A healthier year

[K888]

So like, currently, I'm not the hugest fan of mindfulness.
Context: we had to do this 4 week program through uni (called the Health Enhancement Program, all about reducing stress, enabling us to cope with stuff in the workplace, blah blah blah), which I hated, and found completely useless. One of the things we did in it was mindfulness, and like, the program ruined it for me. I won't rant about it too much though, haha.

Anyway, I realise that mindfulness seems to be a pretty cool thing. And I want to really give it a red hot crack before I make proper judgements about it. People who I'm good friends with swear by it, and I really trust their opinions and thoughts. Plus like, I figure, if it's helpful - then awesome, it'll have helped me deal with my anxiety a bit, but then if I decide it's not for me, then I haven't really lost anything.

If anyone has good suggestions for mindfulness, happy to take them on board. I have the app Smiling Mind, which I'm gonna trial, but I don't know how I'll find the voiceover haha. Usually, I'd try to incorporate this mindfulness stuff into sport (I think I subconsciously did it over my years of playing soccer!) but unfortunately due to injury am severely limited in the physical activity I can do for the foreseeable future

Anywho, just want to use this as a reminder to myself to be mindful, as a space for people to tell me about their experiences, and maybe a space for you guys to remind me every now and then to be mindful

[Coffee]

Yes, Kate! Really looking forward to hearing more about your experiences. Keep us updated!

I also really want to start practicing mindfulness, but I'm not sure where to start. If you come across any tips or tricks, let me know!

[Joseph41]

Yes, Kate! Really looking forward to hearing more about your experiences. Keep us updated!

I also really want to start practicing mindfulness, but I'm not sure where to start. If you come across any tips or tricks, let me know!

Start with Smiling Mind! Start a thread!

[zofromuxo]

  As someone who began the "mindfulness" journey a year ago. My biggest advice is "Take it slow!!!".

Mindfulness takes a long time to see progress and is quite subtle. I have days where I can meditate for 20 minutes, other times for a minute for a Session.

So take it slow, also be aware that mindfulness isn't just meditation, it can just be more self-aware or being more aware.
I like to not go on my phone, while on a commute and just observe what is going on and that really improved my awareness a lot. So don't be afraid to try different things as well.

But I wish you all the best, if you want more advice, tips, guidance or ranting over your progress my inbox here is open.

[K888]

If I eat lunch (not the most common occurrence), I usually do it while doing something on my laptop or phone, and I don't pay attention to my food at all haha (usually leads to me eating too fast then getting reflux ). In an effort to change that, today I ate lunch with zero distractions. Was really nice. Didn't stress about what I had to do after lunch. Enjoyed the sun pouring through my window instead.

Another small moment - was walking to the library this afternoon, and I usually would have my headphones on. Decided to keep them in my bag, and just enjoy the walk instead. Can confirm, I did enjoy the walk - the weather was amazing, it was nice and sunny, there was a nice breeze - perfect spring weather.

Finally realised where a feeling of something missing I've had since moving to Melbourne for uni has been coming from - there's no smell! Back home, my house backs onto the bush - I've grown up smelling grass, heaps of eucalyptus trees, wattle trees, flowers, and just general bush smells, and now I lack that. Like, you sometimes get a vague scent of flowers or something, but it mostly just smells like nothing, or cars. It's also never quiet here. How do you people deal with it? I feel like I'm accustomed to it by now, but I still miss the serenity of home.

[heids]

It's those small moments of awareness and peace that define mindfulness for me, not a formal practice.  I love reading about them haha, they are the real moments of life.

[K888]

Just an update to say I've been super slack with this haha.

Have really struggled to clear my mind recently. It feels like my mind is just whirring away non-stop all the time, I'm so tense, and I just can't relax. I think I'm an unconscious overthinker haha.

I guess the hardest part of something is starting it. I've tried setting a reminder to use Smiling Mind, but when it comes up, I just swipe away the notification - I mean, a) the notification makes me anxious, and b) I'm now at the stage where I feel bad about not investing myself in this and it just perpetuates the cycle of me not practicing lol.

[Bri MT]

There are also other apps out there eg mindshift which may also be worth trying.

I found that for me progressive muscle relaxation was helpful in learning to establish a meditative state. If you're unfamiliar with it,  you basically tense up and release different body parts sequentially until you're completely relaxed

Good luck,  I hope you find a method useful for you

[zofromuxo]

Just an update to say I've been super slack with this haha.

Have really struggled to clear my mind recently. It feels like my mind is just whirring away non-stop all the time, I'm so tense, and I just can't relax. I think I'm an unconscious overthinker haha.

I guess the hardest part of something is starting it. I've tried setting a reminder to use Smiling Mind, but when it comes up, I just swipe away the notification - I mean, a) the notification makes me anxious, and b) I'm now at the stage where I feel bad about not investing myself in this and it just perpetuates the cycle of me not practicing lol.

Okay, first thing that has to change is the idea of clearing your mind of thoughts . You don't want to do that at all period. Your mind will make thoughts and that is okay. Mindfulness is being aware & accepting your thoughts.

Here are some analogies, mental models or whatever people call them to help you.

1: Picture a mountain with a clear sky & clouds. Your the mountain, your thoughts are like clouds. Clouds come above the mountain and fly away. The mountain stays still regardless of what the clouds do. You as the mountain can look up and see these clouds passing by, but you don't get bothered by them. You just accept them and stay focused on staying still.

2: The Sushi train scenario
-Your minds is a sushi chef, its job is to make sushi for the train
-The Sushi can be Good, Neutral or Bad. These represent your thoughts.
-The consumer is you, you just sit there and watch all the sushi go by you on the train.
-You don't dwell on the bad sushi or indulge the good sushi. You let it pass and accept it was good, bad or neutral.

3: Soup of the day/Soup Bowl
-The bowl is your mind
-The soup are your thoughts
-The Bowl doesn't change, but the soup changes every moment
-You as the bowl accept this and just be aware of it.

In all of these models above, I haven't mention anything about clearing your mind because that isn't what mindfulness is. Mindfulness is being aware of your thoughts and accepting them.

I think the potential reason for the anxiety for doing Smiling Mind and why you weren't anxious before as illustrated in your previous entry. It felt natural, you didn't force it, you were in control and no expectation/goal was placed to doing it.

As stated by heids and miniturtle have mindfulness can be different and doesn't have to be listening to guided apps and that is fine. I used to use Smiling Mind at the start until I reached a point where guided meditation wasn't my jam and switched over to focusing on my breath/mantra based meditation. But keep trying and don't lose hope as you said yourself. The hardest part is starting it. So go in with no expectation or set a small one like I'll be mindful for one second/moment.

As the saying goes, "Different strokes for different folks" .

[K888]

Okay, first thing that has to change is the idea of clearing your mind of thoughts. You don't want to do that at all period. Your mind will make thoughts and that is okay. Mindfulness is being aware & accepting your thoughts.

Poor expression on my behalf; I meant "struggling to clear my mind" as in finding it hard to focus on the present.

To me, it's important that I learn to focus on what's happening in the present, because that will allow me to see and accept my thoughts for what they are. I think it's also an important skill for me to learn, because admittedly, a lot of my anxiety probably comes from me constantly thinking about what has to be done in the future that I haven't done yet and stressing about how I haven't got my life together, etc. haha. So the way I see it - if I can focus on the present, I can take a step back and breathe, and enjoy things a bit more.

I don't think I have a problem with accepting my thoughts - maybe I do have a problem with acknowledging that they're ok thoughts to have, but like, I wouldn't have made this thread if I didn't acknowledge that I have anxiety and need to do something about it.

[K888]

(Disclaimer: I apologise for the long post! The formatting is terrible, despite my efforts to make it readable.)

So, I've decided to acknowledge something I've secretly known for a while after reading this.
I also had a discussion about this with my sister in law tonight when I was visiting her and my brother, and I was making a cup of tea. While the kettle was boiling, I was browsing my phone, and I was chatting with my sister in law, too. Anyway, once the kettle had boiled, I realised, and said to my sister in law "you know, I could not tell you whether 3 minutes, or 1 hour passed, in the time it took for the kettle to boil - I was totally not present at all" - despite the fact I had carried out a conversation with her about raw sugar and how our tea drinking habits change depending on how many people we're making tea for. I just felt like I didn't fully exist in those moments, I guess. Like I said, I wasn't present.
Anyway, returning from that tangent - we got into a deep discussion about how we rely on our phones and all that. And it inspired me to write this post, because I think it's a key issue in my quest to be more mindful (and more happy).

I definitely rely on my phone wayyyy too much, and I use it too much.
- When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is check Facebook, Messenger, Snapchat and Instagram.
- If I'm not rushing, I might even be browsing my phone while I'm eating breakfast (I try to not do this though, because eating requires my full attention as a) I'm uncoordinated, and b) if I don't pay attention to my food, I eat it too quickly and get reflux haha).
- At uni, I usually check my phone periodically during lectures.
- I'll probably be on my phone if I eat lunch, and when I'm not at uni, my phone is always close at hand, ready to be quickly checked if I'm bored, get a notification, etc. If I put the kettle on to make a cup of tea, I'll be on my phone while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil.
- Now I also live out of home and eat dinner by myself - I tend to be on my phone or laptop while I'm eating dinner (though I've been making a conscious effort to not do this recently).
- Before I go to sleep, I browse Facebook and Instagram, I check Messenger and Snapchat, and I might spend a few minutes on Pinterest as well.
I'm at the point where I have to put my phone on do not disturb, and put it in my desk drawers, or I have to hide it under stuff on my desk, to stop me from getting distracted while I try to study.

I'm sure most of you can sympathise with the feeling of angst when you don't get an immediate reply after sending a message (particularly if it says they're active on Facebook haha). It's so stupid - why do I need instant gratification? Does it make a difference to my life, whether the person takes 1 minute or 20 minutes to reply to my message? Not really.

I'm making a conscious effort to be ok without that instant gratification - and to be honest, I genuinely don't mind people taking their time to reply, I never want any of my friends to feel obligated to reply to me. I don't feel offended by the fact that they don't reply instantly at all. But, I still get a nagging voice in my head when it's been like, 5 minutes, and I can see that they're active, that says "they're ignoring you, they don't want to talk to you, why did you send that message?" Really, they're probably just doing something else, and why should they have to drop everything to respond to me?
And I think that that nagging voice is a product of our "need" for instant gratification - it's a self-perpetuating cycle. I mean, plus, it's also there because of the constant fear I've had my whole life that my friends secretly dislike me (again, everyone can probably echo this sentiment haha).

So, I'm gonna try one of those apps that helps you decrease your screentime. I've started with an app called "Offtime", but I'm probably gonna try a few and find out what works best for me. So far, I like that you have 60 seconds to renege on your choice to exit the offtime mode. If anyone has any good app recommendations for this sort of stuff - I'm all ears

I love technology, I truly do - I value my ability to be connected, to talk to friends that I would otherwise not get to interact with very often (particularly now with getting in the way of everything). But I also recognise that I need to not rely on it. And my reliance on it, particularly my phone, will always hinder my ability to be mindful, to be aware of my thoughts and engage with them, and to be generally happy with my existence.

Yeah. Sorry for the word vomit haha. Any thoughts?

[sweetiepi]

Another app suggestion is Forest, but it only is effective for 2 hour blocks at a time.
(I feel with the phone addiction haha)

[heids]

Re. phone addiction, I've read and thought about it in detail, and I'm very concerned about it, so these are my strategies:

- I use wifi at home, but when out, I have no internet (intentionally have no data)
- my phone is always on do-not-disturb
- I avoid social media feeds (...not chat or forums lol)
- I don't touch my phone when talking to anyone else
- no phone while eating
- don't allow myself to expect instant replies or always give instant replies

Even so, I still use it too much while at home... it's a work in progress .
It's sooooo worth training imo, though.  Phone and internet addictions absolutely kill mindfulness.

I just had nine days of no internet - such a constant craving for something new to look at or someone to chat to... it took a lot of breathing and self-reflection to be able to be content within myself for hours at a time rather than seeking external distraction.  But - the peace.  I feel like I've grown a lot during that time because of it.

(inb4 my mother steps in with "if someone collected all the information you are so impatient to get from online feeds and chats into a book, would you bother reading it?" hahahaha)

[rainbowsparkles15]

(Disclaimer: I apologise for the long post! The formatting is terrible, despite my efforts to make it readable.)

So, I've decided to acknowledge something I've secretly known for a while after reading this.
I also had a discussion about this with my sister in law tonight when I was visiting her and my brother, and I was making a cup of tea. While the kettle was boiling, I was browsing my phone, and I was chatting with my sister in law, too. Anyway, once the kettle had boiled, I realised, and said to my sister in law "you know, I could not tell you whether 3 minutes, or 1 hour passed, in the time it took for the kettle to boil - I was totally not present at all" - despite the fact I had carried out a conversation with her about raw sugar and how our tea drinking habits change depending on how many people we're making tea for. I just felt like I didn't fully exist in those moments, I guess. Like I said, I wasn't present.
Anyway, returning from that tangent - we got into a deep discussion about how we rely on our phones and all that. And it inspired me to write this post, because I think it's a key issue in my quest to be more mindful (and more happy).

I definitely rely on my phone wayyyy too much, and I use it too much.
- When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is check Facebook, Messenger, Snapchat and Instagram.
- If I'm not rushing, I might even be browsing my phone while I'm eating breakfast (I try to not do this though, because eating requires my full attention as a) I'm uncoordinated, and b) if I don't pay attention to my food, I eat it too quickly and get reflux haha).
- At uni, I usually check my phone periodically during lectures.
- I'll probably be on my phone if I eat lunch, and when I'm not at uni, my phone is always close at hand, ready to be quickly checked if I'm bored, get a notification, etc. If I put the kettle on to make a cup of tea, I'll be on my phone while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil.
- Now I also live out of home and eat dinner by myself - I tend to be on my phone or laptop while I'm eating dinner (though I've been making a conscious effort to not do this recently).
- Before I go to sleep, I browse Facebook and Instagram, I check Messenger and Snapchat, and I might spend a few minutes on Pinterest as well.
I'm at the point where I have to put my phone on do not disturb, and put it in my desk drawers, or I have to hide it under stuff on my desk, to stop me from getting distracted while I try to study.

I'm sure most of you can sympathise with the feeling of angst when you don't get an immediate reply after sending a message (particularly if it says they're active on Facebook haha). It's so stupid - why do I need instant gratification? Does it make a difference to my life, whether the person takes 1 minute or 20 minutes to reply to my message? Not really.

I'm making a conscious effort to be ok without that instant gratification - and to be honest, I genuinely don't mind people taking their time to reply, I never want any of my friends to feel obligated to reply to me. I don't feel offended by the fact that they don't reply instantly at all. But, I still get a nagging voice in my head when it's been like, 5 minutes, and I can see that they're active, that says "they're ignoring you, they don't want to talk to you, why did you send that message?" Really, they're probably just doing something else, and why should they have to drop everything to respond to me?
And I think that that nagging voice is a product of our "need" for instant gratification - it's a self-perpetuating cycle. I mean, plus, it's also there because of the constant fear I've had my whole life that my friends secretly dislike me (again, everyone can probably echo this sentiment haha).

So, I'm gonna try one of those apps that helps you decrease your screentime. I've started with an app called "Offtime", but I'm probably gonna try a few and find out what works best for me. So far, I like that you have 60 seconds to renege on your choice to exit the offtime mode. If anyone has any good app recommendations for this sort of stuff - I'm all ears

I love technology, I truly do - I value my ability to be connected, to talk to friends that I would otherwise not get to interact with very often (particularly now with getting in the way of everything). But I also recognise that I need to not rely on it. And my reliance on it, particularly my phone, will always hinder my ability to be mindful, to be aware of my thoughts and engage with them, and to be generally happy with my existence.

Yeah. Sorry for the word vomit haha. Any thoughts?

 I relate to this so so so much! It can be quite scary when I look back and realise how much of my life I haven't really been 'in the moment' for. Reading this re-instigates my want to change that so thank you !

It can really help to work in small steps. I deleted snapchat a few months ago and although I guiltily reinstalled it once, I now don't miss it at all!
Sometimes when my family is eating together and all on our phones I make sure everyone leaves them in a pile so we can chat without distractions.
When I do homework, I also find I get distracted easily. One thing I've started to do is put a timer on my phone, e.g. a 30 minute timer and in that time I have to finish my English homework. It means I work fast and productively without the distraction and know I have an end goal so it isn't never ending!

I definitely know I need to be more conscious about changing my reliance on technology so thank you for reminding me again how important this is!

[K888]

Okay, so, with the new year and all (plus the fact that the past few days have been pretty good), I've decided to revive this. Need to think of a more general title related to mental health, because this is going to expand past being mindful and that sort of thing (that's not to say being mindful has no place here, because it's definitely going to be an important part, I hope).

The last few months of 2017 were pretty shit. My anxiety spiralled out of control, yada yada yada. No need to tell the whole story.
I'm determined to make 2018 much better, and with the support of both medical professionals and amazing friends, I'm gonna get there. Here I'll be able to share stuff with you guys about my journey to improve my mental health

One thing I've done is taken up a hobby. The other day, I went to Spotlight with my sister-in-law, and we got me a long stitch kit (didn't even know what it was until a few days ago!) so I can do something with my hands. This'll hopefully a) give me something to do to calm my mind (and my shaking hands), and b) help me feel like I can actually do things. Already enjoying it, looking forward to doing more and maybe expanding my hobby repertoire.

I'm also trying to establish more routines in my day to help me function better. Once something becomes routine, it gets easier, and you don't think about it.

Another thing I want to do is exercise more. I've been playing soccer for years and years but injuries over the past few years have limited my participation, and surgery last year meant I missed my first full season since I started playing. I have to get more surgery in a few weeks time, but I'm hoping to make it back to soccer this year in some capacity. I really miss the organised exercise, and the social aspect of it, and not having soccer last year (plus the mental side of not being able to do the things people the same age as you) definitely was a big factor in my worsening mental health, I think.

Moreover, I want to become okay with who I am. I don't really know what that means yet, but I hope I will soon.

Oh - and one thing I did was delete the Facebook app off my phone! That's actually been really, really great. No more intrusive notifications, I use Facebook (and my phone in general, think) less, and that's good. I've also spent less time on my laptop as well, and it's been refreshing to not be constantly using technology.

Just mentioning as an aside, if you're ever struggling, please go speak to your GP. Making that appointment and having the conversation is difficult, but it's so, so worth it. The Headspace website may also be useful.

There's also numbers like:
Lifeline - 13 11 14
Samaritans - 135 247