Into the Wild essay

[Willba99]

Hey guys, we're doing into the wild and tracks for our comparing unit, so i thought I'd do a practice essay on Into the Wild. I've only done an introduction and my first body paragraph so far but i thought I would post it anyway to get some feedback. Please give me as much critical feedback as you can, I'm looking to improve and I don't mind if you're harsh!!


Into the Wild presents vivid landscapes. How does the landscape develop our understanding of Christopher McCandless?

Throughout Sean Penn’s haunting film Into the Wild, Christopher McCandless’s journey of self-discovery is displayed by his interactions with various landscapes and their accompanying individuals. Through this, it becomes exceedingly obvious that McCandless has vastly different views on nature when compared to his views on civilization, especially that of the upper class. McCandless also has a dismissive view of the government and law in general, preferring to live outside their reach in his own set of (admittedly very high) moral standards. This moral standard is same one with which he judges his family and any friends he chances on.
It can be contended that McCandless’ wildly differing views on nature and civilization provide deep insights into his character. For him, civilization represents consumerism and wealth and hate and racism; all the things he thinks are wrong with the world. Contrastingly, nature is where everyone and everything is treated only for what they are worth. That is, when one escapes the confines of the city, one has a chance to find out about their character. McCandless uses this belief as a reason to go to Alaska; as “the great frontier”, he hopes to make up for his privileged childhood by testing himself in the most extreme environment available. However, McCandless shows a desire to test himself in nature throughout the film. The first-time McCandless makes Ron Franz climb up the hill, Franz gives up halfway, saying, “Getting a little steep, isn’t it?”. In reply, McCandless, McCandless states, “you can see the Sultan Sea from here.” This blatantly associates Franz’s caution with being trapped, and juxtaposes it with McCandless’ personal freedom allowing him to experience new things (such as seeing the Sea). Conversely, it is also possible to glean information about McCandless’ ideals from his deep mistrust of “Society!”. His abused and tedious teenage years had forced him associate wealth with greed and blindness, leading to McCandless’ deep mistrust of money. Therefore, he is happy to spend all his remaining cheque money on a canoe: he believes the only meaningful thing he can do with money is spend it as quick as possible for the possible experiences it may lead to. This also explains McCandless urging the other wheat harvesters to go all-in in poker: he saw no value in them keeping their money and only wanted to experience the exhilaration of risk.

[clarke54321]

Hey guys, we're doing into the wild and tracks for our comparing unit, so i thought I'd do a practice essay on Into the Wild. I've only done an introduction and my first body paragraph so far but i thought I would post it anyway to get some feedback. Please give me as much critical feedback as you can, I'm looking to improve and I don't mind if you're harsh!!


Into the Wild presents vivid landscapes. How does the landscape develop our understanding of Christopher McCandless?

Throughout Sean Penn’s hauntingtoo subjective film Into the Wildmake sure that any reference to title is either underlined or quoted, Christopher McCandless’s journey of self-discovery is displayed by his interactions with various landscapes and their accompanying individuals. Through this, it becomes exceedinglysubjective. Try and remain as objective as possible during intros. There is no opportunity for you to justify your views with no quotes. obvious that McCandless has vastly different views on nature when compared to his views on civilizationperhaps be more specific here. What views does he have on nature vs. society. Think of truth/purity/honesty, especially that of the upper classI don't think this is entirely relevant. The notion of society/materialism/civilisation is enough to suffice your point. . McCandless also has a dismissive view of the government and law in general, preferring to live outside their reach in his own set of (admittedly very high) moral standards I get what you're saying, but it seems superfluous. The whole idea of rules/structure/encumberances come under the umbrella of society. To make your previous sentence more specific, you could make reference to these moral standards. Through a journey into nature, Chris yearns to establish his own ideal of society. ---This idea comes through in Byron's first quote. Society is where no one intrudes. That is, life exists when you are alone and can live by your own ideals.. This moral standard is same one with which he judges his family and any friends he chances on again, I'd work on fleshing this idea out in your previous sentences. . make sure that you keep landscape and Chris' views/motivations/beliefs closely aligned

It can be contended keep this type of language to language analysis. Use less forthright verbs such as suggests/intimates/elucidates/implies/depictsthat McCandless’ wildly differing views on nature and civilization provide deep subjectiveinsights into his character. For him, civilization represents consumerism and wealth and hate and racism; all the things he thinks are wrong with the worldwhere are the quotes to back this up? Film techs?. Contrastingly, nature is where everyone and everything is treated only for what they are worthevidence needed. That is, when one escapes the confines of the city, one has a chance to find out about their charactergreat idea- but you NEED evidence.. McCandless uses this belief as a reason to go to Alaska; as “the great frontier”what can you infer from this description? Quotes are there to be analysed, not just used to slip into your interpretation, he hopes to make up for his privileged childhood by testing himself in the most extreme environment available. However, McCandless shows a desire to test himself in nature throughout the film. The first-time McCandless makes Ron Franz climb up the hill, Franz gives up halfway, saying, “Getting a little steep, isn’t it?”. In reply, McCandless, McCandless states, “you can see the Sultan Sea from here.” This blatantly associates Franz’s caution with being trappedhow did you get to this conclusion? You must work on the intermediate step between evidence and interpretation, and juxtaposes it with McCandless’ personal freedom allowing him to experience new things (such as seeing the Sea). Conversely, it is also possible to glean information about McCandless’ ideals from his deep apparent/seemingmistrust of “Society!”what can you gauge from his impassioned recital of 'society'? . His abused and tedious teenage years had forced him associate wealth with greed and blindness, leading to McCandless’ deep mistrust of money. Therefore, he is happy to spend all his remaining cheque money on a canoe: he believes the only meaningful thing he can do with money is spend it as quick as possible for the possible experiences it may lead tothis is retelling. No evidence to support. This also explains McCandless urging the other wheat harvesters to go all-in in poker: he saw no value in them keeping their money and only wanted to experience the exhilaration of riskgood point, but you NEED evidence.

You have a really good understanding of the film and Chris' main motivations. However, you require much more evidence to substantiate your interpretation. By providing evidence, you are then allowing yourself the opportunity to create analysis, which should really be the bulk of your essay. For each of your main points, I'd recommend that you find some relevant, supporting quotes and then brainstorm around them. This makes it easy to transfer rough ideas into a concise, coherent and well-substantiated response.

If you can work on that, your writing will improve greatly! Keep up the great work 

[Willba99]

Thanks so much!!! I'll have another crack.

So from what you're saying, I'm presenting enough ideas, but i need to support them with more evidence and discussion?

[Willba99]

Also, you've crossed out a few words in my paragraph for being subjective. Should i remove these parts, or should i try to support them with quotes?

[clarke54321]

Thanks so much!!! I'll have another crack.

No worries! Glad I could help you out

So from what you're saying, I'm presenting enough ideas, but i need to support them with more evidence and discussion?

Yeah that's right. Once you build more evidence in and really tease it out, you will find that you'll have a lot more depth in your essay. It will also mean that your arguments will be more specific.

So for your first topic sentence.... It can be contended that McCandless’ wildly differing views on nature and civilization provide deep insights into his character.....you've established that he reacts different to different landscapes. This is great. But within your topic sentence, try and be more specific as to what those differences are. What insights to we get into Chris? Perhaps come back to the idea of purity/truth/clarity vs. abstraction/pretence/superficiality; his yearning for one and detestation towards the other. You could then take it one step further. Why does he want truth? There are indications of this through song lyrics/film shot/books Chris reads.

Also, you've crossed out a few words in my paragraph for being subjective. Should i remove these parts, or should i try to support them with quotes?

Yes, I'd remove these parts. You can't really know if something is 'haunting' or 'deep.' You can't unequivocally prove this ideas with textual evidences. Someone's understanding of 'deep' may differ vastly from someone else.

[Willba99]

alright I've had another crack. Im having trouble with the actual analysis though; every time i mention a point in discussion, i feel as if i need to provide more examples, which require their explanations, which require their own analysis, and so on. Any pointers?