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March 29, 2024, 05:49:28 am

Poll

Should Poet and Lex get septum piercings together? 😜

YES YES YES YES
7 (70%)
ehhhh, nah
3 (30%)

Total Members Voted: 10

Voting closed: September 12, 2020, 06:56:10 pm

Author Topic: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!  (Read 37455 times)

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Bri MT

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #30 on: February 01, 2019, 11:31:48 pm »
+5
I started my day off bright and early, dressed (back in that fucking school dress 🤮), done my hair. (This one is for mini turtle.... I wore my hair down, and my long socks 😂😂) I chucked on some mascara and brushed my teeth.

Haha glad you were able to decide in the end 😂

-----
Lots of people change a lot during highschool so hopefully you can - maybe if not connect with - at least be comfortably around some of your peers that haven't left the best impression on you. Maybe you won't (I'm not going to pretend I was best friends with everyone in my cohort) but I've learnt that sometimes people I've initially think I'd never be friends with can turn out to be great people.

I'm glad that everything seems to be going ok so far :)

I'm having a pretty boring weekend but hopefully someone else has a more interesting one to share!

w0lfqu33n89

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #31 on: February 03, 2019, 07:41:15 pm »
+3
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« Last Edit: November 17, 2021, 01:28:54 am by w0lfqu33n89 »

w0lfqu33n89

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #32 on: February 05, 2019, 06:33:28 pm »
+2
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« Last Edit: November 17, 2021, 01:29:07 am by w0lfqu33n89 »

w0lfqu33n89

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #33 on: February 08, 2019, 05:04:05 pm »
+3
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« Last Edit: November 17, 2021, 01:29:23 am by w0lfqu33n89 »

w0lfqu33n89

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #34 on: February 14, 2019, 10:48:49 pm »
+5
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« Last Edit: November 17, 2021, 01:29:39 am by w0lfqu33n89 »

zuijinde

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #35 on: February 15, 2019, 12:01:24 am »
+1
Check your PM :)

Bri MT

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #36 on: February 15, 2019, 09:58:58 am »
+6
Hey,

I'm not back at uni yet but I've been doing some uni-related stuff and so far so good! 

Kudos for managing to stay ahead and complete work when you're finding it hard to take care of your health - that takes a lot.  I found that when I was struggling to eat that breakfast was important to set me up for the day (even though this could be hard with feeling nauseous) BUT what I would really highly encourage is seeing a doctor. It's possible that the root behind this is biological and/or psychological and we could only have rough guesses while a doctor could help you understand what's actually going on and what to do about it.  Not getting enough nutrition can impact you in a lot of ways, and I would love to see you get healthier sooner.

Year 10 was a turning point for me where I really opened up to someone about things trapped in my mind for too long.  I hope that you experience the same relief,  trust & support that I did.  That being said,  as much as I admire the courage it takes to open up and believe it can really help there is no pressure to share anything on here that you are uncomfortable with.  None whatsoever. 

I'm glad your speech went well - more proof that the internal voices that try to tear people down are often wrong :)

thank you for the kind compliments - I hope that the day when you believe these things about yourself is earlier than you expect :)

w0lfqu33n89

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #37 on: February 15, 2019, 10:21:08 pm »
+3
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« Last Edit: November 17, 2021, 01:29:51 am by w0lfqu33n89 »

w0lfqu33n89

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #38 on: February 18, 2019, 10:20:33 pm »
+5
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« Last Edit: November 17, 2021, 01:30:04 am by w0lfqu33n89 »

pepper77

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #39 on: February 18, 2019, 11:21:26 pm »
+9
Honestly, I wouldn't worry about how often other people post in their journals. If you've got something to say, and it's not against the rules (e.g. 'lol' and nothing else :P) go for it!

Man, it's easy to get stuck in a bad place. Do you have any strategies for when you feel yourself starting to retreat into your shell? Or are there any warning signs that come before you start feeling bad? It might help to write them down or post them in your journal so that you're more aware of them.
If it's okay, I'd like to share some things that have helped me out in the past.
Spoiler
  • Take care of yourself before you worry about anyone else! Imagine you're a cute little prep kid. You have to get into the habit of being relentlessly nice and patient, because who could hate a 5 year old? "No one loves me" I love little me. (Even if it feels fake at first, keep telling yourself that.) "I don't want to eat breakfast" That's okay, you can just eat half of this. "I really don't feel up to doing all this homework" That's fine! Just do one question/write down one idea for this essay and then you're done. "I can't do any more." You've done so well, get some rest and try a bit tomorrow.
  • Lists. I love lists. Put down a few small tasks in big writing, like drinking a glass of water, spending three minutes outside in the sun, doing two questions from the homework. Then scribble them out thickly so you get that feeling of accomplishment.
  • Easier said than done but try not to consume too much 'sad' media. I love Halsey's voice, but I found that listening to her when I was sad would make me feel better at that moment... but then I'd find myself listening to a sad song on repeat, feeling worse than ever. Sometimes listening to something catchy or really self-congratulatory can help. I listened to It's Raining Men and Mika a lot when I was down.
  • Remember that high school... doesn't really matter. It's like 6 years out of 80. 6 years is like a sneeze to an 80 year old. Your worth is not dependent on how organised you are when you're 15. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate atm and I promise, it will pass. You're doing amazing juggling it all already.
  • Most importantly: when it's getting bad, talk to someone. Posting on here is good but do you have a school counsellor or a teacher you can vent to as well? (School staff are great because they can talk to your subject teachers and ask them to lay off you a bit.) If not, there's people on beyondblue (both their forum and the support chat service) who are way better than me at getting out of their shells. It's anonymous too

I like the metaphor, crabs are seriously so adorable... if you're a hermit crab take care of yourself! Good luck with your SAC
« Last Edit: February 18, 2019, 11:24:45 pm by pepper77 »

PhoenixxFire

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #40 on: February 18, 2019, 11:56:38 pm »
+8
before I go on, do I post too often? I see most peoples blog posts are not as often as me and idk, I don't wanna annoy you guys.
It's your thread, you can post as frequently or infrequently as you like :) There were times last year when I was posting in my journal every second day - sometimes twice in one day - and other times when I wouldn't post for a couple of weeks in a row. There's no right amount, just go with what feels right to you.

every now and then I get in a real shitty dark and fucked up place, I feel like shit like I am failing myself and everyone, like I am unwanted, not loved, unnoticed, hated, ignored and like I cant trust anyone. As I slowly start to creep back out of my shell and things start to get better, and I think its a fresh start and I will never go back to where I was and I deliberately go out of my way to crawl around people, and hide away and avoid anything that will make me spiral out of control and drown (ik crabs cant drown....just roll with it  :)) But just when I think things are amazing and I finally have control over me and my life and I am happy and free a kid picks me up and wants to play with me, and in an instant I am straight back into my shell, unnoticed, hidden, I suddenly get boring and the kid thinks I have disappeared like sand escaping a clasped hand. I am back In that dark place, and its one bad thing after another wether its a sick family member, a friend hurting me, a father who never understands me, an uncle who just seems to judge, teachers putting pressure, mum getting mad. its never a bit of good and a bit of bad, its either all good or all bad. but each time it gets worse and I go into a dark place, listening to depressing, sad music, feeling insecure, hardly leaving my room, not eating, I'm unorganised, I don't care anymore, I just don't care. I am now becoming used to the bruised punching bag in the gym, the disturbed crab on the beach, the ball that's kicked and hit and controlled.

every time I fall backwards like this, the feelings get worse and worse, I smile and be nice and be fake all day, to people, sometimes going to the bathroom to cry or taking extra long at my locker because I am fighting tears by how hard my life is right now. but at night, I am a total recluse. I only come out for dinner, which I hardly eat, I pretend I don't hear my mum calling me so when I come out they are half done and I can eat slowly before throwing the rest out. I just don't want to eat, I have no motivation to, im never hungry and yeah.

I have a lot of family problems atm, friend problems, school and studying, oh yeah, not to mention a SAC this week that I am studying for. I just feel I cant do it. I started this year off great and it is just slowly falling apart once again. its not a "when will it get better, or its ok lex, keep your head high, or before you know it it will be ok" no, none of that. its a "what's next, what else is gonna go wrong, what happens if I cant handle it all"

sorry for my word vomit, my whole crab metaphor and the personification I had in my head sounded much better there then it is worded here.

Hope everyone is well, and isn't as stressed and stuffed as me.
love ya's all xx

-Lex
hey Lex, we want you to be well too.
I hope that writing out how you're feeling helps, but I'd also encourage you to talk to someone who can really help you with managing how you're feeling. I know you've said before that you struggle to talk to people face to face, but I'd encourage you to try calling Kids Helpline again, or to call a different service like Beyond Blue. If you're feeling up to it, you're old enough to go see a doctor alone and they'd be able to help you find someone you're comfortable talking to.
2019: B. Environment and Sustainability/B. Science @ ANU
2020: Just Vibing
2021: B. Paramedicine/B. Nursing @ ACU Canberra

w0lfqu33n89

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #41 on: February 20, 2019, 05:46:12 pm »
+4
.
« Last Edit: November 17, 2021, 01:30:27 am by w0lfqu33n89 »

EllingtonFeint

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #42 on: February 20, 2019, 06:11:28 pm »
+3
    ...one is an anxious freak, like me. we are literally brother and sister, we are close, the other one is so nice and amazing. and we have found a classroom with a dodgy window. so every recess and lunch we climb in through the window and chill, take quizzes, help each other with homework and have fun...

    Bye for now xx
Your climbing through a window comment killed me  ;D love it! I mean can WE be friends?
Kids are awful. Just literally count down the days till the end of high school.
My advice is probably quite suckish and banal or whatevs but actually find something that you get excited about!
Like something that you can obsess about...
For me, that’s usually a new mystery book coming out by my favourite author, face masking every Friday and relaxing, shopping (Virtually the IRL Cher Horowitz here)  or watching Supernatural episodes (Dean Winchester is the only thing getting me through year 12 right now!  ::) )
Something that makes you happy and gives you something to look forward to.

Hope I helped and hope you feel better! You can be my friend! :) xx[/list]
Biology 🌱 [49] |  English [47]

Surviving and Succeeding in Biology:
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w0lfqu33n89

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #43 on: February 21, 2019, 12:11:11 pm »
+3
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« Last Edit: November 17, 2021, 01:30:43 am by w0lfqu33n89 »

w0lfqu33n89

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #44 on: February 22, 2019, 09:49:03 am »
+1
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« Last Edit: November 17, 2021, 01:30:58 am by w0lfqu33n89 »