Hey!
Thanks for the update
Trust can definitely be a hard thing especially when you're feeling especially vulnerable and unsure in yourself. For me when I was both wanting to share something and also not wanting anyone to know, I found that what worked well was to incrementally share more information. Not knowing whether or not someone will hurt you and/or betray that trust can be overwhelming but something my counsellor shared with me is that taking control over how you share your story reduces its power over you. Socially alienating yourself is unlikely to be a strong long term strategy (even though it's understandable - especially with everything that's happened) and I hope you do develop strong friendships to help support you despite apprehensive you might feel about that.
btw it's a good thing that you've been able to draw that boundary with your nan and not take on a role you're suited for. I can't imagine how hard the pressure to do that would be and I'm glad you were able to recognise it wouldn't be healthy. You know your nan a whole lot better than I do obviously but you can't
know she will be furious at you, maybe she will be but there's also the chance she won't. This sounds like a conversation that might be an increasingly heavy weight on you the more you hold it so please try to be careful with how long you delay it.
It's great to hear that you've been figuring yourself out and becoming more comfortable to share that with others! Labels are only as useful as you find them so it's 100% ok to prefer to think about yourself in a non-labelled way. Congratulations on learning about this aspect of your identity