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March 28, 2024, 06:59:43 pm

Author Topic: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ  (Read 76795 times)

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angrybiscuit

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #270 on: November 17, 2020, 02:58:22 pm »
+6
ASH OMG OMG
CONGRATS BB SO WELL DESERVED. Been seeing your folio being putting together these past couple of months and it feels like I'm actually part of the process hehe. Anyways congrats! I know how hard you've worked for this... you deserve it and more!
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eloisegrace

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #271 on: November 17, 2020, 05:14:05 pm »
+6
OH MY GOD  ;D ;D ;D

GO ASH! I'm so proud of you! Hope exams are going well  :) :) :)
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ashmi

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #272 on: November 21, 2020, 09:07:49 am »
+17
✨lm21074, Coolmate, blueycan, Geoo, CM, Bri MT, Potato, ArtyDreams Marylen, whys, angrybiscuit, eloisegrace✨
Hey guys! I just want to say thank you SO SO much for your comments🥺🥺🥺

It really means a lot hearing what you have to say and can I just say you all are so wholesome. I'm so grateful to have such amazing people like you on the forums and it really does mean so much to hear each and every one of your unique replies❤️. I definitely will be posting some pics of the folio after exams so stay tuned to see them!
✰Update: 21/11✰

Journal Update
Hey AN. I'm back with another update.

Remember how I was talking about PDT in my last update? Oh boy here she is again for this whole journal update. Before we begin though, today's song of this journal update goes to this song. This has been my go-to song to blast for the past 2 years whenever I do any work for PDT and means quite a lot to me surprisingly. I was going to leave this particular song for the very last update of this journal but it is here now. If my whole VCE journey could be turned into one song it would be this one here:
(Make sure you turn on the subtitles and auto-translate it to English🤣)

I don't really know where to begin this update so let's just start with the exam which was yesterday.

I walked into school just like an ordinary morning, but with the exception of a good old hash brown from Maccas in my hand.  My PDT class is quite small so we pretty much chilled and had a mini "picnic" in front of the stairwell we would have to go up for the exam later on. Everything was fine and 10 minutes before reading time began, we walked up those stairs to Level 3, the exam floor. I felt very prepared for this exam, but I had a feeling that something didn't feel right. I couldn't put my finger on it, but something was definitely out of place with the exam booklet that was lying there in front of me. I brushed it off and put those thoughts to the back of my mind to worry about it later.

Then, reading time began. I opened the exam booklet and was had a look at the first few questions in Section A. I looked at the second question in that section and so many alarm bells were ringing in my head. I could see so many traps with that question and I was shocked to see something of that "difficulty" at the start of the exam. I kept going, intrigued to see what else would be on the paper. The next few questions following for section A had its easy components but some good trap questions that could easily throw someone off. It wasn't until I reached the middle of the exam booklet where the supervisor instructed us to rip out the detachable design brief. Just when I was about to rip it out, I had a feeling something bad was about to happen. That feeling I had at the start before the exam came back and washed over me. I knew while firmly holding onto that design brief that there would be something in it I wouldn't want to see.

And then I opened it, releasing a beast I didn't know existed out of its cage.
Section B, worth 50% of the exam.
This was the curveball of VCE PDT this year.

For the very first time in all of VCE PDT history, they didn't want us to design an outfit.

They wanted us to make a tactile play mat that transforms into a bag.

That was the moment my heart sank.

"I must be hallucinating" I muttered to myself. But no matter how much I reread that piece over and over again, those words on the paper didn't change. The panic mode started to kick in and in that time span, I could feel my mind becoming clouded.
Writing time commenced and that is when I bolted through Section A as quickly as possible, knowing that this new foreign design task for Section B would throw me off guard.  I usually can get the PDT practise exams done with 30 minutes to spare, but man, this exam I finished literally 5 minutes left before writing time ended. Section A was great, but Section B was a nightmare. All those precious marks that you need to save in PDT were easily lost to my Section B design response.

Everything that I worked for slipped right through my fingers. All those blood (literally), sweat and tears wasted.

I walk out of that exam room feeling numb. I don't even think I got to the stairwell before I burst into tears. And here I was, standing at the top of the level 3 stairs, alone and crying my eyes out.

One of the only subjects that I care about deeply this year I stuffed up.

I had one job, just to get a measly little subject that scales down a ton right and yet I screwed it up. I will not lie, I feel crushed and worthless. I guess I really haven't learnt anything after all. It was merely just a repeat of my 3/4 from last year. There goes my late nights of creating pages for my folio and SACs that I worked myself to death for.

Honestly, I cannot remember how long my crying session went on today, but the feeling of defeat is today's headline in the Ashmi world.

What does this mean now? It looks like Physics is going to have to singlehandedly carry me into my dream course. I can already feel the pressure accumulating and the Physics exam is still a few days away. So many questions and the feeling of doubt is flooding me.  "What happens if I stuff up?" "What happens if the exam is too easy?" "What if I get in there and there is something I cannot answer?"

If there is one thing I'm hoping for this Tuesday, it is for the Physics exam to be hard. Bloody hard. You are my only hope right now and if I look at the exam during reading time and see that it is easy, I will cry in defeat once again.

Sorry everyone, I'll probably just ghost around the forums for a bit and might stay off AN cause I'm not feeling good after that exam. Anyway, that is today's update and probably the last one for a bit. See you around! ❤️

Bri MT

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #273 on: November 21, 2020, 10:41:24 am »
+12
Hey,

It sounds like that's something that would've been a curveball for everyone, so who knows, maybe a whole bunch of people would've struggled a lot with section B and the A+ cutoff will be lower. Maybe all your extra study and effort increased your ability to adapt to that section even if it didn't feel like it. We don't know but I know your mind will keep on trying to tell you that you can and do know you did badly when that's simply not the case if you did answer all the questions. Kudos as well for still managing to finish the exam on time despite how much you were thrown. Wherever you go from here, that ability to pick yourself up and push on is fantastic to have. Fingers crossed for you & best of luck for physics.

The Cat In The Hat

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #274 on: November 21, 2020, 10:45:58 am »
+10
If you found the PDT thing weird and difficult, remember everyone else will have too.

How you felt you went in the exam is not an accurate measure of how you really went.

Your feelings are entirely understandable. Take a break if you need it. Come back if you need it. There'll be people here ready and eager to listen.

Doubt is so easy to listen to. And yet - keep on trying, ignore those doubts, do your best, and maybe it won't be so bad after all.
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homeworkisapotato

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #275 on: November 21, 2020, 11:59:29 am »
+7
Hey ashmi,
I'm sure that most people would definitely have struggled with section B as it sounds like an absolute curveball so I know it's easy to spiral but I believe in you that you can pick yourself back up in time for the Physics exam. I know it feels like it's over but one can never tell how the exam actually goes as opposed to how they feel walking out. I believe in you that you can do this! You will do great on your physics exam I feel it. All the best for physics and don't be too hard on yourself <3
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blueycan

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #276 on: November 21, 2020, 07:33:14 pm »
+7
Talk about a curveball. Good work for pushing through and finishing that exam even though it felt that way. I'm sure almost every other PDT student felt the exact same, and while that may feel like an insignificant thing right now, I hope it can bring you a little comfort in that you weren't alone in what you were experiencing during that exam.
You did the best that you could in that moment under those conditions. You've been killing it in PDT all year and one measly unpredictable exam won't change the hard work, passion and talent that you've demonstrated all throughout this year.
Keep your chin up, ashmi– you've got physics in the bag. Wishing you the best <3
« Last Edit: November 21, 2020, 07:34:47 pm by blueycan »

ashmi

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #277 on: December 03, 2020, 08:16:37 am »
+12
✰Update: 3/12✰
Replies
Probably should put this out here real quick, but PDT is sort of like English/Further in which there are different modules! PDT has 3 choices, Textiles, Wood and Plastics. Sadly though it looks like only the textiles kids who got screwed over because of that exam...
Bri MT🐢
Hey Bri!

Thank you for your reply. It really does mean a be able to hear a logical viewpoint on this situation. The only problem with the A+ cut-off being lower is that this problem only occurred to the textiles kids in the exam and not the other streams... (The Wood/Plastic prompts where quite easy hence why the doubt). Also thanks for the luck for Physics! (Went alright but not the best). Thank you so much for your words and support, it really means a lot💕
The Cat In The Hat🐱🎩
Hey Cat In The Hat!

I really hope what you are saying about what you feel vs accuracy is true (It makes a lot of sense though). Thank you for saying this, I really needed to hear this. I've taken a big break now since the last update and it was definitely something I seriously needed. Thank you for your words.💕
Potato🥔
Hey Potato!

I tried to pick myself up for Physics but I don't know if that went too well to be honest. (I tried my best though and I think that is all that matters in the end) I really hope that everything went alright though and that I'm not experiencing an exaggeration episode. Good luck for Year 12 and make sure you have a break!!! 💕
Blueycan💫
Hey Jeyda!!

(By the way girlllll that profile pic is A M A Z I N G)
I must say, looking back on it now, that was one weirdo curveball to even consider in an exam . I don't even know how all the other textiles kids went but hopefully we weren't too disadvantaged in comparison to the wood/plastic people haha. You are absolutely right with the "one measly exam" bit and I really wished they didn't moderate the folio with it cause it sort of sucks... (but then again they need to make it comparable with people from other schools). Its sort of hard to decide what I should base my efforts on, my actual folio or my study score cause man, at the rate its going it is looking like two very different scores.

Good luck Jeyda for Year 12 and get plenty of sleeppppppp (and music ofc)💕
AN: So Ashmi how have you been going?
Ashmi: *My last braincell*


Song of this journal update
Currently, I'm a mixture of burnout, relief, excitement and fear. I've taken a VERY big break since my last update and I'm currently on a mini vacation with my friends which is helping me recover from this overload of stress that I've placed on myself for the past two years.

Let's start with exams. Thank heavens they are DONE! The only exam that I'm happy with my performance is the English exam and somewhat the Physics exam (wasn't the best but definitely better than every other subject). I'm very glad its done and that I can leave VCE behind me. ATAR wise, I think I may be on the borderline of what I need so I've spend the past few days looking a bit more thoroughly into pathways to be super prepared for the worst case scenario (SEAS please save me).The one thing that I really need right now is just a fresh start, especially with this hell of a year. I'll have much higher expectations of myself when I'm in the course of my dreams, but for now I'm happy with my decision to lower my expectations for this year cause I honestly don't think I would be in a very healthy state if I keep things the same.

^Me trying to get myself back together before the New Year begins.

Straight after the Physics exam, the first thing I did when I got home was sell, recycle or give away all my stuff. I started cleaning my room last Tuesday night and let me tell you I'm still cleaning it. I'm very glad my stuff is being put to better use elsewhere and that I never have to see it again. Something weird happened though, on the second day of cleaning out my room, I found this little tin box. I recognised it immediately but the big problem I faced was that it has this small lock on it and no key in sight. To give you a little bit of context, this tin box had a collection of random things I liked since I was about 8 and I did not remember anything that I put into this box. At this point, I was desperately curious to know what was in this box so I grabbed a small set of bolt cutters, cut that lock open and had a peek inside. Oh boy, I did NOT expect what I saw inside of that tin box.

It was a bunch of photographs and a good chunk of them were from Scienceworks Planetarium.🤣Now, 8 year old me had no clue what the majority of these photos were, but now that I look at them again, it was pretty much astrophysics, electricity, fields and particle/high-energy physics.

It was then and there when I realised, I had an obsession with Physics. (whys thinks that is an understatement though...). I'm not talking about a small little "I love this subject" type of obsession, I'm talking to the extent where this subject has literally become my word. Its funny to think that the child version of myself already loved Physics before I even knew it was a thing.🤣. I don't even know what I got emotional over, but something about that little box got to me.

Anyway enough said of that, let's move on.

So remember how your girl here was ranting on about Top Designs? Well, I've gotten to the final selection stage!!! YAY! I never thought this would actually be happening and now it is seriously down to luck if my work is displayed or not. So on the 15th December, VCAA I AM COMING FOR YOU WITH MY MASSIVE COSTUME. I think I might make a completely separate update either later today or tomorrow with some pictures from my folio. I must say, now that I look at my folio my thought process is like "How did you do this in such a short time frame with barely any resources?". It's funny what you can do under pressure.

Also, this journal has reached over 30,000 views!!! Like WOAH how did this happen? Here is a little screenshot that I took of my journal when it was first starting out and I'm absolutely amazed at the transformation that it has undergone in a year.
Spoiler

Like woah only 175 views and +8 respect? I am seriously amazed
Thank you for the support it means much more than you think!

Finally, here are some goals I want to accomplish before Uni starts:
Learn some Chinese
Get back into Photography and try something new e.g. Astrophotography (Have no clue where to start with Astro haha)
Sew new clothes (AN please keep me accountable for this)
Go out with friends (I'm actually in Mornington right now on a holiday with a bunch of them haha)

Well anyway thank you so much AN for all the support throughout this journey and I look forward to hopefully giving another update soon!!💕 Congrats Year 12s you have made it and good luck to the class of 2021!! We love you as always and have a super relaxing holiday💕💕💕

Chocolatemilkshake

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #278 on: December 03, 2020, 02:23:13 pm »
+5
Hi again Ash (can I just say how I love the format of your updates, the gifs and song make me  ;D ;D)
Currently, I'm a mixture of burnout, relief, excitement and fear. I've taken a VERY big break since my last update and I'm currently on a mini vacation with my friends which is helping me recover from this overload of stress that I've placed on myself for the past two years.
Understandable :) The mini vacation looks incredible, any fun highlights? You definitely deserve it!
At this point, I was desperately curious to know what was in this box so I grabbed a small set of bolt cutters, cut that lock open and had a peek inside. Oh boy, I did NOT expect what I saw inside of that tin box.
It was a bunch of photographs and a good chunk of them were from Scienceworks Planetarium.🤣Now, 8 year old me had no clue what the majority of these photos were, but now that I look at them again, it was pretty much astrophysics, electricity, fields and particle/high-energy physics.

It was then and there when I realised, I had an obsession with Physics. (whys thinks that is an understatement though...). I'm not talking about a small little "I love this subject" type of obsession, I'm talking to the extent where this subject has literally become my word. Its funny to think that the child version of myself already loved Physics before I even knew it was a thing.🤣. I don't even know what I got emotional over, but something about that little box got to me.
This is such a cool story, even 8 year old you knew it aha. I can't wait to see your passion grow for physics as you explore the subject further at university.
Well anyway thank you so much AN for all the support throughout this journey and I look forward to hopefully giving another update soon!!💕 Congrats Year 12s you have made it and good luck to the class of 2021!! We love you as always and have a super relaxing holiday💕💕💕
Another congratulations on becoming a finalist in Top designs, I'd love to (and I'm sure many others would too) see more of your final/folio on here. All the best for the rest of the year, I hope you have a nice relaxing break.
Can't wait for the next update  8)
2021-2025: BMedSci/M.D @ Monash

The Cat In The Hat

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #279 on: December 07, 2020, 06:27:39 pm »
+4
Another congratulations on becoming a finalist in Top designs, I'd love to (and I'm sure many others would too) see more of your final/folio on here.
Seconded!!!
Somehow I only got to seeing this post was here today... and I want another update! :D
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homeworkisapotato

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #280 on: December 07, 2020, 09:21:02 pm »
+3
Super sorry for the late reply Ash but CONGRATULATIONS THAT'S SOO AMAZING! You should be SO proud of yourself and be confident in yourself because I have a vague memory of you saying that you may not get into the finalists but LOOK WHERE YOU ARE! So proud <3

I hope you have an amazing break and your to-do list sounds great. Are you planning on having a uni journal?
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ashmi

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #281 on: December 14, 2020, 05:20:30 pm »
+9
Choco🍫
Hey Choco!!🥰

I'm glad to hear that you like the structure of the journal updates! (Will keep doing them don't worry). So far vacation wise, going out to the beach and just doing touristy stuff has been a big highlight. The food has also been pretty good and living together with friends is amazing!
This journal update today is going to be about my folio so you are in luck~
Thank you for stopping by and have a beautiful and relaxing break! Looking forward to meeting up soon hehe.
The Cat In The Hat🐱
Today is your lucky day because this post is all about my folio haha. Scroll to the end and there should be some of my folio there!
Potato🥔
Hey Potato!
Oh I definitely remember saying that I probably would not get into finalist but man I must have gotten lucky🤣. Thank you bb you are too kind💕. I haven't thought about making a uni journal, but if its something you wanna see let me know and I might make one! It would be fun to have one now that I think about it.
Thanks for stopping by Potato and I hope you are having a relaxing holiday!
✰Update: 14/12✰

Hey AN!

^Me when I go for a Maccas run after this update

To those new to this journal, hello and welcome to the home of constant folio ranting *cough* PDT *cough* and a mild Physics obsession. To those who are already addicted, passing by or lowkey stalking, welcome back to the chaotic mess once again.

Now can we have a drumroll for today's song!
*Drumroll*
Song of this journal update
Ok now onto the real journal update:

Ashmi: *Getting ready to start ranting about a subject*
Physics and PDT:


If you thought PDT, you are bang on right! (Sparing Physics for today haha)

It's quite weird looking back on this folio. Just the whole idea that I did my folio without picking up a Copic marker, touching a piece of bleed-proof paper and printing out croquis templates. It still baffles me that I've been able to produce something without those things.

I remember Year 10 and 11 me going to Top Designs each year and always looking at every folio, every name both in the exhibition and shortlist and thinking "How do people think of this?". Not only are the folios outstanding, they were also very intimidating in its own way. If you know me well, I absolutely suck at drawings things traditionally and let me tell you, when I saw those folios I nearly gave up instantly on the spot. Exactly after each visit, I would always go home and try to improve my drawing skills (which usually failed miserably). Here I was, rewriting and erasing my work in intervals without any success.


^This is the best thing I could find that describes this situation because it is way to hard to describe 🤣
I remember back in Year 10 when I proposed an idea to do a folio digitally to my teacher (as I could draw digitally but not traditionally) and her just saying something like that was absurd. Looking back, there was never a digital folio back in Top Designs when I visited and I assume just like my teachers, it was ingrained into us that something like that wouldn't be considered as a high-quality piece of work. Well anyway, I'm glad I moved schools for Year 11 because it was in Unit 2 where I tried to do my folio digitally.

And that was the moment where I turned my biggest weakness into my strongest strength.

Yes, my new teacher was a little sceptical at first but supported me every step of the way till it was done. Without that constant support, I wouldn't have the piece I did for Unit 3/4 today.

Who would have thought that a mere drawing tablet would be enough to completely change the folio game. I guess you could say it was the thing that "brought back my imagination". I'm very glad to have done my whole folio from start to finish digitally and although it was challenging, it was definitely worth it.

Well AN, today is your lucky day because I have finally gotten myself together and have pictures of my folio! At the end of this post, there is a PDF that has just a few important pages of my real folio (not the whole thing cause the file would be too big. Sorry!). Since the folio is a little too big to place into one post, it will be split up into two parts (so you will have to wait for the next update for the second half haha). Thank you to everyone that has helped contribute to this folio and without your feedback, it wouldn't be the same.💕

Some folio pages:
Spoiler





Also, I would just like to add, I have to give in my product tomorrow at VCAA in Coburg... (watch me walk around Coburg carrying a white covered tissue paper bow and struggling to carry my whole costume to this place while looking like a lunatic in 30 degree heat).

I won't lie, I am SO SCARED. I am PANICKING.

Like oh my goodness, this is ACTUALLY happening. It felt so real when I had to sign the consent forms but knowing that I have to make my way there tomorrow is a little terrifying. I was pretty good for the whole day till I realised that at this time tomorrow, I will be giving up my baby product I've worked so hard on and for them to decide if it goes into the exhibition makes me nervous haha. I guess feeling nervous is also the same feeling as being excited sometimes. So yes I AM EXCITED TOO!

Well anyway, I'll give you guys a verdict of how it went when I'm free. I'm going to iron my product now and put it in a garment bag and start covering all my props in this very easy to rip tissue paper.

See you later AN! Love you all lots💙

Bri MT

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #282 on: December 14, 2020, 06:50:17 pm »
+4
I know we've said this before but WOW this is so exciting and I'm glad that at your new school you were allowed to use a digital medium!

I love how many different designs can be seen in there too & that they're each clearly different.

ashmi

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #283 on: December 16, 2020, 08:52:40 pm »
+7
✰Mini-Update: 16/12✰

Hello, AN!


Song of this journal update
Note: Part 2 of the folio is attached to this update!!

Very quick and casual update for today. So I went to VCAA yesterday with that monstrous costume and do you know how liberated I feel knowing that thing was away from me? Oh bye bye 1.3-metre bow and heavy magician Leafeon costume!

I do feel sorry for the poor lady that had to carry that foreign-looking objects upstairs and attempt to put the costume on the mannequin. Good luck trying to lace up the corset. I struggle every time and I'm the one that made it. 😂 (I think it will get rejected just because it's too hard to put on) Other than that, everything seemed to go well! Turns out there was just under 150 shortlisted applicants for all of Top Designs this year (so PDT, Viscom, Media, Systems Engineering and some of the VCE VETs). I got to meet one of the people that were on the PDT panel for shortlisting this year too!

I must say, I felt like such an imposter of a design student. Literally everyone there was so creative and did so many folio subjects and here I was going uh yeah I'm a maths/science kid that only does PDT. It was SO funny.😂

It was a bit of a weird arrangement inside too. There looked to be some people from each subject panel sitting around in a semi-circle on the side while I was giving my stuff in. It's a little strange cause they are sort of just watching you as you put in your stuff (they literally stare from a distance and I think they are trying to put a folio to a face)

Oh and to top this all off, the person that was helping me sign these forms literally started talking about how his brother is doing his Masters in Physics at UniMelb and that was by far that was the best conversation I've ever had. Apparently, he is doing astrophysics and working on a satellite and I was in AWE the whole time. Like I came for Top Designs, but I stayed for the physics.

Long story short everything went smoothly and I panicked for nothing! We get to hear if we got in or not after our ATARs come out, so stick around to hear that soon.

Enough said of that, attached to this post is part 2 of my folio! I hope you guys enjoy! See you soon for another update!💕
« Last Edit: December 16, 2020, 09:17:06 pm by ashmi »

The Cat In The Hat

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #284 on: December 17, 2020, 08:07:49 am »
+3
Okay, that stuff looks really good. :D
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