Relationship deal-breakers

[Joseph41]

- Drastically opposing political ideals.
- A lack of understanding pertaining to introversion, anxiety, and other such traits relevant to my personality. Or, more accurately, no willingness to learn.
- Disloyalty.

EDIT: I guess I should say something here like, "and you?"

[Aaron]

- Disloyalty / cheating
- Incompatibilities (mainly personality, such as if they are a backstabber or troublemaker - which is not warranted)
- Attachment (too clingy = no no). I like my personal space

That's all I can really think of at the moment.

[keltingmeith]

Believing in pseudoscience and using it to shape your decision.

No, the fact that a ball of gas is in some half of the sky won't mean that you'll get fired, don't quit your job. Crystals won't heal you, see a goddamn doctor. And for heaven's sake, vaccinate your kids, they wont suddenly get autism from it.

Otherwise, I'm a pretty chill guy - not one to judge or not try something because of the way someone is. If it's not meant to be, I'll figure that out over the course of the relationship, anyway.

[Calebark]

-Inability to understand mental illness (for both my sake and her sake -- otherwise it's too draining)

-Too clingy (sometimes I like being alone)

-Different sense of humour (gotta laugh together)

-Don't get along with my siblings (they're always gonna be around)

-Putting milk before the cereal (barbarians)

[K888]

I think no willingness to listen or compromise would be a big one - for a relationship to work (at least, for me), I think both parties need to be willing to try and see things from the other side, rather than just shut things down.

Not being open, as well - I don't think I could be in a relationship with someone who wasn't honest with me. A relationship is all about trust, and if you don't have that, then what is it?

And also, no willingness to deal with ups and downs - I need someone who can be with me through both the good times and the bad and support me either way.

Plus, like, discriminatory behaviours and the like are a big no-no, but I'd also say that for any friendship as well. You need to be a decent human being haha.

EDIT: I realise I forgot commitment issues.

- Drastically opposing political ideals.
- A lack of understanding pertaining to introversion, anxiety, and other such traits relevant to my personality. Or, more accurately, no willingness to learn.
- Disloyalty.

I also agree with these.

-Putting milk before the cereal (barbarians)

Yes.

[Potatohater]

not too experienced with relationships as yet but things that turn me off people are

- lack of basic intelligence
- too clingy and obsessive
- only talking about me
- only talking about themselves
- conversations that don't flow freely
- unwillingness to learn and explore the world
- generally being a dick

[bimberfairy]

- Disloyalty. I've hated cheaters and cheating for a large portion of my life, and anything close to that is a relationship deal-breaker
- Treating people in a generally bad way, like cashiers in grocery stores, waitresses, retail workers, their parents, my parents, their co-workers or friends etc.
- Differing beliefs, like the recognition of same-sex relationships, social justice issues etc.

[strawberries]

Haven't really thought about this but I guess it's sort of similar to what others have said above:

- lying/not telling the truth
- being too similar (makes things boring)
- unambitious (e.g. no real 'goal'/ambition)
- no approval from their parents/family
- very different political views
- bullies in general
- smoker or drug-user (non-medical)
- not liking potatoes

EDIT: I'm super demanding

[brenden]

Smoking. (Not judging, just don't want to smell it all the time).

Anti-vax - any other variation of "what the fuck" (racism and so on, you can fill in the gaps).

Not necessarily a deal breaker but more of a "what's important" - you have to be like water. Formless. Ready to listen, ready to speak. Ready to yield, ready to double down. Ready to make demands, and ready to acquiesce. Essentially, I'm describing my idea of good teamwork and adequate balance. Relationships aren't all romance - sometimes it's like governance! Who do you want to run an empire with? For me, certainly not someone that is too occupied with themselves, or not occupied with themselves enough. There needs to be two balanced forces - call in yin and yang if you want - but it'd be a deal breaker for me if one of the forces was too out of sync with the other. As for what traits will throw the balance out of whack - that's dependent on the couple in question, but I suppose my deal taker is: "wouldn't balance".

[EEEEEEP]

- Understanding of mental illness - It would be very hard for someone to deal with my problems if they can't step into m POV.
- Selfishness - Self explanatory
- Too stubborn-  I can't stand someone that thinks that they're always right, just too much conflict and it makes problem solving hard.
- Lack of personal space - Even if I like someone, I do need some personal space as I am a bit of an introvert.
- Smoking - The smell goes everywhere (esp) clothes.
- Common interests- We need to have some common interests otherwise one would be bored.
- Understanding - If someone is not understanding, it's likely that they won't be willing to listen.

[Mary_a]

This is honestly going to sound so bad:

but I just could not date someone who didn't read, or just who didn't challenge me intellectually.
Also, cheaters/liars/misogynists/ignorant/lacked basic intelligence

 

[appleandbee]

Can't really see myself getting into a serious relationship for various reasons. My expectations of people have changed over time, I used to always say that I need someone to be intellectually challenge me, but as I got to know different people from various walks of life through things I'm involved in, I've found that it's possible to have an interesting conversation with almost everyone (the only exception probably being an unabashedly sexist, racist and homophobic person who refuses to engage with the other side) if we put a bit of effort into getting to know them a bit better, being non - judgemental, not putting ourselves in an elistist/epitome of intellect position and giving them the opportunity to engage in deeper issues. I probably have tolerarant/not tolerant of different things to most people because of the way I grew up, but here are a few potential deal breakers:

-Sexist, homophobic or extremely capitalist minded (I think capitalism is ok but not to the point of constant endorsement of survival of the fittest theories, it just gives me the impression that they are a selfish person)
-Elitist and arrogant
-Clingy, possessive, impatient or pressuring me with family stuff (this is a big one for me, I need someone to understand that closeness, accepting or giving love doesn't come naturally to having never grown up with those things)
-Severe lack of understanding of mental illness
-No mobility (I probably need to compromise on my part, but I'm not sure where life will take me, so flexibility would be great)

Smoking is fine by me, there are various reasons why/how people got into smoking (I did it when I was going through a tough time). Plenty of my friends smoke, many European people do so. Obviously I encourage someone I'm in a relationship to quit for the sake of their health. Drugs are ok for similar reasons, although they would need to quit as the relationship progresses. Drug dealing is definitely unacceptable though.

Regarding loyalty, I don't know, I find it difficult to commit myself to one person because never grew up with relationships involving commitment and intimacy. But honesty is essential, even if open relationships.

[elysepopplewell]

Someone not woke about feminism, or not willing to be woke. General misogyny, micro sexist aggressions, victim blaming (conscious or subconscious), etc..

[tashhhaaa]

"all girls are bipolar"
"you're OCD because of X" (spoiler alert: don't have OCD)

sexist and stigmatises mental illness as a joke?

boy bye

also
- invades personal space too soon
- never shares anything about themselves
- lack of ambition
- anti-intellectualism
- cocky
- can't take a joke/sarcastic banter

[Mariamnourine]

1. Sexism
2. If they're a Coles person and I'm a Woolworths person
3. Too serious, not playful
4. Too strict about things, like relax, it's only life.
5. probably the biggest turn-off: If they are the type of person who don' t like eating much, then complain that they are too full after like 2 bites of their food, and this basically destroyed your appetite.