Welcome to the forums Demi!
I think this is a really good Thesis
paragraph! As Megan has said, the Thesis itself is normally a sentence or two but the intro paragraph should be lengthy. So, I wouldn't say it is too long - A solid Thesis paragraph is really important, so spending ~70 words on it is definitely valid. The only thing I'd recommend is a bit of a structural change. This is generally how I set up my Thesis statements:
- A general statement(s) linking the question and the module. In yours, you'll talk about how ideas need to be represented differently to different audiences, how this is affected by context, and how considering texts in tandem allows new understandings.
- Link this to your text: Atwood has appropriated ideas in the Tempest for a contemporary audience so they can be more impactful. Basically what you've done in your Thesis here.
- Establish your paragraph topics; this provides the reader a sense of direction and scope.
- A quick concluding sentence.
For me this was normally just over 100 words - You've got most of the pieces, I'd just like to see some of the ideas you've presented to be presented generally first. The ideas should stand by themselves, with the texts as evidence, rather than the ideas relying on the texts directly if that makes sense?