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phi16180

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Station 11 essay feedback
« on: January 16, 2021, 03:34:00 pm »
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Any feedback on this essay would be very much appreciated  :).

Prompt: “Memory and its distortions are the primary source of conflict for characters in the novel.” To what extent is this true of Station Eleven

Emily St. John Mandel’s dystopian novel Station Eleven is an exploration of the purpose and function of memory. As such, Mandel suggests that a recollection of the past can motivate individuals to indulge in internal conflict, regardless of whether such a reflection is a blissful or sorrowful experience. However, while memories are a personal affair, they can also create a sense of community. The question posed to post-collapse society of whether “to teach the kids about the way things were” reveals the didactic potential of the past, a function which removes the true essence of memory as a conduit for exploring the various dimensions life, thus reducing it to distortions. Although memories, both learned and experienced, are able to offer plausible reasons behind one’s shortcomings, it is their own decisions which ultimately shape their inner disputes. Overall, while memories may be the predominant source of conflict, it is only these disagreements that illuminate the otherwise concealed meanings behind experiences.

Mandel implies that memories may prompt an individual to involuntarily engage in internal or external conflict. With his paramount acknowledgement, that the “world’s changes wouldn’t be reversed”, Clark’s memories are “cast in a sharper light” and he recalls “the last time” he “dwelt” in the minutiae of life. The author’s repetition of the phrase “last time” is implicit of Clark’s yearning to return to a civilisation which has already been entirely transformed. His retrospective thought that “[he] was there…pierce him through.” The profundity in this statement is captured by the pairing of the words “was there” emphasising the profound disparity existing between the pre- and post-collapse societies, a void which cannot be refilled. Further reinforcing this premise, the use of the word “pierce” encapsulates the large extent to which this particular thought has caused internal turmoil within him as he struggles between an “admixture of sadness and exhilaration”. His refrain that “it’s hard to explain” emphasises his inability to clearly articulate his thoughts, reminiscent of the “cloudy depths” of the snow globe. Paradoxically, however, this object’s capability of displaying “such beauty” parallels Clarke’s sense of satisfaction despite the cognitive dissonance he faces, ultimately resulting in a blissful experience. Mandel suggests that while a one-dimensional perspective can eventually be developed by an individual, it originates primarily from conflict. While memories are responsible for the unrest experienced by individuals, they may also cause disagreements between them. Kirsten’s admittance that she “do[es]n’t really…remember computer screens” is matched immediately by Alexandra’s “unsatisf[action]”. This disparity raises the fundamental question about the importance of experience as opposed to learning. While Alexandra is “enraptured” by the “screen” her appreciation has “no memories attached”, making it disingenuous as it influenced entirely by the views of others. On the other hand, Kirsten “harboured visions” of the past such as “a lamp with a pink shade on the side table.” The unparalleled clarity with which she is able to recall these trivial aspects of modern-day civilisation reveals her ability to authentically explore the experience, enabling her to understand its true “beauty.” Using this juxtaposition however, Mandel favours memories as pathways to explore the past; a perspective which largely overshadows their ability to create a dispute.


Hence, the dilemma which originates from whether to “teach the kids” about the past is due to the didactic potential of memories; a function which removes the true capacity of retrospection, reducing it to mere distortions. In a broader sense, communities in post-collapse society opt to base their decisions about whether to inform their children “about what happened” based on how it affects their welfare. The parental undertone evident in Daria’s voice as she bases her choice on whether discussion about the past “make [the children] more or less happy”, emphasises that her role as a mother overpowers her considerations of “teach[ing]” her children about the past. However, this caring assertion is in itself the basis of this conflict as it results in a segregation of society between the old and the young. As such, where the individuals of the “pre-pandemic world” are only now able to appreciate the profound “beauty” of the world, those who are young will only witness the “decrepitude.” Interestingly however, this means that the “strange fragments” of thoughts harboured within individuals, will ultimately cast their reflections in the form of the separation of understanding within a society reliant on “community.” In order to circumvent this potential conflict, a sense of communal memory must be formed, thus creating a unified perspective through which the post-apocalyptic reality may be understood. This, however, is strongly reminiscent of the “impersonality of the modern world”, which in turn, leads to the inevitable disconnection between humans. Indeed, it seems that this is not the resolution, but rather the formation of a principle which completely undermines the dictum “survival is insufficient” which is the basis of community in a post-collapse landscape.

While memories can serve to clarify and find meaning within the past, it is the decisions that an individual makes which are responsible for shaping their fate. Actor Arthur Leander’s reflection on his “unmoored” past leads to his revelation of finitude. Albeit Mandel portrays Station Eleven as a tragic portrait of Leander’s demise constructed only from his collective decisions. Heavily influenced by the Hollywood “machine”, Arthur chooses to exist “in permanent state of disorientation” in which he is perpetually acting, a fact unveiled by his inability to meet Miranda’s “gaze” at the dinner party, which is later explained to be the cause of their failed marriage. The question which permeates throughout his professional life is “who in Hollywood longs to be older?” which exemplifies his transformation from an actor who “loved acting” into a film star obsessed with being “noticed” and “seen” and “remembered”; a reality which occurs to him as he ruminates on his failings. The death of Leander from a heart attack on stage, resplendent in his King Lear “velvet gown” and magnificent “crown” that Miranda prefers to his “Toronto Blue Jays cap”, encapsulates the complete quietus of his selfhood. Mandel, however, attempts to resurrect his death as he appreciates the stage as “the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.” This demonstrates the possibility that Leander may have redeemed himself if he had lived for “truth and beauty” as opposed to the superficiality of Hollywood. Choices have demonstrably led to his ultimate downfall

Overall, what emerges from Emily St. Mandel’s novel Station Eleven is a keen exploration of the multifaceted purpose of memory in shaping an individual through conflicts. On the contrary, the novel argues that decisions foundationally form an individual’s fate.
« Last Edit: January 16, 2021, 05:56:39 pm by phi16180 »

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Re: Station 11 essay feedback
« Reply #1 on: January 16, 2021, 05:56:29 pm »
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Any feedback on this essay would be very much appreciated  :).

Prompt: “Memory and its distortions are the primary source of conflict for characters in the novel.” To what extent is this true of Station Eleven

Emily St. John Mandel’s dystopian novel Station Eleven is an exploration of the purpose and function of memory. As such, Mandel suggests that a recollection of the past can motivate individuals to indulge in internal conflict, regardless of whether such a reflection is a blissful or sorrowful experience. However, while memories are a personal affair, they can also create a sense of community. The question posed to post-collapse society of whether “to teach the kids about the way things were” reveals the didactic potential of the past, a function which removes the true essence of memory as a conduit for exploring the various dimensions life, thus reducing it to distortions. Although memories, both learned and experienced, are able to offer plausible reasons behind one’s shortcomings, it is their own decisions which ultimately shape their inner disputes. Overall, while memories may be the predominant source of conflict, it is only these disagreements that illuminate the otherwise concealed meanings behind experiences.

Mandel implies that memories may prompt an individual to involuntarily engage in internal or external conflict. With his paramount acknowledgement, that the “world’s changes wouldn’t be reversed”, Clark’s memories are “cast in a sharper light” and he recalls “the last time” he “dwelt” in the minutiae of life. The author’s repetition of the phrase “last time” is implicit of Clark’s yearning to return to a civilisation which has already been entirely transformed. His retrospective thought that “[he] was there…pierce him through.” The profundity in this statement is captured by the pairing of the words “was there” emphasising the profound disparity existing between the pre- and post-collapse societies, a void which cannot be refilled. Further reinforcing this premise, the use of the word “pierce” encapsulates the large extent to which this particular thought has caused internal turmoil within him as he struggles between an “admixture of sadness and exhilaration”. His refrain that “it’s hard to explain” emphasises his inability to clearly articulate his thoughts, reminiscent of the “cloudy depths” of the snow globe. Paradoxically, however, this object’s capability of displaying “such beauty” parallels Clarke’s sense of satisfaction despite the cognitive dissonance he faces, ultimately resulting in a blissful experience. Mandel suggests that while a one-dimensional perspective can eventually be developed by an individual, it originates primarily from conflict. While memories are responsible for the unrest experienced by individuals, they may also cause disagreements between them. Kirsten’s admittance that she “do[es]n’t really…remember computer screens” is matched immediately by Alexandra’s “unsatisf[action]”. This disparity raises the fundamental question about the importance of experience as opposed to learning. While Alexandra is “enraptured” by the “screen” her appreciation has “no memories attached”, making it disingenuous as it influenced entirely by the views of others. On the other hand, Kirsten “harboured visions” of the past such as “a lamp with a pink shade on the side table.” The unparalleled clarity with which she is able to recall these trivial aspects of modern-day civilisation reveals her ability to authentically explore the experience, enabling her to understand its true “beauty.” Using this juxtaposition however, Mandel favours memories as pathways to explore the past; a perspective which largely overshadows their ability to create a dispute.


Hence, the dilemma which originates from whether to “teach the kids” about the past is due to the didactic potential of memories; a function which removes the true capacity of retrospection, reducing it to mere distortions. In a broader sense, communities in post-collapse society opt to base their decisions about whether to inform their children “about what happened” based on how it affects their welfare. The parental undertone evident in Daria’s voice as she bases her choice on whether discussion about the past “make [the children] more or less happy”, emphasises that her role as a mother overpowers her considerations of “teach[ing]” her children about the past. However, this caring assertion is in itself the basis of this conflict as it results in a segregation of society between the old and the young. As such, where the individuals of the “pre-pandemic world” are only now able to appreciate the profound “beauty” of the world, those who are young will only witness the “decrepitude.” Interestingly however, this means that the “strange fragments” of thoughts harboured within individuals, will ultimately cast their reflections in the form of the separation of understanding within a society reliant on “community.” In order to circumvent this potential conflict, a sense of communal memory must be formed, thus creating a unified perspective through which the post-apocalyptic reality may be understood. This, however, is strongly reminiscent of the “impersonality of the modern world”, which in turn, leads to the inevitable disconnection between humans. Indeed, it seems that this is not the resolution, but rather the formation of a principle which completely undermines the dictum “survival is insufficient” which is the basis of community in a post-collapse landscape.

While memories can serve to clarify and find meaning within the past, it is the decisions that an individual makes which are responsible for shaping their fate. Actor Arthur Leander’s reflection on his “unmoored” past leads to his revelation of finitude. Albeit Mandel portrays Station Eleven as a tragic portrait of Leander’s demise constructed only from his collective decisions. Heavily influenced by the Hollywood “machine”, Arthur chooses to exist “in permanent state of disorientation” in which he is perpetually acting, a fact unveiled by his inability to meet Miranda’s “gaze” at the dinner party, which is later explained to be the cause of their failed marriage. The question which permeates throughout his professional life is “who in Hollywood longs to be older?” which exemplifies his transformation from an actor who “loved acting” into a film star obsessed with being “noticed” and “seen” and “remembered”; a reality which occurs to him as he ruminates on his failings. The death of Leander from a heart attack on stage, resplendent in his King Lear “velvet gown” and magnificent “crown” that Miranda prefers to his “Toronto Blue Jays cap”, encapsulates the complete quietus of his selfhood. Mandel, however, attempts to resurrect his death as he appreciates the stage as “the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.” This demonstrates the possibility that Leander may have redeemed himself if he had lived for “truth and beauty” as opposed to the superficiality of Hollywood. Choices have demonstrably led to his ultimate downfall

Overall, what emerges from Emily St. Mandel’s novel Station Eleven is a keen exploration of the multifaceted purpose of memory in shaping an individual through conflicts. On the contrary, the novel argues that decisions foundationally form an individual’s fate.

Hey phi16180,

I would be more than happy to look at this for you! I'll try to get this back to you as soon as possible :)

Have a great week and kind regards,

Darcy Dillon.
QUT 2021 - Bachelor of Education (Primary).

LearnVCEEnglish

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Re: Station 11 essay feedback
« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2021, 04:50:20 pm »
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Hi phi16180!

I'm not sure if this one has been marked yet, but I thought I would give more general assistance. This is just some general support with regard to the introduction, but I do think addressing these issues first would improve the overall approach the essay is taking.

Emily St. John Mandel’s dystopian novel Station Eleven is an exploration of the purpose and function of memory. As such, Mandel suggests that a recollection of the past can motivate individuals to indulge in internal conflict, regardless of whether such a reflection is a blissful or sorrowful experience. However, while memories are a personal affair, they can also create a sense of community. The question posed to post-collapse society of whether “to teach the kids about the way things were” reveals the didactic potential of the past, a function which removes the true essence of memory as a conduit for exploring the various dimensions life, thus reducing it to distortions. Although memories, both learned and experienced, are able to offer plausible reasons behind one’s shortcomings, it is their own decisions which ultimately shape their inner disputes. Overall, while memories may be the predominant source of conflict, it is only these disagreements that illuminate the otherwise concealed meanings behind experiences.


This introduction indicates that you’re really familiar with the ideas behind the text, which is great!
I think the issue is that this introduction is not clearly answering the question posed – it is a bit more like a rambling philosophical discussion of different ideas kind of tied in to the topic. This is a list of everything your introduction is saying:
-   Memories can motivate individuals to indulge in internal conflict
-   Memories are a personal affair
-   Memories also create a sense of community
-   The past has didactic potential
-   Because the past can be viewed didactically this results in memories becoming distorted (this idea is not very clearly presented in a single sentence – you may need to workshop this a bit more)
-   Memories provide insight into one’s shortcomings
-   It is the decisions of characters that ultimately shape their responses to conflict
-   While memories are predominant sources of conflict, conflict itself provides insight into meaning behind experiences (a really great idea!)

It looks like a collection of ideas, as opposed to a cohesive response to the topic. Remember that you are looking to answer the question, “to what extent is this true?” Is it to a large extent? Or a small extent? You need to clearly articulate your approach and support it with the pillars of your arguments.

In VCE English a 10/10 Text Response English essay “demonstrates an understanding of the implications of the topic, using an appropriate strategy for dealing with it.” It’s the strategy bit that’s missing here. Another drawback of your approach is that some of your more excellent ideas are less impactful – your last idea is a really great one and it would be great if it centered more prominently in your discussion.
I think fixing these issue first will assist you in light of the marking criteria: 1) Clarifying the response to the question 2) Articulating it in a clear contention 3) Utilising your arguments to support your contention

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phi16180

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Re: Station 11 essay feedback
« Reply #3 on: January 26, 2021, 10:20:52 am »
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Hi, any feedback would be greatly appreciated  :)