THIS IS SO TRAGIC I CAN'T BELIEVE MYSELF aaaaahhhhhhhHHHHHHHHH WHY DOES MY STUPID BRAIN DO THIS. I'm actually kinda really mad at myself in the sense that I'm so mad that I'm just completely defeated and over it right now because uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuufasd;jkaf;jskdlj;aksfldjaf;sdkladhl
It's been almost a week since the holidays started which means it;s been almost two since my chem teacher introduced our projects for us to complete by the first week of term 2 and i haven't done a goddamn THING. We were meant to have chosen our research question by the second lesson but nooooo my dumb brain and the stupid procrastination monkey inside of it decided to just muck around in class and I'm mad at myself. I know it's the holidays and I can take it easy for the most part in regards to school work but we had a whole week to work on it before the holidays, which I now have to make up for, and it's due on the first lesson back. Which is the first day back. Which means I can't even get help from my teacher about it because I've been sitting around doing SQUAT. I don't know what to do lmaoo guess I'm gonna leave it to the last minute again. And because I'm an idiot I can use my two 3/4s as an excuse to flop chemistry. Of course I know it's a shit excuse but what can you do?? I might force myself to read a bit on whatever topic I force myself to choose before I sleep tonight but we'll see. I sound kinda agitated and panicked for no reason. I feel kinda agitated and panicked for no reason.
Also: I MET WITH MY BIO TUTOR FOR THE FIRST TIME TODAY!! Even though we're about to start term 2 I only decided to find one recently because of my tragic sac score :(( her name is Kylie and she's pretty nice. Even when my eyes started watering because I suddenly got Hella SadTM she didn't even flinch, and she finally helped me figure out the whole action potential thing (turns out my school just sucks at teaching it and they also use bad diagrams, oop). I'm a bit worried about whether or not it'll be worth it though - is $80/hr expensive? I just don't know if I want to spend so much money only for it to turn out to be a waste. Fingers crossed?
And because I'm a DumbassTM who loves wasting money and time that I know will only cause me more stress later I took a bus to Chadstone by myself (what kind of sad 16 year old goes shopping on the other side of the city by themself??) and walked around. I bought some track pants that have buttons along the leg that you can undo to make them flappy (I showed them to my bro and he hates them) and a huge breadstick that I'm actually eating now.
So overall, an okay day?? Not completely sure about that. I'm trying to at least get SOME schoolwork done tonight because a third of the holidays has already passed and the only thing I've done is rewrite my Latin notes from last year (I don't even know why). Currently the thoughts in my head sound something like:
chemIchemshouldchemfocuschemonchembiochemandchemmethodschembutchemthere'schemalsochemsochemmuchchemelsechemtochemdochem
Also I feel like this is important to say: during dinner tonight my brain put together a mAsHuP of the alphabet song, twinkle twinkle little star and ba ba black sheep because they all have the same tune (thanks Moazrt my bro) and it went smth like this:
Twinkle C D have you any wool
Yes sir wonder ella mella pee.
It's been stuck in my head since dinner. Go figure.
Gonna go on a mini Youtube marathon and then try do my work. Try.