[Up to Entry #2] Time to Improve My Time Management!

[lm21074]

Howdy!

So, um, this is a bit embarrassing. The following is going to sound like a teacher writing a report about a student who is consistently off-track, but this is probably the best way to describe my current self. Going to look back at this in a few months and I hope I come to realise how awful this all sounds. Sorry for the word vomit!

At the beginning of the year, I promised myself a few things. That I'd make myself proud at the end of the year. That I'd take care of myself. That I'd go to bed before 10pm each night and have a good routine. Without the latter point, the former ones can't really happen, right?

So I did some regrettable things, including staying up late in the holidays and never really resetting back to a normal sleep-wake cycle that revolved around school and studying. I also struggled with keeping my mental health (and wellbeing, for the HHD people) in check. Consequently during the remote learning period, I had a very odd and inconsistent sleep schedule (can we even call it a schedule?!). Seeing as tasks were due at 8am the following day for attendance to be marked, I'd do them in the early hours of the morning, even if I had woken up early that day. When my school found out that many other students were also staying up late (early) to finish the set work, the due date became the day that tasks were set. Of course, I struggled turning in my work on time. To add fuel to the fire, I had a rough patch during Term 1 which set me behind already in my work and relationships with others. All of this is something I'd never admit to my friends or peers because that would just make me admit to myself I was losing my mojo. I felt like my teachers and peers would look down upon me and stop believing in me. I got caught in an abyss.


In order to try to combat this, I asked myself,

"What is causing my thoughts / feelings / behaviours / actions?"

Ended up thinking of a few things.

1. Stress. The distress was getting to me slowly but surely (and the eustress and excitement of school almost vanished). I never noticed it at first, but I might have been ruminating a bit, telling myself an endless spiral of thoughts regarding the future. It's amazing how your brain and your mindset can influence your actions and behaviours.

How I'm going to deal with this:

It will probably never go away. Some stress is healthy (particularly eustress which can give you a drive during SAC and exam times), but not to the point where distress almost takes over your life. I plan to incorporate more stress boosting activities into my days / weeks like exercise for the beta-endorphins, being a bit more creative and escaping by reading some good fiction. I'll also use fewer strategies that deal with emotions of each stressor (avoidant coping strategies) such as going on social media (which acts as a temporary distraction), or rather, be more intentional with them. I'll find solutions to problems that are causing me stress where possible. I've started speaking to a psych at school. For instance, if I'm stressed about an upcoming SAC, I will make a giant list of all the topics covered using the study design and chip away at it.

people who have studied psych 3/4

I probably got caught in the resistance stage of Selye's GAS model (yay!!!), because I ended up catching a cold - remember that contracting minor illnesses occur in the resistance stage as the body not the exhaustion stage as high levels of cortisol interferes with the body's ability to fight disease (someone please clarify!). Can also apply the Lazarus and Folkman model here too. This paragraph is where I realise U3 AOS 1 Psych is helpful to me!

2. The environment I'm in. If I'm at my desk and I feel tired, I go on my bed and tell myself that I will study in a more comfortable environment and then end up falling asleep instead of studying. Think this is just me telling myself that I need to sleep. I really need to sleep. So much for going to bed before 10pm each night.

How I'm going to deal with this:

I'll start making my bedtime earlier by 30 mins each day, despite not having a set bedtime at the moment. I'll start at 12 or earlier and go from there until I reach ~9:30pm~. I'll stop using any devices at least an hour before I go to bed, but if I absolutely have to (which I shouldn't), I'll turn on f.lux (a blue light filter that gives your screen a copper coloured tint and allows you to dim your brightness even more than your computer's setting will go) and end up falling asleep. I also will stop being a "nomad study-er". I have a desk, which I will actually use and not associate as a place to fear and procrastinate. Might try using the Pomodoro technique, where you set timers and work for short blocks of time (around 25 minutes) and take a 5 minute break between each block.

Somewhere in there, I know my brain wants to make a comeback. It knows that thoughts are just words, and that it can see them for what they are. It knows that it is a culprit of faulty thinking patterns. It knows that there will be good times and bad times, and that trying to control any thoughts and feelings in an attempt to achieve a perfect mental state will not benefit me in the long run. It is aware of the goals I have to educate and inspire people one day to be the best they can be. I hope it will not let me down.

I'm talking about my brain as a separate entity, but it really is me. I'll save the "Is Your Brain Really You?" debate for another time.



Have a great day


tl;dr: I have the time management of a carrot. First, I'll review my current practices and be proactive with the hopes of improving to the onion level. Then, I'll go from there

[lm21074]

Hello, hello! Hope you're well


Just a mini update here.

Let's just say my attempts to achieve this goal (or at least become close to) could be much [much] better. If I was my future self, I'd look back at myself and feel for her and all the crap she's gone through, but I'd also be extremely disappointed. But, small steps. One step at a time. I can do this.

I've also identified another cause as to why my time management is so poor - perfectionism. When I was in Years 9 - probably about now, I had incredibly unrealistic expectations for myself in almost every aspect of my life. I was (am?!) always aiming for perfection in every. Single. Little. Thing. To the point where I became incredibly slow at doing things or just avoided doing them altogether.

I dug up a website that a past psychologist gave me containing some helpful worksheets and information sheets, and on this website, I found some about perfectionism and procrastination that I will read. If anyone's interested in looking at / using this resource, you can do so here.
There's a focus on challenging unhelpful thoughts and using a stepladder goal system to modify perfectionistic behaviours in the perfectionism modules. The procrastination modules suggest strategies such as doing the worst task first, working for just five minutes
So, based on this, I'd like to start acting before feeling motivated (so that I can get things done and the motivation might come). I'm also going to try to adopt the "This is uncomfortable but I can get through this and doing so will make me a stronger person" attitude. I guess it was always in me, but it's a fleeting thing. Our brains are interesting.

I think I can use perfectionism to my advantage, too (and so can you!). It can turn into a source of motivation, as long as I don't let it get out of hand.

If you're struggling right now, know that you can get to a better place. You can.

Going to leave this here for now.