Hey,
Thank you so much for the help.
I reconstructed my introduction and added in some stuff. Can you please check it:
Language is a concept and the means in which life forces communicate with each other through speech, visual and written system. Language is a fundamental bridge that enables a person to learn and understand a certain cultural group and the individuals within the bracket. Through the study of a particular language, it starts to crystalize the reality that identity is complex and subtle shown through its ever-changing and intricate nature. Identity is a network of interconnected elements which makes a person unique. Identity consists of personal, social and cultural facets which are influenced by the person’s relationship with each other and the environment it is in. Tara Winch’s ‘Swallow the Air’ (2016) demonstrates the complex and subtle nature of multiple identities through the protagonists’ relationships with others and connection with the ‘land.’ In addition, Oodgeroo Noonuccal’s ‘We Look After Our Own’ (1990) further explores the theory shown how convoluted identities are.
Also, I'm having trouble with the first paragraph. I can't expand my first sentence but I have my analysis on it. Do you have any suggestions?
An individual’s personal identity relies on its relationships with others. ---
On the chapter ‘Leaving Paradise’, May stated “… and the more he wasn’t there, the more I realised too, we were all gone.” The phrase explicitly demonstrates the protagonists’ strong connection with his brother shown through the interrelatedness of ‘he’ and ‘we’ as gone. In addition, the clause exhibits a well-built family relationship shown through family inclusion by using words such as “too”, “we” and “all.” However, in respect to a strong links within the family, the exposure to identity loss magnified as a member’s identity becomes part of another. Thus, the sentence displayed a loss of a fragment of May’s identity when Billy abandoned the home. For that reason, personal identity is proved to be complex.
Thank you so much!