Hi lillianmaher; as above, I’m just another year 12 Eng-Lang student so please take my advise with a grain of salt. Therefore, it would be appreciated if another AN user could review my corrections. With your SAC, I hope it went well - although I’m correcting it now, it will be useful to keep this essay as it will help for exam revision, given a similar essay question pops up.
Prompt: Australian English is inventive and playful and reflects our national identity. To what extent do you agree?
Australian English (AuE) is a unique dialect of English, which is inventive and playful and reflects the national identity of Australia. Australian English has evolved over the years, beginning at the arrival of the First Fleet, and is continually developing and adapting according to global and national trends. Australian English is a construct that represents national identity both on Australian shores and beyond, as it reflects the many different aspects and influences on Australia, in an inventive and playful manner. The influences on AuE include the arrival of the First Fleet, Aboriginal English and the many ethnolects present in Australia, which have impacted, and continue to play a significant role in the expression of national identity, in addition to the abundance of Australian slang and colloquialisms.
Australian English (AuE) is a unique dialect of English, which is inventive and playful and reflects the national identity of Australia [just personal preference: I wouldn’t copy the prompt word for word in my contention sentence, so try think of synonyms. Apart from that, it's a good topic sentence]. Australian English has evolved over the years, beginning at the arrival of the First Fleet, and is continually developing and adapting according to global and national trends. It is a construct that represents national identity both on Australian shores and beyond, as it reflects the many different aspects and influences on Australia, in an inventive and playful manner [again, find synonyms]. The influences on AuE include the arrival of the First Fleet, Aboriginal English and the many ethnolects present in Australia, which have impacted, and continue to play a significant role in the expression of national identity, in addition to the abundance of Australian slang and colloquialisms.
Advice: apart from synonyms, it’s a pretty solid intro, so good job!When the First Fleet arrived in 1788, the inventive and playful manner of what is now Australian English was first shown. British soldiers and convicts from Britain, Ireland and Scotland all arrived with the First Fleet, with each having their own accents and dialects of English. However, it was the children from the First Fleet and later arriving ships which were responsible for the creation of the ‘Foundation Accent’ (The Language of Australia). This new accent morphed the accents of the convicts, settlers, squatters and soldiers, as the children would talk more like each other and less like their parents. This new foundation accent gave identity to Australians it was unique, and, being created by the children showed playful and rebellious language. However, at the time of Federation in 1901, the Australian accent was disfavoured, with it being said that Australians that spoke with this accent, ‘don’t know how to speak.’ (The Language of Australia) Elocution classes were introduced to teach children, and adults, the British Received Pronunciation, and the development of the Cultivated Accent occurred. The Australian accent did not appear in Australian film nor television, with the British Broadcasting Company only employing speakers with the British accent. It was not until the 1970’s when speaking with an Australian accent became accepted, as people wanted to be proud of their heritage. Thus being so, the Australian accent today, is as reflection of the history of Australia, and the playful language created by the children of the First Fleet, being a proud marker of national identity.
When the First Fleet arrived in 1788, the inventive and playful manner of what is now Australian English was first exhibited. British soldiers and convicts from Britain [I’m not too sure, but does Britain encompass Scotland?], Ireland and Scotland all arrived with the First Fleet, with each having their own accents and dialects of English. However, it was the children from the First Fleet and later arriving ships which were responsible for the creation of the ‘Foundation Accent’ (The Language of Australia). This new accent morphed the accents of the convicts, settlers, squatters and soldiers, as the children would talk more like each other and less like their parents. This new foundation accent gave identity to Australians since it was unique, and, being created by the children showed playful and rebellious language. However, at the time of Federation in 1901, the Australian accent was disfavoured, with it being said that Australians that spoke with this accent, ‘don’t know how to speak.’ (The Language of Australia) Elocution classes were introduced to teach children and adults the British Received Pronunciation, thereby culminating in the Cultivated Accent. Additionally, the Australian accent did not appear in Australian film nor television, with the British Broadcasting Company only employing speakers with the British accent. It was not until the 1970’s when speaking with an Australian accent became accepted, as people wanted to be proud of their heritage. As such, the Australian accent today is as reflection of our social history and the playful language synthesised by the children of the First Fleet, being a proud marker of national identity.
Advice: About the history: mention the cultural cringe movement (with respect to the resentment towards the Broad accent and the Cultivated being an aspiration, also mention for OVERT prestige and link to Higher socioeconomic status). More importantly: Try to link our colonial past with our current values of egalitarianism, larrikinism, mateship, etc. and explain how these reverberate in our language in modern society (i.e. make the essay CONTEMPORARY). In this paragraph, it is too focused on the history of Australian English, with little focus on the actual prompt, so in effect you’re not really addressing the crux of the question (there isn’t an extensive discussion on national identity/Aust English being playful or inventive). That being said, I can understand where you are coming from as I did the same thing when I wrote an essay about Aust. English. So in essence: this is EL, not history. Apart from that, you expression is great.Aboriginal English (AbE) is another dialect of English which is a major influence on our national identity. Arising from the need to communicate with the English speaking settlers who arrived in Australia in the 18th Century, Aboriginal English was developed, influenced by the 250 Indigenous Languages that were present at the time of colonisation. Currently, Aboriginal English is spoken by more than 80% of Aboriginal Australians as their main English. There are systematic phonological correspondences between the sound system of AbE and the sound system of Standard Australian English. Features of AbE include a more elaborated pronoun system, with ‘you’ referring to one person, and ‘you-mob’ referring to more than one person. There is also an optional inflection number, where s does not have to be added to show a plural, if the sentence already indicates a plural, for example, ‘Three cat.’ There is also an optional copula, where ‘she busy’ would be used as opposed to ‘she is busy.’ There are also many phonological features of AbE, including no ‘h’ sounds, with ‘f’, ‘v,’ and ‘th’ sounds being rare, as ‘f’ and ‘v’ are pronounced as ‘p’ or ‘b’. There are lexical differences in Aboriginal English, with ‘debil-debil’ meaning evil spirit, ‘grow up’ meaning raise a child and ‘charging on’ referring to drinking. Aboriginal societies are multi-lingual, and will vary the dialect they speak depending the identity they wish to express. Aboriginal English plays an important role in the expression of National identity, and reflects the cultural diversity that exists in the nation.
Aboriginal English (AbE) is another dialect of English which is a major influence on our national identity. Arising from the need to communicate with the English speaking settlers who arrived in Australia in the 18th Century, Aboriginal English was developed, influenced by the 250 Indigenous Languages that were present at the time of colonisation. Currently, Aboriginal English is spoken by more than 80% of Aboriginal Australians as their main English. There are systematic phonological correspondences between the sound system of AbE and the sound system of Standard Australian English. Features of AbE include a more elaborated pronoun system, with ‘you’ referring to one person, and ‘you-mob’ referring to more than one person. There is also an optional inflection number, where s does not have to be added to show a plural, if the sentence already indicates a plural, for example, ‘Three cat.’ There is also an optional copula, where ‘she busy’ would be used as opposed to ‘she is busy.’ There are also many phonological features of AbE, including no ‘h’ sounds, with ‘f’, ‘v,’ and ‘th’ sounds being rare, as ‘f’ and ‘v’ are pronounced as ‘p’ or ‘b’. There are lexical differences in Aboriginal English, with ‘debil-debil’ meaning evil spirit, ‘grow up’ meaning raise a child and ‘charging on’ referring to drinking. Aboriginal societies are multi-lingual, and will vary the dialect they speak depending ON the identity they wish to express. Aboriginal English plays an important role in the expression of National identity, and reflects the cultural diversity that exists in the nation.
Advice: again, you don’t really address the prompt in this paragraph - this BP hasn’t explained how AbE reflects our national identity, and hasn’t explained the playful nature of AuE. However, I love the inclusion of all the metalanguage (just use the IPA for the phonemes).Ethnolect in Australia also reflects the cultural diversity in Australia, and plays an important role in expressing the multi culturalism present in the nation. Individually, Ethnolects reveal the cultural affiliation of the speaker, however, as a whole expresses our national identity, and express the inventive and playful manner of AuE, in particular through the language of children of immigrant families. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, 26.8% of the Australian population was born outside of Australia, totalling over 6 million people. By 2050, it estimated that one third of the nation’s population will be born overseas. Along with this, comes an increase in cultural diversity and the desire for individuals to freely express their cultural identity within the Australian context. Children of immigrant families are often inventive with their language, embracing their cultural heritage whilst adopting some speech patterns of AuE to conform to their peer group. This results in the development of a playful dialect, such as seen on the Australian television show, Here Come the Habibs, which portrays a Lebanese family. The show features a teenage school girl, who speaks with a Lebanese accent using lexemes associated with Lebanon, such as ‘shoo’ meaning what’s up and ‘yallah’ meaning good bye, but also features of a more modern and informal English, such as ‘I swear to God’, ‘totes’ and ‘dis.’ This combination of Ethnolect and AuE is important in displaying the identity of both immigrants, but of Australia as a wider whole.
Ethnolects in Australia also reflect our cultural diversity, playing an important role in manifesting our multicultural values. Individually, ethnolects reveal the cultural affiliation of the speaker; however, as a whole expresses our national identity, and represents the inventive and playful manner of AuE, in particular through the language of children of immigrant families. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, 26.8% of the Australian population was born outside of Australia, totalling over 6 million people. By 2050, it estimated that one third of the nation’s population will be born overseas [This isn’t particularly relevant, just stating that immigrants/speakers with English as their L2 is sufficient]. Along with this, comes an increase in cultural diversity and the desire for individuals to freely express their cultural identity within the Australian context. Children of immigrant families are often inventive [find synonyms] with their language, embracing their cultural heritage whilst adopting some speech patterns of AuE to conform to their peer group. This results in the development of a playful dialect, as seen on the Australian television show Here Come the Habibs, which portrays a migrant Lebanese family living in Australia. The show features a teenage school girl who speaks with a Lebanese accent using lexemes associated with Lebanon, such as ‘shoo’ meaning 'what’s up' and ‘yallah’ meaning 'good bye', but also features of a more modern and informal English, such as ‘I swear to God’, ‘totes’ and ‘dis.’ [better use of contemporary example]. This combination of Ethnolect and AuE is important in displaying the identity of both immigrants, but of Australia as a wider whole.
Advice: I like how you have used the contemporary example; it has a nice analysis which is a huge plus. Overall, this is a good BP as you answer the first part of the prompt. Just make sure you hone in the national identity part - I’ve noticed you have mentioned it across the essay, but there hasn’t been an extensive analysis on it.A significant feature of Australian English is slang and colloquialisms which historically reflect the laid back, easy going and friendly nature of Australians. Slang and colloquialisms represent the very playful and inventive nature of AuE, with an Australian National University study finding that ‘using slang words … make tou more likeable to you fellow Australians.’ (Georgia Hitch) Australian slang is continually developing to reflect the values of Australians through the times, with ‘more than 16,000 Australianisms’ (Kate Burridge, The Conversation) being added to the Australian National Dictionary recently. Many of Australian slang words arise from Australia’s strong beach culture, such as ‘cossies’, ‘budgie smugglers’, ‘grommets’, and ‘nippers’. This playing and modifying words is a strong representation of playful nature of Australians, whilst further reflecting our values, such as beach culture. Diminutives are a common feature in Australian slang, including ‘ambo’, ‘truckie’, ‘uggies’, ‘barbie’ and ‘cockie,’ each with their own unique connotations which are understood by Australians. The playfulness of Australian slang plays a significant role in portraying the Australian identity.
A significant feature of Australian English is slang and colloquialisms which historically reflect the nonchalant and friendly nature of Australians. Slang and colloquialisms represent the very playful and inventive nature of AuE, with an Australian National University study finding that ‘using slang words … make you more likeable to you fellow Australians.’ (Georgia Hitch) Australian slang is continually developing to reflect the values of Australians through the times, with ‘more than 16,000 Australianisms’ (Kate Burridge, The Conversation) being recently added to the Australian National Dictionary [ such as ‘...’]. Many of Australian slang words arise from Australia’s strong beach culture, such as ‘cossies’, ‘budgie smugglers’, ‘grommets’, and ‘nippers’. This playing and modifying words [use lexemes to sound smarter ]is a strong representation of the playful nature of Australians, whilst further reflecting our values, such as beach culture. Hypocoristic diminutives are a common feature in Australian slang, including ‘ambo’, ‘truckie’, ‘uggies’, ‘barbie’ and ‘cockie,’ each with their own unique connotations which are understood by Australians. The playfulness of Australian slang plays a significant role in portraying the Australian identity.
Advice: although this paragraph addresses the prompt, the examples you have used are sort of ‘textbook’ examples, so try find something unique.Australian English is the major channel for the expression of national identity, expressing the values of Australians, and their inventive and playful way of communicating. There has been, and continues to be an abundance of influences on AuE, including colonisation, Aboriginal English and Ethnolect. The use of slang and colloquialisms in AuE are an important way for Australians to express their laid back and friendly nature, and to further develop the national identity.
Overall, the essay is pretty good (hence the lack of my corrections), I just think there should be a closer link between your arguments and the prompt. For instance, BP1 doesn’t really mention anything about national identity and only touches the surface of AuE being playful and inventive, whilst BP2 just seemed like a paragraph describing the features of AbE (I couldn’t see a link to AuE and our national identity). Additionally, you should include more linguist quotes to back up your assertions. However, your written expression is great, so you definitely have the potential to write an excellent essay.