffy about. That way, if you have time at the end, you'll be able to edit quickly and efficiently since you know where everything is.
I'd also advice against using dictionaries unless you are very confident in your timing. I left mine till the end, since it's more important to finish your essay and have it be structurally and ideologically sound than it is to spell a word right. The latter is a lot easier to fix too, especially if you only have a few minutes, or even seconds left at the end.

millie96:
Just shade the box. If you're writing a good essay, it should be clear within two to three sentences which topic you're dealing with anyway.

coezooke:
There are a bunch of threads at the moment with recommended concl. structure, so take a look at those if you need.
You're definitely not meant to discuss effectiveness or overall persuadability (?) of the articles. My pattern was to begin the concl. by summing up how the author concludes their piece, link this to a major concern, appeal, or dichotomy evident within the article, and the some general statement about how language was used overall, or how the author wants readers to think/feel/act by the end.
Oh just going on what you said there, I am not at a huuge disadvantage if I don't have a dictionary? I am thinking of waking up at 6:30 to get to school to borrow one (takes me an hour to get there, that's why). If I don't get one, am I at a disadvantage for LA? Or don't bother?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on October 28, 2014, 09:33:40 pm
Shit man - you'd want a dictionary just in case... Like, what if both your text response prompts had a word you didn't know in it? Or the context prompt did for some reason o.o

edit: Stuff getting up at 6.30 tho... You don't have like an epic friend who lives close to you who has a spare dictionary, or an epic friend at the same school who has their dictionary but also an old one lying around the house?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: George_D on October 28, 2014, 09:34:40 pm

George D:
If you're writing a regular expository essay then you shouldn't have to worry about audience. If it's a speech, then have something at the start like 'Good morning ladies and gentlemen of the United States Art Appreciation Society, today I'm here to talk to you about...' or preferably something less clunky depending on your form. Apologies if I've misinterpreted your question; let me know what form you're doing if you'res still confused.


Thanks for answering Lauren, that clears up my question, I'm using a formal expository piece for Part B, so if I've correctly interpreted, I guess I do not have to worry about audience.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 28, 2014, 09:38:06 pm
Zezima,
Try and find one if you can - maybe check with a neighbour or family friend nearby. It pays to have one just in case, but VCAA would never centre an entire piece around words the state can't understand. They need it to be accessible, but with enough opportunities for complexity to suit the clever students.
It would be weird if the T.R. or Context prompts did this, but it could happen. I'd try and get one for peace of mind, but it's not worth screwing up a sleep schedule and making yourself tired at that hour of the morning.
As a last resort, maybe go check with whichever teachers are around, as most of them will have dictionaries (that they will maybe lend out to their absolute favouritest students if you say pretty please with a cherry on top?)

It's worth having just as a security blanket, otherwise you could compromise your approach to one of the tasks, but if all else fails, don't stress, you should be able to infer from context, or work around a difficult word.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: demand&supply on October 28, 2014, 09:41:14 pm
what happens if i misquote in my essay? Will i lose a lot of marks...even when it can be very relevant to my argument (Section A, In the Country of men)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Michael Scofield on October 28, 2014, 09:43:03 pm
How do you incorporate comments into the LA? Do you state their contention in the intro or not?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on October 28, 2014, 09:44:21 pm
what happens if i misquote in my essay? Will i lose a lot of marks...even when it can be very relevant to my argument (Section A, In the Country of men)
I had misquotes in my Section A that score full marks, so I wouldn't worry about it (aim to be as accurate as possible though, and don't misquote deliberately. If you know it's wrong, paraphrase with brackets and make it sounds as correct as possible :P

Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: 24bauer12 on October 28, 2014, 09:48:27 pm
Hi Demand&supply,
No, examiners are very forgiving of errors under exam pressure; however, if it becomes a habit your assessor will definitely deduct marks. If order to achieve full marks you need not act like a robot; however, you must be certain to fulfill all the criterion.
Hi Michael Scofield,
Yes definitely include them in the intro; all you need is a simple: The article was accompanied by an assortment of comments each which despite the author's contention for different reasons . 
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 28, 2014, 09:53:13 pm
what happens if i misquote in my essay? Will i lose a lot of marks...even when it can be very relevant to my argument (Section A, In the Country of men)

I forgot to analyse the title in the 2013 L.A. article. And there was so much you could say about that metaphor of getting 'back on the rails'...
It just totally slipped my mind, and it wasn't until afterwards that someone was like, 'Hey Lauren, you're good with metaphors, what did you say about the title?' And I was like 'oh yeah, titles exist.'
The assessors know you're going to make mistakes, don't worry.
Just try not to make them too obvious, you don't want to give them any excuse to take marks off :)

Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: demand&supply on October 28, 2014, 10:09:19 pm
okay thanks everyone for your comforting words  ;D it took away some stress i had
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 29, 2014, 09:02:38 am
Ahhh... peace and quiet at last  8)

Sorry I couldn't respond to all the delightful 'thank-you's till I finished today. To all my lovely PMers, rest assured, I did read them, and I felt in equal measures warm, and fuzzy :)
I'd like to thank you all too. It's inspiring to see so many people not only caring enough to conquer VCE, but wanting to help others through it as well. The advice, support, and goodwill I've seen on these forums is truly amazing and will stay with you longer than any ATAR or Study Score.

I hope all goes well for everyone during the exam period and beyond :)

...this board is going to be so quiet for the next 6 months  :'(
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on October 29, 2014, 09:17:20 am
Ahhh... peace and quiet at last  8)

Sorry I couldn't respond to all the delightful 'thank-you's till I finished today. To all my lovely PMers, rest assured, I did read them, and I felt in equal measures warm, and fuzzy :)
I'd like to thank you all too. It's inspiring to see so many people not only caring enough to conquer VCE, but wanting to help others through it as well. The advice, support, and goodwill I've seen on these forums is truly amazing and will stay with you longer than any ATAR or Study Score.

I hope all goes well for everyone during the exam period and beyond :)

...this board is going to be so quiet for the next 6 months  :'(
Lol, are you kidding? You think the Class of 2015 is going to ignore the opportunity to make you help them over summer? Good joke.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 29, 2014, 09:26:35 am
Just let me enjoy my moment of silence, okay? :P
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on October 29, 2014, 09:27:44 am
Just let me enjoy my moment of silence, okay? :P
You've got about three hours. Enjoy it :p
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 29, 2014, 09:32:39 am
You've got about three hours. Enjoy it :p
omg so quiet

wonder how tough the exam is... I'd put money on a comparative L.A. and some challenging prompts for the 4th year texts.
Like- not evil, but challenging.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on October 29, 2014, 09:34:57 am
omg so quiet

wonder how tough the exam is... I'd put money on a comparative L.A. and some challenging prompts for the 4th year texts.
Like- not evil, but challenging.
I'll send you an mms in about an hour and put it on the forums once I... Work out how to. I'm also super curious to see the exam (primarily Sec A and C)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 29, 2014, 09:39:02 am
I'll send you an mms in about an hour and put it on the forums once I... Work out how to. I'm also super curious to see the exam (primarily Sec A and C)
lol, go away Section B, no one loves you

wait, one hour? That's not after 12:15
and I totally didn't have to count on my fingers

Do you have some secret VCAA connections I should know about?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on October 29, 2014, 09:51:07 am
lol, go away Section B, no one loves you

wait, one hour? That's not after 12:15
and I totally didn't have to count on my fingers

Do you have some secret VCAA connections I should know about?
Teacher's get the script at 10.30 once the doors close ;)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on October 29, 2014, 09:53:24 am
what, and they, like, pass it round to each other and discuss topics and interpretations and approaches? God, what nerds.

wait...
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on October 29, 2014, 09:54:11 am
Hahahahahahahahaha :')
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: keltingmeith on October 29, 2014, 09:59:00 am
Lol, are you kidding? You think the Class of 2015 is going to ignore the opportunity to make you help them over summer? Good joke.
You're forgetting about all the Class of 2014 running back here to discuss how they handled each section, hoping that either of you can validate their approach to the prompt. ;P
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on October 29, 2014, 10:01:08 am
You're forgetting about all the Class of 2014 running back here to discuss how they handled each section, hoping that either of you can validate their approach to the prompt. ;P
Nah, we're about to make a whole specific board just for that to happen :p
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: IndefatigableLover on October 29, 2014, 11:02:42 am
Lol, are you kidding? You think the Class of 2015 is going to ignore the opportunity to make you help them over summer? Good joke.
Haha I can confirm that I will be one of those people making the most of that opportunity ;D

Btw @literally lauren and @Brenden, Awesome work throughout the year for English you too!!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: keltingmeith on October 29, 2014, 12:10:32 pm
Nah, we're about to make a whole specific board just for that to happen :p

I did think you were joking... Now I'm scared. I don't think I understand the amount of discussion that's going to evolve. .__.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: AmericanBeauty on October 29, 2014, 03:20:33 pm
Lauren your awesome. Thanks for all the help. you're a genius. answering only a few of my questions throughout the year has pushed me in a direction that i never thought was possible. thank you. you're awesome. i love you. marry me. you're the king of english, best teacher. you're altruistic awesomeness cannot be matched.

:) Enjoy the break!!! Until the 2015'ers :P
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Paulrus on October 29, 2014, 03:44:07 pm
just wanted to say to both lauren and brenden, thank you for all your help this year! regardless of how i may have gone on the exam, i know i would have done a lot worse without your help.
you guys are amazing, thank you so much!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Yacoubb on October 29, 2014, 11:44:24 pm
Thank you SO much for this year :) you have been of great help!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Rishi97 on October 30, 2014, 06:54:15 am
Thank you SO much for this year :) you have been of great help!

Agreed!!!
Lauren you are an angel thank you sooo much for helping us :)
And guys, regardless of the outcome don't be disappointed we all tried our hardest :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: scandin9 on November 05, 2014, 03:43:00 pm
Hi Lauren,
When commenting on the impact upon the reader in an L.A is it necessary to comment on how different readers may react to a particular piece of language? Also, how would you comment on a technique like hypophora; what is the general effect on the reader? btw i am a year 11. Thanks so much for your help throughout the year! :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on November 07, 2014, 03:14:53 pm
Hi Lauren,
When commenting on the impact upon the reader in an L.A is it necessary to comment on how different readers may react to a particular piece of language? Also, how would you comment on a technique like hypophora; what is the general effect on the reader? btw i am a year 11. Thanks so much for your help throughout the year! :)

Splitting the readership can be helpful, but you're not meant to use a great deal of outside information. Stick to what they give you in the background info. ie. if they mention it's a speech to teachers and students, then it's perfectly fine to split your discussion with sentences like: 'This appeal would be particularly resonant with students given the author's populist attack on homework as a "waste of time" etc. What you don't want to do is over-generalise. For instance, if an author is using statistics, there's not need to discuss how this targets members of the community who are mathematically minded, unless that's been specified in the background info (eg. speech at a science conference or something.)

Commenting on hypophora can be as simple as commenting on a rhetorical question: 'The author hypophorically/rhetorically questions whether...'
The general effect isn't much use I'm afraid. A sentence like 'this rhetorical question encourages readers to question their own beliefs' is probably worth negative marks :P Try to always make this specific to the situational context, otherwise there's probably no sense using that technique :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: IndefatigableLover on November 12, 2014, 10:36:25 pm
Hey Lauren

What's the best way in getting feedback from someone? I'm going to start trialling writing small pieces of text (so like one paragraph and then get feedback on it and refine it etc.) since I feel the feedback I'm getting from teacher's isn't worthwhile.. so if I continue to do this throughout next year, when would be a good time to stop and start handing in an actual essay for them to correct?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: walkec on November 13, 2014, 06:52:06 am
Hey Lauren

What's the best way in getting feedback from someone? I'm going to start trialling writing small pieces of text (so like one paragraph and then get feedback on it and refine it etc.) since I feel the feedback I'm getting from teacher's isn't worthwhile.. so if I continue to do this throughout next year, when would be a good time to stop and start handing in an actual essay for them to correct?

To answer your first question, the best way to get feedback is to hand something in to begin with! I don't think refining what you've already written will be the most productive way to use your time. Rather you would be better to pay attention to the feedback and then apply it to the next paragraph or text that you write.

Can I ask why you think your teacher's feedback isn't worthwhile?

Lauren can vouch for me on this, but never never never never ever hand in full essays until you are ready to write them. This means for text response, having a solid knowledge of the text or for context, when you have many ideas to work with. If you write before this stage, most of what you write will be superficial and not be the best use of your time. I started writing practice essays before SACs, and did the occasional L.A. throughout the year and then really stepped it up about 2/3 through term 3 when I had decided on my texts for the exam.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on November 14, 2014, 09:39:29 am
Hey Lauren

What's the best way in getting feedback from someone? I'm going to start trialling writing small pieces of text (so like one paragraph and then get feedback on it and refine it etc.) since I feel the feedback I'm getting from teacher's isn't worthwhile.. so if I continue to do this throughout next year, when would be a good time to stop and start handing in an actual essay for them to correct?

Definitely with walkec on this one, it'd be better to get feedback before you start editing and refining your work. In my experience, refining is most effective when you're written something in time constraints (usually one hour per essay, though most people work up to this goal throughout the year) and then you give yourself the chance to go back over and correct any mistakes. There's no real reason why you should be imposing harsh time limits just yet, the focus at this point (and probably until about halfway through your Year 12) should be fine-tuning your approach and making sure your conceptual understanding is solid. Only then would you start cutting down on timing and working out how long it takes you to write a whole piece.

It's way more important to be able to write properly, even if it takes you five hours, than to be able to write some gibberish in 30 minutes but be able to 'refine' it into something presentable in the remaining 30. The best approach imo is to spend however long you need honing your skills throughout the year and only start worrying about timing in about Term 3.

Essentially it's a lot easier to go from writing something sophisticated in three hours to writing something sophisticated in one hour, than it is to go from writing something simplistic in one hour to something sophisticated in one hour.
^if that makes any sense?

For each task there is some advantage to writing smaller paragraphs, but that's really only a small exercise and not a valid substitute for whole essays. The skills you'd learn from writing one paragraph of language analysis (eg. pattern of analysing, how to select what to analyse, which vocab to use) is only part of what you'd need to do in a whole essay (paragraph structure and focus, overall depth and breadth etc.)

If you find yourself struggling in one particular area then writing bits and pieces might be helpful, but I wouldn't rely on this as a means of getting feedback. You might have a refined paragraph that's worth a 9, but that's not the standard you're at, it's just what one paragraph is capable of. Almost anyone can refine part of their work and turn it into something high scoring, but it's only through a bunch of entire essays that you'd get a valid indication of where you're at.

Basically the paragraphs might be good for checking your skillset or trying something new, but I'd say it's usually better to write a whole piece. Remember, English isn't just about writing; the reading and discussion you do throughout the year can be just as helpful, so don't feel like churning out work is the only way to learn.
Can I ask why you think your teacher's feedback isn't worthwhile?
...and is there any reason why their feedback would be better in smaller doses? (I'm assuming this is your current Year 11 teacher, and you'll have someone different next year?)
But if you still aren't getting the necessary feedback, AN has a wonderful community corrections network :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: AllG_ on November 14, 2014, 12:07:55 pm
Hey guys, so I heard about some kind of 'AN English Submission' site where you can submit your English essays for correction - could somebody please provide me with a link?
Thanks in advance :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: The Usual Student on November 14, 2014, 01:57:50 pm
Hey Lauren !
I get penalised in my text response pieces because my paragraphs are too long and I have crammed too many ideas under one major idea that the paragraph is based on. I am very thorough with my text response pieces and I want or include many different examples and  idea under one major one. I was thinking about  splitting up my paragraphs but does that then mean each new paragraph needs to have a central idea? For instance , I wrote a paragraph about the threat of intelligence in 1984 and used more micro idea under that major one. The paragraph went on for ages! So I wanted to split up the paragraph but since all my ideas take the idea of the threat intelligence from different angles, I didn't know how I could formulate another central idea forms too start a new paragraph. .... Am I making sense? It's kinda hard to explain.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on November 14, 2014, 02:35:26 pm
Hey guys, so I heard about some kind of 'AN English Submission' site where you can submit your English essays for correction - could somebody please provide me with a link?
Thanks in advance :)
Hey AllG, the Submissions page is accessible from the general English Studies board which branches off into all the different English subjects.
Link is here: English Work Submission and Marking
It's pretty quiet at the moment, but generally the people who give a lot of good feedback get help in return :)

Hey Lauren !
I get penalised in my text response pieces because my paragraphs are too long and I have crammed too many ideas under one major idea that the paragraph is based on. I am very thorough with my text response pieces and I want or include many different examples and  idea under one major one. I was thinking about  splitting up my paragraphs but does that then mean each new paragraph needs to have a central idea? For instance , I wrote a paragraph about the threat of intelligence in 1984 and used more micro idea under that major one. The paragraph went on for ages! So I wanted to split up the paragraph but since all my ideas take the idea of the threat intelligence from different angles, I didn't know how I could formulate another central idea forms too start a new paragraph. .... Am I making sense? It's kinda hard to explain.
I understand your apprehensions, but I'd say you'll have to start being strict with yourself when it comes to selecting arguments and evidence. In all likelihood what you're doing at the moment is using different evidence to support the same point. This is only effective in moderation, and you don't want to get bogged down in listing a bunch of stuff when two or three lines is enough. Alternatively, you might be using one example and trying to flesh out all of the points within it; this is also flawed since you have to strike a balance between showing your depth and breadth of knowledge.
Being conscious of this will be helpful, and reminding yourself to step back from your essay after you hit ~10 lines (depending on handwriting) can be quiet beneficial.

With the example you've given me (threat of intelligence in 1984) the issue might be that your overall paragraph focus is too broad. Turn this theme into a statement/contention, and it will be easier to stick to. 'The threat of intelligence' is basically the whole book, but something like 'The intelligence of the masses is a threat to the authorities, who - being so afraid - are more likely to respond aggressively and thus perpetuate the problem...' gives you a much stronger, clearer focus. Consequently, it'll be a lot easier to see where your paragraphs are deviating from your initial sub-contention than if you're examining a massive, almost all-encompassing theme or idea.

I'd say planning ahead would also be very helpful at this stage. Write out an extensive plan and limit yourself to a few examples per paragraph. Break things up in a logical fashion so you're not cherry picking random evidence, but make sure you don't ramble on too much.

Always keep the prompt in mind too. Often you'll have brilliant ideas and points to discuss, but if they're not relevant, you won't be getting as much credit as someone who's actually engaging with the topic, so always prioritise relevance over writing what you know. Your task isn't to just showcase your thorough understanding of the text, but to do so in relation to a given prompt. Just keep that criterion in mind and you should be fine :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: The Usual Student on November 15, 2014, 01:06:04 am
I have learnt more English from Lauren then I have at school.......
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: dyii22 on November 15, 2014, 07:21:38 pm
Hey Lauren,

Just wondering if you think extra resources such as text guides from the huge range of companies (TSSM, Insight, etc.) are worthwhile or just a waste of money.

Cheers :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on November 15, 2014, 08:09:19 pm
Hey Lauren,

Just wondering if you think extra resources such as text guides from the huge range of companies (TSSM, Insight, etc.) are worthwhile or just a waste of money.

Cheers :)

VATE are definitely the best, though I'm not sure if they do text specific guides anymore.
TSSM have good synopses and background info, but Insight has better analyses and in-depth theme/symbol discussion, so I'd probably recommend the latter. The Neap one's I've come across aren't that good. Checkpoints are decent but I haven't had much experience with them.
note: these are just my impressions from having read several guides over the years; often there are different people writing them who can approach the text in better or worse ways.

Honestly, I think they're all a waste of money. I'm not dissing the resources, but with the amount of stuff that's freely available online, forking out $20-$30 seems unnecessary (then again - I'm not rich, so if money is no object to you then go right ahead :)))

If you're studying one of the first year texts, however, then it might be a good idea. Even with my intense googling skills I couldn't find much available on the new novels. There will be stuff cropping up throughout the year, but the summer holidays is a great opportunity to get ahead in your readings, so a study guide or two might be useful :)

Ultimately the resale value is pretty good with most guides, and if you feel like you need one for clarity's sake then it'll be a worthwhile investment, but generally speaking they tend to be fairly surface-level.


edit: just checked the VATE page listing their publications (Inside Stories). The ones that are on the current Year 12 lists are
-All About Eve -Brooklyn -Cat's Eye -Cloudstreet -Henry IV Part 1 -I for Isobel -In the Country of Men -Mabo -Medea -No Sugar -Poems by Harwood -Stasiland -The Complete Maus -The Thing Around Your Neck -War Poems -This Boy's Life -Will You Please Be Quiet Please
If you're studying any of these, I'd recommend the Inside Stories guides over any of the other companies.
(they're usually written by the same teachers who write the exam prompts.)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Burt Macklin on November 16, 2014, 07:45:54 pm
Hey Lauren,
Did you have any specific system for collating external examples for Context that you think would work best? Like by prompt, aspects of the context etc. And in what format?
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: DJA on November 16, 2014, 08:42:32 pm
Hey Lauren,
Did you have any specific system for collating external examples for Context that you think would work best? Like by prompt, aspects of the context etc. And in what format?

When did context external examples, I had 3 main headings for different context key areas which you should be able to find in your context and then within each large heading, I broke it down into smaller ideas and the key external examples I had found for each. I did conflict so I'll give you an example

To give you a bit of my own personal advice for what I did for Conflict this is how I grouped it.
3 MAIN Headings:
1) Causes of Conflict
2) Nature of Conflict
3) Results of Conflict

I had about 3-4 different ideas for each and external examples under each.
I had  bit of textual contextualisation of the example and then specific quotes and then I had a few sentences describing how it related to the idea.

I found this helped me organise my thoughts - and it was all on a word document, throughout the year I added to it and refined it and before exams I just memorised most of it so in the actual exam, I had plenty to draw from and it was all ordered in my brain under the different ideas.

(inb4 Lauren  ;) - she might have a different system - hope my thoughts help in some way!)

I apologise for impersonating the queen of English.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on November 16, 2014, 10:11:01 pm
Hey Lauren,
Did you have any specific system for collating external examples for Context that you think would work best? Like by prompt, aspects of the context etc. And in what format?
Hmm... good question.
It'd depend on your essay style of course; I'm assuming you're doing an expository/ hybrid piece?
The types of examples you collect will also influence your note-taking; in the early stages you'll probably be collating a whole bunch of research (esp. for the denser evidence) Whereas, as you add things throughout the year, you might only need a few key words to remind you of your discussion points.
For the sake of reading and researching over the holidays, just a general word doc. should be fine, maybe with some links at the bottom to potential prompts or context-related talking points.
Then, once you've built up a little repository for yourself, you can start grouping them. Most contexts can be neatly divided into between 4-6 sub-categories (eg. for conflict, the widely accepted areas are nature, causes, responses, consequences, and resolutions.) However, these don't account for everything, and there are a number of prompts that deliberately blur these lines (eg. 'The causes of conflict is less important that how it affects people' ~ I think this is a past VCAA one?)

As a parallel task, I'd recommend collating all the prompts you come across too. I've listed all I could find on the updated English stickies, but even they're not conclusive. However, I'd say aspects of the context make a better sorting system than actual prompts. So once you've got a list, start categorising them too, and you'll find a lot of overlap.

When I did this in late Term 3 of last year, these were the areas I came up with:
Quote
CONFLICT PROMPT FOCI:
conflict = a test, necessity for survival/ happiness/ betterment etc.
conflict = destructive, inessential
conflict --> unites and/or divides
fairness, justice, morality
blame, aftermath, what this says about us?
test of relationships/ empathy/ values
heroes, bystanders, villains
beginning and end of conflict = definable? important?
absence of conflict? possible? good?
freewill, able to control conflict, or our response?
breakdown in communication/ understanding/ perspective
internal vs. external
cause/ response/ consequence/ resolution <-- which is more important, or tells us more about ourselves?
I'm yet to come across a prompt that doesn't conform to one or more of these topics (though the 2013 exam came close :P)

Once you've got something resembling the above, you can use that to match up your examples, eg. if you wanted to discuss the Very Hungry Caterpillar as your external example, you would write 'necessity for survival, freewill, and internal vs. external' or whatever you felt was most relevant. Practice paragraphs can help clarify focus too; if you've got an example that doesn't seem to fit, write about it and see where it takes you. Or consider what an ideal prompt would be for you to discuss the example and write one yourself.
^Using a colour code for these might be helpful too; it can also point out glaring holes in what your examples cover, eg. if green=what happens in the absence of conflict, and there are no green examples in your collection, then maybe that's an area to look into.

In terms of format, DO NOT do what I did and handwrite it all... such a waste of time. Word docs are definitely preferable, and much easier to copy+paste.

Alternatively, you may not need such an extensive list. If you trust your abilities to discuss an example in a variety of ways, and possibly for prompts you've never considered, then some general headings should suffice.
I guess it comes down to your confidence levels; I was terrible at context and wanted the security of knowing I had all, or at least most bases covered. Whereas I know others who could confidently dive into anything armed with whatever they'd written about last week. Definitely worth experimenting - you'll have heaps of time to fine tune your approach to everything.

I'll be updating the Examples List soonish but I'd welcome suggestions from everyone: '14ers who didn't want to share their stuff before the exams, or '15ers who want to expand upon one of those subheadings. Plus, you can pretty much just suggest a general direction and I'll compile some context-related goodness, so it's a free opportunity to get someone else to research your ideas ;)
Will also write some sort of Summer Holiday Guide before December.

I apologise for impersonating the queen of English.
-.- I saw that... jks, welcome back man, your input is more than welcome now that I'll no longer be the most recent English grad in a few weeks.
Goddamn young whippersnappers
(http://weknowgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/old-guys-laughing-gif.gif)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: walkec on November 17, 2014, 07:45:20 am
When did context external examples, I had 3 main headings for different context key areas which you should be able to find in your context and then within each large heading, I broke it down into smaller ideas and the key external examples I had found for each. I did conflict so I'll give you an example

To give you a bit of my own personal advice for what I did for Conflict this is how I grouped it.
3 MAIN Headings:
1) Causes of Conflict
2) Nature of Conflict
3) Results of Conflict

I had about 3-4 different ideas for each and external examples under each.
I had  bit of textual contextualisation of the example and then specific quotes and then I had a few sentences describing how it related to the idea.

I found this helped me organise my thoughts - and it was all on a word document, throughout the year I added to it and refined it and before exams I just memorised most of it so in the actual exam, I had plenty to draw from and it was all ordered in my brain under the different ideas.

(inb4 Lauren  ;) - she might have a different system - hope my thoughts help in some way!)

I apologise for impersonating the queen of English.

While I didn't do Conflict, I did do a summary table for all my external ideas for context (which was Whose Reality). I've attached this if you want to look at it. I found it a really nice way to begin developing my ideas and work my way out. I then used big sheets of paper and key points of different external examples on the paper in the lead up to the exam.

I also highly recommend just doing single paragraphs using external examples if doing expository or persuasive. So like pick a prompt, figure out which external example/s relate best and write. I found this really helpful because I thought some of the examples I had were good, but it turns out they weren't all that good to write about compared to others, so it helped me to whittle down which ones I should focus on more because they were more versatile.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Burt Macklin on November 17, 2014, 08:30:50 pm
Very helpful, thanks to all three of you. You're all awesome.  ;D
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Callum@1373 on December 12, 2014, 10:50:29 pm
Hey Lauren! I could really use your wisdom :D

I finished year 10 this year, and am studying English next year. I received DUX of my school in English Core this year (although there was an english advanced class) and i'm really looking to succeed next year.

We are doing AOS2 first up next year, and the context is Whose Reality?. The book we have to read for it is The Shark Net by Robert Drewe, which is pretty much a memoir of the authors childhood.

I really need some advice for these holidays. I have read about a third of it but I feel like nothing is sinking in, like it's just a bunch of endless facts (e.g Callum woke up. Callum brushed his teeth. Callum caught the bus, etc). I also need to be able to use the book a source and generate ideas about Whose Reality?.

Can you please help me on how I should study it so I can know the book inside out, generate ideas about Whose Reality for it, and pretty much be able to know why things have been mentioned in the memoir and what that tells about the author. I have always found my ideas from novels to be very weak and unjustified links when I use evidence in my essays.

Thanks so much! Enjoy holidays!
 
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: walkec on December 13, 2014, 08:30:48 am
Hey Lauren! I could really use your wisdom :D

I finished year 10 this year, and am studying English next year. I received DUX of my school in English Core this year (although there was an english advanced class) and i'm really looking to succeed next year.

We are doing AOS2 first up next year, and the context is Whose Reality?. The book we have to read for it is The Shark Net by Robert Drewe, which is pretty much a memoir of the authors childhood.

I really need some advice for these holidays. I have read about a third of it but I feel like nothing is sinking in, like it's just a bunch of endless facts (e.g Callum woke up. Callum brushed his teeth. Callum caught the bus, etc). I also need to be able to use the book a source and generate ideas about Whose Reality?.

Can you please help me on how I should study it so I can know the book inside out, generate ideas about Whose Reality for it, and pretty much be able to know why things have been mentioned in the memoir and what that tells about the author. I have always found my ideas from novels to be very weak and unjustified links when I use evidence in my essays.

Thanks so much! Enjoy holidays!

Hi there,

At this stage, I wouldn't stress too much about not being able to develop ideas about Whose Reality from your text. First readings serve as a way for you to just read the text. So, just read it. Don't worry about possible prompts, ideas and concepts just yet. I'd recommend reading all your English texts at least once over summer, and then if you still have time and no other homework to complete, then start to re read this text.

As a person who did do Whose Reality, the ideas surrounding this context can be very frustrating initially. Some broad concepts you could think about upon a second/third reading are things like memories, subjectivity, how emotions influence experience, perception etc. Hopefully this helps a bit!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Callum@1373 on December 13, 2014, 11:26:14 am
Hi there,

At this stage, I wouldn't stress too much about not being able to develop ideas about Whose Reality from your text. First readings serve as a way for you to just read the text. So, just read it. Don't worry about possible prompts, ideas and concepts just yet. I'd recommend reading all your English texts at least once over summer, and then if you still have time and no other homework to complete, then start to re read this text.

As a person who did do Whose Reality, the ideas surrounding this context can be very frustrating initially. Some broad concepts you could think about upon a second/third reading are things like memories, subjectivity, how emotions influence experience, perception etc. Hopefully this helps a bit!
Thanks! Yes I certainly agree, I will read it all just front cover to back cover first, and then probably again.

On the notion of reading all my english books, I have enough time in the holidays between terms to read and analyze my other english books for when we start studying them, it is just that while I did really good in english this year i was not fantastic at creating and presenting.

Our school is doing a speech on Whose Reality? in the THIRD week of term one and an expository essay in the FIFTH week of term one. I just really want to do better than my peers again and am worried (not stressing, just a little cautious) I won't be able to develop sophisticated ideas when the time comes to write.

Do you have any suggestions on how i link the memoir (and consider its not a novel, a memoir) and Whose Reality upon my second/third reading of the text these holidays? Will I need to know quotes and character analyses for the expository essay or do I just need to grasp ideas about reality from it.

It's just that when it says "Your writing must directly draw ideas from the text" does that mean I need to mention the text or somewhat mimic the text in my expository essay.

As much help would be awesome! Thanks  ;D :D
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: walkec on December 13, 2014, 03:24:59 pm
Thanks! Yes I certainly agree, I will read it all just front cover to back cover first, and then probably again.

On the notion of reading all my english books, I have enough time in the holidays between terms to read and analyze my other english books for when we start studying them, it is just that while I did really good in english this year i was not fantastic at creating and presenting.

Our school is doing a speech on Whose Reality? in the THIRD week of term one and an expository essay in the FIFTH week of term one. I just really want to do better than my peers again and am worried (not stressing, just a little cautious) I won't be able to develop sophisticated ideas when the time comes to write.

Do you have any suggestions on how i link the memoir (and consider its not a novel, a memoir) and Whose Reality upon my second/third reading of the text these holidays? Will I need to know quotes and character analyses for the expository essay or do I just need to grasp ideas about reality from it.

It's just that when it says "Your writing must directly draw ideas from the text" does that mean I need to mention the text or somewhat mimic the text in my expository essay.

As much help would be awesome! Thanks  ;D :D

I'm not trying to make you less motivated by saying this - so hear me out.
Do not stress out about the assessment tasks at the moment. It's seriously not worth it. Year 11 English is an awesome time in VCE English because it's a chance to play around with different writing styles and approaches so you can fine tune your approach come 3/4 English.

I actually hated Creating and Presenting until my Unit 4 SAC. I think the key to improving in this area is to talk your ideas through with other people. If you have a point about reality, and can use a text to illuminate your idea, then try explaining it or even writing it down to practice developing and refining your ideas. Great context ideas don't happen instantly. They take time to develop, and even then, they still require refinement.

In terms of linking directly to the text, you could start by thinking of what the text suggests about reality. One of my WR texts was Death of a Salesman (a great play, would recommend reading it for enjoyment actually). I wrote out a list of statements about reality on big sheets of butcher's paper and then brainstormed what the text says about this statement, examples from the text, whether the text challenges the ideas of the statement/prompt etc. But don't stress if you can't immediately begin linking ideas to the context from the text and vice versa, class discussions in the early stages of your study of the context will help you develop your ideas immensely.

If you're going to do expository, then you need to use the ideas of the text in regards to the context in your discussion. So if it's about how past experiences influence current understanding, you make profound judgements about this concept if it is grounded in the text (side note - I used this example as it was apparent in DOAS which I did for the exam. I have no idea if it also applies to your text). You can address your text in an expository piece with one "body" paragraph so to speak, and then use the raw concepts in the text and kind of build out from there.

Hope this helps!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Splash-Tackle-Flail on December 21, 2014, 10:08:53 pm
Hey Lauren! (btw I like how all these start off with "hey/hi Lauren" haha)

For The War Poems, we were basically given the compilation of poems, and frankly I have no idea what to do with them, because it's different to a normal novel in that its an anthology :( . What would you recommend reading all the poems one by one and attempt to analyse them over the school holidays? Or is there a recommended select few that would cater more to the VCE prompts? Honestly I have no idea how to tackle these poems at all haha.

Also, what is the difference between an introduction and a conclusion in text response? I always seem to just restate my introduction with different words, and although atm it seems to help me score ok, some higher responses manage to come up with really thought provoking conclusions and I was wondering if there was any tips on doing this!

Thanks in advanced, and I hope I haven't doubled up on the questions (I did look at the previous questions list!)  ;D
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: Paulrus on December 21, 2014, 11:09:10 pm
Hey Lauren! (btw I like how all these start off with "hey/hi Lauren" haha)

For The War Poems, we were basically given the compilation of poems, and frankly I have no idea what to do with them, because it's different to a normal novel in that its an anthology :( . What would you recommend reading all the poems one by one and attempt to analyse them over the school holidays? Or is there a recommended select few that would cater more to the VCE prompts? Honestly I have no idea how to tackle these poems at all haha.
hey, i'm not lauren, but i did war poems last year on the exam so hopefully i can help a bit. :)
you definitely don't need to go through all the poems. i'm pretty sure your school will give you a prescribed list that they've chosen for you to study, that will hopefully cover a broad range of ideas/themes. the ones my school chose were these (the ones in bold are the ones i thought were most important - you should definitely look over those at least):
Spoiler
Inspection
Anthem for Doomed Youth
Dulce et Decorum Est
The Dead Beat
Strange Meeting
Futility
S.I.W.
The Last Laugh
Mental Cases
Parable of the Old Man and the Young
Disabled

Smile, Smile, Smile
Spring Offensive
on top of that, i also studied the next war and exposure outside of class, and i ended up using both of those in my exam piece. basically, the more poems you have, you'll be better off in that you'll have more to draw from, but make sure that you're not stretching yourself too thin. ideally i guess you should try to study 15+ poems in depth (as a vague guess) to make sure you're able to cover everything. we got some pretty easy prompts for owen this year, so they might bring out something obscure for you guys. be prepared for the worst, just in case.

also, you might have some trouble understanding some of the poems at first. if you're completely stumped, there are a bunch of 'translations' available on the internet to help you understand what's going on, though it might be a good idea to try your hardest to come up with ideas on your own, free from external influence, cos original ideas and interpretations are always good to have in english. some poems are definitely more straightforward than others, but the complicated ones are generally the ones you're going to get the best analysis from.
over the holidays though, don't worry about analysis too much. your teacher will guide you through a lot of that. our teacher suggested that we write a short summary of each poem on a list of 10 that he gave us, and that's all we were told to do for text response over the holidays. i think that set us up well for studying the poems in class, so if your teacher hasn't set any work, i'd recommend doing that before you get into any analysis.

the war poems was a really interesting text so have fun with it :P

i feel like i should leave the conclusion question to lauren, cos she'll probably have a better idea than i do heh
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on December 22, 2014, 12:07:59 am
Hey Lauren! (btw I like how all these start off with "hey/hi Lauren" haha)

For The War Poems, we were basically given the compilation of poems, and frankly I have no idea what to do with them, because it's different to a normal novel in that its an anthology :( . What would you recommend reading all the poems one by one and attempt to analyse them over the school holidays? Or is there a recommended select few that would cater more to the VCE prompts? Honestly I have no idea how to tackle these poems at all haha.
Going over the ones Paulrus has outlined should be your main concern. If I'm not mistaken VCAA doesn't actually specify which Selected Poems you're studying, just that they're from the anthology, but you'll get a good sense throughout the year of which ones have a lot of good discussion fodder in them, and which aren't so dense.

The Wilfred Owen Association is a great little site that has a discussion about all of his major poems and a couple of minor ones, so that might make for good holiday reading too. Otherwise, simply googling a poem title with 'resources' or 'analysis' will take you to a few other good points of reference.

Something I found helpful when studying poetry, especially since you're expected to make connection between poems as well as analysing them, print out a copy, pin them up on a wall in your house somewhere and make a mindmap of sorts. You could wait until you've read a few synopses and just do this exercise with the titles and key points in each poem, but in general this will help you think about the text holistically and not just as ~20 separate poems.

Also, what is the difference between an introduction and a conclusion in text response? I always seem to just restate my introduction with different words, and although atm it seems to help me score ok, some higher responses manage to come up with really thought provoking conclusions and I was wondering if there was any tips on doing this!

Introductions are for saying: these are some points I'll discuss later. The conclusion is for hammering home the message in a bigger way, which ideally would involve the "thought provoking" aspect, but can just be a more abstract statement based on the prompt. Best advice would be to consider the implication of the prompt.

For example: 'Wilfred Owen's War Poems show how war changes people's priorities.'
I guarantee at least 3/4 of the state will look at this and structure an essay like so:
-Intro
-Para on war
-Para on change
-Para on people's priorities
-Conclusion
Not only is this an exemplary format for limiting your approach, but it also risks avoiding the prompt, even though each key area is being unpacked. By separating each idea and deconstructing it, yes you might get some great analysis, but you still need to be commenting on what the entire prompt is saying, not just each keyword. Assuming you can get this done in the Intro and Concl. alone is risky, it's better to integrate it into your body paragraphs to take the strain off.
A better breakdown might be:
-Intro
-Para on why war has the capacity to change people in good and bad ways
-Para on how this change occurs, what it means for those involved, and those indirectly affected
-Para on what people's priorities are/ should be, whether these are always subject to change
-Concl.
There's still a slightly segmented focus, but going into a paragraph thinking in sentences rather than key words is a lot more helpful. Essentially you'll already have a contention, and your essay will flow a lot better.
(Even though the issue of intro vs. concl. breakdowns hasn't been brought up before, there are some previous examples in T.R. and Context of 'questioning/dissecting prompts' if you need clarification on this.)

But you might notice something similar in the starts and ends of your body paragraphs (ie. restating your sub-contention) in which case try and split it up between the T.S. (eg. The idea of humility is central to the text, in particular the development of character X) and the conclusory/  zoomy-outy sentence (Therefore the author purports humility to be a necessity for understanding oneself and one's environment.)
Basically intros are just saying 'here's something important' and the conclusions are saying 'this is why it's important.' Then the body of the essay is just expanding upon what the author is saying about this importance.

In terms of coming up with these grandiose interpretations, it definitely comes with practice, and it'll depend on the text as well. For War Poems, some comment about Owen's pacifism might come in handy, or perhaps even his role as a poet. Above all else though, it depends on the prompt. If you're being asked to discuss the use of narrative voice and perspective in the anthology, and you end with a gorgeous, but irrelevant statement about the brutality of war and man's penchant for destruction, then you might earn a sympathy mark from an easily impressed assessor, but nothing more.
Always, always, always ensure your writing is relevant. It's okay to move away from your core discussion occasionally provided you have a reason for doing so, but your conclusions will be where the mark is decided, so you want to be solidifying your score, not giving the marker a chance to dock a point for irrelevance.

Going through other people's essays might help with this too. It's probably easy enough for you to look at a conclusion and either go 'this is good, this kid deserves full marks' or 'wtf even, are you trying to fail at school??' but what makes them good or bad? Are they structurally sound but poorly written? Is it just redundantly restating the contention, or worse, is it arguing a totally different point to the rest of the essay? Have they ended with a tacky quote like "it is not in the stars to hold our fate, but in ourselves. -William Shakespeare" which I totally didn't do for all my essays in Years 8-11 of English :P oh silly Lauren, you had no idea how amusing you'd be to your future self
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: M_BONG on December 31, 2014, 10:12:58 pm
Idk where to post this on AN and I don't want to start new threads.. but Lauren! I was recently given Great Expectations as a Christmas gift and had a few questions for you given youre like the repository of all English wisdom!

I would assume you have read it. Thoughts? Things to look out for? And how difficult is it to read; I haven't read Dickens before. I just finished The Great Gatsby and I would give it a 6 out of 10 (in terms of difficulty). Also, I notice that it's really long... is Dickens just verbose and pedantic with everything (because I am going to avoid reading it if so.. lol my attention span is not long) and is it actually a worthwhile/interesting read?

Thanks :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: meganrobyn on January 01, 2015, 12:01:05 pm
Idk where to post this on AN and I don't want to start new threads.. but Lauren! I was recently given Great Expectations as a Christmas gift and had a few questions for you given youre like the repository of all English wisdom!

I would assume you have read it. Thoughts? Things to look out for? And how difficult is it to read; I haven't read Dickens before. I just finished The Great Gatsby and I would give it a 6 out of 10 (in terms of difficulty). Also, I notice that it's really long... is Dickens just verbose and pedantic with everything (because I am going to avoid reading it if so.. lol my attention span is not long) and is it actually a worthwhile/interesting read?

Thanks :)

Dickens wrote serial stories for newspapers, meaning he put a small chunk of the story in each edition of the newspaper, and people would read the whole thing gradually over time. He was also paid by the word for these stories. This is one theory as to why he wrote a number of long pieces, but it can also be explained by his seeming preference for character, plot and setting over obvious thematic messaging or didacticism (a notable exception being A Christmas Carol). He's not a pedantic writer in the way that someone like Henry James is, so his works reads as more lively and fast-paced than James' - but he is very detail-oriented, known for creating vivid characters and scenes.

For me, Dickens can sometimes take a while to get into with each book, because the description of people and places and events can make it feel like not much is happening. But the pacing of his language is quite quick, even if not much 'plot' is going by, and once you immerse yourself in the storyworld it's very engaging because things really come to life. I'm not saying you *can't* analyse Dickens thematically, but I think he's perhaps stronger as a classic storyteller, so just let yourself be told a story, kid-style.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on January 01, 2015, 01:30:25 pm
I would definitely recommend Great Expectations but I know its length and density can be off-putting.
So a book I'd recommend reading first is Italo Calvino's 'Why Read The Classics.' It's basically a persuasive essay about why reading Dickens, James, Conrad etc. is so important and beneficial. It helps that Calvino is an awesome writer too, so by the end of the book you'll be so pumped, you'll want to read Ulysses cover to cover :)

Admittedly any Dickens is probably trickier than Gatsby to grasp, but it depends what sort of reader you are. If you can sit down for two hours and just plough through a book, then you'll probably become immersed quite quickly. However if you find yourself letting your thoughts wander and have to read pages over and over again before stuff finally sinks in, GE will lead you down some  interesting paths, but getting through it might become a bit laborious.

Uni won't start till March though, so you might as well dive in :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on January 01, 2015, 02:24:24 pm
Dickens wrote serial stories for newspapers, meaning he put a small chunk of the story in each edition of the newspaper, and people would read the whole thing gradually over time. He was also paid by the word for these stories. This is one theory as to why he wrote a number of long pieces, but it can also be explained by his seeming preference for character, plot and setting over obvious thematic messaging or didacticism (a notable exception being A Christmas Carol). He's not a pedantic writer in the way that someone like Henry James is, so his works reads as more lively and fast-paced than James' - but he is very detail-oriented, known for creating vivid characters and scenes.

For me, Dickens can sometimes take a while to get into with each book, because the description of people and places and events can make it feel like not much is happening. But the pacing of his language is quite quick, even if not much 'plot' is going by, and once you immerse yourself in the storyworld it's very engaging because things really come to life. I'm not saying you *can't* analyse Dickens thematically, but I think he's perhaps stronger as a classic storyteller, so just let yourself be told a story, kid-style.

This is really great advice for Dickens (referring to the last sentence). Sometimes, you might need to reevaluate ideas about why you're reading or what makes something 'good' reading. The first Dickens book I attempted was Bleak House , and I tried to make it fit my regular reading habits (which amounts to super intensive reading sessions, and a book demolished in a few days). I'll save you googling what Bleak House is and just tell you that it's pretty incompatible with that style of reading for a first-time Dickens reader lol. I think one big solution to this is just considering the writing you're reading as intrinsically valuable. Often when reading, we implicitly consider what we read to be of instrumental value, or valuable because it 'gives' us something. That is, detail about a character gives us an insight as to why they are the way they are, or detail about the fictional world's history gives us an insight into the society, and so on and so forth for all type of plot devices, character descriptions etc. In this way, we read as consumers of information that's necessary to 'complete' the task of reading the book, or something like that. You can still try this with Dickens but sometimes it just doesn't work. He might spend two and a half pages detailing fog, and you're left thinking "why the f*** do I care about this fog?", but upon asking this question you're likely missing something really valuable in Dickens. Amongst those three pages are probably a few jokes that are actually pretty funny, or some fantastically constructed sentences that are just like "damn". So, in reading the prose and just considering it as valuable for its own sake, you may just find that you enjoy Dickens a bit more. I think, like in many things, your own attitude is the defining factor, here, rather than the make-up of whatever you're approaching.

So, I'd definitely say you should read it :). If you're finding it a bit too much but still want some of the same benefits, try reading something written circa 1920-1955. The language and style will be a lot more accessible. Catcher in the Rye is a pretty cool book to read for someone who has just finished high-school, or The Bell Jar if you're more inclined towards less insufferable protagonists*.

Would definitely encourage all recent graduates to use some of their free time to chew through some amazing books of history. Reading's a habit that has phenomenal benefits, too numerous and implicit to even explain. Certainly try to chew through GE :)


*Holden4lyfhatethephonies
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: M_BONG on January 01, 2015, 02:46:50 pm
Awesome advice guys! (Sorry lauren for hijacking your thread)
This is really great advice for Dickens (referring to the last sentence). Sometimes, you might need to reevaluate ideas about why you're reading or what makes something 'good' reading.

So true! For me, reading has always been a de-stresser and reading 'real' literature always caused me stress because everything is beneath the surface and implied and most of the time I don't understand it, haha. Time to get off the Matthew Reilly and the John Grisham, and give other authors a go :)


Catcher in the Rye is a pretty cool book to read for someone who has just finished high-school, or The Bell Jar if you're more inclined towards less insufferable protagonists*.

*Holden4lyfhatethephonies
I read Catcher in Year 10 - Holden is so YOLO. Good as time to read it, especially during puberty and stuff. Holden and his ducks and red hat, cute as.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: allstar on January 05, 2015, 01:38:52 pm
hello,
this is a random question but:
what is something we as a society claimed to know but in reality until we are exposed to the seemingly impossible (cause we claimed to know that it wasn't possible), we realise maybe there is more to what we supposedly know???

this is related to my oral :)

thanks 
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: brenden on January 05, 2015, 01:52:22 pm
hello,
this is a random question but:
what is something we as a society claimed to know but in reality until we are exposed to the seemingly impossible (cause we claimed to know that it wasn't possible), we realise maybe there is more to what we supposedly know???

this is related to my oral :)

thanks
Newtonian Physics? *shrugs*
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on January 05, 2015, 02:56:00 pm
hello,
this is a random question but:
what is something we as a society claimed to know but in reality until we are exposed to the seemingly impossible (cause we claimed to know that it wasn't possible), we realise maybe there is more to what we supposedly know???

this is related to my oral :)

thanks

Pretty much all science stories in the media.

I might be misinterpreting your point, but perhaps the recent ebola outbreak?
ie. society claims to know: it's dangerous and no one should suffer, but 'out of sight, out of mind'
seemingly impossible happens: disease breaches the Western world
more to what we supposedly know: just how dangerous it can be

Not sure if that was what you're after, but if you're looking at misunderstood issues, I'd definitely go for something science-y because the general population's grasp of science is limited at best.
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: keltingmeith on January 05, 2015, 03:18:50 pm
hello,
this is a random question but:
what is something we as a society claimed to know but in reality until we are exposed to the seemingly impossible (cause we claimed to know that it wasn't possible), we realise maybe there is more to what we supposedly know???

this is related to my oral :)

thanks

I may be able to supply some help here:

This here is the [u]I Fucking Love Science[/u] (IFLS) Facebook page. They also have a full website if you don't want to traverse Facebook (I don't go directly to the website myself, preferring their Facebook updates). IFLS is essentially THE science website for the scientifically illiterate, aiming to promote a love of science in everybody. As such, IFLS often reports on new issues and discoveries in the media. Just a couple of days ago, they reported about protein activity, acting in a way that scientists didn't believe possible.

I don't know how helpful this will be, but here's a list of "discoveries" made in 2014, or stories, that just weren't true.

Also, two really big recent topics to discuss are vaccinations and climate change. Despite being old, they're STILL popping up in the media. Note that in both cases, it wasn't a situation of "we thought this was true, but turns out it's not", but rather of faulty scientific method, which enabled certain studies to release false results. Thus, people think that climate change isn't happening, and that vaccinating your kids is bad... (NOTE: NOT VACCINATING YOUR KIDS IS WORSE AND CLIMATE CHANGE IS A THING -cough-)

FINALLY, you may be hard done by looking for "something we believed to be true but no longer is". Rarely things that are made scientific theory will no longer be theory. There are a few exceptions, but generally if something might not be true, it's shot down during an earlier phase, before it becomes a theory. Aforementioned exceptions generally relate to things we admit to not fully not understanding (such as physics, and the whole relativity vs. quantum mechanics thing, or how our world was formed), and in which case you may find several theories relating to the subject, with the truth being some culmination of them all (hence why we take several theories - each work in different situations, so until we get the right one, we'll use ones that we know work for now).
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: appleandbee on January 07, 2015, 06:37:17 pm
I have a couple of questions here:
1.I went to a VCE student resource centre today to buy some English stuff and the man working there (who was a Chemistry assessor, not an English one, but says that his wife assesses English) claims that in the Context section, on top of the two set texts, if I mention stuff on the other two, I get bonus marks. He also claims that I have to include a MINIMUM of two texts in my Context exam essay. Is this true, because I thought I only have to write about one text and include external examples?
2.Does external sources in Whose Reality tend to be overused e.g. mental illnesses (not that I’m doing that).
3.Does the Speech topic have to be a local issue?
Thanks in Advance  :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on January 07, 2015, 07:17:29 pm
1. This is one of the many instances of one teacher giving recommendations and passing them off as requirements, I'm afraid. No, you don't have to mention more than one text and you certainly wouldn't get "bonus marks" for mentioning all of them. If anything, most assessors would probably dock points since you aren't going beyond the texts, you're just limiting yourself to multiple ones.
I suppose I could see the logic of reading a brief synopsis of the other texts since the prompt has to relate to all four texts, and so it can give you some insight into the kinds of angles the assessors are expecting.
The external examples are usually a lot more important to the marks because that's what you'll be using for your more unique and expansive discussion. In fact for expository essays, I'd suggest just referencing the text once in your first paragraph and then everything from then on is purely based on your other sources.
HOWEVER, your teacher will have their own recommendations for context, so trust their guidance for SACs.

2. Certain external resources are used quite often, but that doesn't mean they're used effectively. Something like mental illness is a very common example, but if half the people using it are doing so in a 'people who have mental illnesses have different realities, therefore sometimes people can have different realities' capacity, then doing some more sophisticated analysis can still help you stand out.

There's a reason these areas are so well worn, though; it's because they're often the best and easiest examples to convey. So it's more about the degree to which you're expounding upon the evidence than what specific evidence you're considering.

3. There are very few official requirements for the oral because it's just an in-school assessment. So you'll need to check with your classroom teacher about any additional stipulations they've put in place. Usually the only rule is that you have to find a news article from the Australian media since September or October last year. You might find it helpful to make your issue local by showing how climate change affects us on a nation-wide or community-based level, but otherwise it can be a global or international topic provided your school is okay with it :)
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: 24bauer12 on January 07, 2015, 07:34:09 pm
Hey Lauren,
What would be the best way to identify a target audience in a persuasive context essay without a statement of intention?
Thanks in advance!
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on January 08, 2015, 10:17:10 am
You should be able to make it clear through the content and focus of your speech, for instance if you're addressing a board of scientists about the potential discovery of alien life, your introductory sentence can be a less clunky version of 'Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm here to talk to you about the potential discovery of alien life. As a bunch of scientists, you will no doubt be wondering...'

Obvs blend it into the rest of your piece, but you might want to have a sentence or two that delineates who you're speaking to and why in a very clear way. This might depend on how creative or expository your piece is, since the persuasive style is really a spectrum between the two. (Like, are you writing an expository essay just with really strong opinions and arguments, or is it an actual speech with a constructed author/ audience/ issue?)

Ultimately if you've got an audience in mind, there should be a reason why they're so important, so find a place in your piece for you to make that connection clear to your assessor.

If not, and you're just being forced to choose an audience even if it has no relevance to your content, then I'd just use headings or subheadings to get my point across, eg. 'Submission for the 'How Would You Change The World' Essay Contest 2015' or 'Dr. Mahoney's Address to the U.S. Congress on Gun Control.'
Title: Re: 50 in English, available for queries :)
Post by: literally lauren on January 11, 2015, 10:40:08 am
Howdy all,
I've decided to close this thread and start an official Q&A (stickied on the English board) for all general concerns. I'll still be answering questions, but I figured we'd open up the discussion so that people posting awesome answers here don't have to preface their advice with 'I'm not Lauren, but...' :)
I've imported all the links over to the new thread: English Q&A
Happy holidays!