I finished all my exams and honestly, I’m so fucking disappointed.
Before the exam period I said to myself, I wanted to finish VCE with no regrets but I’m here only with regrets.
I bombed my methods and spesh exam 1s off the face of the earth. I got in to the 20s for both, I’ll say that much...anymore and I’ll probably kill myself...
I had a relatively good SAC rank for 40+ in methods and 35+ in spesh in a competitive cohort. But now I won’t have a chance for 35+ in either because I had to turn in to a monkey in both of my exam 1s.
Sorry, I had to get that off my chest. I’m just so disappointed in myself.
Hey man, just want to say - you're totally allowed to be disappointed. But don't let it dominate you.
I'm also sure that you're probably being too hard on yourself - we all have a habit of demanding a lot of ourselves and judging ourselves quite harshly.
The night before ATARs were released last year, I fully convinced myself that I wasn't going to even get an 80, let alone a 90. I ended up getting in the 97s and even got a scholarship for uni haha.
In the end - your ATAR is not the be all and end all. It's a key to the front door. And it really ceases to matter as soon as you get a uni offer or start uni. Seriously, someone asked me what my ATAR was the other day and I had to go look it up.
Plus, there's absolutely no rush for what you do in the future - even if you weren't to get in straight away to your desired course, what's an extra year or two in the grand scheme of things? I've met people in my course who are on their second or third degree, people who have gone into one career then decided a few years down the track that they want to do something else, etc. - seriously, there's absolutely no rush.
Your marks are essentially determined by your performance in one exam on one day. They don't define the things you've achieved or learnt in your years of schooling.
It's easier said than done, but seriously - go enjoy your holidays, sleep in past midday, catch up with friends, do whatever you want to - and don't think about your results, because they're out of your hands now.