Hey,
I've had a chance to look now
Here's some feedback!
Looks like you have good psych knowledge but be careful with your writing. E.g. consistent use of past tense, spelling & grammar.
I'm still a bit confused by your discussion on allocation - you can use random allocation with an independent groups study design (even though in your case it was convenience allocation). Furthermore, did you visually inspect the data to see whether there was an approximate bell-curve shape?
Finally, you don't want your improvements to be based on data handling that you could fix easily right now (e.g. removing outliers, use of a different stat test). You made a good point earlier about not having a representative sample - consider how you could talk about this in your limitations and improvements section.
For improvements and extensions, look back through limitations and for every limitation try to identify at least one thing that could address that. Have you thought about your sample size?
I hope this helps and please feel free to follow up on any questions!